Stranger Things & The Meaning of Life 

Hey CJ, rabbi in training here. When God answers Moses in Biblical Hebrew the phrase is "Ehyeh asher ehyeh." Which means "I am what I am," but also the verb form is fluid in its tense. It can also be "I was what I was," and "I will be what I will be." Effectively, it is all of the tenses at the same time. Thought you would enjoy this re: Time is not linear, "Happening, happened, will happen."

Having to work when CJ drops a video is a war crime

The more I watch CJ's gesticulative expressions and other body languages the more I'm convinced -- they're just a cat. That's it. I've just been listening a lot to a rapidly talking cat for the last few years.

CJ being interrupted while saying "and that makes us divine" by a Google ad so that I heard "and that makes us Google-fi" is top tier dystopian comedy.

As a physical therapist assistant who has spent a lot of time learning about human bones, I found the metacarpal joke HILARIOUS

I am a young art teacher that just entered the workforce. After feeling defeated by corporate and the education system that forces me to force-feed data to children, I really needed a reminder that "being here" is all there is and analysis of art shouldn't be in hopes of replicating the "good" but appreciating and looking for the empirical good you're already putting in your art

I think there were two reasons this scene hit me so hard: 1. As a person who did not really get to enjoy my childhood, watching her relive hers made me feel this really weird mix of emotions - mainly loss over my own childhood and secondhand nostalgia over her childhood, and 2. As someone who grew up in hellish suburbia, where you couldn't just go out on your own as a kid, you had to be driven everywhere and closely monitored by your parents, the lifestyle of the Stranger Things kids feels nostalgic, but in a different way than I imagine it would feel if I'd actually lived through the 80s.

I cannot stop appreciating the fact that after quoting that good boi citing that one book so many times, you still did the full citation yourself afterwards

Every CJ the X video gives me about 5 metaphysical panic attacks before gaining some sort of closure. Everytime I'm having trouble in life about morals or the value of art CJ uploads and by the end of it somehow, without ever knowing it, has helped me understand myself in a way I never knew to the point the problem can be solved by itself. It's like they give me the key to a locked door ive been bashing my head against for hours. They're one of my favourite creators of all time YOU, CJ, the entity reading this, have helped me and I can't thank you enough, mainly because you'll never catch me.

When CJ said “ You are still here and here is still good” I needed that! Loved the video

*Love* that The Clap comes at exactly 30:00 And the absurdity of me scrubbing back *to* that moment 4 times to verify it is not lost on me

i watch many youtube video essays while im driving, getting ready or maybe going to bed, definitely curious but not horrified if i miss a few details or get distracted. not with cj, i refuse to watch his videos until i can dedicate my time, space and unimpeachable attention to them. i rewind, rewatch, and generally soak every insight into my pores until my mind is pulsating and im sufficiently satisfied at the level of analysis ive absorbed and the ideas ive been invited to contemplate. then i show the video to other people. im glad you exist and make art cj.

I appreciate that the multiple video long ‘will CJ spill their wine’ tension finally broke at 12:55. been on the edge of my seat every time I watch a video

It's rare when you can remember RU-vid videos of a channel by their name, theyre like complete works that have a place in your mind and infinite replay value. Healthiest youtube channel fr

I almost laughed when you mentioned Patricia Taxxon because of how similar your discussion about interpreting art was to hers. Listening to her strike out against the shallow separation of meaning and the forms and feelings of art made me change the way I see art. She helped me understand poetry. The point of art is not to “get” the deeper meaning, the point of art is in no small part just to feel it and let it make you feel things. Of course there are other motivations, but this feeling is what most artists are shooting for when people engage with their art

It's been a minute, hope everything's alright. Some of the best essay content online, can't wait to see what's next

I don't know how to say this but this scene is actually the most anime thing I have seen on a western show that wasn't animated in like... forever. Like, these kind of scenes of ultra mega tension before the ultimate power up that manages to defeat the enemy is so common in shounen anime specifically that I was shocked that there wasn't more examples of it. I just kept thinking of Sailor Moon when I was a kid and how much I cried when all the Sailor Scout fucking DIED and Usagi had to keep pushing herself to keep going even though it hurt so bad, and she could only win in the end because of the support of her friends whose spirits come to remind her that they love her. Or the first time that Goku had to ask the entire world to lift their arm to give him the energy necesary to defeat a foe. Those are the kind of scenes that broke me on the similar way this one did. Anyway, Stranger Things is anime.

They have blessed us with yet another masterpiece to live in our minds rent free! How could we ever thank you, oh wise one?

Haven’t finished watching the video yet, but the metaphysical part is hitting me hard because, in simplest terms, I hallucinate pain. I experience psychosomatic pain, and it’s because my nervous system, something that’s mean to be based in logic and function, can’t differentiate me feeling sad from me feeling hurt. When I get worried, a completely mental thing, my body functionally goes, “oh shit we’re under attack, someone help!!” This has caused my view of the world to change into “mind vs matter doesn’t make sense. If my mind and my matter are always working together then that means they’re the same amount, not one over another.” My favorite thing about talking about dualities is how they will always exist at the same time, you cannot have one without the other and that is because they work together to make the world we live in, not against each other. I really appreciate this video so far :]

i love how the last thing he said to us before fucking off is "I'm in danger"

The wine sloshing out onto the floor and clothes gives me stress. CJ gives me life.

this is the first time I've actually been able to understand a cj the x video in the first 30 seconds without pausing. I think my brain chemistry has changed significantly. unsure if this is good or not

i thought "this is some of their best work" but then i remembered that every video is----i am continually surprised at every new thing this gargoyle riddler troll puts out. it's always so insightful and nuanced and lovely and makes me want to live truthfully making art and loving the people in my community.

Waiting on the new cj vid like its the second coming of christ

So happy to see this video this morning. Woke up to school cancelled and babysitting 4 kids and I watched this while making breakfast. Had a weird moment staring into CJs eyes when he says you are HERE while I was making bacon 😂

I genuinely feel like I just finished watching one of my favorite things to come from this place. If I try to list the reasons why, this would truly be its own essay. But I have never paused so many times to just sit and digest a quote just uttered so many times. I haven’t legitimately cackled, been _actually_ brought to the brink of tears over an analysis, and been led to question some held notions alllll at once like that in video essay. Holy shit what kinda gift. Like congrats to you, the research team, ‘cause holy wow. Time to talk endlessly to anyone that will listen about this video.

The point about memories being malleable, as spoken in relation to trauma, made me think of one thing in particular that can help illustrate the point. TW; mention of CSA - - - - - - - - I'm a victim of child sexual assault. One of my siblings used and abused me for years, and that compound trauma broke me. She was the closest sibling I had while simultaneously using me for years. I survived that by telling myself it wasn't her fault, she had been abused by her partner after all, and hell I wanted it. I turned it into attraction, a fetish. It's only in 2022, at the age of 26 that I could look back at what happened and see myself for what I was. A victim. It took me almost two decades to work on myself enough to be able to re-evaluate my memories and cut my abuser out of my life.

Why do I always find the most awesome RU-vidrs when they stop making vids 😭 I need sustenance please feed me the takes that make my brain vibrate good frequencies

As a Words Guy, one of the ways I always found meaning in that scene is in thinking about how the lyrics of the song are relating to the moment. Lyrical songs in a movie scene always makes me wonder "are the lyrics of this song supposed to be a voice in the scene?" Like is Kate Bush singing on behalf of Max, her friends, the goo monster, the audience? Did someone pick it just because it sound nice? Certain lyrics jump out the constant refrains of "C'mon angel, c'mon darling" could be either her friends willing her back to life via the music which is very literal to the scene or it could be giving voice to the inner yearning we all experience for her to escape and be free or maybe its her own inner voice trying to reach her beyond the wall of cold certainty she's built around herself. But it could be goo monster luring her toward nothingness, which has a kind of chilling allure when you are in unhealthy mental states. Other lyrics that jump way out at me in terms of what's happening are "Let me steal this moment from you now". This is actually kind of a terrifying line in terms of my uncertainty of who Kate Bush is singing on behalf of in the scene. If it's Max, that line could be foreshadowing her imminent surprise reversal against a foe who up to this point in the series has basically only ever succeeded in brutally murdering whoever he goes after, no matter how much we like them. But if it is somehow that Kate Bush is singing on behalf of goo monster, it has a very sinister implication indeed. Is he not stealing the moment from her in this scene? And all others to come? It's actually not until the high five that I become certain who Kate Bush sings on behalf of as the high five lines up with the lyric "Let's exchange the experience". And then it becomes clear to me that this is indeed Max's song through and through. She's choosing to exchange the experience with her friends. That connection with other people in that moment of realization comes together with all the other bits to give her the strength to rip herself free. After this point the obvious parallels of hitting the chorus of "Running up that hill" and her painfully sprinting back to reality and connection and love probably don't need explaining by anyone, but there it is for completeness' sake. Some of this comes from the fact that like you CJ, the first time I saw this scene it wasn't in context of the season. Free of context, I don't know that this is Max's favorite song she's been using like a talisman against her trauma over being present at her brother's brutal murder. I don't know why the boys are scrambling to get the headphones on, clearly sure it'll work. I trust they're right. They've been right before, why not now? But I'm uncertain of the particulars and that breeds doubt. I think the fact that you go from uncertainty to clarity with context or without is part of the power there, something about that feels significant. Ok, I'm really rambling. Sorry. Hopefully it's good for engagement if nothing else.

I genuinely got so excited when CJ began talking about Patricia and her video on DHMIS, like that was so unexpected but cool

I didn’t cry when watching that Stranger Things scene, but I sure got close to it watching this video

nearly a year later and i'm still coming back to this work of art o7

Something I think Stranger Things is really good at is using biblical imagery. The three shots that come to mind are Joyce and Hopper hugging Will in the upside down from season 1, Max lifting up, and everyone hugging Max right after. The first and third examples remind me of the Pieta, which represents love, family, and salvation. I have no clue what Max lifting up reminds me of, but I know it's got biblical vibes.

i know critique of interpretation was a big part of this video so this is ironic-- but i GOTTA point out that the repetitive "here" dialogue in the scene also makes the trauma metaphor stronger for me. when im having a traumatic episode i need to be reminded that im still 'here' in the current moment, rather than stuck in that traumatic memory. thats what made me emotional about it personally

CJ the X videos are always an exercise in confronting things that I don't want to confront head on and unflinchingly, which I can't thank you enough for. It's very easy to get swept up in a paralysing hopelessness, and you remind me that it's okay to care intensely about art, which should intensify but never replace caring about other people

CJ gives me so much confidence in myself, just by the way he acts. I will forever love his videos for that fact.

So whenever I see a comment like this on a video I tend to think it is super corny, but ima just say what I need to say. The portion of this video where you talk about the metaphysics of it all was so reassuring to me and my own struggles. I suffer really badly from PTSD and… ironically… trauma from a couple very intense bad psychedelic experiences that left me with a lot of panic attacks and depersonalization centered around this whole “nothing is real we are in a simulation” narrative and when I do have flashbacks and episodes of panic around the subject I always have to repeat to myself that even if that’a true it wouldn’t change a thing I’m still here and I still have to live this life so why not make the best of it and just basically be fucking chill about it. And hearing you say the same thing and go even deeper into that was so fucking reassuring and really cemented that into my own narrative around the subject. Idk it was just so comforting

It's the music, Disney films always get me because of that. They have layered more music over the Kate Bush to really massage those tear ducts

You know when you try to watch the gorilla video again, but you can't not see the gorilla? Same thing with trauma. The GORILLA represents TRAUMA

This was five months ago queen... I miss you...

CJ, I just last week had one of the worst existential anxiety moments of my life where I had a total derealization episode and felt like reality was nothing but my imagination and I was going to disappear into nothingness. I cannot emphasize enough how much I needed to hear what you said.

I suspect I suffer from BPD so seeing an icon with BPD live a future, and be successful helps me keep going. I know you probably won’t see this but I’m really happy you make videos because they make me feel less alone and, like maybe I have a future to look forward to. Thanks CJ : )

I absolutely love how CJ uses their faith to drive home a point and always highlights how God is good. Thank you CJ x

whenever i have an existential crisis i come here and watch your videos, seeing how articulate you are despite the subtext of chaos helps me think it's okay to be passionate about topics i care about in the way i want to while still effectively communicating to others

You’re videos are like metaphysical journeys. I tried listening to one while working out and I had to stop because my mind was so engaged that I was losing tracks of reps and who I was

I'm absolutely cackling at "I'm going to start with an easy one: what is art and can you prove it?" lmao

I knew about the things you mentioned, the concepts about trauma but if I’m being honest I taught myself a lot of book knowledge to feel above it all, as if knowing about trauma without applying the knowledge to myself had any right to be called a process. Your essay broke down a hard barrier in that regard and now I am forced to look at myself in ways I had been avoiding like hell. Seriously, thank you for making me realize how much I was bullshitting myself. I have no idea how you do it, I am in awe, will return when I have better words to appreciate your art

thank you. i am happy that i was here. I feel ok that i am here. tears were shed. means a lot

Humans discussing dialectics feels like we’re cartographers. Like by understanding all the farthest edges of a spectrum we have a clearer visual of the entire map and what lies in the center. Really thoughtful video, got me thinking about some important stuff in my life, thanks for this CJ!

Legit one of the most talented video essayists out here. Just started feeling like these videos need a second viewing to catch everything. Never felt that way about a RU-vidr before

I like how CJ can make an hour long video essay on one scene from a series.

The clap point/moment really got me. As someone who’s mind is never not thinking (probably ADHD), just by the nature of how much there is to think about I inevitably come back to existential bollocks pretty often, and so I often think about the nature of time and the present. It hits me again and again that the one completely unavoidable fact of life is time: we humans and the way we exist are completely and totally defined by time and there is nothing you can ever do to change that. Sometimes that scares me and makes me kind of wish that another way of living could be possible, but other times I just feel it is what it is and it’s something I’ve just got to live with. I think a source of a lot of the sadness I feel on a day to day basis is not the result of anything controllable or avoidable (and this could lead to a point about whether madness is a societal construct or not…) but simply that every moment that passes we lose the moment that’s just been. Our lives are a continuous build up of loss, and as we get older grief for the past grows bigger simply because the past grows bigger. Idk, I guess if you think that the future is infinite (which is a scientific and philosophical problem I can’t even pretend to understand) then you wouldn’t feel this so strongly, but to me time has always felt unbalanced, like the past is always growing and the future is always shrinking and it just makes me feel scared and out of control.

21:18 for the AI art rant. Such a small fraction of the vid but still important. Also, THANK YOU for articulating that the core problem is datamining and capitalism! 44:17 This is such a good way to articulate this whole mind/body relationship. I’ve dealt with mild dissociation episodes at the height of my anxiety, and I sometimes still feel that weird disconnect in dreams. But let me tell you, there’s nothing more difficult or relieving than finally physically fighting my way out of a nightmare. Wiggling my fingers and toes, trying to force my eyes awake when I’m experiencing something truly terrifying in a dream. The dream is real to my mind in that moment, but I remember that I have a physical body too. The mind is real, AND so is the body. It matters. 54:13 interesting take on the nature of analysis as a whole, how personal experiences act as lenses to color the way we view and relate to media and art. I’ve grown an affinity for certain monster love stories precisely because as a neurodivergent asexual/biromantic woman, the themes of not belonging in typical heteronormative society and operating on completely different internal rules for intimacy really resonate with me. Maybe that’s “overanalysis”, sometimes monster love is just wanting to fuck a vampire, but that’s how my personal experiences color the way I enjoy that kind of media.

CJ's videos never fail to be thoughtful in unexpected ways

It's 3am. You've made me laugh and reminded me why I'm so deeply in love with life and art. I feel like you're the extra class I'm taking in college. You've made my life better today and I am happy you seem to find joy in making these videos. I hope you keep finding this joy 💛

The gorilla thing is fun now, because it takes a lot of work to un-see the gorilla once I know to look for it. Sometimes it blinks in and out of existence if I do a half-assed job.

16:00 I always thought that she was dealing with the fact that she wanted him dead, he actually died and yet things just got worse instead of better. Before she was sad, now her mom is also sad and they're both poorer than before which increases sad. She had her wish granted and unfortunately it was a bad wish lol that's why she feels guilty.

Felt so incredibly called out by the “scrolling through pictures” bit, especially when there are so few pictures of people on my phone (mostly test rigs and serial numbers) lol. I do this with papers and reports I’be written before as well 😂

This video has got to the heart of why I have been struggling with my depressions and feel so stuck in my life, disconnected from everyone and everything around me, unable to see a future. Sure I have done tons of therepy and know all the healthy coping mechanisms but I still feel like I am not going forward in my life. Finding a narritive and meaning and cohesive story is what is missing. I thought that therepy couldnt help me any further but if I can explore this more it might actually help.

i adore your content i hope you make a comeback soon 😭🙏 or at least hope you’re doing alright

Have I ever watched Stranger Things? Nope. Am I still gonna watch this chaos? Absolutely.

CJ UPLOAD THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I swear every time I watch a CJ The X video I have to stop like 4/5 of the way through and have a personal self-actualization realization epiphany moment thing because CJ ends up proving my intuition dead wrong about some thing I thought I was dead right about and I never see it coming until it's too late. Thanks.

cj the x videos feel like having a conversation with my older brother whilst he's on lsd and going through a manic phase, only the writing in red crayon on the wall is actually coherent. please keep this up, you're doing gods work

"The ever unfolding present, that is god....that's why I call it a holy moment to sit and realize that you're here" BEAUTIFUL PERSPECTIVE, LIFECHANGING

Even more than depression from trauma, the scene felt like straight up PTSD to me. It was honestly a little difficult to watch. The way Goo man keeps appearing to Max in increasingly intense and terrifying ways, first distorting the real world and finally grabbing her in so deep that she has no way to tell what's real. The contant fear in between those encounters. No place is safe. There's no place to escape the inevitable. The counsellor at her school tries to tell her she has trauma, and should.. take it easy? She brushes it off, because of course she does. There's no relating to the idea that some self-compassion and a break from responsibilities would solve her problem when her entire reality is only constant shifting between hell and waiting for more hell. Even the song helping to "wake her up" is an almost exact parallel to grounding through whatever sense still works. My boyfriend shoves his deodorant under my nose whenever I have a flashback. A little less aesthetic and dramatic, i'll admit, but it works the same. Good scene. Didn't go back though. Hits a little too close.

this human never fails to spark hope in me. idk. just thank you cj for sharing your spirit with this scary world.

“Whatever you’ve experienced, whatever separation you feel, you’re still here. You belong here. And it’s good to be here.” I wasn’t aware that I could start sobbing during an analysis video that smash cuts into a dunk on AI for a minute and a half, but you learn something new every day.

This video legitimately just helped me figure out that the reason why I lost my artistic drive and have been staring at a blank page for the better part of the past three years is because I write for the sense of community and reaching out to friends present and future and that my falling out with a writing community I used to be a part of had severed me from having all of that and that's why writing had stopped being fun and had become anxiety inducing instead. Thanks CJ.

The clap segment really got me. I needed that, thanks.

Okay 6 more videos before Christmas got it

Come back home, the kids miss you

When you talked about gals scrolling through their phone for 30 minutes to show you meaningless pictures, I felt that. Thank you for validating my sexism, you really make the world a better place.

Every time a CJ video comes out I spend the first 10 minutes loving it and following everything, then I have to watch it again and again to really comprehend the next 10 minutes. I’m still making my way through the subjectivity in art video, and now I’ve got this one too.

i've just realized that Kung Fu Panda 2 has done a very similar thing and that's probably why i liked it so much... there was this scene where Po finds out the truth about his parents but also finds out through a similar flashback sequence that trauma that has happened to him doesn't define him.. i feel like that's some heavy stuff and it's extremely important that it's discussed in a kids movie.. i feel like these are the scenes that make us go: wow, i'm not alone

I’ve been ruminating on this for hours and still, ironically, don’t know how to express it, so I’ll say this extremely simply: this video really impacted me in a way I can’t put into words, and I want to thank you for that. It’s definitely my favorite of yours. Something about it just clicked so much. I hope your passion for art is long-lived ^-^

there always a density/richness to these videos that makes mee feel ignorant (lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about a particular thing). And that encourages me to read a little more and learn a little more. and that's actually something powerful to inspire someone to expand their perspective. one of the points of richness that hits hard every time is there's a (my perception) level of mania that is an eagerness to share + a desire to enlighten, but is also driven by "i will burst if i don't get this out" Thx CJ The X. Keeping doing, I'll keep coming back.

Just when I was starting to wonder when he’d drop another masterpiece, here he is!

when youre on a vyvanse comedown and you watch this vid it hits even harder because its like a metaphor for whats battling your mind. f or somebody on a vyvanse comedown this vid really gets to me it helps me fight my vyvanse comedown. this vid is a perfect example of the phrase "im on a vyvanse comedown"

dude, that whole "reality is one, divisions are practical but illusory, and the simplest differentiation is a dividing line, hence duality" was a PERFECT encapsulation of a point I've been mentally pawing at for good long while, THANK YOU!

CJ your metacarpal joke was not lost on my nurse brain. Speaking of, could your jokes be just a teensy bit much darker for my macabre nurse brain? Thanks honey bunches!

In the daytime i'm Marinette just a normal girl with a normal life but there's something about me that no one knows yet because I have a secret

You posted this 13 days ago and I’ve watched it four times. I showed it to my entire family and I bought that book. blessed be cj the x

Thanks for saying what you did during the section about "layer 0", as you called it. I've always been a creative person who liked to invent worlds or doodle things, and have felt insecure about my intent as an author because, for the most part, there wasn't any hidden meaning behind my creations, no metaphor for some real life event or societal struggle. It meant what I said it meant and I've been trying my best not to let anyone tell me that this can't still be meaningful.

I loved the metacarpal gag. The first of a few in this vid where I had to pause to laugh it out before carrying on.

I disagree with the idea that a lot of people think Stranger Things should've ended in season 1 because of nostalgia. I've thought that since I first watched it, which is why I hadn't watched the rest of the series until last year, but I'm around the same age as the actors/characters. I just liked it as a self-contained horror series

Its refreshing to see someone like Leo apply one books' concept(s) to so many stories philosophies, at a time where other [philosophers?] Are using so many different philosophical concepts to explain one concept. That's the sign of a good teacher.

hope you're doing good. miss hearing your thoughts. :)

When you mentioned Patricia Taxxon I audibly gasped If there was one person, before this, I wished I could have shown you it was her. Her subjective viewpoint enhanced my own experience of the media and allowed me to sympathize and view it in a way I would not have been able to imagine on my own. Hopefully this means that you have also listened to some of her albums!!

the one second of pure hysteria at 33:23 sums up my entire experience of watching any cj the x video ever

What do you mean this was posted 7 months ago ? Where did time go? And more importantly, where did CJ the X go ?

I've watched this vid through like 5 times now. Such a wonderful balance of eccentric musings and meaningful halts for drama and impact. It is so much fun to watch and to think about.

every time I wonder if CJ is still alive they drop a new video I swear

This is way more important than my 10 overdue assignments. Every video of yours is genuinely life changing.

The critical engagement with art that I enjoy feels like the moment where you clapped- it provides access to a “here” that I could not have reached alone. When historian or critic provides context for a piece of art, the “here” where I am with the work is reshaped and colored anew by what they have brought into it. When a friend plays a song they love and tells why it sticks with them, every moment I spend with that song is changed because they are “here” in my experience. My own memories and personal shifts in experience can make reading something again startlingly new. Changing what “here” is matters not because I am closer to some truth, a platonic ideal experience or a most reasonable place where I am seeing the art untouched by perspective; I am just somewhere new and ever-changing. I think this is the value of seeking perspectives different from my own- other people are “here” in ways I could never imagine alone, and even a hint of what their perceptual world looks like blooms in my own magnificently.

i miss your videos where did you go :(

This was nothing short of incredible

Wake up babe, existential he/they is discussing even Stranger things

It took this video for me to understand why that scene with Max hit so hard. Cause music was a literal life line for me during the worse years of my depression as a teenager. Came for the read on the show, stayed for the positive “Last of us” review

WHERE ARE YOU ITS BEEN 5 MONTHWS