“Ignorance is bliss,” - If you do not know about something, you do not worry about it.
I had a TFMR a couple weeks ago at 22 weeks. It was a termination for medical reasons, but ignorance links it into the same category as abortion. I am not making this post to bring awareness to pro choice or pro life - because it’s deeper than that. It’s literally basic human rights.
For example, my pregnancy was a very wanted pregnancy. We had a baby shower planned, we were planning our nursery decor, we bought baby clothes. We were DEVASTATED to learn the baby was not compatible with life. Even though we wanted this baby more than anything and would have done anything to give it life, it wasn’t compatible with life. Even though my baby would not live, I still had protestors screaming that I was killing my baby. The clinic I attended had escorts to help women enter and exit, because the protestors were that aggressive.
I am so grateful I live in a state where I was able to access appropriate medical care. Even though I live in a state with appropriate access, I only felt comfortable going to a clinic with great reviews. 2nd term termination is risky and is safest when preformed by experienced doctors. The last thing any woman wants is complications. This led me to choosing an out of network clinic, not covered by insurance. The procedure was $2,200. We put it on credit. With that being said, my heart breaks for the women who sat with me in the same waiting room in tears clearly devastated AND from out of state. I can’t imagine going through such a profound loss AND having to fly out of state to have access to proper medical care. It’s ridiculous. These women not only had the financial burden of the procedure, but travel expenses as well. If that wasn’t enough, these women also had to deal with strangers protesting loudly and calling them a murderer. None of these things should happen.
Most 2nd trimester terminations are preformed on women who are losing a very wanted pregnancy, but it's not talked about. Most 2nd trimester abortions happen after a woman has her heart broken during an anatomy scan. The anatomy scan likely leads to an amniocentesis. After the invasive procedure, these women anxiously wait for answers. When they find out their baby isn’t ok, the grief is indescribable. There are THOUSANDS of these women across our country, most of them suffer silently in pain. It’s a loss to them, but to others it was a termination. There is a stigma attached to it. These women have to tread carefully and protect themselves and their stories, because sharing their story makes them susceptible to judgment. They clutch onto each other in support groups, bonding with other women who experienced the same type of pain.
Women used to suffer from postpartum depression in silence, because no one talked about it. It wasn’t until recently that postpartum depression and the mental health of women after pregnancy became a concern/acknowledged. The lawmakers in some states expect women to carry non viable babies to term without considering how traumatic that would be? Here comes postpartum depression triggered by a dramatic drop in the hormones estrogen and progesterone along with EXTREME grief of loss/ a non viable child. Losing my baby at 22 weeks has my emotional state way off balance. The hormone drop along with the loss, I am not 100 % ok. I can’t imagine how bad I would be if I was forced to carry to term.
My doctor saw multiple congenital abnormalities at a 19 week early anatomy scan. I didn’t run off to terminate just because of abnormalities. I wanted my baby to live. At that anatomy scan I had an immediate amniocentesis. I wanted to know exactly what was going on, because I wanted life for my child. While waiting for results I researched surgeries available for the congenital anomalies, desperately trying to grasp onto anything that could possibly save my baby’s life. It took 2 weeks for those results to be completed. During the 2 weeks waiting for answers my health started to dramatically decline. I was 21 weeks when I learned the baby had triploidy and was not compatible with life. This news was devastating, but also explained why my health was declining. "Unlike other common chromosomal abnormalities, triploidy may cause maternal morbidity, including preeclampsia, HELLP syndrome and OHSS," - National Institute of Health.
This diagnosis came in at 21 weeks, It took me 1 week to get scheduled for tfmr.
If I had my anatomy scan at 20 weeks, which is the norm, I wouldn’t of been scheduled for the procedure until 23 weeks. Again, this is not a pro life, pro choice argument. This is me reflecting on a situation that affected me recently. Abortion is not a “one size fits all” discussion, and certain state laws are making an already heartbreaking and painful experience, even more traumatic for thousands of women. It’s not right.
27 июл 2024
