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Stephen Colbert's Monologue Does As The Monolith Wishes 

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
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2 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 3,6 тыс.   
@maximilianb7722
@maximilianb7722 3 года назад
The artist who installed this monolith is having the time of his life rn
@arfyness
@arfyness 3 года назад
I'm picturing some bored kids from machine class.
@dubseas
@dubseas 3 года назад
yes.
@dafinakrasniqi2521
@dafinakrasniqi2521 3 года назад
Or the company, who instaled it for the media attention
@王艺璇-w3k
@王艺璇-w3k 3 года назад
Are you assuming the gender of our superior being from The Mother Ship
@maximilianb7722
@maximilianb7722 3 года назад
@@dafinakrasniqi2521 What's the purpose of an ad if no one has any clue what it's an ad for?
@wilywascal2024
@wilywascal2024 3 года назад
Humans: "We will go to any length, surmount any difficulty, to despoil pristine nature!"
@billyagpalo6519
@billyagpalo6519 3 года назад
> you found a wishbone in your turkey. 🦃 > you wished for ____ luck. - if you chose the option with the most votes, you’ll get the opposite. if you chose the option with the least votes, you’ll get the opposite.
@tutoring1013
@tutoring1013 3 года назад
Yep, the monolith always appears at special periods in Earth's history when intelligence itself starts to become endangered.
@moviescinema958
@moviescinema958 3 года назад
Yes exactly! It's there in 2001 and 2010.
@rebecca8525
@rebecca8525 3 года назад
What happened those years?
@edwardphilibin3151
@edwardphilibin3151 3 года назад
"when intelligence itself starts to become endangered." Obviously it was delayed by 4 years. Or someone wasn't paying attention. 😉
@moviescinema958
@moviescinema958 3 года назад
@@rebecca8525 Movies 2001 A Space Odyssey and 2010 based on the books by Arthur C. Clarke which Colbert is referencing.
@jonathangumra7083
@jonathangumra7083 3 года назад
The aliens are here to take the duck, the chosen one to new country as promised, remember the flee to new country 😱🙄😎🏌️🤔🤫🤑🤪promised by the duck if he lost, monolith is secret space force ship 🛳️🤐🤔😛🤔🦆magas get on board 😂😋🐣😱🙄😜we will have the Guyana Jones Town kool-aid party 🎉😎😱🐇🐰😨😰
@ericminch
@ericminch 3 года назад
I've never heard this before and I like it: "Two wrongs do not make a right, but the president is determined to find out how many do."
@dannybolman7739
@dannybolman7739 3 года назад
I like it!
@johndoe-hi6yd
@johndoe-hi6yd 3 года назад
Not a single “2001: A Space Odyssey” reference? Seriously?
@arescoleman5895
@arescoleman5895 3 года назад
I know im asking the wrong place but does someone know a trick to log back into an instagram account..? I stupidly forgot the login password. I love any assistance you can offer me!
@otiskareem6043
@otiskareem6043 3 года назад
@Ares Coleman Instablaster =)
@arescoleman5895
@arescoleman5895 3 года назад
@Otis Kareem thanks for your reply. I got to the site thru google and I'm trying it out atm. Seems to take quite some time so I will get back to you later when my account password hopefully is recovered.
@o_Kay_Fern
@o_Kay_Fern 3 года назад
I hope the Monolith is just a giant reset switch for the planet. This way we can finally turn it off and back on again
@aidankiriakou2064
@aidankiriakou2064 3 года назад
That's where the stolen ballots are!! 😏
@Norimarisu
@Norimarisu 3 года назад
It's either an early version of a Carl or a nice art thingy about mirrors.
@purplebonnie3620
@purplebonnie3620 3 года назад
Ctrl Alt Delete, End Task...
@angelaonthego
@angelaonthego 3 года назад
That’s exactly what they’re doing with covid as the cover story. Go to the World Economic Forum channel. They’re calling it The Great Reset.
@angelaonthego
@angelaonthego 3 года назад
Careful what you wish for. You’re reset has already begun. unlike restarting a laptop-it won’t be pretty.
@SirConto
@SirConto 3 года назад
Such surprise about being able to tell sheep's gender from a helicopter: male sheep also known as rams do in fact have big horns.
@Travisbig7
@Travisbig7 3 года назад
That's interesting because I thought only male goats were called rams
@SirConto
@SirConto 3 года назад
@@Travisbig7 Went and verified with a dictionary, a ram is a male sheep and not a goat. A male goat can be called a buck.
@Travisbig7
@Travisbig7 3 года назад
@@SirConto I feel so stupid I spent most of my life thinking a male goat is called a ram well thanks for the lesson though
@vooveks
@vooveks 3 года назад
12 feet tall in sections?! How could anyone human manage that?! They’d need some sort of galactic, alien technology, like a large van.
@brianarmstrong2482
@brianarmstrong2482 3 года назад
Hehe
@joycee5493
@joycee5493 3 года назад
Lol !!!
@shrimplypibbles3451
@shrimplypibbles3451 3 года назад
"Monoloth, as some are calling it." - best Trump impression in 4 years 🤣
@bobbysantos4704
@bobbysantos4704 3 года назад
News flash: The so-called monolith was recently revealed to be nothing more than a section of Trump's wall which was inadvertantly installed 600 miles north of the mexican border,
@parnelpospahala7920
@parnelpospahala7920 3 года назад
LOL 🤣😆😂🤣
@vxxiii4160
@vxxiii4160 3 года назад
Nah, the monolith looks of way better quality than the actual wall
@Marlowekay
@Marlowekay 3 года назад
CHORTLE! CHORTLE! CHORTLE! etc....
@deadfreightwest5956
@deadfreightwest5956 3 года назад
"Wait, there's a _New_ Mexico?!"
@Anshelart
@Anshelart 3 года назад
Now that’s funny!
@davidsavary9969
@davidsavary9969 3 года назад
"To give a list of national security threats to a president that's not on it." That was funny.
@iwanttobelieve5970
@iwanttobelieve5970 3 года назад
Isn't 2020 so crazy that a Monolith's sudden appearance doesn't even make us flinch.
@fuckfacefaggotbreath8143
@fuckfacefaggotbreath8143 3 года назад
what's crazy is nobody knows shit about it yet they all jump to conclusions. even where the story broke, they specifically said in there no information would be given about it. so what's the big fucking deal anyway?
@DaveGIS123
@DaveGIS123 3 года назад
C'mon, it's 2020! That monolith is 19 years late!
@Archgeek0
@Archgeek0 3 года назад
@Sterling Pound Yeah, monolith literally means "one stone". Applies to any structure carved of a single stone. A lot of shorter obelisks are monolithic.
@JeremyEllwood
@JeremyEllwood 3 года назад
Even worse, it excites us. "PLEASE BE OUR NEW OVERLORDS!"
@laurethjezebelle8707
@laurethjezebelle8707 3 года назад
@Sterling Pound Or a Fauxolith...
@joycee5493
@joycee5493 3 года назад
The irony of the “monolith” appearance is just perfect for 2020!
@wikansaktianto9215
@wikansaktianto9215 3 года назад
We just need a month to lived...
@LunarisArts
@LunarisArts 3 года назад
New years day, it'll pop open with sparklers, party streamers and baloons carrying a banner saying 2020 was an alien prank.
@andrewkohler3707
@andrewkohler3707 3 года назад
@@wikansaktianto9215 Well, 19 years too late, according to Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick. ;-)
@tmseh
@tmseh 3 года назад
A brief interruption of the government waste counting sheep junk from a helicopter with a crew of three.
@rsteeb
@rsteeb 3 года назад
@@andrewkohler3707 Maybe a sequel to the sequel "2010"?
@YeahCleveland
@YeahCleveland 3 года назад
“Pagan priest summoning the Norse god of dentistry” 🤣🤣🤣
@JB-Ohiolove
@JB-Ohiolove 3 года назад
We love you, Stephen. Enjoy your family on Thanksgiving day! You and your wife are the cutest!!
@D-Terminat0r
@D-Terminat0r 3 года назад
"We" ? Speak for yourself JB. I dont go around telling strangers who don't even know I exist that I "love" them.... That's just deluding the meaning of those words all together. Have some self respect!
@mikefurlong8025
@mikefurlong8025 3 года назад
Can we just stop for a second and appreciate the phrase "Huffing Stuffing?" That may or not accurately describe what goes on at my family Thanksgiving on any normal year.
@VonSnootingham
@VonSnootingham 3 года назад
"By the way, the Monolith is played by Vin Diesel." Come on. Played by the Rock. It's right there, Stephen.
@p1kkujuha
@p1kkujuha 3 года назад
There's Rock right next to the monolith though
@reneeelias7168
@reneeelias7168 3 года назад
Too Easy
@weirdunclebob
@weirdunclebob 3 года назад
@@p1kkujuha So the Rock is a supporting character.
@o0SKRen0o
@o0SKRen0o 3 года назад
But Vin Diesel already has experience playing a giant piece of iron.
@mystiqueivy
@mystiqueivy 3 года назад
@ so is the rock no? hahaha
@Darbysmommy
@Darbysmommy 3 года назад
So refreshing to watch Stephen’s interview with President Obama. Oh to hear a President speak in full sentences..... music to my ears
@tmseh
@tmseh 3 года назад
You mean President "3 Points Baby!"?
@Marijuanifornia
@Marijuanifornia 3 года назад
When humanity's standards are in free-fall, Obama seems like a great leader. It doesn't change the fact that he took a Nobel peace prize and then massacred thousands of civilians with indiscriminate drone strikes, thus ensuring that climate change continues to worsen.
@catmoon2009
@catmoon2009 3 года назад
Oh so lovely saidEv&J
@mimimine1324
@mimimine1324 3 года назад
And to actually BE and SOUND like a real adult, and not a gigantic whiny toddler who is only an adult chronologically.
@tmseh
@tmseh 3 года назад
@@Marijuanifornia Then again we have the Mango Mussolini shrugging off close to 300k dead Americans in 9 months.
@TheNerdyFosterMom
@TheNerdyFosterMom 3 года назад
I love how Stephen refuses to use the President's name
@danielj2591
@danielj2591 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-SrK_Bk4I2ro.html
@neilsfuentes7073
@neilsfuentes7073 3 года назад
I love how Stephen refuses to use the President's name
@claykress2559
@claykress2559 3 года назад
Not a single “2001: A Space Odyssey” reference? Seriously?
@seileach67
@seileach67 3 года назад
The music they used sounded like the 2001 theme though.
@fred4089
@fred4089 3 года назад
Open the pod bay doors Hal. Hal?
@leiram8833
@leiram8833 3 года назад
@@fred4089 I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
@Doctorwho1094
@Doctorwho1094 3 года назад
In the intro there was.
@blackc1479
@blackc1479 3 года назад
I was SOOOOOO disappointed that none of the rangers had that playing on their phone
@JackSparrow-gn9be
@JackSparrow-gn9be 3 года назад
Trump's presidential daily briefing: Person, woman, man, camera, TV.
@patriciahayes7315
@patriciahayes7315 3 года назад
(chuckles) They'll put that on his grave marker. XD
@iansampson2477
@iansampson2477 3 года назад
Bonus points for getting it in the right order after all this time.
@davelee2876
@davelee2876 3 года назад
... 4th wife, 5th wife. 😂
@joeyeddy9344
@joeyeddy9344 3 года назад
Obama's daily briefing: "Mirror mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of them all"
@susanrobinson910
@susanrobinson910 3 года назад
Tremendous 😂😂
@TheDuckMaster12
@TheDuckMaster12 3 года назад
“I AM MONOLITH!!!” -Vin Diesel, Untitled Monolith Movie, 2021
@richardalderman1324
@richardalderman1324 3 года назад
Costarring Dwayne "the rock" Johnson.
@cyny6305
@cyny6305 3 года назад
I'm 100% here for that.
@kenwoodmn3921
@kenwoodmn3921 3 года назад
"You're lucky that double shot of NAS didn't blow the rivets on the intake!"
@MHLegacy
@MHLegacy 3 года назад
He could probably just do the sound of a deep, foreboding hum every time the camera cuts to the monolith. That would seem to be pretty in character of the monolith. Oh, and at the end of the movie, he could say "WE are monolith" at a barbecue picnic, because, you know...family. The monolith is all about family.
@vonigner
@vonigner 3 года назад
It's not a monolith because it's not made of STONE.
@brucefreadrich1188
@brucefreadrich1188 3 года назад
Hardly a plinth either…
@Scatty666
@Scatty666 3 года назад
It’s full of stars
@Daren_PNW
@Daren_PNW 3 года назад
It's actually an Intel server from 1976 that Area 51 decided was faulty and just stuck it out in the middle of nowhere for kicks.
@henrygustavekrausse7459
@henrygustavekrausse7459 3 года назад
@@brucefreadrich1188 they had planth for a plinth but it was inpracticably plinplanplinthible
@SamAtScareworks
@SamAtScareworks 3 года назад
Trump is so irrelevant now Stephen won't even spell out his name. "T****" So subtle, so satisfying
@pimianimavdo1523
@pimianimavdo1523 3 года назад
Sam Ashkenazy -- i usually call him trump ( all in n caps since he does not deserve any sings of respect) or tRump (or t-rump) or simply LSOC (since not telling the truth is his second favorite thing, stroking his lame ego being the first thing on his list of priorities). In the words of little orange crybaby: sad. ;)
@DJMontePGH
@DJMontePGH 3 года назад
This is funny: if he is so irrelevant, then why do you guys still feel the need to make dumb jokes about him? Still a better president and did more in 4 years then Obama. I can't wait until this blows up your faces.
@TheEternalSpiral
@TheEternalSpiral 3 года назад
@@pimianimavdo1523, I tend to refer to him as The Cheeto. Other names I've used are t-Rumples, t-Rumpus, Cheeto-n-Chief, etc.
@sarahsnowe
@sarahsnowe 3 года назад
@@DJMontePGH Are you still on the Russian payroll or something? Lost cause. (By the way, research the difference between "then" and "than." And you mean "blows up IN your faces." If you're going to pretend to be American, try to get your idioms right.)
@SilortheBlade
@SilortheBlade 3 года назад
call him don trump. He really hates it. Watch his reaction when someone calls him don. It's hilarious.
@lucasvillanueva1541
@lucasvillanueva1541 3 года назад
I love that Sephen is treating his name like a swear word. Best censorship on cable TV.
@rebecca8525
@rebecca8525 3 года назад
CBS is network, not cable.
@cassandrabolstridge3961
@cassandrabolstridge3961 3 года назад
I'm pretty sure he's doing it because Trump copyrighted his name, so the network has to pay a small fee everytime they print his name. I could be wrong though. I love it either way.
@RasMerkabah
@RasMerkabah 3 года назад
@@rebecca8525 See what he means? It has been censored right off cable.
@rebecca8525
@rebecca8525 3 года назад
@@RasMerkabah That makes no sense. You do know the difference between major network TV and cable TV, don't you?
@emilyc8262
@emilyc8262 3 года назад
@@cassandrabolstridge3961 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-SbPgwEIIjTQ.html
@naviergnat5340
@naviergnat5340 3 года назад
"Ok we reached earth but bad news guys..we lost all the Fedridium" "Its cool just use human made rivets"
@emilyc8262
@emilyc8262 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-SbPgwEIIjTQ.html
@FylianGray
@FylianGray 3 года назад
A little disappointed you didn't go with "Monolithologue". It's so fun to say 😊
@howardkerr8174
@howardkerr8174 3 года назад
Funny, I was going to say " Lith-o-logue " but that sort of sounds dirty. Mormonolith ? Yeah, I like that. Excellent.
@marcorodrigues8303
@marcorodrigues8303 3 года назад
Povo eu estou com vocês se tudo isso eu busquei e exclarece a todos .do que ele vem armando . não só contra mim . diretamente em me Atingir este Demônio 👺 só tem bosta na cabeça dele . Tentou desde que entrou no governo . Eu bloqueio o disparo .dele com aquela bomba .
@morrismom04
@morrismom04 3 года назад
Awesome
@gustofgood4257
@gustofgood4257 3 года назад
Who had alien invasion for November? Getting close to a 2020 bingo
@portialalchan7002
@portialalchan7002 3 года назад
🤣
@auntiefan4202
@auntiefan4202 3 года назад
Me!!!!
@saparisrael2422
@saparisrael2422 3 года назад
HOLD YOUR HORSE; ITS ACTUALLY DECEMBER 2 Esdras 6:9 “For Esau is the end of the world, and Jacob is the beginning of it that followeth
@worm3165
@worm3165 3 года назад
@@saparisrael2422 HOLD YOUR VERSES; ITS ACTUALLY NEVER COMING
@clyde9146
@clyde9146 3 года назад
I had it for October, but close enough
@verenamichel2447
@verenamichel2447 3 года назад
"Monoloth, as some are calling it." - best Trump impression in 4 years 🤣
@oneeeclickk9208
@oneeeclickk9208 3 года назад
Isn't 2020 so crazy that a Monolith's sudden appearance doesn't even make us flinch.
@smiller2044
@smiller2044 3 года назад
@@oneeeclickk9208 I want to believe made same post. . .
@SplendidFellow
@SplendidFellow 3 года назад
"Alleged attorney and pagan priest summoning the Norse god of Dentistry, Rudy Giuliani." 🤣😂🤣😭😭 I literally cried laughing
@mireyabogisich2274
@mireyabogisich2274 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-00nkS-nEFaA.html 1
@lydiaann4490
@lydiaann4490 3 года назад
@S. M. Henderson That was absolutely amazing, how are you doing and hope to hear from you?
@SplendidFellow
@SplendidFellow 3 года назад
lydia Ann ...what?
@prettylushed
@prettylushed 3 года назад
Best part of my night is watching these monologues
@johannageisel5390
@johannageisel5390 3 года назад
Yeah, it's clear: The bighorn sheep erected this thing to communicate with us.
@philcarpenter242
@philcarpenter242 3 года назад
They're saying . . . "Stop buzzing us with helicopters"
@emeraldtabbycat148
@emeraldtabbycat148 3 года назад
@@philcarpenter242 BAAAAAAAAAAA (Translation: "You know nothing of our intentions, human".)
@kylekennedy3299
@kylekennedy3299 3 года назад
Their message: “Don’t assume our gender from the air,”
@9CosmicDancer9
@9CosmicDancer9 3 года назад
I would pay money to watch Chris Pine play a rugged, distant yet kind metallurgist against Zendaya as a young geologist investigating a monolith in the desert
@Carewolf
@Carewolf 3 года назад
But the Monolith should obviously be played by The Rock.
@crazycutz8072
@crazycutz8072 3 года назад
That movie would have that jurassic Park /Indiana Jones vibe
@Mmothership68
@Mmothership68 3 года назад
Good money for that
@DerpDevilDD
@DerpDevilDD 3 года назад
Eh, I grew out of the whole 40s dude dates early 20s girl thing.
@anaalcaraz15
@anaalcaraz15 3 года назад
@@DerpDevilDD well it doesnt have to be a love story
@TheMysticR
@TheMysticR 3 года назад
Find someone who adores you the way Stephen adores Obama 😍
@mikerada2773
@mikerada2773 3 года назад
I’d rather someone actually like me for me rather than acting like a sycophant
@mariposa9506
@mariposa9506 3 года назад
🤣
@大隣豊
@大隣豊 3 года назад
"Ok we reached earth but bad news guys..we lost all the Fedridium" "Its cool just use human made rivets"
@johnlee7164
@johnlee7164 3 года назад
"we fly pretty low for these surveys so we can identity the gender of the sheep." Sometimes, the jokes write themselves.
@glenchapman3899
@glenchapman3899 3 года назад
Not to spoil such an obvious funny joke. But you can tell the girls from the boys by the shape of their horns
@gkarenko9593
@gkarenko9593 3 года назад
@@glenchapman3899 Is that what the kids are calling them these days?
@agentoregon7212
@agentoregon7212 3 года назад
@@glenchapman3899 i think the fact that sheep's balls are proportionally quite large helps too
@glenchapman3899
@glenchapman3899 3 года назад
@@agentoregon7212 Yeah I am just having trouble seeing a chopper get that low lol
@dielaughing73
@dielaughing73 3 года назад
Sex*
@ursaltydog
@ursaltydog 3 года назад
How can a president legally pardon someone he was involved with in the crimes to begin with... lawwdd.. it never ends..
@hhiippiittyy
@hhiippiittyy 3 года назад
Presidential pardons are stupid. WTF is the point? Has a worthy person ever been pardoned, because all I can think of is legit crooks.
@kippie80
@kippie80 3 года назад
He can't. it won't stick.
@Hansengineering
@Hansengineering 3 года назад
@@hhiippiittyy I would say Chelsea Manning, but she obviously didn't value the gesture, because she didn't abide by the terms and was sent back to prison.
@ursaltydog
@ursaltydog 3 года назад
@@hhiippiittyy Pretty much... except those minorities wrongfully convicted based upon flimsy evidence and contrary genetic testing these days.
@ursaltydog
@ursaltydog 3 года назад
@Willard Garland Yep... it's kinda like here in the south, "Hold my beer"... except the President says: "Hold my water... seriously.. someone hold my water.. My hands aren't big enough"...
@MySkydawg
@MySkydawg 3 года назад
“Nick Street’s brother-in-law Ford Prefect could not be found for comment...” 😂
@danrion5880
@danrion5880 3 года назад
It's refreshing no one is talking about Trump. It's like he is Irrelevant.
@garfield685
@garfield685 3 года назад
He is
@danielj2591
@danielj2591 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-SrK_Bk4I2ro.html
@denisemartel3352
@denisemartel3352 3 года назад
Coming soon in no theatre at all . THE IRRELEVANT TRUMP.
@tjjames9846
@tjjames9846 3 года назад
Well, you’re talking about him. Way to go.
@Ereaes
@Ereaes 3 года назад
Trump who? Idk about that....
@mitchzurbrigg2403
@mitchzurbrigg2403 3 года назад
I'm glad you refer to him now as T****, like he who shall not be named: _voldemort_
@hubb3498
@hubb3498 3 года назад
They call him the 45 as to not invoke his name, it may cause TDS to all nearby democrats.
@andrewkohler3707
@andrewkohler3707 3 года назад
I find asterisking out letters extremely annoying and, to paraphrase George Carlin, part of America's tendency to hide from language due to our inability to cope with reality. But...it's fantastically shady to do that to our attention-grubbing septuagenarian toddler of a president, so I'll allow it. ;-)
@Onlyitsmereid
@Onlyitsmereid 3 года назад
Yeah he said if Trump refuses to concede he’ll refuse to acknowledge him
@andrewkohler3707
@andrewkohler3707 3 года назад
@@Onlyitsmereid I wish he'd kept up butchering the name, like "Ronald Clump" (end of his monologue here: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-Bb8BYOjzGiQ.html )
@andrewkohler3707
@andrewkohler3707 3 года назад
@@hubb3498 The only Trump Derangement Syndrome that exists is the derangement in Trump's own mind.
@bobbyrain8453
@bobbyrain8453 3 года назад
"To give a list of national security threats to a president that's not on it." That was funny.
@chungweiwang3199
@chungweiwang3199 3 года назад
Isn't 2020 so crazy that a Monolith's sudden appearance doesn't even make us flinch.
@amelie3265
@amelie3265 3 года назад
Stephen casually teasing us with a competent president interview is so hot
@mireyabogisich2274
@mireyabogisich2274 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-00nkS-nEFaA.html 1
@emilyc8262
@emilyc8262 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-OJCjQ3loO34.html
@keepitsteel1993
@keepitsteel1993 3 года назад
"Ok we reached earth but bad news guys..we lost all the Fedridium" "Its cool just use human made rivets"
@kenwoodmn3921
@kenwoodmn3921 3 года назад
Don't want to sound like a noob here but can someone explain how to tell the difference between human-made rivets and alien-made rivets? Thanks!
@michaelo5665
@michaelo5665 3 года назад
By the amount of phlebotinum
@dylangrounds9723
@dylangrounds9723 3 года назад
@@michaelo5665 That made me laugh way too hard. thank you
@michaelo5665
@michaelo5665 3 года назад
Really hating on chrome right now. Just going to leave it at that...😅
@teresah268
@teresah268 3 года назад
Omg i laughed so hard at this!🤣
@illssolution5720
@illssolution5720 3 года назад
RE: Flynn... it ain't over 'til Judge Sullivan says it's over with Flynn...
@margarethurley1067
@margarethurley1067 3 года назад
I love that Sephen is treating his name like a swear word. Best censorship on cable TV.
@dannyrobert1382
@dannyrobert1382 3 года назад
It's broadcast tv
@danielj2591
@danielj2591 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-SrK_Bk4I2ro.html 1
@Tuturial464
@Tuturial464 3 года назад
He only said Trumps name once when he called Trump Lawyer and Phantom of the Sex Opera Rudy Guiliani in a past segment
@emmastyers9278
@emmastyers9278 3 года назад
stephen: “hello friends” me:🥰🥰
@prudenceshelton9262
@prudenceshelton9262 3 года назад
Trump's presidential daily briefing: Person, woman, man, camera, TV.
@YaNevrNo
@YaNevrNo 3 года назад
🤗
@lizardog
@lizardog 3 года назад
@Dead Republic 2020 have your nose checked. The rotten smell started in mid-2015, when the Trump "campaign" was in full swing.
@priscillaann883
@priscillaann883 3 года назад
It’s sad to see how brainwashed so many Americans still are by puppets like Colberg. He doesn’t give a crap about our country just like the rest of these loser entertainers; he does what he is told by his handlers which is to hate Trump and undermine him at all costs bc trump couldn’t be bought out by corporate America and foreign countries.
@AlexFarleyMusic
@AlexFarleyMusic 3 года назад
The fact that you get happy feelings from someone on TV reading a script is really indicative of the current state of society.
@burialbike1328
@burialbike1328 3 года назад
That “script” looks like the “affidavits” that Macenany held up on Fox News! Hahahaha
@jackdenmark6116
@jackdenmark6116 3 года назад
Trump's presidential daily briefing: Person, woman, man, camera, TV.
@nataleeegleston1334
@nataleeegleston1334 3 года назад
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@h3llrazah420
@h3llrazah420 3 года назад
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@andreasperling7767
@andreasperling7767 3 года назад
@@nataleeegleston1334 Zezinho
@clasbin77
@clasbin77 3 года назад
what, no rack?!!
@joelperez9252
@joelperez9252 3 года назад
ಠ‿ಠ
@MsGrapeNehi
@MsGrapeNehi 3 года назад
“If you can’t sleep, count sheep. Do not count endangered animals. You will run out.” - Mitch Hedberg
@getpumped87
@getpumped87 3 года назад
RIP to the king of one liners
@poorthing
@poorthing 3 года назад
Keeping Donnie jr away from endangered species would help.
@tokohkoa
@tokohkoa 3 года назад
@@getpumped87 a
@tokohkoa
@tokohkoa 3 года назад
@@getpumped87 o oil u 00 00l ll mmm mmm lunchh oouiwo0
@tokohkoa
@tokohkoa 3 года назад
ement from the Biden
@ep411
@ep411 3 года назад
That “script” looks like the “affidavits” that Macenany held up on Fox News! Hahahaha
@iamzid
@iamzid 3 года назад
the idea that it was is about as credible as well.
@TheReySkywalker
@TheReySkywalker 3 года назад
I love hearing his son and wife laugh in the background
@madmohawk6560
@madmohawk6560 3 года назад
Wait this is the first time I'm learning about him pardoning a LITERAL TRAITOR WHAT?!?!?
@TheNinnyfee
@TheNinnyfee 3 года назад
You are still surprised after he betrayed the U.S. himself for four years? He is forming a circle with guys like himself.
@eavyeavy2864
@eavyeavy2864 3 года назад
Hoping for Snowden Assange pardon
@Shasha-yg1mm
@Shasha-yg1mm 3 года назад
The criminal henchmen he has pardoned are probably all Russian agents posing as Americans.
@NO-lt3mx
@NO-lt3mx 3 года назад
It is a shame, isn’t it? White guys letting white guys do what they want
@jemiebridges3197
@jemiebridges3197 3 года назад
Wait does that mean you missed the pardon for the navy guy who reveal photos of the top secret parts of a nuclear ship?
@uthmanbaksh3530
@uthmanbaksh3530 3 года назад
One of the things bringing me joy this year is the fact we all can laugh at Rudy Guliani because of how batshit crazy he is. But us New Yorkers been knew that!
@waltblackadar4690
@waltblackadar4690 3 года назад
You guys have GOT to put together all the "Road From the White House" intros into one long video. It's a moral imperative.
@DuchessofEarlGrey
@DuchessofEarlGrey 3 года назад
Your profile pic made me think there was a hair on my screen.
@eco2geek.
@eco2geek. 3 года назад
And he didn't say the word "t - r - u - m - p" even once.
@NittyGritty420
@NittyGritty420 3 года назад
Why does it even matter if he says his name or not... he still talks about him constantly.
@tyler2401
@tyler2401 3 года назад
@@NittyGritty420 T*** is a narcissist not saying his name makes him angry.
@MandleRoss
@MandleRoss 3 года назад
I believe he promised that he will never say his name ever again.
@eco2geek.
@eco2geek. 3 года назад
@@MandleRoss That makes sense. He must have promised never to do his trump impression again, either.
@michaelschweigart3517
@michaelschweigart3517 3 года назад
It's a "He who shall not be named" scenario
@greglialios5673
@greglialios5673 3 года назад
Trump is so irrelevant now Stephen won't even spell out his name. "T****" So subtle, so satisfying
@kellym9190
@kellym9190 3 года назад
He’s been doing that for a week, it feels like we’re all on a slow, healing, T-word detox 🙏🏻
@HolowatyVlogs
@HolowatyVlogs 3 года назад
Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick would be proud.
@pinstripepride5490
@pinstripepride5490 3 года назад
The Monolith... Q-anon... Trump... Coincidence?
@annahappen7036
@annahappen7036 3 года назад
@@pinstripepride5490 🙄 The Monolith. Go watch A Space Oddessey 200.
@pinstripepride5490
@pinstripepride5490 3 года назад
@@annahappen7036 My all-time favorite sci-fi movie.
@mixtlillness9825
@mixtlillness9825 3 года назад
And now we wait for Moon Watcher to arrive.
@christophloewen174
@christophloewen174 3 года назад
Flynn, who can put the finger on Trump in an indictment, gets pardoned by lame duck with COVID, monolith appears in the desert, it's 2020! Who had THAT on their Bingo card???
@maartenvandam344
@maartenvandam344 3 года назад
I work in a hardware store, and recently an odd looking fellow bought some stainless steel plates, a circular saw, a drill and a box of rivets. Signed his bill with the name Lamppost Dogpissing. There's definitely something going on.
@saltandprepper5024
@saltandprepper5024 3 года назад
I am one of the proud Pennsylvanians who put the nail in the trump administration coffin
@braxtongreenwell5482
@braxtongreenwell5482 3 года назад
Thank you. I'm not joking. I mean it with all my heart, thank you.
@mikerada2773
@mikerada2773 3 года назад
Say goodbye to the economy and all the jobs that came back that supposedly would never come back.
@saltandprepper5024
@saltandprepper5024 3 года назад
Trumps admin saw continued trajectory we saw under Obama. 4 more years and we would see terrible shit he brought. we still will and republicans will blame Biden for trumps failings
@liesamanneh3163
@liesamanneh3163 3 года назад
Thank you salt and pre ,you did the right thing
@missg.5940
@missg.5940 3 года назад
👏👏👏👏👏👏🤗🤗🤗😷🇨🇦🇺🇸
@WhisperingNostrils
@WhisperingNostrils 3 года назад
Is his wife not in the studio with him anymore? I liked hearing her laugh.
@Ponch316
@Ponch316 3 года назад
All I wish for in life is someone to laugh at my jokes like Evie does!
@barbaracataldo566
@barbaracataldo566 3 года назад
She was laughing. You can (barely) hear her.
@michaelschweigart3517
@michaelschweigart3517 3 года назад
She was there and laughing. Some more apparent than others
@kassandrafowley7051
@kassandrafowley7051 3 года назад
Mr. Colbert, I am wishing you, your family, & staff a beautiful, blessed, Happy Thanksgiving.
@TwoAtTheTable
@TwoAtTheTable 3 года назад
I think y’all forgot it’s 2020 LEAVE THE MONOLITH ALONE!
@thisistheaccountname
@thisistheaccountname 3 года назад
Everyone has been quite civil by calling Trump "president", these past four years.
@DGARedRaven
@DGARedRaven 3 года назад
'president' is a title earned, by its very definition. I am glad some people are starting to figure it out now.
@sharonolsen6579
@sharonolsen6579 3 года назад
I have called him many things... "president" was NEVER one of them...
@thisistheaccountname
@thisistheaccountname 3 года назад
@Joseph Norm As far as I'm concerned Obama is still my president. He only did two things that I didn't like during his presidency. One, he said his bowling was like the Special Olympics. And the other he made health insurance mandatory and fined them if they didn't. Trump, I don't have time to list everything.
@garfield685
@garfield685 3 года назад
Not me
@Supatrashcomikz
@Supatrashcomikz 3 года назад
Is that democracy but.......your way?
@EEhellandback
@EEhellandback 3 года назад
If you first find a metal piece of something in the middle of the desert.... Shouldn't you apply a geiger counter to it before crawling all over it? Plus it might be important to note how close something is to a munitions disposal site.
@iamelectric30
@iamelectric30 3 года назад
Apparently the wannabe despot's a big fan of the "get out of jail free" card; January 20th can't come soon enough.
@tmseh
@tmseh 3 года назад
Accepting the pardon means Ret. General Flynn is a convicted felon now. Does he still receive his pension as a felon?
@seanomanary5691
@seanomanary5691 3 года назад
@@tmseh still gonna get exonerated. ..pardon was to lift the mussel. .shits gonna hit the fan...to answer ur question yes
@tmseh
@tmseh 3 года назад
@@seanomanary5691 Once you accept a Presidential pardon you accept guilt of the crime excused by the pardon. Sheriff Joe Aripio found that out the hard way when Trump pardoned him.
@defiante1
@defiante1 3 года назад
@@seanomanary5691 Accepting a pardon is the same as admitting further guilt. You cannot be pardoned for something you didn't do, to be pardoned you have to be guilty so accepting it is considered in the eyes of the law, the same as a guilty plea.
@captianjolly
@captianjolly 3 года назад
@@tmseh Yes, but now he can be compelled to testify in any future trials. 5th Amendment doesn't apply, you cannot incriminate yourself if you have been pardoned. However, you can be found in contempt, and held accountable for false testimony. Not that Biden is going to set the precedent of holding past administrations accountable. That's a professional courtesy he isn't willing to cross. After all, he and his family/party won't always be in power.
@GR46404
@GR46404 3 года назад
Legally, accepting a pardon means admitting you are guilty. Thanks, Flynn!
@Tina-qp7py
@Tina-qp7py 3 года назад
But he won't turn it down
@GR46404
@GR46404 3 года назад
Oh god no. But he'll lie about his guilt until the end of his life.
@neatznotso7424
@neatznotso7424 3 года назад
Hadn't he already pleaded guilty?
@DillonThaVillon
@DillonThaVillon 3 года назад
Hey Stephen. Can you add video clips of the guy that keeps laughing in the background, please? Seeing his face would add so much joy to the world...
@Opus313
@Opus313 3 года назад
Have a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving!
@andydporter5136
@andydporter5136 3 года назад
How is Flynn still a 'General'? Shouldn't he be stripped of this rank, even if it's only an honorific?
@srkh8966
@srkh8966 3 года назад
@Rah Abbi Heart El You can only pardon guilty people, so I don’t know if he’s actually a general anymore or not.
@angelnixxa278
@angelnixxa278 3 года назад
Trump leaving: " we're off to see the wizard ....." " taxi! Drive me to Europe.".
@srkh8966
@srkh8966 3 года назад
@Rah Abbi Heart El I have no idea. But, you can only pardon the convicted.
@rodnoble1269
@rodnoble1269 3 года назад
@DM Tea hey it’s a habit...
@adadrer784
@adadrer784 3 года назад
"To give a security briefing to a President, who is not on the security brief". LMAO
@roberrplatt4214
@roberrplatt4214 3 года назад
LIBRUL LIES! Biden is in the pocket of Ray Ban. Or rather there are Ray Bans in his pocket I forget
@jonjoe1532
@jonjoe1532 3 года назад
Such surprise about being able to tell sheep's gender from a helicopter: male sheep also known as rams do in fact have big horns.
@Superstorm50
@Superstorm50 3 года назад
I’m willing to bet that Stephen has actually started to write out a script for a sci-fi movie considering how big of a sci-fi geek he is 😂
@lindseyariegel7703
@lindseyariegel7703 3 года назад
I wholeheartedly believe it. it's why he's one of my nerd crushes. sorry Eve 💖
@xhagast
@xhagast 3 года назад
Writes itself, honest.
@emmaringer5682
@emmaringer5682 3 года назад
I kind of want to see that movie
@JohnSmith-vc3wj
@JohnSmith-vc3wj 3 года назад
Can we just stop for a second and appreciate the phrase "Huffing Stuffing?" That may or not accurately describe what goes on at my family Thanksgiving on any normal year.
@TheReal008Zulu
@TheReal008Zulu 3 года назад
Planet Earth: Hey come on now, we all get piercings in weird places when we we're younger. Don't judge me.
@xelasomar4614
@xelasomar4614 3 года назад
Wait until they find the lint.
@sanSDI
@sanSDI 3 года назад
😂😂🤣
@lesleyedgley8371
@lesleyedgley8371 3 года назад
Ha! Nice one!
@MSNIMMRTLS
@MSNIMMRTLS 3 года назад
WOW!! Good 1! Just wondering how much astroglide it will take to get those chasm walls well lubed!!
@karlotto866
@karlotto866 3 года назад
Okay, that anouncement of the mono-logue nailed it
@yurielcundangan9090
@yurielcundangan9090 3 года назад
Colbert: "Inevitably hits 8 SHOTS a ROW" Obama: "I lost swag, on you Stephen"
@benwillems8584
@benwillems8584 3 года назад
*insert Barack as the Genie after the chess game* "I can't believe it, I'm losing to a white boy."
@maximeprometheas
@maximeprometheas 3 года назад
It's what he does! ;)
@awonoto
@awonoto 3 года назад
Missed opportunity for a joke: I demand a recount!
@vonschlesien
@vonschlesien 3 года назад
"Fun" fact! From historical satellite imagery, the monolith showed up sometime around 2015 or 2016. Convenient timing.
@msc2u1
@msc2u1 3 года назад
It must have had a timer to go off in 2020. That would explain everything‼️
@fixtureorbit1825
@fixtureorbit1825 3 года назад
"To give a list of national security threats to a president that's not on it." That was funny.
@FictusFilmsPROTrailers
@FictusFilmsPROTrailers 3 года назад
Was it Orange? Might just be a cheeto Any Bond fans here? A new trailer just dropped and has me SHOOK: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-gJJw08-15vE.html
@tvTwo1
@tvTwo1 3 года назад
update : some says it's leftover set prop from Westworld, which at that period there....does their filming within the region. but after i scouring the whole of season 1, i didn't see this "monolith" in any scenes
@jordinagel1184
@jordinagel1184 3 года назад
@@tvTwo1 could’ve been an unused scene, who knows
@erikschaepers
@erikschaepers 3 года назад
So good to see the old routines coming back, @StephenColbert ! it was like...20 minutes ..twenty minutes? Twenty minutes! Now, we also need the piano sounds for putting objects aside on the right and on the left . Make the Late Show Great Again ! MLSGA!
@missmiou6273
@missmiou6273 3 года назад
send part of the interview to trump just for the hell of it hahahahaha
@tomb3782
@tomb3782 3 года назад
we've started calling it "Thanos Giving" this year.
@mollymelon2262
@mollymelon2262 3 года назад
"The Rise of the Monolith": streaming to Netflix in 2021
@sabrinamgd4158
@sabrinamgd4158 3 года назад
"to pardon": an occasion when someone who has COMMITTED A CRIME is officially forgiven". Thank you Trump for clearing that up, I'm sure we'll see a lot of that in the weeks to come
@lindapryor5899
@lindapryor5899 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tumRuBevNKM.html
@TurbidTG1
@TurbidTG1 3 года назад
To everyone who is celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow, be smart, keep it small, socially distanced, and wear a mask when not eating, please. - Peace and love, Turbid.
@Tht1Gy
@Tht1Gy 3 года назад
Occam's Razor is the concept that if you don't NEED aliens or zombies to explain something, you should hold off on including them, for now. Later, if further investigation finds extraterrestrial components.... Lol
@AwkwrdPrtMskrt
@AwkwrdPrtMskrt 3 года назад
Txxxx's loss is *THE WILL OF THE MONOLITH*
@spyderthegamer6485
@spyderthegamer6485 3 года назад
"Oh, my bones are liquid now." I laughed so hard at that one.
@lindatran3425
@lindatran3425 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-e_gBmp8nbzk.html
@FakeSchrodingersCat
@FakeSchrodingersCat 3 года назад
Plexiglass between the kitchen stations and lids on glasses don't really protect you from the staff spitting in your food.
@normannoury4934
@normannoury4934 3 года назад
The monolith is actually the message from "way out yonder" to tell Trump to leave now!
@l.a.gothro3999
@l.a.gothro3999 3 года назад
With all the shenanigans and goings-on this past year, I think folks have gotten kinda jaded.
@mosieromano2381
@mosieromano2381 3 года назад
Can we just stop for a second and appreciate the phrase "Huffing Stuffing?" That may or not accurately describe what goes on at my family Thanksgiving on any normal year.
@hermioneleroux6245
@hermioneleroux6245 3 года назад
Colbert: "The monolith will be played by Vin Diesel." Vin Diesel: "I am Monolith." Apologies if someone beat me to it.
@eclipsefx
@eclipsefx 3 года назад
Or: "Scientist Zendaya, what do the readings on the monolith-reading instrument say?" - "It's hard to make out some parts, but it keeps broadcasting 'F-A-M-I-L-Y' over & over."
@lemurgolem
@lemurgolem 3 года назад
The funniest thing about this non-story is that the object they found isn't even a monolith (which would be some *stone* block) but rather a metal stele.
@lemurgolem
@lemurgolem 3 года назад
And moreover, it was "put together with ... RIVETS", so it was not even "mono-*". That's how "semantiphobe" contemporary American English has become. Frickin' sad, and hilarious, of course...
@mixtlillness9825
@mixtlillness9825 3 года назад
@@lemurgolem Well, a lot of Americans don’t know how to English. 😁
@RayasNegroOvejas
@RayasNegroOvejas 3 года назад
@@mixtlillness9825 english isn't my first language, but one excuse is that "lith" is from "stone" in ancient greek (so if anything it shows the focus on english alone… ;)
@RayasNegroOvejas
@RayasNegroOvejas 3 года назад
…maybe the metal covers the stone
@ThatFeelBr0
@ThatFeelBr0 3 года назад
Google maps images have shown that the monolith has been there since October of 2016, but images from 2015 and 2013 have no sign of the object. So the sheep counters missed it for at least 4 years.
@JenMistress
@JenMistress 3 года назад
Damn, aliens running late. They were supposed to drop that off in 2001. HAL, can you believe that galaxy delivery service, I swear?
@moosepocalypse6500
@moosepocalypse6500 3 года назад
Referring to them as "human-made rivets"?... That's pretty sus.
@Pink_143_6
@Pink_143_6 3 года назад
Lol. I love Colbert 💜! Colbert 2121 🇺🇸
@Tenly2009
@Tenly2009 3 года назад
Human-made rivets are some of the finest rivets in the galaxy!
@D-Terminat0r
@D-Terminat0r 3 года назад
I disagree, none of the Star Trek ships show rivets cause they all know rivets suck donkey ass all day every day (not litteraly )
@gavinresendiz1025
@gavinresendiz1025 3 года назад
“welcome to a late show I’m your host Stephen Colbert” me:🥰
@IMArtisanX
@IMArtisanX 3 года назад
You got me at "Eye-RACK!" That's a two-pointer you made there!
@everythingiseverything9920
@everythingiseverything9920 3 года назад
"It was the will of The Monolith." (lololol!!!) I need somebody to go set up a 24/7 Monolith livestream.
@whiteowl4097
@whiteowl4097 3 года назад
Giuliani looks like what happens when someone yells "Release The Kraken".
@danielj2591
@danielj2591 3 года назад
ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-SrK_Bk4I2ro.html
@markmac2206
@markmac2206 3 года назад
or crackhead.
@poutygorilla2698
@poutygorilla2698 3 года назад
He isn't the AntiChrist but he is a drunkard of biblical proportion!
@willowmoon5063
@willowmoon5063 3 года назад
I just spit my coffee out. Lmao 😂 Happy Thanksgiving to you.
@tlak
@tlak 3 года назад
The monolith disappeared and another one appeared in another country, but it was so badly made that the welds had holes and burn marks
@iamelectric30
@iamelectric30 3 года назад
As a native Utahn, I can only say it's about time we start to evolve.
@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980
@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 3 года назад
ROTFLMAO! As someone who used to live there I agree! 🤣 Eat, Drink & Be Merry. Because Tomorrow You May Live In Utah! 🍻 Did you ever hear the joke about civilisation finally coming to Utah because they hosted the 2002 Winter Olympics? It went: Thank God Utah got the Olympics now the 20th century will finally reach them. The fact that it's currently the 21st century is a little unfortunate - but hay progresses is still progress!
@lauragn4300
@lauragn4300 3 года назад
@Old Man Duff I am a transplant to Utah. Would it be such a stretch to say that some nature-loving environmentalist put their garbage in this obvious garbage can to retain the pristine cleanliness of the desert? Makes sense to me 😷
@lauragn4300
@lauragn4300 3 года назад
@Casual Kat Gamer that one is hard to call. 6 of one half a dozen of the other...
@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980
@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 3 года назад
@@lauragn4300 Nope I'm calling it embarrassment is the correct answer here.
@lauragn4300
@lauragn4300 3 года назад
@@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 lol
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