@Annette Key no. I got diariah. Deez Buffalo wingz is ripping my booty open. I'm Botta blow my guts all over the place. Botta bust a bag, son. Stomach is too sensitive deez dayz
I tried the blended family thing and it ruined my life and leave everyone unhappy,I view all 5 as my children ,I never identified any of them as step children, that created grudge and bad feelings, the wholeness I fought so hard for fell apart quickly partly because there was a lot of back stabbing from the people who were suppose to have my back and help me make it happen
Did the ones who were "supposed to have your back" have any issues with the new partner or the new family at any time? Is there a chance that they might've felt you havent *their* backs?
Alice s i totally agree, as long as your married to a woman that will tale care of “her kids” financially, emontionally, and time consuming wise.... these relationships will work fine
Nobody considers that when you divorce it's like throwing a grenade into the child's life. Then when either or both parents remarry it's another grenade. The child gets no say in the situation at all. The parent says this is my new wife/husband. These are your new siblings. I love them and that's all that matters. Nobody cares if the child loves the new family, new rules, new parent, new siblings.
Not trying to be mean but don’t put your own feelings like that’s how it is for everybody cause I know other people that has had a family that remarried and they had a happy life so there’s not always a damn case so stop running your mouth about some that might’ve happened to you I had a stepfather and I was better than my real father. Did you know Mr. parents take care of his even after the divorce to because he’s been case of them divorcing and they still considered. Their kids still are kids and I still see them this case of that too. Do you research don’t go there and run your mouth or criticize things and you know what you know the kid don’t have a say to that or 18 anyway, so yeah I do agree with that he does not have a say to the 18 so what should a long as the person is not hurting their child because it’s hard to get a kid like them but again, don’t put your own feelings out there like cause lotta cases where it works out I mean what’s the difference between people divorcing that actually have the kids together that happens to there’s no different so don’t put your damn feelings out there like it’s like that for everybody it’s not again I have a stepdad and to me he’s my father my real father wasn’t in my life my real father didn’t wanna be part of my life. Sometimes I have a stew and I have a sub dad that actually took care of me. I was always there for me now I get that some who are not as luckier and yeah you’re right sometimes it does happen not all the time and that’s what you take, and for the most part yeah most people that remember they usually get to let them get to know their kids before they even remarried and they’re our parents also, they do talk to the kids before they remarry been in the day. No the kids don’t have a say because they have a say anything else it’s really pathetic do you think a child should have a say when they’re the fucking kid now I think the day long as the parent to child first and long as the other person is trying respect but you know how hard is it for some stepparents sometimes kids don’t like them for dumb reasons, but again don’t put your own experience on somebody else because sometimes it actually does work out. Actually a lot of times are worth a lot more than you think there are times that it doesn’t work out but that’s called life now I will say it’s bad when somebody puts their spouse before their child and that doesn’t matter of a step parent or the personal parent, you know the birth parent it don’t matter their child should come first no matter what, so no matter who they marry that doesn’t mean the child doesn’t come first they should but Eric is a difference it also third act like you know that’s always the case cause you’re running your mouth like that’s always the case. No it’s not. There’s a lot of cases where it works out but I guess you shouldn’t take a chance because it might not work out well you can sit there and live under a rock for the rest of your life and be afraid because they might not work out
@@tammiepage6489 The whole point of a post is to tell your side from your experiences or feelings. They were just saying their opinion on the topic of the subject. Just like how you are responding to what they posted. Everyone has the right to tell their opinions and thoughts on things.....just like how I am responding to you. I would never tell you to NOT SAY whatever you have to say on the matter. Everyone has an opinion, and no one should be told to not speak just because you do not like what they have to say. I don't care for what you said, but I am not telling you to not post your thoughts. I just think that your post sounded pretty hateful and that is not nice. Just pointing out the fact that we need to choose a better and nicer way to respond to people and not be so rude. I hope you have a very blessed day. @sherryd3299, was just explaining how she felt on the subject.
"Step" is not a curse word. It is okay to refer to your spouse's kids as your stepkids, because that is what they are. It's not a bad term to use. They have parents already, you cannot just come in and insist that you are "mom" or "dad".
P xO I agree. For the most part, when I talk about the kids to people around I say "My kids". But they definitely refer to me as their stepmom which is totally fine. Its who I am. We have them 50% of the time and their Mom is very much a part of their lives
My step-mother is such a cunt I just refer to her at my Dad's wife these days, but my Step-dad is so amazing I sometimes call him my second Dad. I usually refer to him as my step-dad, and he usually calls me his step-son, but he has said something very powerful that I'm sure a lot of people have heard. "I love you as if you were my own kid. I think of you as my son, but I never want to try to take your dad's place because that's his role." I think a lot of people think because they are the step-parent that they should try to take the role of the parent and that's really not their place (there's always exceptions). Take the role of a supportive family member. Be the person they can come and unload on. I like to think of it as pretend you are an Uncle or Aunt first and over time you will build and earn that relationship of a second parent.
I agree however the single parent and step parent should talk about situation because its a big step being involved in a ready made family and ground rules must be discussed so things wont get of track
Haze I wasn't trying to be a smart ass or anything when I asked how old you are i really just wanted to know because I understand exactly what you're saying about the adult children from my own experience and I don't often find people who agree with me, everyone tends to think if the children are not actually children everything should be smooth sailing and that's not the case unfortunately, I've found adult children in blended families tend to be needy, territorial and down right disrespectful when in all actuality they have plenty going on in their own adult lives that they shouldn't be worried about what their parents have going on as long as there is no abuse or anything like that...I say all the time, after going through this experience I'd rather date a man with small children than adult children
My step father always took care of the household. I never really had a strong connection with him though. I’ve always respected him and have been kind but wouldn’t confide about personal things. Or go hang out. You can’t force things. He’s my mothers husband and I respect him for taking me in and helping raise me.
I’m a stepdad. I never had children and I have difficulties in the relationship but I have a step daughter whom I met at the age of approximately 9 1/2 yrs while dating her mother of course, and her brother who is doing well for himself helped raised the child. To make along story short there is the son of my wife now that is involved in our lives is approximately 30 yrs of age with a beautiful 3 yrs old daughter. I have had issues with him in the past. There is no real connection between us but on the other hand he is trying to get close for his mothers sake, me on the other hand no so open to the relationship because of the past between us. I am just wondering do I have any obligations towards the relation between us other than being respectful and I guess courteous do the reason it is my wife’s son.
@@Yomama1029 So nice to hear you being so honest. I am a new stepparent of 3 and have a son of my own. All kids are grown except for one of my husband's kids. I would and do try everything in my power no matter what to be open, honest and try to stay as close as I can to all of the kids. I do not know you personally, but to read this I just have to say that this must be on your mind more than you let on to others. So that means that this is affecting you. TBH I think that you should try to make amends the right way and open your heart, mind, and your mouth to let the said kid or kids know how you feel in a non-threatening way. If you try and if you pray about it most of all, things will begin to come together as it should be. You can do this. Best of luck and God bless you all.
Man im glad my parents divorced and meet new people when i was big enough to move out.... Poor children living in this situation having to adapt to parents choises
@@dfourdior9318 lmao right poor step parent who made the decision to be in this situation smh stfu. The kids dont make any decisions yet have to really deal with it for the rest of their lives.
I always thought to my self that if one of my parents remarry, I wouldn't consider their new husband or wife, my step parent. I would consider them my mom or dad new husband or wife. and their kids they would just be "that guys" kids or "that lady's" kids . not my step-brother or sisters
My mom remarried when I was in my twenties. I called him dad. He called me his step daughter. I called him dad, to my biological father. My “step” dad did more for me than my real dad ever did. To each it’s own though. Love the ones that love you
I slightly disagree with the approach of “This is my house my rules.” As a stepchild who faced step abuse, basically that sounds like “This is now my house, these are my rules, I own you now, your feelings no longer matter, you’re a powerless child.” I think the better approach would to simply tell the child “I respect your feelings. However, I wish we could make things work.” Or maybe even asking about what went wrong, and how things could work. Imagine a random stranger off the streets one day comes in and decides to take over your household and boss you around? Any logic person would say get the hell out. So it’s more about befriending everyone around your significant other and building trust. Otherwise it will be a highly toxic environment. If you bully the household into holding specific beliefs for the step family to look like it works on the outside, resentment will begin to build among the children and parents.
If a step parent has earned that title of "mom" or "dad" from a child/teen it's because they're doing right by that child/teen. It takes a level of maturity to accept and coparent. Some people don't have it. Being a step parent is a thankless job. It takes someone special to be able to love their partners children as their own.
@@willjackson4505 Then you respect them and give them space so long they don't act bratty. Treat them like roomates basically. Friendly but not friends.
And some children no matter how right you do by them just don’t have it in them to accept you. And that sucks big time for the selfless step parent that continues sacrificing and providing to only be rejected. Don’t be that kid
My step dad was good to me & my half brother (his son), but my step dad wouldn't have anything to do with his son from his first marriage & when he left his first wife, that son was 2.
I’ve had a step mom for well over 15 years. To this day I still can’t call her my mom. I don’t have a relationship with her. I don’t get good vibes when I’m around her.
This is a joke, and def more programming. These marriages should not have occurred. Period. Its not the true design of marriage. The children always suffer and if this actor think he did a great job at rearing his children and step children ...please look at them now. Praying for them and all blended families.
but the problem is the will...make sure your kids are protected once a stepparent is in the picture everything you worked to save for your childrens inheritance and that greatgrandmas ring u saved for your daughter...GONE...IT GOES TO THE NEW LOVER...STEPPARENT AND THEIR CHILDREN. My dad works for family law...these 2nd 3rd marriages ruin families and its painful to watch a child whos known their father for 46 years...and only to have a new stepmom swoop in only 2 years, married for 5 months to get everything this man worked to save for his child. Remember the law makes the next of kin the new lover not your family that u raised or known all your life.
Right but the stepmom doesn't have to give away everything to you that she also accumulated during the marriage. I'm sure you won't be cut out of the deal but you're not getting everything either.
Please don't impose upon children by insisting they call you mom or dad because doing so can cause turmoil for them and hurt to angry feelings for their biological mom or dad. Also, it is perfectly ok to introduce stepchildren as my wife's, or husband's, son or daughter. Because that is the truth and kids know truth. I didn't call my stepfather "dad" because I had a dad I loved. We kids called our stepfather by his first name and was perfectly fine for everyone, including his kids because he was their dad; not ours! This maintained everyone's position and in a respectful way with no hard or hurt feelings.
On the flipside though many cultures believe calling adult by there first name is rude. So maybe just call then Mr. or Mrs. just out respect especially if your living with them. What do you think?
The 'children' are always innocent. It can be quite confusing indeed. All any child really wants in the end, midway and from the beginning, is to know that they count, and that they are loved in some way, shape or form. Tough stuff here, still.....
People don't realize they will grow old and if they make a mess of things with their kids their own lives will be a mess. Unity out the gate makes for unity through the years. My mom and step dad were self absorped and gave each other permission to favor their "blood" kids and grandkids. They are now old, frail and largely alone. I used to tell mother that these days were coming if she didn't put a pot of pasta on and facilitate peace with her kids and step kids. No bueno.
This is why I don't do blended families. I respect that others can do this but I don't have the patience to raise someone elses child and invest money and time into a kid that isn't mine and won't respond to me well if I make a simple request and I can't retaliate simply because they are a child. I am not putting my time and money into that.
Well i hav a stepson...but biologically i dnt have a child..he is my joy,I luv him very much....I told myself dat not even 1 day will I eva call him my stepson....i knw very well down da line he may change but for now I will play da role as a mother and totally doing it from da goodness of my heart without expecting anything in return
My husband loves my son the way you describe this love - its beautiful. So may I ask - he does your family feel about your step child, and what will happen when you have kids of your own, see husbands family don't really vibe with my son, its hard for them to give love, so now I don't allow my other child to visit he's grandparents,, cause I don't want to separate my kids and I stand by this.
@@zanelemofikoe2374 I'm sorry if this seems intrusive but isn't that emotional blackmail? Your husband supports this? Do they outwardly mistreat your son or just have trouble showing affection? Also doesn't your son already have paternal grandparents of his own so why force the relationship with the steps? The reality of the situation is they're half siblings with two different sets of family on Dad's side.You cannot force your first son Dad's side to love your youngest child and vice versa.They will always have a special love for their biological one, that's human nature,as long as there is no abuse or mistreatment going on. The reality with half siblings is that there's always going to be some sort of divide at some point that's out of your control.That doesn't change the love between your sons though,just focus on their relationship with each other. My parents have half siblings who didn't even grow up in the same household as them yet we're so close the half doesnt matter.
Just DON'T do this IF you have minor children, do not do this to them. I don't care how perfect you think it will be, it's not and for minor children it's very confusing, complicated and life altering; not just momentarily altering, it's LIFE altering and it's a nightmare. As an adult, take responsibility for not only your actions but the protections you need to afford to your biological children! It's much easier to raise a healthy child (mentally, physically, emotionally) than to repair a broken adult. I can't reiterate this enough: DON'T DO THIS TO MINOR CHILDREN, EVER! After your biological children are 18 and an adult then you can go and do what you wish in your personal/love life.
This!!! I couldn't said it better. Blended families don't work. I'm shocked how many people are selfish and jump right after divorce into new relationships, and most of them have minor kids. I think there is statistics somewhere that 75% of blended families don't work out.
Ok once your close with your mom then it changes once he moves in . Then the dynamic changes and now the daughter can't get any time cause she don't wanna be bothered unless it's him. Yeah Steve has a success story not everybody and that's facts.
I don’t know. Steve Harvey just always rings a little bit like disingenuous to me. Like I might be wrong, and God please forgive me if I am. But he has had multiple children with multiple woman? And then he and his wife have the nerve to say that they run their house like a “Dictatorship”. Well Steve, who judged you so harshly when you had multiple women? These kids are going to have feelings and it’s going to be really tough for them to adjust to different women (and their own moms are probably hurt as well). I think that maybe it would been wiser if he stayed single for awhile to raise his children. You just can’t keep marrying without expecting the kids to have feelings about it. I think that some people can put their own personal ambitions aside and be there for just their kids for awhile - especially if the kids have been through multiple situations. And I didn’t like it when Steve said that if the kid disagreed that he or she would just basically go to school naked. I don’t know. It’s hard for me to follow his advice. I would follow him more if he was actually celibate for awhile and focused on the kids he has rather than joining another family. That might be super complicated and hard for the kids. Just me expressing my feelings. Not to condemn him, but to say that he should show his kids grace too and maybe hold off on his own relations for awhile for their sakes!! 🙏
Since my stepchild wasn't raised properly, it's her dad's responsibility to keep her in line. She's manipulative and lies. Learned all that mess from her mother. I think she's realizing she can't manipulate me.
I understand completely about not using the phrase 'step'. My daughter is not my husband's birth daughter but he has never introduced her to other people as his 'step' daughter. He introduces her as 'and this is my daughter....'. To me and my dear husband that is just how it is. We have been married now for 22 years. I wish that all blended families were this way but unfortunately this is not the case for one reason or another. My daughter respects my husband and my husband respects my daughter. They are two of the most wonderful people in my life. I would not have married my husband if he could not love my daughter as his own.
This can work for some families, but it definitely never worked with mine. I still have a dad, and my stepdad calling himself my dad feels disloyal and insulting to my actual dad. It depends on the family.
Well I had a blended family I let her call me mom because her mom was completely absent...but even still she manipulated her dad and now we are not together but oh well
Tell me about it 😒 but I also think is about jealousy. My step kids mom is not in a relationship, so I feel she tries to just give everybody a hard time because she has too much time in her hands. It affects the children tremendously. We try to make it as simple and possible for the kids, but when their at their moms house, she makes it hard..... I know not every bio mom is not the same, praise God for that!!!
I had a big problem with my kids step mother. She was jealous over me. She was holding my daughter saying I was nothing and she called me out of my name. I let my kids go but because I am a Christian I know that God was protecting my kids ears. My kids are adults now. They still have pain because they're dad stop being in their life. I always kept my mouth shut because I never wanted him to say it was because of me. This step mother at the time would hid his keys before he would come to pick up our kids. He ended up leaving her for someone else like he left me for her. I pray not every step mother is like that.
My ex step daughter, that was grown already when we married hated me because I wouldn’t watch her children ( i’m disabled ) let her move in with us ( she never lived with him before so why after we married) She was a horrible person that I thought was very nice. Her dad described her to be a very nice person and everything that he said about her such as not smoking weed and drinking Tequila etc…( wasting money buying it and begging for money afterwards, having an aggressive temper cursing all the time etc…was not true about her. She doesn’t get along with her own mother either. I’m so glad that I don’t have to deal with that anymore!
Yeah that all sounds good. But when you have a woman who is more worried about being her children's friends than a parent and then gets upset with you when you get mad that her children talk back, break things and do what they want after being told to do something else then you have to fight with your significant other just because you got upset and are trying to be dad. It makes for resentment very quickly. Don't date women with kids.
😭🙄 Kudos to mixed families who are making it work.... I myself suffer daily with mixed emotions..because my children were in the household for the upbringing..and...the other children were in the custody of their mothers.
A stepparent is not granted legal “rights” to a child nor legal “custody” of a child unless stepparent is awarded legal adoption and/or legal guardianship of said child through the courts. A stepparent is a term used to describe a legally married man or woman to a man or woman with biological and/or adopted children and is normally viewed as an actual parent in the home with his/her spouse and children. In other words, the stepparent is allowed/expected to take on the role as a parent in the home in an agreed upon manner/extent between the adult married couple, but the biological or adoptive parent or guardian is responsible for most, if not all, parenting decisions, normally with the input of the stepparent. All of this is true regardless of the stepchild’s acceptance or rejection of the novel arrangement.
I'm a step parent and it's hard just have Faith in God and do what you do for your husband. Their mom are toxic when they fill their heads with foolishness but the truth will come out at the end! Meanwhile my husband and I set rules and they have to go by them.
I'm definitely going through this now. My SO doesn't believe me when I tell him about all the foolishness the girls say "their mom said". Just total disrespect. I've been a "step"mother for a year now, and I am so close to walking out.
@@alishaelzie7348 I know I have been going through this also and they call you a liar but put Faith in God and let him do the work if you love your husband. Kid's will test you especially if not your own!
As much as I loved his children, I recently decided it was time to call it quits. I had to face the reality that he is an abusive covert narcissist. His oldest daughter brought everything out in the open, even stating he knew about everything that was going on. Almost 2 years down the drain and I don't think I will ever receive answers to why or an apology. God heard my prayers after all!
I know my situation is a little different. My daughter ‘s biological step out and never looked back and never gave less than a damn about my daughter. I have been in her life since she was 15 and I been making it happen for her. I put her thru college and held her down every since. She is 28 now and it seems like she is still stand off ish. I love my baby but she gonna have to come around at some point because it does hurt and is a little embarrassing when she gives me the could shoulder around the rest of the family and friends. The bottom line that dude is not gonna come back and be dad, so she can stop trying to leave room for him in her life and let me in . I don’t know maybe I’m just being overzealous right now. What do you all think?
@@stickerlady1774 thanks for the reply, I completely agree with you. Sometimes I feel like my wife and daughter benefit more from my life than I do…. It’s all good 👍🏿 last year I started living my best life
So did Steve's 3rd wife just take all his kids away from this ex-wives and make them live with she and Steve? Did his ex-wives just give up custody of their children and give them to Steve and his current wife? Very odd.
I have a two year step daughter ive been in her life since she was 6 months i don't make her call me mom she calls me by my name but i still help take of her and take her out and buy her things her mom is in her life and i don't feel like stepping on her toes. When people ask is she my daughter in passing just say yes because its easier then explaining the whole story ill always treat her like my daughter and she loves me so i don't feel the need to force her to call me mom.
Blended families can bring a lot of problems, I ended up getting into a physical fight with my step dad when I was 16 years of age because he tried to “discipline “ my little sister who was 13 at that Time, she got mad at him and told him not to mess with her because he wasn’t her father, then he got angry and started screaming at her telling her that he was the one paying her bills, then he pushed her to her room ( I was taking a shower when all of this was happening ), when I got out of the shower I saw him pushing my sister to her room while she was crying, so I run to them and I pushed him away from her, I took my shirt off and told him to try to do that to me, we both cursed at each other and then we ended up fighting, my sister took advantage of the opportunity and also jumped on him scratching his face, then my half sister tried to help her dad as well and she grabbed my sister by her hair and tried to pull her away from her dad. (My half sister was just about to turn 10 when this happened). My mom wasn’t home and when she arrived, she tried to handle the situation but it didn’t work, it just wasn’t the same anymore after that had happened, at the end they ended up getting divorced, and the only one that was damaged the most was my half sister. My mom tried to reconcile me and my sister with our half sister but it didn’t work, it’s been almost 12 years since that happened, and till this day me and my sister don’t talk to our half sister at all. So in conclusion having a blended family might bring a lot of damage, so think twice before you decide to get involved.
Him and my mom were marry for over 10 years and before that incident happened we never had a problema like that, this was the very first time we got into a physical confrontation, it wasn’t the first time that he “disciplined” my sister, but it was the first time that he got physical with her, and I wasn’t gonna allow that to happen. I’m assuming that you are an adult and as an adult I assume you would understand that it’s not easy for children to go through the breakdown of their family, farther more; it’s not an easy thing to have to deal with a step parent. When you decide to have step children it’s a gamble of wether or not they will get along with you. It’s not my fault he wanted to take the risk, when he married my mother he was very aware that my mom had two children from her previous marriage, no one put a gun to his head for him to marry my mom, it was HIS CHOICE to marry her very well knowing that he was gonna become a step father. And just to respond to your comment, he was never our dad, we never referred to him as our father, and he wasn’t the only paying the bills, my mother also had a job and my dad was always on point with his responsibilities as a father. Our life style didn’t changed at all after my ex-stepfather left.
This why you mom is unhappy now or she left you high and dry for a man because yall lil girls yall ain't woman yall lil girls who don't know how to deal with a father or male figure
So his wife said all the kids even the ones who aren't hers, have to live all together but what about the actually mother's who had Steve's other kids.. what do they say about that?? Because they may not give a damn about all that and want their kids to be with them instead.. that whole moment of what she was saying was kinda weird in my opinion..
My fiancé 11 yr old son wants to act like a man but he wants to be treated with kids gloves. For one he doesn’t put his clothes away and then acts like he has no clothes. He’s 11 but thinks he is too young to put his own clothes away. It’s not like I’m making him wash his clothes by hand. Just put your clothes away in your draw.
The parenting styles can be a big problem. You come into a child's life that has never been corrected or disciplined, and try to raise them up properly with direction and discipline, It's a mess. Their bio parent can know they need it, they just don't want you doing it. But you're a full time step parent because the bio mom left. It has to be some compromise somewhere smh 🤦🏾♀️
My situation right now. Only difference is biological mom is involved in the childs life but the child lacks discipline and its hard for me to tolerate bad behavior when the child comes over to visit. But my hands are tied because the guidance I give is immediately thrown out the door the moment he goes back to his mom's house.
My situation right now and when l tried talking to my husband in a polite way he said l don't love his kids .mind you they are 19 and 17 .he said l had to apologise to them. Truth is l don't encourage anyone to marry men with kids especially when they full of their kids drama
My husband and I thought, studied and prayed hard before jumping into blending our families. We have been married about a year and a half. He brought 5 with him. I brought 6 with me and we just had number 12 six weeks ago. It is hard. But worth it to raise some amazing kiddos.
Good when they present the ideal Hollywood settings on television. But in real life, no single mother is going to allow you to be the man of the house, much less have your rules apply to her children. And that is precisely the nightmare of being a stepfather and having stepchildren. I have lived that nightmare in person and I do not recommend it to anyone. Look for a woman without children or stay single.
What a jerk. He thinks it’s funny to threaten to take away material possessions from a minor who doesn’t want to consider Harvey his father. Harvey, in that kids eyes, is legitimately NOT his father. What a terrible example of step-parenting. Step-parenting is about relationships - that the step-parent is responsible for building. It’s not about shaming or power struggles. How disappointing that GMA let him promote this crap behavior.
No that's not really true at all. All my almost step fathers always saw me as someone who was in the way or just their. I never hated them either but they certainly never liked me.
What works for one family doesn't work for all families. Everyone must find and live their own truth, and find their own solutions for their family. Check out these meditations that help stepmoms connect to their inner expert, and get the answers they need to make it work in their own circumstances. www.annadeacosta.com/guided-meditations.html
Steve Harvey i dont agree. this is a mans world. no matter how low of a father your step children's father may be you can never say youre new their new father. youre disrespecting yourself by belittling another man by claiming his kids. i remember when my step dad told me this, I was so confused and I accepted this confusion as it left me in a dase. step parents just need to love their partners and build a relationship with their partners kids with knowlege and acces to their real parents instead of trying to brain wash them with this "im youre father now" bs. you dont have to be our fathers. all we ask for is love, understanding, and courtesy. give us those and you should have a great house whole
Exactly because my stepfather always have been a stepfather to me and I look at him as a father figured because when him and my mom was married he embraced us and he loved us he never treated us no different than his own children and appoint a time his children came to our home with us to know that they was I brothers and sisters as well if it was step or whichever we're family! And I love my stepfather to this day he'll always been a good father and I always have had my father as well I had both of the best world's! Even though my mom and dad was never together! They always showed me extra love thank God I had those people in my life my parents
@@raeo7963 thats how my sons mom and i do it. Our spouses are my sons stepparents but not parents. He has a mom and dad already that are both actively in his life.
Stepparents are often abusive and very demanding and often want the kids to just respect them even more than there own parents I've had horrible exsperiences with my criminal alcholic abusive and neglectful people I don't think they deserve to be treated good if they are like that and don't you dare exspectations me to like them abusers don't deserve it with that being said I don't think my real parents are any better there pretty much just as abusive and neglectful they don't need respect I think what they need is help figuring out how to properly raise kids and treat people right and possibly need help with there own issues but having issues is no exscuse to treat people like that so please stop talking about stepparents like they all deserve respect I think they do deserve it if they treat everyone how they want to be treated then they probably do deserve it but if they treat people like mine do then I don't think they deserve respect I'm all grown up anyway so I don't have to listen to it anymore and I don't have to Abbey by them but treat others with respect then you deserve respect treat them like crap then people will probably want to return that favor
That is such a blessing to hear! That you are such a good family and you are such a good father OMG more men out here like you! I had such bad luck when I let a person into my children's life when they were really young I pray to God that they can forgive me and God will 2 because I've always wanted someone that that would respect them and wouldn't treat them dirty
what child doesn't give their parent a cold shoulder. if a step child to a step parent is rude it has nothing to with the fack of the step parent not being biologically related. teen children are naturally annoyed by any adults. unfortunately all step parents think that if their step child is being disrespectful its mostly because its not their biological child and had it been their biological child maybe they would have a better relationship. children are governor by their emotions its the step parents who over think the situation. kids cant think beyond what they see until 18 - 19. step parents try to assert unnecessary authority because they fear the step child will turn againts them one day.
They can be annoyed all they want,but respect should be shown... step children don’t feel the need to respect the step parent... I swear I can go about my business and the youngest one is very passive aggressive... I’ll make breakfast for example... make enough for her and myself... she won’t eat it but will then throw it in the garbage and eat something else...if you don’t want scrambled eggs and bacon then leave it for someone else...and I have addressed it only for her to become passive aggressive with something else...a bag of potato chips that I’m eating suddenly disappears... only to find out she didn’t eat them but hid them for me to find 2 months later when they’re no good... sorry for the rant Lol...
Just in case I can cook and she does like breakfast food...and mind you I remained silent for 2 yrs before speaking up because I thought she would grow out of it... and I understand she’s a child but it wears on you after awhile
Will Jackson her mother is not modelling that she needs to express her apprehension in healthy ways. The biological parent should take the lead in discipline and addressing passive aggressive behaviour, which is unacceptable regardless of the target, and your wife is enabling her possibly due to guilt or her own unconstructive communication style. You need to have a few discussions with your wife.
Love your show you gave me a lot of guidance growing up never had a family man but at least when I was sad turn on your radio show and laugh my butt off god bless you
But have you ever think that is harder for the kids or the teenagers truly felt like when their real mom and their real dad ate not together and living together in one house together No! More just think about that's got a moment though they could be confuse and hurt and painful that is truly are to them on why? Did their real mom and real dad are not together No! More and it's not that their font like you as their new dad or new mom it's just that they are confuse and hurt and in painful to see their dad or their mom been with a new person :(
where is his stepkids real dad?? I dont think he would have that much control in the house.A real dad would not like u acting as if he was "The Dad" instead of stepdad. I guess his wife had kids with a deadbeat who gave up parental rights and now he can take that title of being full dad.If i was the real dad & my ex married steve,i would make sure he knows who their dad is. He just lucky his wife had kids with a deadbeat dad yrs ago so now he can coast through this.But its not always like that!
I understand how important a child needs his father in his life. I can't imagine my kids not being able to live with me. I wouldn't have any memories. How could Steve's wife think that was okay and not have maybe a counseling session or something with the bio mom. I wouldn't want my kids to feel neglected not living with their father. If that was the case I would do it now that I'm older. The weekends would have to be open for my children to visit me if they wanted too. I would definitely let my son go but my daughter I don't know, lots of prayer and fasting for the pain of my soul.
because the biological mother sent their child " a minor" on a plane without warning him , called him 30 minutes before the plane was supposed to land , so their was no one to talk to or bring to counseling
Unfortunately sometimes step parents forget that they're only step parents. Thankfully my sons moms spouse and my spouse understand that they are the step parents and know they're place. My spouse knew right away what's was up and had nothing but respect but it took my sons moms spouse to ease into the reality that he was only a step dad and not his dad. Hes a nice guy though and has good intentions just needed to know his place.
@@normabarros3124 glad to see they're women who still think this way. Like a lady said in a previous comment, some people act as if "Step" is a curse word. Which its not its only the truth. As my spouse says " I love your son and will die for him like hes my own, but i could never replace his mom and take that title out of respect for his mom."
Sorry to say, but Dr. Laura has the best views on this. Parents may not feel comfortable and may deal with a lot of stuff from the divorce and step family issues and that is their own issue to solve, kids didn’t cause or want this. A step family is just that. Step, you can make the best of it but it won’t be perfect nor should it. It’s not the way we are supposed to be. Ignoring the step in my opinion takes away the natural feelings a child may have. It’s going against nature. Recognizing that’s it’s not Plan A, will validate the natural feelings that a kid has wishing it was their mom and dad. IMO Validate and accept for what it is. Then try to implement strategies. But do NOT blame the kids for acting normal in an non-normal situation.
The word is not so much the problem , but step is something that is walked on , and that is exactly how some innocent , vulnerable babies , children over the years have been treated , wickedness , the problem is how humans treat humans , I believe as adults we first are to love and treat children with respect , give them time to adjust , don't try to be the biological father or mother , just be the loving caring person that they would feel safe / trust to come to us whenever they have a need , when we show them love and respect then we earn their love and trust. And for the bigger child/ children , sometimes # 1 they are still hurting over the breakup of their parents or they don't want anyone coming between them and their father or mother , so they tend to make it harder for the new partner / step parent , so their has to be a balance of love and willingness to co-orparate from both sides 🙏🏼♥️♥️♥️
A lot of this would not happen if kids were not forced to visit the parent that has a spouse that the child does not like. I cannot understand what benefit it is to force a child to go into a home and interact with someone they don’t like. Children have feelings and I don’t think telling them they have to except someone they don’t like is the right thing to do. That just is going to create childhood trauma for them into their adulthood. If the parent wants to move on, let them, but don’t force the child to accept them because they do.
I couldn't agree more. The parent that left and moved on and remarried it's like they want to assuage their guilt for abandoning their children and play pretend they are a parent every other weekend so they can lie to themselves that they didn't really leave, when they most certainly DID and all it does is traumatize the kid. So utterly selfish. If you want to see your kids, just come take them out to dinner and fun stuff like that, don't force them to go live with a witch who doesn't want them around.
He may not be your natural child but you hold the role of father mother etc in this house and as a member he-she is expected to fall in line. I dont expect you will like me all the time but i expected to be treated with respect at all times.
What do you do if you meeting the adult kids? Already the one daughter is coming around more and hardly speaks... trying to decide if it’s worth putting my heart in it
Your question doesn't make any since at all... It's like you didn't finish the question. Now I have a question for you, can you give us a deeper meaning of your question?
For all the whiny kids out there, my advice to you 1st and formost is to stay in school.. When u have at least half of a brain, u can do a bit of analysis.. If ur stepdad acts like what a dad should act, u call him dad and u follow his rule.. Same goes for ur stepmom.. Whiny kids may include a lot of goths.. Batteries are sold seperately..
As long as you're not living in the "nothing but a stepdad"' house absorbing his resources and eating his food. There is so much more to being a parent than providing "clothes & stuff". Either way, you still have to respect his position.
Cherry Blossom unfortunately this is usually the case. Ur expected to only voice your wives opinion when she asks otherwise step whatever we are are a tool to be used for work around the house and our finances.... dont ever think as a step whatever you will ever be able to voice your opinion
+Thobani Vitaleous +misscamara12 Actually his exwife sent her son via airplane to him without telling him she was sending him and called Steve 30 minutes before the plane was scheduled to land (reported extensively and her assistant said she bought the ticket and made the call). She is also the one who filed for divorce. He only had 1 minor child when he married his last wife and it's the one that was sent to him via air. So, there were no other parents to talk to because all his other children were adults. Her children are the minors.
My Stepfather was best father. Even when he divorced from my mummy, I still help him. He was caring and loving. So today mummy don,t like him but we have a strong bond and that helps my small brothers 2 reunited him again after smash divorce. I was 6 yrs when he married my mummy and mummy never let him 2 take care of me becuase of of trust issueses . But he use 2 bought me cloths and toys and cany.
asma baqer i wouldn't call my stepparents (if i had them, but luckily my parents are still hapilly married) 'mum' or 'dad' either. that's a total disrespect to your real parents. they are just your mum or dad's new partners and that's it. they are not there to be your extra parent or to replace the real one.
So I guess the step parents shouldn't be responsible to fulfill or be a "replace" worker to do "real mom/dad" tasks like take care of you (feed, love etc.) help raise you because you're not their real son/daughters but just a new relationship?
Never referred my SKs as my steps nor has my family. Yet because of the hangups from their bio parents, I’m the easiest(safe) target because I’m the replaceable member of their family. They do not want to hurt their parents because to the kids, those individuals are not replaceable. As a step parent in the child’s eyes, you will always be replaceable. Those sort of issues will not just end with you or the children you share with their parent. Not always but majority. If one parent is inciting their children to commit violence towards the other parent’s household, all you can do is remove your own to prevent harm. The SO needs to learn to be the parent that teaches their children real boundaries of right and wrong(lawfully) despite what their other parent promotes. Been there to know.
