This is the biggest reason why it's so important to have shared moral values and goals. The little things don't matter, it's the big things. I don't have to attempt to force my wife to do anything she doesn't want to because I married a woman that shared my values, respected me, and would raise my children with these shared values. There's no big things to fight about. And when your disagreements are over small things they can be resolved much easier. The very few times I've had to correct her she listens, because she knows I don't abuse my power as head of the house by being a petty tyrant. And when she corrects me I know it's not out of spite, because she only does so when she sees something truly wrong.
My Dad led the family rosary every night & expected us to follow. I’m so grateful. Praying for my husband to be the “spiritual leader” but he doesn’t sadly God is only on Sundays.
Thats so embarrassing. Get some respect girl. Imagine Having a daughter and teaching her that she need a man to lead her just because she doesnt has a dick. Thats totally sexist but well Religions are sexists and trash on general so i guess religious people are the sames.
I loved what Amber said about eye contact and physically holding hands. In an age where men are being tossed about by their impure imaginations, I think it's important to grab them out of themselves, look them in the eye saying, "I see you. Please step back into reality. I know it's hard; we'll do it together," with your body language....Whenever I think about marriage, I think of a couple of cups with water in them. When we pour ourselves into our wives, we need to be a little higher than her, but we also need to stoop down to let her pour herself into us.
I frankly feel like asking a young unmarried, or even a newly married, person about this is a bad idea. This is a question for experienced married men and women.
Experienced married person here. She honestly didn't share much here in this clip. (I did see the entire interview). It does lose some credibility when it's said by someone who hasn't been married or is not a spiritual leader with authority. She later on here spoke about parenting which is even less helpful. I think the interview was a little beyond her life experience.
Something that I find noticeable about devout Catholics is that they tend to have strong marriages built on mutual respect. Catholic countries are known for having tough matriarchs who lead their families in worship and make decisions in the home. I think it's a good thing for husbands and wives to acknowledge their equally important roles and to have respect for each other's opinions when making decisions for their families. I believe it's what sets Catholic marriages apart from abusive fundamentalist Christian marriages.
@@sansim Thankfully Catholics don’t believe in the Bible alone, but also in the tradition of the Catholic Church and the lives of the saints. Wives should respect their husbands and husbands should respect their wives. Total submission leads to abuse, as often happens in fundamentalist communities.
@@patriciag6030but it is also in the tradition. All church fathers concurred with wifely submission. Read thomas of aquinas, john chrysostom. And also it does no lead to abuse by itself, but it is a matter of problems spouses must already have.
You're so right about Catholics advancement in marriage over Fundamentalists. There was a case study of domestic violence of 4 religious categories and Protestants had the highest rate of domestic violence in marriage, these are the Sola Scriptura people. Catholics, to be fully Catholic, we take into account not just the Bible, but also the communion of Saints, and the counsel of trent.
I think Matt spoke very well and I am grateful for all the hard work he does. With this being said, I don't see why we need to be quite so hesitant about the idea that there are certain qualities more proper to women than men. People say that femininity/masculinity looks different from person to person, but is not Mary the perfect example of femininity such that all women are feminine insomuch as they approach her and the way that she carried herself? Likewise has it not been said countless times that men are manly insomuch as they conform to Christ? I believe there is a proper way to be feminine no matter who you are. Be like Mary. I heard a priest, Fr. Chad Ripperger, once say that while it is true every person can attain every virtue, some virtues are actually more proper to women and more proper to men based on their nature. Apparently, this is what Aquinas wrote on the matter. If this is the case then it would seem like some kind of gender essentialism has to be true. A woman who is immodest, since modest is a woman's most proper virtue, would not only lack virtue but also femininity, whereas a woman who lacks fortitude may not harm her femininity as much as the one who lacks modesty. Likewise, if a man lacks fortitude, he not only lacks fortitude but manliness, whereas if he lacked modesty it would be less of an offense to his manliness since fortitude is his most proper virtue. If this is the case then modest is part of what it means to be feminine and women should behave modestly. A woman can't say that her version of femininity lacks the special excellence in modesty that is proper to women. Same for the man regarding courage etc. Anyways just some thoughts I had on the subject. God bless you guys and have a great day. :)
I will see if I can find it. I have seen a bunch of his lectures and don’t remember which one it is in, but I am thinking it’s probably in one of his talks about virtue. If find it I will let you know. God bless.
Yes, THANK YOU for this, Matt! 26 yr old woman, convert and married and I 100% agree. Catholic Tradition is clear, and as it turns out, we are actually happier that way :D
I think it's important to note that it's a functional distinction, not a value distinction. And if men are the head, women are the body, just like with Christ and the church. Or, of it was a house, the roof and the walls. The walls have to submit to the roof, in a way, to keep it up there. And the roof has to love and protect the walls, of it instantly falls flat. But there is lots of variety when it comes to house design. You just will benefit a lot from having a roof and walls. You can make a house without them, sort of, but it will be functionally missing something, and the two together form a complete and unique dwelling. It's a practical arrangement, it's something meant for our benefit. It's trying to show us a good way to fit together and understand one another and meet one another's needs and the needs of the world and the dwellers in the house. If you're using it to try to solve your personal problem of wanting someone to dominate or be dominated by, you're using it wrong.
Ephesians 5:21 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." No one ever reads this verse that precedes the one discussed. It does not invalidate the following verse, but neither is it invalidated by the following verse. Headship and leadership are work and responsibilities. Men are called to sacrifice their lives for their wives,
Blessed Mother was considered a part of the church, but Christ's first miracle was done at the Wedding in Cana, because He listen to her when she asked Him to. This set the example that husbands should allow themselves to be counseled by their wife within reason. No wife wants to submit to a husband who dismisses her opinions and thoughts when hard decisions are to be made and if she has more knowledge in the matter.
I was struggling with what this meant for a while until it was pointed out to me submit means submit. Not put yourself under the mission so I get to decide too. Be to your husband as the church is to Christ, obedient in everything (except sin). Glad God brought this information to me before my husband so when I do get married I can be an obedient example to my children. Can’t wait to meet the man I will submit to in everything as I have to Christ. For he will be my head as Christ is his.
Be careful you're not ceding your own right responsibilities with this. I see it as marriage is a team sport. One person is the captain of the team, but to be a good leader, he needs to listen to the input of the rest of the team, and the team members have a responsibility to speak up and share their thoughts, concerns, and ideas. A godly husband is not a dictator. He's a leader. There's an important difference.
It is a mutual selflessness between both partners! Yes we have different roles, but God had a whole list of commands and expectations for BOTH members. Check out Ephesians 5. The wife supports and nurtures, but the husband protects and cherishes.
Please remember Ephesians 5:21 which precedes the discussed verses: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Submit does mean submit, but husbands and wives are called to mutually submit to one another and then the following verses go more into detail.
Actually most of the Fathers of the Church wrote that women and men have different areas of influence and they should rarely intererete in each other’s sphere. The woman oversees the house, education of Children etc; then man oversees the material and exterior aspects of family life. For big decisions it’s the man’s opinion that leads. It’s a little bit like the Pope and the bishops: everyone owes obedience to the pope, yet the bishops have their areas of jurisdiction over which the pope is not supposed to interfere. This is Jewish law in the Old Testament and the meaning of Paul’s words. It doesn’t mean the woman has to submit to every husband’s decision like a slave.
@Story is Queen Thank you for being honest about this. Unfortunately, our Catholic influences (Matt Fradd, among many others) simply WILL NOT be honest about what "submitting" means
2:11-2:23 With respect to Matt Fradd, he (like almost EVERY Catholic influencer these days) simply will not own up to the obligation for women to "submit to your husbands." Instead of simply being firm with what our faith teaches (wives: submit, men: love), he tiptoes around the issue in order to avoid coming off as sexist and insinuates that women don't NEED to submit, but rather that women already WANT to. It's not about what women want, it's about what the Bible tells us women are obligated to do. OBVIOUSLY men have an obligation to be loving and Christ-centered, but a woman's submission to her husband is not dependent on whether SHE thinks her husband is worth submitting to. She made that decision to marry him
? He said women need to AND most women actually have a deep desire to be lead by their man. He's not tip toeing in any way, just explaining, with love.
And to some people its not "obvious" that men have to be loving to their women. Some 'alpha male' movement these days (that some catholics also follow), is an example of a movement that doesn't share that belief.
No, he's reading scripture with the aide of the Holy Sprit. Since only Christ can determine doctrine (Paul can only explain), all teachings must go back to a command of Christ. That's what the Ephesian verses are ultimately about: setting aside self-interests and caring for and loving each other. Reading hierarchy and who the boss is into those verses is the result of reading scripture through the lenses of the fallen world and not through the lenses of Christ. Christ did not die and resurrect for men to have literal authority over their women. He did, though, empower men to serve by loving and carrying out acts of service so they can love as Christ loves the church. He empowers women to love and support their men.
Haven't watched yet, but I would think submission simply means that the husband makes the final decisions about stuff and it's the wife's duty to submit to whatever that decision might be and to not argue and fight to usurp that authority. The husband should take into account whatever the wife has to offer and thoughtfully consider her opinion before making a final decision. This command is meant to keep things running as smooth as possible.
Actually most of the Fathers of the Church wrote that women and men have different areas of influence and they should rarely intererete in each other’s sphere. The woman oversees the house, education of Children etc; then man oversees the material and exterior aspects of family life. For big decisions it’s the man’s opinion that leads. It’s a little bit like the Pope and the bishops: everyone owes obedience to the pope, yet the bishops have their areas of jurisdiction over which the pope is not supposed to interfere. This is Jewish law in the Old Testament and the meaning of Paul’s words. It doesn’t mean the woman has to submit to every husband’s decision like a slave.
@@sarahcasm7893 i didn't say EVERY decision. He can decide to let the wife make decisions. But if husband and wife are at odds about something, she is to submit to his decision.
Roman Catechism of the Council of Trent The Duties of Married People The more easily to preserve the holy state (of marriage) from dissensions, the duties of husband and wife as inculcated by St. Paul and by the Prince of the Apostles must be explained. Duties Of A Husband It is the duty of the husband to treat his wife generously and honourably. It should not be forgotten that Eve was called by Adam his companion. The woman, he says, whom thou gavest me as a companion. Hence it was, according to the opinion of some of the holy Fathers, that she was formed not from the feet but from the side of man; as, on the other hand, she was not formed from his head, in order to give her to understand that it was not hers to command but to obey her husband. The husband should also be constantly occupied in some honest pursuit with a view to provide necessaries for the support of his family and to avoid idleness, the root of almost every vice. He is also to keep all his family in order, to correct their morals, and see that they faithfully discharge their duties. Duties Of A Wife On the other hand, the duties of a wife are thus summed up by the Prince of the Apostles: Let wives be subject to their husbands. that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word by the conversation of the wives, considering your chaste conversation with fear. Let not their adorning be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: but the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. To train their children in the practice of virtue and to pay particular attention to their domestic concerns should also be especial objects of their attention. The wife should love to remain at home, unless compelled by necessity to go out; and she should never presume to leave home without her husband's consent. Again, and in this the conjugal union chiefly consists, let wives never forget that next to God they are to love their husbands, to esteem them above all others, yielding to them in all things not inconsistent with Christian piety, a willing and ready obedience. Ben Sira 26:1-3,16-19,24 [1]HAPPY is the husband of a good wife: for the number of his years is double. [2]A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband: and shall fulfil the years of his life in peace. [3]A good wife is a good portion, she shall be given in the portion of them that fear God, to a man for his good deeds. [16]The grace of a diligent woman shall delight her husband, and shall fat his bones. [17]Her discipline is the gift of God. [18]Such is a wise and silent woman, and there is nothing so much worth as a well instructed soul. [19]A holy and shamefaced woman is grace upon grace. [24]As everlasting foundations upon a solid rock, so the commandments of God In the heart of a holy woman. 1 Timothy 2:9-14 [9]In like manner, women also in decent apparel: adorning themselves with modesty and sobriety, not with plaited hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly attire: [10]But, as it becometh women professing godliness, with good works. [11]Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. [12]But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to use authority over the man: but to be in silence. [13]Adam was first formed; then Eve. [14]And Adam was not seduced; but the woman, being seduced, was in the transgression. 1 Timothy 3:4-5,11 [4]One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all chastity. [5]But if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? [11]The women in like manner: chaste, not slanderers, but sober, faithful in all things. 1 Corinthians 11:3,7-9 [3]But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ: and the head of the woman is the man: and the head of Christ is God. [7]The man indeed ought not to cover his head: because he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man. [8]For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. [9]For the man was not created for the woman: but the woman for the man. Titus 2:3-5,9 [3]The aged women, in like manner, in holy attire, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teaching well: [4]That they may teach the young women to be wise, to love their husbands, to love their children. [5]To be discreet, chaste, sober, having a care of the house, gentle, obedient to their husbands: that the word of God be not blasphemed. [9]Exhort servants to be obedient to their masters: in all things pleasing, not gainsaying: 1 Peter 3:1-7 [1]In like manner also, let wives be subject to their husbands: that, if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word, by the conversation of the wives, [2]Considering your chaste conversation with fear. [3]Whose adorning, let it not be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: [4]But the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptibility of a quiet and a meek spirit which is rich in the sight of God. [5]For after this manner heretofore, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: [6]As Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters you are, doing well and not fearing any disturbance. [7]Ye husbands, likewise dwelling with them according to knowledge, giving honour to the female as to the weaker vessel and as to the co-heirs of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered. Ephesians 5:22-24,33 [22]Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: [23]Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body. [24]Therefore as the church is subject to Christ: so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. [33]Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular love for his wife as himself: And let the wife fear her husband. Colossians 3:18-21 [18]Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it behoveth in the Lord. [19]Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter towards them. [20]Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing to the Lord. [21]Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged.
@cb885 this was definitely an area of contention for us, I was not allowed to oversee the house and education of the children, because he thought that was also his purview. I had no power within the home. I also wasn't allowed to have boundaries, or really even opinions. He also decided God told him to have another wife, and it was my duty to manage her, too (but again without actually being allowed to).
Ephesians 5:22 isn’t about us, people. It’s not about wives and husbands. It has nothing to do with a wife submitting to her husband. Why? It is all about the mystery of Christ and the Church verse 32.
As a catholic woman, I am always conflicted about what to make of this passage, but in practice, when it comes to my own married life, it has never really been an issue. We respect each other, discuss things and usually come to an agreement, or if not, I somehow feel if it's an issue where I really just need to let him have his way, and sometimes it's the other way round.
@@Black_pearl_adrift so u are saying conditional submission ? That’s not biblical. If ur husband is not a good person that doesn’t excuse u from the submission. You have to pray for his conversion and still submit unless it’s a sin. Likewise if ur wife isn’t submissive husbands have to pray for their conversion and still love her like Christ loved the church. Nothing is conditional here.
@@soccerlife5041 you literally just made the case for conditional submission “unless it’s a sin” is a condition. A bad husband IS a sinful one. Both venial and mortal sins. A husband who is unkind commits a venial sin, a man who lies, a man who is not patient etc.
a good analogy could be the relation the Pope has to other Bishops. Both have a kind of equality from all being bishops but there is also inequality in that the Pope is the Head in a way that other bishops are not
Everything after verse 21 in Ephesians 5 is dependent upon what is commanded in verse 21 being true. Those who teach marriage in seminaries often have a very difficult time enunciating the practical distinction between natural marriage and sacramental marriage. This is understandable, since natural marriage has existed since the beginning, and is, in its way, blessed by God, but, there must be some consequence to Christ’s choice to elevate marriage to the dignity of Sacrament, signifying His love for the Church. I believe Ephesians 5 is a key to coming to some understanding of this. We are to submit to one another out of love and reverence for Christ. Husbands must love their wives just as Christ loves the Church, which means that he must not just be willing to give his life for his beloved, but he must actually do so, even if it doesn’t necessarily mean that he literally dies doing it. Husbands are to be Christ to their families, in the way priests are to be Christ to their parishioners, and bishops are to be Christ to their dioceses. If they embody this great mystery, the Christian wife should have no trouble with submission to their husbands. Too often, because of our sinfulness, men fall short of the sacrifice required of them, as do their wives. Like everything else, frequent Confession is needed, because all of this is impossible except by God’s grace.
Roman Catechism of the Council of Trent The Duties of Married People The more easily to preserve the holy state (of marriage) from dissensions, the duties of husband and wife as inculcated by St. Paul and by the Prince of the Apostles must be explained. Duties Of A Husband It is the duty of the husband to treat his wife generously and honourably. It should not be forgotten that Eve was called by Adam his companion. The woman, he says, whom thou gavest me as a companion. Hence it was, according to the opinion of some of the holy Fathers, that she was formed not from the feet but from the side of man; as, on the other hand, she was not formed from his head, in order to give her to understand that it was not hers to command but to obey her husband. The husband should also be constantly occupied in some honest pursuit with a view to provide necessaries for the support of his family and to avoid idleness, the root of almost every vice. He is also to keep all his family in order, to correct their morals, and see that they faithfully discharge their duties. Duties Of A Wife On the other hand, the duties of a wife are thus summed up by the Prince of the Apostles: Let wives be subject to their husbands. that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word by the conversation of the wives, considering your chaste conversation with fear. Let not their adorning be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: but the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. To train their children in the practice of virtue and to pay particular attention to their domestic concerns should also be especial objects of their attention. The wife should love to remain at home, unless compelled by necessity to go out; and she should never presume to leave home without her husband's consent. Again, and in this the conjugal union chiefly consists, let wives never forget that next to God they are to love their husbands, to esteem them above all others, yielding to them in all things not inconsistent with Christian piety, a willing and ready obedience. Ben Sira 26:1-3,16-19,24 [1]HAPPY is the husband of a good wife: for the number of his years is double. [2]A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband: and shall fulfil the years of his life in peace. [3]A good wife is a good portion, she shall be given in the portion of them that fear God, to a man for his good deeds. [16]The grace of a diligent woman shall delight her husband, and shall fat his bones. [17]Her discipline is the gift of God. [18]Such is a wise and silent woman, and there is nothing so much worth as a well instructed soul. [19]A holy and shamefaced woman is grace upon grace. [24]As everlasting foundations upon a solid rock, so the commandments of God In the heart of a holy woman. 1 Timothy 2:9-14 [9]In like manner, women also in decent apparel: adorning themselves with modesty and sobriety, not with plaited hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly attire: [10]But, as it becometh women professing godliness, with good works. [11]Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. [12]But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to use authority over the man: but to be in silence. [13]Adam was first formed; then Eve. [14]And Adam was not seduced; but the woman, being seduced, was in the transgression. 1 Timothy 3:4-5,11 [4]One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all chastity. [5]But if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? [11]The women in like manner: chaste, not slanderers, but sober, faithful in all things. 1 Corinthians 11:3,7-9 [3]But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ: and the head of the woman is the man: and the head of Christ is God. [7]The man indeed ought not to cover his head: because he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man. [8]For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. [9]For the man was not created for the woman: but the woman for the man. Titus 2:3-5,9 [3]The aged women, in like manner, in holy attire, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teaching well: [4]That they may teach the young women to be wise, to love their husbands, to love their children. [5]To be discreet, chaste, sober, having a care of the house, gentle, obedient to their husbands: that the word of God be not blasphemed. [9]Exhort servants to be obedient to their masters: in all things pleasing, not gainsaying: 1 Peter 3:1-7 [1]In like manner also, let wives be subject to their husbands: that, if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word, by the conversation of the wives, [2]Considering your chaste conversation with fear. [3]Whose adorning, let it not be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: [4]But the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptibility of a quiet and a meek spirit which is rich in the sight of God. [5]For after this manner heretofore, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: [6]As Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters you are, doing well and not fearing any disturbance. [7]Ye husbands, likewise dwelling with them according to knowledge, giving honour to the female as to the weaker vessel and as to the co-heirs of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered. Ephesians 5:22-24,33 [22]Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: [23]Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body. [24]Therefore as the church is subject to Christ: so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. [33]Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular love for his wife as himself: And let the wife fear her husband. Colossians 3:18-21 [18]Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it behoveth in the Lord. [19]Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter towards them. [20]Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing to the Lord. [21]Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged.
That bit at the end where you talk about people acting out rigid ideas of what a human is - that's literally what happens in H G Well's 'The Island of Dr Moreau' brilliant book.
My two cents: He who would be greatest among you, let him serve. Look, you call me master, but I wash your feet. Maybe it’s not about being a slave to the husband but not being a slave to your ego. But why do the husbands get off so easily? Oh yes, God only commands them to die for the wife.
Amber, I am going to use your advice. I think the physical contact will be helpful in helping me to *listen*, rather than spend the time *thinking about solutions*. @Matt - in a conversation regarding the meaning of life and RU-vid with a new acquaintance we both brought up your channel at the same time as worthwhile. Keep it up :)
Bruh why is amber twisting words and not saying the roles clearly. Husbands are to love the wife like Christ loved the church. Wives are to submit to husbands like the church submitted to him and husbands are the head. There is clearly a hierarchy established by Jesus. It feels like she doesn’t want to admit husbands have leadership role in family and wives have to submit to his final say unless it’s sin.
Reading hierarchy into those verses is to read scripture through the lenses of the fallen world and not through the lenses of Christ. These verses are an example of how to love one another. There's not hierarchy there, no who is the boss. It's all about setting aside selfish interests and supporting one another and carrying out acts of service to love as Christ loves the church. Power-hungry people have a hard time accepting this.
"Amber" is an unemployed teen who imagines herself an "influencer" with a "minstry" of making RU-vid videos in her bedroom. What credibility does she bring to any adult issue?
As a grown woman, it is irritating watching her. She is so Inexperienced about real life, that she should stick to talking about teen topics for teens.
@Pat From Canada But I have not heard her say anything deserving of support. Her lack of life experience really disqualifies her from trying to "influence" adults. And she ought to be told that.
My husband has NEVER required or asked anything as the leader of our family regarding our children (or me for that matter) unless he’s mad about something. I’ve been forced for 28 years to do this. Sometimes it crosses with his lifestyle and we get into a fight because I call on him to step up as he’s sending confusing messages. ONLY THEN will he say, “You won’t let me”. (This is a man who enjoys telling stories of work or military where he conquered the day. He’s a great story teller and everyone loves listening to him). I believe the truth is, he’s just not very interested and he’s more than happy to put it all on me and then when kids fight back he blames me for not allowing him to lead. It’s a win win for him. He lives the way he wants and the kids are on his side because I’m the “mean, strict” parent. I can’t even say how many times I’ve begged him to lead. And on the rare occasion that he has, I’ve praised him to his face and to our children. I do think he’s better than he was 10-15 years ago but it’s been a long long haul.😩😩😩 I’ve met MANY women in my situation.
@@bumponalog5001 Well who really knows who they’re marrying? We didn’t have kids before marriage and he was very active. I honestly thought he would be engaging with kids. And he is as long as it’s fun/engaging for him. Also, I was only 23 and not thinking that far ahead. This issue is very common in todays society. We get along as long as I don’t bother him too much. It’s sad but a fact of life and I see the struggles some of our older children have because of our issues. It’s really sad. But it could also be worse. He’s always provided and he’s great to be around…..as long as we don’t bother him too much🤷♀️ I believe this is an epidemic among modern men.
Have you considered that maybe you DON'T let him? Like actually think on those moments. If it's just basic day to day stuff, maybe he just doesn't consider it worth leading over. I'm not trying to place blame on you, but I've noticed a lot of women want men to lead in situations men honestly don't care about. "Where should we eat" "What should we do next weekend?" "Should we get x y or Z to decorate the house". For a lot of women it will seem like a man doesn't want to lead, but the reality is a man often doesn't care about things like that. As long as he's respected, everyone's behaved, everyone's provided for, and everyone's happy than he's happy. If it's little stuff like that maybe just make suggestions. "Oh that Golden Chick looks nice, how about that?" "Hey, I heard that this event was going on, would you go with me?" Again, I don't know your situation so I could be totally off the mark, but it's just something I've noticed a lot of girls complain about. Also, when I say a man doesn't care about that stuff, I dont mean to say he doesn't care enough about the family to bother or anything like that. Just that something like "where should we eat" is like asking him "should I wear this dress or that outfit". A guy will say something to make you happy, but at the end of the day for most guys it's trivial. He thinks you look good, he's satisfied regardless where you eat, he's happy with the house as long as it's not filthy, etc. That what and why is just not that big of a deal to most men.
@@jmwillilams023 "Well who really knows who they marry?" What? I'm really sad for you if you chose to not know who you were marrying. I was married at 21, my wife and I have two children. I knew exactly who I was marrying, because I took the time to get to know her. We specifically talked about children and our values. We had deep discussions about our future. I picked her because I knew she would be a good mother. How someone could decide to get married before knowing their spouse is beyond me. And don't tell me people change, that's non-sense. People rarely change, we just choose not to know certain things cause it's uncomfortable.
so in short, the man always decides. So you decide where the 2 of you go on vacation and she must follow you, right? So you dont care at all what she wants?
IF YOUR CHRISTIAN HUSBAND GOES TO CHURCH, HE SHOULD BE IN THE HABIT OF SUBMITTING HIMSELF TO OTHER CHRISTIANS. 21 Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. (Eph 5:21) COMMON SENSE SAYS, IF HE IS SUBMITTING TO OTHER CHRISTIANS WHO ARE MALE AND FEMALE, HE SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM SUBMITTING TO HIS WIFE. HE'S ALREADY BEEN PRACTICING SUBMITTING TO BELIEVERS !!! 🔥THE WORD MAKES IT PLAIN🔥
Please remember Ephesians 5:21 which precedes the discussed verses: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Husbands and wives are called to mutually submit to one another and then the following verses go more into detail.
Actually most of the Fathers of the Church wrote that women and men have different areas of influence and they should rarely intererete in each other’s sphere. The woman oversees the house, education of Children etc; then man oversees the material and exterior aspects of family life. For big decisions it’s the man’s opinion that leads. It’s a little bit like the Pope and the bishops: everyone owes obedience to the pope, yet the bishops have their areas of jurisdiction over which the pope is not supposed to interfere. This is Jewish law in the Old Testament and the meaning of Paul’s words. It doesn’t mean the woman has to submit to every husband’s decision like a slave.
@@JR-zp7lw My RSV-CE Bible puts verses 21 through 33 under the title of “The Christian Household”. I interpret that as specific instructions for a household, rather than the Church body as a whole. Even if it is for the Church body, husbands and wives are still part of the church body and would still follow the words of this verse.
@@jann8718 your interpretation is wrong. Wives submission to husband is exclusively asked of her by God. Mutual submission is for every Christian which includes the Pope. That doesn’t mean Husband isn’t the head and wife can play the head role.
It says wives should submit to their husbands AND husbands should submit to their wives, but never forcefully or when against their will. Both work in union with God.
Husbands are not told to submit to wives. Husbands are told to love their wives like Christ loved the church. The mutual submission is talking about Christian submission which applies to even pope.
So context to the passage where it's saying "wives submit to your husbands" , Corinth worshipped in the temple of Aphrodite. Lots of prostitution basically. So people who were new to monogamous christian marriages weren't sure how to behave. Under the Roman Empire women were seen as slaves and subjected to many MANY horrible things, men were usually the superior in the empire. A vast majority of slaves under the romans were actually women and children. Men were used to beating and belittling women because they were seen as THINGS. So enter christian marriage and this now gives men AND women a new found freedom of loving each other. Some men didn't know how to respond in a loving way to their wives because of how the empire viewed women at the time. Women had a freedom now found in their voices, which they exercised quite a lot. So when Paul tells them to be submissive to each other, its not just to the women, he counters this soon after by saying husbands submit to your wives, etc. Its so that the spouses dont end up fighting when at home, the women could be beaten especially if the husband was still pagan but accepting of his wives new religion. Many women also used their newfound voice to call out their husbands during sermons/homilies, which would throw everyone off. Just like the head-covering scenario. This isn't some kind of masculine thing to crush femininity. On the contrary this is Paul wanting to protect the women. Prostitutes in the temple of Aphrodite, specifically female would cut their hair short so that they could be used as either male or female by whoever the customer was. Paul was telling them to cover their heads with a veil because if they were leaving that life behind but were growing their hair out, they were needing to be taken seriously when witnessing to others in society. Otherwise jewish people or pagans would not take them seriously and think, "why is this prostitute speaking to me about Jesus?" It was common dress for a jewish woman or follower of jesus to also cover their head out of modesty and reverence for God.
Even though it's a protestant bible, the life application bible, which the catholic church should re-do, has TONS of context. I recommend it, but just remember it is a protestant bible. It has very convicting commentary too.
Hold hands and talk across the table while looking at each other’s eyes???? I don’t know know what kind of man would tolerate that, but I would personally rather gouge my eyes out that engage in that type of non sense
I'm a long married woman and I rolled my eyes at that suggestion. I can't think of any worse way to attempt to force an artificial end to an argument. That suggestion is 100% based on what a woman wants to do and thinks is a good idea for her emotional needs. Except arguments don't work that way. If one person is forcing an emotional tool on the other, it's just going to end up being that person saying whatever is needed to escape the cheesy hand holding.
Coolness, a lot philosophy but theology is the best, especially praising God, the easiest kind of prayer and it's the best, exaltation of God w/ Mother Mary and the saints is truly the best kind of prayer and takes the least effort :-) God bless.
Have you watched him and his wife talked about her book? Ive watched the videos and I’ve read her book. I have The Case for Patriarchy but haven’t read that yet. I tend to agree with them. His wife is no push over for sure. But she believes she has a place and it is a more ,”hidden “ place, if you will. Our Blessed Mother lived that very same life.
Muslim here. I think we Muslims and Christians have a lot in common. Maybe more than what we think. It's heartwarming for me as a Muslim when I see traditional Christians who take their religion seriously. BTW Tomorrow is the birthday of our beloved prophet Mohammad PBUH and I have a request for you and all my Christian friends. If you want to know what Islam is all about and who Mohammad was, please read Quran yourself or talk/listen to a Muslim expert or an imam. Talking to a stupid islamophobe like David Wood is not a good idea at all. That guy earns money by just mocking Islam and Mohammad PBUH. This is his full-time job! And the funny thing is that almost all of what he mocks Islam or Mohammad PBUH for, you can find in the Bible! he is a liberal secular Christian, not a true Christian. and unfortunately, Christians don't know this. please do not allow such people to deceive you. They do not deserve to be listened to.
It makes sense to me to test difficult passages against Jesus' command to love your neighbor as yourself. If you are loving your neighbor as yourself, then whatever you do with him/her ought to benefit you both (or at least help one more than it hurts the other). So, it doesn't seem to make sense for the husband to be the head of the family unless this benefits the wife. From experience, it appears that women often do like men to be the leader, and they do expect their men to be better than them in at least some ways. For instance, it's a meme that women can't decide what to have for dinner. They like men to make decisions for them. When women look for a partner, they often have a laundry list of requirements, but if you ask them, "How many of the things on your list would you be willing to do for your husband?" you'll often find that they had never thought about that before. And women are something like twice as likely to initiate divorce if they earn more money than their husband. From these things, and many other pieces of evidence, it appears that women instinctively demand that men be stronger and more capable than they are (even if they won't admit it because of their pride). In the Biblical times, it was probably taken for granted that wives would be materially dependent on their husbands. This is why there is admonishment to take care of orphans and widows; it's understood that men are the ones who provide for their families. It makes sense from both a practical and a moral perspective to try to please the one that you are dependent on. It makes sense to me that authority and responsibility ought always to go together, and that dominance is only moral when its for the benefit of the one in submission. Whenever I have domineering thoughts (which I do have), I think of something that I can do that my wife would like (like do the dishes, or give her a kiss). She usually responds with gratitude and respect. She is a naturally humble and loving person, so she is not at all bothered by letting me take the lead when I know more about something than she does. I think a husband's authority over his wife is a necessary tool in order for him to have responsibility for her. But like all tools, it is not useful in all circumstances. I do not attempt to lead my wife anywhere if I am not confident that I know better than her. Far from being loving, that would be just dumb. Wives should be able to freely express themselves, so long as they do so respectfully. It's the husband's job to take care of her, and how can he do that if he doesn't know what she needs? She should freely express herself, the husband should listen carefully, and then do what he thinks is best for the family, and then the wife should follow. My wife is an extremely practical person, so she does not believe in anything that she has not experienced for herself. She does not care about abstract arguments for their own sake, no matter what they are. So, she has never cared much for the idea in the abstract that wives should submit to their husbands. But if I happen to be stronger or more knowledgeable than her in something, I lead her and teach her in that, and she naturally follows and is grateful. If she knows more than me, I go her way. If neither of us know, we talk and then make our best guess. But even in the case where she may know more than me, it often takes the form of her saying, "I think we should do this. Is that okay?" and I say, "yes". She does not even know what a Biblical wife is supposed to act like (religion is one of those things she's not interested in), but if I treat her with love, she spontaneously acts like one. I'm not saying all women will do this, because many women have psychological problems, but if they are oriented properly, they should naturally feel gratitude and respect for the one who makes sacrifices to protect and provide for them. I always thought it was mega hot how Sarah called Abraham, "Lord". I have told my wife this, but she has never called me that. But I focus on doing my best to be a good husband, and I let her focus on being a good wife. There is a reason why the Bible tells husbands how to behave, and tells wives how to behave, but does not tell either how to make the other behave. You can only control what you do, and not what somebody else does. The husband should focus not on making his wife submit, but in acting in such a way that it would be in her interest to do so. And the wife likewise should not focus on trying to make the husband love her better, but act in such a way that it would be easy for him to love her. Many people I think have social dynamics backwards. A husband, for instance, may be proud that his wife submits to him. Or a wife may be proud that she has a rich and successful husband. But what good the husband does (such as working hard, or loving his wife) is a credit to him, and what the wife does (such as submit to her husband) is a credit to her.
Mathew 20 : 25 - 29 Christ's definition of leader either of the family or of any other kind of leader is a person who voluntarily does the most undesirable jobs and makes life comfortable for his subordinates, 25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,[a] 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,[b] 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Very awkward question to ask this young lady. Anyway, from what I've seen of a lot of Christian marriages, it's almost like the husband is worshipped like a little god in the home. I always assumed that both are supposed to be submitting to *each other* and then to their God. Don't really see that version in real life.
Really? I see the opposite more than not. Women being dismissive of their husbands and just doing their own thing, usually to their and their family's detriment.
Mh, I don't want my man to lead where we are going. I want this to be a decision we both make together. Sometimes he's in a position, where he can't lead, sometimes I am. But we work together as a team and support each other.
It means the husband has authority over the wife that the wife does not have over the husband. That is what the st. paul says multiple times and that's how the Church's magisterium has always interpreted it and all catholics have a duty to give submission of intellect and will to the ordinary and universal magisterium.
As a Catholic woman I can confidently say this is absolutely disgusting and a marriage is a partnership. This is absolute garbage. I cannot put into words how disgusting and wrong this is. No. Just no. NO
Thank you, Matt, for being the one to answer the question about women submission. And not Rose. Gosh, I can't believe Rose tried to add her opinion, just because there was a small gap in Matt's speech at 5:05!
3:37 I imagine the reason for this is that it's just a one-sided transaction with the woman just nag-yelling at the man, so they do something else to soften the blow and maintain their masculine ego/face integrity, kind of like Poliviere in Canada eating the apple to the reporter or something (in that direction, but not that flippant obviously). This solution is so adorable, and I'd imagine it would actually work if you could get two people to agree to it, but if the guy actually tried to initiate that in response to getting yelled at, I think most women would get super offended like he's trying to charm his way out of it or thinks that she actually wants to make out or something, and she'd have some kind of vxxlxnt reaction to it. I guess if the woman initiates it, then most guys would appreciate the contact even if they pretend to be surprised or infringed upon on the surface (like the same way the woman felt in the reverse scenario, except with a feeling of angrily quiet[er] humiliation rather than the outburst or slapping the hand away like you'd expect the woman to do, at least in the worst cases).
