The #1 Most Attractive Trait That Every Man Needs | Courtney Ryan 

Spot on Courtney. Integrity is also about boundaries for me. People of integrity have strong boundaries and they enforce them kindly but firmly. They also give the best of themselves and ask the best from the people in their lives.

Expecting: "Confidence" Hears: "Integrity" Finally somebody who gets it.

I listened to this twice in as many days as I was at work and finally had time to respond. I never really recognized this until my husband said to me how he never found integrity/morality and a safe sense of security in his family- seeing his mum be unfaithful to his dad for their entire relationship… then his last 2 relationships failing bc of the lack of integrity bc the women were unfaithful to him. I didn’t even think much of it until he said that I showed him and gave him peace of mind that he can now find safety and rest with me. It was hard for the first 2 yrs of our relationship bc other women didn’t show him we could be trusted. It was an uncomfortable learning experience for us both but 17 yrs later, we’re still together and our relationship has been the strongest it’s ever been! Thanks, Courtney! Your unique presence and gentle care and delivery shines through your video ♥️

Props to Courtney.I thought your answer was going to be confidence.

"Close your heart to their desperation. Close your heart to their suffering. Do not allow yourself to feel for them, they will not feel for you." - Kratos, The God Of War

My wife tells me I have an "Insane kind of integrity". Not sure what that means. For me, a lot of integrity is introspection. You have to not only know what you want and believe, but why you want and believe those things. If you don't know why you believe what you believe, you can never act on it in any meaningful manner. So I have spent a lot of time picking apart what I believe and seeing if it holds water, or still holds water. And changing what I believe if I find I am in error, no matter how deeply held the belief. It is painful. But without this, you can never be the person you want to be. In order to say what you mean, you have to mean what you say. Everything has to align, from belief, to thought, to speech, to actions. Then, keeping your promises becomes a lot easier, because you mean what you say, and believe in what you say. This introspection also defeats the ego. When you can admit, within yourself, that you were wrong about something, and you are committed to being a person that's worth a damn, it isn't a big deal to admit you are wrong on the outside. Morals, forthrightness, honesty and humility will come naturally as a consequence. So introspect, and work on yourself. Heal the past truamas. And yeah, it isn't easy. Life is seldom easy, but it is usually just that simple.

I love how real you come across. In a sea of people pretending to be "cool" it's so refreshing to come across a real and honest channel. Thank you for your videos.

Thanks Courtney Ryan. I am a 62 year old white male. After 26 years of marriage followed a couple years later by a 7 year relationship, I am starting fresh. Fresh attitude. Fresh perspective. Fresh ideas about life, love and relationships. I’ve watched a lot of relationship vlogs recently in the last few years, mostly from the MGTOW and Red Pill community but yours is the only one on relationships from the female gender I keep coming back to and typically watch as soon as it comes out. I really appreciate the perspective you share. You’ve given me some great advice and helped me out more than a few times when I’ve gone on a date. Take care and as many hundreds of men have already said, ‘thank you!’

*My Top 5 (no gay)* - Authenticity - Ambition/vision & life goals - Healthy lifestyle - Hygiene - Stable emotions

"Who are you when nobody is watching?" That is a great question and gives me a lot to think about when I will introduce myself to a woman. Great video as always. 👍🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

I'm actually glad you chose Integrity as the number 1 value besides Confidence. This is what ALL women should not seek in a man but also strive to have themselves. I also value Integrity a lot because I love my alone time and I always try to strive to get/refine the values/morals you've listed. Unfortunately, not alot of Men and Women value Integrity as much now-a-days so those that do are rare gems and should be careful the kind of people they associate with or hangout and of course be careful what kind of content a person should consume. Self-Respect and Boundaries are a big one as well.

Courtney, As an older man who started to watch your videos for style advice I agree wholeheartedly with your words of wisdom. Younger men if you've ever wondered what feature or trait is the most attractive to anyone male or female it is this. I've often said to my own sons "without integrity you have nothing."

Proverbs 10:9 - "Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out." ESV

This encouraing video is a breath of fresh air in a world where ethics and morals have sunken to the deepest depths of depravity. Thank you Courtney for fearlessly bucking the tide by raising the bar.

I used to, when I was younger, look for men that I could look up to. I found out that all the men I looked up to had no integrity. Eventually, I realized that I’m the hero I was looking for the entire time. I was listening to you speak and I was saying to myself, wow, I actually check all these boxes. And it’s a great reminder to continue doing what you’re doing if what you’re doing is living a life filled with integrity. Thank you, again, Ms. Ryan, for sharing your thoughts. I always leave feeling happier. For sure.

#1 - immaculate cuticles.

Thanks for your insight Courtney! I’m definitely guilty of overreacting to things in the moment that frustrate me. A good way to know if your integrity is improving is seeing how quickly you reflect on that experience. Does the guilt hit you immediately when you do or say something that you know was wrong? Honesty and kindness unfortunately don’t come natural to a lot of people these days

So true. I learned this early on from one of my heroes: my father (mom’s the other hero). In order to maintain integrity, you must first know what your principles are. If you do not know what your principles are, it’s not that you don’t have any; it’s that you are blindly following someone else’s, or whatever new thing comes along. When you become scattered about like this, you are now dis- integrating like a rickety building collapsing in on itself because it was built with weak beams on a soft foundation.

Wow i wasn't expecting integrity to be the one trait but after watching all your videos; it definitely lines up with what makes a man a true person of value. Your explanation of it makes it easy to understand and to apply to my life. I will say you embody that word too Courtney. Im proud of your growth as a lady and success here. Have a lovely day ♥️🎖

As an autistic person (and human being 😅)… This is something that I strive for everyday! 😌🙌🏻💯

Just glad to see these qualities being noticed tbh. I'm a bit older and hold on to certain principles in life, and it's just nice to see some, even if not too many notice, and appreciate that. It's not done to get praise, but it's still nice if appreciated. Much of the advice here on the channel should be taken by ppl twice your age, still acting like it's high school.

100 % agree and can get on board with this. If I can attest to anything that has made the most positive changes all around in my life is choosing to have integrity across the board. For one, it stops the inner dialect and 2nd guessing yourself and decisions you've made and also bears good fruit that you can look back on and see measurable results because of it. And as you stated, being positive and being the bigger person in situations of conflict will never be a bad choice. Much Love :)

I honesty put a playlist of her while I go to sleep her voice is so claiming

So glad I subscribed to your channel. You're honest, humble and positive and I like that. Your advice has been very helpful and positive. Keep up the good work

I wish there were more women like you Courtney. Feminine, gentle yet strong, and beautiful, inside and out. That is very hard to find today, especially in my 40's after women are beaten down and jaded from past experiences. I fully agree, integrity is crucial. It has to be woven into who you are, a part of your everyday life.

I mostly watch channel for dating/relationship advice. But I like how it's going in the direction of just being a better person in general/best version of one's self.

Having integrity to me is being accountable to principles that transcend self. Also, leading a quiet and simple life giving thanks to the provisions given daily help to keep your mind clear and your spirit pure. Great video Courtney. I'm 67 years old and have been married 40 years and I enjoy my children and grandchildren. I am truly a blessed man because the Great I am defines my destiny.

Very solid advice Courtney. Integrity is a beautiful characteristic not just for men but everyone. This world is would be so much better if everyone had integrity.

I thought the Answer was going to be Kindness - but Integrity wraps it all up perfectly. Well done!! I've been told by many that I'm very Authentic and Honest, to a fault I think though. I'm unapologetically me, I over share, I talk to much, I tend to let my Emotions run me a little bit. I'm flawed, but.. I'm also still learning and working on myself to find a better balance of it all.

So grateful all the qualities you mentioned as components of integrity, I do have (saying it with humility); proud of myself and super grateful. Sending you infinite support, compassion!

Good points. I'd like to see more more ladies take this advice to heart also. That's not a dig but rather an observation that I think has to do with how society often gives women a pass when it comes to these things more so than men.

Ms. Courtney, Integrity is one of my favorite words. You said a man of integrity admits when he is wrong because he is a “nice guy”. I don’t agree with the “nice guy title”, I agree with other quality traits on your list but not this one. A “nice guy” is a pushover that doesn’t standup for himself or others. A man (gentleman) knows who he is and can put someone in there place if need to and stands up to defend himself and others. He has strength of character. He does what is morally correct no matter what others think.

Courtney - I appreciate the time you put in and the knowledge you are dropping. A lot of what you say and suggest are things I am already doing, so it's a great reinforcement. This multi colored top is fantastic and I love how you keep one side of your hair exposing an ear with the double loops. Your style is tres magnifique!

The reluctance of some people to admit being wrong is such a pivotal one. You can instantly tell if someone genuinely cares about their intellectual growth, or if their only concern is winning by scoring social brownie points. People that are so rigid in their beliefs that they outright refuse to accept being wrong even when faced with new evidence are usually super egotistical and narcissistic. You can provide them with a million different counter points to their position and their kneejerk reaction will be to dismiss them so that they can save face.

Wow. I was expecting it to be confidence but I was pleasantly surprised. I think you’re exactly right about the importance of integrity. It’s definitely something I need to work on.

You are a true friend courtney You just bring up the valuable and right content on right time ❤❤❤

This video was helpful this video taught me that whatever energy you give to other people your gonna received that same energy back and people talk about you you just stay silent and continue to work on your purpose because success is the greatest revenge

This something I didn't have ..years ago..but now I'm totally have a different mindset ..you change what's important to you and realize what you have. Lately I been fixated with word CHOICE ..I woke up to the fact everything is not about me ..love this video ..and all your post ..thank you .stay well be safe ❤

I love to just relax, close my eyes, lay back, and enjoy every second I spend under your learning tree. TY.😊

The timing on these videos coincides with current status of my life and I’m thankful.

Courtney: “who are you when nobody is looking?” Me: *flashback to myself doing the Risky Business Tom cruise dance all over my house while I dust and clean dishes* 😳

'who are you when no one is watching?'--i love this sentence, thanks

I feel so positive when I watch your videos, Thankyou Courtney. ❤️ 😀

Totally thought it was going to be confidence lol, but I’m glad you chose integrity. Come to think of it, a man of integrity will have natural confidence by default. This video was another home run, Courtney. Can’t wait for the livestream!

My dad always said “your word is your bond.” Thank you Courtney for making this video

Courtney is always looking out for us❤️

Could you do more videos like these. I really liked this. There are not a lot of videos that really talk about integrity. Also it'd be nice to see a roundtable of character traits that people find worthy in dating with the people you usually interview. Great video!

Good video as always Courtney. Now we expect high quality with each one, but you got this. I have faith you can deliver.

Favorite video of yours! Out of all those great ones this is a great lesson and a great reminder!

Interesting vlog Courtney. Been able to stay a man of integrity, when other people around you are not is the true test of been a person of integrity.

To go along with this, I'm making it a point to be fully authentic with myself and others

Confidence and humbleness

I agree 110% I’ve developed integrity over the past twenty years it’s not always easy I’ve argued with myself and felt bad when I’m not ..I like your channel thanks for being you it’s good 👍😊

I love what you say about integrity i’m 18 about to be 19 and I’ve spent the last six years of my teenage life in a youth prison but one of the biggest things that got me out was integrity most people fake it to make it but they never actually change their life they did the right thing in front of the guards and cameras but behind the scenes were doing things that they weren’t supposed to do how I got out was I started off the same way but realized the only way I’ll be able to get out and stay out was doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do most of the time I don’t get along with people my age I only get along with people that are a lot older than me I want to be the best me that I can be and help anyone else be the best them that they can be I look at the world in a different perspective compared to most people my age i’m judged by a lot of people because of my criminal background people think that people who are criminals are automatically horrible people and can’t be changed even though that it is harder for other people to change and some people just don’t grow up there are a lot of people who can change and actually do change I am actually legally blind and love playing chess iamb a really nice person and love being productive I am hard-working and love to help people but as soon as someone hears that I’ve been to jail none of those things matter but I have feelings just like the next person I love that you talk about loving your self but once that step is completed the next step is to love the next person for everything that they are because no one is perfect we all fall down but it’s not how hard you fall but how you pick yourself back up and keep going

I want you to know. I don't skip the ads. Only for you Ms. Ryan!

Thank you. It was by far one of your best videos. Although it takes a lot of effort to internalize integrity, it will pay off in the end and will bring peace and build trust as you truly said.

Congrats on 200K mate o/ You are killing it! Keep it up Courtney 🙌

First of all I have to say that I fancy your English speaking. On the integrity I could say that it is tough to be a man of integrity. We are all born with different character traits and flaws. It is possible to cultivate this trait starting from the younger age. In today's fast changing world, I think we have to be a bit flexible. Life is hard. I wish I could have been a man of integrity. Your words inspire me toward being a man of integrity. Cheers to you! You rock!

Wow! I was not expecting this Courtney. But you are definitely right on! Loved, loved this video! Such an important character trait! ♥️♥️♥️

I really enjoyed this message Courtney. I was surprised, but pleasantly. It’s the way I like to live. With integrity. I think it can be subjective in some cases depending your beliefs. But treating people right I feel is the key.

Courney I do realy love listening to your voice, advices and everything you are describing to us in order to help us understand women more and mainly to understand ourselves too. I appriciate your kind positive words and non-manipulative approach that helps me to be a better man. Much love ❤

Courtney, you did a fantastic job on this. Thank you.

This is how I live my life despite being offered “easy” job offers. I’d rather find a job with fulfillment. When it comes to relationships, I’m definitely picky with who I want to be friends with. I’m always genuine and factual in my conversations and most can’t handle it.

Hey, Courtney! In my opinion integrity is someone who is born with a value character, but you can learn an education, but you can’t learn value characters. No matter women or men the values are something you bone with it. Thanks always for bringing up useful topics.

Thank you for good advises. I was married, had two daughters. after 10 years of marriage, no intimacy anymore, i was the worst kind of a father, i used to hear. i was thoroughly nervous, stressed and shouting too. Aged 52 i shouted to my daughter for no reason, i really wanted to change. I found books about keto diet which gave the advice to keep grains out of diet for 8 weeks and take butter instead. Taking butter felt like suicide but i did it. It changed me totally, i have not shouted to anybody, got peace of mind, my sight got better, butter did not kill me after all. Now i am 60, healthier than ever, i am in carnivore diet.

Hey Courtney, nice video thanks! I don't entirely agree on point 3 though, because it can be very difficult to not blow up for instance if you see or feel injustice happening, actually because one has a lot of integrity. I really like how respectful you speak about people and different opinions!

Courtney, you are doing great work for humanity. Keep it up ! And thank you

When nobody's watching or when somebody's watching, I'm always dancing... only when nobody's watching my dance moves are perfect.

Great, great, GREAT video!!! 100% Accurate!! Integrity has to be practiced and maintained daily. It isn't easy sometimes but it is worth the effort.🙏

I had a lecture tell us about integrity. It’s pretty important in my profession (accountancy). He described it as “Honesty under pressure”.

This is straight facts. Guy have to learning how to be 💯 with themselves whether around people or not. Authenticity is the way forward.

Honestly, she's been spot on every time. I really get such advice only here.

Great video Courtney! Love your work and all you do for us! That top looks great on you too! 😊

Excellent video. Very wise and solid advice and observation. Nothing else matters when character is lacking. A man of integrity is comfortable in his own skin and a consistent and reliable partner. As you said at the outset, integrity is the most important thing.

I love her energy and the way that nice blue dress goes with her amazing blue eyes 👍🏼

A subnote about apologies is that it is only a means to an end, that is, the end of correcting a mistake and rebuilding a relationship.

Spot on! Thank you. What puzzles me is how I can show integrity when what I say in 'man speak' is misinterpreted by a woman. Some women will ask questions. Other women simply decide they understood me and based on what they think I said and did they decide I have no integrity. And yes, part of it is my failure to communicate clearly try though I might. Such is life.

Really appreciate the time and focus you put into this video really spoke to me 👊🏿

I have never had a problem with my integrity. My parents had it and raised me. Which made my time in the USMC very excellent. But showing someone that you are trustworthy and honest takes time. Most women don't want to give you time.

Great advice! I could Listen to Courtney’s advice all day! 👍

Well-stated, Courtney! I completely agree as integrity applies in all facets of life.

As always very important positive words from you Courtney, THANK YOU !!

I do all of these things exactly like she described, I am one of the most positive people you will ever meet. If someone is being mean to me I have reached the confidence to not care what anyone thinks and need only self validation. So if someone is being mean to me I actually refuse to let their behavior change my core self and who I know myself be which is treat everyone with respect and be nice and this mean person means nothing to me and neither does their opinion. I realized I don't have understand why their upset, why they are taking it out on me, if I did something wrong to them, and I don't have to worry about them having an actual valid reason because there is no valid reason to be an asshole to someone. NONE of their issues are my problem, if they are being total assholes and insulting me it doesn't make me mad because none of it is true and its meant to hurt me but none of what they say means anything to me or has any effect whatsoever on my life. I honestly kinda feel sorry for them because letting things make you sad and mad and lash out at people and destroy a happy state of mind that is absolutely horrible and toxic to you and so difficult to be in. Basically if you let anyone you don't know or even friends have the power over you to change you into a negative sad state and also reacting negatively to them in retaliation brings you into a negative angry type of mood. You over think things, you interpret things you hear or situations in completely the world is out to get you interpretation and none of it actually was anything bad in the first place. So I refuse to let some situation or person actually have the power over me to change my natural state of happy and positive and making people laugh and I improve the mood of everyone around all the time. I am an Empath and my positivity is super contagious.. If someone is being mean to you or something, its up to you to realize their bullshit doesn't actually matter to you in any way or that you need to react back and defend yourself against their words they aren't true and meant to make you upset. Guess what happens when you care so little about them and their words mean so little to you that you don't even need to say mean things back or get mad at them or feel like you need to understand why they are doing it. When you don't react to their bullshit it literally puts everything in perspective immediately, their whole plan to be mean to you and make you upset is doing absolutely nothing. Then its actually hard for someone to maintain that level of aggression when the person is not getting mad because it just makes them look crazy even to themselves. The funny thing is that since I take this non reactive nice and not mean and never insult people because I don't see the point, I don't actually need to make someone else feel bad even if they are being mean to me, I get no satisfaction at all from that. Anyways even if there is a legitimate reason to be really sad and angry like your friend did something bad, it is important to protect your state of mind from letting yourself be too negatively effected so much that you are hurting and depressed and now all you can do is dwell in that terrible state of mind. You need to stay happy and in a positive state of mind because then you can actually deal with the issue and solve it and be productive and deal with the problem in a healthy rational way.

Thank you Courtney for your inspiring video. You have reminded me that I need to get back on course. You are a very good person. Integrity.

One part of integrity I need to work on is forgiving those who believe they can say mean things behind your back or online and not face any consequences. It's the _unfairness_ from some people I can't stand! I live my day being kind and honest to others and I'm in disbelief as to why/how on earth people can treat others with such nastiness when I would never think of doing that. But the unfairness of it makes me dream up scenarios where I confront them and tell them just what I think of their actions so that they get their just-deserts. Except I know that it's not the way and will only make myself feel worse when I don't get the response or reaction I imagined. I need to work on finding ways to rise above it and not get vengeful on those who have (for want of a better word) "trespassed against us". I know that rising above it is the appropriate response and one that has long-term benefits. It's just very frustrating sometimes because on the one hand, you don't want them to take up space in your mind or think they've succeeded in influencing and convincing others with their lies but on the other hand, you don't want the b**tards to carry on thinking they can get away with it! I thought I had total integrity but, after watching your video, it appears I haven't quite reached it yet. Humbling, but one that makes sense. But how is one assured that bullies will learn about the consequences from their verbal actions?

So many “men” need to hear this message & internalize it💯

I'm just getting to know a lady. This is perfect timing. Many blessings to you

“Compromise where you can. Where you can’t, don’t. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, look them in the eye, and tell the whole world, ‘No, you move’.” -Captain America: Civil War

Honestly, just stop chasing and trying to impress women in general and focus on bettering yourself. You’ll be way happier in the long run and your life will be better.

I like your way of discussing important points of view and subjects....really good job!

Thank you for your inspiration Courtney!

There is enough hate to go around, you're awesome for always aiming up Courtney.

It's confidence as the number one.

Only watching her videos for her soothing voice alone is totally worth it

Another good video. We all need a friend like you in our lives. I've also heard that you are the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Best video ever not only on this channel , ever on RU-vid. This is content what exactly people looking for strong relationship thank you Courney hope you read this and pass a sign that you noticed it.

What an important message. I’ve been successful in life in many areas of my life. However the one thing I have struggled at times is keeping my cool. Being calm and collected. Example I get upset if someone cuts me off. I am working on this and trying to manage emotions. There are a number of literary documents out there. Just wanted to share. If you struggle with this please work on yourself. It is probably the number one reason why I am divorced after 23yrs of marriage. I played my part and accountable for my actions.

Thank you Courtney. What a powerful video! It's so comforting and good, to hear this spoken out loud for once. Sometimes it feels to me like integrity in general is short on supply and hard to find. Dare I say at times it feels to me like we live in a world full of vanity. And I include myself in this. But I don't want to be superficial/vain, because I know there is power in truth and integrity ultimately is based on being truthful, as you said. One question though: I'm curious what exactly you meant at the end, when you said "I guarantee to you, there is always someone watching" ? Genuine question. Greetings from Germany

Excellent advice Courtney thanks again.

Thanks for understanding the value of this instead of condescendingly calling it the "bare minimum"