Meanwhile in the Angelic Days AU.... This took so long and I out off my work to make this so y'all better enjoy it. Also I don't own Evangelion OR the Simpsons. Don't flag this.
KEEL: Well, Gendo, I made it... despite your directions. GENDO: Ah, Director Lorenz! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for Instrumentality after an unforgettable luncheon! KEEL: Always. [Gendo walks into the kitchen, and finds that not only is his roast burning, but he also looks outside to see that Shinji and Asuka just torpedoed ALL chances of both Third Impact AND Instrumentality, and are now talking about their god-awful parents] GENDO: [gasp] Oh egads, the Scenario is ruined! As is my roast! But what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking while I try to expose SEELE to the UN? [to himself] Oh ho ho ho ho... delightfully devilish, Gendo! KEEL: Uh- [cue song] Gendo with his crazy explanations, That Chairman Lorenz is gonna need his medication, When he hears Gendo's lame exaggerations, There'll be trouble in town tonight! [end of song] KEEL: Gendo! GENDO: Chairman Lorenz, I was just, uh... just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me? KEEL: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Gendo? GENDO: Uhh... no! That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having! Mmm... steamed clams! [beat] Ooh... [a few moments later] GENDO: Chairman, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers! KEEL: I thought we were having steamed clams. GENDO: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers! KEEL: You call hamburgers "steamed hams?" GENDO: Yes. It's a regional dialect! KEEL: Uh-huh... uh, what region? GENDO: Uhh... Kansai? KEEL: Really? Well, I'm from Kyoto, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams." SKINNER: Oh, not in Kyoto, no. It's an Osaka expression. KEEL: I see. [beat] You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the Big Mac. GENDO: Oh ho ho ho... no, patented Ikari burgers. Old family recipe. KEEL: For steamed hams? GENDO: Yes. KEEL: Yeah, so you call them "steamed hams" despite the fact they are obviously grilled. GENDO: Ye- hey- you know, the- one thing I should- excuse me for one second. KEEL: Of course. GENDO: [YAWN] Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all, I'm pooped. KEEL: Yes, I should be- Good Lord, what is happening in there!? GENDO: Instrumentality? KEEL: Uh- Instrumentality!? At this time of year, at this time of day, at this point in the Scenario, localized entirely within your kitchen!? GENDO: Yes! KEEL: So why am I still here? GENDO: Give it some time. FUYUTSKI: Gendo, Terminal Dogma is on fire! GENDO: No, Kozou-it's just Instrumentality! KEEL: Well, Gendo, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham. [Keel is suddenly and without warning shot in the head by a sniper bullet.] GENDO: Nice work, Shinji! Your plan worked! SHINJI: Now to take care of the rest of the council, make sure the MP-Evas are never used, expose this whole plot to the UN, clean up the remaining Angels, get mom out of Unit-01, get EVERYONE therapy, and we all live normal lives! ASUKA: Aww, but I was really getting used to this whole tsundere thing. SHINJI: Do you really want to be a complete and utter bitch for the rest of your life? [beat] ASUKA: Alright, let's go take care of the rest of SEELE.
0:34 🎶Gendo with his crazy explanations Chairman Lorenz’s gonna need his medication! When he hears Gendo’s lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in Tokyo-3 tonight! 🎶GENDO!!!
as someone from CNY, around Utica, I have to say I have never heard of steamed hams. (that said, we usually use specific region names like CNY, WNY, ADK, STNY, CDNY, etc rather than "upstate" if we're actually from Upstate xD )
