Social PHOBIA vs Introversion The Differences 

Thank you 😊 ❤ life is so much some times 🥹

I have both as well. The pills do nothing. However, I have successfully adapted to doing everything completely alone. I can even do things most people require assistance to do, completely alone. I also painfully learned that one that calls themself your friend often is not a friend at all. It is just someone using you to keep themself from getting lonely, even if they do not like you. Being social is far too complicated and has far too many protocols to make it worth the effort. It is a terrifying, unrewarding, experience, with no true benefit nor necessity. Though lonely at times, I have had no friends since 8 August 2000. Loneliness is far less painful than the crippling emotions other can inflict upon us, that dare call us, "friend." I choose to opt out of the pointless social game.

Yeah I feel ya. But to be honest, I’m really confused and stressed on whenever I am both at the same time. Like, i want to make friends, but my body and brain is telling me to hide yourself and just sink into the background because I’m always by myself. It doesn’t help that I’m autistic as well (which I’m proud of being autistic) and that I’m really different from everyone else around me. I just can’t help but think that I’ve wasted my chances to have friends after college. It’s eating at me and I really want to do something about it, but I’m afraid of being ridiculed by my family for hiding it… Sorry about the long comment. I just want to let out what I’m feeling and to be heard.

I feel like I'm more socially incompetent and less so socially anxious. I'm not used to talking that much so when I'm not "in the zone" social interaction catches me off guard and I end up just mumbling. I can put on a social and outgoing facade which has gotten me part time jobs but I fail to keep up that facade for longer periods of times. For that reason, in school I'm known as quiet person and I have a small group of friends.

İt happening like this to me too

Same, that sounds like a really harsh form of social anxiety. But please, don’t give up!! Try to find the right therapist and get it treated, imagine all the suffering that you can prevent in the future for you and your future self ♥️ Do it for yourself, you can do it!!

I can relate to the hopeless feelings. I have also realised that living a normal life will be challenging. The most important step for me is to accept that I am nervous around others and that is just the way it is.

I completely understand this. I have struggled with this for most of my life and many times, people who didn't understand it would often ask why I was so quiet and I myself didn't even know at the time. All I knew was that I felt awkward around people and feared saying something socially unacceptable. And the most hurtful and frustrating thing you are told when you struggle with that is that you only care for your own interests and how you look and you are hiding your light at other's expense because you are too selfish to put yourself out there. That is the cruelest advice of all and I have received much of that from well-meaning people who claimed to be trying to help me when it actually made me feel even worse about who I was because it made me think that I had something to prove and as if the cost of my social anxiety was to become something I wasn't in order to be acceptable. And that truly hurt. The struggle with social anxiety is NOT a choice; it is there and it is something that has to be fought every day and it is HARD. Don't get me wrong, we are still responsible for how we manage our social anxiety; it must be dealt with, not hid behind. And you know what? Sometimes, the best way to deal with it is by not putting yourself in certain social situations. Stay in small groups. If you are truly not comfortable in a setting, you have every right to let someone know and excuse yourself. If people want to judge, let them judge. If they want to talk, let them talk. You are not responsible for their reactions towards you and you are NOT selfish for exercising self care in a situation where you feel overwhelmed, no matter who thinks you shouldn't be. And you are NOT selfish or inattentive simply because you don't say a lot in a group. There is nothing wrong with you. When the battle is overwhelming, you can choose to just listen and that is fine. There is nothing wrong with speaking unless spoken to sometimes or when absolutely necessary. Honestly, if more people operated like that, the world would be a much safer and healthier place to exist in. And for the struggle with social anxiety, each social blunder adds another rung to the anxiety response the next time we have a social interaction and that is not something we can just ignore or put on the back burner. So, yes, there definitely needs to be more empathy for those who struggle in social situations. Simply advising us to stop being selfish or asking us why we think we're so important that everyone is looking at and judging us doesn't help, because that's not the point. Reactions from other human beings come in all kinds of forms and you don't have to be a media personality or the POTUS to have an awareness that anywhere we as people go, we form opinions of those around us. So those that struggle with social anxiety don't need to be reminded how self-centered they come across; they need empathy, support and patience. Not from just anybody, but those that are the closest to them and claim to love them the most.

I‘m autistic and this goes hand in hand with social anxiety. I often go really quiet even if I don‘t really want to. I used to get so stressed from interacting with peers that I had headaches on a regular basis. As a child I used to skip school way to often because I couldn‘t handle interacting with all the other children. I still get really nervous and often anxious around people I don‘t know, where I can‘t think about anything else aside from what I look and act like toward them. I struggled with depression due to the social isolation for multiple years with suicidal thoughts. But hang in there as it improved a lot for me. Knowing myself and liking myself makes me feel okay with being awkward. It still takes a lot more time to feel comfortable around new people but sometimes opening up about your struggles makes them impact you less. If you don‘t feel comfortable yet to talk to someone about it I‘d still try to confront it. Journaling can help a lot. Everyone has their issues. Some struggle in school, some in social situations and others with creative thinking etc. What are your strengths? Are you a lesser human because you struggle with strangers. Hell no. You are special the way you are. You might never be a social butterfly and it‘s hell to work on this but force yourself to talk to other people. I like going to the gym and often give others tips on technique. Most are really grateful for the advice and will ignore some quirks. I‘ve had the most success just being myself and trying to be as natural as possible instead of playing an act. TLDR although it is hard you can improve to some extent

😢we’re here for you and you have our full love and support! You got this 🙌 one step at a time

💙💙💙

tysm for saying this, it’s so important

Get over social anxiety yes but social phobia I doubt it . Sa isn't in the DSM only social phobia when it becomes a anxiety full blown disorder it is much more tough to deal with

This is how i feel too, it's gotten better, but some stuff still is in the can't do this region. mostly bullying was, what changed it for me, i didn't even wanna hang out with people who wanted me to be around, at that time. i think it can go all away, but it seems far away because i got so used to avoiding certain things, i don't even want to try to get better at it, as if i don't want the confirmation that my anxiety is correct more, than proving that it wasn't correct^^

💙

The same thing happened on my first day of College

I'm so sorry and I totally get the whole phone situation. I don't care if I'm having the easiest phone call in history, I just never know what I'm supposed to say or do in that situation and have even needed my mom, and I've written notes before just so I can remember what I'm supposed to talk about. (My memory isn't always the best). I'm so sorry you were bullied, too. I hope you know it wasn't your fault. Hopefully you're doing okay. 🙏🙏🙏🩵🩵🩵

​@@b.w.6152I totally get what you mean. I don't even feel confident enough to have a job or live on my own and social anxiety is part of the problem, and I never wanna get close to anyone, while at the same time I want to. I'm sorry you were bullied, but I hope you know that it wasn't your fault. You got this! 👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️

I was first stop commenting first😭😭😭

Same man

Same

@3angle I’m so sorry about that! I promise things get better🤍. Please remember that you’re not alone.

I’m crying everyday… I’m so lost 😢

#3 for sure. I’m an introvert but want to socialize more

Just my opinion personally I think timestamp for this video doesn't help

@@non-existent4717 okay and you reason for saying that

@@A55a551n because the video explains it so much more and ok well I don't necessarily mean the timestamp itself but like these lil sentences like what is "sugar, we're going down" supposed to mean or thinking at light speed Like the context is missing and the video explain it and it's not that long too like u can just watch it I don't mean to make your comment feel unappreciated. It's sweet that u took time to make it I just thought I'd let my view on that known

@@non-existent4717 okay I get what you mean now and you view is valid

FINNALIY SOMEONE WHO IS THE SAME AS ME I'm crying

Same

I hope you're doing better everyday. I relate to every word you said.

That's exactly how i feel like, this after anxiety thing is really the worst.

@@chazzy6381 I don’t remember all that well, but I’m pretty sure I was crying when I wrote this comment too 😭 ❤️

I got picked on at school too even by a teacher once that made the whole class laugh at me. That was many, many years ago now but I think public school screwed me up. I didn't fit in with any of the cliques ( jocks, partiers, popular, rich kids) especially since I was a transplant. I now hate being the center of attention. I work for myself because working at a factory was like school all over again(gossip and BS). I avoid large crowds anymore because it usually just sucks plus now idiots like to shoot at crowds. I refuse to be a fish in a barrel.

I was the same - gregarious and confident kid but turned into a silent one because of abuse from my schoolmates and teachers

Me too

😂 butt-muncher? Wtf💀

@@ichoppabroccoli3670 where are you from actually? Just wondering because you mentioned shooting in crowds

A lot of people can only ever dream of going to a psychiatrist since it's not something an average working class family can afford. Even if they somehow do manage to fork up the money for it, it's not a 100% guarantee that the doctor is going to be sincere. The doctor could overcharge, put the least effort possible into the appointments and stretch it out into multiple sessions, draining even more money and also wasting a lot of time. All in all, it seems like the only option for people like me is to force ourselves into talking to people or the roleplay thing the lady mentioned in the video. And even this is not a guaranteed to work. I just cry in my bed each night and hope for a painless death or ideally, a people's revolution.

So relatable

@@ashwinikumarprasad6395 What's its name? I think RU-vid auto-deletes comments with links in them.

Discord

@@simplesimon399 did you got the server

Me too. I stay home. I detest/abhor people. 🤣

Same

You are very beautiful 😂

I wish people actually knew how much I wanna go out... Like i never get asked but i am 99% of the time up to go out. I have a small friend group that does some things together. But that's no where near the actual amount I wanna do stuff outside of my own home. I just wish it will change sometime and work is really the only place for me to feel more at ease. I could even say i feel more at home at work then actually at home

Right, you aren't an introvert, glad you realized 👍

I definitely deal with shaking and sweating the most

I also have social anxiety, but therapy still hasn't worked for me. Which kind of therapy has helped you the most?

Isn’t therapy expensive? I have to eat too not be more depressed giving them hundreds of money

@@madison_leah_clarke I'm sorry to hear that. You're not alone and it can get better! Wishing you all the best 🙂

@@Alex-gf5xn I'm not sure... I go to a therapist but I don't really know what kind of therapy or techniques we are using 😂

I cant talk to people like at all. I have to get my friends to talk for me. Like if I’m getting food my friends have to do it. I’m extroverted too so it’s harder. I can talk to people who I’m really close with.

Does Social phobia stem due to experience or can it be by birth?

Evertime I talk to someone I sweat s much and I can't speak 💀💀

I wanted to be a teacher. I went to uni and I got all the qualifications for it but I can't do It. My worst nightmare: 25 teenagers staring at me.

Your mom

This is good. I never thought of the root being shame. Thank you for sharing this.

This is exactly my experience, too.

Wow.. really helpful for me same experience.

I'm very similar, I dropped out of school all together cause of panic attacks. I find myself avoiding social situations especially when it involves friends and family, I even put off going grocery shopping until I have literally nothing left to eat, even then sometimes I will order it and get it delivered to my house cause I'm too anxious to go out in public. I have built a lot more confidence in speaking and general communication due to spending a lot of time playing video games and chatting to people on Discord but in the real world I'm still a nervous wreck. Trying to work on it slowly but even doing simple errands is mission impossible it seems like. Hope we can both improve!

Let's be friends! :)... If you want :)

What kind of job do you have? I am struggling to keep a job in person. It’s hard for me to be around people so I don’t leave my house. I only go outside about 2 times per week but with my husband just to go to the store. 😢

@Lala I work as a client accounting associate for an advertising/ marketing firm. It's nice and fast paced so my adhd is happy too. I really wish they were hiring because I'd send you their way. It's not much but I'll keep you in my thoughts!!!

I must say though, over the years I feel I did learn to handle it better. As a kid, you just feel lost and try to fit in no matter what. As an adult, you put things a lot more into perspective. Like I realized for myself that honestly a lot of "neurotypical" people can be very toxic, clinging to harmful ideas and finding it valid to treat others badly for being different. They don't stop to question these ideas, and simply feel like "that is the social rule so that is what is correct". I realized such are traits that absolutely disgust me, due to which such people are honestly not people whom I care to spend my time with. It makes it somewhat more easy to (to an extent) "be myself" around others, with the idea that, even if they are the type who would treat me badly for it, we can simply establish right-away that I'm never going to like this person, as much as they will never like me. So good riddance. It's less draining that way, and allows me to quickly pick the pearls out of the trash so to speak. On the other hand however, I have this thing where I genuinely, truly don't care in the slightest anymore how someone perceives me. They can think I'm weird, cringy, stupid or whatever. Being able to relax a bit and be myself has vastly more value to me than some random stranger perceiving me well. BUT something that is crucial to me, is "consequences". That is, if another person can actively have an impact on my life, I am particularly mindful to put on my nice little "mask" and try to by no means displease them. Not because I care what they think, but because I care that, if they think badly of me, their opinion may hold negative consequences for me. (e.g. if a university professor thought badly of me, they may grade me worse on a verbal exam). Which causes me to, specifically around such people that I deem to potentially affect my life, be a complete calamity of an anxious mess, terrified that I do one thing or another wrong again.