The 4 Attachment Styles 

I’m doing everything in my power to love and care for my toddler twins so that they do not have to repair their childhood. This includes co-sleeping and being highly responsive to their needs rather than ignoring them with sleep training. It’s hard work. I just pray it pays off. 😅

Video starts at 06:11

The attachment theory is one of my favorites while I digged it during my Bachelors in General Psy.On my opinion the most prevalent that I ve been observing are the anxious one and the fearful one,and also insecure.I m observing them everywhere !

Hugging for me was difficult. I did not get hugs or kisses from my parents. They lost a daughter a year before I was born. And I’m pretty sure they had a similar experience with their parents.

I am mostly anxious I think, but also disorganized. I avoid relationships and dating at all, because of how anxious I can be. My mom bailed when I was four and my dad married a Mommy Dearest type when I was seven. I feel like I have both chased maternal attachment, as well as tried to not let it ever get close enough to hurt me again.

Attachment Styles: 1. *Secure* 2. *Anxious Preoccupied* (also just called "Anxious") 3. *Dismissive Avoidant* (some can say "Avoidant" as an umbrella term for both Dismissive and Fearful) 4. *Fearful Avoidant* (sometimes referred to as "Disorganized" by some) I feel sorry the most for people who have the Fearful Avoidant attachment style. Not only does their style seem to be the most extreme one... they're also least likely to self-reflect, which is going to impede their progress towards growth and facing their fears. They are so afraid, and their instinct is to run away. They also don't even want to look at themselves. They have a sense that they're not good enough. Trying to put in work to fix themselves feels to them like looking into a mirror that what they're seeing is ugly. They would rather not even look at all. So when it comes to recovery, they struggle the most with getting the ship off the ground. Someone I knew had a bad mother and lacked a father. It is truly sad and I wish we could do something about this. Nobody cares. I hate this system and our culture. There is so much wrong with us and we just don't care. America is corrupt and I think our country is only going to get worse and worse and worse.

According to my parents as a baby I was primarily attached to my dad. I weaned myself at 5 months old, I would not take the breast, and would often refuse the bottle from my mother. She had really severe postpartum depression and I was really sensitive to that and felt safer with my dad. I was a different kid when my parents broke up a few months before my third birthday. It took years for my mother and I to form a close bond. I would scream and cry on the car ride home and was much happier at daycare than at home. I sometimes wonder how different my life might have been without that early trauma.

TWO ads in one 10minute video is TOO much! ☹️

When you can see yourself as all and none at the same time 💀

I joke around alot but it's difficult to express affection. I'll listen really well, but don't talk much. I've no problem bonding but in my alone time I like alone being alone.

Video on how to choose a therapist? (If you don't already have one.) So often we give advice to our family or friends struggling to get a therapist but we never talk about the importance of ensuring we have a good therapist. Therapists are people too, and most are good, but some are bad. I would be less scared of going back into therapy if I had some guidelines for how to choose a good therapist ❤️

Did you have to do the commercial for MedCircle?

I feel like this (although I understand there was not much time in the video) could be misleading. I am in an attachment school ATM too and was told most BPD individuals are usually anxiously attached (maybe leaning fearful avoidant). I like that this information is becoming more common knowledge, however insinuating that a particular kind of attachment is associated with x,y and z disorders in my opinion isn't necessarily appropriate in a video like this (just because it could be misleading in that people may see that as a majority rather than a vast minority of cases with these correlations). Maybe how to heal these could be brought up too (or maybe it's in another video of yours)?

Great info!!❤🙏🏼

Can someone share the link for the quiz?

One day I had a ha-ha moment about how I was relating to people when three past relationships showed up in my current relationship. He reminds me of all three. Which in turn made me look at myself because I am clearly seeing a repeating pattern. Then this term attached style shows up and now I see the WHY I am like I am so clearly!

that fact that a certain person can have "different bags" of attachment styles in different situations with different people makes this theory difficult to use in identifying who to avoid or who to accept in our lives... rather, this theory is most useful in knowing more about oneself and how to improve and/or strive to be in that "secure" spectrum of attachment style. also, this theory also acknowledges that even if we find someone with secure attachment style it will still not work smoothly if we ourselves isnt secure... the goal is to be secure by ourselves by doing self reflection and improving ourselves.... and finding someone with the same secure attachment style... 🤷

What about detachment? Does that relate to any of these? My mother never held me or touched me. No physical affection. It destroyed me. All my relationships have been very damaging as its been all about the physical. I was so desperate to be loved.

Real info starts at 6:10

I would like to know, how fight against the childhood attachement (bad)?

Reupload. The other ones were deleted unfortunaty.

5 minutes the in and still didn't start mentioning the 4 attachment styles 😒

9:20 i have both 😢

Hmm.. I came here because I'm learning I might be an anxious preoccupied attachment -- I don't think the comment made at 6:23 was very tactful. We're talking about mental health here, why the need for a negative connotation to those who may have that attachment while she's making a generalized summarization? This is disappointing. I thought this was a channel about helping and reaching people.

Why am i 4 1/2 minutes into this video and you haven't even told me about one kind of attachment style!!!!

I like being an alone human male

I’m shocked that I have a secure attachment style.

One commercial would have been one too many but two? down votes for these commercials.

"I think I dated that person" haha let's make fun of people with anxious attachment

Clicks on this cause he's opposed to the idea that there can only be 4 attachment styles :v

Too many ads!

Couldn’t finish the video.

Mmmm she dodged the last question. I can see the intention behind your questioning Kyle; is there a moral purpose of this categorisation of humankind?

I think I dated that person 😂😂😂 we all did

Wrong video

This was not a good waste of time. Got nothing from it.

Useless

Pseudoscience

10 min video with two plugs 👎

No. It’s not attachment styles. It’s inborn personalities. Your parents don’t owe you hugs or kisses.

Just watching her talk makes me anxious. Please lose the blink blink high heel and the fake eyelash. Distracting.

Worst video on this theory ever! It's all subjective and opinion based whereas that one dating coach is straight scientific about it and realistic without personal opinion.