Imagine obsessing over your child's future sex life. Like not with concern over consent or healthy relationships, but just being utterly torn over the idea that your child might have sex before 30.
Aside from safety, I think it's highly inappropriate and creepy to get involved and stick your nose in your child's sex life. And "inappropriate" is not a word I use often, I usually loathe this word.
When I was in high school a girl in my youth group got pregnant and she had to stand up in front of the church and apologize. Not the boy...just the girl.
Like I don't wanna be disrespectful to "normal" christians but damn this is cult, they think they're being saved but if you compare the good to harm it does...
Ugh, I always hate when people blame only the girl or only the boy. Unless it was rape, it is their shared fault. Neither of them made sure to take precautions to avoid pregnancy.
@@nataliaborys1554 I think it's fault of the church. These people don't educate them about this topic property, also why tf would they make them apologize. These people are weird af
My first time was actually in the church, because that was basically the only place me and my girlfriend were allowed to see each other. When the parents found out, they told the pastor who sat me down and told me I was a pervert and no longer allowed to play in the church band, and basically my whole family got kicked out of the church. But, my family had to get up and say we were stepping down from our positions because "god is calling us elsewhere."
I was approached by a girl that I was not into, at all, who said that "god" told her that we were going to marry, which I knew was not going to happen. That should've been the first step of me realizing people are making crap up when they "hear from god." Took another 10 years to get it.
@@anniejuan1817 It's really not though. Matthew 5 Jesus goes as far as to say that even thr thought of sex outside of marriage is the same as committing the act then explicitly claims that it's worthy of eternal punishment in hell. Scripture sets up a paradoxical situation where you are always sinning and dirty, but always forgiven. Then simultaneously saying that if you show your belief with works then you might just be a wolf in sheep's clothing. It's a guilt to forgiveness cycle that is perpetual & essentially guarantees that anyone who takes it seriously (it's different if a person develops cognitive dissonance & ignores the text) will basically be constantly evaluating their guilt. I've seen this cycle destroy lives over time.
THAT was the line my first boyfriend (a fellow member of my baptist church) used when proposing to me. No shit, he actually told me that God had told him to marry me. Since I hadn't gotten any messages from the Almighty, I turned him down and broke up with him not long afterwards.
@@phatchick96 Kudos, you did the right thing. This doesn't have to do with religion, but I grew up with my grandmother's story about how my grandfather put a mirror in front of her and said "this is the woman I'm going to marry". I always found this revolting. Like, don't you think you're being a bit presumptuous, buddy? I would have smashed that mirror on his head.
That happened to my Mom when she was in college. This dude showed up at her door with a cake and told her God said she was supposed to marry him. She shut the door in his face.
When I was around 8/9 I got the “piece of gum” talk from an adult in my church, and the whole bit about how sexual assault isn’t the man’s fault. Later that year I was assaulted (as an 8 year old) and blamed myself fully for it even until recently, and thought that my partner wouldn’t want anything to do with me because I was “used”.
I've been wondering for a few years why cults like the Institute in Basic Life Principles / Gothardists or the Independent Fundamentalist Baptists don't have any interest in preventing crimes like that. Until some of those purity culture based sects start saying something for themselves, I can only presume the church aristocracies are motivated by malevolence and a desire to see innocent people, specifically women and children, suffer as miserably as possible, and a disgusting compulsion to kick people while they're down.
I was assaulted at 5 I was a whore because I didn’t fight at all. I remember being confused why he wanted to tough me so bad it meant nothing to me. I’ve fantasized about killing people who were my caretakers because they made it ten times worse saying I was off slutty as a toddler
I remember when my church did it's sex night sort of thing. It was insanely boring except for when the the counsellors tried to do the whole gum chewing thing. They chewed the gum and they were going around the circle asking people if they'd chew it and one kid just asked what flavour it was. So the counsellors just said it was spearmint so the kid just grabbed it out of his hand and started chewing.
At a church camp I remember someone using something like this to describe why god was an awesome dude and why you should choose not to "sin". Basically the analogy they gave was god could have made everything taste the same but instead he gave us options but we should choose to not eat stuff that was bad for us. Mind you we were all teens so needless to say the analogy was very childish and infantilizing in hindsight
@@xenonsan3110 The funny thing is that food is about the only pleasure they don't regulate. Eat up at those church potlucks, folks! My mom didn't exactly teach me a healthy relationship with food.
Myaybe but also divorce being frown upon by boomers, even amongst the less religious. Also as you grow old you might be economically trapped which makes divorce impossible.
I'm not married, but my friends who are married have told me that though marriage takes work (and even friendships can take work), it's not that difficult. The message I've heard within the church is always this horrible thing that is so difficult all the time. Maybe they're playing into the narrative, but fuck, it sounds awful.
My high school (public) tried to ban a girl from walking in graduation because she was about 4-5 months pregnant. This was 1985. The entire senior class threatened to not show if they didn't allow her to walk. They caved to our pressure thankfully
I got broken up with cause the dude I was dating thought he was going to hell. I said see ya! Glad I did, cause I later learned he followed a girl around at the place he worked then told her, "It's ok if everyone thinks you're a whore. God still loves you." Yeah.
And then there was my best friend, who broke up with her boyfriend because she discovered that he was scarily controlling. He came to me me and whined about how SATAN broke them up and GOD wanted them to still be together.
Purity culture creates the women men in the manosphere complain about!!! Daddy issues yup purity culture, damaged goods purity culture, all the problems with so called modern women can be traced to PURITY CULTURE
One story I found interesting from a few years ago was a couple that hadn’t had sex in 20 years of marriage. They both came from very Christian upbringings and found even though they loved each other dearly they just couldn’t have sex with each other. Now because it was dr. Phil they were a weird spectacle and obviously defective, but I honestly believe they were two asexuals that because they weren’t allowed exploration or sex language couldn’t figure this out.
Dr Phil is just weird in general. I was watching a episode with my mom once with this guy who needed to jump start his life because he was still living at home and refused to get a job but had a stable long term, long distance relationship. I said it's not that weird that he has a long term/distance gf, plenty of people I know have those and my mom just kind of was in disbelief lol
Asexuality is just the lack of sexual attraction or rarely having sexual attraction. It doesn't really have to much to do with not having sexual exploration. The fact Phil found odd people don't have sex is ludicrous. I don't understand why people put so much importance on sex. You either have too much or have too little. It's not that big of a deal.
@@GrandCorsairI didn't have the ability to recognize I was ace until I explored what the identities actually mean, read different people's experiences, looked objectively at myself and the people around me. When I was in religious circles, that wasn't possible. Anything related to sex was assumed to be universal and shamed. I was ace all along, but I didn't realize until I left religion.
Lmao. The gum analogy would be super confusing for me, since I would chew through like a pack of gum every other day. I probably would have ended up saying something dumb like "Oh, so I need 16 a day? That's too much marriaging."
I remember as a teenager in the 80s, picking up a magazine that said it explained sex (because my mother sure as hell wasn't going to talk to me about it) and how all this magazine talked about is how sex is going to hurt the first few times and basically trying to scare young women off of trying it. Also was a very big part of my Catholic upbringing and just culture at the time- abstinence was definitely the buzz word in those days. I definitely had friends that got married very young in order to feel ok about having sex and are now divorced because they figured out in the long run, they didn't really like that person. And plenty of women who didn't learn to enjoy sex until much later in life because of the shame associated with it from when we were younger.
@@nenmaster5218 I love Drew. His videos are solid information and well made. I'm sure you've seen that he regularly has Christians post about how they still enjoy his videos, and that's so important. Him being accessible to so many Christians is encouraging.
I'm a bit younger that you are, but having been a catholic youth minister in the earlier 2010s, I remember phrasing it as chastity. I have absolutely no clue if that was common in other parishes, but I would imagine it is, seeing as it's pretty common in the Catechism. It's always cool to see a fellow former Catholic here lol.
@@myjessicajourney1915 Yeah, but lets not forget that all Channels are different, so its a 'Supplementary'-Issue. Means: Its liike a Puzzle. Limiting yourself ot just Drew would probably be bad (especially, as i would argue, cause he rarely asks the 'harsh questions'.).
@@nenmaster5218 I agree that it's extremely valuable to get a well rounded intake of atheist and sceptic content. And I'm not sure if you're suggesting GMS is all of what I watch, but I'm here talking on this channel. I love Telltale, Paulogia, Jimmy Snow, Jaclyn Glen, Jon Steingard, Heretical Theology, Fundie Friday's and various exvangelical channels here and other social media platforms. I'd recommend all of them.
I know these videos are older, but I just found this channel lol, but I wanted to add, in regards to abortions in Canada, we are actually the only industrialized country in the world with no abortion laws. They were revoked in 1988, because the Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the right to body autonomy, which makes any type of abortion legislation unconstitutional. As a result, abortions are legal here at any stage of pregnancy, for any reason, and it would be nearly impossible to change it. Additionally, under Canadian law, a baby is not legally considered a person until its born alive, so there can never be "heartbeat bills" or the like here, because a fetus isn't protected under the law, even when it's viable. Abortion falls under the spectrum of healthcare, and no matter how many fundamentalists stand in front of hospitals holding up signs or how many MPs say they want to reopen the abortion debate, they can't actually do anything.
You did not revoke them because of the charter of rights and freedoms. You revoked them because your government is filled with God hating liberals. Canada has free speech laws. However, people in Canada have been arrested for saying racist things which should be protected by freedom of speech. If all of the MPs because fundamentalists then they could ban abortion. This charter would not grow limbs and fight them off.
So in Catholicism they tell you that cohabitation before marriage is sinful because sex is bound to happen. They also say that the consummation of marriage (sex) is required to make the marriage valid. So I came up with this “buttered toast on cat’s back” idea where two asexuals get married, move in together, and never have sex! Their marriage is never validated, so they are technically not married but cohabitating; but they are not tempted to have sex.
Yes, it's humorous. For the sake of anyone who could be confused by this, however, please allow me to wax nerdy on the theology: The physical act of love is the _consummation_ of the Rite of Matrimony, not the _validation._ St. Mary and St. Joseph had a valid marriage, but remained in perpetual virginity. Therefore, marriages in which the spouses do not participate in the physical act of love are known as "Josephite marriages" (but not "Marian" because... [see "feminist theology"]). The pertinent matter would be that the couple was _open_ to consummating the rite, if they ever felt the Lord calling them to do so at some point. On the subject of cohabitation, there is more to consider than just temptation. There's also "scandal," which is to say "the possibility that another could be led astray by the appearance of one's actions"
I “made a commitment” to “sexual purity” when I was 12 and didn’t know anything about sex of intimacy or relationships really. It made me feel like I was better than other people who I didn’t understand at the time...didn’t help me at all in navigating relationships when I was finally encouraged to find my life partner at bible college years later. I am glad I left Christianity and evangelicalism and later had sex how and when it felt right to me. If not I probably would have been divorced or in a repressive relationship. Now I am married to a wonderful open minded man who grew up without all of this shame based purity crap. It’s refreshing and I am super thankful, but I know a lot of friends and family are struggling after being raised in that environment.
I remember thinking it was completely pointless for me to even consider such a thing because it wasn’t like I would ever manage to get into a relationship to begin with. I didn’t get in a relationship until I was 20, just like I predicted, and it was great.
that's so reassuring to hear... i'm in a very similar situation now dating a wonderfully open minded man and living my life away from church pressure. i must ask though, did your family ever react negatively to you moving away from purity culture? i'm terrified of my parents finding out i'm not their perfect virgin child anymore
Right. An acquaintance once said to me that she would prefer to get pregnant from rape than consensual sex because she really wanted a baby, but couldn’t have sex because she wasn’t married… yikes
As someone who was forced to live in a Christian based purity culture, it's absolutely true. I remember the gum reference and I remember feeling disgusted with myself for being female. It literally made me hate myself and the fact I was female. Tbh, it was insanely horrific, and I honestly don't know how I survived it as well as I did. I mean, I have a personality disorder from my childhood in general, but the things they had no problem drilling into our heads, both boys and girls alike, was absolutely horrific.
Even though I'm now in a more progressive Catholic school, I'm still heavily influenced by what I was taught. Now I'm just scared of intimacy and feeling inferior to my peers if I engage in sexual activities. It's such a toxic culture
@@spate7207 It really is. Like, I never realized the purity culture thing until I watched this video, and all those memories came back. It really hit hard. And it's absolutely a messed up system that leave people messed up. I'm sorry you're dealing with all that. I hope you overcome it, as you deserve love and the warmth of intimacy. (intimacy is not just sex, for the record.) You deserve better, my friend. 💜
@@MaliaMydnight Thank you so much for your sweet words! I guess I've just finally realised that I'm not really alone feeling this way but I'm not sure how well I can recover from this mindset. We'll see as time goes on then :)
@@spate7207 You are never alone, hun. Ever. When I was told I have BPD (gee, I WONDER WHY 😒) I never felt so alone in my life. But....I wasn't. By a long shot. 😊 No matter what it is, you're never, ever alone. 💜💜 And trust me, recovering from that mindset takes time. It does. Therapy and especially DBT have helped me in literal leaps and bounds in recovering from my past and dealing with my BPD. So if you can, reach out. 💜 And of course! You don't need to thank me, we're all in this together, right? And we all know what it was like, so, I'd rather be nice and lift someone up than be anything else. I'm here for you. 💜
I don't think I could ever have a conversation with any aristocrats in any purity culture based sect without an argument escalating quickly. Why would those people *want* to inflict psychiatric harm on their subjects?
34:19 hey don't blame her for falling for that, that's literally what happens when you raise people this way. Plus this is like the gum thing. Calling her dumb for believing that belittles the whole problem here. It's the culture that allows her to fall for that that is at fault not her
Yeah I thought calling the girl dumb was a little harsh too. Like you say if you were raised to believe in divine messages (totally easy for a deity depicted to be all-powerful) the manipulation would be harder to see. Not to mention even if she did suspect (at least) one wasn't being honest about what they thought they heard, which should she accuse here? I was raised Christian and in truth I'd be a bit baffled if something like that happened to me. It'd also feel a bit rude asking if they were sure in those kinds of environments :/ the leader of that excersise should probably have stepped in there.
i cried whenever they talked about purity culture. i grew up thinking that i would never be loved or get married because of that happened to me. i thought that no man would want me.
22:55 staying in an abusive relationship because I wasn’t a virgin and therefore “used” and “who would ever want me?” He of course loved to reiterate that “no one will ever love you but me.” ….that was me. Even when I was able to leave I kept going back. Finally after 7 years I had the strength to leave. And thankfully a few years later I was somehow blessed to leave “the church” and eventually realized I’m an atheist. I’m finally free (though still in therapy fighting to recover from the religious trauma and psychological and physical and sexual trauma from all the “good upstanding Christian men” in my life).
An unintentional side effect of “purity culture” is that my young mind started to think of the genitals and sex as being impure… and therefore I subconsciously assumed that women would not like sex. This distorted my body image… like I had this unruly semi evil thing between my legs
Before I came out my step dad said that woman were dirty and and never the same after their first time so that's why it should be saved for marriage! HORRIBLE TO SAY. Purity culture is real and is toxic for a lot of people.
Also, if a woman is dirty after her first time, why would her husband want to keep having sex with her? And if sex is what makes her dirty, then it must be the man that makes her dirty, because thats how contamination works: one thing has to make the other thing dirty.
11:00 - When women in my church talked about this to the youth group girls, it always came from a deep place of shame and regret. And the message was that we needed to wait until marriage so we didn't experience the pain they went through. Great episode guys! I'm glad people are talking about these topics.
Nothing like a group of adults standing in front of you, examining the seam of your skort, because they wanted to suspend you for wearing a miniskirt and didn't know skorts were a thing. Or telling you to go put on your winter coat, indoors, because they saw your bare shoulders THROUGH the thin fabric of a shrug that they made you buy.
My parents weren’t devout Catholics, but my best friend’s parents were. At age 13 her dad gave her a sapphire and diamond purity ring. At age 14 I kissed a boy for the first time. She was very upset with me, and it ended our friendship. We had been best friends since we were babies!😢
I’m asexual. I didn’t know that for 28 years of my life. I always thought god would- I don’t know- “activate” my sex drive when I got married. That… didn’t happen. I’m lucky my partner doesn’t mind. I’ve heard stories about people like me where things didn’t turn out so well.
Many many years ago I went to Confession in my Anglo-Catholic Parish, because, amongst other things, I was concerned THEN that I was tending to use other consenting adults in a somewhat permissive and unthinking way. Rather than concentrating on my intent, thoughts, and sense of shame, the priest seemed to me to be fixated on requiring descriptions of the acts undertaken in considerable and repititious detail. It came over, as it were, as rather prurient. It was the last time I attended auricular confession.
I've heard similar stories from young women, how they had to confess a sexual "sin" to an older male (or multiple males) who seemed awfully fixated on juicy details....
@@juanitaschlink2028 you just need to find someone who kisses the way you like to be kissed. Kissing is very very enjoyable when you have someone who shares your kissing style. I've had some really bad kisses and some amazing kisses too.
My daughters youth group had a husband and wife together since middle school. They were not allowed to speak on sex because they had engaged in a sexual relationship before marriage. Instead they chose a couple where the woman hadn’t but the man had because that was much better than a married couple that had sex and were ok
My mom's obsession with my sex life my entire childhood lead to a lot of psychological damage that I'm still dealing with at age 30 and married for 8 years :/
Another statistic about divorce is that you're more likely to divorce with each subsequent marriage. So that 50% divorce rate has a significant portion is people who are divorcing for their second, third, etc. time.
As much as I appreciate this, I have to push back a little on saying the girl was dumb (who had two men saying God told her to marry them). She had been systematically manipulated to defer to men and give away her autonomy rather than engage in critical thinking and in what she actually wanted. That's just what happens under those conditions.
@@rowanisntreal Absolutely they do, and that's cool, but I'm not sure why you brought that up in response? The folks who push purity culture nonsense would probably attack ace people, too
TMI but I’m going to share anyway so that anyone who can relate has solidarity . . . . . . I cried during my first Pap smear because purity culture had ingrained so much shame over my reproductive system
It sounds like purity culture based sects have some kind of dangerous vested interest in making national gynaecological health statistics worse. Shouldn't the ministries want the health stats to improve?
My HS brought in an abstinence speaker who gave an example of a guy who had sex with a lot of women and then couldn't stop thinking about that when he was with his wife. Like that was a universal thing. I'm sure purity culture guilt had nothing to do with that.
“It’s also about compatibility” I’ve been telling my church friends even while active in my last days that purity culture doesn’t make sense... but there’s something about us blacks people and impressing our parents... that’s a big proponent to our brain washing as well especially being from the Caribbean...
The chewed gum analogy was definitely something I found out about after I lost my faith and I can’t relate…. When I was a virgin I ACTIVELY wanted a guy that was “chewed gum” to deflower me because I wanted my first time to come from someone who was experienced and knew what they were doing ✝️✨
I have always maintained that two virgins having their first times with each other is like the blind leading the blind. :)) Now I would even go as far as to say that an experienced person having sex with a virgin is a form of community service.
My friend’s jr high youth group played the ‘I Don’t Want It’ music video while we were on a weekend retreat, and that was their whole sex talk for middle schoolers.
This has to be one of the weirdest recommendations RU-vid has ever given me. It's more than 2 years old, it has less than 20K views, and I don't think I've ever googled something regarding Puritan values. Still, glad I came across this.
As a black girl, I felt really confused about purity in general, it was always associated with whiteness and the more apparent curves on my body made me feel shameful and sinful because my clothes didn't fit like the white girls in my class. In junior high, I had to go to one of those "purity balls" and I cried because I thought it meant that a man had to control me and if I didn't, I wasn't a good person and should feel guilty.
It could be argued that staying abstinence until marriage is both beneficial in general and especially beneficial for the black community, because of how prevalent single motherhood is among black Americans and how that ties into generational poverty and, frankly, crime rates. Many people would argue that you -- and your children -- need purity culture more than anyone.
@@placeholder4216 So I come from money, have an M.A., make six figures, speak 5 languages and am well traveled with no kids. Achieving those things had nothing to do with purity culture, it was the discipline my parents instilled in me. It didn't make logical sense to get pregnant before I was ready. No one should feel guilty for having the healthy body, race and skin God gave them.. Be gone troll 🤣🤣🤣
@@placeholder4216 Holy racism, Batman. Congrats on posting the most absurd, fallacious comment I’ve ever seen on this channel. Your ignorance is scummy.
I’m so sorry that you were victimized by purity culture. I hope you’ve been able to heal that trauma. Also, when creators produce critical content about purity culture, they should address its ties to racism. It’s a significant element, which is evident even in what you shared about your experience.
I will never forget being compared to a car when I was 11 years old and told that no man wants an old pickup on his wedding day. It took me over ten years to deal with the shame that came along with that statement.
I’ve heard of the stick of gum thing. My youth group used the flower analogy. We passed a rose around and everyone was allowed to touch it, smell it, pluck its leaves and petals, etc. when it got back to my teacher, she held the now-ruined flower up for us to see and told us that every time we give ourselves away to a boy, it’s like a petal plucked from the “flower” of our purity. Messed me up for a long time, til I deconstructed.
I had a friend from my middle/high school youth group; Her dad proposed to her mom during a kissing session on the couch one night, since they were waiting for marriage. Long story short, they had a rocky marriage and once their kids graduated high school they got a divorce.
That "God said you should marry me" was weird, I never realized that was a thing. I had a landlord 20 years older than me try that line on me and I couldn't believe it worked with anyone. Also I was Wiccan at the time and he said the Goddess was the Whore of Babylon. Real nice guy.
On the subject of divorce, you are right that it peaked when no-fault divorce became a thing, but it never reached 50%, at most it was like 24%, and some people at the time panicked about the bill passing and predicted the divorce rates would continue to rise to 50% by this time. currently it sits around 2%
Yeah, NO ONE in purity culture ever addressed that asexuals exist which was harmful for me. I remember crying my eyes out once because I thought I'd be a terrible wife as I wouldn't be able to bring myself to give my body to my husband sexually.
Should add that I was taught that sex was God's gift to be opened in marriage and ya know, who are you to deny God's gifts? But I didn't know anyone else who felt like me so I was never able to talk about it.
@@theasexualvampire13 Not to mention that there are also "teachings" that essentially say you HAVE to have sex when your spouse wants it because it's your duty to do so.
My mom literally pleaded with me that once I get into a relationship she doesn’t care if I wait until marriage or not, but absolutely at least kiss them because she saw a video of a couple whose first kiss was at the altar and was like “oh no that’s just the most awful and painful looking kiss ever!”
Thanks for talking about this guys. This fucks up men as well. I was taught abstinence was the way, and sex before marriage sends you to hell. However, I went to public school where many people were fucking, even people that appeared to be devout christians. This contradiction eventually resulted in me leaving the church. Abstinence caused long-term damage to my self-esteem and perception of sex.
I´m almost 20, but can confirm. If you told 11 year old me "don´t do X" and didn´t provide a good explanation you could bet I would at least get curious and look it up, when otherwise I wouldn´t even know about it
Assumptions about actors expressed by members of the the Christian Union in my University forty odd years ago in the UK: The women were no better than they should be, and the men were all gay. Theatre parties were the best!
Right. Also I think it's because it lets the church control the most intimate part of one's life and that gives them A LOT of power. Another thing is that since it's connected to such strong feelings and desires, it allows the church to weaponize them and tell people it's actually the devil tempting them.
I have never in my life have heard the pick up line that Christian men use “because God told me so!” That is outrageous!! That makes me so damn mad, you don’t even know! That is the epitome of emotional manipulation! 😡🤦🏻♀️
"It's like extreme edging." 🤣 This made me cackle because it's so true. The stories I could tell, oh lord lol! It really has the opposite effect that it's supposed to
Ironically it was a gay dude who told me, "Why is it as men we're taught to please ourselves before we're ever taught how to please a woman" why is that???
I was homeschooled by my fundy christian parents and they gave me literally no sex ed except where stuff goes heterosexually speaking and how sex is unpleasant (their word). They didn’t even teach me how to keep those parts of my body healthy. That lack of education directly resulted in me and several friends who had the same “education” getting m*lested and the effects of both the lack of education and the assault are still hurting my life to this day.
Sorry but, they are still obsessing over a little girls sexuality, which no matter what way you put it is creepy as hell, and not to mention toxicly possessive in this case
I never fell for that save yourself for marriage bs, even when I was like 12. At least I was taught to pray to God like you are talking to him, so I used to "talk" to him and came up with the idea that God literally doesn't care if you have sex before marriage lol
I got to experience that gender double standard firsthand. It's boils down to women get defiled (unless it's only one man), and men need to keep women pure. (Male 'purity' isn't even a concern.) It was really funny getting treated like a girl...
That thing about the “dad her boyfriend” caused my friend to be abused by her father and her two twin daughters to be abused by my ex best friend.. the twins where 10
Im a non church going Christian. Although I believe in religion as the blind men seeing the elephant, I still call myself a Christian and believe in Jesus. I appreciate your videos as I mostly agree with everything you say, and have big problems with the church, which is why I keep Ku relationship with the creator between me and him, Instead of involving white men
This podcast reminds me of the movie Blocked that I saw recently. It's a really funny comedy where three girls decide they're going to have sex on prom night, and their parents get wind of it and try to stop them from doing it. It ends up handling the subject in a surprisingly mature way for a movie that includes a scene where John Cena ass-chugs a bottle of whiskey on screen.
Oh boy, John Piper is absolutely insane. Even by Evangelical standards, the man is deranged. I do not see him covered much in atheist communities but he is huge in a lot of hardcore Evangelical circles. I found out about him because this lady who was hardcore Evangelical herself, introduced her to me in an effort to- hopefully- convert me. Needless to say it did not work but I got hours of entertainment out of it. At one point, I even subscribed to his newsletter, it was a weekly (maybe monthly, I forget) dose of highly strained, emotionally manipulative drivel. But in order to fully have the John Piper experience, one needs to actually hear him deliver a sermon. I've yet to check this one out- but I will, thanks for the link!- but the random SHOUTING mid-sentence, the weeping followed by downright sobbing, all delivered in an absolutely manic manner, it's like seeing someone have a mental breakdown. I hope it's all performance but I doubt it. I think Piper has serious, and I mean serious, issues that he should address with actual therapy and not God stuff.
@@Nocturnalux I AGREE. I used to be a fundie Christian and I’d listen to him all the time and oh man the guy basically said yes Jesus is the only way buuuut grace only really counts if you’re a “true” Christian who also is careful to follow all the rules and stuff and pray every day. It’s insane how much anxiety and fear of hell I got from listening to him, all while he was pretending to be so gentle and loving.
@@allisonpinkall577 Oh, I can only imagine how awful that must have been. You know how he will get all whispery and actually sob- or at least make a very good impression of it- only to suddenly burst out SHOUTING about something, usually SIN? It is so disturbing. I can't tell if he does it for manipulation purposes or whether he genuinely is this way, odds are it's a mix of the two, but whatever it may be, Piper is a perfect example of why Calvinism is just gross.
When you were talking about the brother-fucking his wife thing, I always heard that was partially to protect the widow. Since women had very little means in society to take care of themselves, a child became very important in their old age. So the sin was intentionally failing to take care of the widow, not pulling out like those anti-birth control idiots like to say
That's a very generous interpretation, and I doubt that's what it was about. If the goal had been to protect women, they would have made it such that the widow could inherit her husband's property (though she was property, so it would have meant she was inheriting herself lmao). This was a matter of the dead brother's legacy. The living brother was simply put in a position where he was expected to act against his own interest. If he had sex with his sister in law and she gave birth to a boy, that boy could inherit based on his relation between the two brothers. But if there was no male heir, the brother himself would inherit instead. Basically, Onan's sin was... selfishness. He wanted to be sure to inherit his dead brother's property, so he would not risk impregnating his sister in law. On a related note, I always found it weird as hell that Henry VIII tried to obtain a divorce from Catherine of Aragon on the basis that she had been married to his brother for a brief time before his untimely death. The question hinged on whether Catherine had had sex with her first husband. Henry's argument was based on the notion that taking your brother's wife was a sin, but Onan's story suggests that taking your brother's wife is actually obligatory. So which one is it?
Growing up I had a set of friends who all went to Dade Christian Academy with all kinds of purity crap, demerits if you were seen at a concert etc. Take a wild guess as to which of my friends were the first to have sex and do drugs?
Considering the culture is based on a 2000 year old book where women were arranged to be married, often to old men, the idea of no touching before the ceremony was probably pretty common. lol
In my high school we had reproductive biology, contraceptives, and STI education, but they ended by saying that the safest option was choosing abstinence. Of course no mention of LGBT+ folks
Honestly, the best part of DC Talk was Michael Tate's poetry. It didn't happen often, maybe once an album as far as I remember, but when it did, it was decent.
@@michac.8283it's actually a pretty common way to do it. Replace the significantly harmful action with something that hurts but doesn't cause long term danger or harm. It's a way to wean yourself off, ideally while practicing healthier coping strategies to reduce the number of rubber bands over time.
I’m a Progressive Christians (one of those Heathen Episcopalian that existed long before Baptists etc). Anyways, my parents didn’t allow me around any of that growing up on the 1990s Middle School. I was the last year before they rolled back the curriculum in my school (they did allow it for awhile) with a focus on protection and condoms b/c of The AIDS/HIV Crisis. It was better than what happens now. There was a focus on consent too. However, they never ever ever mentioned gay people and the self love “M” people! And what “R” was and wasn’t. I have to give the State of NC that. Until all the helicopter parents went bat crap crazy. After that parents got to chose which class they took. That one (with maybe even more information) or Abstinence only (period). The third option was to go to The Library and learn nothing (I taught and one librarianship lakd books about sex and diseases etc around the library. She was awesome). Most of them read them. I found that so hilarious. Anyhow, this absolutely turns my stomach. Along with the Purity Ring and Pledge. It is so damaging. There is a book by Brenda Marie’s Davies from “God is Grey” called “On Her Knees.” that really deals with the anxiety and absolutely torment she went through in her late teens and early 20s due to Purity Culture.
My parents were not Born Again, but we did go to church. My mother was really puritanical. My sister is 6 years older than me, and when she was 15 my mother, who was college educated and actually quite intelligent found out she was using tampons and got hysterical. She called our pediatrician raving on about how my sister had "destroyed her virginity" and "now no decent man would marry her". The doctor calmed her down and reassured her that it was not the case with tampons, but apparently it was difficult. Later, when my sister was 16, she had the awful experience of getting date raped. My mother blamed her %100 for what happened, and shamed the heck out of her. My mom told my sister she was ashamed of her and my sister "couldn't be trusted anymore" so wouldn't let her date anymore till she was 17. She brought up the idea that no decent man would marry her again. Actually, she married a very decent man. They wouldn't let me date till I was 16, but I was allowed to have boys over to visit, as long as we didn't go anywhere.
