Thank you - just the name "Telling" moves me. As a survivor of child sex abuse by a priest, I know the shame and secrecy that keeps us in bondage for a very long time. Your coming forward and telling the truth of your lives make a difference to our healing. Thank you.
Why does child sexual abuse cause so much mental anguish, mental illness that it can cause trauma induced psychosis? Why do some people say it’s only biology, jiggly bits and nothing important when survivors all say it caused them so much loss and pain? Do some people survive child sexual abuse without issues and are not affected? I was affected only when I talked about it to therapists, family, friends, acquaintances who told each other and told everyone they know and all bullied me🥺 and caused my divorce and trauma induced psychosis. My mom even laughed when I told her I was sexually abused and made me think I’m a slut and that my ex husband was similar to sexual abusers which also other people tried to make me think. Telling people about trauma and about problems and about insecurities and about strengths and about thinking patterns is the same as telling them the code to destroy you for a long time or forever and also the code to ruin your marriage and all academic and career and financial and social goals. How do courts make sure that the people who are accused committed those crimes ? I finally found good therapy, good support groups after so many years of retraumatization and people telling me I should be dead already and that I’m a slut and dirty for having been sexually abused by men and women and a high school classmate and also by massage therapists masseuses and that I should have told my ex husband and they told my ex husband that I’m a slut and that I’m a lesbian and to divorce me and they didn’t tell him I was abused as a child by my maternal uncles, cousins and a house worker and a little girl. Even my mom was putting her hand close to my little brother’s genitals and that scared me and I remember entering the room and seeing my mom touching my little brother when he was 1 years old and she was changing his diaper and she was touching his genitals and laughing and got scared when I entered and that really scared me and my mom used to say that my dad was taking pictures of me naked when I was a baby but maybe it was my mom who did it because my dad never said anything sexually abusive except when I divorced and my dad bullied me saying my ex husband didn’t like me and liked other races and laughed also before that when he saw a waiter checking me out and my dad laughed and looked at me making fun of me whereas before that my dad used to have normal behavior in terms of that but my mom corrupted my dad after more than 25 years of marriage. Also, my mom used to say all sorts of bad things about my dad in indirect ways and even say that my dad’s relative told my maternal grandmother to not leave my mom next to her dad when she was a child and scare me that my dad is bad when it was my mom and her family who are perverts and sexual abusers.
