Tank Files: The Bob Semple - "The Best Tank Ever Built" 

In any other situation, I'd see stats like that as obviously hacked. I don't question these for minute. Only reason it wasn't higher is Hitler made the first good tactical decision in years to eat a bullet before the Bob Semple got there.

*You guys have no idea how many Soviet tanks were lost in WW2.* *So Bob Semple > Every Soviet tank.*

Führer des Benutzers German tanks. Over 5 years of experience and improvements along with countless different models operating in different climates and filling every role necessary. Vs An oversized Pacific tractor. I think it’s fairly obvious why the Germans lost.

The only way to win is not to fight -

@Einar Figueras Obviously after a kick ass build up sequence of the Bob Semple slowly rolling up to the city of Berlin all slow and cool like Clint Eastwood, but if he was made out of God and also was a tank even the wind itself dares only blow a tiny billow of dust past his tracks before the panicked, desperation of a very grave mistake was made getting as far away from what it knows is coming right fucking now. When you've got the meteorological forces of nature that weaves storm systems to wipe out coastlines for its own amusement... Well... You're the Bob Semple tank. (We have yet to create a single analogy that could be used in place of the basic description) "There's a dirty gang low-life, good for nothin' scumbags I been lookin' for and I reckon this is where I'll find them yeller bastards", Bob Semple drones out in a tone so low it could be heard by Lucifer himself, down below deepest mantle, the abyssal plains upon whixh rests Hell; and the righteous fury those words had locked within their intent, would have only been notice to a master of the craft. Lucifer slowly took to his tracks... (Yes of course, Lucifer is also a Bob Semple Tank in this story. He's the fucking Morningstar, the first and greatest among God's children and the only being to ever stand up, eye to eye and question him as his equal... and somehow wasn't completely wiped from existence. What else could he possibly be for that to even be possible? I REST MY CASE) humbled into a trepidation that silenced even the furthest echoes of the choir; the extacy of their retribution given a moment pause. Lucifer allowed of himself a single smirk and like a devastating wave crashing through was the crescendo again filling his halls with their beautiful, terrible symphony. Throwing open the blackened gates the Devil steeled himself at the threshold, and rallyed unto him every nightmare and depravity from across the twisted kingdom. "Subjects; Degerenates; Friends. We'll be entertaining some very distinguished guests tonight; and long overdue are they to our famous hospitality" And as Berlin herself shook before the sun set against the distant horizon, and fell with it the last light she would know for quite some time. "Oh, I reckon I'll find 'em. And when I find 'em, there's gonna be a reckonin' " Bob Semple Tank rolled in. I had way too much fun writing this and I hope whoever took the time to read it got some of the sort of whimsical joy found in the inherent silliness of the world that led to the things like the Bob Semple Tank actually existing. Only human beings could have had entirely serious people, using serious government funding for weapons development in response to some of the worst wartime and acts of inhumanity that we have ever been faced with... could roll out with the Bob Semple Tank. No matter how much darkness can be found within us, we always carry a little light somewhere along with it. It's always enough to push the darkness back no matter how small it might seem to be, and as long as we choose to hold onto it we can light the way for each other. Good only stops existing when we stop believing it does. And I believe in the Bob Semple Tank.

not the nuclear arsenal rights, bob semple rights

A nuke would probably not even damage the Bob Semples frontal bren gun, even if it was in the epicenter of the blast. Objectively speaking, that is.

In The wrong hands i could destroy The universe

When Thor was asked what kind of weapon he wanted and he replied with “The Thanos killing kind.” he was actually talking about the Bob Semple, except when he realised that they were all disassembled he had to resort to Stormbreaker

Yeah it'll put another problem in the cold war after too. Two nuclear armed nations will have no answer to the Bob Semple.

Pretty poggers going from the Bob Semple to setting up heavy industry

Wow, I had no idea NZ was so utterly unindustrialized. Even the Confederacy had heavy industry 80 years prior. What the fuck, were they all farmers over there?

Also, it's sad that now the population doesn't even have firearms now. They went from Semple to disarmed and unable to even field an infantry militia now.

@@Roketsune You might want to get a new info source if you think the NZ population was disarmed or has ever fielded a militia.

@@iatsd The NZ militias and volunteer corps (see Forest Rangers, Militia Ordinance 1845) make up a massive part of our early history. As for disarmament, while certainly not disarmed, there is a concerted anti-firearm effort from both the current government and many former governments in the late 20th and early 21st century. The New Zealand of today has very little in common with its pioneering settlers.

herpderpherpd that’s why it was so bare bones all you gotta do is get a guy to the front line

My grandfather fought with the 29th mixed, he could pick up a man w one hand, earned a police commendation after the war for saving a officer on duty who had gotten caught in a fight, granddad was 50-51. XD the policeman was only a young fella.

@@kolamoose8717 hm so i guess that makes the bob semple an APC?

@@fiendish9474 get rid of the a because it's not armour it's a barrier to for protect them from the tanks contents

What the fuck does that mean?

No. The Bob SEMPLE snipes you from 3.4 km away before you can start swimming back.

@@loganjustlogan8367 before you even see it

@Meme Police before everything at all, there was one thing: the bob Semple. The signilarity before the big bang? The barrel of one of the bob semple guns. The bang itself? One shot fired from said canon

@@Number1Irishlad even before the bob semple tank THERE WAS BOB SEMPLE TANK!

Wait How do australians swim upside down??? your comment makes no logic

0/0 (kind of ) equals Infinity

@Jonathan Stiles lim h->0 n/h is infinity if n/=h (not equal).However, lim h->0 h/h is 1 (if it wasnt we wouldn't have calculus) you could say 0/0 is best represented as 1. But to be fair you did mess up the moment you defined something as n/0 and not a limit

@@jackchristian9854 yeah, yeah. Maybe I failed one to many calc midterms and wanted to feel smart again.

I gave you 777 likes. Stay lucky

literally nobody has ever beaten one sooooo

Monsieur Pepe I still love it

*M50 Ontos left the chat*

That's 360 degree coverage of fully automatic instantaneous firepower on all sides.

T-35 has 5 machineguns and 3 cannons

@@vanlocphan3051 yeah, dropping a bob semple from the stratosphere is not an act of desparation, it's dropkicking the enemy

*Things**

Trabant P601 **characters* Don’t insult the machine spirit, you heretic.

Top ten what do you mean. Only the bob semple tank could defeat Thanos.

@@carterlastname6218 no it can't

Ah no 1 my coq

Bob Semple approves.

#2 tsar tank

#3 panther cause it’s transmission would break before he made it to the field

Thotttie Panther M10 is better

True

trouble is it is not corrugated iron it's actually Spaced Sloped Slat Armour and bob semple could potentially be credited with its invention as i can find no examples of this type of armour being used before then.

I mean they are better than the japanese tanks anyway

Banzaii!!!

*Lunches Kamikaze attack for one Bob semple

That’s not even their a game. Japan would have been done for if it had to fight the emus.

just find a tractor, a welder and an unopened american gun safe

@@FLMKane and some shitty-quality metal to use as an armor.

It really wouldn't be that hard

@@carmalwise3932 well I live in Wisconsin, so i have all the parts literally just sitting outside. Not my stuff but it's still there

Are you mad? The world isn’t ready! No one man should have all that power!

It was explained that the Semple was returned back to its original tractor configuration, just plowing roads and air strips.

Well we're not all speaking Japanese or German rght now, are we?

You saw his video first?

Uhhhh *jumps out window*

@@DepthofMart ye cannot escape the wrath of BOB SEMPLE *semple tank crashes out of the same window, all guns alight blasting at you*

tHe BeSt TaNk EvEr

The Duality of Man

you got the quote wrong "I fear no man, but that thing. It scares me"

Matt from Wii Sports I thought that Matt had no fear. I guess something as formidable as the Bob Semple tank can strike fear in even the strongest of men in this century.

😈

The entire military force of the allies < Bob Semple Be afraid, be very afraid.

Bob semple tank oh god plz go away

THE REAR GUNNER WONT FIT *PUT HIM SIDEWAYS*

RADIO'S NO GOOD

@@frenchsoldier8485 JUST USE TELEPATHY

@@Number1Irishlad Wrong answer, to gulag

@@frenchsoldier8485 bold of you to assume im not already there b/c i telepathically heard you thinking of sending me to Gulag

So Infantry

​@@bigbobtank1563 Rather than get into a 'this vs that' competition, I'd just point out how many tanks were designed to do a job and did it well (like terrorize infantry), and found something else to do when enemy tanks showed up.

Big bob Tank So by this RPS logic infantry beats the Ha-Go.

*cough* Anti tank *cough*

Some Guy Does anyone know how much AT the Japanese had in WWII?

Bob Semple the rest just fears your awesome power

Brandon Whitehurst I have had this account for over 2 years. Thanks though.

Brandon Whitehurst so, what are you saying? I’ve had my account for longer? Or... what? You didn’t really say.

Brandon Whitehurst Oh wait, I get it now. My apologies, I didn’t know there was another. If you would like me to change my user that would be ok.

Brandon Whitehurst So would you like me to change my username? I’d be happy to.

The virgin maus vs the chad bob semple

@@mrwehraboo5478 the virgin ratte versus the chad bob

The virgin KV2 vs the chad Bob Semple.

If Chad Bob And Kv2 had a son together?

@@kaybevang536 chad bob with 6 152 mm autocannons

"a bunch of pissed off Kiwis coming to rip your eyes out" sums up our people if you anger them fairly well I think

@@loah_1 can kiwi birds fly? If they can that makes it all the more terrifying

@@fiendish9474 nope they don't have wings they are ground dwellers like the rest of us pour sods but yea dont piss us kiwis off because we do bite

I wish to weld the bob semple to a plane , attach missiles and pilot the bob senple . Flying fortress has nothing on this

@@chrisgould101 would never happen the caterpillar tractors they used are super heavy but if we loaded one into a Superfortress we could drop it into combat like a combo of a bomb and a drop pod

Sure they’d survive, but they’d also get catapulted into space to torment some other planet... for now...

@@claypidgeon4807 No. The Semples left willingly because the Japanese were unworthy opponents. They used the nuke to propell themselves into space to search for worthy opponents

Thus were born the Infinity Stones. Thanos was but a failed project to generate a worthy opponent, but sadly the Gauntlet’s Uru metal just couldn’t hold up against the original corrugated Cassowary beaks of the original Bob Semple Infinity Stone mounting.

@@claypidgeon4807 This would be an interesting mod for hoi4

@@NinjaAO42 I must go now, my planet needs me

Germans make good tanks, but no one can defeat a God.

German engineering and technology is literally not that impressive, yes the made some great progress during the war but wehraboos hyped it into space. Basically every tank after the panzer IV was to big and too complicated.

@@dennis7437 guess who supplied the Chinese their high speed railways let me help you Germany. The agricultural automation comes from the Netherlands. The 3 main countries of industrial automation are Germany, Sweden and Japan the Chinese are nowhere near in these sectors. Germany was the country which laid down the bases of the 4th industrial revolution.

@@oliverfelsobuky8977 mate the 4rd wave of industrial revolution is about cyber physical systems, networks etc we are not talking about that are we? This is about the ww2 mentality the germans had. Also America is one of the biggest contributors to cyber physical systems

@@dennis7437 you were the one who were talking about China and this century first of all. By the way you are right about the German tanks of ww2 but I am on a different opinion I think the main problem with the German tanks were over complicated and hard to manufacture expecially with an idustry under frequent bombings by the allies and the Russians.

Other way around

Britain's tanks were so outdated compared to the Bob Semple, 1 Bob Semple could outgun the entire British Tank force and kill it easily

No. No long. Tall.

Bob semple crew has big ass balls that they need the size of a bob semple

Mate, not saying it got anything to do with dicks, but Bob Semple was 100% us under-compensating god make other countries feel like they have a chance.

its why the gunner has to lay on mattress due to the sheer weight of his balls

Bren gun pp’s

Indeed bo indeed

Bokoen hello

This tank is even worse then the tigger 2

Join tommykay's rise to power Bo

Denmark isn't real!

Everybody gangsta until Bob pulls out the tractor

Lol both of you

Doubt the king ever made it out of the factory without being carried.

You made a mistake it should be tiger looks at Bob bob explodes

You mean tig *ER*

T I G E T

Battleship009 “The bogeyman?” “The bob semple tank isn’t the bogeyman. It’s who we send to KILL the bogeyman.”

@@DS-tv2fi YOu don't know what I ripped it from do you?

Battleship009 No, but my quote fits the Bob Semple’s power.

@@DS-tv2fi Halo 2 opening scene with some word changes.

Battleship009 Hal 2? What’s that?

I have to wait 90 days to change my name This is true. I would know.

Its Papa Memer

You can't have breakdowns if you dont have to ride a tank :rollsafe:

Their transmision broke down when they tried to take em to france so the war went on to 1945

Tread On Them

@Romax 24245 "Sometimes reasonable men must do unreasonable things" - Marvin Heemeyer 2004 Oh man, when you mentioned that monstrosity, all I remember is this quote from that person. For those of you who didn't know, the Killdozer was one of the prime definitions of DESTRUCTION. During the Killdozer Rampage, no one was hurt miraculously but the damage, ohhh man, was estimated to be $7 Million in total. Police can't do shit about this monster, SWAT have no idea how to stop this, and the governor at that time was considering on authorizing the use of ATTACK HELICOPTER equipped with a HELLFIRE MISSILE or a two-man fire team equipped with a JAVELIN MISSILE but decided against it because the Killdozer incident was reaching its end and it might've caused unnecessary damages if they were deployed. Killdozer was stucked in a hardware store and due to engine failures, it stopped moving. He then takes his own life and that should be the end of it but I say that if this beast was deployed in WWII, the Japanese might've shit their pants seeing this bad boi.

Killdozer Man did nothing wrong

@@randomstranger_3 Given that it actually had steel-concrete composite armour it might have been capable of dealing with smaller German vehicles.

@@randomstranger_3 the video says "the best tank ever made" but it says in Simple History "the worst tank ever made"

Nah, "Hold my pasta" is what Italy would say.

Atleast Italy's Tank are ABLE to penetrate some other Tanks unlike Bob SHITple, all they have is a bunch of Machineguns stuffed at every direction of the Tank, it can only kill soldiers, but not Tanks

@@moisesezequielgutierrez Japanese tankettes were downed by basic rifles.

@@nukclear2741 A "basic rifle" of the day is the equivalent of a modern designated marksman's rifle, if you get close enough (100m or less) everything from a French MAS36, Italian M38 Carcano, Russian M91/30 *_will_* go through the 30mm of armour something like a Type 94 Te-Ke would've had.

@@CaptainGrief66 Yes. A basic rifle.

To reach true bob semple quality, just find cheap and strong tractor of no name brand lying in the back of grandpas farm for last two decade, grab thrown away construction corrugated steel and employ some AA and flex tape, get 6 cheap chinese knock off machine gun and voila a true Bob semple.

@@Verpal I'm going to push back a little. The D-8 wasn't a no-name brand, it was made by Caterpillar and was (and is) the Toyota Camry of heavy equipment. But yeah, cheap and reliable. I guess everything else you say is true! But whichever tractor you use needs a long front engine compartment for some poor sod gunner to lie on.

@@helbent4 Why modify your tank when you can just hire smaller gunner? And Caterpillar is too good, I need to ask you to use cheaper tracker else it will be too fast.

I'm going to make this official. If i ever have the funds, I'm going to rely on you to source the material, I'll pay for it, well get a Bob Semple up and moving.

you forgot the mattress that one lucky crew member got to use I think it was located about the actual tractor

Underrated allied power, fought long and hard in both wars on multiple fronts. The NZ forces need to be remembered more.

@@PotentialHistory Well, thats what happens when you're isolated to a very small country away from everyone else. We've done quite a lot of cool stuff. Absolutely ruined Britain in the Battle of Gate Pā We Captured the First German General in Tobruk. Had the RAF's first Ace. Wiped out 80% of the German 7th Flying Divison in Crete Had God Influence His Holiness Bob Semple (Praise be unto his name) Create the fiercest tank ever devised by man Prevented the Australians Delta Company 6RAR from being entirely wiped out in the Battle of Long Tan (105 Australians and 3 New Zealand Artillery coordinators against roughly 2,500 Vietcong, With Monsoon rains, The Australians only suffered 16 killed where as the Vietcong suffered roughly 245 Officially confirmed, 350 presumed)

@Jimmy Gully I hope I pronounced it right haha

@@PotentialHistory As a new Zealander I would like to put forward some information. Here we have a comedian called Te Radar. He quite often does New Zealand history shows about weird stuff we get up to. One episode he made was on Bob Sample. At the end of the episode it shows a small version of the tank that his dad made in a mock battle with some kids. There is a steaming service we use in New Zealand. To sign up for an account is free. It's episode 2 safety first. Please enjoy www.tvnz.co.nz/shows/te-radars-chequered-past

​@@grizzly7455 Along with a legend being awarded the Victoria Cross twice and much much more...............

Fair play to him for that!

Up there with the great Spartan "If..."

100th like

Hello there.

@@TheStargatefan12 *General Kenobi*

Im half expecting war thunder or world of tanks to add my countries greatest creation as an overpowered top teir tank on aprill fools.

The mighty Bren guns can shred an Abrams in 4 seconds

It would b to OP for Warthunder. What are we talking about? BR 80.5?

@@jorekeishi952 br 11.

Hopefully this one gets "unneeded buff" and make it extremely imbalanced

Analia Red ❤️

You could say you are a *SEMPLE* man

+athe lightz Don't worry, he beat me to it as well.

@@GlamStacheessnostalgialounge Ahhh don't worry mate it was a *SEMPLE* mistake

At Arthur pass there was this guy who's trying to hustle, but I was like nah, but then I realized that I should have let him hustle me, because by hustling me, he would have hustled us all, and that's a win for New Zealand, long live the queen.

But not the only tank NZ designed

I once killed 1 trillion Bob semples with nothing

um ok... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

@@chivinsrikumpol9621 lies, not a single Bob Semple was destroyed

Neither, they would team up

The universe couldn't handle so much power.

Let's make this fair, and have shaggy at 101% power.

That would be the fight of the century.

Hmm, they are both equally matched I don't really know.... My money's on the universe exploding

It bled for me

My stones dropped for this.

ME TOO, THIS MAKES US BFFFFS

The real question here is, who didn’t?

Good I thought you’d forgot them

Tegan Hall and then burst into flames because a rife bullet goes through the front armour

@@theomnissiah-9120 not even a bullet,just a particularly sharp rock

Ok being realistic here its armor is steel a rifle bullet won't break it

To be honest, to the regular soldier, the Bob Semple would probably scare them. But New Zealand was going to be dealing with Imperial Japanese soldiers, known to be fearless to their enemies. They Banzi Charged American positions even if the battle was lost, so I don't think they would back down.

Realistically a problem for them. The Bob Semple armor was proof against any Japanese infantry small arms. From what little I know, Japanese amphibious landings included few if any tanks. And any that landed would be those little light ones, albeit their main gun would take out the Bob Semple - if the two met, which was far from certain is such a scenario.

why does every one of these underrated comments have high likes and no replys lol

God bless Heemeyer and God bless Sky King, they knew it was better to live one day as a lion rather than for decades as a sheep.

Good one

Sounded like the Tractor was used in the Pacific after the tank kit was removed from it. Not sure if that was what was intended.

Prolly in new guinea

Worse. Imagine angry Peenoise piloting the Bob Semple. *The Japanese would shit their pants.*

Woooosh

Oof

the boss woooosh

boss woooooosh

@@OrkBoss sooo, you're saying the Bob semple was such a threat to the Japanese that it's sheer existence was enough to deter the might of the Imperial army, without firing a shot? Man the semple was a truly impressive machine!

"pretty comparable" to something built 20 years ago during an era of rapid technological development really isn't very good. Also, the Bren gun is a terrible weapon to equip a tank with (low rate of fire and you have to change magazines frequently).

it's not as if the Japanese tanks were the best ww2 AFVs

@@jrd33 Actually the Bren gun was accurate, tough, reliable, accurate, blew holes in lightly armored vehicles and had the same rate of fire as a BAR or a Browning 30 cal. The Bren was a better weapon than the BAR. Yes you would have to change mags but the Japanese Nambu, same rough design made murder of many marines. I doubt the Japanese or Germans had pleasant things to say about the Bren.

I don- I don't think that's a man.

@@riotbreaker3506 ever played TF2 ? Bcos its a TF2 reference.

@@B-17G_Flying_Fortress well, duh.

@@riotbreaker3506 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WUhOnX8qt3I.html

One can only wonder what goes on behind that mask...

Chitau Moua STOP

@@eamonnprunty what?

Chitau Moua the joke was trash😂

And it was covered by _simple_ history?

@@serubyne57 meh

golden

Thought the same thing. Also, nice pfp.

No funny didnt laugh

@@justsomerandomlittlekidont2464 nobody asked

Cv.33:Pathetic.

Lee-Metford

Actually, you used pre-WW1 Lee-Metford and MLE rifles, it was the Australian variant that was built from SMLE rifles

You beat me

Holy smoke be with you

*LINDYBEIGE BURSTS THROUGH THE DOOR* ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-y0iKec86xvk.html *!!!!THE HUNDRED YEARS WAR IS A MYTH, THE MG42 WAS THE WORST GUN EVER MADE, KATANAS ARE USELESS, THE NORMANS ARE NOT FRENCH!!!!*

Also, Bren footage at 303. Good shit.

L3 Tankette Me: P E R F E C T I O N 11/10

H.35 French light tank is ma baby!

Bob semple sucks

Chivin Srikumpol Get out of here heretic

mate where gonna send in the emu's you wont like us when we send in the emu's

There were other ways they could have gone that would have made more sense. A model T with a 37mm on the back... Or even just relying on stationary 37mm anti tank guns. Tanks are for maneuvering and breakthroughs. They are not really a requirement when defending two smallish islands.

Agreed. A stationary gun would do the job if you're on the defense. Like I said though, at least they tried.

As an Australian, believe me we laugh at them every day

Agree, towed guns, bazookas, mines...

Making history again

The universe would be destroyed in seconds

Shaggy

@@chivinsrikumpol9621 Bob Semple

*PTSD intensifies*

HMMMM AGED TO PERFECTION

@@Ayy_Doll_Fiddler Post Tractor Stress Disorder.

The entire Japanese army

Lvl 1 maus lvl 99999999999999999 bob semple

**ear rape pump it plays**

There's the Tsar Tank, the archnemesis of the Bob Semple, and don't forget Da Vinci's flying copter-tank thing(but we don't speak of this one)

And what about oversimplified?

HuSK PL3YZ He is the god that watches over the war

For some reason i read it as "semple history" rather than simple history

So basically it'll probably be a good portable pillbox against banzai charges and Japanese toasters then?

I agree, I've always said that having any kind of armoured vehicle with machine guns to support your infantry is going to be useful, and would definitely have helped slow the enemy down. Not so sure about putting it up against other tanks, but then again I'm sure the kiwis would have taken that into account and avoided those kinds of situations in favour of using infantry with anti-tank weapons against enemy armor.

The main issue is keeping enough ammo on hand to keep those Brens firing for long enough to repel a Japanese invasion..

Kim Jong-un do it plz

Marc Orsini Yes. Please use these instead of your T-62s. Maybe you'll beat South Korea by making them all laugh themselves to death when they see these things coming.

Kim Jong-un my plane is a planeisnt

Noo save them just incase the americans attack

I'd leave it for now, mate. You remember how cringe it was having Donnie constantly on the Twitter-Flex over a nuke jokes. You start a line of Bob Semples though and you know you're stepping well past jokes. I know we all like a laugh mate, but you take it too far sometimes. Like when you starved your country almost entirely to death. Yeah it was funny at first but you didn't have to try and find places for the mass graves. You know whats not easy to dig a mass grave on? Mountains. And what is half your entire country made of? Mountains. It's not on, mate. Hmu on apex later.

we did??

Yeah a video on the penis tank would be cool

@@Kamina1703 On second thought, I don't need a video anymore. This is already the most thorough and plausible prediction possible.

Big dick Aussie > bob semple

Well designed is a bit generous. It was a good first effort, and an impressive technical achievement for Australian industry, but as a tank, it wasn't very good. The turret was especially bad, as related in this video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-XUqBMC5-HPI.html

Strongly agree, the Bob semple was but a misunderstood masterpiece

Y.B. K. More than we have reichs

If only they would've gotten one Bob Semple tank the Allies would've surrendered immediately, knowing that there wasn't any chance in winning the war anymore.

Or you know, followed orders. Attacks Russia with the goal of getting Oil and argicultural resources. Nahh, fuck it, let's invade Moscow.

Bob:I LIKE EM BIG. I LIKE EM CHONKY. Normal soldier: *Shits a brick.*

Grammar Nazi Your name and icon are awesome.