Stop Self-Sabotage With This One Vital Step 

I find that when things get good, I seem to get bummed out. I lack energy and motivation and it really sucks!

This explains why I've been dealing with insomnia! I end up having no energy because I can't (or don't allow myself to??) sleep and then I can use the excuse of having no energy to avoid doing what's good for me and my growth!

This is what I call a champagne problem (a good problem to have) - but nonetheless, it's a problem. I've suffered from this, but each step of the way you need to remind yourself "This is what I want, this is what I need!"

First I thought you said Today's question comes from tomorrow - and I was like omg time travel O_O

Oh so that is a THING! Good to know I thought I was crazy... Why do you feel bad when everything is going great?

Self-sabotaging is a major struggle we all suffer from. Whether it'd be running away from happiness, success, self-care, etc. Personally, I often ask myself, "Am I going to run away from this opportunity or situation, and then regret it in the future? Should I let a trivial feeling get the better of me? Or am I going to take it by the horns and hold myself accountable for my own happiness?" Being aware of your emotions and analyzing them is a critical skill to overcoming obstacles in life. Being afraid is just an emotion-really. Live with a "don't give a f--- attitude," but *never* lose sight of your morals and standards. Have pride and love for yourself-for that will radiate unto others around you.

Oh yes, I've had this many times. My self-sabotage usually kicks in thinking "who am I to be so happy? Who am I to have all that I want?". All sorts of worthiness questions start to pop up but now I'm just glad I'm aware of it. When it does happen, I can recognise it and kick that sh*t thinking to the curb!!

I also wanted to talk to this green eyed girl. I asked her out. SHE AGREED. I panicked. End of Story. I realized that the worst thing than not having something is having something and not being able to handle it. When you don't love yourself you cannot love others because you cannot give something to someone you don't even have. Positive self talk is the first step. The rest will fall into place.

Oh my goodness...I'm experiencing this right now! Thanks you!!!!!!!!! I keep reminding myself this is the life I've been dreaming of. This is what I want. This is the life I'VE CREATED!

Love the personal sharing marieforleo - thank you :)

Some people self-sabotage because they subconsciously hate themselves but can't reconcile their windfall with their internal perception of themselves.

This is what may have happened in my latest panic attack. Things were just going too well!

Wow was I happy to watch this! I spent last week with a giant headache, body aches, and complete lack of motivation after landing several freelance jobs. Finally, I'm moving closer to my goals. So of course I should get sick and stop them from happening! Luckily I knew what was going on. I'm really grateful that you don't suggest that this is something that goes away over night but rather encourage people to cultivate awareness. That's all you can really do.

MUST BE WONDERFUL TO HAVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL BELONGINGS. MY LOVE OF BEAUTIFUL THINGS LANDED ME NEXT TO LOW-INCOME PEOPLE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO TAKE/BE BLESSED BY EVERYTHING I COLLECTED OVER MANY YEARS. HOLD ON TO YOUR JOY AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL THINGS! THANKS FOR YOR ENCOURAGING POSTS!

I think I self-sabotage socially. As soon as someone seems likes me I hide and try to make sure I don't meet that person again out of fear of disappointing them.

Marie, you've just given me the 1st explanation I ever heard in 30 yrs as to why my marriage imploded even though I was the perfect wife. 2 yrs into my happy marriage, my inlaws ran into marital trouble -- this triggered in my husband the subconscious need to blame me and sabotage our own marriage: he began to physically and verbally abuse me, which led me to despise and fear him, which made him even more violent. after years of subsequent misery and his adultery we finally divorced. single parenthood has been a huge struggle, esp since i was out of the workforce as a stay home mom for yrs before the divorce. you have clarified for me why I have continued to struggle: my bad marriage subconsciously taught me: "even if you do everything right, if you're perfect in every way, bad crap will still happen to you, so why even bother to do anything well?. This explains my lack of motivation, self doubt and my self sabotage whenever things are starting to look up

Your Q&As are always so on point and current in my life. Today I totally self sabotaged myself! So much amazing progress is happening with my business that I literally let anything I could find bother me to the point where I began to question everything I was doing in my whole life! I spiraled and was so confused as to how I got there - this 'upper limit' theory is explains SO much and I am so glad I am learning this RIGHT NOW.

I just realized that I sabotage myself and have been for YEARS. JUST yesterday I was at my uncle's house and I opened up his drawer in the living room and low and behold a book about self sabotage was in there. I read the first page in chapter 1 and felt like I had just read my diary! My life story was in that first page! I wanted to cry...partly because I was starting to realize that I was really emotionally wounded and the other part wanted to cry because my prayers had been answered; I could finally give this "thing that I often do" a name: self-sabotage. Me always thinking that it was others sabotaging me..but nope..it....was....I. But I'm relieved that I now know what it is so I can up root this once and for all.

Awesome question Tamara & thanks for choosing it Marie! It came at just at the right time :) Sometimes its just nice and comforting to know you aren't alone in the battle. HUGE bonus points for mentioning Sweden, Im in Stockholm now it's my home away from home, you must visit for midsummer one year!!! ~

Yes, and I think a lot of people feel guilty when they have too many good things happen - that they don't deserve it or they're afraid for the other shoe to drop and have everything taken away.

ooooooh.... oy. I think I just understood something that's been happening to me the past several months... sigh. But thank you, thank you!!!

This is a big issue for me. I work as a social media manager for musicians & artists (solopreneur) and I work on average at least 8 hours a day on the computer. I have a bad back so this is hard on my body but I love what I do. Every time I just seem to get to the point where I have enough clients and am making the money I want to make, I have a major muscle spasm attack in my lower back and then I can't work for almost a week. I love what I do and I don't want to let my clients down. I'm trying to build my business but can't seem to overcome nerve pain and muscle spasms for long enough to do it. I don't know how much of this is self-sabotage but if any of it is, I certainly want it to stop! Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Marie. x

Yup, huge breakthroughs in my life & biz right now and experiencing unexpected GI issues. Taking extra care of myself.

First of all, GIRL I NEED THAT DRESSSSSS! Second of all, great advice. Your show is catchy, informative and I'm a new fan!

This video comes at a perfect time for me. I'm releasing an ebook this Monday and I didn't think I was stressed out until I picked a fight with my husband for no good reason this week. I'll have to clean up that mess or I'll have him betting against my success in the future. Good to have awareness now and maybe learn to take it out on my spin bike instead...

Excellent, thanks for this Marie. I have experienced this in so many areas. When things are too good I try not to indulge too much as I am afraid it won't last. so I step away from it as not to be disappointed when it comes to an end. I'd say its sort of a self protection mode.

Thank you so much. This really explains why I've been start/stop/run/start again with my new business. I thought it was just me! So much relief that there's actually other people suffering the same problems. Will be working on staying calm and moving on instead of getting up and walking away. Thank you xx

It helps me to surround myself with people who are consistently accomplishing their goals. Keeps me from getting overwhelmed and I see how to handle my successes appropriately instead of running and hiding.

I think you just saved my life... professionally speaking that is. I have been "talking" about starting a blog, getting my coaching business up and running for a few years now and every time I make the effort to start, BAM! I get injured or sick and I haven't even started yet. This is a great pre-warning for when the real success starts and a fabulous insight to pay attention to and assurance to just get started! "My fear is not that I am inadequate, my fear is that I am powerful beyond measure. Who am I not to share my light." (Marianne Williamson) Thanks for always providing just what I need Miss Forleo.

My upper limit is SO LOW that it is crazy. Every time I am doing well at an interview for a job that I think seems good, I say something stupid. It is almost like it is subconsciously done. I told the interviewer today that I have been looking for other career opportunities as well and I am actually not that sure about my career path. But if it is an average job or if I don't want that job as much, I would not make those mistakes. People are nervous at interviews, and afraid of tough questions. I am just afraid of myself.

Marie, I live in sweden! In the summer we have almost 24h daylight which is soooo amazing! You should come here! :) We can go and get some sweet waffles on the top of the mountine and whach sun that never leaves the sky! You are far more than welcome! It would be MY pleasure! :) As always, thank You Marie for such amazing message!! :)

Thank you for sharing. I sabotaged myself about 6 years started a business. That saying hing-sight's 20/20. At the time, I didn't realize this was happening, but later I realized I was feeling almost suffocated and fearful of the success I was having. I wasn't in a place I could handle it. I learned a lot going through that and realizing that people have so many fears of failures (which of I did too), but I hadn't realized you could be afraid of success too. It was very eye-opening to me and even some of those around me. I haven't heard of the "upper-limit problem", but essentially the same idea. Thanks for describing it so spot-on! Love your channel! Have a fabulous day!

Aaah Marie Forleo. You are amazing. I'm watching your videos. I'm learning with Marie ForleoTV. I have a dream: embrace Marie Forleo and say: wow? Marie Forleo is not a fairy tale. She is real. I read your book several times. I believe that all men should read their books. You are a blessed woman. Love you Marie. With love, his fan! Brazilian National Flag. Xo

LOVE IT. This book was one of the most moving I've read. The fact that you are I to it, is even more reason to subscribe.

I know for sure that this has happened to me, but never understood what it was or why i felt so off sometimes. this was a huge eye opener, thanks marie!

I´m Swedish, Hej! :D We have alot of sun here in the north, but only in the spring and summer. It´s lovely, it´s what we live for!

MARIE your words bring calmness to my mornings! keep doing you girl!!:)

This is totally a problem I have. I definitely haven’t solved it yet, but I just started saying YES to things that my mind goes “mmm no I’m not qualified” before I allow myself to say that when they approach.

I was not going to watch this but this was the answer to my problem. Thank you. I had no idea about a upper limit problem.

Hi Marie, I love how you share your personal experiences and also the "Upper Limit" reference. So many people self-sabotage their life and they do not even realize what they are doing. Thanks for another useful video!!! Cheers!!! GGG

I have this problem. And I don't know how to control, deal with it. I can't take success. If I do something good i feel that every bodys eyes are on me. And I get a fear and wanna hide. I just want to be avarge. I wanna go in to my same old position. If my teachers show me attention in class for a good reason. I feel out of breathe. I don't want that. That makes me anxious. I want to be a nobody. As I continue to be an average person.... My teachers stop showing attention. Because when they call me for a thing I can't do it. Maybe doing a math on the board, I know how to do the math. But I'm too scared to do that infront of these many students. Suddenly I feel completely blank. And I hated it every time it happened. . . They dont expect anything from me now. . But I feel bad. Why am I like this. I dont wanna be this person. I'm more than that.

I think I needed to hear this.. I wondered why I was sort of afraid of success.. I think I can really look forward to success in my business and life with this insight I learned today. Thank you for the post! I'm learning that I DO have that special something that only I have and I'm excited now to share it with others!

I'm not sure that I've managed to conquer self-sabotage. When things are about to be next-level great, I tend to procrastinate. It's like I'm delaying the 'amazingness' if you will. I know I've sold myself short as a result. Thankfully there haven't been bad consequences, but the results always lead to me working at half my potential and being ordinary when there's so much more to me. Thank you for the advice Marie! I'll work on being more aware and moving away from bad tendencies that keep me stuck in my comfort zone.

Not sure i self sabotage myself (for that reason at least), but I DO know this feeling of "oh man everything is moving a little too fast" - especially when I have to make a number of biggish decisions about where to put my energy/attention/money next in my jewellery business. Usually I stall - my employees hate when I do that and try to push me into making the decision. Some times I then just decide SOMEthing often to later realize, that that wasn’t the best way to go. Stalling has turned out to be a good thing (if I don’t do it for too long): When putting the next decision into the back of my head and then carry on my life, my subconscious is doing the work for me. Eventually, when the time is right, I make it. The decision. And then it’s the right one.

You always post just the right thing at just the right time

Good video! “If you think of something, do it. Plenty of people often think, “I’d like to do this, or that.” ― Lydia Davis

Marie, thank you so much for sharing this. I've been self sabotaging so much lately. If someone messes up at work, I take the blame! I literally hold up my hand and say it's my fault. I had a less than positive experience in 2014, this has affected me. But I also ended my relationship last year (again after watching your video about having different life goals than your partner, I did the guilt free gut check, and realised I had to do the right thing, so bye bye ex) I wanted him to follow his dreams, settle with a girl who will give him what he wants. After this I followed a healthy eating plan, I go to the gym, I'm slowly working towards starting my own babysitting agency. I feel happy. I won't go into what happened to him, but I will say he is no longer with the girl he met a few months after I broke up with him. I'm happy being single, but the guilt I feel about that is mindblowing, especially now he is back in touch. It's like I have to punish myself for this, like I deserved the bad experience I had in 2014 because I caused him pain, because in my heart I don't want to go back, I deserve more pain. I deserve crap, hence the blame taking. Sorry for the long message here, but watching this gave me that moment, that moment when something clicks. Thank you xx

I enjoyed this video and I do hope one day when I actually begin feeling successful in my business I realize sooner then later I myself can go beyond the happy goal fulfilled limits I have set for myself and work through it

I remind myself every day that I am awesome and capable either by remembering the wonderful parts of my life or reminding myself that I have done a leap before and I can do one again. Get good grades, move forward in work, take on a new project. I've done something hard before and succeeded so I can do something hard and succeed again. Just put my mind to it and make it happen.

Thank you for this video, I have been a chronic self sabotager, but I am turning over a new leaf!

So happy for you (and us who get to benefit from your life 😊) that you have exploded through your upper limits!

Wow...I had never knew there was actually a term for this! So glad I watched!

I try and look at self-sabotaging really as self-protection and I touched on this in one of my recent vids but I loved your take on it!

YES. There is nothing as unbearable as a couple of good days. (Watzlawick, 70ies)

This is so insightful thank you. I know there is more but often self sabotage as a way to contain what I don't think I deserve. But staying small serves no-one and limits my potential. Thanks so much. Never easy but so worth it. Anna

Thanks, Marie. This really resonated 🤯 in work but very much in relationships too. Never heard of this term before, awareness is the first step!!🌈🦸🏻‍♀️

I do love when you recommend some books. I will read this one, too.

Love this video so much. Thanks! This explains why I have not been on my A game lately.

Oh my gosh, humans are crazy! Physically fighting our own happiness?! I've been dealing with this so much ever since I started my business and had no idea what it was! Thank you, Marie :) I thought I was going crazy!

Seems like my upper limit is ridiculously low.. whenever I start working on something I love, I get to stay motivated for two days, after that I loose all energy and I can't even get out of the bed. I've been like this for almost a week now. I don't know how to handle this anymore.

Thanks Marie

I can't undersatand how I have never skiped Marie's 40 seconds intos. May be it's just imposible.

Hello! Came across this now in 2020, can you talk about this more maybe? I think this is so interesting and important and I it doesn't get mentioned that much in selfhelp etc. Def worth more conversations! Thank you for all the great content!!

Marie, I want you to know that your videos have helped me out a lot, even though I'm not a business person and I'm not even taking my work life or professional life seriously right now. Please keep the great videos coming, especially ones related to mindset. :)

At some point I stopped enjoying this channel due to personal brain negativity but am back babe!

WoW! This REALLY resonates with me at this moment in my life. Time to take care of ME! Thanks for sharing your knowledge and thoughts!

Outstanding, really valuable observations and potential solutions, thank you.

Nope, I don't have this problem yet! I'm still at the stage where my work tends to either go well(yay!) or sabotage itself. :) Dually noted though.

This is so helpful and true!!!

Wow, I always thought I was the only one who experienced this. Thanks for the video, Marie!

thanks so much Marie !

Marie...you are AWESOME! Thanks for all of the great videos! :) Take Care -Rob

This is a great video, Marie. It's definitely something lots of people struggle with, but also something people just need to hear. I think this is a fallacy that most people buy into...they think money and career success will solve all problems, but they both can come with different or further problems. I also love the idea of a limit for feeling good. Have you read about Freud's pleasure-principle? It's related to this! We limit our highs so the lows don't seem so low.

Thanks for this message. Hit the nail on the head with this Marie

thanks, added to favorites

you cover the best subjects!!!!!!!

Okay I found the formula: Cute funny comment. Opening scene. Intro to topic. Content: serious voice clear speech. Closing request to subscribe. "There's only one you" comment. Juvenile outtake. End. Always good wothwhile content but in tired, staid packaging. No disrespect intended. You're a blessing to us out here, but you yourself would be upset if someone had constructive criticism and kept quiet. Thankyou Floreo.

thankyou so much this has been extremely useful !

I absolutely loved this!! :)

And you hair looks amazing btw!

Thanks! Great tip today.

I absolutely LOVE you messages and this topic is so great to hear right now, thank you for creating this. You're work is helping me do my work which I would love to share with you by sending you a letter someday too!! Xoxo

I LOVE EVERYTHING MARIEEEE TV

I live for these 🙌

Thank you Mam. It was very helpful. Just know felt i had been doing this all the time.

Hi Mari, thanks for one more great video! Could recognize myself in that. Regarding the Finnish summer...I´m one of those lucky people from Finland who´ve experienced swimming in a serene lake in the midnight sun...it´s really amazing :-)

Dear Mary thank you very very much for your insight: it's very useful and I'm going to use right from this moment :)

Wow this is gold

Its really helpful , Thank you :)

GREAT TOPIC.

I noticed you follow successful people and I have a tip. You should check out Paul O' Brien and his book "Great decisions, Perfect timing" . I want to get the book myself. Its all about success from my understanding.

This is my first time coming across your channel, loomijg forward to watching your videos 😊

This was very helpful. Thank you.

Hi, Marie! I'm looking forward to see your video. Why did you stop to add subtitle? It's important for me to understand your message. I hope adding next time, Thank you!

Your outfit 😻

Brilliant!

Awesome video.

So good! I needed this! Thank you!

Very helpful. Thank you!

Love you Marie!!! xo xo ^^