Struggling with Sexual Sin | Fr. Gregory Pine, O.P. 

This is all good brother. Remember, however, that it is grace that preserves you! Whenever we think it comes from our efforts/discipline alone, we could lose those graces that come from the mercy of God due to pride. Praying for you! Congratulations on your victories! Thanks be to God.

@Nicodermus4Life thanks for the reminder, brother. Pride is something that we all must work on. Peace be with you.

💯 😢

I have managed to stay clean for about a year now. What helps me is to remember that when I engaged in that sin, I was literally doing it right in front of Jesus, as if telling him directly "I care about this more than I care about you, more than I care about spending eternity with you in heaven. I love this more than I love you. This is evil and it hurts people, and it hurts your feelings, and I am going to do it anyway." I still have an anguished desire, at times, to relapse into this sin. It's a suffering that I offer to Jesus as penance for all the times I did it brazenly with no contrition. Also praying the rosary and learning about having our blessed mother Mary as a part of my life has had a hugely positive effect. I also try to think that, logically, there are many other things that feel really good, that I stay away from because I know they are bad. For example, I know intellectually that heroin feels really good, but I don't do it because I know intellectually how bad for me it is. Porn is just as bad, or worse, for your spirit. Now I've never done heroin so I don't face the challenge of "getting clean", whereas with sexual sin I feel like I need to be in alcoholics anonymous, but it's a challenge worth facing, I promise.

You can overcome this with God’s help. Don’t give up.

Me too. You’re not alone. 🙏🙏🙏

You're not alone, but the sin is not as powerful as our Lord. Let's give it over To Him and let the Holy Spirit heal us. Praying for you! Please pray for me.

@WestCoastByzantine it's not superstition that holy water is used to drive evil away.

@WestCoastByzantineI’m not sure what you mean exactly. By the grace of God, I’ve been able to avoid committing this sin again. Through the use of blessed water, I do believe that a source of temptation and evil was removed from me. Of course, this blessing comes from God.

I’ll be brief. What if you are in IT and need to travel for work. I feel pretty screwed there. Smartphones are mandatory and 2FA made it worse.

Your comment was very helpful for me right now! Thank you very much!🙏✝️😊 Greetings from NorthGermany

W comment

Thank you 🙂 i needed that

I'll pray for you

@@OG-SuperHero thanks 🙏

Just say it when you go to confession. It’s a normal sin nowadays. Porn is as you know prevalent. I saw my first porn back around in the early 90’s late 80’s as a super young kid. Then you’d have to go and hunt it down. Now it is everywhere so I get the struggle. Pray daily and go confess

Go to the Sacrament of Confession. You can go behind a screen so that they won’t see your face.

You talk about how you're scared TO confess it... But tell me this: How scared are you NOT TO confess it??

Brother! I used to be where you were. The problem is not the pornography at all. The problem isn’t p0rn, but it’s the fact that you even have the energy to watch it. It’s a tail indicator that you’re not giving your all to your mission in life. I dare to say(and I’m not trying to speak in place of God) that God is trying to communicate that if you don’t give your all to him then he’s going to give you over to the devil. Just my two cents on the matter brother as I used to be in the exact same scenario as you and I know how desolate it can feel at times. I wouldn’t even worry about the wife situation. You need to focus on your eternity with God, the father and the idols that we have here in the 3-D world one most likely insignificant part of our lifelong journey. And if God will for you to have a wife, he will give it to you, but you have to love him first. Looking to the doctrine of the fewness of the saved by Saint Leonard. “this doctrine will terrify you” is the video title I believe. I hope you hold your head up strong, and when you’re battle brother. 🫡 May God bless your mission! Sorry for any terrible spelling. I’m using dictation.

@@TheShifter1001 trying to figure out whether it’s his will or not has lead me to this dark point. I have prayed for years and trusted in God but now im more desperate than ever. I’ve been invited to 3 weddings this year, and I’m the oldest of 4 kids, and my 2 younger siblings are engaged. The weddings are for people YOUNGER than me, and here I am still single. I don’t see why I should keep working out anymore when I’m short at 5’8 and average looking with a square jaw and blond hair and blue eyes.

@@TheShifter1001 idk what my mission in life even is other than experiencing the same isolation and frustration every single day.

I say, as a single man & 34, to don't give up. We don't know what we don't know. If a chance to know someone comes around, how will you be presentable towards a good catholic marriage if you still struggle with sexual sin, which is something that won't go away by getting married? Also, better to escape that mortal sin & gateway for the demonic since, in my own experience, that can just rob you of your vocational progress you can have with God & your own plans as well as create a door for spiritual attacks. That latter part is the reason why I keep falling since those attacks are the worst for me & God doesn't always dave you from them so we have to make an attempt to escape whatever hell we create for ourselves in this life. We have to believe God's faithfulness wants something better for us & loose that distrust in Him because of hlHis fidelity, despite our own hurt. There's just nothing else that can replace what God offers to those who love Him. Just hang on brother.

Note first that simply getting married will not fix your addiction.

Don’t despair of God’s mercy, brother. It is infinite and everlasting. We all struggle - some have more than others in this world. Remember that we are nurturing the seed in this life, to blossom into the flower in the next. God bless - I will pray for you.

Yeah, I'm in a similar situation. One of the things that makes it particularly hard is how isolating it feels when it seems like you're the only one in your community struggling with it, and there often just isn't much guidance from the Church in this area.

Are you gay or do you just have disordered thinking regarding sex for some unknown reason? I'm not saying this from a mean place. You could be attracted to men, again for whatever reason, but to claim that as your identity when you are a Catholic first doesn't seem like a plan for success. If I was drawn to sadomasochism, I wouldn't go around self-identifying as a dom and telling myself that since the church requires me to not sexually abuse women, that I must be celibate forever. Marriage within the church is a sacrament and a vocation. Sex is a sacred act that should be respected by all and reserved for people within that sacrament. Same way there's nothing stopping any man from becoming a priest, there's nothing stopping any man from getting married. It's a decision you get to make. If you don't want to get married, for whatever reason, then you are in the same boat as every other unmarried Catholic that should abstain from sex. (Also don't get discouraged. Remember that God's mercy is infinite while we are alive. We get tired of asking for forgiveness, God doesn't get tired of forgiving us. He rejoices every time we have the courage to ask.)

@@HeyBuddays that was by far the dumbest thing I've ever read. It appears you're caught up in some sort of identity crisis not me. The whole thing about "it's your decision to be gay" is laughable, when did you choose to be straight ? Or better still when did you choose to be a total wanker lol

While I’m not gay I suffer with pornography and masturbation as well. I felt the same way as you do, that ‘I’m making the same mistake over and over again, what’s the point?’ I told my priest this at confession some time ago, and he gave me some amazing advice. Firstly, I have a family, a toddler and an infant, but I think you can relate regardless since you were a kid at one point, hopefully.. :P. The first thing he told me is that we are but kids in his eyes like my own kids. We will always make mistakes, and fight back, and argue, and slip up. Even on the same stuff. My toddler argues with me every single night about bedtime, and gets mad every time and lashes out. Even after she apologizes. That’s us with habitual sin. We are kids. God, our father, knows this and his infinite mercy is a reflection of that. No matter how much she lashes out over the same thing over and over again, I forgive her every time because she’s a child. She knows it’s wrong but she’s a kid. Now, that doesn’t make it okay, but she’ll eventually learn and stop. Just like us, she does get better for a period but then slips, and as He forgives us, I forgive her. Secondly, and most importantly, he told me that the feeling that we feel, the why bother, why would he forgive me for making the same mistake over and over again, is Satan tricking us. He wants us to be away from God, and so he plants seeds into our minds when we sin to keep us separated from His mercy. Satan revels in our sadness, our struggles, and wants us to remain apart from God. So, keep on going. Thirdly, go to confession every week or every 2 weeks, it does the soul good and it’ll help you stop the sin and it’s a good routine to have. You want to be able to take communion it helps heal those problems and helps us grow closer to Christ. Lastly, and this is just advice from me, you can’t do it by yourself. Trust me, I’ve tried, you have to ask for help from God, from Jesus, from your priest, ask for St. Augustine and our Holy Mother to intercede for you, pray daily multiple times. Do a quick Glory Be or Hail Mary when you feel the temptation. Fighting against the temptation of pornography and masturbation is a battle, it’s hard, it changes our brain chemistry and unfortunately it’s all around us. But, remember you’re not alone, tons of men and women struggle daily with it, and your priest is hearing about it all the time. It does get better. Feel free to DM me on here and I’m more than happy to help you (or anyone that reads this.) I’ll pray for you.

I've been in your shoes for years and even recently after being clean from it for a long time i fell again. It's all about letting God purge it out of us. Go through the fire. And then fill all that "emptiness" with Holy Scripture, prayer, and fasting. You can be free. Go through the fire

You are not alone. Been trying to stay clean for close to 5 years now. It can get incredibly frustrating but I know there is a way out. May God continue to guide us back to the straight and narrow path.

I would look at some of Jason evert or his wife’s books

Rachael Killackey is the founder of Magdala Ministries, a ministry for women who struggle with sexual sins/addiction. She has been featured on Pints with Aquinas twice and has published a book for women. Her work speaks deeply to me because of how open and blunt she is about women's experiences of sexuality and sexual sin. I cannot recommend Magdala enough, it has helped me continue in my own journey, even though I have been free of habitual sins (pornographic stories and masturbation) for years before I found these resources. It truly was a moment of "this is what I have been waiting/looking for" in regards to how Catholics and any Christians approach women's sexuality and sexual sin. I hope this helps!

He didn’t actually say to pray 4 rosaries a day, though he might agree with that as a good thing to do. Rather, he simply observed anecdotally that those who do pray 4 rosaries a day do not succumb to habitual sexual sin.

If that's the only thing you heard listen again.