Superman Gets a Divorce 

🤣🤣🤣

"I'm back! Let's make a Jon Kent!" "Waityouactuallycameback-"

"It was ME Barry, I SPOILED YOUR MILK!!!"

Super-Dead Beat Dad😂😂😂

that never ends well

bold of you to assume he wasnt there

He’s the husband Lois deserves, but not the one she needs.

with enough prep time anything’s possible

@@scratthesquirrel5242he’s in the closet rn

​@@scratthesquirrel5242I legit spit my food out when I read this lol

He has loads of emotional baggage on top of all the same issues Superman has. Yeah, he has money but it would not be worth it in the long run.

@@skullton3292 yeah. Cus all that money is spent on a pointless endeavor that is really just an excuse to vent out frustrations because of Bruce’s failed and meaningless life. I mean, as we learned in Batman Beyond, after all of his cosplaying, his vast fortune, his charities, and EVERYTHING he went through as Batman… It was all for nothing. It all amounted to nothing. Absolutely nothing.

​@DamonNegrofear no wonder owlman says it doesn't matter

@@DamontheDemon7 lmao deserved

​@yes-sj3pd Indeed. He spent years fighting crime as the unstoppable, untouchable Batman. A mortal who was seen as a force of nature... feared by all who knew of him. A physical god that most people, villainous or not, would find difficult to even stand before him! Much less face him in a fight. And WHAT does he have to show for it? Nothing... Absolutely nothing.

It’s almost like invincible. Amber n Mark. It’s really sad low-key. Idk what I’m yapping bout this is months old why am I commenting😭

@@Corporal_spidey there is no deadline for yapping, even if the person your replying to is dead

☠️ ☠️ ☠️.

i mean is there any other way to describe him

💀

And then they started talking things out that’s how insane Batman is 😂

he's so insane people started posting skull emojis

It's something the New Adventures incarnation would do minus the ending

I don't entirely disagree but at the same time I feel the speech would be a bit reversed. Since Lois is a workaholic through and through it's not hard to imagine a plot where Clark wants to spend more time with her that doesn't involve The bugle or him having to rescue her from her getting herself into trouble at the agressive persuit of a story

​@@nahuel3433meh, there's time for her to Mature, but the World of Cardboard and all the responsibility that that entails has always been the Best Characterization for Clark

@@nahuel3433 1. She didn't really used to be portrayed as that much of a workaholic so much as a go-getter reporter. To clarify, she didn't used to compromise her private life for the sake of work, but she did compromise her own safety for the sake of a scoop. Partly cause she knew Supes would bail her out when she ended up in trouble, which is its own can of worms, but meh. 2. Bugle, huh?

"The fuck is Interstellar?"

I remember one YTer (speaking in defense of Superman as a character) describing him as an "Eternal Boy Scout": kind if naive bit always willing to help...

Honestly yea i can see it In solid JJ land he is eternally trying to do good, but this can come off as conceited or mildly jerkish in its sincerity, as odd as it sounds Oh and of course getting batman on the super friends solely for the money

best characterization of Spongebob too

@@kreeperkiller4423 SPONGEBOB?

@@Sarah12471 yes. SPONGEBOB. Spongebob is more interesting when he has good intentions, but not quite the wisdom to help. Spongebob is a good kid, but still just a kid. and that makes him much more fun to watch :)

I do enjoy readingf some fine literatured

☝️🤓

Wonder Woman should still be voiceless for tradition sake

@@falconeshieldthat’s what it is at this point, he has female voices but it’s just funnier that Wonder Woman still can’t talk

@@GA.1022 At this point it's even self-justified in universe since the one time non-evil Wonder Woman got to talk, she was unfortunately possessed by the myopic _WW84_ Wonder Woman. That or _Flashpoint_ one. ...Or the _Injustice_ one. Gods, I swear Wonder Woman gets turned evil the most of the Trinity in alternate universes.

Well, Lois doesn't spread nonsense like Wonder Woman, that's why Lois has a voice actress.

Kinda weird he only now just got a voice actress, "MandaBear," literally right when AI voice cloning became a thing in 2023. Really makes ya think...

Lois as Robin would be interesting to see as a video.

Hmm, does her parents still alive though.

Buuuutt….booty shorts if were going off the old robin design…combine that with the Adventures with Superman Lois and thests a win

I mean shes actually good fighter and whenever she gets powers she becomes sidekick for superman

​@@hakksemerci9988sure, but then she eventually dies like every robin

I AM THE PINK KRYPTONITE.

He’s got you there Clark

Dam it!...I wanted to be the first to say it.

Fine, but the offer still stands

There's the red one. The black one.... The Pink one.

When did he get a female VA? I genuinely can't remember.

​@@Rose-yx6jqHe's gotten voice actresses a handful of times, but for tradition sake, and cause she would spread nonsense if she had a voice actress, Wonder Woman doesn't have one.

Watch Smallville, and that "Superman always wins" line won't even be in your vocab, just *poof* . Gone.

​@@paperking_realAnd consider we haven't even heard what kind of horrors would come out from Cheetah and Catwoman's mouth!

@@Rose-yx6jqoften, but not for woman woman, Wonder Woman doesn’t get a voice.

I like that Supe himself have trouble in explaining this power. It's like explaining colors to blind people, they have different perception

@@r3dr4te963 Clark is like a chef who follows traditional styles of cooking without knowing the science behind the recipes. He doesn't know exactly HOW it all works, he just knows that it does work.

foreshadowing

@@garlicbreadloaf Right? I guess he realized people liked the joke enough to make a whole video about it.

Its so funny that this could just be easily explained with by having supersz patienceerdzsz likerdzsz lmao. 🗿

Well guess what, everyone read books, so maybe Sup should stop complaining about his speed reading privilege. Last time I checked, being able to read several books quickly is STILL a superpower.

@@oneoranota Sure but unless you're a normal person then you definitely won't wanna end up with that one.

​@@oneoranota who is grabbing a book and reading it all in one sitting in the middle of a conversation?

Justice League Batman was so annoying. An invincible woman who adored him was RIGHT THERE but his grumpy ass got him to bang an underage Barbara and sulked him in an edgy series that should've been it's own thing but got forgotten in time due to being too edgy.

I don’t think its really attention to detail but its just relating to the other biggest DC hero

@@ramofmight_ In some incarnations she marries Lex.

It’s also a thing in the silver age

It's a old comics thing, Lois Lane used to have her own solo comic during the Silver Age and a bunch of those stories were her trying to marry Superman or another hero

I also forgot this is Solid skit for a moment there, feels genuine Superman there

I don’t think defiantly is the word you want to use

That punchline hit like Bruce Lee.

I was almost disappointed because I knew there would be a punchline

​​@@projectpems8304im not almost dissapointed am actually dissapointed

every kryptonian is dead, except of the ones that aren't (and there are a LOT of them)

And his cousin. Of all people, of all odds, his goddamned cousin. Whom adaptations outside of comics always forgot she's not Clark with a skirt. Imagine if he didn't fall for Louis. He finally found his equal, but *it's his cousin*

@@falconeshield shes not Clark with a skirt. for one shes a lot darker and two she hates humans

“Hence the ‘was’, smallville.”

​@@falconeshieldthat's probably exactly why they made her his cousin. So people wouldn't be like "why is he still with Lois? they could save the Kryptonian race!" instead it's just "yeah that's your cousin, just stick to clapping human cheeks Clark"

Agreed, though that is unfortunately still an *extremely* low bar over a decade later somehow despite that fact the DCEU could have easily used the DCAU as a template if WB & DC had been competent.

Ahem, the SJEU.

Jesus Christ died for your sins on the cross. Repent and believe in him or you will be separated from God The Father for all eternity and face hell forever, for all eternity, never ending.

Space Jesus SUPERMAN??? @@treek10k

@@treek10k this is about Superman, not Jesus. OK, maybe in Man of Steel...

Nothing can top Baby Batman

and then there's "red" kryptonite, which has completely random effects. It turned Superdog and Supercat into fish, swapped their powers onto someone else once, made Clark basically an evil womanizer once, of course "sometimes" it removes the powers, yada yada "random" XD

"More love for the lore than WB does" The bars so low even Trigon in hell is like *Yo how the fuck is that thing still going?*

​@@nathanielbass771I read somewhere where it had each Kryptonite and what it does. You are talking about orange Kryptonite, which does that. Green kryptonite makes Superman weak or sick. Red kryptonite strips Superman of his powers (which is why the chamber Clark was in, in "Superman 2", had red flashing light. Black kryptonite makes Superman evil (as shown in the movie "Superman 3" when Superman turned bad). Blue Kryptonite makes Bizarro weak or sick, but has 0 effect on Superman.

Facts!! 😭🤣🤣

I actually love the idea that on one of his adventures he's seen an alternate universe or seen the future or something and every time Lois mentions having kids he just goes "Good gosh, Lois, speaking of kids, I think I hear one falling off a building. Time to go!"

He's probably worried his super spunk will kill Lois hence why he avoided having kids.

@@TOONYBOY "Clark, you know it's a real injustice to your wife to not discuss a family with them." *the three stare in silence at eachother* "I see the problem now Clark." "Yeah not a good idea now is it Lois?" "Oh fuck you, Bruce."

Holy smokes, you're right! _Good,_ indeed.

He also dressed up as a Girl and went Undercover for some reason. Then there was that Time he Turned Into a Kaiju Sized Turtle Man. Don't know which one was Weirder.

I don’t remember any of these moments, but the snippets of Jimmy Olsen insanity I have seen make me instantly think these are real. He also got sent to Hell for some reason.

@@billylo7875 Jimmy was hot as a chick and I will not apologize.

He slept with Talia Al Ghul? Will Jimmy now have a unknown son later on that will be trained In AI photo editing . With an expert eye for photography.

Dude got around, though

My favorite part of the video, honestly, lol

In an alternate universe she does marry Batman and Superman gives her away at the wedding, they end up having a son

@@byronrush9802 What was that in?

Jesus Christ died for your sins on the cross. Repent and believe in him or you will be separated from God The Father for all eternity and face hell forever, for all eternity, never ending.

​@@treek10kis that what the story's called?

I heard there was this show from the UK called The Rise and Fall of Reginald Perrin where a guy fakes his own death and then returns wearing a ridiculous fake moustache. Every knows it's him but goes along with his pretending he's someone else, even his wife.

Clark Kent can't be Superman. Clark Kent wears glasses, Superman doesn't. If he was Superman he wouldn't be able to see what he was doing and would just fly into stuff, it would be a disaster.

I could 100% accept a headcanon that everyone who works on Clark's floor knows he's Superman and does the work to keep the secret from getting out. Would explain how he keeps his job while leaving every other day.

If i recall, the sole reason why no one thinks Clark Kent is Superman despite having the same face is because of how mundane and pathetic Clark behaves. One would think that Superman, the dude with a freaking arctic base and god bulk who shoots lasers while flying would be a man who has it all and struts it, and when people see Clark with the same face as a dude with a 9-5 job, usually hunched a bit, meek, soft-spoken, and normal...they'd think "Na, there is no way in hell Superman's secret identity would be THAT dude. Way too normal and timid." So Clark gets the hilariously ironic reputation of "that dude who looks like Superman but is too lame to possibly be Superman" and thus can get away with not even needing a disguise. Funnily, if Clark ever behaved like Bruce Wayne then everyone would immediately be able to tell he's Superman because that's the kind of guy you'd expect from someone with Superman's power.

​@@gregvs.theworld451Everyone involved completely understands the whole: "secret identities stop villains from going after the people close to superheroes" thing, so they all just unanimously agreed that they were better off burying the story than losing the office every other day and getting held hostage from 9-5 like Lois...

If you're familiar with their silver age characterizations there A LOT they aren't supposed to speak about.

Wait... What?

He did box Ali too and boy did he hold back

​@@hisnitchexactly what he said. Superman is older than desegregation after all.

​@@hisnitchLook up the old (1970s?) _Lois Lane_ comic entitled "I am Curious (Black!)" where Lois voluntarily transforms herself into a black woman for 24 hours to find out how they "really live" for a story IIRC. It's, uh, something.

Even Thor did that

Pretty sure that Thor didn't leap per se. He would throw his hammer and hold on to the wrist strap so it carried him along.@@falconeshield

And the first flier in comics, if I'm not mistaken, was freaking Namor.

That sounds right. The original Human Torch didn't fly in his first story or two if memory serves.@@spacevagabond4017

"Master Bruce, I prepare a 5 star dinner for you every night and yet every time you return from your patrol you just grab bags of snacks off the kitchen counter and skulk back to your cave!"

Yeah but he’s clearly eating well elsewhere. Definitely gets his protein. Alfred’s concerned that he’s ’found a different butler’.

Kh, definitely the Batman and Alfred one would be funny.

There's a comic panel that already made this joke by having Alfred come up to Bruce Wayne and tell him that he's made a lovely desert of nothing for him.

@@inferno9714I guess Alfred needs to serve some fresh rats for him to eat as that is like the only meal I’ve seen Batman eat.😂😂😂

I mean she's a journalist

That's kinda like saying having better skin complexation then Joker though

​@@TheCreepyLantern It's like saying being slower than the flash

And a better family man in Smallville universe... he just found a better woman!!

I mean Dick came out pretty.... Decent?

To be completely fair, Gotham literally has a curse to have infinite crime. Regardless of the Joker and the Riddler being dependent on Batman, the city would DIE without Batman. There was ONE series where Batmans's protégé was actually able to protect the city by himself and he STILL needed Bruce's help half the time. Bruce can't retire. He spends the day as Bruce Wayne pretending to be a playboy, running a company that has worldwide connection, continuing his missions as Batman, taking care of his adopted children and whatever else is happening that day. He literally can't retire without sacrificing everything.

Well yeah, LGBT pandering. Of course people would bring up the literal gay stone for attention.

@@redshepherd32 I mean AFAIK that story line is actually pretty unpopular among parts of the LGBTQ community

@@jthoward whether they bring up the story because they like it or because they think people in that community find it offensive. It's still using lgbt audience for attention

​@@redshepherd32it's literally just people thinking it's funny, calm down buddy

@@maevem316 thanks for repeating the original comment. Doesnt disprove my point. 🙄

Bros was saving planets from destruction before they got married. This was already their life. She should’ve expected this. There are millions of bad guys that want to destroy or enslave earth and half of them are recurring.

Lmao yeah, bro literally protects the planet and sometimes even aliens from other worlds Bro works like........a LOT. xD

Ok, but, like, that doesn't make him a good husband.

Superman does a lot for society, cut him some slack.

@@e.d.5766 honestly superhero marriages in a nutshell aren't a good idea. xD

"He'd probably train me to be his next robin" He probably would to! In the JJAU and the comics proper.

Warning for NSFW topics but I once read a Fanfic where Clark ended up in Gotham instead of Metropolis and Selina got him to confess his secret identity by edging him until he almost cried

@@nidhogg8446bro what do you be reading huh???

@@nidhogg8446lmao that’s one way to Reveal something

I’m crying yo 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@@nidhogg8446what?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I mean, not to diss Solid JJ but this has actually been discussed before Clark Kent exists to protect Superman The man is Permanently Aware of every single bad thing happening around the world at any moment, every murder, every robbery, every natural disaster or car accident or house fire, he sees and hears it all And even with his speed and Strenght he Can't fix it all by himself He could Try, sure, and he would be extremely successful, but at that point he would lose himself He would dedicate every single living moment to fixing the problems of the world, he wouldn't be a person anymore, just a machine or a force of nature without much in terms of free will or emotions He Needs to be Clark Kent, just as he Needs to be Superman, he needs to find a balance where he's a force of good but also human enough to have a life

​@@nidhogg8446 Sounds like they shouldn't have made him omniscient as a super power.

@@L.Pondera Look they threw all sorts of powers to the wall back in the day, it just turns out that Super Vision and Hearing stuck to the wall and only decades later someone realized the horrifying inplications

@@nidhogg8446 sure, but knowing what's happening on the other side of the earth is physically impossible. So if they reeled it in to a couple of miles it would make much more sense. Instead they've constantly had to come to terms with it, work around it, or reinterpret it. Instead of making him God, make him a super man. But that's just me.

Really? I know people make this joke about memes like this all the time but o feel like modern superman stories are doing pretty well

He stopped bringing his coffee

Look, Bruce might be the most workaholic person in all of human history But he still needs to delegate stuff and he can't just say "You're not allowed to fire tinytown because he's my pet project" without it looking suspicious

Bruce actually bought out the Daily Planet in the comics at one point to not only keep Clark employed, but to also keep them the only Metropolis-based media company that's _not_ under the LexCorp umbrella. Wayne Enterprises also owns the property management company that Clark rents his apartment from.

@@danielbrant6740 So basically Bruce was being a homie by helping out Clark.

Superman probably knows people say things like that out of frustration and doesn't take it personally, plus marrying a Superjero isn't a walk in the park either.

Now you got me thinking about the logistics. Kryptonite IUD? Anyways, I think in vitro fertilization is their best bet. Would be funny if young Clark Kent donated semen thinking it would be used for "scientific research" and a few years later there's superhero kids popping all over.

I mean, he's probably not even lying.

He can't run forever. He eventually had kids in the comics. It's only a matter of time for this one.

If need be he can set it on fire with his laser eyes or whatever.

@@aaronkelly1762 But we all know Batman gotta keep Joker on the tightest leash for those 9 months. Otherwise, you know, Kryptonian dictator

​@@AirLancernah he said there's a house fire in the ATLANTIC😂😂😂

Women do get voices. Just not wonder woman

​@@kitsuaria4859At this point it's tradition dammit

Nods in lack of voice actress.

I love the one where Superman finds out Krypton was Never Destroyed.