Young or old we hit the point where we aren’t willing to be hurt by Mean Girls anymore. Walk Away #women_issues #womeninbusiness #womensupportingwomen #lifestyle #friendship #meangirls #meanwomen
I was in nursing school and I figured out real quick it wasn't for me. The instructors were mean, the students were mean and the nurses were mean. I switched my major. I didn't want to live my life in that type of environment. Plus, I have a sister-in-law that's a nurse and she's mean, too. I don't know if nursing turns people into to that or if that type of personality is attracted to nursing
Some of the most toxic people I have ever dealt with were nurses. If I told you about my experiences, you would swear I was talking about outright criminals. I don't know what drew them to that field unless it's money alone because I have rarely met people so predatory.
@@persiamotorman I worked in an engineering office and most of the females were so vicious. They claimed to go to church. I guess they were sleeping during the service. Liars, backstabbers, tattlers, two-faced. It was just awful.
I've always been a lone wolf empath type. Just the other day, I went for an interview and met with the owner of the business. It went fine, he was very nice, polite and answered all my questions. Afterwards when the interview was over with, the general manager was just outside his office (a female) and she pretty much gave me the look of death...well, more like a "glare" with of course no smile. I've experienced this throughout my life since childhood. There have been a few men who have given me grief, but the women were by far the main ones who loved to hate. It's sad really more for them than for me. I'm also at that point in my life where enough is enough. If I smell rotten fish, I stay the "H" away from them all. Something is definitely missing in their lives when they have so much resentment for certain other people.
I used to work with this female and she bullied me the entire time. Give me dirty looks, tell lies on me, etc. I have no idea why she had that much hate for me. People like that hate themselves. And they want to destroy other decent people
I’ve had bosses that were mean girls and bullies. They were put in positions they were not qualified for and they knew it and were always trying to prove to themselves that they were better and smarter than everybody”under” them. Such a shame. They made so many people miserable for no reason. Get rid of the mean girls and life goes back to normal.
@@tina8796 Tina, it's that "jezebel spirit" at work. Quite evil but it's definitely a spirit that has truly taken over some people. My test is to separate that spirit from the people it invades. It's demonic for sure. Some people make it quite easy for that spirit to invade them and then they project it outward. They are merely hosts for the demon and they don't even realize what they are doing to others. Since they are clueless, they just continue carrying out satan's plans. One doesn't need to be into the Bible or "religion" it's quite clear in our faces for the most part.
Gossiping is a huge red flag 🚩 for me. If I hear A talking bad behind B’s back I am sure they are probably talking bad about me too. I don’t make a fuss. I don’t ask for an explanation. I simply walk away from them, whatever they are: coworkers, colleagues, family, neighbors, better be by myself than surrounded by poisonous snakes 🐍.
So true! I started to learn that if someone starts talking to me about someone else, they are likely to talk about ME to someone else. An instant red flag for sure!
Got rid of two low-key haters / mean girls out of my life not too long ago. Got tired of their snide / backhanded comments, etc. They claim they don't know why I got rid of them. Really ? ? ? They KNOW. I'm almost 60 years old and I don't have time for high school baloney. Jealous old bats. When you catch people giving you dirty looks and smarting off to you, etc., then you know it's time to pull the plug
I've gotten rid of certain people in my life who claimed not to know why I did so even though it should be obvious. I think that comes from their extreme self absorption. That's the root of their nastiness, lack of empathy and reneging on promises etc to begin with.
You are talking my language. And somehow you are always the one in the wrong. As I’ve realized, how can I be this happy away from them if they were such a ‘caring’ friend?
I couldn’t believe when this so called friend brought up the fact that SHE deserved to make the cheer squad (( in 1976)) instead of me!!!!! …Like, you even think about something like that? I have been married for 42 years, birthed and raised four sons and now how 8 grandkids! Woman! Get a LIFE!!
I’m a guy and this came in my recommended videos for some reason and I gave it a watch. No regrets but I have to say there are some mean GUYS as well. They can be even worse than girls when it comes to whining, bitching and gossiping. Some people are just naturally ignorant, cliquey and sometimes not every personality will get along. Just cut them out completely, you don’t need that stress in your life and you don’t deserve it either. I’d way rather have zero friends than have fair weather friends or friends out of convenience. Sometimes you just have to be OK with NOT making the cut. Less stress and life is way too short to put up with any bull 💩, that is my two cents worth. Have a great day and respect and love yourselves to anyone who is reading all the comments in this post.🙂
Unfortunately, I am related to a mean girl that is very narcissistic. She married my brother and did everything she could to separate him from our family. It worked. When my Mother died she transferred all her venom to me.
I needed this one! My so called 'best' friend is a mean girl. I realized that more and more this year when my husband and I spent three months, 8 hours from our home, for him to get chemo and radiation treatment. All I asked of her was to check in with on occasion. Not a peep! The last day of treatment I get this chirpy text, "how are you, isn't the treatments done today?" I finally answered, "I am fine. Yes, they are. We head home when he is done." Nothing more. And now three weeks later, back at home, I get a little Marco Polo message: "Haven't heard from you. Blah blah blah." I don't even want to answer. All I have got from her is breadcrumbs and crickets. We got through the most hellish part of our lives, and where is my so called friend who I have stuck with through all her crap? All she will get from me is breadcrumbs and crickets. If I do reply it is going to be a short, "we are good. Glad to be home. Have a nice Memorial Day weekend." I actually feel this incredible freedom from her negativity. Btw, he is doing great and beat a very serious head and neck cancer! My hero. And he has told me for years how awful she is. It just peeves me that at 59 years old, I am finally understanding I don't have to be friends with people who drag me down. Thank you for this video! Preach it!!!!❤❤❤ Edited: it was listening to this video that opened my eyes to so may of these things you mention, that I just put up with. I did reply to her Marco Polo just now, quick and short: I am off for run before it was windy. Yep, we are home and glad to be so. Have a great holiday weekend and good hearing from you." I think that is okay and appropriate. I won't ghost her but my replies will be short with zero information about us for her to share. As my South African family would say, "it's all lekker bru." And truly, it IS all lekker!
Going through challenging times/ health issues is often a time when people show their true colours. It sounds wise to not share any information with her, you may be very glad you made that decision. Even if you did ghost her I think that would be totally justified. Your husband is doing great and that's all that matters! You don't need to waste time or energy on that silly woman.
Good for you! I'm 57 and had a friend whose back I always had since we started hanging out when we were both pregnant. When her kids were old enough to not need me to babysit them all the time, she moved on! I supported her through her divorce, watched her cheat on her 2nd husband, walk away from me when I was talking mid-sentence, disrupt my relationship with my older daughter, the list goes on! Then she ultimately kicked me to the curb because she heard that I had an issue with a teacher at the school which resulted in that teacher being asked to leave (she did). The teacher happened to be on the roller derby team with my "friend". I didn't hear from the friend for several years, and now every time I see her she acts as if we're still friends. She keeps inviting me to do things, and I always reply "Sorry, I already have plans". What are my plans? Not hanging out with her! Haha!
Sounds like we have all been there! All I keep thinking is it was never about me, they were always unhappy, unfulfilled and unkind. They were using me to be their punching bag and I mistook it for them ‘needing’ me. Thanks for sharing
Thank you all for your kind replies. I just had the best run I have had in a long time, I feel so free and unburdened. I did go through a period of grief over the loss the of the friendship, but I realized I was grieving for what I had hoped it would have been, not what it really was. I had been angry at myself for putting up with her all these years, but that anger is released and I am being kinder to myself. To be able to walk away, quietly, no big drama, has been good for me. I won't ever contact her, should we come across each other, I will be cordial. I just wish it didn't take me so long to finally say enough is enough. I wouldn't wish what my husband and I went through on anyone, but I can say we had the best time together and met the most amazing people, and you don't go through cancer not changed in some way. Sadly, she will never get to hear the incredible stories of amazing people and healing we encountered along the way. (She sees herself as some sort reiki, mind guru, healer, etc.) Anyways, thank you all and blessings!
Firstly thank you for the Marco Polo term. I’ve never known what to call those messages. And I agree with you completely regarding your ‘friend’. I am so glad for you and my husband. Sadly I can’t say the same for me and mine. He died last May 1 (2023). People I expected to come up to bat, the few family I have, and old friend of both of us, and old colleague I was like this with , my oldest friend from elementary school, even the pallbearers. I heard nothing from any of them then about six weeks after a cousin texted something but no mention of what I was going through. And a little after that the old friend sent this on FB “Has your account been hacked?” (It sort of had). BUT, my closest friend from my teen years (we had become estranged for stupid reasons) was on the phone the minute she (she said she didn’t care if I appreciated it or not, she just had to reach out. We’ve never been closer). And two of my husband’s oldest friends have kept in touch with me constantly and even managed to get me out of the house a few times. I live in a small village and my husband was a genial guy. Everyone in our area knew him and his wee dog (she died 5 days after him). I had people coming to the door just to check in. The 3 ladies that run the local shop have ‘adopted’ me and three fellas fix anything I need help with. I discovered I had friends I didn’t know I had. And the ones I thought I had, but don’t, Marco Polo. Continued health to your husband and treasure what you have, don’t waste a thought for those undeserving of your time.
The majority of bullying is narcissistic abuse. Narcissists launch sustained attacks (bullying) against people they are threatened by, people who have seen who they really are. These attacks, which they often enlist others to participate in, are designed to discredit the witness. When you know this, they are pathetic.
@@laurahillauthor I find this shift is super helpful -- if you are a victim of narcisissitic abuse, you are often referred to as "the victim of their abuse." But what's really instructive is to understand, why you? They are discrediting you because you have seen who they are, and in the darkest recesses of their mind they are riddled with self-loathing. You don't have to actually witness anything significant, only be someone who doesn't yield to them, which they understand means that you don't buy the version of them they sell. This is enough for them to want to discredit you. They hate to be seen for who they are. There's some real benefit, i think, in understanding that's the dynamic. Thanks for your video. Very thought provoking.
I call them the Cluster-B Hive. I have a small quota in my life for these women, and only because I have to come into contact with them as part of my job!
I was good friends with a woman from our former job, a little over 11 yrs. We were on opposite ends of the political spectrum and decided to not talk politics and to agree to disagree. Last phone call we had with each other and she berates me for saying something about how my daughter and husband will eventually homeschool their daughter. She immediately screamed at me as if I said something about killing someone, called me an a**ho*e and hung up on me. That was the last time we talked and that was about 4 months ago. Weirdness. Not sure where that came from but perhaps she was needing an excuse to not be friends anymore. Whatever.......
I'm sorry that happened. had 2 similar experiences with people where everything had been fine for 10yrs+ . Don't know what's in the water now but I miss pre covid people
The worst gut punch is loosing a meaningful friendship out of nowhere. I think a lot of women have no outlet for their frustration with their personal life and store up so much resentment, one day they just POP and unfortunately you took the brunt of it. But I wish I understood why some women have to burn the whole relationship down. Sorry that happened to you. Happened here too!
Refreshing and true! I just thank God I a an introvert and don't 'need' to be around others...because I have had my own share of meangirls who were nurses, church women's group members, neighbors, 'friends' or even friends of friends, relatives, etc. As an introvert it is probably easier for me to just stay away bc I am not very social, always have projects to do and books to read, movies to watch. But still it makes me wonder why the mean girls 'need' to be mean?
Nurses and churches really seem to get lots of them! I'm an introvert too, but I find this makes me a target because the mean girls feel I don't give them enough respect and attention. I think my independence is perceived as a threat to them. Or maybe I just look like a target who won't stand up for herself. I was bullied by a mob of woman at my gym until I went to management 4x and they finally realized I wasn't going to let it go until they stopped it. It really took a lot out of me.
Please give an example of what the mean girls have said or done? Just curious because sometimes I'm not totally sure when someone is being sneaky, mean, and subtlety disrespectful. It's sometimes not so obvious, at least at first.
I'm coming to this age myself. Have been maltreated by them my whole life. Just because I don't group in from the scratch, don't care for gossip and love the individuality. Enough!
I guess we find mean girls everywhere. Too many woman have a tough time with other women. I like to be alone, like you and that has helped a lot. I don’t think I’m and introvert but I do know I’m happy to steer clear of drama❤
I have been dealing with this for several years from a bunch of moms from my daughter’s elementary school. We met over 20 years ago, and there have been multiple problems ever since. Women just can’t seem to act properly if there is even one mean girl in the mix. It’s craziness. I’m not in high school anymore, I refuse to get caught up in the drama and I am happy, and truthfully relieved, to be on the outs! Buh bye! 👋
Good for you!! I tried so hard to fit in for so long that I wore myself out. I desperately wanted to fit in so my daughter would have friends and be ‘accepted’. What a lot of wasted time.
@@laurahillauthormy daughter fit in okay, their problem apparently is with me. I am not one for confrontations, however, I am also not one to shmooze and lie and pretend to be nice and friendly while wielding a knife behind my back. The good news is now my daughter is 27, she’s learned a LOT of lessons from all of this, and she’s got a lot of close friends who are actually nice. What a blessing. I will also note that I have many friends of my own, outside of this group. My BFF is someone I have known since the second grade, and most of the others are from high school or just afterwards, so my real friends are keepers. I never really felt the need to be best friends with any of these women. That probably didn’t help the fauxships in their non-development, but it sure saved my sanity!
Great video topic. I find there's very little information out there about adult mean girls, and more importantly, how to deal with them. My problem with the mean girls is not that I want to be friends with them, it's that they tend to inject themselves into positions of power and control the group dynamic in things I want to participate in. They run the schools, workplaces, the gym, clubs, neighborhood communities, so if you avoid them, you miss out on the stuff you have every right to participate in, and they know it! They're also vicious in their smear campaigns, which means perfectly lovely people that you may want to know some day may hear something about you before they've met you, or before you've interviewed for the job. Bullies bully because it works and it is tremendously difficult to combat a mob of people intent on smearing your reputation.
This is a topic I need to dig in to more. You are so right. They take over leadership and push the rest of us out simply because we don’t want to deal with them. I’ll get going on this thanks!!
@@laurahillauthor yay! can't wait! I read the book Queen Bees & Wannabes, which is about kid girl bullies, and there was some valuable insight, but as for adults, I think reading about the Dark Triad or Tetrad personality traits is helpful. It's usually a head narcissist surrounded by her flying monkeys, who are usually very insecure people that seek the approval and attention of the Queen Bee in hopes of gaining self esteem and protection.
Mean girls are narcissists and borderlines. How do I know? I have them in my own toxic family. I experienced hell with my sisters in law. One in particular who became insanely jealous of me when I was engaged before she was. She tried to sabotage my engagement party. I later learned that she was also catty with one of her best friends when the bestie got engaged. The best friend confronted her over it and the friendship ended. Sis in law acted like none of it was her fault. She was not only mean to me but also to her husband's female cousins. She only keeps around women who are less attractive and have troubled lives. It makes her look and feel better about herself. I'm just glad I haven't seen or spoken to that harpy in over a decade.
So agree with you! Women are terrible at supporting eachother, I’ve been guilty of seeing another woman as a threat!!?? Thank heavens a mentor took me aside and told me I was only hurting my own career.
I am probably high-functioning autistic/Aspergers (my son is, my DD self-diagnosed, and reading her books a LOT of things sounded like how I was growing up too). My family moved when I was in junior high, and for a year and a half I didn't have any girl friends (though I became friends with a couple of gifted boys in my very small class). Finally in high school I made friends with another girl, and was friendly with her BFF. We got together when I was home from college the first couple of years, but then I started working my way through college and rarely got back to visit. I was in a male-dominated field, and other than my college boyfriend, his friends, and some older coworkers (a married couple, the married woman who lived next door, and some older male coworkers), I didn't have friends. It didn't help that it took me 5 years to graduate while working full time 6-8 months out of the year. Then my high school friend died (cancer). I got married and moved (ironically, back to the state where I was born), then moved to another state a few years later. Again, made some friends at work, and neighbors, but even after we had kids I didn't click with the other moms. Then we moved again (back to my home town). But with my best friend no longer with us, I didn't have any contacts here except my family (parents and an aunt/uncle only 10 years older than I am). Still didn't click with the moms of my kids' classmates - though my son was in Boy Scouts and well-liked, he didn't have many close friends (only 1 that he has kept in touch with through college, though both are living with their parents now). I tried becoming a Girl Scout leader for my DD and her classmates, but there was a co-leader who accused me of sending emails about her to the other moms, I never figured out what that was about (the only emails I sent were to get missing information for the registration forms, since I was in possession of the paper forms, and one where a mom had an idea for a project she said she'd mentioned to the co-leader when she bumped into her in the grocery store, so I said Great, bring it up at the next meeting). She even called me and had a regional rep on the line (initially without my knowledge) when she started ranting about my emails! So I just quit. Life's too short to work with someone like that, especially in a volunteer position. I'm sure she told stories to all the other moms - I found another troop one town over for my DD to join, though she ended up dropping out because she wasn't in school with those girls (one was my cousin's kid) and they pretty much ignored her. Same thing - she had a friend group in school from grades 5-8, but she decided to go to a different high school, and one girl actually told her she was a dead weight and she wasn't going to even try to stay in touch if they weren't in the same school. That really hurt her - and being the new girl in a big school grade 9 was as hard on her as moving to a small town in grade 7 was for me. She had a falling out with her BFF there too. At least her friend group from theater seems to get together when they're home from college, though she isn't coming home this summer so we'll have to see if they drop her too. At least she seems to have found a real BFF in college (who happens to have ADHD, so they understand each other). I hope that becomes a life-long friendship. I'm afraid I won't have anyone once my mom, her brother and SIL pass away.
Could not agree more with the idea of starving mean girls of attention and validation.🙌🏻 I’m a girls’ girl, but I still despise the mean ones and refuse to associate with them. I even unfriend them on social media once I figure them out.
Thank you so much for this! You are having my back on a decision I made to quietly shut down a friendship. She is 62 ,bitter and loves planning her digs. She is all alone with only her cat for company. Enjoy that!
This is kinda off topic but you have a voice that's so eloquent and soothing to listen to. You sound like you could be on TV and have your own cooking show😂. But likewise I agree I had to drop a group of women because they gossiped too much. Everytime I would walk up to the group they would go silent and start giggling as if I caught them talking about me. I got fed up and confronted them and that's when their real nasty side came out. Finding the courage to drop them was hard but now I feel so empowered 😊.
Oh boy, my Mom is 89 and we have a relationship that is challenging. I am talking to soooo many women that have mean girl issues with their elderly moms. I’d like to do some videos on that.
My theory is that moms are usually the OG Mean Girl ™️. If you find yourself always being pushed out by insecure, competitive women, if you find yourself in that situation repeatedly, chances are your mom was the original insecure competitive one, and you’re just reproducing the same template with all female relationships.
@@lililangtry1881 I don’t think that’s always the case. I have a sister and brother. My brother was always one to take advantage of people including my parents. It seemed like it was just his nature and he has never changed. I think some people are born difficult and yes others are raised difficult.
Going through this myself now and i find it absolutely disgusting behaviour... shes always slagging off someone on Facebook, its my turn now...I'm not on Facebook but yet shes saying horrible stuff about me on there... hopefully people can see through her, but its horrible because i cant defend myself as I'm not on there....how pathetic they are to do this.
So good! I joined lawn bowls in my suburb for some exercise and social activity. Never in my life have I experienced such toxicity and meanness from some of the women. I had to walk away. The bullying was unbelievable. 😒
This started for me in primary school. I preferred to be alone or with my precious friend than with anyone who treated me badly. I’m lucky to not have to be a fake self. I can still be friendly but toxic friends are a no go. 😁
I think as little girls we are told that we need lots of friends, that just doesn’t work because we will never be a perfect match for ‘lots’ of other girls. Love that you had a precious friend. That’s what is so important
I subscribed. Great channel. Wish I'd had this when I began my life, since this has been a lifelong bully battle from childhood into adulthood. Thank you
@@laurahillauthor Thank you for your compassion. If I had the inner tools to handle the bullies during those times, I'd be further ahead, but hey, we do what we are able to at the time with the knowledge that we have. I'm now older and wiser. I know what I refuse to tolerate and that goes for "on the job" issues as well. I will not be bullied. Bottom line. Sometimes, it has been a sacrifice financially, but it's a soul issue for me and if it's not good for my soul, then how could it EVER be good at all? We are all here for a very brief time even though when we're younger, we think we'll live forever....newsflash....UH-UH. God Bless All. Deuces.
We had a mean girl who had her horse at our barn…we all realised slowly exactly what she was…she was told to leave…and has since been to many other barns. So many people have stories about her….
Honestly this is exactly why I started this channel. 👏🏻👏🏻I felt like I was all alone but the more I spoke to other women I realized there are so many of us.
I'm 67, and all my friends, through every stage of life, have been wonderful, and still are. I've never had a problem with mean, gossipy women. The only place I've run into them, is underlings at work. They are the less educated women, coming from disadvantaged backgrounds, who have built up resentment about life, and let it turn them mean. I fired every one of them that I caught being mean or gossipy. I fired a gossipy man once, as well. As a business owner, I hate being in a negative environment, and anybody who doesn't stay positive at my business, gets fired.
Well it definitely is important to have an atmosphere in your office where gossip doesn’t take over. I’ve seen it ruin a lot of businesses. Mean comes from a lot of different places. So glad you have wonderful girlfriends. I think most women are truly kind.
My favorite!! We rescued two border collies a few years ago and my mom gifted my husband and I two border collie mugs My mom has several but this is the only pattern I have☕️
I guess I’ve never had a ‘mean girl’ friendship. Some of my long-term friendships since I’d had from back in my school days faded over time, but that’s because we changed, our lives took us in different directions. Women compete a lot for men and that makes some women insecure and jealous, but that’s par for the course. We live in a patriarchal society and until we change that to an equal society we will be in competition with each other. I thought your video was harsh. I hate it when women talk ‘stuff’ about other women. Look within and grow. ✌️
I get your perspective. I want to start a conversation because my hope is that we raise/mentor the next generation of women to lift other women up and with that raise all women up. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I really appreciate it. Good conversation always has multiple points of view. Hopefully my videos as a whole offer lots of different points of view
