I HATE HATE HATE when the clueless and ignorant script-writers make Dean be to unreasonably mean to Cas, like... that's just not right, and I refuse to accept it as canon.
My bitch abt it is that he can be mean so long as Cas gets to be significantly pissed and have a standard of apology back. You wanna make Dean be an asshole, fine, but then let him have real consequences for those missteps. Let Cas chew him out more.
Yes. I mean he is shaped by his trauma so it makes sense that he will act in a way that shows he’s affected. But also - Dean loves so much and he loves Cas too, even if people don’t think it’s romantic, he undoubtedly loves him one way or the other. He wouldn’t treat him like this over and over and over again.
@@bbuuttercupp at a certain point, I do think, naturally, of course, Dean gets a main character shield from being called out by the writers. Yes, his narrative and character is deeply influenced by his trauma, but there’s also just the moments when the writers would find it inconvenient for him to be wrong in some way, so they just don’t touch on it.
When you realize that in a way, Cas DID try to tell Dean about Jack, and Dean pushed all of the responsibility onto Cas, so Dean really just expected Cas to either fix it or keep telling him until he snapped at him and cause Cas to go leave earlier than expected. (Tbh, Cas gave up more for Dean than Mary ever did by tenfold, so Dean blaming Cas is a crock of shit, especially considering how there was probably no way for him to really stop Jack, unless Dean wanted Cas to take Mary’s place in being dead.)
I feel like Dean just likes to shift the blame. when Jack came into their lives, Dean blamed him for Cas, even though it was Cas's choices that led to his murder at the hands of the devil. likewise, he blamed Cas even though it was Jack that killed Mary. in other words, he never seems to blame the person responsible. instead, he just shifts the blame to the nearest person.
Guys it’s a show... the show doesn’t lead up in to the emotional breakdowns or we don’t feel the painful level of self sacrifice with out the imperfect journey. Dean lashes out at cas and sam when he’s internally beating himself up the most. He blames cas but when Sam brings it up to him that he knew also.... Dean admits that he did the same thing with what Donatello told him. Mary is his mother... his hero... the person he has missed and been defensive when people talk about her since the very first episode. Sam said something about Mary and Dean got pissed... told him not to talk about her ... Dean deals with his internal blaming by lashing out. The point is the journey.... cas left bc it was written that way for what reasons you’d have to ask the writers... they wrote it like that and some of the best and most powerful loving moments wouldn’t have meant as much if we didn’t see the fighting and the struggling to get there .
@@blarmy827 I liked your comment and i totally agree for 'his end'. I still dont like the ending though,i wanted at least to know if cas met dean in heaven again,what do you believe for this? and do you believe if dean was ever care about cas? like deeply care
I'll NEVER be over the fact that Cas literally created free will by falling in love with Dean 😭 That's the most romantic thing ever ❤️ I love that fruity lil angel with all my heart
Pretty sure cas has been unconsciously in love with dean since S4, and that’s why he (this one cas, out of all the castiels that chuck created) helped dean get out of the beautiful room, and later stop the apocalypse. He’s been in love for a decade and it turned him into The Rebel.
We know that but what I’m wondering is when Cas realized he was in love with Dean and what his reaction was? Was he just like “ah dammit I’m in love with him”
Yeah. That was the one thing that Chuck couldn't control. Was this Cas going rogue because he fell in love with Dean. Tbh when Cas realised it he was probably just like "oh, that's what this is".
I kinda wish Sam would've stepped in and slapped some sense into Dean. Cas is his friend too, right? And when your brother is doing something this stupid it's kinda your holy duty to punch him in the face, no?
yes!! sam has always kinda been their mediator but he just stepped back to let dean say shit he regrets and break cas’s heart, even though cas is sams best friend
I mean if Dean wants to blame Cas for Mary’s death (which was absolutely not his fault) then he should blame himself for Cas’s death because he was the one who literally led them into a death trap.
@@trubb1e well I don't know how he was feeling, but I'd not say he was suicidal. I'm saying he definitely blames himself for the plan to kill Billie going awry. And that plan failing is what eventually led to Cas's death. Knowing Dean, he wouldn't forgive himself for that. Whether he went into the barn in a suicidal mindset or not, I can't say.
When dean says "where are you going?" it's not said with anger it's more confusion because even though he claims cas is 'dead to him', I don't think he ever actually expected cas to leave, because through everything that's happened and everything they've been through, cas has always been there by his side, cas has become a constant in dean's life, so even after everything dean said to cas, he never truly thought that cas would leave him
I was glad Castiel left the bunker and although Dean was understandbly upset he can only blame the angel for so much before he parts ways with the Winchesters altogether.
I have a love-hate relationship with that scene since I did cry a lot when they broke up but they also needed that time (especially Dean) to truly understand what they are together. Dean uses a lot of his anger as a mask for his fear, fear of people he loves leaving him, fear of who he is, and in Purgatory he really did face that fear.
You know when I first watched it I was si mad at Dean. He was too angry at Cas. And I really thought that after they had belphegor taunt cas about the Winchester using him, that they'd do something to show that wasn't true. They'd been taunting cas with that for seasons. He deserved to be reassured. Anyway after rewatching the scene I realized dean was angry but he's a sorta person where he would be angry but he'd still want him around for them to fix it. His pride let him let Cas go. I admired Jensen's acting through body language. He didnt want cas to go. And yes I hated Dean these last seasons. Just didn't seem like him. Cas deserved better
I love how dean’s face doesn’t shift an inch once he knows cas is actually leaving like he’s shut the fuck down but the camera knows. It zooms out and his interiority fills the frame and it’s like wow this bitch need a therapist but also it’s like wow cas is the only thing he got in his life by himself for himself and he really blew it and that is untenable loss. And then you get to the next episode and it’s nothing because the writers hate emotionally continuity. absolutely he wasn’t considering that cas was someone who could have limits and I love that he had to face the music, but by god cas should have put him through so much more like hosted his Grindr dates in the bunker or maybe punched him in the throat, whatever feels right anyway deans a bitch and the camera work rules
Ok, but what the hell did the writers do with Dean in the last seasons? I understand all characters will show flaws now and then but this simply doesn't feel like Dean it feels like John - specially when it comes to Jack.
kinda makes sense doesnt it though? he is a father to jack and he treats him like he himself was treated.Dont get me wrong its toxic as fuck, but that is kinda how it works,unless you are very selfaware and we ALL know dean isnt the best in emotions.
I'm the theory that Chuck is feeding his anger. This is all hus plan. That Dean help Jack to become a bomb and when Sam try to stom Dean kill Sam. I think this is his original plan. And for that he feed hus anger.
@@dianamijde5543 I don't think that's true, I mean didn't you see Bobby? They wrote a whole episode about how he was mentally and physically abused by his father throughout his childhood, yet he grew up to be the most wonderful father to Sam and Dean, treated them like his own and gave them the little childhood they truly deserved. (taking Dean out to play catch instead of training him to shoot a gun, buying little Sammy the amulet to gift his dad for Christmas, etc.) Of course, I get your point, but I don't think the writers would pull something like that after sending out such a strong message like that.
If you watch the interactions beetween dean and john it really makes sence, We are as men the product of our farthers, Dean had undying loyalty and respect for his farther, called him sir and everything, Its fitting he acts strikingly like john from season 1, both nearing the same age, both struggling farthers with the weight of the world resting on his and his boys shoulders, Both knowing heaven and hell has ungodly plans for their children that may force them both to kill their own sons,
Everytime I think about the breakup and everything before that I'm like ??? I know it's a defense mechanism and weird way to punish himself, Dean's relationship with Cas is the most or one of the most important things he still has around that he built by himself and still feels he has control of, but it's not like Dean didn't know Jack didn't have a soul, he knew how Sam was when he was like that and how unpredictable that could be because of Jack's powers, so when Dean lost Cas in purgatory is kind of a wake up call that he could actually lose Cas forever and it would be his fault
Dean always deflects and targets his anger and grief on to one person even if they're not really at fault. He did it to Jack when Cas died, though it wasn't Jack's fault at all, he did to Sam when Charlie died (he point blank told him it should've been him who died instead of Charlie), and he did to Cas when Mary died. That breakup scene was so difficult because not only are his words hurtful but you also see that he feels what he's saying, what he's doing is wrong. He wants to stop him but his ego is too big at the moment so he just let's Cas walk away. Also, everytime Cas has died or been at the verge of dying, Dean has lost his shit, been completely broken down, wanted to die, refused to believe he's really gone. I mean after season 12, he literally spent the first 5 episodes in constant depression. So HOW ON HELL AND HEAVEN WAS HE LIKE OKAY AFTER 15X18. Like Jensen tried to insert the despair and grief wherever he possibly could but the script for 15x19 was so weird..it was so upbeat like we didn't didn't just witness the most devastating moment in the shows history 5 minutes ago. (Bucklemming wrote it so...makes sense) but it just doesn't sit well with me that he would be so normal after...that, especially the way he went and what he said. And in 15x20 when Sam is thinking about Cas and missing him Dean is like "we can't let the sacrifice go waste, we have to keep living". Now that was a very un'Dean like thing to say, that he would be cool with just living and moving on and not doing everything he can to get Cas back. I tried to shrug it off by thinking that Cas's speech about Dean being the amazing thing that he is finally made Dean realize that he does deserve to live and does deserve to move on because that's what Cas would've wanted but....imma just pretend the finale didn't happen and the show ended in ep 19. (Also, I guess atleast they're all in heaven and living happily ever after eating Dinner at John and Mary's. )
Maybe that's why Dean welcomed death that time so gladly, like he was waiting for it. It was like there was nothing more for him to continue living. He knew that Sam would be alright this time, he just wanted his own life to be over, as he had lost everything and everyone he loved and cared for, he gave up. But I really would have appreciated a real last meeting between Cas and Dean in heaven, instead of getting the news of Cas's resurrection from Bobby and acting like it's nothing.
I wish Dean had reacted too I was extremely frustrated when in the following episode Cass death he acted like it was nothing or I don't know the death of an actor invites. Ps: There may be things written wrong there because I'm using Google translator I speak Portuguese
The final season, especially the last episodes of it feel so wrong because everything is rushed and the characters are not giving us what they usually did 😂 I was so pressed and felt cheated by it
dude it’s just shitty writing and know that technically the writers owe us nothing but when we all know that’s it’s just NOT DEAN. like they blatantly ignored so much to just wrap the show up fast. i know covid was happening, but i think we all would’ve been fine waiting if we would’ve gotten a decent finale
Cas: You and Sam have each other. *Sam busts in, all frustrated fury* Sam: No! I refuse this breakup ! You are not leaving me alone with a post break up Dean! Do you know how he is when you’re not here?! Dean & Cas: 😐 Sam: I’m calling a marriage counselor! You two are gonna get your sh-- together!
I really hate the last two seasons... Dean is just way to aggressive and I know he went through shit but he behaves like a little child now and he can't even treat Cas as a person, he just let's his anger out on him. The last season's should be relationship development but Deans anger ruined everything they built up for for 10 seasons...
He didn't say that he had seen him kill the snake something like that, but anyway everyone knew/felt that something was wrong it's unfair to blame just one when the three were fulfilling the role of parents.
The only viable explanation I can think of is that Dean is simply OBSESSED with Cas, to the point of near insanity - he's just hiding it well in everyday interactions. It's when he's under duress and simply cannot expedite the necessary energy to keep pretending when all of this comes up. He will connect anything and everything to Cas, one way or another. And given the kind of person Dean is, it will naturally manifest as anger - the emotional frustration isn't insignificant in that whole process either. Cas is also always there for him when it matters so it's very convenient to blame him no matter what. I don't refuse that living in such a state must be extremely taxing, but Dean's still an asshole. Just get over yourself bro.
That breakup scene hurt me most and Dean for the first time seemed idiot blaming everything to Cass...and when he was leaving he didn't say a word....he knew castiel is all alone without them.....heavens do not accept him, he obviously can't go to crowley(as he was dead), God is against him.....Jack was dead...and Dean just let him go knowing that he will be sitting all alone blaming everything to himself with no one to share his heart out.....😥😢😢
in 4:11 after cas says "so this is goodbye?" and right before sam calls them, dean is looking directly at cas' lips which only makes me think dean wanted to kiss cas goodbye since he had nothing to lose
it kinda reminds me of how when dean nearly gave himself up to michael in season 5 he said that line about "last time someone looked at me like that i got laid" its like he really does Nearly Almost let himself be bi everytime he's about to die
14:35 the emotional heaviness of the scene instantly vaporized when at first I didn't realise Dean was leaning against something and I instead thought he was just...standing like that.
@5:27-6:53 Can they be MORE married? Yes, let's have a conversation about serious family issues while our kid is away from the table so we won't upset him.
Ugh, I cannot believe that they thought this ending was a good idea. So the entire thing about the deal was "when he allows himself to be happy" - and when he does, he gets immediately dead and is never seen again?
Wait, I haven't seen the later seasons, but what I'm gathering is that Dean knew that Jack was losing his soul, and then Jack lost his soul and killed Mary, and Dean... blames Cas?! It's moments like this that make it hard to continue shipping Destiel. Dean is really unfair to Cas. If they all knew Jack was losing his soul, then they all knew something was off with Jack, not just Cas.
It's true, but I think the thing that the writers chose to justify this was the moment when Jack killed his pet snake. Cas saw it but hadn't told anyone
I love watching these because I've never actually seen the show so I know literally nothing about the plot surrounding the scenes of these two and their gay soap opera. They're just saying words
I start like that. Now I watched the show And IM IN PAIN But you know what's interesting, IT WAS DEAN who fall first for me And it was HELLA REAL Watch the show
@@anyways3114 jesus yes. To Dean it started somewhere mid season 5. The way he looks at Cas after his journey into the future? That's no friendly look. I'm also convinced that "Bert and Ernie are gay" and "I'm not gonna let you die a virgin" weren't unrelated facts in Dean's mind, he just maybe wasn't fully connecting the dots himself. By the time Cas dies and leaves his coat behind for Dean to carry around for a year - he had to have been embarrassingly taken by Cas. By the time they both landed in Purgatory Dean was madly in love, like absolutely insane. No doubt in my mind. At the same time I don't think Cas felt the same way for Dean until at least late season 8. Fandom uses the lines such as "I gave everything for you" and "Dean and I do share a more profound bond" as proof of anything but to me they are taken out of context. First means Cas trusted Dean's cause and decided to join him, just for Dean to abandon it himself and it rightfully pissed Cas off, the other is a straight out lie to get Sam off his case, so he didn't have to explain why he stopped answering Sam's prayers or admit he was the one who got Sam out of the cage. But when Cas was brainwashed to kill Dean, and he still failed at the task when Dean gave what is basically a love confession by his standards? Yeah. He had to at least start suspecting something. But he definitely didn't love Dean when he was god or when he remained in Purgatory. That's my interpretation of events at least. I especially refuse to believe that Cas loved Dean right from the beginning, since Hell. That's such annoying bs and totally cheapens Cas' rebellion and his invention of free will. It might seem romantic, but isn't. Not to mention extremely unlikely and unrealistic within the constraints of what we know about angels.
3:55 that line from Dean has always pissed me off so much. Cas isn't his friend, Cas is his family, and has been for years at that point. Family's responsibility is to call you on your bullcrap and be there for you to make life a little less hell in any way they can, they don't just stand by when they see things go wrong enough to want to jump off the deep end of the pacific. I know he was pushing Cas away to make it easier to say goodbye, but dude. Cas isn't just Dean's friend, even before destiel went canon, and for a show where family is this important to not have Cas immediately address that difference in terminology just rubs me the wrong way in so many ways.
The biggest joke of this entire video is that misha began "playing as in love with Dean" at the start of s15 😂😂😂😂 to me and the entire fandom he didn't change ???
That ‘Where are you going?’ In the divorce scene…. Like that ONE LINE should sell Destiel to anyone. I can’t understand him being so mad at Cas the way he was ( he literally blamed everything going wrong on Cas and he blames Cas for his mother being dead) yet he still asks where he’s going. And the way he asked it. After yelling at him? It was soft, yet seductive and almost apologetic. That one line in that scene tells me fuckin everything. Like like like like 😔
I hated how they made Destiel in the last seasons, Dean always blame Cas for everything that happen, even tho it's not his fault. Before Mary arrived it was just two chaotic idiots who are secretly in love with each other. Now it's just pain, fights and blame, no Happiness
14:50, those eyes are eyes that I've made before, pleading, "please don't go" eyes. The ones you make when you can't express you wanting them to stay but you can't bring yourself to say so, or wanting to apologize but being to proud or uncomfortable to do so. And then after they've left it's just... Defeat. I know what Dean is feeling as I've felt it before...
10:17 that "The hell I dont" always scares me. The way he looks at him and says it is scary it almost feels too real if that makes sense like Jensen was pissed off that day or something.
YALLLLLL That scene around 0:53 like Cas' facial expressions and how they convey soooo much of what he is feeling. Misha's acting is so fucking gooooood.
Big win with no strings attached. So Cass's coming back win had strings. What strings Dean? Is Dean talking about strings that bind us. Or heart strings?
you know loving destiel is hard because on the one hand i love them so much and they deserved to have their happy ending and know they were both loved. On the other tho while they both made dumb mistakes the way dean treats Cas throughout the show really frustrates and hurts me. Especially in the last few seasons. Like seeing all these scenes together makes me wanna punch Dean in the face and feel like he didn't deserve Cas. I know he went through a lot, but Castiel was just a punching bag for Dean sometimes because he was hurting and thought Cas would never leave him, no matter how harsh he got. In conclusion, i love the fruity angel and have a very complex love/hate relationship with Dean (mostly love who am i kidding) but idk what the writers were on in those last couple seasons
1:43 you dont have to attack me like that man. the fact that that's basically dean's subconscious projected onto pamela, and to have the realization that both dean and cas share the same mentality when it comes to romantic love? i really woke up today and chose ✨ pain and suffering ✨
The Winchesters theme plays with Cas in the scene too. I have even heard it play when Cas alone is present in a scene. Like why write him like family and fit the score to him like family if he wasn’t?
Also everything that happened in this show... all the ups and downs seem meaningless because it was all how Chuck wanted it to happen... I just wished season 14 and 15 wouldn't exist
dean will always be my favorite character of all time but the way he treated cas was absolute trash. cas lived and died for dean. he didn’t deserve cas what so ever. istg the writers hated cas with a passion and it showed.
i feel that sam and dean where yin and yang. and it wasnt possible for cass to fit in anywhere, except another disposable friend to die for them. dean treated sam like shit too, he guilt tripped him into staying in the life a few times and didnt even let him die when he wanted too, didnt trust his judgment several times, which made him difficult or impossible to work with. of course he'll treat cass like trash. cass is a supernatural creature and dean hates them by default.
@@GotoMaki4Micah I see what you’re saying. The way I see it, Sam and Dean can be co-dependent and that can be unhealthy for both them and others. Cas was special to Dean unlike any other monsters because Dean realized that. Dean defaults in a black and white mentality when he gets scared. I wish they showed Dean’s character growth properly in the last season, and they didn’t.
They did Cass so dirty. WASN'T HE FAMILY AND DEAN ALWAYS SAID TO HIM "WE DON'T LEAVE FAMILY BEHIND?". Also, THE BI ERASURE!! Dean has been my representation as I discovered my bisexuality and now I feel lost and unseen. I hate the writers. I think they should fix it by making a special on just Destiel where Dean struggles to come out and continues avoiding Cass like he did in 15x20 but then he comes out to everyone and confesses his love for Cass and they are happy and together.
I don’t get how people see Dean as bi? Cas loving Dean in that way is absolutely apparent and him not understanding it until the very end makes sense. Cas dying is not bi erasure ... Dean is very straight and he’s open and loving with cas in a brotherly way. He treats Sam and cas in similar ways... cas just has a level of ignorance bc it’s all new to him... for quite awhile. I don’t think Dean ever took cas’s love for him as more than family. Dean had no way to stop cas from bringing the empty and taking him and Billie. Cas did EXACTLY what the Winchester’s have been doing the entire show. Sacrificing themselves when there is no other choice. Also we know he isn’t in the empty bc bobby said that Jack and cas helped fix heaven to make it what it was at the end. We only don’t see them bc of covid and filming compliance’s. They would have all been together there but cas looks at Jack as a son.... that’s where he would want to be. Dean didn’t love cas romantically and that’s just the truth. I’m bi myself and understand why people want it... but bc cas is an Angel and Dean treats him like a brother... love him more than life but hate him more than life at times.... that’s family. Don’t turn a beautiful gesture of cas sacrificing himself to save the boys into something ugly to mean something that it didn’t. The boys try to offer themselves up to die all the time through the show and they do more than once... it follows the pattern of this show and it’s the only way cas story could end.
@@blarmy827 Why is Dean loving Cass romatically considered ugly by you? Also, they could have waited for COVID and shot the last episodes later on OR DO THE SAME AS OTHER SHOWS BY TESTING EVERYONE AND SHOOTING EVERYTHING THE WAY THEY INTENDED. Cas dying was literally the "bury the gay trope". AND DEAN IS OBVIOUSLY BISEXUAL, OBVIOUSLY! The things he does for Cass, he has not done for Sam. Example: Dean never gave up on Cass after he lost him in the Purgatory even when Sam did. But he let go of Sam for a year after Sam was in Lucifer's cage. AND there is no destiel scene in this video, HOWEVER DEAN IS VERY FLIRTY WITH MEN. HE LITERALLY IS BI: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-rQSPmmuLJB0.html
NOT PAMELA TELLING DEAN HE ONLY WANTS WHAT HE CAN’T HAVE AND CAS LITERALLY SAYING THAT ABOUT HIMSELF AND THEM BEING IN NOT REALLY UNREQUITED LOVE HMMMM
Fuckin love Sam and Cas in deans brain having a casual conversation about his trauma, like, they both know what’s up in the kitchen in the library every day the whole time and they simply choose to say nothing ❤️
I actually stopped watching the show and stopped shipping them for a bit. It really did seem like the writers hated cas huh. I think that's the product of having so many different writers vs one person's dream. Destiel was a great in the earlier seasons where the actor's chemistry shone through and they allowed them to be in close contact. I couldn't stand the Winchesters sometimes because even though they called cas family, they were always more than willing to use him to their advantage for his power. Dean appeared different but then he'd call on cas with puppy eyes when Sam was in hurt or they were in trouble. I admit he was mad at him because cas didn't prioritize his own safety and Dean hated losing him but he treated him like shit "nobody cares that you're broken" shit like that always set me off. He'd never say that to Sam ( if he sees them both as brothers). They severely neutered cas from badass angel who helped Dean but reminded him of who he was to a puppy who followed them around living to serve. Dean was so mean I was glad when Cas left. I wanted it to be longer tbh. I wanted him to stand up to them and kick their asses. It must be hard playing a character not liking what was written for said character but unable to do anything. It was def better up until season 12
When Cas and Dean were at the mexican restaurant, I wish Cas would have held Dean's hand 😩 it would have fit the scene, made us happy, ANNNDDDD- destiel would be better felt.
I feel like the writers made Dean's whole personality his anger in the last few seasons because there are fleeting moments where we see him gentle or calm. In one of the cons Jensen mentioned the ending didn't sit right with him initially but eventually accepted it, but when we see Dean in The Winchesters, we see him calm, not angry for the first time in years and it's all because the writers are different, Jensen gets to bring out the side of Dean we haven't seen in years. And then the show got cancelled :/
It still takes me out that Cass' voice gets more "human" and less "angel-gravelly" every time he gets overcome by emotion in later seasons, and he sounds the most human, when he's either about to lose Dean or expressing how much he cares for Dean (or Jack). Excuse me, while I go lay down.
I kid you not: every time I see a new one of these videos, I have to mentally prepare myself for the upcoming emotional damage. I can never decide if I want to watch them, or save them for later, because DAMMIT, here I am crying now , and I don't regret it, BUT IT F@$KING HURTS. I LOVE YOU FOR CREATING THEM, BUT I HATE YOU JUST THE SAME BECAUSE DESTIEL HURTS JUST BY ITSELF, BUT WHEN ALL THE MOST PAINFUL AND BEAUTIFUL SCENES ARE SMASHED TOGETHER LIKE THIS..... It just hits so much harder. AUUUUUGHHGHGHGHHG
I like that 'hit different' doesn't just mean feel better. like those destiel scenes about mary and jack hit fucking different knowing for certain that Cas loves Dean. they hurt more sure but i like that you didn't just stick to the feel good destiel scenes
DEAN'S FACE AT 1:50 IS THE SAME AS WHEN HE GOES "well enochian's pretty hard maybe you got a word wrong" AND CAS GOES "I don't get words wrong" It's his flirting face that's what I'm saying
So I started watching SPN at the start of December (and I am totally obsessed with this show), and I haven't watched s15 yet. I know how it will end, but these few clips just make it so much more terrifying to start, bc I'm not ready for this level of emotional torture...
