The 3 Most Important Red Flags You’ve Never Heard Of - Matthew Hussey 

so the red flags we've all heard about before...

@@Kris.G Yeah. But I guess putting into practice is a different thing. Maybe our problem is not really lack of information but rather not being principled enough to stick to those principles. We give excuses to avoid conflict because that's uncomfortable

@@shikyokira3065 then the title should've been "The 3 Most Important Red Flags You Keep Ignoring".

u saved 7mins of my life. Thanks man

so......women

Could be also applied to healthcare.

@@GraceHarwood88 Your country just sucks lol..blame your govenment not government in general. We see what goes on.

@@stoneneils it’s a thankless task where every choice made is going to upset half the country. Gotta be out of one’s mind to think it’d be easy.

​@@stoneneilsactually yes. . . Government in general. All governments on the planet for that matter

@@WilcoxNotreallythere No, you're projecting as usual. We can promise you...billions of us..the American system is vastly more corrupt and untrustworthy than most of the rest of the world. It shows in the homeleless, healthcare, insurrection, silly religious nonsense, wars, private prisons, etc. etc. You only have TWO parties for crying out loud. And if they don't like who you vote for, they ignore you lol.

This. Yes.

The words "I'm sorry" are meaningless without action.

Yeap. Empty apologies really just mean ‘I dislike the current situation so here’s what you want to hear. Calm down so I can feel less bad about it. If I have to do it again I’ll just repeat the apology or promise to change without any further action’

Yes, should be "sincere" apology, meaning not having to say "sorry" over and over again for the same thing.

I interpreted what he said as if he meant like "can't *even* say 'sorry'." I might be projecting, but I've been in that situation so that's how I took it.

Absolutely, apologies are largely BS. Show me change

When is your expert interview? Looking forward to it.

Both .

Also typical for narcissists. All he says is about narcissists.

most people have narccistic traits ecause social media, woman and capitlaism rewards it only 15 % have sublcinical and only 1% have npd, and psychology is a psudo science based on self surveys, with self proffesed experts with degrees in other irrelenvant areas of psychology who want to make money on books on this narcism subject@@0MoTheG

"Their actions do not match their words." - So, you mean *ALL WOMEN* ?

This is a better list.

No means no, Sergio.

Actions and words. Lies too…listen carefully.

Good list

😂

Truths!!!

Those crocks are the biggest red flag. What an eyesore. I'm genuinely offended. Atrocious.

I actually find it kinda hot! 😊 he’s comfortable with himself and this is how he decided to show up knowing it won’t be everyone’s taste. ❤

😂😂😂😂

I mean I’m a dude, but I get THAT one

@@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access Do they make them in size 13?

It's BOY color! For MEN!

Hahaha!

😂

I'm guilty of not apologizing when I'm wrong often. That being said, I do try to make up for the shortfall, which is why most people don't ask me to apologize.

thanks for being the apparently rare person who _gets_ the logic of "I could NOT care less". 😉 A feat these days...

Not apologising is even more pathetic than fake apologies. That person is weak as hell.

Crocs with socks no less 😅

As long as you keep your word

Lol seriously. There are so many comfortable shoes guys can wear that look 100x better than crocs and yet guys still choose to wear them.

Thank you, needed dis

@@ouch000u you're most welcome

Dis? Why lower yourself to writing that way?

@@claudiomarangone614 No reason to pick on a stranger's motivation for writing one thing or another.

It's a behavior that helps filter out the narcs. Have a good day.

These r very good and accurate. This has been my experience 23 years in.

Not bad advice - considering you only had one serious relationship, that’s kinda like taking wealth building advice from a lottery winner ;) Converse to 1, someone who never considers themselves first might also be a risk as a partner because these people usually grow resentful for not having their (covert) needs met.

smells like narcissistic tendencies

​@@polysaturatedlol get outta here😂 so by that logic, the 7th time divorced guy is the expert? People with 1 or very few serious relationships are the most emotionally mature people I've met. That's because emotional maturity isn't like sports, you make progress more through self reflection than constant practice

@@resir9807great point! Also the 7th time divorced guy is NOT super selective e!!!

You are correct but it's most of the Cluster Bs, not just the psychopaths. It's not just when you are looking at them either, it can be every movement you make for very extended periods of time. If you get that creepy feeling you are having your business nosed into even if you aren't talking to anyone in the room, there's probably a Cluster B in the room.

This

@@jelkel25That’s not how anything works.

But that just means shes really into me Me a week later: she's going to bite it off...

For me, the big BPD thing is a hollowness to their eyes. Like, she might have a super engaging smile, and she'll be definitely staring at you, but there's just a certain spaciness to her stare. Something just seems to be missing.

I disagree. I think the biggest red flag is when someone else wants/expects or even just *hopes* you will “change.” I’d run far from anyone who is judgemental and arrogant enough to assume they know best how someone else’s character ought to be. If a person wants a partner with Attributes [A,B,C] that’s on them to keep seeking until they find it… not choosing someone with [B,C] and then upset when the person they’re with doesn’t say, “thanks for telling me my character flaw that you need me change.” Who decides what is and isn’t an appropriate *character*? And what right does a potential partner have to decide? Yeah, someone being judgey is a huge red flag. My husband and I fortunately did not try to “change” each other… we accepted the other, perceived flaws and all. 23 years later that still works 😁. It’s fine to be *annoyed* that someone else’s attributes don’t match what we want. It’s our choice to accept who they are or move on.

So you're actually a pessimist. An optimist will just look forward to the next opportunity.

@@EvoraGT430straight up i read his comment and thought “ah another pessim… wait what”

ah yes, too much optimism...THATS the problem...

@@imageword5576 Yeah, because if you promise you can get to the airport in 3.5 hours, but that's really based on an optimistic view of the traffic between your home and the airport, then you're over-promising. Then maybe you don't deliver on the promise. So optimistic people are cheerful, and upbeat, but the flip-side of that coin is they tend to over-promise and place higher expectations on themselves and others than they can achieve. It's very often the case that an apparently positive quality in an individual can at the same time be difficult to live with in other circumstances. That's why in all our relationships with other humans it is important to learn tolerance and understanding, since we all have failings and very often our failings are merely the flip-side of our positive qualities. Nobody is perfect, nobody can be perfect. Have a wonderful Easter.

The two are not mutually exclusive though.

This one drives my gf crazy. If I think I did something wrong, I will of course apologize. But I won't ever apologize for something I don't think I should be sorry for.

​​​@@Axiomatic75 Sounds like one of u has unrealistic perceptions of whats "wrong" in a situation where u don't think you're actually at fault. One of u is closer to seeing an amicable perspective then the other, and you both have to work that out. From my experience with seemingly difficult women (both relationships and family, thought mostly relationships) the best course of action is to first check yourself, like honestly asses whether you did *anything relevant* that was wrong, and if ur too emotional to do that then you have to excuse yourself until you can. Apologize for anything you can see, and then communicate any problems you have with what they're saying or the way they're saying it in a *very calm* manner (try to give them no good reason to cut you off). If they dismiss your grievances or maliciously interrupt you, without even considering them, you must immediately leave them to themself and not communicate with them again until they reach out to you (you should only do this if you are confident you honestly truly assesed yourself in regards to ther trouble and expressed yourself with absolute respect). Because someone who watches you accept and consider something thats bothering them and then refuses to think about you with amy form of care after that fact, is not someone you should be with. From my experience.

Runaway now. It’ll never get better than what it is.

never let them feel comfortable in the relationship, once they do : your doomed out comes all of the bad behavior.

​@@3756hansnever let then get comfortable? You don't know what love is.

Unfortunately, narcissism has been so normalized by permissive parenting, social media, and digital devices that the kids need this explained to them, ad nauseum.

@JediNiyte agreed, and I do believe Chris and Matt are trying to help people. It just baffles my mind

WHO CARES???? what a shallow comment

That’s why I like him. He’s like one of my buds

He's comfortable

The menthols is spot on! 😂

It’s like saying, why dont we he show up in his pajamas to work. 😂

I date many narcs/histrionics..but oh my god the psychopath had me totally fooled..she chose the direct opposite of what she was as a persona so I could never have imagined the truth. And yet it cost me 5k in lawyer fees but was still 100% worth the experience. She was WILD..insane...i couldn't tell you guys or i'd get deleted/banned..i'm borderline so many girlfriends since age twelve...mostly crazy like me.

I bet they're great for walking on rocks.

A relationship that is built upon diminishing returns. Until it gos into bankruptcy

Crocs are comfy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I actually consider no brothers a MAJOR warning. I've rarely met a woman with a brother who didn't understand me. The same cannot be said for women with sisters only. They get this confused look in their eyes I don't appreciate whatsoever.

@@stoneneils i can picture that. good point. women tend to be sexist in an arrogant dismissive way, way more than men.

Ugh...troubled adult kids...that's a hard pass for me! Next!

Is it a stress for you to seek to understand something better?

The people that complain the most about dating are usually causing their own problems

We all like talking shit lol. It’s a very in group out group thing.

@@benjamingeorge8241 True, but it's all in the ratio. Most of your comments regarding other people should be positive. If you only talk shit 20% of the time, that's a pretty healthy ratio.

Ugh with the shallow, judgement …who cares⁉️⁉️‼️🌎🤷‍♀️🇺🇸

HE LOOKS SO GOOD SHHHH 😂

Why do u say that?

The blue Crocs.

lol the blue crocs and the high socks 😂

the biggest red flag is to listen to anything Matthew Hussey says.

If the person is above 7/10 hot/beautiful, who notices responsibility???

@@constantined9015 People whose IQ is above 100.

@@billgaits3717 yes but those are too clever to make a firm decision to spend their life - whole life - with a less pretty partner! Why to do that? Life is already difficult! I don't speak about me; I m not that clever and I m relatively ugly!!

Look at the cluster f**k dating world. To me it's 100% clear many, many people have never heard that, much less live by it. 😢