Stop Being A Low Value Man

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Today's topic dives deep into the idea of 'low-value males.' Join us as we dissect this concept, unraveling the myths from the reality. In this video, we scrutinize the misleading aspects of this ideology, shedding light on what's genuine and what's merely misconceived.
Learn more from Dr. K in his Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/45NirwY
Work with a Healthy Gamer Coach certified on Dr. K's curriculum: bit.ly/3Q318lG
Through this discussion, we aim to empower individuals by debunking stereotypes and offering insights on embracing a healthier self-image. Tune in to learn how to break free from societal pressures and foster a more authentic, positive perspective
Not sure which module to start on? Take our quiz: bit.ly/47dGzKj
▼ Timestamps ▼
────────────
00:09 - The low value man isn’t BS
02:04 - Why is the red pill “Manosphere” growing?
05:38 - What makes a man a low value male
08:25 - Where does the shame come from?
10:14 - Exploring dating app statistics
13:55 - How to stop being a low value man
15:50 - Reducing your red pill content
18:18 - Get off dating apps
20:00 - The emergence of third spaces
────────────
DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved one are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
#healthygamergg #lifeadvice #lowvaluemale

Опубликовано:

20 сен 2023

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Комментарии : 3,3 тыс.

@BrianZappia 8 месяцев назад

I think the problem of the human brain not being designed for a 600:1 rejection to acceptance ratio applies to job applications every bit as much as it does to dating apps.

@gnoogie 8 месяцев назад

which is a pretty men-specific problem more often than not when it comes to dating. the average woman doesn't have to put up with nearly as much rejection as the average man

@guillermorelobalopez7553 8 месяцев назад

Who the f is out there applying to 600 different jobs in a month though? I actually think in "ye olden days" going business door to business door asking if they need any extra hands you'd get more rejections than nowadays tbh.

@SimonClarkstone 8 месяцев назад

By analogy, you would need to get off the job-dating sites and go meet jobs in the real world. (Which isn't what I did.) But I remember supposed good advice all over the Internet that the easiest job search comes through having connections. (Myself, I noticed a company that looked intriguing was hiring, found I was comically underqualified for the role, then noticed that there was some kind of job website hosting the job advert and it had job listings. This was after a useless year with a recruiter who wasn't scummy but mostly only had jobs that I wasn't a match for.)

@gabbsdy8741 8 месяцев назад

@@gnoogieWe have to deal with unwanted attention. it is traumatizing. We dont feel safe.Many of us think of man as predators. It makes many of us hate man. And run away even as far as possible to protect ourselves.

@williamboisdenghien2849 8 месяцев назад

@@guillermorelobalopez7553 You wouldn't be rejected by an automated chatbot you can't respond to, can't get feedback from, can't change your presentation or style out of it. If you go in physically you can get clues and responses. Filing in a form and you just send data. If you already have a history of rejection it's soul crushing.

@SeanLuse 8 месяцев назад

I had this therapist one time who was very gritty. I remember complaining to him that I didn't date and all my friends did and I didn't know why. He straight up told me, "you aren't particularly good looking and you aren't particularly ugly, you're very average. You're part of a large group, maybe 90% of men, who are average, you aren't unique in that way. So how many women have you asked out?" And I replied.... "well none". And he said, "well, that's your problem". I actually really liked this answer, it put agency over my dilemma in my hands and let me know I didn't have barriers to overcoming my problem except myself.

@YashhC 8 месяцев назад

As a therapist, he probably shouldn't say that unless you said all of it yourself first, you neither being ugly nor good looking😂

@Nickodemo1st 8 месяцев назад

How did you not realize earlier if you dont ask anyone out no one can say yes?😂

@user-p6-3561 8 месяцев назад

that is really solid input

@FleshWizard69420 8 месяцев назад

Why did I imagine a therapist dropping the clipboard and hitting the cleanest griddy you have ever seen?😂

@hyperlethalsunfish3113 8 месяцев назад

@@Nickodemo1st thats why he was probably at therapy lmao

@traillesstravelled7901 8 месяцев назад

Confidence has to be built on real things, not just mental gymnastics.

@debanikgoswami4834 8 месяцев назад

I don't have any confidence but I have learnt to behave like a confident person.

@traillesstravelled7901 8 месяцев назад

@@debanikgoswami4834 "Fake it till you make it" can work. It's a bandaid, temporary solution until there's something solid to base it on. Get a job, or better job. Workout consistently for a month, then two, three etc. Read that book everyone recommended, join a club with similar interests, running, bowling, shooting, D&D .

@StONeROP_007 4 месяца назад

@@debanikgoswami4834How can you tell? Genuine Question

@ghowz 3 месяца назад

@@debanikgoswami4834 so you are just putting up an act then. why not just change yourself into someone you could be comfortable with

@vincentolivieri4468 3 месяца назад

Exactly. If you have no/low confidence. Get small wins. Do what you say youre gonna do. Dont overdo. Get your wins and count them. Confidence will grow when you belief yourself. If you have 0. Set an alarm and actually get out of bed at your alarm. Thats your first win of the day! Count them and go on. Celebrate them in your mind like you see. Addition: create a wins (+losses) bucket. Like Goggins. Add all youre experiences in there to see what you overcome. When you feel low, remind yourself of all the things you did etc.

@shmackydoodRon 6 месяцев назад

Social media did to mental health what smoking did to cardiovascular health.

@maenad1231 2 месяца назад

Yup and instead of accountable for one’s own behaviors and doing the mental work to quit what they know is clearly destructive while adding no positive value to their life ; people blame the availability of social media/dating apps themselves or the cigarettes instead of blaming themselves for continuously making the same choice to take part. People have gotten mad when the mentioned that but the apps/cigs can’t enforce the will of their creators upon you and y’all also got help quitting resources & support groups that are both available & accessible. They just refuse to utilize them & commit to them because they’re set in there ways, lazy, don’t want to take accountability by accepting their level of blame, enjoy the path of least resistance, don’t like the idea of dealing with any level of discomfort in doing something hard etc. so they use defense mechanisms instead. People keep taking poison and cry victim when their physical and mental health deteriorates from the poison even though they know the effects

@Pierceson-up8fs 2 месяца назад

@@maenad1231 nah, this is an unfair comparison. Yes, it ultimately comes down to the individual to be better…but there’s also the fact social media dug their claws into most of us as minors, is free, and has become a place people are expected to have some sort of presence on (though that’s changing) There’s a reason you can’t give a teen free cigarettes, and teen given free cigarettes means they are less responsible for growing an addiction to it

@disdain7143 Месяц назад

@@maenad1231 exactly, thats why quitting is best option

@stronkwurks8769 8 месяцев назад

I wonder what a healthy functioning society is like

@secretagent4610 8 месяцев назад

It certainly ain't this one lol.

@gnoogie 8 месяцев назад

@justanotherbeing4529🌊🌊🌊

@marcelomarcelo514 8 месяцев назад

The 50's in america was as close as we got, there was a ton of development while keeping a healthy standard of living and growth for men women and children while also being able to develop social movements that were actually fighting against discrimination and believe it or not back then there was a ton less discrimination, mental health problems, crime, addictions and so on

@secretagent4610 8 месяцев назад

@@marcelomarcelo514 Yep, probably the best era in all of human history. Now we live in Idiocracy the sequel...

@mightsaber 8 месяцев назад

@justanotherbeing4529 aquaman would be proud

@oleksandr4642 8 месяцев назад

I love this approach to controversial topics like redpill: acknowledging its flaws, but finding something useful in the pile of BS

@gloomgem5307 8 месяцев назад

Yes, I think it’s important to acknowledge why people are drawn to and engage with ‘red pill communities. Its difficult to discuss these topics as well

@Sheikdaddy 8 месяцев назад

I find Rollo Tommasi and PsychHacks better sources of red pill ideas than what's usually out there

@Spud1189 8 месяцев назад

Philosophy i follow is try to find the truth or validity in even the most bs of things. That prevents you from being dismissive and see the whole picture.

@poncejerry22 8 месяцев назад

Yeah but you have to understand this blew up in response to the feminist, only fans, women entitlement movement. Because that actually took off first and a lot of men really fell into the traps of despair when it came to chasing women or happiness/fulfillment through putting women on a pedestal. In some ways this helped men regain focus and power to themselves. Is there lots of bs in the community ? Off course but that can be said towards any group or community. There’s definitely positives that have helped rebalance this entitlement women were waking around with and condescending men. Would you rather have your kids on a self improvement journey and putting life into their own hands. Or them sitting at home angry because they feel the world is against them, women don’t acknowledge them, and paying for womens only fans and addicted to porn to escape their reality? Women feel the power dynamic slipping and men refocusing. The patriarchy doesn’t support a mens revolution as it does a feminist one

@David-oz1ww 8 месяцев назад

seems like a safe grift to me

@Hemings91 8 месяцев назад

Absolutely profound. I love how you talked about how the internet is BIASED towards negativity due to happy people not making content and enjoying life!

@debanikgoswami4834 6 месяцев назад

That's why I like old school PUA's . They also say Looks, Money, Status doesn't matter . All you need is Game .

@Mikinaak2023 4 месяца назад

So true. No one I know that is really getting on in life spends that much time on social media.

@sheepisfortheweak6164 2 месяца назад

And then there is Dr. K. who is the best exception to this rule

@Hemings91 2 месяца назад

I think that's because he is purposeful with his content. I hope that he finds fulfillment in helping others. When youtube first started many people made channels with purpose and to share their passions. Now people will post anything in order to get views at the cost of their morality. @@sheepisfortheweak6164

@suhailballim4159 8 месяцев назад

Shocked at how you're always capable to give such clear honest content. A real Gem of a channel

@reggaemarley4617 8 месяцев назад

It's almost like he's a real qualified psychiatrist who cares about people. Here's hoping Dr. K's work gets received by the people that need it most.

@2MinuteHockey 8 месяцев назад

Jim?

@noneya1238 8 месяцев назад

Happy I found this channel

@nightmareTomek 8 месяцев назад

In this video he's telling a lot of wrong things though, and his reasoning is backwards.

@reggaemarley4617 8 месяцев назад

@@nightmareTomek Such as?

@bobowon5450 8 месяцев назад

one thing that frustrates me to no end about the whole red pill community is that many people will rightfully point out the flaws and issues with the red pill community, and then in the same breath belittle men and treat them like crap for listening to it. People like andrew tate are popular because there are very few alternatives. Feminism gets brought up a lot in these conversations and as a man I find feminist circles extremely hostile feeling because I could literally get run over by a truck and most of the time i'll hear "well somewhere a woman got run over by two trucks", but in the red pill community you get a pat on the back and some sympathy. Don't want your kids or male friends to fall into the red pill rabbit hole? just treat them nice. listen to their problems.

@Wonderwoman79G 8 месяцев назад

Out of curiosity, have you considered therapy? It sounds like you may have a lot to unpack especially your comment about listening.

@bobowon5450 8 месяцев назад

@@Wonderwoman79G I live in canada where therapy doesn't exist but you're probably right.

@nicelight7794 8 месяцев назад

It's a tricky thing because while I do feel some ppl in those more left-leaning critical feminist spaces could stand to have a bit more sympathy for what men are going through that cause them to go down these darker routes, I also recognize part of what causes some in these spaces to not feel interested in doing so. I imagine many of them have been done wrong by men in their life that have been influenced by the misogyny and such that permeate our society, and after dealing with enough of that they might just be fed up with the idea of expending their energy on worrying about whatever these men have going on when they 1) have to spend so much energy helping themselves heal from what they've experienced from men and 2) some of them have already been speaking on things meant to help guide men away from that stuff, but they feel they're not being heard because the advice they offer isn't considered palatable enough by some of these men. It's hurt all around. We could all use a little more consideration and patience for one another, but that's easier said than done sometimes.

@jcdenton7914 8 месяцев назад

Tate has a lot of good advice for being productive and achieving goals and I got a younger friend who got multiple friends in his Hustlers University and even one in the war room. But it's hard to measure if he's more of a positive or negative force. I've seen examples of people improving their life without taking in bad mindsets while others go off the deep end and becoming like Sneako or worse.

@bobowon5450 8 месяцев назад

@@jcdenton7914 tates a really mixed bag but i find most of his good advice, is the kind of advice you'd find in nearly any self help book. but there's a hell of a lot of bad advice mixed in

@samwelltarly6700 8 месяцев назад

10:50 "Some women use dating apps for psychological reasons" About half a year ago me and my brother had a very sassy acqaintance of his over for the evening and she spent almost the entire conversation complaining about her recent ex-boyfriend. Fair enough, he did sound like an asshole given her reasons for dumping him, however she then went on to say that she was looking forward to spending the next few days summarily rejecting all her potential matches on whatever dating app she was using, no matter how handsome or charming the suitors might be. In fact it would be better if they were all particularly handsome and charming just so their overinflated egos might get taken down a notch. I couldn't help but thinking "Oh, so YOU'RE the reason dating-apps are considered toxic and frustrating". I thought about telling her so, but I decided I had to pick my battles and the best I could get here was a pyrrhic victory that would ruin the rest of the evening, so I didn't.

@snowleopard9907 8 месяцев назад

Should have told her personally doesnt sounds like great person be around in general. Or at least make a comment that isnt necessarily hostile but will open her eyes a bit about her habbits. But regardless it happens

@Elandgol 8 месяцев назад

Could have even kept it vague like "being vindictive to random people because of one specific person is p mean, dude" lol It's actually straight up cruel to do to anyone, no matter what their status in this bs hierarchy system we're in. Your friend here is what people think feminism is when actually feminism includes men. The damage done by the patriarchy damages men too. It sets an unrealistic standard for men to achieve arbitrarily. That's a lot of pressure, man! It's why using positive stereotypes for anyone of any walk of life can actually be oppressive. All stereotypes/standards suck. Just be compassionate and try to understand where folks are coming from.

@Leonhart_93 8 месяцев назад

She was complaining so much about him because she was infatuated with him. That's some red pill hard truth, she doesn't talk about those that she doesn't care about.

@Elandgol 8 месяцев назад

@@Leonhart_93 Honest q here, what's red pill about that? Of course she cared about that person, they were in a relationship then they hurt her, right? I'm missing something I think.

@soscruffy 8 месяцев назад

@@Elandgol I wonder if it's more the response to the hurt. Rather than own and feel the feelings she is (jokingly or seriously) suggesting that she make another gender pay the price for her pain through vindictive and inauthentic psychological games. An authentic, non game playing response would be to take a break from the app or respond to those on it as individuals, considering her own level of attraction to the each one.

@morbid1. 8 месяцев назад

I hate "dating economy"... before apps were made you didn't just go on dates, first you met someone, then friendship started then that friendship evolved to this magical moment of dating and relationship. Now 90% of the process is gone, the most important part is eradicated. Dating sucks because it's all fake, make believe.

@Rompelstaump 8 месяцев назад

It's not gone. It's about adaptation. Finding ways to connect on personal hobbies, dreams, and communities. People didn't used to be so focused on others. I bet that would change for more people if we turn that focus inward to find the internal gifts hiding right under our noses 🙂 I recommend learning how to get off social media and start investing in ourselves through developing a new passion for learning and personal growth.

@colehutzler8743 Месяц назад

I think, or at least hope that as time goes on more and more people will realize this and it will eventually phase out. I think people are starting to get very very tired of this online world we live and will naturally move away from it.

@PikaYoshi21 Месяц назад

You can do all of that today.

@sighchaotic 19 дней назад

@@PikaYoshi21 I struggle to find the proper steps towards this. you know what must I do in order to start today..?

@theboss1005546 16 дней назад

No, back in the day you would have to go up to the people you were interested in and go on dates with them. It’s still basically the same, but a little more chaotic now

@lordvermintide4441 8 месяцев назад

Hard truth is men will always be looked at in some sense for their "value" in terms of what they can do or provide. It's not fair or just or healthy, but it is what it is. As a dude, you just have to value yourself, and remember that anyone who can't love and respect you for who you are and what you have to offer isn't worth your time to begin with. Don't accept the premise and try to appease those people and live up to their standards, because that's a game you will never win.

@maxwolf4036 8 месяцев назад

Not saying you are wrong but this is true for every person. Capitalism forces this "value" on us. That manifests itself in toxic masculinity and everything else

@happylittletrees8130 8 месяцев назад

Maybe being healthier is actually what actually creates more value in you. I think you are equating value with objectification when in this case I believe K means it in a way where someone is/has more good in themself. Like exercise to be healthier (and better looking), therefore more value. Be a hard worker and honest therefore more value. Stuff like that.

@furiousdestroyah9999 7 месяцев назад

I was never able to come to terms with this aspect of life. So I'm being treated unfairly but I just have to endure it because "it is what it is" ? Doesn't make any sense

@mafumofu986 7 месяцев назад

@@furiousdestroyah9999what else are you going to do? Dismantle society?

@furiousdestroyah9999 7 месяцев назад

@@mafumofu986 Maybe. Nothing wrong with wishing for a better and more just society

@Ro7770 8 месяцев назад

Exactly my thoughts, "meeting people where they are" is the fundamental way to convey trust and cooperation to the people you're trying to influence. The moment you start invalidating someone's experience is the moment you will be "identified" as an opponent instead of a person that is trying to help and then starts the argument and the other guy goes into defense mode instead of a cooperative communication with the common goal being the solutions to the exact problem.

@debanikgoswami4834 8 месяцев назад

This stuff is also promoted by redpillers . It is called 'socialcirclemaxxing' .

@Vitorruy1 8 месяцев назад

people who invalidate orher's experience aren't just innefective at helping others, they aren't helping anyone at all.

@kamitorings 8 месяцев назад

yeah but by that same token, there are alot of people who want others to "validate" their fake experience for fulfillment, which is also not something that helps anyone. the way i see it, if it smells like bullshit, it is. been around long enough to know when someone is speaking from "experience" and who is not, alot of people hide behind "you cant judge" yet turn around and do the same. if they really didnt care about being judged, they wouldnt be giving a shit about what other people have to say. so i agree when it comes to not invalidating other people's experiences, but in my EXPERIENCE, those who yell about their experiences are usually the ones who want validation from their lies.

@theblasteffect4499 8 месяцев назад

@@kamitoringshow can you tell when someone's BSing about their experience?

@ClanDosCanalhas 8 месяцев назад

@@kamitoringsyou are right in the sense that that's a possibility. But I guess it comes down to "i'd rather validate some liars by mistake than invalidate people who genuinely need support"

@Yayyyyyyyyyy 8 месяцев назад

Society is terrible, its like being forced to play a cheesy meta on an online multiplayer game, it can be boring, immoral and uptight.

@3nertia 8 месяцев назад

Welcome to capitalism!

@233kosta 8 месяцев назад

So don't play

@233kosta 8 месяцев назад

@@3nertia*socialism. Since the early 20th century. The west still likes to pretend, and blame all of its ills on "capitalism", but there hasn't been a free market in the west for a long long time. TIK calls it a very thin veneer of capitalism wrapped over a coffin of socialism.

@3nertia 8 месяцев назад

@@233kosta As if we get a choice ...

@233kosta 8 месяцев назад

@@3nertia There's always a choice. And that choice always has an associated price.

@chrisbarry9345 8 месяцев назад

Dating app rejections are nothing. It's when you go on dates and the person is immediately not interested. My entire life and presence and physical appearance changed due to an injury and now I'm realizing that I had no other value besides appearance

@williamspears1627 8 месяцев назад

The makeup industry is a multi billion dollar industry for a reason. Women in the west are all about physical appearance (inb4 some woman pops and says that she's not like that. Of course there will be exceptions to the rule.)

@renegade2325 8 месяцев назад

Welcome to the blackpill, looks are everything in life yet nobody wants to admit it.

@lukapookawooka88 7 месяцев назад

@@renegade2325 sounds like you didn't watch the video

@iluxa-4000 8 месяцев назад

I am 25, single and I spend hours every day playing videogames and watching porn. Yet I live by myself, graduated with honors, have a stable job (and I'm one of a kind specialist at my facility), am very supportive and kind, spend a lot of time with friends and family and so on. What I want to say is - don't be handicaped by your drawbacks. We all have them, and if you focus on them too much - they will destroy your mental health. Focus on what you're good at and be proud of what you've accomplished, yet always strive for more. Could I (or anyone else) be a better person or "have more value"? Of course. Should it be bothering you? No, not at all

@DoubleUProds 8 месяцев назад

What's wrong with videogames? There aren't a lot of low budget hobbys you can just pick up and put down after a long work day.

@iluxa-4000 8 месяцев назад

@@DoubleUProds videogames are isolating, that is the main issue. You sit in your room, alone, in front of your screen for hours. They are not bad by themselves, but they can lead down a slippery slope

@Kalightortaio 8 месяцев назад

@@iluxa-4000not every videogame is single player, especially these days. And videogames do not exist in pure isolation, as each game usually tends to build communities around them.

@voicey5831 8 месяцев назад

@@KalightortaioTalking to a teammate on a voice chat or pming someone and actually talking to someone face to face are two totally different things.

@Foreignmonk34 8 месяцев назад

Still, you can do both of them in your life. I think the amount of gaming is more important than being totally absolutist about it. Of course games are easily addicting, so for some/many people avoiding them might be the right choice. But it's not the same as shooting iv drugs etc which will F you very quickly.

@seiko6800 8 месяцев назад

I'm a 30 year old german guy fighting depression, ADHD and many other issues since over 10 years and maybe more and was always alone with it. Even after seeking therapists, none of them were really able to get in to my thoughts and so I tried learning to somehow "therapy" myself, which is going kinda well, but is often connected to the anxiety of getting schizo and not always being able to think "objectively" without any subjective bias. Then I found you (through Asmongold :D) and things started to get clearer way faster, 'cause I would say I'm a pretty fast learner if someone explains something logically to me, which your metaphors support really well. Thank you very very much for your videos and I hope there may never be a negative influence, that succeeds to rob you your kindness. You're helping 100% more than you're aware of. Good Life, sir. :>

@dontburstmybubble686 8 месяцев назад

Yo german buddy, have you considered getting more online friends? I have heard that a lot of people in Germany are lonely. Maybe start hanging out at more places!

@angeriscool 8 месяцев назад

You are a man in the arena. Keep fighting brother

@trappart9209 8 месяцев назад

Good luck man, you are doing a good job. I have been working on myself for many years as well. It's hard and complex but we improve little by little. And help from people such Dr K is needed as well. I hope you will find a really good therapist

@KnzoVortex 8 месяцев назад

In terms of really having success in "self-therapy", I'd highly recommend the RU-vid channel Daniel Mackler. In brief, he is a former psychotherapist who left the profession out of dissatisfaction of the state of it, both from his experiences as a therapy client and through his observations of his peers. More fundamentally though. he is someone who has been deeply drawn to understanding the process of self healing and figuring out how to be authentic to your inner self. He has found that emotional processing is one of the most crucial things for people to heal, but also that much or all of it can be facilitated just on one's own if they can't find a good therapist with still a lot of progress, and he gives fantastic insight on how to do so, I've found at least.

@dannyvalward1524 8 месяцев назад

Heyho, german woman, 30, suffering from depression and ADHD and I had the exact same experience with therapists 😅 Sie reden die ganze Zeit komplett an mir vorbei und wenn ich versuche meine Sicht zu erklären, wird alles was ich sage so rumgedreht, dass es wieder in das Schema der Persönlichkeitsstörung passt, das ihnen lieber ist als ADHS. Ich weiß nicht wo in Deutschland du lebst, aber an vielen Orten wird ADHS bei Erwachsenen komplett nicht ernst genommen. Aber es gibt Experten und mir helfen aktuell die Medikamente, um zumindest erst mal mein Leben wieder zu ordnen. Die Depressionen werden damit auch stetig besser, über die Zeit versuche ich Alternativen zu finden. Viel Glück weiterhin!

@Atoll-ok1zm 8 месяцев назад

One of the best things I ever did was take a sociology class. And I won't claim to remember most of it, but it did teach me one important thing. The "sociological imagination", basically a sociologist must attempt to find and compensate for their personal biases when interpreting data and whatever else. But what that really means is that you must very carefully consider your perspective. Because more often than not, your perspective is the single most significant factor in how you interpret the world around you. It influences your biases, your beliefs, down to your most core values over the course of your life. And you have to be aware that your perspective is not necessarily in line with the material reality of the situation, nor is it in line with another person's perspective. So you have to step back and try to have a wider more absolute look.

@the1stmetalhead 8 месяцев назад

so true, I always try and think from as many different perspectives as possible before settling down on a viewpoint.

@treeforged9097 8 месяцев назад

Yeah that's one of the biggest problems in sociology, its mostly women who are incapable of seeing from a mans perspective and that is why there is so much misandry in sociology. There needs to be more men in sociology pushing back against anti male feminism in sociology and psychology.

@sp123 8 месяцев назад

Relationships are not "perspective", they are competition forged in material reality. Changing your perspective is not going to make someone get into Harvard if they lack the GPA, extracurriculars or test scores.

@ninakore 8 месяцев назад

Add an economics 101 class too. The world will make a lot more sense.

@MsDany79 8 месяцев назад

Having studied sociology for 4 years, paradoxically most of them, students and professors alike, havent ever recognized & reflected their biases. It was the biggest filter bubble i have ever witnessed in my life and even tho sociology is one of the most interesting subjects to study for me personally, i am glad i left. Couldnt handle the ignorance & arrogance of these people because they are the privileged ones actually learning to understand & overcome it, but actually rarely ever used the knowledge given.

@axstinbeats6655 8 месяцев назад

As someone who’s struggled with confidence their whole lives I feel like part of the issue is a combination of both physical and mental. For example I’m a 5’8” male who has MPB(balding) and is born with a rare heat defect. That makes me shorter than 50%, less hair on my head than 50%, and a rare 1/100 person to even be born this way. Height and hair make people more attractive and lifting weights(which I can’t do bc of my defect) also make people more attractive. I struggle a lot to not be bitter about my physical circumstances when the internet tells me that what’s attractive is taller men with better hair. As well as not being able to lift weight which leaves me skinny fat. Idk how to build confidence so I have to just pretend. I’ve noticed it works when attracting women but eventually my insecurities would always win out and I would lose it. Idk now I’m just rambling but I think that would be a good video. How do I have any confidence if I feel physically inferior to everyone

@axstinbeats6655 8 месяцев назад

I’ve also noticed that even when I would go on dates my mind would convince me that eventually someone taller and more attractive would “take” the girl. Idk recently I’ve thought of a theory that your brain is only deeply attracted to people you have a chance with. It’s like a survival tactic your brain has where it knows your too ugly for some people and too attractive for others so it only lets you fall deeply in love with girls who you actually have a chance with. Idk how much weight that holds but yeah it’s be a cool video too lol idk maybe not

@Mikinaak2023 4 месяца назад

Danny Davito. Look him up.

@westbasinger1293 3 месяца назад

I am the complete opposite of you. I am 6ft have a full set of hair. I have been lifting weights since 16 I am 26 now. I have a girlfriend. I am in college and in the field working various jobs. With all this said I still have something to say that would make us more valuable to women and the world. What gives us confidence how great we are with our skills. I have gifts and skills but if I spent more time on the them which I am now. I would be miles ahead of the game we call life. I’m also talking about skills that can make you money and help you eventually build a family. :) happy travels just know we have one life and to be happy and optimistic. It’s better to be positive about things than negative no one wants negativity in their life. No matter the outcome keep a smile on your face much more attractive than a frown.

@The92Waffles 3 месяца назад

It’s hard to fake confidence when you have a stutter 🙁

@iaamara8434 3 месяца назад

@@The92Waffles yeah tell that to Mike Tyson

@tandrobinson 8 месяцев назад

Dr. K, This is an amazing approach. You’re speaking directly to people who have been unknowingly sucked into the Manoverse and using the vocab theyre familiar with. Male loneliness is pervasive and these content loops prey on all of the hurt for their own gain. Stay strong bros, you are all high value! 👑👑👑

@devankurmitra4118 8 месяцев назад

It sucks when your own family does it, and society enforces it through loneliness.

@sunderark 8 месяцев назад

I was like "oh yeah welcome to being Indian" and then I saw your name and nodded knowingly.

@devankurmitra4118 8 месяцев назад

@@sunderark 🤝😫😭

@hurmzz 8 месяцев назад

Hope you guys will be able to break tradition

@RebuildingSaad 8 месяцев назад

That really must suck, dude. I'm sorry you're going through that. I recommend you try and find spaces, groups, clubs (regardless of their gender or orientation) who have similar interests as you. You deserve to have positive interactions and relationships. Take care of yourself.

@Moose92411 7 месяцев назад

Loneliness isn’t a society problem. It’s an individual problem. Society isn’t lonely… a person is.

@kal2487 8 месяцев назад

Brilliant!! My experience is that one of reason's why it takes so long to climb out of the hole you find yourself in, is because 95% of the ropes thrown to you as a vulnerable person, are attached to predatory people waiting to exploit you. Isn't that sad? However, if you can make it out, you will be hella strong. Don't stop trying.

@vivvpprof 8 месяцев назад

I wouldn't say feminists are trying to exploit you, they're just a bunch of hateful people, that's all.

@BlargeAdam 8 месяцев назад

For me its more like they throw a rope to you but turns out it was self dissolving bandage rope

@snowleopard9907 8 месяцев назад

I try tell people this all the time. The desperate are often the ones getting exploited

@asakayosapro 8 месяцев назад

Predatory people, or predatory entities owned by predatory people and kept running by the victims living in prisons without walls? It shouldn’t be a big secret that central banking, fractional reserve lending and fiat currency are the biggest ponzi scam ever pulled on the entirety of humanity, alongside the coconspiracy of Big Food, Big Agro, Big Oil, Big Tech, Big Pharma, Big Media, Big Data and the military industrial complex, among many other things, particularly distractions and vices designed to gradually destroy people, or rather, designed to make people destroy themselves regardless of how they resist it… And yet, everytime someone tries to put the truth out there, it’s always the same result where the bluepilled majority would rather live in AND maintain the systemic status quo of blissful ignorance rather than let the truth spread, and that they will do everything in their power to protect said system… like agents of the matrix… If you want to get to the root of all that is causing humanity so much suffering though deceit, exploitation, vice, induced illness and many other ways and things…. *Follow the money.*. Then you will know who the true enemies really are.

@Adam-rz4wr 8 месяцев назад

Predators? It's the society that treats males like garbage. We're supposed to just work till death and die in wars for society that hates us while paying alimony and fighting in court for a chance to see your kids, while the judge believes ex partner lies because she is a woman.

@robbyalp 8 месяцев назад

Dr k! The fact that you can still blow my mind with a subject like this that's affected people so much for so long, with those exact cognitive pitfalls you mentioned is really incredible. Thanks for all you do

@brycenwhitesides6866 Месяц назад

Thank you for shedding light on the subject. The biggest take away for me was to engage more in these third spaces, spending more time in real person experiences over online experiences. Even though this is uncomfortable and seemingly difficult if you are alone, I want to learn to release my dopamine doing the more meaningful things over the easy yet meaningless things.

@FeralKimchi 8 месяцев назад

Hi Dr. K. I can't express enough how much I appreciate your content. As the father of a 15 year old son, I'm glad I can direct him to someone like you as an alternative to the redpill stuff. You've helped me a lot, too. Many thanks!

@devankurmitra4118 8 месяцев назад

Teach him confidence (rizz) tykwondoe, they are anti red pill

@devankurmitra4118 8 месяцев назад

I wish my dad was this aware of things, he is 55 still doesn't believe in working on his EQ.😢

@ThatGmoney 8 месяцев назад

Also, get him started on Jay Shetty, Lewis Howes, Stephen Speaks! Pick and choose and do my take everything literal!

@boobio1 8 месяцев назад

The red pill community is the problem but feminism is just great?

@FeralKimchi 8 месяцев назад

@@boobio1literally never said that lol

@tobiasd.g.519 8 месяцев назад

I think the problem with the high/low value man thing is giving any value to a person at all. I know who I am, and I am not a high or low value man, Im me. I know it can sound cheesy but identifying that everyone is different and nobody fits into these boxes is an amazing help to your mental health. Stay strong king :)

@lilymulligan8180 8 месяцев назад

Couldn't agree more!!! The more you think about the concept of "value" as a person, the less it makes sense. When these influencers talk about becoming "high value," what they really mean is "become appealing to as many people as possible by maxing out every major metric that the opposite sex looks for." It's a strategy to avoid rejection, not to actually find love. In reality, what we should be prioritizing is compatibility, not mass appeal or treating dating like an achievement. It makes me think of how people (usually men) will grind really hard to make a ton of money, and then become shocked that every woman who wants to date them once they get rich is a gold digger, lol. Not only do you have to know yourself and your own values & priorities, but you gotta know what YOU want in a partner!

@chrisjfox8715 7 месяцев назад

I more or less agree. There most definitely is a such thing as a certain type of man that's most likely to attract most women. However, you're right that all any given man should focus on is being the best version of themselves and being comfortable in their own skin - there's no other you and you can find someone out there that's compatible...as long as you put yourself out there and stop letting shame fester into resentment.

@BPFACTS88 6 месяцев назад

lolzer

@Thatonegirl989 5 месяцев назад

Its definitely an unproductive mindset. Should we all strive to want good things for ourselves? Yes of course but applying that value on a daily basis and harboring resentment for people that are "better" is only hurting you.

@user-tx6lz7pm3y 3 месяца назад

My problem is different i have all those things that they say a high value man has , but if I have to accept to monogamy than why would I be with a normal female ?

@AlexandriaRose-hi6mt 8 месяцев назад

Started watching your content today and I'm so glad, also a little upset I hadn't found you sooner. But it's so wholesome and honestly helping my reflect on my own life. I have done almost a decade of therapy and have been thinking about starting again. You and your content have confirmed my desire to continue therapy simply because I think it can be positive for anyone even if you're not dealing with a specific issue. Thank you and please please don't quit making content.

@FRENETIC11 4 дня назад

This is so true, resonated very much.

@devankurmitra4118 8 месяцев назад

In my experience, "chain asking out" aka exposure therapy in hyperdrive, makes you less empathetic. Like I don't care about your feelings, I care about whether it's going my way or not

@KxNOxUTA 8 месяцев назад

It's very flawed from the get go. It's not sth. that cares about a person, it cares for a goal. That said, there's surely some middle ground there. As Dr.K said, goint dating can be an opportunity to actually get to know ppl and ask them for help in finding ppl who might be a better fit.

@JoeMama-gi1so 8 месяцев назад

Do not fetishize your indifference

@devankurmitra4118 8 месяцев назад

@@JoeMama-gi1so wdym?

@earlgrey2130 8 месяцев назад

Everything in life must be balanced

@Andjdjdja 8 месяцев назад

This video came at the right time for me. Used to be on the Muslim equivalent of dating app and quit because of the constant rejections. Lost a lot of weight (not due to the rejections, just for my mental health) and joined back to see the outcome. Got even more rejections. Kinda felt worthless over the last few days but this video has helped me a lot. Thanks Dr.K ❤. Was kinda lost I was searching for support online but a lot of the threads about male rejection are either full on incel vibes or people discrediting the guy’s feelings on their rejection. Thankfully this video has provided a better middle ground take.

@mormegil84 8 месяцев назад

Good luck out there, man. You got this.

@corneliahanimann2173 8 месяцев назад

Can I ask you, why you are dating in the first place?

@Andjdjdja 8 месяцев назад

@@corneliahanimann2173 Not really dating. Mainly with the intent to get married. The idea is that you match with the person and then you talk with their parents. Then you are allowed to see them more.

@Andjdjdja 8 месяцев назад

@@mormegil84 thank you soo much. Hope you are doing well.

@mormegil84 8 месяцев назад

@Andjdjdja No problem. 👍 I'm hanging in there. Thanks.

@johnnykim9294 Месяц назад

First time watching long video without pausing for me. Thanks a lot.

@nateshih 8 месяцев назад

Wow this was amazing. Wish this video was out 7 years ago. I eventually learned everything in here before watching this video, but I was still ashamed of that phase. Feeling very validated.

@bradley8614 8 месяцев назад

Thank you for bringing nuance to this subject Dr. K. There's so much out there that gets simplified and a lot of people shouting on the internet make worse. I hope the guys who needed to hear this hear this.

@the1stmetalhead 8 месяцев назад

they probably won't, people usually hangout in communities where they aren't made fun of or cussed at. HG community still has a lot of work in that department.

@TheGreektrojan 8 месяцев назад

@@the1stmetalhead I've seen very little of that in the HG community (though it does happen). Its not perfect but this is the kind of comment that keeps people in the red/black pill funnel. If your barometer for acceptance and empathy is pure, unconditional agreement, even for the toxic anti-social stuff, then you aren't going to find it anywhere but it the constant stream of online, siloed content (which is why its so prolific). As Dr. K. mentioned, these communities are very good at making people who disagree with the dogma seem more aggressive and rejecting than they really are (aka cherry-picking the most extreme 'feminist' ideas and constantly feeding them to you to make them seem more ubiquitous than they actually are). Then this dogma scares off most regular people IRL and reinforces the blackpill toxic stuff. You get addicted to the validation and self-righteousness but sacrifice your mental health and general life satisfaction in the process.

@hokage039 8 месяцев назад

he has a different issue his vids are rather long, and most the younger gens wont listen to something for 20 mins long.

@ghfryw 8 месяцев назад

@@TheGreektrojan "I've seen very little of that in the HG community (though it does happen). Its not perfect but this is the kind of comment that keeps people in the red/black pill funnel." You then proceeded to invalidate the way someone feels. You assumed what the person was thinking, named it the "acceptance barometer"...then proceeded to explain how that's not true/correct thinking... but you're not... mocking him, you're just you make him feel... what was the word... sorry i'm not as smart as you. Sometimes I feel a little... inadequate, not that I'm... ashamed. But you managed to help me a lot! The irony you use to disprove your own point...clap, clap, clap

@barthalaszlo5692 8 месяцев назад

this is literally life changing, not a redpill guy or anything like that, but this video helped me finally realize things about myself that ive been thinking bout for a while

@debanikgoswami4834 8 месяцев назад

One of my friend helped his girlfriend a lot to find a job. But she dumped him and started dating a guy she met work . Many progressives don't point out bad behaviour of women and then complaint why men going down redpill rabbit hole.

@sendthemall44 6 месяцев назад

I’ve seen a lot of self help stuff but when it comes to statistics and no bullshit help and information I can actually use for a better understanding of situations that’s completely relatable to my own experiences, dr.k you are by far the best at providing that and I thank you.

@nishonthebeat 4 месяца назад

I love you Dr. K. Thank you for everything you do, forreal. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@SonOfCota 8 месяцев назад

the shame to confidence pipeline is totally legit like that tweet from Tate calling men poor, unimportant and “not feared”, saying that if he was forced to live their lives it would be the worst depression imaginable really shocked me as to how insultingly callous it was and even now after thinking about it I can’t see it as anything other than equal parts delusion and manipulation

@mocrispy8160 8 месяцев назад

Tate really just provides cartoonish commentary on what the two sexes find attractive. If you take him too seriously he will seem toxic. But the red pill movement in general is somewhat validated by the psychology of attraction

@tnn-cj3vy 8 месяцев назад

i think no individual or group of individuals (communities, groups, etc) is/are perfect. it's about absorbing what is useful and discarding what is useless. i've noticed a lot of people are either completely disregarding tate as a cancer of society or praise him as a worldwide hero. the fact of the matter is, he gets thousands upon thousands of people going to the gym. if you know the tiniest bit about physical health and how it impacts mental health, you'll know that even if it comes with unrealistic expectations, shame, and "a side of misogyny", going to the gym will always be a net positive. and this isn't just about tate or the red pill community. it's about everyone and everything. rarely will there be 0 worth in somebody's words. there's no point in demonizing or idolizing a whole subculture of the internet; just pick out what's useful, and keep trying your hardest to achieve your goals.

@wtfdtreats 8 месяцев назад

@@mocrispy8160aka _biology_ So we're back to basics, _yet again_ 💊

@WASDLeftClick 8 месяцев назад

Tate belongs in prison for his entire life.

@joeya289 8 месяцев назад

Many men benefit from openly calous interactions as they've been raised in passively calous positivity. Helps recalibrate many of them. Real feedback is both rare and valuable.

@Nathaniel_Bush_Ph.D. 8 месяцев назад

This is one of the most coherent explanations of how and why the "Red Pill" sphere has grown.

@stupidrules1000 8 месяцев назад

I don't think that it is. Mostly because he seems to not acurately deacribe the redpill community at all. So I question his understanding of it, and therefore any conclusions about its appeal.

@TitaniusAnglesmith 8 месяцев назад

@@stupidrules1000 What did he say that's incorrect?

@pragmaticpundit7703 8 месяцев назад

Exactly, K leads by example "Here's how to ACTUALLY sell a course; discredit other courses then sell your own" He's a snake-oils salesman and you bought into it.

@kingflynxi9420 8 месяцев назад

I don't think feminism is the problem, feminism exposed ways in which the previous system of patriarchy held down a lot of men too. I think a lot of men will cling on to patriarchal beliefs because they think that's where their power will come from. Being sex positive and letting go of your insecurities around how women approach sex/dating is a lot more healthy than trying to control women imo, they're just like us, trying to get by and having some fun.

@Ergoperidot 8 месяцев назад

@@kingflynxi9420Based

@4r1ga70u-irl 8 месяцев назад

The example with the gum on the table / chair got me. Thanks Dr K. A true Hero in this World

@JustAverageJeff 7 месяцев назад

I love this content it's so helpful for dealing with my bipolar and my wife's ADHD.

@GoldeneyeDoubleO7 8 месяцев назад

That's why it's very important to just get off social media for a bit. It warps reality and fucks up your reasoning and logic sometimes.

@plaidchuck 8 месяцев назад

Bingo. No matter your beliefs/values you shouldn't be running to xyz online safe space for validation or comfort.

@theeternalgus9119 8 месяцев назад

You're absolutely right.

@goodsamaritangaming1997 8 месяцев назад

I wouldn't know if I ever had ADHD. I've never really been checked. However, I relate to this so well. Struggling in school. Being told I'm not doing well because I'm not trying hard enough. Falling into depression. Striving for excellence to feel like I'm not a failure, and now, I have had two foot surgeries and working hard was made a hell of a lot harder, only making me feel more like a failure. People say I'm too young to be in this situation because I'm only 30, but I can say for a fact that it's not the age that's the problem, it's the mileage, but people don't accept that. The harder you push your limits, the more likely you are to damage a part of your body. Doesn't help if you already have a pre-existing condition.

@sillysinner3520 8 месяцев назад

There's a test on the internet called DIVA that you can fill and find out if you can relate to the questions. I had to fill it out to get my adhd diagnosis. You can take it to the mental health profesional as a way to show what you feel like easier.

@lilowhitney8614 8 месяцев назад

I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but I wanted to say that your worth as a human being doesn't depend on how productive you are or how much you can accomplish. And those saying 30 is too young for that absolutely have no clue what they're talking about. You don't need to be a certain age in order to have physical (or any kind of) limitations, and you're not a failure for having them.

@andrewg9107 8 месяцев назад

@@lilowhitney8614 I second this, your worth doesn't change at all just because you "fall behind" or don't meet the whack standards that our society has brainwashed into thinking we need in order to be successful. To me personally, a "successful" life is one where you are happy and suffering is at a minimum or possibly non-existent. But you can give yourself whatever meaning you want for success, that's the best part about it. Cheers mates

@xkenny1995 8 месяцев назад

I was diagnosed with ADHD&depression only in 28, all years before that i thought i was the problem and i must try harder and fix my behavior... Kinda succeeded in a carreer, working 10-12hr instead 8, for 10 years, no surprise that i abandoned big part of social&romantic life to prioritize study&work...

@furiousdestroyah9999 7 месяцев назад

@@sillysinner3520Just opened this DIVA test, did the first 2 questions and can strongly agree with all of them Uh oh... Edit: Yep, it keeps getting worse and worse the more questions I complete...

@Pabloandresariza 11 дней назад

Dr. K actually changed my life. Thanks dude!

@Manullus 8 месяцев назад

This was a fantastic take on the situation! I've tried to figure out the factors contributing to the situation, and I think you absolutely nailed putting the pieces of the puzzle together! Thanks a lot, I learned something very valuable that I can spread to my clients!

@AvocadoCEO 8 месяцев назад

I was going to make a very bad decision today but your video brought me back to reality

@steggopotamus 8 месяцев назад

Oh man, dude, I'm glad he got to you in time. I hope you take more steps to keep trying.

@hyperdayo 8 месяцев назад

Good judgement, bro

@julbul 8 месяцев назад

Good job, wouldn't want you turning into guacamole 🥑

@szczepan4737 8 месяцев назад

Never do anything that can not be reversed under an impulse.

@_SparkySaltySnowflake 8 месяцев назад

Good job.

@arthurpenfield8229 8 месяцев назад

This hit hard 😢. I'm struggling hard with value because I was programmed to put myself last and to put others first.

@socku5850 8 месяцев назад

I feel the same way. Growing up with a speaking impediment and disabled. Dr.k is right with the confidence things. If you grow up with negative environments and having no friends make you kind depressed. Toxic people kind blame me for own problems. I don't know this until later in life. You don't want people walk all over you. Being confident is that you stand up for yourself or have boundaries for toxic people in your life.

@cataliniancu5318 8 месяцев назад

Men are always thought that. And guess what, women are though the opposite, "put yourself first".

@hyberkonawa272 8 месяцев назад

That's not lack of Value, That's lack of honesty my friend. You don't have to be High Value or Low Value Just "Value yourself" normally as any human being and... don;t let others walk over you in case you feel someone is taking advantage of you. Like... Pleasing people OR getting along with everyone is NOT good for your mental health and if some people Hates you by the way you think " That's they're problem!".... Not You! You are Very valuable, NOT the High Value man Definition but.... a very valuable Human being who can still push foward. Its okay if you still in you 30's or 40's living with your parents and its okay you still don't have car. Appreciate what you have and use all of these resources as an advantage to upgrade yourself little by little. You don't need to compete against anyone in the race, Just with yourself. What is important is to finish the Race, that's what truly matters! Do it for yourself, Not for society cuz this your journey not theirs. And you aren't poor, you just confused but Still need to push foward and having that Trust in you OR in God, cuz if you do this, you'll become very wealthy and resourceful. And If you have haters, that's even a good thing! Let them Fear you and hate you! cuz that's what life is all about.

@arthurpenfield8229 8 месяцев назад

@@hyberkonawa272, growing up poor and isolated, didn't help my situation any better.

@eldrevo 8 месяцев назад

Not to invalidate, but I think altruism is metal as f. Not everyone sees it for the virtue it really is, but it does require some character. Maybe just don't mix it with shame and even take a liiiiittle pride in it.

@Amorphous_Sand 8 месяцев назад

Clever title for the video. I didn't want to open it even though I know the source of the vid is trustworthy, but the title just pissed me off to the point I HAD to open it. I don't even think I'm a "low value" guy, my confidence has been GREAT compared to what has been in my life. I'm 5'5" and getting women I find attractive to just act different around me while I'm used to being ignored. But still, there's probably something deeply engrained in me to be anxious about not being good enough. Okay now to tell the algorithm to fuck off for the next month because I opened this vid. Thanks doc. ❤

@wazup1337 7 месяцев назад

Thank you Dr. K. Really needed this especially now. Feels like everyday, no matter how much work I put in, I can never feel valuable. I feel like im in a constant loop of shame every time I wake.

@debanikgoswami4834 6 месяцев назад

That's why I like old school PUA's . They also say Looks, Money, Status doesn't matter . All you need is Game . Dating is a number game .

@ColeTrainStudio 8 месяцев назад

As an introvert and someone who has had modest success in dating, has been told by different women that they notice other women checking me out regularly despite having thought I look like a troll, AND NEVER GOT A SINGLE MATCH ON ANY DATING APP, DON'T USE DATING APPS. Joining hobby groups will be way more effective; it ensures you have something in common with potential partners and puts you in an environment that you're already comfortable in, which does wonders for your confidence. NO, PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WITH PEOPLE IN A DISCORD CALL DOES NOT COUNT. If your hobbies are naturally solo, try branching out into adjacent hobbies. For instance, if you're a gamer, try doing trivia at the local pub or finding a board game night or an in-person tabletop rpg group. Additionally, if there's a skill you always wanted to develop, this is another great opportunity to go meet other like-minded people. If your social anxiety is so bad that you can't do that, then being in a relationship is not where your focus should be. Getting a partner while in a state like that will not ease your social anxiety or fix any of your problems. In my experience, it will make it worse and cause more problems.

@KxNOxUTA 8 месяцев назад

From a femal perspectibve this is splendid advice!

@user-mm9ve4le6m 8 месяцев назад

"For instance, if you're a gamer, try doing trivia at the local pub" I bet you are a nice guy and everything, but in what world would this ever lead to anything positive? Just showing up alone at this kind of event just seems like the most awkward way you could spend your time. "finding a board game night or an in-person tabletop rpg group" This doesn't work if you don't already know someone there. Idk, I don't feel like this is a good solution at all for social anxiety. I think that the only sound method of making friends is interacting with people in situations where you are forced to interact and then slowly getting to know them and making moves that lead into a friendship.

@lilymulligan8180 8 месяцев назад

@@user-mm9ve4le6m It's all about the energy you put out, man. If you curl up in the corner and don't talk to anyone because you're too uncomfortable, then yeah, no one will talk to you. But if you're confident, have open body posture, and find the courage to strike up conversations, then I bet things won't go as terribly as you'd think. Embrace the awkwardness. It will not kill you, I promise. That being said, I will agree that this won't be the place to start if you really struggle with social anxiety and confidence. If "forced situations" help you to open up, then start taking classes in something. Fitness, cooking, pottery, underwater basket weaving.... It's a structured environment where you're surrounded by other people who have similar interests. Worst case scenario, you develop a new skill and make no new friends. Best case scenario, you develop a new skill AND make new friends. There are no downsides - except the social anxiety that will flare up and try to talk you out of doing the thing you know logically is good for you. Luckily, you can do difficult, scary things! :)

@user-mm9ve4le6m 8 месяцев назад

@@lilymulligan8180 Thanks! Yeah I thought about doing that. My mind just tells me now that all people who go to these kinds of classes are probably much older than me haha

@ColeTrainStudio 7 месяцев назад

@@user-mm9ve4le6m 1. It led to something positive for me. being affable and genuinely in interested in people, asking questions about them, goes a long way toward starting a friendship. at the very least, you may learn something you didn't know before or gain a new perspective. As an aside, I find that asking questions I'd like to be asked leads to genuine and interesting conversations. One of my favorite icebreakers is "if you suddenly became exceptionally good at arts & crafts, what is the first thing you would make?" It's a question that can't be answered with a yes or no and is deeply personal in a non-invasive way. It's also an easy question to ask for elaboration on as the person answers it. 2a. I've lived in or near small cities (20,000 - 80,000 people; my hometown had a population under 500) all my life. Even then, I've always found that my local game shop(s) have a night (almost) every week specifically for anyone to come play games (board games, D&D, etc.) without prior invitation. Obviously, you'll be playing with strangers, but if show up continuously, you'll likely start to encounter the regulars and may make friends with some of them. 2b. My comment was never about how to solve social anxiety, but how to meet like-minded people and potential romantic partners. I've never struggled with social anxiety and won't pretend that my input in "solving it" is valuable; that said, I'm not particularly great with strangers either. 3. You've basically just restated my thesis here. I'm advocating that people put themselves into situations where they'll be doing something they otherwise like, but are forced to interact with other people, such as going to a game store's game night.

@Parrvs 8 месяцев назад

This was very much needed and should be watched and considered by a lot of todays population. I hope as a society we can overcome these types of issues

@hamstrungharry259 8 месяцев назад

@@potatotiel it isn't really though

@oleksiifedosov579 8 месяцев назад

It’s not going to change by itself, in this game woman is a culture, men is a change. Every society cultivated fears and dependencies to certain extents, there is no place on earth where people praise freedom. Since women feel comfortable in social environment and you were born as a trust game player, you have no choice to get as more freedom as you can so rejection game will not hurt you anymore. After all if you have desire and strength to change it than society has a chance. For now just enjoy the game :)

@DardoUltimate 26 дней назад

I keep giving the same advice that got me out of unemployment. Once i got fed up with all those applications not beeing responded to or getting rejected, i got up, printed my resume, and started going personally to the spots that oppened up and that i could find the adress. Ended up with a job after a week and a half of that. Thing is, people are more eager to interview you for 5 minutes if you look em in the eye and ask em for it, than to spot your e-mail in the middle of 150 other applications. And hey, if ya dont get the job, you at least know right there and then, no more antecipation and uncertainty. 😅

@AE-ny2zg 2 месяца назад

thanks dr.k for making this video

@collinjohnson2971 8 месяцев назад

Thank you DR. K this was the exact video I needed to see right now! This content is too easy to fall into the trap of and I don’t know that I would have out 2 and 2 together had you not brought it up. It’s tough being a man in the dating world these days and seems to get worse everyday. You hit the nail on the head about red pill content mostly only contributing to more shame and this is probably the first videos that’s ever really motivated me to get on top of my shit!

@batman5224 8 месяцев назад

I think there’s a contradiction in the red pill ideology. On one hand, these male influencers will talk about how capricious and terrible women are, but at the same time, they’ll talk about how men should change everything about themselves in order to please women.

@Valen-mh9fh 8 месяцев назад

Yeah, it's the paradox that most don't seem to spot.

@lexmusiclab 8 месяцев назад

So many contradictions. "Find your purpose, rise n grind, etc." but their whole day revolves around getting laid lol. "Women and societies fault you get rejected" but it's actually your fault bc you're not brolic and don't make 100k a year 😂 "Don't be a goofy dude" but they are among the goofiest mfs around 🤦‍♂️ it's very shallow

@the1stmetalhead 8 месяцев назад

I hate my job, but its important that I deliver at workspace to support my family and myself.

@MagikarpPower 8 месяцев назад

feminism, red pill, and patriarchy/plutocracy all have the same message that men's feelings come second or just don't matter. something needs to change.

@the1stmetalhead 8 месяцев назад

@@MagikarpPower maybe there's some truth to that.

@servicetosociety20 8 месяцев назад

Your value exists on a continuum, not a binary. Red pill, Blue pill, Alpha, Beta. Stop identifying with those traits and start identifying with values you control. I am hardworking, I am successful, I am charitable. Base your value on things that can be measured and exist on a scale, and notice how your confidence changes. Great thoughtful discussion Dr k! ❤

@sp123 8 месяцев назад

@@wkt2506 if humans were valued the same, we'd all make the same amount of money and have the same standard of living.

@rey6708 8 месяцев назад

@@sp123 bullshit. how much you make depends on the value you provide not the value you have as a being.

@chakritlikitkhajorn8730 8 месяцев назад

@@sp123value and income and net worth are not directly correlated. I can be the most uncool person who figure out loophole in financial system and get rich. I can be a dipshit person born in a rich family. I can also run a crypto scam and got away with it. Am I piece of shit or admirable that case?

@arcguardian 8 месяцев назад

I don't think success is a value one controls. Hardworking/charitable, sure, but "success" is geared ultimately toward perspective. U can measure hard work and charity, but perspective is subjective.

@dropyourself 8 месяцев назад

@@rey6708I enjoy how much value billionaires are generating. Owning capital requires you to just own and your wealth grows and in my opinion you're a leach stealing value.

@henryb6009 Месяц назад

That's actually a great video with wise advice.

@SPAMMAN123456789 7 месяцев назад

loved this talk, also analogies for all these phenomena/experiences you describe here 10/10.

@epitome.j 8 месяцев назад

Needed this today, thank you Dr. K. You remind me a lot of my therapist accept you don’t charge me for these “sessions.” Really appreciate you. As a dude in his 20s recovering from a long lived nihilistic and narcissist lifestyle, you’ve given me a lot of food for thought and tools to improve my people skills.

@steggopotamus 8 месяцев назад

Ok, I'm only saying this because it took me too long to understand what you meant. "Accept" Should be "except" in this case. Hope this helps others with similar brains to mine.

@vivvpprof 8 месяцев назад

Remember though that watching Dr K's videos is not a therapy substitute.

@Dolritto 8 месяцев назад

@@vivvpprofWhy?

@gnatdagnat 8 месяцев назад

its just legal distinction for liability lol@@Dolritto

@F22C1 8 месяцев назад

@@DolrittoI think people have to say that so if something goes wrong, they can't blame/sue the person who simply tried advising someone.

@tonychick8335 8 месяцев назад

"alpha/beta only happens in captivity or prison" "well why is this stuff on the rise?" seems that society is currently like a prison?

@saria8340 8 месяцев назад

also in schools and any other close environment with lots of people forced to meet each other every day for a long period of time.

@assassinzgod 7 месяцев назад

I think it exists in terms of social heiracrchies

@Josemen-wd5hf Месяц назад

no, that´s the thing: such a herarchy doesn´t exist. But the manosphere, even if they center their points around practices that only improve confidence, tell you that´s it´s not just about that, it´s about scalating throught a simplistic herarchy that´s non existent

@JakeMazurski 7 месяцев назад

Brilliant. Just wow. Thank you!

@earlgrey2130 8 месяцев назад

I don't wanna use dating apps. But i don't know how to meet potential partners otherwise. Everyone around me is in a relationship. Approaching women in the street/commute feels intrusive and i don't wanna be "that guy".. i wish i could meet and date without apps. But i feel like there is no alternative..

@tds7078 29 дней назад

Start approaching people through hobby events, museums, bars, sporting events, friend groups, church or through work.

@unknzwnn 8 месяцев назад

i love how you design these videos to be clickbait bs to draw us in like the rest but then basically say the opposite of what they’re telling us to do, if anything it actually put me off at first cus i was starting to realize ts on my own but now i see how different they are love your content! applying it can obviously be harder but nothing worth it in life is easy

@damson9470 8 месяцев назад

When someone invalidates my experiences and feelings i just get angry. In most cases i dont even feel the shame anymore

@damson9470 8 месяцев назад

Altho i do feel shame after a bit cus of the anger though

@TysonTheRand 8 месяцев назад

You really nailed every aspect of this.

@xct321 8 месяцев назад

Thank you so much for making this

@jesseshaver2262 8 месяцев назад

My confidence is so low now that I’m scheduled to get double jaw surgery in spring. Good looking guys have it so much better. And yes, I dressed well and had a top tier physique

@renegade2325 8 месяцев назад

Yeah it’s like people can’t accept the fact that how you look dictates how you’re treated by others in life, especially when it pertains to romantic relationships.

@nadjiao1832 7 месяцев назад

As a woman I experience the same thing. I’m treated differently depending on how much effort I put into how I look. We shouldn’t want to attract people who are only physically drawn to us though. It only leads to shallow relationships.

@BryGoose 8 месяцев назад

I am a man. I don't think I did anything wrong but my society hates me. I don't see why I should care what other people want me to do or be or act anymore

@ZipMapp 8 месяцев назад

Oh yes, I can relate to that. As far as I'm concerned we can all die tomorrow.

@ruugann 8 месяцев назад

Can’t argue with that, just focus on yourself and maybe be better for yourself not society.

@imsirelle 8 месяцев назад

live for yourself, voice your own opinions and the people that agree will find you. I stress that its your own opinions not something being pushed on you. please have a nice day :)

@frudda6087 Месяц назад

Sounds like your own feelings, i dont think anyone hates you. Your own voice makes you less productive, sounds like you act upon confirmation by others.

@ajbronson516 Месяц назад

@frudda6087 …did you not watch the video?

@captainboom6445 Месяц назад

Thank you for existing doc❤

@chuckyra3240 8 месяцев назад

Thanks, Dr. K. I really bought into this stuff and when I tried applying the mindset of these talks is what there was available, back in 2008 and up to this day, I was sure, there had to be something true about this value system, because it helped me, to finally get the girls I was dreaming of. To my luck I could kind of extract the knowledge, how to be cocky and present, not degrading. Back then, there was a very strict policy to not be degrading but to confuse the hell out of women with contradicting compliments. I am glad, I didn't go out preaching it, though becaus others who tried this stuff seemed to take everything they consumed l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y and that was painful to watch at best, because sometimes they had success with it xD It makes a lot of sense what you say, so thanks for clarifying this topic

@virtualalias 8 месяцев назад

You came back from touching grass to save the terminally online, Dr. K. You are a true bodhisattva.

@RijeBaro 8 месяцев назад

What an amazing video, i'm grateful to be subscribed to your channel Dr. By the way, i wanted to add something about "dating apps", there are a decent percentage added to the others of fake accounts, scammers, escort girls etc... Which definitely make it more biased.

@jamesdumas6602 7 месяцев назад

I'm 70 grandfather of 8 beautiful grand-teenagers and young adults. The online dating, hookup, and ghosting scene nowadays is so sad and pathetic. It used to be nice to go out on a first date, maybe dancing, dinner, maybe a goodnight kiss. I don't understand why any young person bothers with the online dating crap. It looks really stupid and demeaning to me.

@mammi7699 4 месяца назад

True sir

@Mikinaak2023 4 месяца назад

What kills me is that online dating was such garbage from its beginnings, why most us stopped. Back to basics so to speak. Not surprised that apps are garbage.

@wtfdtreats 4 месяца назад

understand that it was silent generation, baby boomers that ruined it. The weak men who gave into feminism are to blame for this. 💊

@JupiterSlim 3 месяца назад

@@wtfdtreatscry harder

@thekingofpotatoes1932 3 месяца назад

Unfortunately if you ask anyone below the age of 30 on how to meet people, they're immediately gonna say to try the apps. It's literally all we know now that third places have been mostly killed

@Papaconstantopoulos 8 месяцев назад

A wildly on point video, great work Dr. K and thank you. This one's definitely getting the good old share

@moneyglitch 8 месяцев назад

Honestly this might be the most incredible explanation of Red pill stuff I’ve ever seen. And I’m so glad that you put out these videos that acknowledge some male specific experiences with an actual scientific background and objectivity that doesn’t dismiss these experiences. You’re doing such a great service for people, I wish I had seen these videos 10 years ago lol

@trentvlak 7 месяцев назад

It's not a good explanation of trp as a whole. It's accurate for a minority of toxic rp content producers.

@requiemz22 8 месяцев назад

It is funny and ironic that Dr K ends this with (No flame, he's been an enormous help to me and many others, I just think it's funny) "Now what do you do? Well find out in my course on how to regain confidence"

@nekokna 8 месяцев назад

Yes hahahah

@shreyashdalvi4721 2 месяца назад

Thanks man really needed this

@jl1d_5 8 месяцев назад

Thank you with this open eyeing information, i know i still have a lot of room to knows, but i’m just glad that overtime my knowledge on this kind of thing is increasing even just a little over time.

@gemagic6457 8 месяцев назад

I love the gum under chairs analogy, makes it really obvious

@Megalesios 8 месяцев назад

I've seen several videos recently about exactly this. It is extremely worrying how much hostility men are met with when they express their struggles and ask for help. Often by the same people who tell men they need to express their emotions more.

@Teathling 8 месяцев назад

I was worried like mad when I daw that thumbnail and title but you did good as always

@Nemthel42 8 месяцев назад

The gum analogy, lol. Well spoken, thank you!

@Brakka86 8 месяцев назад

It keeps me safe from mother-in-laws, being married, being nagged and a life of misery being locked in a commitment to someone who demands my attention, time and resources.. while all I want in life is to be free, to live and die in peace. 0 interest in being "high value". I also have no motivation or interest to contribute to modern day society. Just let the vile thing rot.

@someone-ji2zb 8 месяцев назад

You can do whatever the crap you want, but the bottom line is that you are an anomaly, and it is perfectly normal to want to raise a family. Otherwise you likely wouldn't have been born if far more people had that mindset back when your parents conceived you. You may not want a woman, but for those that do; the only real issue is to not continually engage with women who don't share your values/beliefs (which you can find out on the first date if you don't mind not getting sex) and never bend over backwards for a woman. If you meet someone someday that is willing to submit in marriage, then great... if not, then that is fine as well. However... in laws and marriage are not inherently bad, nor are you guaranteed to be nagged by a woman you chose to marry if you actually engage in sexual self discipline and not marry out of desperation.

@Brakka86 8 месяцев назад

@@someone-ji2zb Maybe I am an anomaly, but it is how I escaped misery and depression. I had nothing to look forward to other than pressure from family and society to perform, to do my duty, comply with expectations: go to school, get good grades, being str8 A student never good enough, then go to uni, get a job get married. When I finally started to work I began to see the reality of the situation and how society really functions on a macro level. I went through relationships with women who were equally lost as I was, saw the future in other people's relationships and it all just made me insanely depressed. I never found any motivation, any meaning and was just pushing forwards simply out of fear and pressure. Naturally depression followed and I languished like that in misery for a decade at work. existing like an anxious zombie.. It was truly hell. The world seemed like hell, being trapped on a rock where suffering is an all pervasive evil and escape from it is only a fleeting moment of good. It was only in giving into the side of me that craved freedom from all this nonsense that I finally found meaning in life, motivation, no its more than that.. it feels like the embers of my soul and mind have finally produced fire and if I want it.. it can be a raging inferno. All I had to do was to point the middle finger to all the conditioning and embrace what kind of person I was. My prime directive in life is freedom and knowledge. There is no way I will allow this hell to ever control me again.

@grantsimpson4265 4 месяца назад

7 months off dating apps and honestly life has never been better. From my experience approaching people in person is so much more fulfilling and gives you and immediate answer if they are interested or not. Plus it helps build your confidence

@Chris-de2qc 8 месяцев назад

I had to figure this out myself over the last 10 years, so thank you for sharing this with all the men today.

@petorvic 7 месяцев назад

Brilliant, thanks so much for this clarification! 🙏🏼

@Vibycko 8 месяцев назад

My mother constantly reminded how other people have it worse, and some people don't have running water, and yes, that is indeed horrible, but it doesn't really help me feel better when like I'm failing a class, or have issues in a relationship or something completely unrelated to her examples, and it just made me feel worse than before opening up.

@wack... 8 месяцев назад

yeah I don't understand why anyone thinks this is helpful in any way. We have only had our existence. Im sure someone who's been shot would rather stub their toe but it doesnt mean stubbing your toe isnt painful

@secretagent4610 8 месяцев назад

Exactly. As something I read from someone said "Just because you have a nail in your shoe doesn't take the rock out of mine."

@nekokna 8 месяцев назад

Yeah i feel sad for them besides feeling worse myself as i cant do anything to truly help. Dunno why people feel happier thinkingg about others doing worse

@mormegil84 8 месяцев назад

Yeah. I hate that. It's usually what boomers say to millennials.

@jaredbitz 8 месяцев назад

Totally agree with the sentiment to get off of dating apps. It's actually pretty gross the way that they purposefully encourage people to evaluate each other so shallowly. It would be the easiest thing in the world for Tinder to make you look at somebody's profile for 30 seconds before being able to swipe left or right, and that alone would probably lead to a lot better matches. The fact that they don't is, to me, proof that they have only ever cared about gaining more users and showing them more ads.

@paintkerrypaint Месяц назад

some of the best advice I have heard on RU-vid so far....

@StardustMonkey 7 месяцев назад

Nice well rounded relatively unbiased overview of this issue with compassion for people! Liked and subscribed! I have seen that once I listened to an episode or two about men’s health podcast of something like Rogan or Andrew huberman then in my RU-vid feed was all this low value high value men stuff… my first response was “oh man this is late stage capitalism where we only have marketplace thinking infecting how we value humans and bring back dowry’s?” … and that is interesting part of it. But you hit the nail on the head. As I watched some of these videos there was just enough kernels of wisdom and validation of men’s problems for me to finish these videos and reflect on what part was toxic crap and what part was wise.

@virtualalias 8 месяцев назад

Men: "I'm going to score on Tinder!" Pareto Principle: "No."

@the1stmetalhead 8 месяцев назад

lmao

@cundan0484 8 месяцев назад

Dr K did a big brain move choosing the name of this video and putting a thumbnail that is emotionally engaging so that the algorithm shows this video to red pill folks lol

@davidhuang5645 7 месяцев назад

That was very very well said. Awesome channel!

@sodden9732 7 месяцев назад

my man you have spit facts right here. thank you

@MangoOverthere 8 месяцев назад

I hope this video reaches and resonates with people. If you're self-aware enough to feel that you need change, just do it. It's okay to seek guidance but it's not always going to come from the right person.

@beansmccullough7660 8 месяцев назад

ShoeOnHead also did a good job illustrating how red pill content is just about the only place guys will find any validation online. So many fall down that rabbit hole because they feel it’s the only place anyone will listen to them and not immediately shut them down

@Boarderguy96 7 месяцев назад

Its almost like calling all content that fairly discusses mens issues from mens perspectives "red pill content" is intentionally derogatory to prevent men from sharing their real experiences with one another, learning from them, and finding solutions to their problems.

@michaelangst6078 7 месяцев назад

I met the girl I am dating now off TikTok and my looks in my 30's have fallen off a cliff. I know I can make any random person laugh at any time so I have a chance with any single woman as far as i'm concerned... More men need to work on developing an attractive personality and stop blaming everything on their looks

@debanikgoswami4834 7 месяцев назад

@@michaelangst6078 I think you are confusing redpill with blackpill .

@Jorbz150 6 месяцев назад

@@michaelangst6078 Looks have a stronger correlation with getting first dates than any factor of personality. I could point you to research showing this if you want. I'd be interested if you could find a single study suggesting otherwise.

@LittleMew133 5 месяцев назад

That's actually sad and alarming. Men have feelings too.

@Madchris8828 8 месяцев назад

This is an incredibly well balanced good video with adressing issues of both sides that I can potentially see. Thanks Dr. K

@mr.jasonbrown 7 месяцев назад

bro...BRO! this is pure gold. thank you doctor brosenheimer.

@guestguest9051 8 месяцев назад

I used to watch a lot of those manosphere videos on youtube and they usually do validate my experience and there are some interesting stuff that I agree with. However, the deeper I go, the more things feel like "We hate women" and then I stopped watching them. I don't hate women at all. I hate how society treats men and women unfairly but in different ways. I want to watch them for one side, not to hate the other side.

@KxNOxUTA 8 месяцев назад

A very good approach and glad you caught onto whatwas going on, too what was helpful and left what was not.