The Acolyte episode 5 crushed me, ground me into tiny pieces and blasted me into oblivion 

I’d like to let everyone know that this video was supposed to come out before the release of episode 7-and it would have, were it not for Disney making it their personal mission to never let this video go up. I had to make 16 different attempts just to push this through the copyright system, and that’s not an exaggeration. Literally 16. And in the process, I had to do a lot of filtering and other ugly editing methods just to appease the Disney overlords, which was especially frustrating because, to be honest, I consider this to be some of my best work, editing-wise (and a big thanks once again to Southpaw for helping me with it, go check out his channel) So I’d like to give my most gracious middle finger to you, Disney, for making me butcher my work. 🖕🏻 Hope you all enjoy!

Dooku: "The power of one lightsabre" Maul: "The power of two lightsabres" Grievous: "The power of mannn *cough cough* yyyyyyyyyy"

After the many hours I spent editing the first half of this video, I never want to look at a second of this goddamned episode ever again.

Every time I hear the word Osha I immediately think 'what's the government labor agency got to do with this horrid plot?'

Bro must've sold his soul to the devil to finally make it work

Wait so, with episode 7 in mind, why did Mae ever think Osha was dead? Her half of the bridge hadn't collapsed, and she wasn't at the bottom of whatever pit Mae fell into, so the logical assumption would have been that the Jedi had her.

If Qimir was any more competent, not a single Jedi would have left that planet alive.

4:14 i guess smilo ren is the universal name for this guy now

If there was one good thing to come from this episode, lightsaber stabs are finally lethal again

I've been looking forward to this

Seeing the iconic smiling thumbnail brought a big smile to my face. Can’t wait for the release!!

So we went from having a Darth Vader wannabe to a Kylo Ren wannabe XD

I love that you did the MauLer thing of saying "but anyway" with footage of Boss Nass flopping his cheeks

27:13 At least. It would more than likely freak out the entire Jedi Order as they had some random dark-side user pop up and take on a group of 10 Jedi, including a master, and win. The Jedi Counsel should be panicking as they institute new reforms to ready all Jedi to be able to fight lightsaber-wielding foes. Not to mention bringing this up with the Senate to convince them to allow them to forcibly take force-sensitive children regardless of what their parents want as well as register all force sensitives to keep track of them.

Wait till you get to this week's episode. Tragically bad

Ki-Adi-Mundi at least knew their was a Jedi killer out on the loose, and then lost at least one, if not two full Jedi teams in said pursuit... and was the one who announced the Sith were gone for a mellenia. Either he was never let know that close to two dozen Jedi had died mysteriously, or is lying to the High Council... so... not good either way..

I was hoping he would be revealed as a “sith pretender” and then the real line of bane show up and off him but now that he’s outmatched like 10 jedis then that’s out the window. He’s one of the most powerful force users period.

I find the title’s lack of an Oxford comma disturbing

As someone who hasn’t watched this show, I don’t think I will

My left ear really enjoyed the commentary.

It's like this incoherent show was written by hyperactive children.

Your editor is a WIZARD 😮 And you are a saint 🙏🏽 27:04

I understand the delay between when video was recorded and finally uploaded, and could only think the entire time, "Oh man. Wait until he sees Episode 7!"

8:25 not giving it to Vader makes sense since Palpatine deliberately made Vaders suit crappy so Vader couldn't kill him

42:00 Ineffective force healing

I would watch an hour of Sheev attempting to do a Yoda impression

I don't even watch these shows anymore. I just think it's fun listening to you rip into them

Fucking love the titles of these types of videos 😂

Long have I waited....

Glad you finally got it out, youtube’s system is broken 😪

27:04 I hope your desk is as bad as mine, because I was drinking something when you did this.

You’re gonna waste a perfectly good Jedi by making him a security guard. Shhheeesss!

8:07 To be clear, the reason the CB3s are used a lot isn't because Dooku doesn't have much access to the material, it is because they are too dangerous to Palpatine's plans. If the CIS were to use them in too great a number, the war would be pretty much over. This actually happened in the EU, so Palpatine ended up leaking the manufacturing plant to the Jedi. However, I will say that your point about rarity is still correct since it seems that the CIS only had a few of those factories specifically for the cortosis droids and once those were gone they didn't make any more.

The scooby doo reference had me rolling. I thought the exact same thing.

rewatching this video over and over to hype myself for the hopefully soon series review, cause good god

Honestly, i really liked this video comparatively to some of the more recent Sheev videos ive watched, mainly because it's full of levity. Desite it being critical it still sounds like you're having some fun, which makes watching a longer video like this a lot easier to do (opposed fo something like the kenobi video for example, which while being good was hard to get through due to the tone it took) Shout out Jason from the good place for being the best thing about the acolyte, and shout out the good place as a show for making this show better in reference to it.

27:04 Ok, but your Yoda impression is actually so good. wtf???

Star wars fights are entirely based around the idea that the audience isn't allowed to remember to think about anyone who's off camera.

I have to commend your patience Sheev. This show really tests one’s patience and sanity with how stupid it is. A lot of these problems could have been fixed or resolved if she redrafted and actually thought about her choices. It’s funny because Arcane I learned it took six years to make. The first half was for the animation and the other half was spent redrafting the script. These writers when they do stuff like not redrafting and hide behind identity politics they don’t realize they hurt their own agenda in the long run. They aren’t forwarding anything. Arcane had LGBT representation and female characters but was very well written. The acolyte could have been that. But nope; we are getting something that superficially plants a flag and expects folks to kiss the ground around it. No thanks. All in all, it’s sad to see what state Star Wars is in now.

The Reiner and Bertholt twist from AOT absolutely embarrasses this Qimir bs

"only defining character is that she's a good person." We would thing that wouldn't we? No. she can be whoever she wants and date hot sith dude.

Hot take, Jason should have been the founder of the Knights of Ren, I think it would be cool if the first and the last Master of the Ren Order would be an fallen Jedi. He even looks like Ben Solo after a year in Belarus.

Two lightsabers had made you stronger ever since TCW came out, and every script of this show passed over a certain EP of that show's desk...

Glorious

Great review as always Sheev, yours is the one I wait for above all others. Keen to hear a livestream around episode 6 and 7

are you gonna cover the rest of the acolyte with videos like this as well, or is this a one-time thing?

Maybe jason avoided being stunned with the force, like how vader blocked han shooting at him in empire? Although I don't know if that is how vader blocked the shots, maybe his gloves are just blasterproof, in which case this explanation doesn't work

Yeah, Sheev Talks is back with him giving anthropomorphic actions to what he reviews.

occupational health and safety administration is better than the ex jedis real name😄

One point you made that I’ve only heard here is that any Sith after Bane *should be* a renowned and influential person. This show aside, that’s a cool thing to keep in mind about the sith, that they played a long con, gathering power and increasing it from one generation to the next.

4:14 I wanna defend this part of the show quick. Palpatine easily dispatched three masters, before having difficulty with Windu for a multitude of reasons based specifically on Windu’s own abilities. Qimir is facing more Jedi, but no Masters. Sol is likely the most experienced(capable), and therefore is able to survive. The others, however, are Jedi who not only aren’t masters, they’ve likely not seen as much fighting as those four masters.

Omg I just figured out the vision that she is seeing. Remember in the flashback episode of 7 they say the girls are one entity split in two? Osha is seeing the original individual

...Ok, no other reviewer noticed the Force Healing... Which I literally just don't understand the decisions at this point regarding it. If anything, arguments could be made that Force Healing is fine in the Sequels because it takes place so far into the future that it doesn't affect Anakins' story... But with Disneys constant additions with Grogu being able to Force Heal, and now it appears before the Prequels... It's so dumb. That was one of the main points for Anakin turning to the dark side.

Fuck me, this mind reading crap has really gone off the rails hasn't it. The bar ever lowers.

This is where the fun begins

Rest In Peace Yord, you will be missed. Give my regards to Wade.

yeah!!! cant wait!!

8:09 re: Why not give Grievous/Vader/anyone else cortosis armour, disregarding the obvious out-of-universe answer of "It didn't exist yet", the in-universe answer I would give is that Sith are selfish and paranoid. As much as Grievous is loyal to Dooku, giving armour to a 4-armed guy with 4 lightsabers that you have personally trained just seems like a recipe for getting yourself killed if you ever need to fight him. The same goes for Vader, Palpatine always intended to trash Vader for a better apprentice, and Vader was well-aware of that fact because he was the one who trashed Palpatine's previous apprentice; hell, even the suit is designed to hold him back, so why would Palps then give it a bonus? The current Disney comics show that Vader mods his own suit and prosthetics, but he's never added cortosis either because he was unaware of its existence, didn't know how to get it, or just didn't want it because he's proud of his own abilities. The short of this is that I think Sith not using cortosis can be explained in-universe through a mixture of pride and fear. And before you say "Well Palps should have worn some as the master, to protect himself", my answer to that would be that Palps doesn't seem to put much stock in lightsaber fights because he's so strong in the Force he can just lightning anything and everything. This is the dude who wears nothing but robes all the time and didn't draw his lightsabers in the OT, so I think I'm fairly safe in this assertion.

You can’t blame Sol for not killing Smilo Ren when Kenobi had two chances to kill Vader and didn’t…😂

I hadn't watched the episode and listened to your live stream. Watching this was realy good, because even though it's the same arguments being put forward by you, having the visuals of the show alongside is very helpful and highlights how incredibly dumb this show is.

Boy, I'm sure you absolute loooooved episode 7. 🤣

Release it now, i wanna watch

For the comment you said about Palps being the culmination of Sith power I agree with, but the Jedi 'Smilo' faced weren't Jedi masters, let alone the finest swordsmen the order had to offer. If for example, Mace Windu were invoved, the fight may have been more skewed against him or just outright in a loss. Not to say that 'Smilo' isn't powerful, just that the Jedi he was fighting were more towards the weaker side, and Palpatine was probably more force-power sided and physically past his prime. I have no doubt that Sheev would have owned him if both of them had to fight each other, even in a lightsaber duel, where Palpatine is at a significant disadvantage.

The Acolyte feels like a fanfic somebody had written while sitting in a strip bar, being on multiple drugs, and having sex with multiple people. Normally, I can enjoy Disney Star Wars Content for shutting my brain down after work. But at this show, my brain sends me to sleep because it has to many questions about why the characters have done the next stupid thing.

Smilo Ren, Jason, Discount Ezra Miller, Asian Ezra Miller, Thirst Trap... but you may call him "Sith".

Yeah the magic helmet material is in the league with "why doesn't Tony Stark have vibranium armor" or "if the super soldier serum is so easy to make..." I need an explanation. anyway I assume Vader did have Beskar armor at least in his shoulder armor. He didn't take any real damage from Luke's saber.

When he showed the director's quote talking about the 'twist', that everyone should be able to figure it out etc... Pained me so much when I think of all the shows that subtly give hints such that you can miss it on the first watch but watch it back and everything the character does starts to make sense... and you can see everything that you missed not hidden, just subtle please Disney get some people who actually know how to do this shit

loved the succession clips

@3:17 surround the domicile? dude they were parked in one group, single file about a stone's throw from the front door. at best, I'd give them like 45 degrees of the 360 needed to surround it. BTW i love this channel and everyone in it. keep up the good work!

We need more sheev yoda impressions

Good video.

That force push isn't that crazy man. Cal kestis does about as much

I think he doesn’t like the acolyte

man, the "Occupational Safety and Health Administration" be getting feisty...

22:20 Sol could have pulled smilo s lightsaber from him

Ohhhh shit here we go

I understand your opinions and you looking at it critically is very interesting to me and I enjoyed the video however I still enjoyed this episode while I watched it

Jason looks like Ezra Miller and you can't unsee it once you notice it

Here's the problem with opening a fight scene between force uses with telekinesis. Telekinesis is an instant win ability, and when you show that it can be used outside of special circumstances, it begs the question why he didn't just snap all their necks, rupture organs, or literally blow their heads off. I had the same issue with episode 1.

Jedi feel like they just get random guy a robe and call them Jedi the only guy seem to act like a Jedi is Sol.

It's out! Now I gotta catch up on the damn show

-technically a witch Ritual is Not a Vergence in the force because it is a Event where the force Shows by itself - Sol Bond to the Twins makes No sens because they Are just two Girls he saw once and act‘s Like he watched them growing up -Torbin literally killed himself for something he did start himself -Why did the mother use a weird Force Power the Jedi Never have Seen and can be easily be Seen as an Attack

jason is just build dif

Oh wow! Almonda actually had a facial expression there for a moment 😲

Does moondee being 100 years older, making him b*tch killed by Clone troopers worse?

37:14 I THINK what they’re implying here is since the helmet can dissolve lightsabers, it can probably do the same with blaster shots, including stun blasts? Which raises more questions because that implies stun blasts primarily only work to shut off the brain because otherwise Qimir’s body should be paralyzed at least, right? So they’re just taking a fat shit on even the most basic stuff from the very first movie.

I have an image I took of Yord in episode 1 where he has his shirt off and looks like he peed himself when Jaqui and Sol entered… his death just made me yell out in frustration and confusion and fear of whatever else was going on at that moment, was praying they’d do another “his head wasn’t snapped, he just twisted it and gave him a good massage!” But I think he’s really dead guys… the only guy who cared about the mission and he’s dead…

During the trailers, I remember all the people trying to damage control keeping the Disney brand when the scene of the jedi being pushed back alive saying, "Oh It was something else" "it's a misdirection, they're not gonna fight!" Guess they were wrong, lol

Maybe the stun function is like the zats from Stargate, and you build a tolerance 😂

8:06 isn’t cortosis also more brittle than normal armor materials?

Actually, the motivation for Luke turning to the dark side is pretty thin in rotj and signalled Lucas's descent into lazy writing. Tapping into his anger has nothing to do with him turning on and betraying his friends which is what Palpatine wanted him to do.

Stop nitpicking.

>Sheev couldn't do anything like this to half as many jedi Mace would have brought some of the best Jedi in the order with him to arrest Palpatine, meanwhile Sol would not even be able to get the cream of the crop since he didn't want to talk to the high council.

8:25 only thing I disagree with so far, why would Palpatine give Vader an armor that makes it more likely for him to win if he ever tried to kill him as the sith usually do to their masters? I know lightning counters Vader but it kinda feels like an unnecessary risk on his part, and if sheev was fine with it i don’t think Vader’s pride would let him use it regularly

Haven't watched the show, but I'm guessing they are going to have this "Sole" guy be the real Acolyte, and someone else being the master, like the green Jedi. They'll kill him and then say he was just some rogue so he's not really a Sith.

I agree with the overall assessment, and Acolyte is certainly middling, but I shall now nitpick the nitpick. No ill-will, nor am I defending it. 4:11 I assume this is supposed to be an in-universe point, but the Jedi Council Members are much stronger than the random masters and such from the High Republic. Not only are they higher ranked, but they also have progressed more in the decades since, especially past the war-time of the Clone Wars, so Sidious not being able to immediately rag-doll the four is not exactly comparable. I imagine in the mysterious Sith's position, Sidious could have done the same, if not better. 8:03 Some say the CB3 was purposefully scuttled because it was actually too effective, and would make the war too lopsided, so that does not conflict. 8:10 Likely did know he was going to be sacked and thus not necessary to armour. Might also be too heavy, for him. 8:30 Not certain he needs it, but Cortosis is also relatively fragile compared to his actual armour and Vader is also constantly pelted with other attack vectors, so it might not be worth the trade-off. 9:30 Could have both a Cortosis weave and some other material that can shut out force manipulation. Not quite a metal, but, for example, the Ysalamiri could project a bubble which had similar effects. Should be explained, though, yes. 12:20 Hands/assassins, and even apprentices can be taken in even if their trickery/guile makes up for their lack of direct strength. Albeit, I am not certain what the plan of the "Sith" even really was, with her. 14:13 Unfortunately a common point in the new canon. Also happened in Rebels with Kanan, or Clone Wars with Kit Fisto, and it was just as inane there. Does make one question wherefore the Jedi are not making dual-wielding standard issue if it is so effective. 26:45 There have been other darksiders the Jedi have been quietly dealing with whom they do not consider Sith even before the Acolyte (though I suppose it would be on the show to communicate this better). In fact, in Legends, Yoda encounters one of these who lets slip that the Sith might still be alive, with a master and an apprentice. The idea they are alive is dismissed, but this was the explanation of how they knew about the Rule of Two. They could foolishly dismiss the darksider here, similarly, though I agree the power displayed for a non-Sith is suspect.

> "Yeah, dude, this is our version of Duel of the Fates!" > look inside > it's shit

This is worse then clone wars anakin and movie anakin being different characters like this show is beyond repair

Don't worry, the show gets much better in the next two episodes.

This show took away Ki Adi Mundi's pimp status.