Stop Living A Life Of "Shoulds" 

Maybe there isn't a right answer. Who honestly knows anymore?

@@tadiqshahid4625 Speaking from experience I can tell you that I went into a degree without knowing what I wanted and burnt out so hard. I wanted to take a gap year after highschool but I felt preassured from my parents to go to uni imediately, so I did. Now I have figured out my purpose and what I truly want, I am switching degrees and will be persuing something completely different. I have so much energy and drive to go study now. Never had that in the previous degree.

@@tadiqshahid4625 Also having a purpose and goals essentially fixed my depression and social anxiety. I now have such high motivation and drive, and I want to be social opposed to being very introverted before.

@@Limuzins That is very insightful. Thank you for sharing your experience.

@@Limuzins if u dont mind ,im kinda in the same situation as you were,fully confused, could u maybe say how u had figured out ur purpose or the pathway towards it?

be Machiavelli

you lost me there, what's the point of giving up morality?

​@@spanzotab I don't think they've meant giving up on it completely, but more like "Ok, this is the right thing to do, but what do I *want* to do?". It's hard to constantly do the "objectively moral" thing and be happy with your life, if even possible.

@@spanzotab key word 'perceived'

​@@spanzotabpoint is to explore your true self

not me trying to prove myself worthy, valid, and deserving by collecting more degrees than humanly reasonable

Hey, if that brings you joy, sure

​@@jeremynguyen8317 nooooo. You don't need to prove yourself worthy. Everyday you breathe on this earth, you give life to a plant. That plant feeds an animal. That animal may feed a person. That person goes on to do good. You are already worthy for just existing and dragging yourself out of bed despite the struggle every single day. 🫶 you are valid.

😂

Only of it's a good enough reason for you

May I ask what you have?

​@@henwoo3052 my money is on ligma

@@oz_jones my son has suffered from severe Ligma for over 5 years now, praying they come up with a cure. 🙏🙏🙏

@@facedab9073 _"Who the hell is Steve Jobs?"_

​@@Drekromancer Candice Steve fit in yo Jobs

Non is a bad thing, just different. And i appreciate both the people for their sense of helping their community

Ikr? I don't wanna diss the guy, but it's super obvious that helping people as a doctor is different.

Peope don't do what they want because it takes a lot of time, energy, money, talent, etc. They dont have.

I don't get it

I'm a therapist, and I LOVE saying this to my clients. It always gets a laugh, and then a moment of genuine consideration right after. 🙂

@@radioactivepower600nanaspersec it kinda sounds like "stop shitting on yourself"

@@roykent2316 Ohhhh, ok, thank you Double meaning jokes are quite hard for me as a non-native, so again, thanks a ton :D

@@radioactivepower600nanaspersec you‘re welcome! same, i totally get that! have a nice day 😊

OUCH!

@@Dimitris_Half fair- I think most would. But it struck me because while it’s not necessarily guaranteed true for everyone, it is kind of a kick in the pants to actually put in the work to figure out what life means for you. It directly goes against the mentality of laziness and just trusting that purpose will fall in your lap.

System administrator looks like a great job for you!

@@vinylSummer I've been applying for stuff like that for weeks, sob It's good to know I'm on the right track though

yeah i'm in vet school by a complete accident. seems fine so far.

So u went to med school for purpose. Which is what he is saying 😂

My passion is mainly porn anime and video games

​@@johnpulawski35 alright u could stop right there dude

What purpose does it provide?

yeah that works

for what?

@@kelvinpina3392 Famiry bro

Yes that's the best answer

​@@kelvinpina3392buy cool thing

Nice

Allow resistance to be there. Observe it, be with it fully. It has to be seen and allowed to run its course before it eventually subsides (after a long time, most likely). You can learn mindfulness strategies to do that. (That is the word to look up.)

Ah, Vim! Have you heard of Vim? I use Vim, and I used to have this shouldn't mentality battling against it. I guess I've been through this shouldn't cycle so many times that I've trained myself.

@@theodorealenas3171 I have no idea what Vim is.

@@CulusMagnus Well said, friend. ❤

Can I ask what kind of volunteering you do?

I just entered med school under the same exact pressures you are describing, and from what I've seen, very few people have a passion for medicine and even fewer want the long hours that come with it, but they all do it anyway because they crave the stability of this career path which is seemingly future-proof, and the money and the fact that society puts doctors on a pedestal are a nice bonus

I feel like we're in the same boat man. My parents also don't pressure me into going to med school. I pressure myself even though I'm not completely sure if it's for me.

Go to med school man. The money, prestige, and stability is unparalleled. No other career comes close. It's probably one of the best career paths to exist.

A job is not everything and being a doctor is a good career and you don't have to sellout each ounce of moral you have.Let me tell you a secret,everything in the world is intersting and could be a passion and every job that feels meaningfull and has challanges in it will leave you satisfied at the end of the day. If you have a really burning passion(really not just a hobby or a passing interest) than go for chemistry,its facinating and helpfull to society

I know people hate this advice because it feels like such an obligation but it really works: Journal regularly, as close to daily as you can. Even if you write "I don't know what to write" sometimes your brain will give you more after. A lot of my most insightful entries start with me complaining about the fact that I don't know what to write lol It's the quickest way to see patterns in your life because you have it written down (or typed out) right in from of you and go look through it at any point. Example: If you find yourself constantly writing about how much this one friendship stresses you out, you know you have to think about that friendship. That might mean y'all have to sit down and talk about it, it might mean realizing that you're putting a lot of energy where you don't even want to. Journaling helps you think that stuff through. Speak of which, some health stuff has interrupted my journalling for too long and this is reminding me to get back it. I'm gonna go complain about it in my journal now 😂

To add to the response above, there is a lot you can do. Try writing down lists of things that have given you real enjoyment in the past, which factors were--you think--responsible for that enjoyment and think of jobs that involve those factors. Furthermore, learning mindfulness to let go of the feeling of pressure and expectation is very helpful. Simply if you feel external pressure, authentic desire cannot surface, because authentic desire threatens your ability to live up to the external pressure. Journalling is also a very good alternative indeed.

When it comes to law, I don't know if it's not a good idea to make them based on ideals. You imagine a society where laws are based on reality ?? Huh

Thats fantastic. You acn volunteer a little at an animal shelter they could always use more vets because most of the animals are sick(from my exprience volunteering). If you will become a vet and volunteer you can really save lives that have no other chance of survival

@@alexander-yf3bp that’s the plan ideally

And now you are studying endocrinology?

Very true. There are so many things people do that probably won't benefit them or even go against their self interest cus it's the right thing to do (giving blood, voting when your vote is a drop in an ocean, returning your shopping cart when you're done with it) and people still assume we're inherently self-interested

Looking more into the eightfold path might be a good start. That's not very specific sorry, it's been a while since I looked into it so I can't think of a channel off the top of my head, but I hope searching that can help you💕

@@sourgreendolly7685 TY 🙏🏾

As a patient - it would help use go through less crappy doctors too honestly. Anyone going into the medical careers for anything but passion - please reconsider. Patients get hurt by those who's hearts aren't in it. Good luck, future doctor 💕 Also your username has me rolling 😂

@@sourgreendolly7685 Aww thank you so so much for your encouragement! Yeah, from what I've studied it seems like most of crappy patient experiences stem heavily from physicians being overburdened/spread too thin and just not having the time or energy to engage in a more constructive way, but also definitely there is a nonzero and problematic presence of people in medicine who simply don't really want to be there and/or don't have the emotional intelligence or other soft skills necessary to be compassionate and effective care providers. From what I can tell, though, the medical education world is shifting and so are overall paradigms in medicine, so although the change isn't happening fast enough (just like so many great shifts right now), it IS happening! And thank you lol I'm thrilled with the responses this username has been getting XD I love popularizing goofy neologisms

I think it's valid, I recommend stealing.

@@yolopicturesxd.4593 loll

@@yolopicturesxd.4593 tried it. Got my ass beat

You will like drug dealing mate

That's all well and good but unless you got a family to support or plan on giving some of your money to charity then you won't remember it on your deathbed

Yeah because most of us doesn't know what we truely like and so go to uni because it seems like the right path, although without any direction. I must say you are lucky to successfully discovered your interest at a young age, me endlessly trying and everything seems okay to me but easily get bored and painful in the end.

Peope go to uni because most good jobs require degrees

And as for helping people if you pay off your college debt and work your way up you'll have (okay depending on where you live of course) a very high salary that could be used to support a good cause like Fred Hollows Foudation or Malaria and save hundreds or even thousands more lives.

It’s a video on Chris Williamson’s channel

You can choose to do something on your own (not followed by that inner feeling of "you should do It because thats what's right) or you can choose to do it because thats what you were taught is right, one has an inner self authentic motivation, the other one has a social weight of what's suposed to be right, that's basically the difference, so when someone doesn't authentically want to do something or get somewhere but still do it, that can backfire in many ways.

Wear condoms then

Good point tho

@@LycanKai14 Anyone can look shitty in a short clip. Don't throw out the baby with the bath water, there's a lot of useful stuff in the full videos. Also - take what works and leave the rest. It's a lot harder to figure out what works if you're looking for a source that doesn't say stuff you disagree with sometimes in my experience. Just some food for thought.

​@@LycanKai14 I get your point but i think you missunderstood it, i think what he really ment was that Med school is a really good example for this topic of "Shoulds" because thats a career that most people/parents would like their sons to join because it falls on the category of careers that tends to offer the most financial security, so most people (sons, but not everyone) tends to join just because they still don't know where to join and accept just because a natural concern from their parents to his son to choose "wisely" according to fanancial security, so the context of this clip is that he has analyzed individual cases where he found that they really didn't authentically wanted to go to medschool but they did because of their parents (knowing that its not everybody case) so he helped them by leting them get to that conclussion by themselves asking them those questions, but he never tells that is a general advice cause its not everybody's case, its just the ones that are doing it just because "they should do" what their parents expect from them, but i get that your missunderstanding is realated to a biased tought that he's leading people to not join Medschool and that isn't really his point. There's a lot of missinterpretations that can bias our perception, so i think that before judging someone's work we should ask ourselves if we're really geting all the pieces of the puzzle, in other words the context.

@@LycanKai14 I think that can fall under "Common sense" so he wont need to explain a whole lot on the clip and make it longer, i haven't watched the complete video but still get what he really ment, and i get that not everyone has the same sense of understanding the underlying context, but at the same time i can't blame anyone for not being "Extremely explicit/specific" for every scenario, thats why he always puts a disclaimer on every video he uploads, on that matter i think you can argue that he should put a disclaimer for every clip too and for that i would agree, but i wouldn't agree on talking shit right away just because i didn't get the picture.

@@LycanKai14 I wasn't even talking about you, but can you now see how a BIASED mind can alter explicit information too? The same applies for his info.

@@LycanKai14 but to be fair he's way better than other therapists I've ever met and watched. Even when it comes to his shorts I only disagree on this one.