Stewart Lee - Scooby Doo Thatcher Routine (Carpet Remnant World 2012) 

My dad was able to by his very own plank from a jungle canyon rope bridge. I can see it from here.

Siskin's Bits and Bobs *buy (damn my piss poor education).

Im really sorry to hear about that mate. My uncle also worked for a small jungle canyon rope bridge maintenance firm in Stockport in the 1980s. The company was closed as most jungle canyon rope bridge maintenance firms have relocated to the Caribbean and Latin America. Apparently there is more demand for Canyon Rope Bridge Maintenance firms over there than in greater Manchester.

BRING BACK THE JUNGLE CANYON ROPE BRIDGE JOBS (Corbyn, J. 2017)

I know this is an unpopular sentiment but I felt that the Jungle Canyon rope bridges needed to go anyway, they were outmoded and falling behind. Yeah, they did the job for the most part but it was time for them to go. Of course I have to agree that more could have been done to keep them in better condition. Crying shame that so many had to die from partly broken planks. Kids, naturally, were fucking shit at crossing the thing despite the campaigns done to make sure all parents either held the hand of their canyon crossing progeny or carry them. Since the instantaneous filling in of all of the jungle canyons in '88 (which is presumably why I don't remember any of them) and subsequent decline of zombie pirates (there used to be quite a few in my local area when I was young, now I only know of a couple still going) it's hard to argue that excursions as a whole have gotten a lot safer. Still have to think that the government should have allowed the option for classical use of extremely strong vines that dangled from clouds. Would have saved a lot of lives. My Dad told me stories of swinging across some of the massive canyons back in the day and it sounds amazing. Glad to see that some of the old canyons in the jungles up and around Staffordshire and Dorset are being opened up to the public again to bring in tourists and for experience days. Wonder if that'll boost the zombie pirate numbers. Anyway, it was good to reminisce. If you're ever crossing a jungle canyon rope bridge I mean, obvious first; be careful but also, y'know, just remember your history. And if yu see any mystery investigating teenagers, give them a little shove over the edge, they'll probably try t accuse you of something and fondle your face like you;re wearing a mask. Rampant LSD use. Cheers.

Fucking brilliant.

Long walk to that joke

Uh I'm pretty sure that was Ratko Mladic you saw

The long journey was worth it..... brilliant!!!!

It was a reflection.

not to mention the genocide.

I saw this tour live too. I didn't know what to expect as I just went along with a friend. He didn't do many jokes. I guess he just chose not to.

@@jazzzzdude underrated comment lol

@@0228christian that's it. Just give it to me straight.

Is it though, or are you just saying that because he said it was his favourite part and you want to seem clever.

@@dandimascio99 No, it's because I think it's genuinely a very funny sentence. Why would I want to seem clever in a RU-vid comment? lol

I preferred the bit when he said "dog" in a high voice

"The shareholders' dividends were ringfenced against pirate zombie infestation" has to be the greatest sentence I've ever heard. . Yeah well perhaps if your investment margins had been decimated by the foetid ranks of the buccaneering undead, while the fat cats sauntered past in their ringenced palm-frond canoes, you might not think it was quite so great. *No offence, I'm just saying.*

The weakest part of the whole routine imo

YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT A LOT!

You're like Stewart Lee. On drugs.

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐈𝐓 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐓

It really got me when he said (I think the first time) dog in a high pitched voice and people laughed at it, for a second a look passed of his face and he looked absolutely furious

...I find myself doing that now, since I found it recently. Seems to get better every time

it’s a masterpiece of a comedy routine, very well written and performed.

It won't be long before it starts to let itself go.

He gives it straight.....like a pear cider made from 100% PEAR...i saw the advert!

Just a one big massive pear?

its not called pear cider its called Perry

@@clivepeacock Hate to be the party pooper, but thats the joke... Railing against the advert that got the actual thing wrong in the first place

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-5KNGDZhoRyA.html

I lve in Australia, and it's my favourite bit of stand up by a long way...hysterical and socially relevant.

i`m from austria and i love english stand up`s...... steward lee, ricky gervais, dylan moran, bill bailey

Yep, I come here every 6months or so and am astonished to still crack up like the 1st time, yeeears ago...😊

Do you remember all the jungle canyon rope bridges?

I didn’t realise that. And, to think, he’d have gotten away with it too, if it hadn’t been for you. Thank you.

We could all say that he is bloody brilliant but we choose not to.

No, you're thinking of Michael McIntosh. And don't forget the Russels.

@@jazzzzdude Brand & ... Peters?

If you mean Stewart Lee's greatest stand-up, then you might be correct, but as far as greatest stand-up comedians I think he's like 41st or 42nd best. I rate him much higher than that, but I guess that's like an average.

And I'm a jungle canyon rope bridge, mate

Well I laughed at it even though I agreed with it. AND I'm from Guildford.

tchah, of course pirates know about personal piratical equipment

And I suppose you only watched this video because friend showed it to you.

Is that why there is someone dressed up as a vampire who is terrorising nearby jungle canyon rope bridges in your area?

Ha, nice one

Nelson Sweatyballs don’t come all class war with me When my father lost his jungle canyon rope bridge in the great jungle canyon rope bridge recession of the 1970s...he didn’t riot. He didn’t run in and out of doors down a long corridor. He just got in his van and looked for a new jungle canyon rope bridge

That's anywhere - everyone gets it at some point.

Then you'll have to go with a friend who doesn't know who Stew is. Also you will have to laugh at the wrong bits or not at all. You could heckle him by saying it's not funny and you were expecting some jokes.

@Days Kay I think it's 'gobshite' and 'by far' - just the rules of spelling mate - not my opinion - lol!!! Also, who the fuck is Paul Foot??

@ Gabe Thornes: Agreed, and it's amazing how your extremely understated and nuanced comment has provoked such a visceral reaction (possibly from a conservative 'snowflake' ??!!)

honeychurchgipsy6 water under the bridge mate. Unfortunately nuance doesn’t get anyone far in online forums anymore. Amazing how full caps-lock renders even the most sincere comments comical

The formal symmetry of this show, both between the first & second acts and within each act, is just stunning.

@@mfeltes - I think it is his OPUS. Went to see him earlier this year - his Snowflake Tornado show. The structure of it was even tighter than this - call backs to earlier stories etc. He does a whole Alan Bennet skit that is genius, but the best bit for me was when a heckler in the balcony complained that he was going on too long (he was acting out the everyday life of someone working a mundane job in an office - going through each day of the week) - his response was 'I'm going to add two more days to the sketch' - which he proceeded to do with all the tedious repetition he could muster!!

I won't negotiate with them

JCW4Life. LOL

Well, you know, most of those direct-to-video ‘90s scooby doo films had actual monsters but you’re right, Zombie Island is easily the best of them. Then again, Alien Invasion had some banging music and Witch’s Ghost had Tim Curry so you win some you lose some

@@maxobyrne1474 Great, now I NEED to see Witch's Ghost. Love Tim Curry

..and they would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those pesky kids.

Frankie Boyle rehashes the same material endlessly. It's fun to watch him taking the piss out of a 12 year old kid the first few times, but after awhile...it just gets dull.

Lydia wow...

Did Frankie Boyle invent that line, or was it one of the 3 scriptwriters he uses?

different comedians, telling jokes.....

Frankie Boyle has actually let himself go

Oh we dreamed of a ditch. We had to use our neighbour's ditch by walking uphill - both ways!

You were lucky to have a neighbour's ditch to borrow! We had to dig shallow foxholes with our bare hands and then join them all up!

You are lucky you had a spade, we had to cut our own skin off and stitch it together into a makeshift shelter whilst crawling about in our own blood whilst pretending it was a ditch.

Makeshift shelter made from your own skin? Warm and wet from yer own blood wazzit? Luuxury! We used to have to force feed doughnuts to our youngest brother ,doughnuts that we had to shoplift, because Dad was made redundant from his position as rope bridge maintenance man, in the 80's by Tory cuts, under Thatcher. We'd shove doughnuts into poor little Timmy's face for months till he weighed over a 1000 lbs., and was about 3 meters wide. Then we had to haul him down to nearest slaughter house, sneak him in, in the middle of night, freeze him up nice and stiff, and as we didn't want to make noise using the power cutters, we had to use pocket knives to slice him neatly as possible down the middle and use him as a canyon. It was fuukin freezing in that jungle island canyon of ours, under Thatcher and Tory cuts, in the 80's.

You are lucky to have ditches. When I was growing up in the 80s, we had to dig our own potholes 28 hours a day.

LIKE!

Correct

Christ

Did you type that comment in character?

If i recall correctly, he's amalgamating two episodes, one about zombies and one about jungle canyons, etc... hopefully you can find that one, too 😎

* You meant "All the fault of Thatcher!"

That was brilliant satire in 2014. :\

@@LordmonkeyTRM this was an original response in 2018

Stew could use that as a tagline for his next tour. "The stand up who puts you to sleep every night."

@@jazzzzdude very specific lol

@@jazzzzdude He could do that, but he chooses not to.

I agree the hell out of him.

Surely you must agree that the infestation of pirate zombies in the 80s was solely down to privatization though? I mean, hes bang on there.

+olliegalli1234 We used to have free canyon rope bridges but now they are all toll canyon rope bridges. Mud huts are getting smaller, Teenagers don't solve crimes with their dogs (dawgs !!?) any more.

He's on the Nth layer of irony.

Who the fuck is Stuart Lee? This guy's brother? And what is a "fucking amazing"? This comment is a fucking puzzling.

That is the absolute zenith of that joke - it can be stopped now. Thank you.

Lee attracts a better class of troll.

Is she in oil?

Stewart Lee's army Stewart Lee's army

Tanita tikaram is making a comeback

No he's not, hes let himself go

Ha-ha, that’s a funny observation!

The pinnacle of Stews career. When he has no material and no jokes but still manages to go on and on for too long.

​@@jazzzzdudeand yet, people laugh. A mystery indeed an a stand-up comedy show😂

Not even a real hamster.

hahaha gypsies, can i have my milk now daddy?

No, it wasn't, that's not true. But I think that the notion that it MIGHT have been Richard 'The Hamster' Hammond tells us something about him that IS true. Not that he's a real hamster, mind. Because he isn't.