I grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church. Here's why I left | Megan Phelps-Roper 

"How can we love our neighbor when we pray for God to destroy them?" I loved that.

Giving a five year old an inflammatory sign they can't read/ understand is sickening.

Wow, her voice sounds so much different now that she’s grown out of that church. She no longer has that angry tone. Such a well-delivered speech.

"I thought my rightness justified my rudeness". So many powerful statements in this talk.

This woman seriously needs to narrate audio books.

Moral of the story: food brings people together.

"Don't assume bad intent" that hit hard. That we should go in with a neutral intent and that gives our minds a better framework for dialogue. Gave me something to think about

Damn. Look what just 4 years of acceptance and empathy can do for a person

As a Catholic and Christian in general: If you hate someone because of your faith, you're doing it wrong.

Her grandfather was the founder of Westboro Baptist, and her mother is the face of it. The extreme courage it took Megan to leave that disgusting place is crazy. The bravery of Megan is so astounding, and her open-mindedness is beautiful. ~~~~~~ EDIT: hi reader! 2020 Me here, coming back to visit this comment that 2018 Me published. If you're about to read the replies, please heed caution, as some of them are very rude and ignorant. Some people do not realize that a person leaving all they know behind to stand up for what's right and to pursue a more loving, open, and intelligent life path, at the expense of losing all of their family, friends, and possibly causing harm to themselves if people from their past want revenge, truly is a form of bravery. 2020 Me still agrees with 2018 Me on this specific lesson--- that people CAN change, but admitting you were taught/believed wrongly, and abandoning your old life is difficult , yet doing it makes you not only brave, but also humble. Have a good day :)

I’m so happy for her. Education is liberating.

The fact that she can say she was wrong , speaks volumes about her Courage and character

"What is better? To be born good or to overcome your evil nature trough great effort?" -Paarthurnax Skyrim

I wonder if her mom has ever watched this talk in secret because she secretly misses her.

When you are born into an environment of intolerance and hatred, it is very hard to muster the courage to become tolerant and love. I applaud you for your courage...and am glad you survived childhood abuse.

I really admire Megan for getting out of this cult. She didn't know any better and it's borderline abuse to force a child to spread hateful rhetoric that they can't even comprehend or question. It must be extremely difficult for Megan though because that's still her family, despite their twisted viewpoints, and she has had to leave them behind.

Honestly, considering just how brainwashed she would have been growing up in that cult, she's shown a remarkable level of personal growth and education. I can't be mad at that, when so many people refuse to change and see people as people first. Good on her for ditching that garbage, and opening her eyes.

She came to my religious school . I got to meet her and honestly she was the kindest woman ever

This is one of the most beautiful stories of redemption I've ever heard. So wonderfully delivered. Such great insight. Thank you Megan.

I just love her voice. So clean and soothing. It's a crying shame that such a kind soul was trapped in that abhorrent cult for so long.

Extremely impressed by her willingness to admit she was wrong

Hard to imagine such a soft spoken and humble person can come from such an angry and dismissive place. Good on her.

Damage was done, yes, but her eyes are open now, and there’s no reason to hold animosity towards her. She’s on our team now.

I wonder how many gay pride events I attended which you were part of. This isn't meant to be painful but I have to tell you. It's because of Westburro that I choose to make my veteran partner's funeral private and not published because I feared the church would show up. But, thank you for opening your heart ❤

I never thought that I would think of anyone who was a member of the Westboro Baptist church as a bigger person than me.

I’m a veteran. I saw you hold a sign that said “thank god for dead soldiers” and “thank god for IEDs”. I can’t explain how I felt when your church walked on the flag that my friends had on their coffins. Thank you for saying this. I forgive you. I will try to be more compassionate to people, like you, who are brought up in bad situations and show them love and respect.

I’m so proud of her. No condescension intended- but this takes so much courage. She left the cult that raised her. She’s been ostracized by her family. You can hear in her voice how much her heart has changed.

This is like the fourth time I've watched this video since it came out. It gives me hope for humanity.

This is peak character development if I’ve ever seen it.

This is it. We don't have to hate our enemy. Let's break the cycle.

I was honestly shocked when Megan left the WBC because in all the footage I saw of her, she came across as a loyalist through and through. When she left, it almost convinced me to believe in miracles again.

One of the best Ted Talks I have ever heard. Having been traveling the world for 33 years non stop and working in 40 different countries has certainly told me that it is very important to talk to all the people you meet around the world. But it's even more important to listen to them.

I love how soft spoken and eloquent she is.

Wow, Twitter was a platform for positive change and good. Never thought I'd see the day.

This is so impactful for me to see. I became borderline obsessed with watching videos on RU-vid about the WBC in 2011 while I was in college, trying to figure out if and how I could come out to my own family who is also religiously extreme, but not quite to this degree. It was a strange sort of experience to see her and her family behaving as they did and I noticed similarities to the society in which I lived. This odd sort of mirror helped me shape my thoughts around the ways in which I and those around me were falling desperately short. I could see how bad the WBC was very clearly, and all the similarities I noticed in my own faith and society weighed heavily on me. Eventually I got too stressed out watching the videos and stopped completely. But I had learned a lot from them. I ended up leaving behind my own faith and coming out shortly after. I was cut off financially and had to leave college to survive and support myself. Now, all this time later, I find this video by happenstance, on RU-vid once again, as I’m returning to college to finish the degree that I couldn’t finish before. I came out around the same time that she left the WBC and had no idea until now that we were on strangely similar paths away from harmful upbringings. I remember her specifically from so many interviews and ad videos and news stories. I remember her as this strange, horrific mirror, and as a villain in my own story. I even witnessed the WBC first-hand once at a pride event in Chicago and recognized some of the protesters from the videos I’d seen. I wondered if she was among them. It was otherworldly and strange to process-the feeling of this hellish group becoming something real and not just a bizarre spectacle on the other side of a screen. It is odd to reflect now on how learning about this church and seeing them in action had affects on me that ended up being positive by pushing me further away from the likes of it. This is the first I’ve seen of her since the days of me researching the WBC to death all that time ago, and I am so proud and inspired to know that she has come so far in the same span of time as me. It feels like another mirror, a very beautiful moment of reflection for me, to see how much the world and people within it can change for the better in a short span of time, and to think that someone who I remember so vividly in a specific light can be so transformed before my eyes. I hope she sees this and knows that for whatever harm she’s done, this video gives me so much hope, and I am proud of her for all the hardships she has gone through in pursuit of putting things right. On top of all that, she danced several very thin lines here very gracefully, and that’s not commonly done. So well-done there, too! I’m glad I got to have this full-circle moment. I think it’s had a positive impact on me yet again by helping to restore my optimism and hope.

Watching this in 2021 and her advice is just as relevant and on point today as it was in 2017. This is a great talk and should be on everyone's must watch list.

Megan has achieved what so many of us long to achieve: patience. Her willingness to listen to others so entirely against what she was always taught is both extremely rare and admirable.

Hold up, she had a civil discussion on twitter, that eventually led to her changing her entire world view?

Megan's content and delivery were impressive. To come from all the negative indoctrinations of Westboro and become compassionate, tolerant, and open-minded is truly a miracle. Hopefully, the rest of the family will see the Light.

Wow, I love this. One of the best things I’ve seen in a long time, and even though this was years ago it’s something I think people could benefit from now more than ever. Side note: The Westboro Church came and protested my theater group in high school because we performed Rent as our musical. I was a senior and I’ll never forget the signs they held up, so hateful and mean. They weren’t allowed on property so they had to stay across the street. We stayed on our end and sang “Seasons of Love” to them instead of yelling back. ❤️

As someone who is both gay and a veteran, I HATED this woman with a passion. However, hearing her here I am so proud of her and thank God that her soul seems to be saved. She has my support and my thanks.

I remember watching Louis Theroux's documentary on the westboro' church and remember him talking to this girl, and thinking "she's not going to be there forever". Good on her

I loved this and its made me think of how I sometimes react to posts from people I disagree with. She's actually an amazing woman. To have been brought up in such a toxic atmosphere but end up showing such humanity and removing all hatred fro her. To be able to move forward like this is quite remarkable. And she's right, dialogue is the only way we can move forward.

This is the third time I've come back to this talk. I've gotten something different from it each time.

So, ironically, a voice of calm reason, understanding and acceptance comes from an ex-member of an infamous hate group. I can't applaud her enough. To not only accept her own mistakes, but also the flaws in the belief system of her own flesh and blood, the very people who brought her into the world, must have been incredibly hard. Like she said, we inherently view our own outlook as the "right" one and it takes massive guts to admit that it isn't - in part or in whole. Can't have anything else other than massive respect for her.

It's really sad that people are giving her hate. It's not really her fault at all that she was made to protest and hold those awful signs. From the moment she was born, she was "brainwashed" into thinking those things. I'm happy she has realized that and has started over.

I feel so energised and hopeful listening to her, and so pleased that she's grown into such an articulate, illuminated woman. But I also feel for her to have lost her family, however misguided they may be, because that's one of the hardest things a person could go through. She's an inspiration to us all ❤

Question everything, especially what you've been taught.

children should not be used by adults as pawns in any form of protesting

Megan is proof that anyone can change

Don't assume, ask questions, stay calm and then make the argument. So simple yet so lacking in our world. Great talk.

Thank you for sharing. I took one of the best photos of my life during a visit to our town by the church. I am so relieved to hear you have hope!

Imagine how mad her parents must be watching this. So satisfying.

This comment section is so damn calm and "proffesional" Im proud of you guys.

I remember seeing her on talk shows when she was younger; the hate and rage she portrayed was awful. So glad to see she’s more at peace now.

Amazing talk - I remember her in Louis's first documentary, hadn't realised she'd left and am so happy for her. What's so powerful is realising in 2017 that someone who formerly hated for a living could clearly see how the world was headed, three years before the Senate was invaded and the most fractious election in history. Everything she said has come to pass and is getting worse. The world is turning into Westborough, just how sad is that?

Pretty sad that she feels guilty when she was brainwashed as a child, and almost all of her acts when a minor where not really her fault.

“I also knew that an apology could never undo any of it” I loved that line. A lot of people need to hear that.

Actually in awe of this woman, who she is, her choices, her words, her journey. So much respect. I know the grief of having loved ones whose thoughts are twisted and knowing that you cant and may never connect with them in the loving way you yearn to. Its a deep pain. But always better than living a life of lies and hatred. Bless her x

This is amazing. Her message and explanation of how social media can help buffer and bring people together brings me so much hope for the future.

4 things people did differently that made real conversation on twitter. 1.Don't assume bad intent. 2. Ask Questions 3. Stay Calm 4. Make the argument

she could narrate audiobooks. she has a soothing voice, right?

Very enlightening and uplifting to hear all this. Megan has found the path we all must take to leave the mess we're in and arrive at a loving, cooperative, planetary, community.

I applaud you. You’re so beautiful and intelligent! I can’t imagine how hard it had to have been to break away from all of that. I wish more people in the world could be just like you 😊❤️

The first time I heard about Westboro Baptist church was in my Animal Science class in Roseburg high school.The teachers had been in tears in every half full class that day. On October 1,we had a mass shooting at our local UCC college. My teacher in tears asked us to come protest this church that said they were coming to the victim's funerals to hold their hateful signs. I was so shocked that there were people like that.

Her mom called me a chubby brat during a rally. 😂😂

Just how I have felt for my entire life. What a wonderful and intelligent person! It takes a lot to come to the realization she has come to, then act upon it. It takes great courage, and a great deal of real love and caring, which is directed toward all.

I was raised in a very hypocritical environment and have struggle with my sexuality and faith for many years. this video was very powerful. thank you for sharing.

As a gay man, I find it amazing that I have went from absolutely hating this woman....to respecting her. I never would’ve thought I’d be proud of someone who used to disgust me. She gives me hope that good can always overcome evil.

She’s so genuine. You can truly feel she’s truly sorry. She gets it. God is love. Her voice is so soothing!!!!

Thank you for your immense courage to share this. Keep being curious and compassionate towards YOURSELF, your family, and others.

Thank you! This was wonderful to listen to and I'm so happy that she brings about hope in our world that appears to be engulfed in hatred and disdain for one another. God bless you. you are so brave and courageous.

She made friends by arguing on the internet? Never heard of that before.

It seems to me that her husband played a large role in pulling her from the darkness, what a lucky guy to have had the opportunity to forge such a meaningful relationship with a woman like that.

I think she has one of the most important TEDtalks I’ve ever seen

I pray with all of my heart that she will be able to reach her brothers and sisters. Cults are so extremely insulating that they may not even realize they are in one. Megan’s redemption is a beautiful story.

That was a *fantastic* speech.

"The good news is that it's simple. The bad news is that it's hard." Perfect observation.

Timesuck Podcast brought me here. I am deeply and profoundly touched by your experience and how you have articulated. Thank you.

wow this was so humbling to watch, gutted at my past attitude yet hopeful there is a way forward. she speaks with clarity, focus and truth. we're just human.

This takes courage. To wrongfully condemn your fellow human being in such horrible, public ways. Then whole-heartedly apologize to the world, stand on stage, and admit how wrong you were, and THEN teach love and encouragement. She has turned into an inspiring woman. Cheers, Megan. ♥️

i really don’t understand people who can’t forgive her. imagine being raised in that type of environment. all you’ve ever known from the moment you were born is to hate. imagine having no control over that and letting your parents shape you with their beliefs and not allowing you to form your own. the fact that she was even able to leave is astonishing to me. i know for a fact that i would not be able to muster up the strength to leave my family no matter what, but she did. and that speaks volumes about her character. “we are all a product of our upbringing and our beliefs reflect our experiences”

This woman is amazing. Everything she is saying is so true.

You are an extraordinarily courageous young woman willing to listen to others and admit when you think you are wrong. THE WORLD NEEDS SO MANY MORE YOUNG PEOPLE LIKE YOU MEGAN. May your words guide people. from🇦🇺

Wish I could have seen the look on her crazy mom's face when she announced she wanted to leave their church.

Now, this woman is what BRAVE really means. Wow.....if only a lot of people would recognize. She is a LEADER.

She is so strong. She chose to believe in humanity and leave the society she was born into. Most of us were born into societies which already had comparatively good ideologies. Choosing something over what you've known and lived as your entire life takes alot of effort, courage and strength. Everyone who goes through a learning curve like that is truly the greatest❤🔥.

God bless you and your message. You are a wonderful young woman who shows a great intelligence. I am a 63 year old man who is proud of you for fighting to learn to love and understand others. Keep loving all and forgiving those who can't that's how you were saved.

Clear communication must never be under-rated. Megan is a super communicator. Thank you!

*_I'm really proud of these comments_*

This is three years old. It is even more applicable today. We haven't been this divided as a nation in a very long time.

What a remarkable young woman. What a truly remarkable personal journey. What a talented and inspirational speaker. Best wishes moving forward in life x I wish you the very best!

I think this quote almost exactly mirrors the lesson of her insightful and eye-opening speech: "Before you assume someone else ignorant, assume that you are ignorant of that person's position."

Her voice is so soothing

Thank you for looking deeper, for checking into the inconsistent lessons you'd learned as a child. Thank you for learning hate is never the answer.

You’re forgiven by this Veteran and I also wanted to tell you that YOU are an amazing person Megan and it takes a brave individual to 1. Notice your surroundings are toxic 2. Leave the people you love because they are toxic to you. Congratulations and thank you for sharing this important story and lesson.

This lady has an amazing voice.

This is the definition of human growth. I hope some people in her congregation see this and some are smart enough to join her in growth.

Just wow. Indeed the way to heal all conflicts. Open minded, no presumptions , listening and explaining our views.

"How can we claim to love our neighbor while at the same time we are praying for God to destroy them?" OMG THIS IS SO POWERFUL