I find it so sad when we as women feel impressed when guys don’t pressure for sex. Like that should be the absolute minimum that a man isn’t a creepy, coercive asshole. The bar is in hell. Like, I relate Sarah- not trying to judge- because I’ve been there, but it makes me so sad that we feel the need to give props to men who are literally doing the bare minimum of basic human decency. Like, it’s my body, I don’t owe you shit no matter what.
the unexplainable urge to apologize to a situationship after getting emotional in front of them is PAINFULLY relatable.....we feel that urge because these men (intentionally or unintentionally) leave us in this weird limbo where they emotionally attach us but don't allow us the space to openly acknowledge those emotions, then we feel bad for feeling them at all and then put them on a pedestal for doing the bare minimum when we try to express how we're feeling lol
I feel like he sister zoned you because he didn’t get laid. He was playing the “no pressure” thing to impress you enough to give in. I also think he wanted you to send him money when he said he didn’t have money to visit. You dodged a bullet.
If dating has taught me anything, it's that guys are pretty aggravated and frustrated by girls trying to play therapist and "teach them how to feel and communicate. We should consider adapting to others rather than trying to change them- a flexible approach is best with co-workers, neighbors, room mates, etc.
i swear situationships are always a thousand times harder to get over. more than actual relationships. you get hung up on the “what could have been” bc you never got close enough to the person to see all their flaws. you only remember them as the good when things died out in the honeymoon phase. that’s why it’s so hard to detach 😭
i swear once you actually start dating them and you learn all of their flaws you realize it was just a facade you were in love with and it’s much easier to get over! but when you never got to that point you don’t know it exists and then don’t wanna let go 😭 when in reality if it would’ve gone on a few more months you probably would have gotten the ick 😂
Is there a Sarah Baska discord or something? I would love to make connections with people in this community. Everyone seems so kind, and on the same wave of healing and growing =-)
He was 100000% calling you a sister to deflect his actual feelings for you, and to buy more time where he could ignore you and those feelings so that you wouldn’t catch onto his inconsistencies!
don't you think he just lost feelings for her? i say this as a woman who's had really close male friendships where i could've seen a relationship or flirtatious friendship with them, until i found myself not wanting to lead them on anymore/ lost feelings for them. i feel the disrespect sarah went through with this guy. especially with the ghosting, that's immature. but to say he had "actual" feelings for her is just trying to romanticize something that's probably not that deep
From a man’s perspective. I think he actually liked her, but said he sees her as a sister to get a reaction. He said that to gauge her reaction, if she was mad about it, he finally knows she likes her, but if she doesn’t get upset by it then he knows she doesn’t like him. ORRRR he just said that when he realized she wasn’t gonna let him hit. This is sum shi I would do tbh, city boys up.
The way him telling you “I don’t have money to visit” and figuring it out like.. he didn’t even need to tell you he was probably hoping you’d say oh let me send you money for gas real quick. My mom tells me if a man wants to he will..the lengths men will go to..to get to a girl he likes or be near them is actually insane so if he wanted to he would.
Exactly he would have donated his plasma without saying anything. She would have never known that he didn’t have gas money. He was 100% expecting her to offer to pay
What do you mean if he wanted to he would???? He did 😭 maybe he could have been fishing for money but only cause he really wanted to see her. Didnt he prove that by finding a way?
... I'm 48. It doesn't change. The best you can hope for is boredom by a grown man who is fully capable, useful and predictable. The worst a manchild you're constantly cleaning up after and doing everything for.
I feel like we’re on FaceTime together gossiping. 😂 As soon as you said “sister” I said out loud “oh hell no” I love these videos, thank you for taking the time to share your story!
You were not dating or in a relationship just because u kissed or he stayed over. The man should initiate the relationship. You asking what was up is you pursuing him. Your very pretty but you curse alot & your not very feminine. Men like a bit of mystery. Work on your attraction skills, girl!! Check out Greta Beresaite & feminine relationship coaches and hone in on your come hither 'vibes'.
I disagree. He was just a friend even if they made out. You don't wear your heart on your sleeve & tell him how u feel or ask whats up. Thats chasing. It's unfeminine and degrading. If he doesn't ask to be exclusive. Ask to be in a relationship..then you have your answer.
bro sarah is wayyy too nice because this guy is giving me a lot of red flags and she's just making excuses for them. she's so compassionate 😭. to me it sounds like he was just hitting her up when he was bored. sorta like a backup plan. i'm so done with guys who "have a lot of shit going on", "don't know what they want", "aren't ready for anything serious", "can't communicate their feelings". shut up. a guy KNOWS when he likes you. if a guy likes you he will put in the effort. him not communicating his feelings is communication by itself, y'know what I mean? stop making excuses for these guys. and the sister excuse was soooo manipulative, it's really pissing me off. i don't think you should regret being vulnerable and expressing your feelings because it's the mature thing to do but don't entertain this bullshit. let it be a learning lesson.
perioddd i’ve been on the opposite side where i was the one who was “too busy/not communicating” and i can say it was def bc i wasn’t actually down for the guys i was talking to
@@mardreambaby2652 exactly. it's the easiest excuse to make and a lot of the times you'll see the people who "weren't ready for a relationship" get into a relationship shortly after that 🙄.
Girl never take him serious, he's the type to string you along by bread crumbing and trying to come back to f*ck whenever: when you set boundries and told him no messing around as friends, the respond he gave said a lot about his intentions. He doesn't want to wife you, but still make you cook for him.
First of all, love your username. And second, YOU ARE SO RIGHT. This guy is gonna do years of casually trying to get with her (especially if he's feeling low) while not taking any responsibilities for her feelings.
@@rosheenadaniels I think we have to wait and see how things play out when they get together in the future. Especially after inserting boundaries, that will tell all. And I still feel like if he really respected her boundary and considered her feelings, he would’ve understood that no touching is the basic of a friendship especially when you’ve figured out you just want to be friends. He displayed that he was saddened about that boundary while I felt like it’s common sense after calling her a sister/good friend? Otherwise he has to be upfront and ask her for fwb so she won’t get hurt in the process as she was already very confused by his behaviour.. but yeah that’s my perspective and I respect yours! Agree to disagree.
The whole "sister zoning" thing is unfortunately real and is basically the emotionally immature version of we had a connection but since you pointed that out now i can't handle that so I'm not down anymore. They like the pseudo partner/dating experience but don't want to actually commit.
What I learned in my 20s is that situationships teach men that they can do the bare minimum and still have access to you. I had one and never again lol
give yourself the praise sarah, he didn’t teach you shit. you decided to turn this situationship into a learning experience and also gracefully and compassionately treaded the dude. he should thank you
this video made me realize i’ve been settling for the BARE MINIMUM in my 2 yr relationship… and that i do deserve someone who is emotionally available and doesn’t play mind games with me all the time. so thank you
Yessss love You deserve smmm better. Some one out there will give more than just the bare minimum and more. When you love someone and you want it to work, that’s a hard pill to swallow.
I IMMEDIATELY thought that he saw how much fun you were having at the Usher concert and was a little salty that he wasn’t there, so he reached out and sent that text to make himself feel better 🤷🏻♀️ maybe I’ve been in too many of these situations lmao
You showed him time and time again you would be okay with, and available to him whenever it was convenient for him. So he took advantage of that standard as being your guys’ relationship. You being honest and straightforward will always scare away the wrong people, because their game requires things to be vague and unsaid. In my opinion, he’s not even worth being friends with. He put you through confusion, anxiety, mental gymnastics, all for you to change yourself/thoughts to find a way to fit into his messiness. Regardless of what he’s going through, regardless of how cool and good hearted I’m sure he truly is, the actions speak louder. Having empathy is beautiful, but you must show it to yourself as well. I think you’re healthier and more deserving than to associate yourself with such a person. I apologize if I came across in a harsher tone. A part of me is speaking out of my own past hurts. That being said, I’m glad you were able to gain much insight from this experience. It can be really difficult to manage these things. Wish you the best!
My gut reaction is, he wasn’t getting “it” from you and got tired of waiting. You dodged a bullet. I know you say you respect him for texting you at all but girrrlll that’s the bare fucking minimum! You deserve way better. You ARE so dope! ❤
This video will help thousands of young women, I'm convinced. 🤣 As someone in my mid-thirties I cannot tell you how many times I kept going back to situations like this, took me a long time to realize what a situationship is and learn how to respect myself more and I am impressed with how you handled the situation.
For a somewhat big youtuber you got to respect how Sarah bares her soul and doesnt leave out the embarrassing details like a lot of people do. Being ghosted like that in my 20s would have really messed with me and I definitely wouldnt share it with thousands of strangers but Im glad she did because it just shows these things happen to the best of us.
i know i’m not the only one that got major deja vu when sarah started talking about them making out at the festival😂 i 100% remember you telling us a little about this before
men are so weird and i find it so comforting to watch sarah's video's because it means i'm not alone in these weird ass situations with men lmao love you sarah
girl this video was a godsend--i NEEDED to hear some girl talk lololol literally nodding along and raising my eyebrows to this story lmaooo cause this shit is so relatable, love listening to you and the self growth
girl i literally sat here eating tomato soup just reacting to every emotion you went through like you were talking to me in person lmao i feel so seen rn
Bro if someone that I liked told me that they like me as a sister, I would never want to talk to a single person who I was remotely attracted to. that's situationship trauma right there
You didn’t misread the connection. A guy has sister zoned me as well when I thought we really had a connection. It’s bc they are scared to connect with someone, so they clearly felt it too. Definitely an avoidant attachment style!! They are horrible to date anyway!
@@rosheenadaniels just from what Sarah said I do think he actually likes Sarah a LOT and it scared him so he ran. He probably never felt that way before (he’s young). He was willing to sell plasma and drive 5 hours to see her. This is why it’s way more common for guys to have the girl that got away than it is for girls. Sarah was willing to tell him how she felt.
@@rosheenadaniels he also wanted to keep the door open to hook up and Sarah said no. That’s very common for avoidant attachment styles to always leave the door open like that
@@magnolia6968 the fact that you recognize it is very self aware and the first step. Therapy will be very helpful as well. People don’t become avoidant for no reason. It’s usually trauma from childhood that is unresolved. And that isn’t your fault! But there does come a time when we have to realize how our actions can hurt others. There is a really good channel I saw recently called Heidi Priebe who makes videos on how to overcome it on your own if therapy isn’t an option. It’s hard work but possible!
I'm much older than all you girls, and I've dated for many years. I've had kids. I have a daughter your age, and I'd tell her the same thing. I've been in several 8 year relationships. I've been engaged (I ended it), been proposed to 3 times. I've had a handful of year long relationships. I have experience and I get the guys I want, for better or for worse... So here goes... Tell guys bluntly and up front exactly what you want from the relationship. I can see exactly where Sarah went wrong. She should have told him she was into him in January, not August. Don't be the chill girl, don't be the challenge, don't act like you're okay with a casual relationship if you want an actual connection. Don't act like you aren't going to pressure them if you want them to be your boyfriend. They will not come around. They take you at face value. Even if you want to wait to have sex, make sure they know you're interested in them and that you want to, but that you just want to wait a bit longer. Don't act like you want to be friends with benefits if you want marriage. Never be afraid to scare guys off in the beginning. SCARE THEM OFF instead of letting yourself fall in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable. The ones who stay are the only ones worth your time. I'm serious. If you want to get married and have kids, tell them on the first date. I have friends who played games and didn't end up married until their late 30's when you're almost not able to have them. You're only playing yourself. We are more emotional. Take care of yourself.
I agree with all of this! I don’t understand why people say “don’t talk about marriage or kids on the first date”… Definitely talk about marriage and kids on the first date. If your goals don’t align then don’t waste your time
i literally never commented on a RU-vid video ever in my life before. But tomorrow is my 22. birthday and I want to start putting myself out more, because I deserve to be heard and I just want to share my love for you! I had a really stressful week full of mental breakdowns, and you just made my night! You're my favorite RU-vidr ever and I literally watched every single video of you through the years. Even though you don't know me at all, I wanna thank you for existing and putting yourself out there.Your videos can always make me laugh and you inspire me to be my true self, love you
girl sameee I started commenting on youtube and other platforms this past year and it definitely is a start in the right direction! I hope the rest of your week goes well!
Girlllll. You are worth SO MUCH MORE than a situationship! Don't let people play w your mind like that. It's just not worth it! When someone shows you their true colors, believe them! At the end of the day.... his loss! 👋 😜✌️
The amount of times you were bringing out your water bottle had me gigglin. I use my water bottle as an emotional support too and have never seen anyone else do that, all love girly. 😆💓
tbh it makes me feel better about myself to hear a shitty situationship story from you because you are literally perfect and still need to deal with these.... i do not feel so alone about these now. learning that they are the problem and not me at all.
I love how vulnerable you can be. It makes me realize that everyone goes through rejection, even the icon Sarah Baska lmaoooo. Thank you for this video I always love watching you. You radiate good vibes 💕
sarah i’ve been following you for like 10 (???) years now and we’re the same age, and i feel like i’ve literally GROWN UP WITH YOU, and we always seem to be in parallel eras in our lives
girl the way i gasped at the sister comment!!!!! i really admire how you processed his confusing bs tho ur like “i’m fantastic and ur just crazy” because i tend to react by blaming myself and my flaws that i’m insecure about. thanks for that perspective love yew 💖
I have been watching you long I don’t even remember when I started. Usually I grow out of watching content creators because they become out of touch with their audience and get caught up in being a public figure, which is why you are probably my favorite person to watch and I following along with your life. Your honesty and authenticity is so refreshing and you have such a genuine connection with your audience which feels so rare to find. This video just really hit me because I’ve been dealing with the same confusion and emotional frustration from a situationship and to hear you talk about it made me feel so comforted. I love you sis keep shining as bright as you do ☮️
I just went through a situation. First guy after my marriage separation, and it was honestly more heartbreaking than my marriage. It did open my eyes though.
dude- i’ve been in hermit mode for so long just trying to make sense of my own love life and being able to watch this while doing my makeup made me feel less alone. i grew up watching your videos and i’m so grateful you keep posting- miss ya girly ilyyyyy
i’m so shocked how we we LITERALLY had the same year as a virgo earth sign myself, i got out of a long term 6 year relationship in 2021 and in the beginning of 2022 i was also in a situation with a LEO who also donated plasma to take me out 😭😭😭 i was dying throughout the whole video because my Taurus moon related to you on the competitiveness while wanting to cry💀 anywho weirdest situationship i’ve ever been in but i think we needed to go through it for ✨character development ✨
Omg ru serious! When Sarah said that about the plasma thing I actually thought to myself 💭 “yo honestly that would be an awesome lie to tell a girl”😂 now that I heard you say it, it pretty much confirms my suspicions those mf made that shit up to sound cute! 🤦♀️😭
Oh my god… the fact that he sees you as a “friend” and says you remind him of his sister shows he is upset that you want to actually enforce the boundaries that come with the kind of relationship he keeps insisting he wants. It seems he wants to maintain access to you without having to fulfill any of your needs. He doesn’t deserve another second of your time or energy.
your story is so relatable which really fucking sucks bc why are men just universally like this. why are we as women always the ones putting in effort and reassurance and energy into connections and they just never reciprocate or show consistency . it’s the same story every damn time i swear also i love that y’all played life is strange lmfao honestly i think that was a really good idea
awww i’m only 30 minutes in and i know this probably ends not greatly but i love that you had this fun experience and got to vibe and connect with someone like that those are the best parts of life even though they don’t last. from the great story at the concert to him already having tennis rackets?!? life can be so fucking cuuute this video made me happy thanks for sharing Sarah!
I needed this me and my situationship of two years finally ended and it’s so reassuring to remember how normal these are 😭 love these storytimes n love to everyone watching xxxx
Yeah guys communication is the first and most important thing in any relationship (not only romantic ones). My ex left me all of a sudden after 2 years saying he didn't love me as much as I loved him, and in those whole 2 years he never talked once about how he felt. Choose someone you vibe with and with whom you can say everything you think.
Sarah my all time favorite RU-vidr, she is the only RU-vid from the 2015 who still stays true to yourself. I have watched you since the early days and I love these videos so much!
Sarah, I absolutely loved this video!! we would be blessed if you were to continue with this story time format whenever you have something fun and new to talk about!!
Oh he for sure had feelings for you. He never thought of you as a “sister”. He wouldn’t have made out with you otherwise. He’s just a typical man ignoring his feelings so he doesn’t have to be emotionally mature and available. Been there, done that. You deserve someone more mature enough to handle those feelings and emotions.
hey sarah, if you are ready, can you please do an update on your autoimmune disease? You posted that then i got diagnosed with the same thing months after and I wanna know how your handling it. Love, Chinara from Germany.
omg i am convinced i've never had a single unique experience in my life (minus the sister zoning, yikes) during my senior year of high school, after a messy breakup, i unfortunately got into a situationship. and yikes. that guy played me so hard but at the same time was so sweet and fun to be around. he strung me along for months until it slowly fizzled out. i was left with no closure and it really messed me UP. it sent my ass to therapy lmao
Being ghosted is brutal especially when its someone you have known for quite some time. I was ghosted by my guy bestfriend of 4 years and it was horrific to deal with
