Still Single? Do This | Lesson 3 of Flying Solo | Study with Lisa Bevere 

@@nyamburat2116 I appreciate the intent of your message. I think you mean well, but I have to say, I really don’t appreciate it when people ask if I’ve made an “idol” out of marriage. No, I haven’t. I don’t want marriage more than I want to be obedient to God, and no the desire for a relationship doesn’t consume me. And yes, I can “submit” and don’t mind looking out for my husbands needs - if ever I have one. I see marriage as a tool for our sanctification. Two imperfect sinful people doing life together and humbly aiming to be refined into Christ’s image. If I were putting marriage above God, there are men I could have dated (who didn’t share my values or faith - or more disheartening said they were believers but wanted to live contrary to the faith). However, I’m not willing to compromise on the things that really matter - like shared faith, mutual submission to God’s will/leading, etc… Suggesting that a person who has a Holy (and God given) longing might be “making an idol” of marriage is not helpful. I think it perpetuates this false idea that if we are “Holy enough” God will give us a perfect spouse - and that’s just not true. How many people have defied God’s will and have great marriages and beautiful families? We are not promised a perfect spouse/life/etc.. if we “do all the right things.” It doesn’t work that way. In fact, it’s very similar to the “prosperity doctrine” for relationships - a heresy. I think what is more helpful is to allow singles the freedom to be real about the hardships of unwanted singleness’s or childlessness and also provide supports to help singles learn how to date well and opportunities to connect with like-minded people where meaningful friendships (and prospective relationships) could be formed.

​@@alexissashanicolle8675 dude I agree with every single word you just said from start to finish!!! Im 27 and have never dated and gosh there is so much I can add and shake hands with toy on whatbyou communicated. One of the worst things I have ever heard in my.lofe in relation to marriage is "pursue God and it'll happen".....bruh that's lile saying if I'm jobless just pursue God and you will get a job.....ummm no you need to look for that and put yourself out there. There is so much room for the practicalities of dating that should be taught in the church instead were just taught that piety will leade us to a spouse. Piety can help and prepare you but dude if we don't know what it means or looks like to date, have conversations, communicate etc, relationships won't happen. I think you are right on the money on this issue. Also feelnfree to find me.on IG 😎 @eugenenunnf22

@@eugenenunn4900 Thanks!

@@alexissashanicolle8675 hey. No really everything you said was truth. I am so sorry that you're in the circumstances you're in but you have a very beautiful heart

Thank you for bringing a nuance to the conversation here that isn't emotionally dismissive, much needed in my opinion.

Have you seen Devon Franklin recent video on singleness, you will feel inspire , God bless

@@beverlyburton258 I'll look it up!

Very true

So true

Amen! They really do!

I know how it feels. I turned 39 in April and it's been hard.

I'm with you. Will be 39 in November. It truly hurts. But I think you are right in that being productive, serving and using your gifts...etc. All we can do is keep on trucking and keep our heads up 🤷 and keep on smiling.

@@anndiestephen7671 Thanks

@@kimberlyturner820 I'm going to volunteer again in my church's summer camp, and I'm excited for that :) I pray God helps us.

@@mayebouee8099 I think there's nothing wrong with asking God why, because as His child you are given freedom to voice your heart in all honesty and affliction. Psalm 25 talks about being lonely and afflicted. To deny your feelings isn't healthy either. He can handle the real, raw, and even angry. But, at the end of the day, we were made for Him, and we don't fully see that yet in heart.. Of course I later say sorry for being angry, but he gets it. No suffering is in vain. I gotta keep telling myself that too

Omg I so needed this. Thanks for sharing!

👏👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌👍✝️💟🛐

Hi do you see the words But I suffer not a woman to teach, found written in 1 Timothy 2:12? 1 Timothy 2:12King James Version12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. Amen.

@@Dale65378 they are both women.

At that church women were disrupting the teaching of God. It was a letter to a church by Paul. Paul also commended the teaching of women in other parts of the Bible. Please don’t disrupt the teaching of God.

Father God I pray that you surround Victoria with people that will be iron sharpening iron in her life and keep her away from any unequal yoking or schemes of the devil. Break off every lie from her life, and may she find fulfillment in you, and may the light of Jesus shining in her continue to attract both ministry and relationships. In the name of Jesus I pray.

@@SRose-vp6ew Yes 🙌🏻 and Amen 🙏🏻 thank you for your prayers God hears our prayers hallelujah thank you Jesus 🙌🏻🙌🏻❤️🙌🏻🙌🏻

Same!

We have about the same story! I'm 33, and I thought I'd have married my boyfriend when I was 29, but things went south and I was really heartbroken for the first time in my life. Turns out that the breakup was the best gift that guy gave me because now that I know better, I know I'd have regretted being in that marriage. As Lisa said, I also discovered that my finances needed serious attention. I'm doing way better in that area now; I'm so glad I'm not taking financial illiteracy with me into marriage.

@@eloquencewithabimbola God bless you! Turns out we needed that chapter to hone ourselves to be the best version we can be and to know God gives us challenges that we can beat with His help💓

Perhaps 1 Corinthians 7:32-38 describes Paul’s perspective on the “struggle” better, though he himself doesn’t seem to have this struggle(1 Corinthians 7:7-9).

good point! there's the ideal and then reality...

Its alot of responsibility. He had the other disciples, and the Holy Spirit

Wait; what Scripture are you referencing?

They might go through hell, but won't end up in there.

@@Reynier239some have died while in marriage. They have chosen wrong mate and the mates end their lives. What reality do you live in? Others are left with psychological scars that take a long time to heal. It’s not worth to rush.

Maybe singles could do a podcast on how to make your marriage better.