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I stayed safe in my cave until I turned 20. Then I went out to find my mate and drag her back home. My parents never told me that the sun would be so bright! 🌞
I love what you said here. I have a 17 yr old son,son to be 18 and he is desperate for a relationship and i see that's it's not for sound reasons. It's for filling his loneliness, having somebody to talk to and text. He has been rejected by every girl he has seeked after and while I hate to see him down, I thank God for the rejection. I have talked to him and explained to him that the rejection is actually God's blessing. I tell him that he's not ready for a relationship and all the responsibilities it brings,he's also not ready for the broken hearts he will encounter. I have told him that God is preparing him still and now is the time to focus on growing in the Lord, seeking Him more and becoming the man God intended him to be for his wife one day. By God's grace he is giving ear to what I've shared and he is reading and seeking 🙏. Parents are not supposed to affirm every whim our children have, but to guide and teach them through the gospel what God says 🙏🫶
You are so wise. I remember working at a “darling” little grocery store. I was 16. A co-worker would tell me about how his wife was withholding from him, and asked me to meet him in a private room. Multiple times. I never went. I also never told a soul. You never know what your children will be exposed to.
I also worked (a completely different job) for a very godly and hardworking man and his godly family, and learned so much and grew in my faith, and we are still friends to this day. I love your idea about the apprenticeship.
Still raising and homeschooling 3 of our 5 kids and have landed on many of these convictions as well. Good and godly friends have differing convictions. That's ok. We will follow God's lead for us. Made some mistakes with allowing phones/tablets too early (age 15) with some kids and had to back pedal. Other cases, it was ok for that child. We learned about avoiding being "fair" and instead looking for maturity and readiness. Decided before children that dating etc. should wait until they are ready to care for a family. Older 2 are now young adults out of college and praying for spouses; but they also want parental input. They saw alot of "ring by spring" on their Christian campus and they saw a lot they want to avoid. We are thought of as too rigid as parents. It's ok. We will give an account to God. We trust the Lord to lead them as we pray a lot for our kids and their choices.
Very well said Alana. We are completely with you. Our girls are 16 and 14, and we've been saying since the beginning that they won't be dating until they're ready to be wives and mothers. It's pretty simple 😊
Corno manso blessings and mari complaisant greetings for your sweet treasures at home as well! For that is the way of your meek horn husband with the blushing red face of cocu content compersion. 👺👯♂️
Well said! My husband and I went through the mud bc we had 0 guidance. Met at 12 & 14,I got pregnant at 15 he was 18 & had nothing. So many break ups and damaging situations happened in our relationship. I praise God we are making it still, we are 28 & 31 now & have 4 boys! I like how you chatted about even providing guidance for their careers too. We talk about that with our kiddos as well. We hope to stay together, Hispanics and Asians are some of the most successful people in America bc they work hard and stick together. Do more chats like this❤
I wish I had had this kind of wisdom growing up as a teenager and young adult (even after I got saved at 22 I still lacked wisdom!) Your sons are so fortunate to have a wise mother and father 🩵
I 100% agree. My parents were soooo encouraging to have boyfriends. It was extremely difficult to grow up thinking I needed a boyfriend. Alana is right. It only leads to heartbreak if they you are a child still in high-school in a romantic relationship
I'm so grateful for videos like these 🙏 I remember a video you posted about "the talk" and took notes 😂 as my boys are still 6 and 9. I pray everyday for the Lord's help, but these videos are very encouraging. Thanks Alana ❤
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. A lot of good points from a wise, godly perspective I appreciate that. My son is only 10 but these things are already on my mind.
I was raised that way and I'm so thankful for it! I'm sure it saved me from so much heartbreak. Unless you're at a place where you are ready to get married, there's really no point in dating. I'm an adult and still looking for a husband, but the same principle applies: if he's not the kind of man I want to marry, there's no point in dating him!
As a father of two boys, I constantly drilled into them that once they began dating, it should be about the process of finding a life-long spouse, but also will also be a one of finding how out about how they might fit with different personality types and values - especially spiritual ones - and of what they ultimately like and need in a mate. And so, I always told them to NEVER, EVER date a woman that is not a mature Christian - that it would only lead to heartbreak. My oldest only had two girlfriends - our pastor's daughter and the next was his wife. And by the time he met his wife, he knew much of what he was looking for - and so did she.
Working secular jobs was very good for me to learn how to deal with bad people and godless people and to learn how to talk to people about God and build relationships with people that don't know him- being a godly example in those environments it's so cool how you can make an impression on others. It has happened for me a lot.. But I was in secular jobs when I was 22 and older so I think I agree with their first jobs being something safer. but don't underestimate how much character a person can gain by being with people who don't know God. I think you can really reinforce what they've been taught and give them more confidence in themselves and what they know of the right way to live
Not allowing the teens to talk about who likes who is an amazing rule! I wish we had that rule when I was a kid. Didn't have a whole lot of guidance in that area. I wish my mentors and parents were the ones asking me if I liked anyone and talking it out seriously not just with knowing smiles to just go oh you're so cute and so funny but to actually go okay why do you like them give me the guidance like you said it's a good idea to not think about it much until you're old enough. I know my mom tried to help me when I had a crush she said I could hang out with him but I didn't know how to even talk to him it was super super awkward
How do you deal with rebellion (if you have ever experienced it)? My son is only 10 so not thinking about dating yet but he’s always been very strong willed. So I worry he will go against us as a teenager. My daughter I don’t worry about as she is more mature spiritually and she’s already 14… not interested in dating… thank you for this great video.
I can’t say a concrete answer since I don’t know him etc. but I wonder what’s going on in his heart and mind. I think I’d start by trying to find that out. At that age it may be easy to create fun and safe interactions for opportunities to laugh and talk…out of those times you ask serious questions to hear his heart. Reading proverbs is wonderful too:)
On my RU-vid channel, I talk about what happens when you Don't grow up with Clear Biblical Instruction "Modeling ". Lots of examples of people like myself "So Sad". RU-vid channel under Robert Laabs. Blessing to You & Your Family!!!🙏
HOW do you prevent dating…all of this is completely out of my hands. Raising a 16 year old boy…the more we try to guide it the worse it’s gotten. The more he rebels. He goes against all wisdom and instruction. My son doesn’t want to live for the Lord, so him and his girlfriend don’t have the same values we have. All I can do is pray. This is certainly never how I imagined things going. Teens these days expect to be treated as adults it’s what the public schools have taught them.
Maybe he needs to be allowed to live like an adult then…on his own. Get a job, provide for himself and see how that feels, and then he can make his own decisions without having to submit to your God-given authority as his parent. Teens these days want to live with the freedoms that they cannot have until they are adults while living at home for free and all of their needs being met by their parents. It doesn’t go that way. They either submit or they go “adult.” I’m really sorry. My heart breaks for you…
@@AlanaL3 yes, my husband has said if it were legal he’d absolutely kick him out. We decided to homeschool our younger sons to better raise them in the Lord and encourage them in the way they should go. I think public school is very damaging to the family, even though I went and was fine and I didn’t seek to rebel. I just wonder if it’s worse now than it was when I was younger. I really think your advice on finding like minded families is the great advice! I’m praying for a community like that. And I think developing a strong family culture also is important. For now we are allowing the dating without much interference. Because he would go behind our backs anyway like he has with everything else and then we’d have no idea what is going on. I’ve given him all the warnings, and have for years. I don’t want him to learn the hard way, but I think some people are just too stubborn and have to hit rock bottom before they recognize their own foolishness. It sounds like you guys are doing an amazing job! 💕
@@MandiArt his heart is clearly being made evident. He is a rebellious and not gonna honor and do whatever he wants. I don’t think you should let him have his way. If he’s gonna lie and sneak that’s between him and God, but I don’t think that you should give him the freedom that you are against.
Oh my gosh!! Yay! I found your page again! 😂 I had to Google it. Wanted to find you again after 6 years because I remembered your help with helping me find some homeschool resources, specifically Ambleside. Glad to see your still beautifully You and sharing wisdom and encouragement ❤️
