I hear you, now rewind, look yourself in the mirror and press record: “I am enough and I embrace my childhood trauma because I’m ready for a relationship.” You deserve all the good life has to offer. Peace and love on your journey. ❤
I find that matching his effort, not his energy, works pretty well. If I just responded to a deep conversation we were having and he doesn't respond back for a while, I don't keep trying to continue the conversation until he replies back. If he never replies back, that's an answer, and I don't have to feel bad about walking away. I can be secure enough with myself that it was a nice experience to open up with someone and connect vulnerably without being attached to the outcome. If he does reply back, with effort to what I said, then I know he's still interested in connecting. But I don't have to prioritize my response back knowing he hasn't been prioritizing his. I'm not trying to play a game (and I hope this isn't one), and I want to be respectful and understanding of his busy life, but matching effort feels right.
trust your womanly instinct ladies. Keep safe while dating, no matter the age, meaning: 1. Tell family and friends close to you where you are going, who you are with and his car rego. 2. Get yourself to the date and back yourself. 3. Don't unload all your trauma, negative experiences from family and friends and exes. They can use that against you. You are valuable and deserve to be treated well. You're saftey comes first Queens 👑
The only part I disagree with is that hookup culture is at all healthy, it's pretty damaging. I had one hookup turn into a stalker that lasted years. Please be careful ladies.
i do agree. and also everytime you hook up and give your body to somebody its damaging your soul. your energy is shared to so many people and will left you souless.. you will feel empty..
20.50 The 3 steps：super profound 1. What was my trigger? What disregulated you? 2. Feel the physical sensation in your body for 90 seconds, identify what the sensations are. Focus on the feelings. 3. What is the narrative? Do you have the facts to support this narrative, what are contrary? Try to reframe it. When did you feel it for the first time? Don’t self-abandon. Be there for yourself when it’s uneasy, discomfort. Don’t project your past to the other person you are seeing
It’s funny when they go. You can’t bring up your act. You can’t compare me to your ex and I’m like how am I pissed to not repeat the past I expect you to compare me to your ex cause I’m sure you don’t want your ex do you?😂😂🤦♀️🤦♀️. Wow double wow Somebody comes to me and says that I’m the one they just know and they got butterflies and God told them in the first few minutes. I’m quite concerned because there’s nothing wrong with saying all this person beautiful whatever but that’s not what is it about my ex-husband did the same thing and he left me because he said he didn’t like who I was like the inside in the outside guess what the outside is gonna deteriorate !!!!
The same guy gaslit me by telling me. I don’t think you’re ready for a relationship. I’m like OK therapist but last time I checked, I hired a therapist to help me with dating and she told me to date you.😂😂. I think we should see the therapist about what I did.😂 is Mr. GQ too good to be true right by saying I shouldn’t bring up my ex-husband last time. I brought my ex-husband. There was like a little argument. I’m like there’s two arguments. We made it to the f… date and you got to be kidding me! This feels exactully like my last just wrapped up in a prettier package. My ex didn’t have any money at all. A big reason I avoid these guys. I think they’re better off with the sugar babies. There of the ones that tell them exactly what they wanna hear and they’re perfect for them and they perform all kinds of tricks for money but it’s a shallow relationship go get that I’m far from shallow. I’m real and I’m gonna tell the truth.! 🙏🥂
Yes!! I wish I'd heard this this time last year, which would have helped me with a situation I've allowed myself to be in. I've bought dating advice from men (online). Listening to the woman and with the help of a therapist and I'm going to brave up this weekend and ask what the hell it is he wants from me and I'm going to tell him what I want .
Great wisdom. I'm 66 and widowed and started dating. Knowing this information is priceless. I'm much calmer and empowered and at peace. Thanks young ladies! You're awesome. 😊
Open, trusted, shared with each others digital devices, I have nothing to hide, how many women are uncomfortable sharing because they are concealing digital deception ?
I'm 62 and out of a relationship for 7 yrs. Thanks to this advice, I know how to ask questions but also how to answer them. It was a struggle, but worth the experience journey. Thanks ❤
I have anxious attachment style relationship the more I listens to other podcasts the more I get depressed, when listened to this lady Zohar I understand myself more. I love this lady so much I feel set free.
I am currently in this process, she is exactly right, walk away from people who criticize, want you to be different, those are most likely narcs, abusers,etc. I don’t care who doesn’t like me, I appreciate those who do!
He was ignoring my calls and texts intermittently. I got tired of it and Blocked him. I’m not chasing nobody! He’s a Coward and Disrespectful! Why would I continue to support that behavior because he always comes back when he’s ready! Well I’m not ready indefinitely ! So BLOCK AND GOOD RIDDANCE!
I ended up blocking a guy who was playing me. He wasn’t listening to me & expecting me to brainlessly, follow. I may be blond, but I’m not dumb, nor am I going to suck up to him to have a relationship. It’s rather stupid, of him to expect me to blindly follow. I’ve been around the block & not going to play along with his game!!
The words I see that stand out about your post: "brainless" "I may be blonde" "Im not dumb" "stupid" "blindly follow"-- as the lady said in the video--- "what's the real trigger here? What memory in your subconscious memory bank has brought you to this conclusion about him." What do u feel? Sit with it.... get to the root cause. I'm also doing this sane exercise myself going forward so just know there's no judgement at all.
@@kingdom_manifestations I think In getting to the root of it, was that he wasn’t listening. I finally had to cut him off. I think his ego got hurt, because it wasn’t long B4, I realized texting him was a waist of my time.
@@kingdom_manifestations There's the root experience and then there's your current experience of being ignored and disrespected. The current one you can step out of by walking away from the person who's belittling you .
oMG!!!! That is absolutely true. thats why i dont like to be single and afraid to be with myself because it reminds me during my childhood im all alone at home and i hate it. i hate to be alone
So much this! When I feel them pull away (which I guess is healthy to some regard) my abandonment issues are super triggered! In this new relationship he has pursued but as he’s pulled back a bit I am angry at myself for believing this time might be different.
@@Tratamientos44 They are always bored, have a roster, and when their top 3 or 5 females are unresponsive they start thinking where they can get their dopamine fix. Then they remember the good women, knowing the good ones have genuine emotions and empathy and won’t let them on read. Wrong. We are not dumb anymore. So just block him. As I used to say as a teenager, my door was open all the time for you, and yet, you chose to leave. Now I don’t discuss, when I feel something is off I block him immediately, let him go back to his league, focus on my work and wellbeing and new men are there in minutes (when you detach, completely).
Dear ladies: • breadcrumbing - time to block him • manipulative - time to block him • financially unstable - time to block him • not loyal - time to block him • aggressive - time to block him • love bombing - time to block him • devaluation phase - time to block him • stealing money from you - time to block him • hiding his phone - time to block him • watches red pill content - time to block him • no small gifts - time to block him • bad in bed - time to block him • not completely compatible - time to block him • calls you after 10pm - time to block him • has no friends - time to block him • stalking you - time to block him • forcing you to do anything - time to block him • weird way of thinking eg satan!st - time to block him • lazy af - time to block him • thinks men are superior - time to block him • spends more time doing his makeup and hair than you do 😁 - time to block him
The point she made about not asking certain questions because we don’t want to answer them is very true for me. I don’t ask because I don’t want to have to answer them myself 😩
Digging DEEP with my therapist, breathwork and ending with visualization and meditation, self forgiveness has helped me finally allow myself to succeed and accept and love myself. I’m 52, raised 3 daughters on my own, completed nursing school, and overcame addiction & an abusive childhood of sexual abuse & a mom that hides from everything. NOW I love the bad ass I’ve become- I’m strong and deeply loving & emotional. If a man I meet doesn’t like that- NEXT! ❤ Thank you for your content Lisa!
I will always be straight, genuine, transparent, and real and loving if that's not what someone else wants they're not right for me. Thank you so much. This is how I've been feeling.
I think if your dates are super strong, sharing feelings and loving each others company etc... and then not hear from them via text for a few days is inconsistent behaviour. Or you start to feel like if you send them a text your harrasing them..theres an issue. Yes, it triggers an insecurity in myself. In my opinion, if they are not talking to me, they probably are talking to someone else.. sending a text or calling in my mind is the bare minimal effort.
Omg this is absolute GOLD. I wish I watched it before I made the decision to stop seeing someone I really liked. Things I could’ve said if I wasn’t operating out of fear / anxiety. I wish I had said, “I really like you and developed feelings over time.” Initially I wasn’t too interested nor did I feel a “spark.” As a result, I couldn’t be myself around him because I had my guard up and I held back. I wish I would have been more open and let my walls down and allowed him to get to know the real me. Instead, that wall drove him away as a result he didn’t put in the effort I desired. Oh well, a learning lesson and I will def need to work on myself and my growth. Tbh we barely dated but I feel kind of heart broken that I let that go 😭.
I do that too. I just found out I have a fearful avoidant attachement style so now Im learning about it to become more aware of how it manifests. I took 2 tests online so I suggest you do that. One is on Personal developemnt schoool website which is also a youtube channel here. Really eye opening.
Yes!!! This is me. At first he showed lots of interest, and I wasn't too sure about him. Then as time went on, the more I found out about him, the more I began to like about him. I was afraid of showing my true self in case he didn't like me. There were many things I wanted to say and didn't. We weren't in a relationship where we were dating, it was an online and phone relationship. We met up several times. Then he told me he'd met someone and I was heartbroken and hurt. A could of weeks ago he contacted me, I braved up and asked about the other woman, he said they'd seen each other for a couple of weeks. I am now going to be brave this weekend and ask what it is he wants from me and why he actually contacted me, as he hasn't replied to a few of my messages. I'm not going to put up with being messed around any longer!
Less than 2 minutes in and I have total respect for this woman. I like her and totally agree with her. I think these fake ass apps are building a very rocky foundation for decades to come.
The no texting but is what I'm going through right now. I've got panic attacks. I do realise this situation is triggering and wakes up the past trauma. Hardest thing I've been through since the narcissistic abuse
I'm excited to finding this channel. I have been dating, and I don't have time for the games that so many people recommend. Boundaries, healthy attachment, yes, but I'm not chasing and not maintaining interest in people who aren't good for me.
i dont need playback speed 1.5 times, sabrina zohar talk already so fast. but i always love her! seems like she is my sister and always telling me the truth about real life dating. i know its not fake because its from her experience. i literally follow her anywhere
My experience if a guy really is interested he would text next day and show consistent pursuing behaviors in planning for dates. Good advice for not taking rejection personally. Thank you.
This heffa is the TRUTH!!! EVERY THING she mentioned in this interview were either things I've been through or are currently going through and still learning and unlearning and I'm 40.
I agree fully with the woman's opening advice about the anxious attachment if you try and become what you feel the other partner needs like if they didn't like it when their expartner didn't talk about their feelings and shut them out and your naturally a private person - then you'd be abandoning your true self to meet their needs when a simple conversation could be had where it is communicated that you don't talk about your feelings because you deal with yours differently but if you don't do that and have that conversation you are altering your personality for another person. I was actually thinking about the relationship between me and my husband recently but here's the thing, I don't feel self conscious around him like I have to live my life by rules. For example not to swear just because he wants a lady like woman, or to pretend to be okay when things are bothering me because he doesn't want drama - you know things like that - I'm literally my full self around him and I feel comfortable. I don't feel shamed, or embarrassed or like I should have tried to gain his favour - we bicker over things we disagree with. It's healthier to argue in a relationship because people who really don't there's a problem because I don't work to appease him and therefore I'm not stressed with that burden of needing to be self conscious over what I say, how I say what I say (I am that way with my parents but that's just how the dynamic is between us) but because I'm not that way with my husband I'm happier and healthier because I'm not in an anxious state of needing to please him and because the anxiety isn't there mentally I'm free. I don't have to think I have to meet all of his needs for him to like me but if I know he appreciates it when I run a bath for him using my bath bombs I'll do it because I want to make him feel like I care for him..
Holy shit I could not agree with the intro more. I always thought the dating advice like that is so manipulative and I never understood how it would get me a relationship I actually wanted. Being authentic is absolutely key. That’s why dating is such a nightmare these days, no one is who they are, they’re all playing games. So over it. Excited to listen to the rest of this.
So, in defence of younger folks: I’m 23, and I’ve spent the past 5 years working on myself, on all the childhood trauma, cellular memory, family karma, perspective on relationships... I’ve done lots of different types of healing sessions from psychotherapy, hypnosis, coaching, family constellations, numerology, tarot reading, you name it. I do think people from my generation (aka gen Z) are more open to therapy and to understand where our behaviour comes from. I’m not saying we have it figured out, but we do are opening ourselves to make things differently from an earlier age :)
Thats epic, I'm gen X, 44, I did it all in my 30s & obviously still check in & stay interested in this kind of self work & learning. I think it's amazing what you've done, I only hope my teens are as healthy & I've done a good job & all this pain & self work has been worth it & I've broken the cycle. All the very best to you going forward, never forget to never accept less than YOU deserve, dont settle.. 🥰
I admire several things about gen z, actually, and a lot of them come down to their open minds. I feel like my generation (x) has been transitional in some ways, maybe not enough to benefit ourselves all the time, but I hope we leave something better emotionally than we got. ❤
Gen Z is the best!!! I have 3 children that are gen z and their emotional intelligence blows me away!! I have hope for the future of this planet because I know the souls coming in are so evolved! Thank you for doing your part to do ‘the work’. As someone who has also spent over the last five years healing, I know it’s not always easy. 😘🥰
This is by far the best channel I have watched on this sort of thing. I will be unsubscribing to the other stuff I have been watching and subscribing to yours, it's so real and eye opening. I did the highs and lows for 20 years with my ex. I am in a new relationship now and get those thoughts of wow this is too constant, too steady, no drama but it's because I don't feel I deserve a healthy relationship. I need to work on myself and my own abandonment issues so I can stay in this healthy relationship where my boyfriend shows up for me and my daughter every single day. I cannot thank you enough for making me see this part of me today. God bless you both :)
I agree with the mirroring is fabulous! Being the one who chases as a women is devaluing yourself I’ve done it. It’s like the natural process was reversed. Not right. Wonderfully honest podcast /interview xx
Did that in my marriage and never again! I don’t even get excited anymore. Dating is strange. I’m like sure now let us See how long this last. 😂😂. I just have fun with it and don’t sleep with them or kiss them. Not holding my breath
I agree, i have to let the man come towards me and if they don't, i don't chase them. It's not the man for me then. It's just human biology I'll never chase a man again...
44:58 So true I've had a lot of men get upset because I don't text back fast enough. I'm a FT worker, single mom of 3. Sir, you're not my current priority. Accept that I'm busy & I'll respond back once I slow down for the day. It's a major turn off rather than them simply asking my next availability for a lunch date, etc.
Thank you for also stating that this shit IS GOING TO COME UP in relationship. Ive had ppl tell me how much work theyve done alone and that they are solid and ive watched them crumble in relationship.
This was such a good episode! I know I've come a long way since my abusive LTR, 5 yrs of singledom & entering a new healthy relationship. It was nice to hear confirmation that I have been on the right tracks, but also how I can improve in areas where I've felt confused or unsure moving forward. 💗🤘💋
I love this because saying no to a partner is like a punch in the gut for them and it has ruined relationships for me because they expect a yes all the time.
I left my marriage not because I didn’t love/d my partner. He’s very narcissistic and always blamed others. When I broke up he said to me that I’m the one breaking up and what he’s doing on dating apps 2-3 Days after our break up is non of my concern because I was the one breaking it. Throughout the whole relationship he lacked understanding and empathy Communication about my feelings never been important and always blamed back to me. That at the End he said he regretted me because I never respected him as a man while I put up to his bs for years. Started my own career after staying home with kids for 8 years and now I’m the bad one, just like all the other exes !!! This break up been very very hard I saw how much I need to heal…I wasn’t the perfect one either but emotional and physical neglect hurt her very much. You are married but still alone…that’s not a life I’m 26
I'm there, too, in my 40s. He's the one who's never going to learn a thing. Be glad you are capable of it. Find a support group for trauma and/or domestic violence, online if you have to. It can help a LOT to get feedback from people who have been there, for sure. ❤
He said things just to hurt you because a narcissist can never be wrong, you know. Start a new hobby, join a group that shares an interest you have, fill your life with activities so you don't sit around replaying endlessly the nasty things that man said to you. And when the memories come, imagine a huge big mirror in front of you, facing his way, so everything he said reflects back on him, without even reaching you. Try this a few times -- it really does help.
Loved her tips on how to emotionally regulate ❤🎉❤ brilliant. 80% of the healing happens in the body. 20% intellectual - feeling is the secret to healing 🎉
This has been the best podcast in years! Sabrina killed it Lisa I am so grateful for your platform and what you do for us ladies! This was the reminder and validation I needed!!!!
This woman is phenomenal! I feel so much better after watching this video. I have been feeling more confident in my current mindset and life and this confirmed everything for me. Thank you
He is into you if he's CONSISTENT. No mixed signals. Keep your spirit of discernment sharp, ladies! Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on. It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself (over the damn illusion/fantasy!) A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. Simple. Simple. Non-dramatic and uncomplicated. I don’t, under any circumstance: play these childish-abusive-controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. (Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!) Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period. 1. Visualize. Pray. 2. Act as if: you already have that relationship that you desire! 3. Celebrate love whenever and wherever you can 4. Have fun, build trust within yourself 5. Have faith, they’re on their way!
Slept with mine 1st date nd 10 yrs later still here, but I think the common pattern is I didn't think or was not looking for anything serious or I probably would of held off and acted like a princess 😂
This by far was the most riveting interview I have seen with you. I can so relate to Sabrina and she gives me hope for healing even though I'm still on my forever journey. Oh my so much relatable to her and the examples are so wonderful. Just beyond an awesome episode.
Sabrina, you have all my answers girl. I'm gonna turn this around. I finally get me. Understanding myself is huge. Thank you for being real!!! ❤ Nearly word for word has been my life. The anxiety- so much control. Now I can see it, I can take my life back! 🥰
I've been hanging out with a friend, and I am finding an amazing new balance by just being myself. Not trying to sell a car to someone who only wants a ride on the bicycle. I get guys that tell me what they will accept from me, but never ask what I want or need. It's a very strange and good relationship. I am practicing putting good boundaries in place and setting and maintaining those.
This was a brilliant and BADASS convo!!! Thank you for introducing me to Sabrina Zohar and her work!! So many gems were dropped!! Lisa your channel is awesome!!!
Yes the emotional attachment to relationships is the best explanation I have heard ever. It is because we are insecure not the relationship. If he is angry and never happy with you it is his problem not yours. I would rather this lady did not use the f word though. We can discuss this without the angry f word.
Watching & listening to her guest Sabrina is like watching/listening to myself..guessing we've both had similar CPTSD and childhood trua/wounds..and I have high energy, talk/process fast and have been told to take it down or I'm too much which I now reply "then find someone who is less!" 😅 and we've have done THE work and are now more self aware..I give the advice she is giving to my friends. And I got some good AHA moments here too..thanks for this discussion. 💚🙏
3:30 OMG Thank you Sabrina. I didn’t expect this but when you said « can I go back to that little me and give Her permission to say no », tears came out of nowhere.
It's true that it's not black and white re: 'He wanted to he would', however there is a fine line in a sea if gray between 'he is a narcand manipulating/bread crumbing' vs he's got a wound/trigger and can't despite wanting to. There is a lot of risk in giving the benefit of the doubt that it's the later.
@@azu74 I think if you start to feel more and more anxious or unsafe around this person, it's time to end it. Stress kills, and these males aren't worth it.
@@PhumlaPushTyutwanaI have options but no connections that are deep and epic! These men nowadays are weak. They abandoned ship fast over the little thigns…so telling!
