@@ileensosa4406 Exactly.. No benefits to dating a women with kids. Its dangerous and the man will never be number 1 but the woman wants to be number 1 to you. The IRONY!!!! I agree and even if you dont have a family already then you can make your own.
I dated a single mom once and was at a work function (we worked together). Her kid was annoying some of my coworkers by running through them, bumping into them and just being a general nuisance. She saw what a pain he was being and did nothing about it. I asked the kid to stop and my girlfriend pulled me aside to rip me a new a**hole for disciplining her child. Later on that day he was playing on some rocks and fell hurting himself pretty badly. She then ripped me another a**hole for not stopping him. I broke it off soon after and never dealt with single mothers again. Too much trouble
I agree with you, I've dated single fathers and have gone through similar experiences expected to be a mother figure cook and clean for them and as long as I'm praising and uplifting the child things were good but as soon as I say no or try to correct them verbally I would get you're not their mom. Never again with single dads for me.
As a woman i am not angry with any man who refuse to date single mothers. Men have a right to their preference. Its some kind of entitlement to ask a man to be ' the man of the house' but your children ( who's not his) is out of limits. He must house them, feed them, protect them but can't discipline them? Thats a senseless woman and no self respecting man will sign up for this BS.
Only single mother that I ever dated in my life had a really good conversation with me when things were getting serious. The conversation was about the child. I told her that a mother and child was a package deal. If I was going to be the husband and dad in this, that I was going to be the husband and the dad in this. We've been married over 29 years and we have raised two wonderful young men. They aren't perfect just like me. They do however get out of bed everyday and work to support themselves and their families. The child that I was referring to last week while we were all out to dinner celebrating his brother's 25th birthday, well he slipped away and paid for everything before the dinner was over. He said it was his way to say thank you.
@@professionalpookiemay I suggest hooked on phonics for your reading difficulties or perhaps some Adderall for your lack of attention span. 🤔 Possibly both
Yeah that sounds good but you have other men online literally telling men not to marry because it's a scam.and to sleep around til the early dawn.... you where the issue lies, to many men are giving out different messages and that don't lead men as a group into a positive direction.
@@MicsteriousA1 indeed when ppl marry with responsibility they leave behind insurance, ssi & pension etc… So the living spouse will have financial support and not need for the next spouse to take on that responsibility😇
💯 true. I had married men tell me that and all I can do is say okay. And one told me how he was disciplining a child and it could have landed him in jail bc you being a man need to control your anger bc there are laws that protect kids. Like when we was little we got popped in the mouth at the store. Now a days you can’t even say anything bc it could be verbal abuse. If it’s not your child I would just let the parent handle it and go somewhere to mind my business.
Guys, I went through this as a stepfather. My Ex Stepson tried to buck up at me when he was a teenager. I checked him real quick. His father call talking $#!+. I told him ok. Give me your address and I will ship him to you. "Crickets- Crickets" He was silent after that. Guys DO NOT date and definitely DO NOT marry a single mother.. Not worth it!!!
12 years ain’t no bait n switch my guy. I bet it was u who was begging her. U were of a no use to her after her kids became self sufficient 🤣🤣. Thanks for ur service my g. Single moms need more men like u
I disagree bc many women in the past got over this. Yes it’s biologically but if you respect the man and understand his role, then it’s needed. Plus men and women have a different struggle. A woman can easily get taken of while a man need to learn to take care
Here something else to ask. Ladies stop saying your kids done need a father if he’s not in the home. If that bf, dad, bff, fwb ran out of the house during a break in and your kids died you will hate that man!!! So at the least have you and kids respect him. Bc women and kids are a first target in bad scenario!!!
My stepfather is amazing. He took us on and continues to treat us as his own. Thats b/c my mother allowed him to do so. To the haters: #1: A man that married a woman with children doesn't do so, b/c he has 'no other options ". Y'all have to stop with this narrative that men or women who take on a spouse with children is somehow just desperate and willing to settle for anyone or anything. It's the hardest thing in the world to bring a blended family together and make them one. It takes a special kind of love and respect to care for children that aren't biologically yours. #2: YES! "Allowed"... him to be a parent in every way. You can't ask someone to take on your child or children, be responsible for them financially, physically and emotionally then, turn around and demand that they don't discipline them. It doesn't work. So yes! The biological parent MUST ALLOW the new spouse/stepparent to be a parent in every way. In my case, my father passed when I was 9yrs old so, there wasn't another parent to challenge my step dad. However, if the other parent is still living and involved then, both biological parents have to agree about what role the stepparent will play. They still have to allow that person to be a parent to their kids 3: A woman who won't allow her spouse to be a parent to her kids but, wants them to be financially responsible...isn't looking for a husband/father. She's looking for a bank account. A man who allows the women in his life to dictate the type of father he is to his children is a Simp. There's no way in hell a real father is going to allow anyone to dictate the when, where, how and why of his parenting. 4: It's one thing to have multiple kids with multiple partners and then expect to find someone that will take them on. It's completely different to deal with a person who has divorced or is widowed and has kids. Just because the relationship that produced your kids didn't work doesn't mean you don't deserve another relationship or your kids don't deserve the love and support of another parent. 5: Almost a third of the Black community is under 30 and we have whole generations that are practically missing when you compare the numbers to other ethnicities. If you continue to shame people for taking on spouses w/kids, you are basically condemning us to remaining a broken culture. Children don't thrive without support and stability. If you continue to shame those who are willing to love and support kids they didn't make. Then you are also preventing those children from having stable 2 parent households that their biological parents clearly weren't capable of providing.
Exactly!!! your mother allowed him to do so… is the key sentence it’s always the mothers fault when the children r disrespectful to a stepfather n then act like she is surprised but she is really the1 that planted the seeds of hate for a innocent step father privately in the children minds,although the biological father been MIA,n sometimes she doesn’t want the children to c her loving another man besides there father because she already told them she will never leave there father we will always b a family n she will always love there father forever now they c her with a new man,it really sounds bad but w*men need to stfu!!! that hole in there faces leaves a trail of chaos n destruction to everything she touches not even them kids know who there daddy is when she pass through
@@andrealustig3547 what a silly analogy from both of you. You would spend that 100 and not care about it and then it’s gone you don’t keep it because you only wanna use it for it’s worth and get rid of it asap, but it’s not a good hundred. 🙄🥴 (basically sleep with the woman and move on she’s worth the sex but not worth keeping around because she’s not as good as others) So as the men have said. Single mothers are fun to use but not to keep. It sounds bad but if you were in their position you would think and act the same. It really is a bad deal taking it on. I can’t see why women have such a hard time seeing it. A better analogy is maintaining your next door neighbours car and they drive it badly. Pure expensive and headache for you with no benefit.
This is one reason why it didn't work with my ex. Didn't wanna discipline that damn kid. Then I found Kevin Samuels right after I ended it. Perfect timing.
@@user-vx7vc3me3c that is such a weird assumption. I have been a monogamous married man since I was 21 years old. Just because your father was irresponsible and didn't love you, doesn't mean all fathers are the same. My point still stands. Single mothers have almost zero value.
I can't relate. There's another side to this story. I been married to my wife for over 22 years and my daughter was 4 years old when I met her mother. My wife never got in between and stopping from leading the house. My wife trust me. If a woman won't allow you to teach or correct her child she don't trust you and you should never be in a trustless relationship.
Same situation same age when we met. I am dad thats that. If I wasn't id be out. It ain't her fault he split. Some people start out good and become useless. Id choose it the same to do it again. Kids need fathers and two parent homes.
I was dating a woman and she wanted me to help with her son as for getting him to listen and just mind. He was dozing off and I told him to go lay in his bed so he started crying and she ran in the living room and got sassy and wanted to k ow what I said/did to her son. I was like nah I ain’t with this shit!
I dated a SM once and all I did was tell her son to stop disturbing the other guests at a work function. He was running through people, screaming etc thinking it was cute because her family encouraged it. She tore me new one for “disciplining her child”. Ended it soon after
.I agree AS A CHILDLES MAN Never again i was not allowed to.discipline her kids and she let.them ruin my car seats and apartment and she said nothing to them and when i did she screamed at me saying "youre not their father".i dumped her on the spot Never again. EVER
No because I'm the provider n my son will listen to my girlfriend because I say so...do not compare single fathers to single moms..men n women are not the same
Nah people should date who they want. It’s different with a single father cause most times the woman doesn’t have to step in and financially take care of that child.
@@nathankomosa8928 you are such a typical selfish single father. I’ve dated single dad’s lol why the hell would I want to be second when I can come first to a man who doesn’t have kids? You’re a parent regardless of your gender and your finances will ALWAYS be tied up with your kid because you’re a parent. (Finances, time, resources etc will always be tied up) You’re selfish and pathetic! The fact that a single and childfree woman has to explain this to you… I feel sorry for your son. Stick to dating single moms. You’ll save bundles together and can go on family trips with each other. Plus you all can go back to school shopping together and save money. 🤣🤣🤣
@@emayan06 I’m saying this as someone who’s dated single dads. It really isn’t any different. It’s the exact same and or sometimes worse. You can go ahead and date whoever you want, but nope. I stand 100 toes down on single and childfree women SHOULD NOT DATE SINGLE DADS.
My dad actually ran into this situation with my stepmom for a long time. My stepsister was young like really young and grew up to be a real brat for a while and my dad was never allowed to set rules or punishments or anything because "that's not your daughter" but it was his daughter when he was needed to provide support or money or anything like that. I can definitely see why men would avoid single mothers with all these cautionary tales
@@jnrrobinson5989because males like that lie about the the number of children they have and it easy for them to do because the children are usually in the custody of mom.
@@williampresley4945 wow ur name are the same in reverse but very tru, times are changing rapidly. And men are realizing there time and resources are valuable.
I know that situation. I dated a single mother of 2 for about 2-3 years. I was one of the only male father figures they had. They were 1 & 3 when we started dating. When we broke up, it's like you break up with the kids, too, and they don't understand the situation. I worked security at the health center, & the daughter (now 5 at the time) came I'm for immunizations. She ran to my desk, all happy to see me. She showed me she started learning how to write her name, then she asked me why I didn't come around anymore and asked was I mad at her. She promised to treat her little brother nicer if it would make me proud of her and come back & stay with them. I had to leave my post & collect myself after that. It was heartbreaking.
You keep the relationship separate until you believe it's gonna be long term and you agree on general parenting. Then if you trust him with you and your life trust him to be a father.
It's not that simple there's another important party is the biological father, I'll pas. Men stepping in taking care of another man's responsibility is part of the reason woman feel so comfortable being a part of the present babymama culture. They even had a "stepdaddy season" hashtag last year
Brother you told nothing but the truth..I tried to date a single mom with 2 young kids! Never again..horrible experience..one day I was sitting there thinking 🤔..what the hell I’m doing..
All single moms aren't like that. In my experience being a step dad, me & my stepson got along great. The mom never went the 'that's MY baby' route. He never said 'u ain't my daddy' either(bcuz I met his mom when he was a preteen). It CAN work but she HAS to have ur back when it comes to discipline.
I’ve done the step father thing and I dealt with the same thing for many years. I don’t recommend it. All things including how kids felt to precedence over me and my thoughts. After years I stopped giving my opinions and taking on any types of responsibility. She had it easy when I was involved now she does all by her self. Don’t do it fellas.
I've never dated a single mother before. Just by reading your comment, i can discern your pain. I actually believe you... It's a no no hell no for me...
Damn damn damn (Martin Lawrence voice) recently met this chick with 4 kids. Nice phat ass pretty AF. First time smashing she tried to go raw dog I screamed like Dave Chappelle 🤣🤣🤣 was like oh Sh!t she trying to trap my ass
I went through this a step father and then I came to a realization thanks to Pastor Stephen Darby. I am a man and I will discipline children I provide for. As long as I don’t abuse them
I don’t know why, but for the longest I had the thought I’d end up marrying a mother with a child, I just had sympathy for a single mother. Praise God it didn’t happen!!!! Now I’m a married man to a childless woman and we about to have OUR first child 😁
It’s the savior complex. A lot of us have it. Single moms love to say “I don’t need a man. I’m strong and independent”. Then reality strikes and these women can’t even change a light bulb. Not only do you have to be the man of the house and provide you have to take care of some other man’s offspring.
@@BlackNerdist We Won't! But if it were t happen we both share custody of the son... she won't have greater custody, unless she decides she's going to lie about me.
I dated a single mother of 3, two girls and a boy that was back in 97 the boy was hardheaded as hell but it all changed when I whooped his ass his mom couldn't say nothing. His mom and I been married now for 23 years now that boy that I beat loves me dearly he's 37yrs old now he calls me his dad
This is how I feel about dating a man with a child. I’m currently experiencing this and also the mother has a problem as well and I’m completely starting to be over it!
as a young man I advise you to leave, leave that man and go date a childless partner like you. just be happy that man didn't demand financial contribution and material contributions like how some Baby mama's demand that from man cause they are a "package deal"
Dated a single mom for a month and i dodged a huge bullet... The baggage and trauma she projected on me daily was sickening... The first time I also got a dose of feminism and how it caused massive brain rot. Protect your peace at all times kings.
That’s not every man, some men don’t mind embracing that stepdad role. It’s the mother who has to agree with that, you can’t have a man with no authority over your child. At some point there needs to be trust that I’m the man and I’m here for everybody to succeed.
Wise choice. You didn't need to be dealing with any children you got life to live planes to catch etc etc etc. Men like this are tired and can't keep their hands to themselves and pick the type of women they have to leave, more time lying to young girls. Beware of ppl with no wisdom but plenty judgement. Stay safe 💖
When you love your child you’re grateful and happy to have as many people love him and try to steer him right as possible. You also do your best to keep the family in tact. A lot of women are selfish.
@Stop Simping T.V Thank you there’s more of me popping up everyday The tide is turning. We’re sick of the 304’s and fem 🐖 making our men so miserable. A lot of women understand that we need you more than you need us. And we’re getting louder and louder, we’re not afraid of the mob of angry 🐖s anymore. We want family values and a healthy society again. They can all go to an island and live with the simps! Ha!
@@aishajohnson3536 Most women if you are fighting with them or having a bad fight which happens the baby daddy is right there to comfort her and blow her back out
First off, dude should not move into her place right off the bat. Second, take time to get to know her and her child before you think about moving in. Third, while you’re getting to know each other, be having conversations about disciplining her child. Fourth, “man of the house” doesn’t mean king of the castle, dictator, boss or tyrant. Fifth, before you assume responsibility for her child, be taking care of your own.
There’s something called communication. When dating a single parent you need to discuss as adults and establish boundaries when it comes to discipline, finances, etc. There should not be a double standard if both parties value and respect each other.
@@snowfrosty1 I have to disagree with you on that. I personally know very nice ladies who are single moms, they’re good people, financially independent and in good shape and they actually don’t even date anymore because of the stereotypes men insist on putting on them. For your information, there are a lot of irresponsible men out there who despite being in their 30s, 40s, 50s, just want to treat women like objects and go around spreading hate because these types of women see into their game and don’t give them the time to the day. It’s really sad, though, because men and women complement each other and life is better with a partner.
Nah snowfrosty is right. Single mothers generally have personality disorders or are toxic and make awful decisions thus why they are single mothers. Unless the woman is a widow or got out of a marriage; the rest are toxic
This what I don’t understand when men are saying this or giving their past experiences of dating single mothers… First off, if you are in the dating stage with that woman why are her children being brought around you? You as a MAN should be questioning that, you need to be vetting that woman’s character. Especially, if you know you’re not going to be taking her serious. Women with children don’t bring your child around this man if this a random you are just “kicking it” with. Secondly, he should not be moving in WITH YOU! Why is a grown man moving in with YOU?? If you two have established that marriage is the final step, and you get MARRIED then you two move in together. Not as boyfriend/girlfriend! Also, be sure to vet these men before you even think about bringing your child around. You don’t want to be bringing different men around children or in your house, period. And when the time is appropriate for you to introduce your child to that man WATCH how that man builds rapport with your child, how he handles your child, is the man comfortable being around your child? Is your child comfortable being around this man?? As a single mother, the dating game is not the same for us. We have to be even more strategic and discerning when we date. There is a process to this type of dating. Most men NOT all see single mothers as a “good time” to have sex with. Don’t get caught up! Be strategic and intentional when dating as a single mom. ✨✨
You give some good advice. I personally don’t date single moms because I have no kids and it wouldn’t make sense but it’s been many times I’ve seen women try to use sex as a way to convince a man to like them and that makes it easy for that man to use them 🤦🏿♂️
My stepfather was a great man. I had no problem calling him my father in front of my biological father. Not all single women are that way. Men just need to choose accordingly. Both sides need to be held accountable. My mother was my father and had her own, didn't expect any man to come and do anything but love her family unconditionally. She had things covered from front to back and that's the double truth Ruth. My stepfather didn't have to punish us for the simple fact, my mom's raised my siblings and I in a certain way. With that being said, men pay more attention to how the kids treat their mother before you commit.
@@titoazua3120 Believe it not, I am one of those women. When my marriage broke up, because of abuse and infidelity, I took the full responsibility for taking care of my children. I let the man know that everything was on when you walked in here and will be when you leave. I also raised my children to respect themselves well as the man. If more men or women took responsibility for their own that they helped bring into this world , it would be a lot easier . Every situation has their different set of circumstances. Single parenting most of the time not the first choice. Man or woman we want what's best for our children. Just remember, if you want someone to help you, give them respect as well as your children. If not, man or woman leave. I would.
Well if it’s HER family.., and SHE had everything covered.. that sounds like all about her. I hear ONLY TRUE RESPECT for your mother, you just made your stepfather sound like one of her children and not a man. If your mom raised you a certain way .., then she DONT NEED NO MAN to take on all that baggage from ANOTHER MANS SEED AND FAMILY! She got it all held down??? Well she needs to keep it all to herself then.., because although your comment sounds good on the surface.., when you actually examine it.., all I see is .. YOU SIR, MR STEPDAD, are the OUTSIDER IN OUR FAMILY.., as long as you never interfere with OUR FAMILY, or EVER BUT INTO OUR BUSINESS AND FAMILY DYNAMIC.., then we cool… we don’t need your input as a man.., we don’t need your voice as a man.. my mama got this .. so you do what my mama instructs you to do.. and that only.. and everything will be good!!! SON.. your MAMA IS THE MAN not your stepdad… thats what I heard in your comment!!! Yes your stepfather was a great man.. and he sounds like a man that should have found him a single woman with NO CHILDREN so he could have his own children and own family.., because you made it very clear.., you and your family belong to your mother..,not to him.., and that good man should have been raising HIS OWN FAMILY AND HIS OWN CHILDREN.. and not some other man’s family..
It doesn't matter. My step kids were good kids. But as soon as it didn't work out with mom, it's like the 8 years of being a father to them didn't happen. They act like they don't even know you. It's just not worth it single men. Avoid baby mothers. Lol
In the beginning stages of dating YOU shouldn’t even be bringing your child around a random that you know it won’t lead to anything serious i.e marriage. When you have a child and you are dating you have to move differently and be more strategic about what you are doing. You should be dating with intentions and purpose. I will not be bringing my son around a dude I know might not take me serious or I won’t be taking him serious. Vet these men before you bring an innocent child into the picture. Many men will play it off and say “I don’t mind dating a woman with a kid(s)” but in the back of their mind they know they are just dating her to have sex they look at her as a “good” time. Don’t get caught up. Be transparent with your situation and communicate what you are looking for and how you are dating with the purpose of marriage in the end IF that’s something you want. Otherwise, if not leave yo kids out of the situation. Have a good time and that’s that.
Y’all be finding these complicated ass people I swear. 😂I’m a single mother and my husband was a single father when we met, boundaries were set, no secrets withheld, we established what we wanted for each other, our kids became the best of friends and neither side had drama when entering the relationship. We got married, had kids of our own and got 12 years in. It doesn’t have to be complicated, y’all attract nothing but people who don’t know what they want expect a hole to fill.
I'm kind of sick of hearing men who don't take care of their own children complain about dating single mothers. 😒 (I'm not a single mother, but these little men on my feed are annoying af.)
Don’t take care of their kids and it shows! Hence the reason they say dating a single mother isn’t the same as dating a single father! Any man truly active in his child’s life know this isn’t true!
FACTS!! As a man that was in this very situation, I can tell you 💯 this is EXACTLY true, a it is the reason I will never encourage my future son to date or marry a single mother... ever!
To be honest I’m starting not to like single mothers as girlfriends either. They have patterns in their friendships as well. They never really bring anything to friendships, use kids as a reason to not show up in friendships and every conversation feels like a therapy session. Get higher vibrations from my non mom girlfriends 🤷🏽♀️
You was talking to a bum dear. I’m a single mom of one . I work 50+ hours a week. I’m not on any type of welfare and have never asked a man for any money including my sons father. The whole point is all women aren’t like this. I would like to get married one day but everyone makes it seem like being a single is the worst thing in the world . I don’t need a man to come save me I want a genuine connection and real love.
@@dreamergangceo He can do whatever he wants to do. If a man doesn’t want to date a single mother he doesn’t have to. My whole point of responding to his post was just to say all women are like that. I’m very self sufficient and never ask a man for anything with a child . That is all !
@@twylamoses1471 women always say that, though you may not ask, no man is gonna do for you and not do for your child as yall are a package deal, just really wanted to know the pros and cons so to speak if you dont have children and you're coming into a situation with someone who does
I guess things were different when I was growing up my mom married my step father when I was 7 and he was the man of the house. My SD and my mom made the rules and both dished out punishments. My mom and I were a package deal
Now I'm in a relationship where I am financially supporting a child that that isn't biologically mine and the mother is not in the picture but I have absolutely no say in anything. The child runs our home. My boyfriend and I quit even trying to go out together cause if we do we are made to feel bad.
@@hillarybruns8649 wtf are you doing that for and than complaining here about it? You talking like your situation happens alot....It doesn't, you shouldn't be with a "man" that let's you pay for everything ....what's more common is single moms wanting a man for everything and not giving nothing in exchange but puzzy
Things were definitely different a while back. There was a time when single moms were single moms because the father bailed or died. Now most of them know they can trade the father for a child support payment and keep screwing around with different men.
🤨 These single fathers need to stop expecting to be able to date women who don’t already have children, as well…women don’t want to deal with other people’s unruly children either.
I assume he's speaking of the majority of single mothers of color, from a man's perspective. Simply because women in this country usually are privilege more access to her children, than of a man's seed. So single mothers would be a great example than that of single father's. Simply because woman are the majority.
Sorry ladies Most Men that don't have kids do not want to date a single mother. I Will NEVER!!!! Date or take a single mother serious for a relationship. That's a NO! Deal Breaker! This is a No Single Mother Zone over here
I’m 61yo, my Mother was a single mom with two kids. I never saw my Dad. And I hated any Man my Mom went with, especially the ones trying to step in to be my father.
Yup. That’s the side of single motherhood blk women don’t want to talk about. They only care the push the ‘strong independent and don’t need no man’ narrative.
@@IBO85 My Mom had no problem dating. She wasn’t the perfect Mother and didn’t want kids. Plus she gave me up to another family for five years. I’m good!
Oh my goodness, say it again bro! I did that stupid sh*t of marrying a single mother in my mid 20's, worst mistake of my life! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT DO THIS! LEAVE SINGLE MOTHERS ALONE. They're mad all the time, broke, in debt, still mad at the baby daddy because of what he did, didn't do, said, or didn't say and blame you for everything. "Those are not your children, but you better pretend like they are. Buy and pay for everything they need but I say what goes and doesn't go". Did I get that right ladies? Fellas, stay clear of them!!
Well I come from a blended family and my dad and step mom have given me a lot of advice because I have one too and it takes patience and two people that truly want to make it work And that single mother has to truly trust that man to be over her kids My advice to men is to not allow the children to disrespect you and when there is an issue go tell your woman and agree together on the consequences and confront that child it has to be a united front I am extremely thankful to god that I have a husband that was extremely patient with me from the beginning and knew upfront how crazy I was when it came to my child but he stood by my side and I completely trust him with my child and our children together I hope this gives the single mothers in the comments some hope find a mentor find someone that went through the same thing and made it work DO NOT TAKE ADVICE FROM SINGLE WOMEN AND SINGLE MEN THEY WILL KEEP YOU SINGLE
If married people were so great at advice.., why are y’all divorced, why are you single mothers, why are there multiple fathers in the picture, why are you married folks sleeping around so much with everybody, why are your households out of order and FULL of dysfunction and chaos??? There are so many trifling marriages and jacked up families out here .., MARRIED PEOPLE don’t have the corner of the market on advice or relationships.. period!!! SINGLE FOLKS have some of the best advice.. and some of the most integrity.. while all the married folks are out here wild’n out being the reality!!! Good Advice is just GOOD ADVICE no matter of your married or single.., it’s all about the character, integrity, and experience of the one giving the advice!!!! Married folks kill me acting like they’re better than single folks .., YOURE NOT!!!!!!
Yup don't know what's going on in someone else's house to be making all those assumptions, unless you know them. I think listening to the children of single parents and married couples that make it work makes total sense.
@@MrsLegitParttwo don't worry about that crap their talking, if we don't date single moms then our choices of women are gonna be very very very slim, I would like to find a single mom with younger kids so I can be a part of their life, there are Stupid men & Stupid women that be saying, "don't have another ninja around my child, that's crazy as hell
@@MrsLegitParttwo Everytime they complain about men who don't date single moms they're trying to make you do it. Otherwise they'd shut up and deal with the ones who do want them.
I'm glad I decided to get married. We love and support each other and work to make things comfortable for each other. We're young (early and mid 30) and we have two kids. We have our issues and will possibly have them until we can't stand each other any longer, but for now, we both understand the importance of having both parents in the house. For the most part we both lacked that growing up, and of course, in hindsight, it had major disadvantages. Watching my boy and girl grow this early (3&1) is showing me that no one can help my children deal with what I brought to his and her table, without me. There are things I can see in my children that no one is able to see because that part of them, is ME, and only I know me, like me! I have a mastermind style of learning/execution and without proper guidance I used it for the worst reasons. I'm felonied out 🤦🏾♂️😄. Now, and I know it sounds common place, but my son (3) is a fucking savant!! 😆. He's lightyears away from ABC/123. He's the only 3yr old reading 3 and 4 syllable words (teaching himself and sounding out words) in his school, his book shelf is his toy box and hes counting to 200 for shits and giggles. His daycare is astounded by how progressive he is 😄. We are very proud parents - _But_ He _is_ His Father's child. It's my responsibility to my son's mental health and civic duty to the world to guide this potencial wrecking ball because along with the gifts I also see the curses. Its honestly scary knowing how habits, emotions, and trigger points in life works. Our habits bleed into our kids "potencial" interests e.g. "generational curse" stuff. I now wish I had someone that could peep my moves and have given me a few cheat codes... I can't wait to see what his sister brings. Shes a die-hard Daddies girl 💪🏾these days but I honestly hope turns out more like her mother 😄. Its not easy having kids but with two parents this is way more fun than not, for everyone. For the fathers that haven't spent time with their kids, for whatever reason- fix it- at all costs. I left my family once. For 4 months while my daughter was on the way. In that little time I lost so much time with my son and at that time I didnt want another child 😔 but I couldnt shake it. I came back home. Me leaving and coming back was probably one of the best things for my Wife and I. I think it only worked bc no other woman, or man, was involved. It was just us and our kids. Our ideals, skills, and interests bleed into our egg and seeds and being that we've worked through a lot of the kinks, together, we can save them time and possibly a little heartache. I couldnt imagine having a different life, thinking, "Im doing better on my own for my babies", not being able to live it with my babies 🤦🏾♂️. You're super cool for reading this 😎👍🏾
Thanks for your comment. The last sentence was priceless. Good dads/step dads don't get the credit they deserve. Too much talk is given about lovers and deadbeats. I'm happy your story went the way it did. Life and living isn't for the lazy. Anything worth having is worth working hard for. 👍🏼
I CANNOT stand the over generalizations of single mothers. I for one am NOT the single mother most refer to. First, my children are HIGHLY respectful and well behaved because for one, I respect my children and discipline them out of love. We have a very close and open relationship. Still... momma don't play! We are not peers. For another, if my children are out of line and/or need to be taught/redirected... if your intentions are to also discipline them out of love, then please by all means, DO SO. My problem with women who say no to this is, WHY would you be ok dating and sleeping with a man but have a problem with this same man disciplining your children?? The math ain't mathing... If he's good enough for your temple, then he should be solid enough to discipline your children. And if not, YOU'RE the problem. NOT the man. Don't bring around men you can't trust to be good examples for your children. Period.
Never date a woman with kids. You will always be last, and be the first to pay when things go wrong with her and her kids. You're not going to be able to discipline them even if they need it.
No sorry, some of us just want some respect time attention and we would give it back 10 fold. I am a single mother my man does not pay for a damn thing dor my daughter in fact i refuse to takr any money of him aside from the amount he lived on when single.....i dont involve him in any issues wih my ex infact my ex is off the scene which is good thats not my choice btw. I give my man my time, affection cook bake fix his plate, i look after him when hes sick in regard to disipline i sort it...he doesnt get involved and my child is well behaved anyways....some of us unfortunately picked wrong and i tried so hard with my wx offered weekends never asked for child support just something toward raising her asked for half toward clothijg activities etc even said i would show him receipts for items purchased....he refused....so please dont tar us all with the same brush
@@erniechipdouglas9779 you're one out of a million....so the best advice to young men is to stay away from single moms...cause finding someone like you is next to impossible
Not All women think that way. Some women welcome the discipline as long as it is valued information that can help and its not physical abuse or inhumane punishment. Please don't speak for all single mothers.
Meaning at the end of the day, if the man wants to discipline the child, it is still subject to whether the mom thinks it is reasonable or not. Just avoid it completely
@michaelacheampong2869 its obvious that your not a parent. If it was your biological child, the mother might not allow you to discipline them by hitting them just talking to them and speaking life into them, showing them the right way. All kids are different, the way they learn or behave. Your own child might be out of control and you have done the proper things to raise the child. If a man has a child women typically will still date and marry him and take own the responsibility of co-parenting. Sometimes the step parents understand the assignment. At the end of the day it's preference. Let's not bash women or men with children because you never know their situation. Everyone is deserving of love. It will take a strong positive person to understand the assignment and grow and build with the partner his children and hers
@@nitraj_live1676 who said anything about beating the kids. Why do we always assume the extreme case. It could be from talking to them, setting up a reward system for good behaviour and then spanking depending on the age of the child etc.. Even though you made some good points that I agree with , let's be honest...the disadvantages far outweighs the advantages.
I can still hit my BM not because I think I can but because she let me know I could and if I wasn’t tryna do better with D discipline I prolly would. Men have to be careful it’s not safe
I’m a single mother and I can say my relationships are completely separate from my children unless we’re talking about moving forward and cohabiting. So far no problems. Discipline will be discussed before the children are introduced. I respect my partner and would never put him in a situation where my children embarrass him with poor behavior.
I've known people that has went through this and all I can say is if the woman does not allow the man to be the man on all levels that he need to be a man she really doesn't trust him and she also has issues deep down inside that she has never dealt with because there is no way that you have a good man and you're not allowing him to lead!
This maybe true, but is an unfair generalization. I was divorced (husband abandoned completely) and single with 2 small children. My children were well taught & disciplined. Met a man with no children we married and had another son together. All my children call him dad and respect him. He doesn't physically discipline them, but I do, but I have never had issues with them respecting him. We've haven't been perfect, but everyone is respected and no children are treated better than others. It took time but it can work if everyone grows up and loves the children right.
If the roles are reversed I'd feel the same way I stay away from men who already have kids...its just ss hard on us single women. That's a two way street.
@@benedictelunda1863 not the same....women usually don't come into a men's life paying all the bills 🙄 and we are not so fragile about letting a women discipline our kids
Lol I feel bad for my 2nd bm bf he wanted to be a simp and become a step papa over some 🐱and take care a kid that’s not his… well have fun being a family y’all cause we know it’s gone end and she gone come runing in my DMs apologizing like she did the first time 🤣🤣😭
Same reason I didn’t want to date a man with children when I didn’t have any but was told that I was wrong for feeling how I felt,the door swings both ways
@Rubin Telcy I'm 51 and I haven't consistently seen dudes with full custody. So it's kinda hard to say. Usually dudes and their kids are in different households. I'd like to see a larger sample size.
@@doclew28 Even with children in the same household, the woman coming into the situation is not financially responsible for anything. She had way less of an investment with that man’s children. So what right does she have to parent those children when she’s not really doing anything for them. There’s a major difference b/w a step father vs a step mother.
I met a woman who had 4 kids when she met her man. He had 3 children. I remember her telling me that allowing him to come in and discipline her children was one of the hardest decisions of her life, but she stepped aside, made sure that he wasnt abusing her kids and let him lead. They have been married for over 50yrs now and have had many more kids together. Its possible to blend families, but many people are to superficial and immature to navigate through the weeds.
I don’t (Hah) but to be fair you got to be realistic, this the black community uh y’all mostly single mothers. I’m seriously talking 70-80% uh this is a fact
I don't know what kinda women yall deal with but my dad is my step-dad and this was never an issue in my household. Yall see these red flags in these women but yall move forward anyway.
Your Stepdad is from the older generation too, And I bet he did not have multiple baby mamas either. Like today's Generation Either. I understand what you are saying, It's a different era of people Now.
@@Mr.Atlanta850 what changed tho? And it's funny how a man won't date single mothers but yall be having 7 different baby mama's and expect the new female to have to deal with all of them fucked up personalities.... let's talk about that.
Speak the same way on single fathers. I dated one for 3 yrs and it was a trash ass experience. He was broken because the kids' mother died. He didn't want to raise his kids at all. He wanted me to take on 4 extra kids by myself. Once I realized he literally stressed their mother to death I left.
@@dariangartrell5620 it sounds like you feel shamed for some reason. I suggest you take that up with the God you serve. That’s a “you” problem, not a “me” problem.
Single fathers represent less than 6% of the population.. They're not a real issue. Over 70% of BW are single mothers and 40% of all American women are single mothers.
Can we address the real elephant in the room: the extremely high rate of single motherhood among BW in general. I'm back in the dating market, after relocating back home to NYC from Las Vegas, & men (of all races) immediately ask "How many kids do you have?" or they will ask "You don't have kids?" A BM told me recently that I was a "unicorn" b/c he hasn't spoken to a BW over 35 that was childless. It's a two-fold issue: the massive disrespect of step-fathers by their wives/girlfriends (despite BM statistically having a higher rate of stepfatherhood compared to their population size) & the overwhelming amount of BW that are mothers that were never married. Less than 20% of BM are fathering 80% of the kids, so there is also babydaddy drama. Solution: marry before getting pregnant by any man. Make marriage a priority & utilize birth control and condoms to prevent unwanted pregnancy.
I was a single mother when I met my husband, when we decided we were serious and wanted to be a family, we discussed discipline together- he had a say so to an extent because we decided together. People who are truly looking to be a family work together. You can’t judge all single mothers off of some, js
If he is the man of the house he should have FULL SAY SO…you kind of told on yourself a lil bit he still can’t go about being the father he wants to be to the child cuz he only has a small amount of authority. You saying “to an extent” tells me a lot. Can he be a husband “to an extent”? Can he just pay the bills “to an extent”? I bet not!! If I have full responsibility I want FULL AUTHORITY
Do any of you have children or been a stepparent? You’re just going to immediately give someone with no parenting experience total control over discipline? If so, you’re dumb.
I’m old school and my household is ready and set for my King to enter. He shall lead and we will follow. He has every right to discipline and set order in our home. I trust that I will choose a man that can lead with integrity and be lead by God. We shall be on the same page when it comes to disciplinary actions for our children. If the children don’t like then go on the other side of that door. At the end of the day the kids will grow up and be gone and then there is just us. Raise the kids and nurture the marriage.
A man doesn't make a single mother. A woman makes a single mother. No one put a gun to her head and told her to have a baby out of wedlock. You crazy as hell.
Absolutely! They behave as If males cannot do any wrong. Real men don't abandon their children. Both males & females need to be more responsible & mature.
Ummm .. if you dated more than one .. did you live with each one??? How long??? Did you marry any of them? Did you take on the responsibility and parental roles? Did you ever have to discipline her children? What kind of single mothers were you dating if you didn’t marry any of them?
@@jatall2797 In fact I did. Obviously not ALL of them but my wife was a single mother. So my oldest daughter is really my step daughter but she's MY DAUGHTER Cuz!!! Plus we had 3 more kids together and been together for the last 15 years. As for the other ones, marriage wasn't my goal as I was not mature enough at that point. Get it? Got it? Good.
Yall old school players had a different take on simpology.. Yall thought simping was manhood.. Different times. Yall single mothers were more humble. These single mothers are entitled my guy.. We don't save those
@@SmifLaly bro, she IS NOT your daughter…definitely the simp in you is talking…you started off behaving totally oblivious to situation…it’s damn 100% known that many many women will have issue with Step father disciplining the kids and many of the kids will have big issue with you trying to come in and trying to be their father, when you are in fact not
Why you the man of a house of someone you dating. I would never move in with a woman I wasn’t going to marry. Let her run her house how she wants and be friends with the kid. The kid will probably eventually respect you more than the mother. Lol.
If they're living together, they aren't dating. They're either married or cohabitated. That's the scenario he presented. A man should have authority in his own home.
Yes, this makes the most sense out of all the comments I’ve read. Well said, Sir. She is running her own house and he’s running his if they are in the dating stage. No man outright should be trying to discipline another’s child. Get to know the child build rapport with him/her then your disciplinary suggestions will come into play. But if I’m dating someone first of all I’m not even bringing my child around that man if I know it’s not going no where serious. It would at least be a year before I decide if I will bring my son around that man based on how our relationship is going.
Exactly. It's because these men don't believe in marriage to begin with and this is the reason that there are single mothers. Not one time do you hear these men say anything about marrying women first but bash women for being single mothers. Men love to avoid fault and blame women for everything. There is absolutely no accountability. In many cases these men arent even paying all the bills. They are paying half or none at all. They move in with women because they can't take care of themselves. I'm tired of hearing men talk their bs when they don't have the right to. I notice that men like to fraud, a lot!
If I move her in(because I ain't moving in with a woman EVER), then I'm intent on marrying her. That's gotta be worked up to. I tell the bros all the time to not move in with a woman you ain't serious about.
