Don't treat me like a child by making the decision for me; like, let me lie to her because she "can't handle the truth". No, it's really the liar who can't handle the reaction. Get over yourselves & just tell the truth & be done with this.
MagiQQ Eyessssss you say you’d rather hear the truth .., but would you? Why is it so important that your man feels he has to dodge your question because he doesn’t want you going ballistic if he says he doesn’t care one way or another if you wear the blue or the red. It’s more important to get on with your man and not expect him to think like a woman
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Thats actually a good thing. Dont dress for him anyway. But even if hes telling the truth... However, it wouldnt kill your boyfriend to lie sometimes and say yeah u look pretty in that outfit
@@rajanp7002 no im saying theres something wrong with being vocal about what you want your partner to wear. Theres some verbally abusive guys out there that tell their girl "i like it when you where that top more baby, it makes your boobs look bigger" something like that. Its actually narcissistic.
As a female physician I have an understanding of how men feel they have to fix every problem someone in their care complains about. I have to remind myself that sometimes patients don’t want a solution, they just want to vent, not be fixed. Venting in and of itself can be very therapeutic - as a professional I need to remind myself of this.
From a man's perspective, I think this is really helpful in order for us to achieve the relationship that we truly deserve. There is no perfect relationship but if we just widen our patience, no problem would be left unsolved.
He says men don't wanna tell the truth because there don't want to deal with a woman getting mad at them. Well if they're doing something that they shouldn't be doing, that's why she's getting mad. She's not getting mad because they are telling the truth, she's getting mad because they did something that she feels is not consistent with them being in a relationship with her. If you wouldn't do it in front of her face, don't do it behind her back. Pretty simple.
I no longer care. I’ve aged out of caring what goes on in a man’s mind. And all the distress & angst that can go along with it. Getting older is wonderful for a woman!
Yes , I agree , your senses mellow out as the more older you get & it no longer matters about being with or getting a man , you tend to do all the brushing away of them all after a certain age , they no longer matter or hold any value in a woman's life , when they come on to you , you won't have any feelings for them & you no longer cares how the boat rocks , it no longer matter which way it goes , you just tend to ❤ your own self worth that it took you so long to build up inside yourself , you tend to admire & ❤ the freedom you have found inside yourself & value it much more than a man , a man no longer matters , your self worth replaces the needs of wanting a man , you become much more aware of who you truly are in your own right, sorry men , its no longer about you , its more about our well beings , true peace & self happiness 😊
I agree 100% with Steve on the truth piece. If your going to lash out at someone when they tell the truth, what makes you think they will tell it? No one wants to he the target of another person's fury. Emotional maturity is the key. You can be angry as all get out but you don't have to go Incredible Hulk on a person.
Saidia Manyuan it’s funny because according to studies that’s the exact reason why children learn to lie. So that they won’t get into trouble or so that they don’t hurt your feelings.
Steve gave good advice to the guy on his lady calling him with a panic attack. You may not know what to do or how, sometimes the lady just needs you to listen to how she’s feeling. Tell her “(Name) I’m glad you open up to me about what you’re going through. I want you to remember I care about you and that you are not alone, I’m with you, I’m right here. Listen, you’re going to get through this as hard as it looks and feels right now. You’re stronger than you think, and you have someone right here who cares. I’m glad to at least walk with you through it. We’re right here right now, just breath deep for a few minutes and let go. Things we can’t do anything about make peace and release it, then focus on what you can do something about and break it down into pieces so you don’t get overwhelmed and stuck in the mud.”
The last question and the answer to it accounts for probably 85% of the inevitable negative emotion in relationships. Steve said it best, the venom and anger that can stem from answering a simple question is why men lie about stupid things and don't want to have a deep conversation with you. Women, do you really think your man wants to deal with your attitude and discontent. Something else he said, we don't want to have an entire summer ruined just for not being able to read your mind and lie to you on your terms. This is why relationships are so hard. Woman, you have made great progress over the last 20 or 30 years. However, you need to understand why so many men are tired of the roller coaster emotion game that gets played on them. If you treat your man with respect, and listen to him the way you want him to listen to you then he will do his best to please you. That's what most men want to do, they want to please you but it's not a one way street. You also have to please him, and you know what he wants and needs, so why play games and cause mindless drama for no reason.
So true, and we have to stop nagging about the same thing over and over again. There shouldn't be anything that ruins a whole summer. I mean, we gotta let it go.
Guys, when women ask for the truth, what we're really looking for is REASSURANCE. We don't want the actual truth in your mind necessarily, for example when you tell us the truth and we get offended/hurt/insecure or whatever, and we don't want a lie, cuz we can usually tell, and it makes us more insecure. The solution is REASSURANCE. That's different from telling her what you think she wants to hear. I'll give you a simple example: Her: Do you find that other girl attractive? Are you attracted to her? Him: (The real truth) Yeah, she's cute/hot/whatever. -She gets upset. Him: (Telling her what she wants to hear) No. -She feels he's lying, she gets upset. Him: (Giving reassurance- what she really wants and needs) I don't care about her, you're the only woman I want. You're the one I love and want to be with. I don't care how pretty she is, she could never come close to you. I could never feel for her what I feel for you. (Something like that. THAT'S what she wants to hear. She just feels threatened or a little insecure, and a little reassurance like that is all she needs.) You're welcome :) If you want to make your lady a whole lot happier, give her regular reassurance without her asking for it, it will make her feel a lot more secure in your love.
I know this 2yrs comment. At the end why does a guy “have to” to keep reassuring her? Is the man doing something to cause this feel in her or it’s something that is out of the man’s control?
Thank you for telling things as they really are, it has been HUGE help, as I only found your videos 22 h ago. And I started to apply them to my life straight away. ❤ Nancy from Finland
some girls dress for the man because they want them to feel that attraction. Funny you aren't even remotely interested in pleasing the man, but women who like men usually want them to be attracted to them...
Well, a man is perfectly free to admire the attire that I feel best flatters MY figure, reflects MY taste in fashion, and conduces to MY physical comfort. Why would I even deign to consider what a man, even one I love, finds sexy on me or on women in general? My self-respect & personal comfort trump his preferences every time! I'm a free spirit and refuse to be enchained by the values of others whether in matters of fashion or otherwise. I dress for ME; I'm quite democratic so a man can dress to suit his own tastes, not mine. : ) You may yet discover that no article of clothing, no accessory, no sense of style renders either a man or a woman as attractive as CONFIDENCE in oneself, period. If you don't know WHO you are as a person independent of the exterior variables that shape your identity, then you have FAR greater challenges than figuring out what outfit works best as a man-magnet. A man who is worth your attention will respond to your character before he even notices what you're wearing...and if he doesn't....NEXT!! : )
Well, dude, you're blessed to meet an exception....ME!! I stand by every word I said. And as you can see, a number of people agreed with my comment so there are other exceptions like ME!! : ) Besides, you are mistaken to presume that all women dress for men anyway. That applies to SOME women, not ALL women; it is said that many women really dress to impress other women...you know, it's that competition bullshit. As I said, I dress for MY shape, within MY budget, according to MY taste. I'm not an attention whore fishing for compliments. And I've been known to ignore men who compliment me on my looks; I might sometimes say "thank you" (just to be polite) but that's a man that I will NOT thereafter take seriously. I will mentally dismiss him. Obviously, I have mirrors in my house; I know perfectly well what I look like and so I don't need some guy to comment on my appearance. And I'm very comfortable in my skin. I regret to inform you I'm not as insecure as you clearly are.
I am a woman and I'm a fixer. I'm not aggressive or overbearing but if I have an issue my expectation IS give me advice because that's what I'd do to you.95% of the time I already know what I should do but sometimes it nice to just have confirmation and a bit of insight. The telling the truth part is real too. If I ask then I really want the truth so be careful about the volunteering of options ( when it comes to appearance.) For both sexes. Pick and choose your battles. Relationships can be hard enough dealing with more important things.
Tina , im 75 yrs old..men have not changed but women have. I think now alot more women cheat then when i was young. I never though of cheating but then i didnt have a high sex drive..And women of my day and earlier were taught that we were to be more respectful of ourselves and not to chase after men.
not every woman is the same.i want the truth even if it hurts so we can work on a solution.the more he keeps hiding things under the rug the more it messes with my sense of reality.if i get mad and i have a right to so what get over it.if its something petty i get mad about just tell me how you feel.its simple.guys get all scared to say how they really feel or what they really did it only makes matters worse.the point is to love learn n grow together.
To be honest I don’t care because, if I tell them the truth they get mad when I tell them a lie they get mad. So I just say idk or shrug my shoulders let them find it out on their on.
The point of "telling women what they want to hear" is about keeping peace in the house. It doesnt matter how much you want the truth, if a guy thinks that telling the truth will get himself in the doghouse then he will lie 100% of the time. No man will start a fire in his own house
Replacing a woman's clothes at your expense, for your benefit, is a polite form of objectifying her & is ultimately self serving. A woman of quality knows this. If a woman does not feel treasured, she may not feel comfortable in front of you, especially in what you have chosen. Accept her as she is. Celebrate her! Later, when she realizes the rare prize that you are, make honest suggestions to her. She is not your paper doll. A good woman will not be treated as such & you will be at a loss.
"We don't want you to fix anything, we just want to talk" as a man this is the most confusing thing I've ever heard from a woman. It completely goes against my beliefs, morals and values as to how I can provide the best care and emotional support by fixing the problem
Maybe people don’t do the best job of trying to explain this. Maybe just not jumping straight to fixer mode would be good. She does want help, but she just also really wants to know you are a place where her emotions are allowed to exist. So just some time to sit and give comfort like a hug and sympathy. I think that’s what bothers women-the advice without the emotional support. They’re trying to tell you that they don’t JUST need the problem solved. It’s like, stabilize the patient before performing emergency surgery. We don’t want our emotions to drive us through life, they should be the passenger. But they are there, and in an intimate relationship they are going to have to be able to be shared.
right....while he helps hide hers......but I say dam that....because when a woman tells a man the truth...she cares not how he feels, so why not tell her the truth too.....easy
414MrMilwaukee can't stand this hypocrite. He's always throwing me and under the bus and preventing men from potentially scoring but he did his ex-wife and Mary Harvey very dirty. Cheated on her with his current wife and kept their son away from her. And I heard he cheated on his first wife with Mary. Don't know how true that part is but everytime I see that hypocrite on TV I hurry and turn the channel. My mom loves his show and his dumb advice though
Bunch of crying biatch in that thread!! Get some balls men, if you want to SCORE as you said, well get a prostitute, dont try to manipulate and disrespect a good woman!
I'm probably going to be in therapy for the rest of my life because of my father, and I'll still never be anything but grateful that at least he isn't Steve Harvey
If he can't figure out how to clean a bathroom (children can figure that out), don't ever expect him to figure anything important out in life. He is a child, not a man.
We want balance.... We want you to spend as much time and effort with us and our family as you do everything else and if you can't we want honest communication about what's going on. We want honesty and don't want to be left in the dark. We want to feel included and important ....like how we feel about things and our perspective actually matters.
Wow your comment is spot on!! Thanks for sharing! This was exactly what I told my EX before I left. All I wanted was to be treated like everyone else. U speak about that when U say, “Balance”. I wanted him to be happy an excited when I showed up at the house like he did when the guys showed up. Or to be excited about taking me out like he was when he would go out to the club with the guys. Unfortunately even after sitting down and letting him know how I felt and him saying that he would do better, he never did. *shrugs* So as hard as it was I finally had to walk away!
You'll do it how ever it done. Men don't realize when they help around the house it turns us on. It shows the love they have for us. They can be so selfish at times
steve harvey is dead on. my guy gave me the truth and it angered me (no drama but an immediate cutoff). yes we want the truth but its subjective. its like lamb on the slaughterhouse. Steve Harvey's book was the best advice my dad never gave me. some men and some women treat the opposite sex like toilet paper and wonder why their relationship don't last
On the dressing I agree with how he said it should be handled but on the truth,give it to me we shall deal with the fury later. I hate being lied to and when I realise he did i get so infuriated, I respect someone who is honest I can even forgive for the honesty.
One thing i dislike about Steve Harvey is that he has appointed himself spokesman for ALL mens thoughts. I don't agree with alot of the stuff he preaches to women, because that's not how I and MOST of the fellow men i have met think or react to situations. PS: HE HAS BEEN MARRIED 3 TIMES .. my dad is not perfect, but he is my role model and i'd rather follow his advice considering he has been married for 40plus years to the same woman than a two time divorcee who has a trail of bitter EXes.
COULDNT BE MORE AGREE OF YOU, i don't understand why this man makes such a conclusion that MeN WILL ALWAYS ACT LIKE THIS SO THIS IS WHAT WOMEN SHOULD DO.
Steve is telling women they need to set their own standards so they are treated the way they want to be treated and get the results they truly want and need. I'm a 56 yr old woman and I know what he is saying is the truth. Experiencing divorce can be a great teacher... BTW
Steve Harvey on very little talent achieved a great deal? I’d laugh at you clowns who are so jealous of him... while you guys are sitting at home looking fat and sloppy.... what are you doing? Where is your talent? I'd hate when other people judge someone else success when all they are doing at home is watching Jerry Springer or Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. Steve has reached phenomenal success in like of Johnny Carson or David Letterman. And, he is doing it in multiple ways and where is your talent?
He giving us sound advice but at the same time y'all forget this MAN is human flesh and I gurantee everything is not perfect in his life not mention he was married and divorced all those times and they were his mistresses!!!!
Vision L yes and his second wife wrote a lot of material, that's another reason why she is so bitter. Bernie Mac , rip, helped him as well. I'mbusiness owner, navy veteran who homeschooled her son who is now becoming a business owner, that's my talent. So yes, I'm one of many who says there other better role models to admire.
I decided back in 1997 to skip the whole marriage thing. I just don't trust a woman not to throw me out and take everything a few years later. Now my career has progressed (35 an hour isn't bad for a working man), got a nice rental property, nice house, excellent friends and when I feel like it (rarely) I date. I was wise to choose this lifestyle I did. I'm what they call a "man going his own way" or MGTOW.
A high quality woman won’t freak out over the truth. A compatible couple won’t freak out whenever they ask what each other is doing. If what a man does with his life upsets her every time then they are incompatible. Simple as that. Open communication and honesty are key to a healthy relationship.
I love the truth even if it may hurt my feelings. The bible say the wise accept corrections, but the fool rejects it. Tell me the truth so I can work on me if there's something needs to be changed or addressed
A-FUCKING-MEN!!! That's exactly what I believe. Just tell me the truth about something, because I could be believing that what I'm doing is good, but in reality it's bad.
@@feliz2564 exactly and people could be judging, criticising us behind our back or calling us a fool. I rather my feelings hurt for few min compare to building a bad reputation.
@@jesuslovesyou916 PREACH my brother or sister😂. I don't know if you'll agree with this but, I've always heard to never care what people think, but what if their incite might be something important🤷🏻♂️. Like it could be helpful in a relationship, or help fix a relationship. Aswell as fix something about me
@@feliz2564 I'm a girl. I don't care what people think, however, if I'm here trying to leave a legacy how I portray myself should matter to me. I want when ppl talk about me it'll not be from something foolish I've done. Iron sharpens iron and I want to teach my 3 year old son good principle to be a godly, honest, and decent man when her grows up.
@@jesuslovesyou916 All the power to you miss. I hope your son becomes a good man one day. And thank you for doing that, we need more men like that, and women like yourself.
If you don't tell women the truth, they will know. I would RATHER a hurtful truth and than fake ass lie. Be real! That is going to get you in far more trouble later. Just be real.
@@thefreethinkingboy9403 all the time. There is a difference between truth, lie and hate. I am 100% honest in truth and I expect the same. Even to a fault. But at least I am not fake. Truth is better.
@@ViaBellaLife the point is that PEOPLE/WOMEN think that they want to hear the truth, when they actually want to hear what they think. So let's avoid headaches
@@thefreethinkingboy9403 Honestly, no, not really. I have gotten into a lot of trouble bc of my mouth. I have learned about having better tact though and that is important.
A woman SHOULDN’T have to worry about having a car or doing the financial HEAVY lifting when she's SUPPOSE to have a MAN in her life. She doesn't have to worry about OFFERING what a MAN SHOULD provide. A MAN should be concerned whether the woman is going to be a good homemaker, nurturing, a DECENT mother, and know how to build and motivate him when he's feeling down on his luck and himself. The problem with these DUDES these days is they don't know their GOD GIVEN role. They want to be the women in the relationships. Ladies, I bet my LIFE on it...anytime you are dealing with DUDES who are NOT willing to PROVIDE the way a MAN should (MAN=MEET ALL NEEDS / BOYS=BURDEN ON YOU SISTAS), trust and believe he is one of those DOWN LOW wanna be treated like a woman type of males. Hire an investigator or have a friend follow him around for a few days (especially the gym and the men's bathrooms), and you'll be surprised what you're going to find out. ONLY Down low DUDES behave and think this way. Like he said "MAKE SENSE"....God gave each of us a role to play, and since IMPERFECT humans DO NOT know MORE than GOD and CHRIST, then guess who we should LISTEN to and FOLLOW????? Show me in the Bible ANY female who was digging in her purse to give a MAN finances...Please show me the scripture. REAL TALK.........MEN=Meet EVERY Need, take and stay in your POSITION and stop trying to wear our panties, pumps and bras.........I can't speak for ALL women, but I know as for me, I'm tired of dealing with all these DOWN LOW DUDES......Trust me when I tell you...I have two GAY male friends and girls, they have spilled the tea about DUDES who refuse to provide and who’s cheap and stingy…...As for MEN, If you want to be RESPECTED as a MAN, Conduct yourself like one..............Again, REAL TALK!
Most men are straitforward,but women like 90 mile an hour answers.but. I learned you both have to TALK things out, and really know what each other are feeling.the more you talk , the more understanding.
it sounds like that book was written for women, but i think there also needs to be a follow up book for Men. And based on how he's talking here, its clear there needs to be one for men as well.
So this is what marriage is like? You have to sneak around in order to do what you want to do? Like hiding shit from your mom? I'll stay single thank you.
what kind of relationships are these people in? if my wife's outfit isn't in sync, i tell her straight out, "you can't wear those shoes with that dress", and bam i pick out shoes that work with it, and my wife is cool with that shit, be honest with her, let her friends tell her the lies she "wants" to hear, you have to be that one person that is totally honest with her.
Steve's right! Despite what the ladies say in the background. Women say they want the truth and a man's opinion on (be it the food she makes, the clothes she wears, the gift she bought) and when the poor man does say the genuine truth (let's say he doesn't like it) she gets upset and he feels bad and tells himself next time he will tell her a somewhat watered down version of the truth. So, he does this and she finds out it's not the complete truth and she gets angry! Gosh, we women are ridiculous!!!! But it's interested and hilarious how both sexes communicate :) Steve does a great job in his delivery.
Not all women are like this though. I would rather hear what I need to hear..have my feelings hurt for two minutes..and get over it than hear a lie. If my husband were to lie to me, there would eventually be a wedge of mistrust in the relationship. Even with the outfit scenario...I ask him about it because he sees me everyday. He knows the difference between me putting in effort and not caring. Even if it hurt my feelings, I would rather hear what was wrong with my outfit and have time to fix it than walk out of the house looking like an idiot.
oh my GOD!!! I swear he tells it EXACTLY how it is, ladies, if you want a happy relationship I swear on my life you need to carefully, and I mean VERY CAREFULLY listen to what this man says about how we men think. Analyze what he said about us and just act on the same level with us, dammit we could all live a happy life. The man wouldn't feel the need to cheat or nothing, would always tell the real truth, y'all need to think more realistically sometimes, and care about our feelings, our stamina or mood for an argument or whatever is about to come out your mouth next, just think about us for a change sometimes too ya know?
Every man or woman is right about how they see the truth because in their head it is. It's the real challenge to start to see what your partner want's instead of trying to get them make them do what you want them to. Hear the true voice of your partner and start to accept his or her as only being human in a relationship. You can't change your partner but you can change the relationship, so that he or her, becomes a better partner for you.
