I'm currently in my early thirties and have been single for a long time. I am NOT willing to settle for just anyone as I prefer being alone to a mediocre or bad relationship. I don't have unrealistic standards or extremely high expectations but when you are looking for a good person who is compatible with you it does significantly lower the possibilities of finding a partner. I would like to be in a fulfilling relationship, however, staying single is not the end of the world either. What does bother me is people pestering me with questions or trying to pressure me into lowering my standards, hopefully, one day their words will have no effect on me.
I can definitely relate to that! That was the entirety of my 30s! Hang in there and stick to your plan of finding a fulfilling relationship. I promise you, you will find it! 😊🙏🏻
You know that is something I had actually thought about before - I will get something setup over the next few weeks and that way we can start to connect more as a community! Thanks for the suggestion! 😊🙏🏻
Right? I'm also in my early 30s and never really had the urge to be in a relationship. My relatives and friends have been nagging me to find a boyfriend/husband. I admit I only go out to work and do groceries but I just don't have the energy nor the motivation to go and mingle with others. Maybe by some miracle, I'll get married. Don't have high standards either. Just want a kind, understanding, responsible, and loyal person.
I'm tired of being sexless and affectionatless. Maybe this statement could be true if prostitution was legal...but my God I can only want it for so long where I need to get laid....it's rediculous...I'm a man though.
I have been single since I was 32. 50 now! It’s great but was hard in my 30s. Now, in my fifth decade, there is zero pressure to do anything apart from what I want. It gets easier, guys, stay strong ❤
@@MisticStyles The intention of my comment was to aid anybody struggling with this, as you obviously are. Not to « inspire ». Your comment was not « lmao » as you intended it to be.
@@monicaleond I stayed hopeful but the process became : - Hopeful, Hopes dashed, Recovery, Hopeful again. In between, I kept busy. After a very nasty man, I just stayed in the recovery stage. Minimum to zero interest now in giving any time to the possibility of a connection. I am happy I dated a bit when younger, but it wasn’t to be.
Two things: - I'm single and i take my time to take care of myself: working out and eating well, and because of that i feel and look way better now than i was on my 20s (and also because i have more money). - People stopped presuring me to get a partner when i called them out of it. They wanted me to get a date but nobody wanted to help on that, i asked them to introduce me to their friends, acquaintances or invite me to their social circles but all i got were excuses for no to. So i politely told them to F themselves, and they never brought the topic again.
Your second point always stood out to me. People always ask if you're dating someone or married, but they never have someone to introduce to you or an offer on the table to spend time with you on weekends so you can meet others. And when you ask them how they met their SO, they'll tell you they met in college, at work or online, but then their advice to you is that you'll be single forever if you're not going out every night talking to hundreds of people per week/month. It's frustrating, to say the least.
People pressure you into doing things to make themselves feel good. Whenever they see someone enjoy their life with different decisions being made, they start questioning their own decisions.
@@TheEvilSmiler37well I am 33 I don't have a GF now I am working from home for last 4 years there's no way I will meet someone,All the girls in town are either married or too young to me (like 21 to 23) , I don't want to date someone 10 years younger than me
I'm single for twenty years now. I was divorced at 28.. I'm 51.. brothers.. peace, freedom and quiet times are priceless.. guard your money, guard your emotions, guard your attention and guard your time.. be stoic!!
I’m 29 and will probably be single all through my 30s and I will be happy about it. Sure, relationships look nice and all but the drama and stress that comes with it I don’t want any part of it in my life and I don’t care what people think. I love my peace and space. I see other guys in marriages especially the older guys and they look miserable. I low key feel sorry for them.
When you hit your mid 30’s some girl who is a bit younger than your current age will try to sucker you in. You will think for the first time in your life you’ve found true love? About 1 month after the honeymoon phase is over you will realise you walked into a horror movie!
I met my love with 32 and married her at the age of 35. But I didn't find her in my Western country but in Asia. When I was in your age I thought the same about never getting married nevertheless. But since I found a woman with a more traditional view of relationship and marriage and the same life goals (Work, raise children and retire in her country in peace) we didn't have any major misunderstandings or fights yet. Your point is right however. Better staying single than wasting your life with a toxic relationship.
I turned 40 and let me give you a piece of advice. Don't be very sure of staying single. If ever you do find someone with whom you can get along with, give it a shot. Don't get married but be in a relationship and see if it works out. Very difficult in today's times but do give it a shot as it does get lonely at times later on. But irrespective of whether you find someone or not, be a father figure to someone or something. Teach kids something or get a dog or do something where you're responsible for someone else. A man needs to have that experience of imparting some knowledge and responsibility of taking care of someone or being there for someone and it's a powerful feeling. If you don't, you'll feel a very big void inside of you. Do social service at your local community, or volunteer at your local place of worship, offer to help with the old whenever possible or help out with unfortunate people or get a pet. Something. Trust me no one will tell you this aspect. Most everyone (men) on the internet is just obsessed about money, women, sex, cars but no one talks about these aspects. I turned 40 and that void is frustrating me and I am trying to do things to mend that.
Truth of the matter is, I'm 24 and I've never been on a date, relationships, nor have kids despite me wanting to get to know them, but they never gave me the time of day. Most of my family has been in relationships and marriages. All girls do is cast me aside like i disgust them and it makes me sick, literally sick and it pisses me off. It's never about personality, it was always about greed and good looks. That's why I always feel ugly, depressed and empty inside I never felt good enough for them, and frankly myself. That's why I gave up on trying to find the "right" person because it's pointless and it's like pulling teeth. Damian was right on the Adulterers movie: "love ain't shit anyway".
It’s this mindset that bring women in, they wonder why you’re content without a woman and it makes you more desirable. Sadly a lot of us experience terrible relationships which makes us men focus on ourselves and find happiness alone, finally when we do - that’s when they start to come. At that point we don’t even care though! Wild how that works
Being a single guy and living alone has been one of the best and happiest decisions I've made in my life especially with the life skills I've gained through my job and coming from a war torn country has taught me that people aren't all that special.
@chadguindon6909 its recent m, I met this girl about 5 months ago but it's lasted, sometime if you find the right person they can make you feel more important than someone who's been dating you for years.
I don't feel like an old man. Some people have even said that I look like I'm in my 20s I'm 33 and had to pull out my ID for buying caffeine pills... so I can speak from experience 😂🤣
So true!! If you don't have kids or a spouse you're automatically assumed to be some stunted little boy, if you do have kids/mortgage/spouse then you're an old man who shouldn't go partying at any point, there's pressure to go to seed and be a "dad" - BBQ, baggy shorts, etc etc etc etc.
@@AmazingStoryDewd The 30s really are the dividing the decade though. Similar to how there's divide between being 11 and being 14. It's just a couple of years but you go from being a child to being a teenager (still a kid but there's a massive difference between the two eras of life). Same with 30s, early - mid thirties feels similar to late 20s. But late thirties things are really changing. Most people are married by late 30s. Most people have either had kids or might well never (especially for women). Earning potential is about to peak. Health issues become more prevalent in 40s. I've noticed a massive difference between being 33 and being 38. Just five years but it's felt like 10-15 years of changes. So late 30s is not "old", and these days even 60s is not old in the classic sense. But there is a change occurring in the 30s. The reverse of what happens when you reach your teenage years. But yes, teenagers see anyone late 20s and plus as old. An 18 year old thought I was middle-aged when I said I was 28, once. Which was funny.
@@MP-ut6eb I'll tell you straight up - man to man, real talk. You won't find love with a woman. Realize that the ideal of love you have in your head is too grand for any one person to complete. Find God, create art, write a book, start a business, grind for salary, get stability, confront your inner darkness. As a man, you should always find yourself in work, and in meaningful progress, not in a woman. I won't dismiss your pain, though, but lonliness is a lot like fasting. Painful in the beginning, but little more than a dull throbbing at the end. It'll give you amazing clarity and stoic endurance if you can master it.
@@dontforget3113 Being single gives us the full freedom to get right with GOD, to build into existence once lost relationship, between GOD and creation, between PARENT and child. 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 KJV 32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. this world presents love as lust, and if you`re not always touched, then you are not loved = lies and fear propaganda. All of it because the MK ULTRA PROJECTS from masons. John 15:13 KJV Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. And being ALONE (not on your own) does bring forth sober mind. What I have witness in my short life so far is, souls get together for money and because they are bored. KJV Bible says; Matthew 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? Luke 12:22 And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. Matthew 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
One thing that helped me is changing my "circle". I didn't unfriend my old friends but I spend less time with them in favour of meeting other people that has the same values I hold.
When I was in my late 20's, the woman I thought I was going to marry cheated and broke off the engagement. Ruined me, I didn't get another number, flirt, or ask anyone else out for more than ELEVEN. YEARS. Your early experiences in relationships (being cheated on five times in six relationships, having your 'soul mate' reject you) can do a lot of damage for a very long time. Spent almost all of my 30's single and it sucked; those are the years you do the most self-assessment about where you are in life and what you should be doing. I reached that 'find yourself first' stage about twenty years too late. So I echo your advice, if you're single in your 30s, don't focus as much on being single, but more on being that person you always thought you would be when you grew up.
Being cheated on messes with your psyche so bad. Main stream media down plays this. Cheating is less about sex and more about the betrayal and worthlessness.
@@sanelemvelase7658wow.. I didn't realize the actions of someone else can impact some so deeply. I'd simply have tossed them aside and kept it moving.
I was cheated on at 19 by the first girl i've ever fell in love with that I was with for 2 years and went through thick and thin with. still to this day never loved anyone as deep as I loved her. I had trust issues and also stopped dating most of my 20s because of it. I just gave up and stopped trying. I just let sex come to me and stopped getting it as often. I'm 29 and just got out of the third relationship of my 20s and now I'm far less optimistic
I feel your pain, it happened to me and I literally feel like a different person now. My entire perspective on the opposite sex after so many bad interactions scares me. I'm legit mad at women, I don't want to be, but it simply does not get better.
In my 20s I was poor, ill, depressed, weak. In my 30s I solved most of this problems. I always believed that powers will return. And powers returned along with health. Youth was crappy, dont want to go through again.
For me my 20s was egg but my 30s has been your 20s. I turn 39 in a month and for me I'm gonna make damn sure my 40s KICKS ASS. Great physique, great health, lots of money, nice lifestyle, plenty of young women, and great male friend group.
Definitely, don't couple up because of pressure. Im in my 30s and I was able to really get ahead, financially, mentally, and emotionally staying single. Crappy relationships at any age will mess you up.
I am there, and theres still no fucking one in sight. 30 years old, built my ass out of the ground im doing fine today. Havent seen a single girl in sight and trust me on this I tried! Why?????? What the fuck am i doing wrong?????
My cousin was well over 40 when he found his now wife. I'm 38 and I'm not going to settle down just because others tell me to get married and have children. Yes, I'd love to have a committed relationship, but I'm not going to rush into it. I did that with my previous partner and it fizzled out rather quickly.
I'm 27 going on 30 coming up. I never really had a bunch of luck in my dating life, but truthfully I think that this video is a reality I may likely face in the future. Dating isn't easy, that's for sure.
You'll be fine but things are about to change and you have to be ready for it. It may be happening right now or very soon. Most of the good ones have or are currently partnering up and you are about to pass into that leftover zone. If you have made the mistake of being the 'good guy', its time to grow up and become the 'good man' (aka: have strong boundaries and start rejecting ladies and not worrying about it as it won't be a problem anymore). A lady that is truly interested in you won't penalize you with penalty costs and be expensive for you (reject any lady trying to exact more than a bit of your time and perhaps a coffee date where you are just vetting her... she has to 'earn' a dinner date later and will have to wait or be rejected). You have to be ready do the rejecting that women usually have the leverage to do in their 20's (aka: now you have the leverage... and they're 'used' goods by now so make the mental transition and stop living in your 20's).
I don't understand this obsession about being single, as being a bad thing, as guys. I've been single for all of my 20's, most of my 30's, and 6 years of my 40's. It's not a big deal, really.
I'm 36, just got out of my first relationship, it lasted 1 year, she devalued the hell out of me while switching between sweet and that, I love myself more than ever and I have no issues being single or desire to look for another woman, I'm not saying all women are like here, certainly not, but I don't understand the need for companionship now, really the only thing I'd like is to have a travel partner but even that I'm starting to find the courage to take a solo trip somewhere
I'm one of these chronically single guys and it's not all that bad as an individual. It's kinda concerning when so many other guys are doing ti too tho. I get the whole rising above our caveman DNA and base urges, but something ain't right when most guys don't make chasing tail a top priority. Again, that's not how we should spend our whole lives, but 20-40 should be the time where our biology overrides our logic and we have next to no choice but pursuing relationships with women.
@@blondequijotetbh, people, whatever the gender, are just generally tired with keeping up with society’s demands and uncertainty plus we have enough tech to keep us entertained, distracted. so we are low key doing a revolution against a system thats just too damn draining.
I would give anything to be single in my 30s, being in a toxic relationship in your 30s but your married with kids and cant divorce because you lose everything you ever worked for is literally the most soul sucking thing a human can feel. If I could go back I would just stay single permanently unless I actually found a legit unicorn. Single guys don't stress about something so silly, you have no idea how depressing life can be as a married man.
I don’t know what “pressure” this guy is on about. I’ve always been single and nobody cares regardless. Life is too busy and stressful for everyone to be caring who’s single and who’s not. We’re all gonna die someday anyways so what does it matter?
Another thing worth mentioning is that if you haven't found yourself yet, just try new things that better you and keep you curious. There's no pressure to change but not doing anything if you're unhappy is a bad idea.
I am turning 40 next March and am single from my age of 26. I was never into looking for love and spent my time playing videogames, listening to the music, watching movies, playing football (soccer) or biking. Since my age of 35 I completely quit trying to find love. I see spending times with all what I like and do more effective that wasting my time, nerves and money into something in the end can reject me. It is not perfect to be single, you are on your own but when you learn how to handle life, you will learn how to be single. It is better to be single and rely on yourself than to be in a complicated relationship and unhappy and depressed. I spent being unhappy, rejected and abandoned many times before and simply I do not want to be anymore.
@@flaminiasantuzzi231 I got suicidal when I was your age but only in my thoughts. I was thinking about who would be missing me. After some time I quit chasing women and started to do what I like. Focus on yourself, do what you like, go for your dream activities and enjoy life. You need to be able to be happy because outside is a good weather, because the lunch you had was delicious, because you bought new amazing clothes, etc. Try to be happy on a daily bases.
@@flaminiasantuzzi231 As best as I could describe it (even if this may sounds woefully unhelpfull) First off, have this hobby that can make you sink a damn load of time into it before you 'achieve something'. Then "simply" dont give in an concentrate on that hobby and say that tomorrow you'll do something significant for it. For me, also fitting with OPs post: I'm a gamer but also a modder and self-taught hobbyist modelmaker for mostly strategy games. I like to design stuff really. Whenever I feel down (or in your case like you want to end it) I concentrate not on the gaming, because I couldn't be asked to play a game (I would last 2 minutes and close it), But rather I would hang on the cough, go for a ride or lay down on a bench in yard and think of what next design I could be making. Slowly but surely construct the model in my head and after a while (which could last significant time) I was eager to make it become a reality, or at least start it up with reinvigorated energy which would then again last me a significant time. I can only hope this in some way helps you.
@@flaminiasantuzzi231 Hey Bro, hope you're still with us. There are good days and bad days. The most important thing is to understand that unless you are happy by yourself, relationships won't make you happy either. People waste their lifes in miserable relationships that lead to nothing and aren't even enjoyable. MOST people are miserable in some ways. At 29 I've never had a good relationship. I'm not married. Don't have kids. But I've gotten out of every bad relationship, I'm not married to a wife that resents me, I am not divorced and don't have to pay Child support or Alimony like so many people around me. I take good care of myself. I found a few friends. I make my own money, I do bodybuilding as a hobby, I eat healthy and cook good food and I enjoy the little things. Roof over my head, food in the fridge, no debt, but savings instead. I enjoy the coffee before work. The coffee at work. The sandwich at lunch, a good talk with my favourite co-workers. The meal I cook after work. Hitting the weights and getting a pump. Or just winding down watching a show, a race or play a video game. I remind myself that it's important to do these things and be thankfull that I can. I also don't put myself down anymore. No negative self talk. I'm not an idiot for dropping somethin or forgetting something. It takes practice though. I became aware of my worth and I won't settle for anyone who doesn't make my life better anymore. If that means I stay alone, so be it. I'll have fun in the meantime. Yes I feel lonely at times, moreso when I didn't sleep right and am exhausted. But I never felt lonelier than in relationships where my efforts weren't reciprocated and I was being taken for granted. Have a look at your life. What is good, what isn't as good, what can you make better. You have no control over other people and outside factors. But everything you have control over you can change for the better. And all that IS good you can enjoy if you let yourself. You may feel lonely, but so many people aren't worth your time. Try new hobbies and try to make some friends, just some people who you might like to hang around with every now and then. Also about the suicidal thoughts, I really recommend looking for a therapist. It might help you understand yourself better.
I think fading attractiveness also depends on lifestyle factors like smoking/drinking too much and a sedentary lifestyle. I'm 30, but I still look like I'm in my mid 20's. Great video by the way 👌
Hey, that’s awesome you’re managed to keep some of your mid-20s sexiness! ☺️ appreciate your comments and I agree it does matter how well you take care of yourself! 😊🙏🏻
I agree with you, taking care of your health and some basic upkeeping goes a long way and it really shows after 30. I’ve seen VERY attractive people who are in their 30s and 40s. Plus we are more mature and straightforward the older we get (many of us at least), that’s extremely attractive in my book!
I was single a long time not because I loved it but because I was very shy and couldn’t overcome it until I was 30.I am married for over 25 years now and have no regrets but you have to be very honest about the real reason you are single sometimes
Totally agree. Ive to admit, sometimes i tell myself single is good cuz you have much freedom, but deep down im just terrified of spending time with one person my whole life
Same. Very shy to make a move in my 20s. Women would practically hand me a layup in between their pants and I still wouldn't shoot the ball. That's what severe approach anxiety does to you. Got over it in my 30s too. Wished I got over it in my 20s. So much wasted youth and then I read 20 year olds doing the same thing. Ignoring women and not chasing them just cause some older dude who probably banged a bunch of broads in his 20s and had his fun got married later on and then divorced in his older years tell these young dudes chasing women is a waste of time causing these dudes to miss out a whole ton of their youth.
I'm 40 and I think the same. Any woman I found interesting to ask out on a date, is always already dating someone else, or married. And if she's available, she has children from one or more men. I'd like to have my own children not raise somebody else's. Unfortunately, at my age my options are dating a 35+ single mom (or a woman who don't want to have children) or die alone. I'll die alone then. Fuck it.
@@leoMC4384I am 36 years old female without kids, still hoping to meet a man to have a family with kids. Don’t give up, there are women also looking for guys like you
Society needs to learn to leave men and their marital statuses alone!!! I'm in my late 30s, I am comfortable with my singleness and I plan on living my life as a single man. I was never comfortable with the idea of being someone's boyfriend let alone husband. I get absolutely irritated when people say "Oh, you just haven't met the right one!!!" because there is no "right person" for me. Today, I realized that I was truly meant to be a single man.
I think that you nailed it as being a socialization issue. People see someone doing something not everyone else is doing and think its 'wrong', and want them to be like them because it makes them comfortable. We do it to ourselves too. I think it's important to notice these thoughts and know that people can't make you feel or think anything, we control our thoughts and feelings. If we think we are enough on our own, and that we belong to ourselves and that we're enough, then we will really, truly find ourselves, love ourselves, and realize that relationships can be nice, but they're far from necessary.
I'm 28 now and for a few years I've been feeling this social pressure. Your words about finding yourself first are so true, they cheered me up! Thanks for making this video and sharing your thoughts.
Ive been single since I was 30. I took the advice and worked on myself. I went back to college, got a degree, , took uo meditation, started a community garden , did volunteer work, took up cycling , got fit, bought a nice house . I have good friends a loving family, and haven't had a date in 20years.. Like most men these days , dating has become an hated chore with no upside.
if you're a man and you're less attractive in 30s than in your 20s then there's something wrong with your lifestyle... At 31 I finally found my style of clothing, and haircut, learned a lot of non-verbal tricks, and became much more accomplished and confident which reflects in how I am perceived. I also built quite some muscle since I've been working out for quite some time. I have a bit of gray hair, but women find it hot...
@@chaseattaway1832 Sorry if you lost all hair, but there are a ton of hot bald men. Use whatever you have.. Say, I have very bad muscle insertions on my chest, no matter how much I train it, with no t-shirt it looks horrible, and drags attention, but so what.. this cant ruin my whole personality.. You know what I mean, do things that are within your control.. Good luck, man.
@@RichObiQuanpeople can injure themselves lifting weights at the gym. i have a physically demanding job and never go to the gym, but i am very fit, more than gym goers.
@@archuk6058 you can’t be afraid of injuries especially as a man, that’s just an excuse. But if your job is already physically demanding, you’re already in a better position than most guys nowadays. Most men are slobs.
I would say that one of the biggest drivers of settling down by a certain age is actually biology, more so than others’ validation, youthful appearance, or a sign of societal progress. Unfortunately it’s a harsher reality for women because there’s actual science behind how many eggs we produce that starts to go down after your 30s and especially after 35. If anything, our culture is starting to realize more and more that finding a partner is one of the most important things you’ll do in your life, and that having children is a HUGE life-changing decision that shouldn’t be made lightly. I am more alive in my 30s than I’ve ever been. Fit, financially stable, more beautiful, albeit with a few more wrinkles, and love my own company. But the reality dawns on me that I may not meet the person right for me in time for children (naturally). And it’s a hard pill to swallow. And so I push through and try to remind myself not to settle just because of that biological clock. But I can’t lie, it sucks.
So you’ve always had the strong desire to have children? I’m a guy and I’ve honestly never wanted kids . I’m also very fit and do pretty well In terms of attracting women but I don’t want kids so I have the opposite problem as you. Oh and trust me, in your mid 30s it’s very difficult to find remotely attractive and sane women in my age range that are childless and don’t want kids . I guess my question to you would be if you truly want kids have you put in a lot of effort in trying to meet compatible men? Btw I also love my own company and this makes us even pickier when it comes to choosing the right person because we don’t want to sacrifice that alone time for someone that doesn’t warrant it
Actually it's the opposite. The happiest subset of society is single childfree women because we are expected to work, demanded to pop out their mate's child so he can feel important, and then pretty much raise the child all on our own. Not to mention we are endlessly objectified and treated like trash after we are left single. Look at all the men in the comments calling women with children 'baggaged' because another man impregnated her.
I feel exactly what you said as a man. It has dawned on me I am running out of potential mates. I've never thought about it this way until now. My instinct and desire for a woman and a beautiful relationship has triggered for some reason. I'm a late bloomer. It makes me want to go out there and talk to women anywhere and land dates, phone numbers. But it's such a fragile thing to do. I have to be careful, mindful and understanding of her feelings, situation, interest, comfort level. Exercise prudence. It's very serious business. But also know how to move things forward appropriately prudently and keep it lighthearted. It's a difficult time to be a parent nowadays.its difficult to find someone special enough to date. Most couples I know surprise me they're still together. I guess they have bonded enough or are miserable but not miserable enough to split. had someone made me aware of this in my early 20s or even as a teenager I would have done things differently. Maybe I'd have my own family. But it is what it is. I just don't want to have regrets or panic and do something foolish. And yes finding a partner is something that this society needs to make the youth very aware how significant it is early on.
This video was super helpful. I’m 33 and single, I was in a long term relationship that ended over him cheating, and have been dating but not in a relationship since. It gets depressing reading that men think of us single women in our 30’s as ‘leftovers who couldn’t get it right. ‘ Love doesn’t come when you want it to, and with what I know now it’s gonna be difficult meeting a person who hits standards.
Glad it was insightful Bianca! Don’t worry not all men think that way - you will find the person who values you for you! Enjoy the journey and know that your person is out there 😊🙏🏻
Sending you hugs ❤ Take this time to be your very best sexy self! Go find cool hobbies, I started playing instruments again and learning how to skateboard 🎉 its wild I do sometimes miss having a partner but I feel so much more fulfilled. You got this boo!
Women aren’t married on average in the west until 28-35+ forget what men say. They are projecting their own insecurities of being rejected many times onto women. That’s all it is 😂😴
I agree with you. i am 35 i had a long term relationship ended 2 years ago. I tried to meet men but they tried to use me get me in to bed. =/I never had high stadards or even cared about status. sometimes i think someone likes me but end up in pain. And in 2023 its really hard to find love. I hope that you meet a Great guy soon. so sorry what you gone trough :( its so hard to trust men sometimes and even if we wanna date someone when men try to take and leave, or hurt and leave us girls with scars.
If you stay pretty/fit and don't have baggage you have a good chance of finding a man. Men say that stuff about women past their 20's but most men aren't as age prejudiced as women.
Doesnt matter if you are a Girl / or Guy. its so hard meet the right person even if you dont have high standards. My guy friends around 30-38 they like been used by girls. the same happen to me i am 35. or you spending years with someone and something happens that makes you break up. Maybe you try becuse its a good person becuse you really want to feel loved and becuse you scred put yourself out there online again dating there can be many reasons why you try with a person even if you feel this relationship might not last. sometimes we dont choose to be single in our 30s. i dont like other videos ive seen online that men would not choose a girl in her 30s becuse she is a left over. both men and girl going trough struggles in thier 30s. This is the best video ive seen online this far. Anyways when you are in your 30s you still learnig life. You still young. when you are 19 you think that it cant be so hard and you have time and you try dating and sometimes you dont have high standards yet you find the whrong kind of people and even finding friends can be a struggle for people=P but we still learning how to make better choices and work with ourselves and everything. Everything takes time. there are people that try and try lead them to deppretion and than some people post about people being left overs or something. they judge people for not being smarter. but its not easy to know how every relationship gonna end up. wehave diffrent kind of path and luck in life. its not always by choice. we cant force people to be with us or be with someone by force if we dont love them. but i do think if we have things to work with within ourself and chase people we can end up attracting toxic people. i think something people need to understand we are just humans and we try our best. not every girl is the same , same as not every men is the same. to people that call people left overs maybe this girl tried very hard but was cheaten on, or used, maybe she been trough trauma you dont know. but there many diffrent types of women and girls out there. not every women in her 30s are boring or being single by choice. she maybe tried all her life in relationships. and gets more deppresed when all her friends get married and she get used by men. but she really try. even date guys that isnt her type. everyone has a diffrent story
I'm the girl you talking about. I'm 40 this year and all my life I tried, and tried. It didn't happen. I was abused by men, mostly lied to.. when I understood that ALL of them just wanted to have recreational time with me and no commitment, no love whatsoever, I gave up. Apparently I am unable to attract a partner, MY partner. 😢
Women DEFINITELY have more options....even the below average or "plain" looking ones. It's just not the same for men. There's more single men out there than single women, and a lot of men are even taking their own life because they're unsuccessful in finding that love from a woman.
@@ipercalisse579 Yeah... there's your case, which is true...and I do believe you.... but there's still many women who are single in their 40s and 50s... mainly because they're too picky while they're young. They talk about how they "can't find a good man" or are "ready to settle for a good man" when they're old, and when they were young...they'd reject good/plain guys for "Chads", "Tyrones", older men, or bad boys.😂😂
I'm 35 and I love being single. you live free , live high , taking it easy, go where you want! , stop wasting time worrying about when you're going to find the one.
I'm single cause I choose it. A relationship any type of relationships you have or don't doesn't define life for me. This whole thing especially for women is insane. Relationships are based on attachment and suffering. You can still be happy and successful and fulfilled in life by yourself
The main reason for me why it sucks being single in my thirties, primarily mid-thirties. It sucks because you are right it's a time to get to know yourself, to enjoy yourself in a different more mature way, to finally be comfortable in your own skin and be more experienced and wise than 20's. Running around in my twenties was an immature, insecure and a confused mess. In my opinion, that shouldn't even be a time to get into a serious relationship. It should be about dating around and coming into yourself and the world around you. However, I'm surprised not many people mention this, it sucks trying to find a partner in your thirties because most Superior options are usually taken. They are either married , divorced, have kids. What I've been noticing is that anyone Amy that's my age and isn't one of those three things I just mentioned, they are usually crazy, have personality issues or financial issues. The older you get the harder and harder it is to find somebody who's a great catch without baggage or a life incompetency
20s is not the time to run around and get giddy. Thats what teens are for. 20s is to find a secure life for yourself. Both personally and professionally. If you don't do that then you must face the consequences in 30s and 40s
The "superior options" who are "usually taken" are usually the tall men, who are basically some sort of attractive status objects to women and definitely perceived as winners. If they divorce, they will find another 10 year younger women in a matter of seconds. I have seen this in my friend-circle myself. Both guys over 190 cm have girlfriends/wives 10 years younger. For me of course (173 cm), I'm not considered superior. I'm just the ordinary self-made millionaire. Beginning of 30ties I wasn't financially well off, but lifted weights and dated women in their early 20ties, but Corona struck, I got fat and now women in their 40ties are like it seems the only option. But don't worry youtube, I will now start my ordinary training regime and come back like Arnold. My personal problem with women of course is, that I'm not considered a "superior option", what's ultimatively bad for ego. I'm just considered "lucky". (it took 5 years of my life and 3 attempts to get where I am...).
@@milan51259 I don't have any experience with that. I see men that are completely ordinary in the looks department, not in the greatest shape but that have stable jobs and great personalities and are married with kids. Ur saying women in their 20s. That's way too young in my opinion. I know many women in their late 30s or early 40s who are hot as hell. They looks prime and youthful. The new 30s and 40s is not how it used to be. I wouldn't even want to converse with a chick in her 20s because they are too young, inexperienced and have rarely any wisdom or mental stimulation to give. Who has time to constantly have to school someone
“Because most superior options are usually taken” Bingo! I’m shocked this wasn’t Mentioned in this video or in the comment section! It is true though - when you hit 32-33 and you look around at your options you’ll realize the pool is much smaller than it used to be. What’s worse is if you don’t want kids(I don’t) then it’s even smaller .. in fact I think if you are an attractive and fun guy Or gal in their mid 30s that doesn’t want children yet also have standards that your partner must meet - it’s better off just accepting the single lifestyle. I did years back but I also understand why most won’t be able to do this . Baggage - I remember in a few cases I found women that I found attractive and we clicked in ways but they had baggage that scared the hell out of me . There is no way I was accepting that into my Life. Plus in your 30s you are even more set in your ways and tend to go out less and less the older you get. The energy and Enthusiasm to go meet people just is not the same as it was in your late teens and 20s.
@@lynxo5695 To much negative Vibes with other People. I don't feel well with more than a few Persons in a Room. Can't even go outside without bad Feelings.
I'm 30. And I don't see relationship that makes you complete. I'm happy embracing my single life and my ex went back, apologizing, I don't give a single fck about her anymore. I embraced more of being single. Peace of mind.
With the divorce rate at 50% I think being pressured by your friends to marry is, as you said, more about them wanting you to participate in the crap shoot than genuinely caring about what's best for you. I have a sister who has a terrible, terrible marriage and yet has pressured all four of her boys to get married. I once get angry with her and said, "How could you want your precious children to potentially marry the wrong person when you know how bad a bad marriage can be?" She looked at me straight in the eye and said, "I want them to know how hard marriage is so they don't judge me." Blew my mind.
The way I see it (not from US): - 50% of my generation is single - 50% of couples get married - 50% of married couples get a divorce - 50% of people that stay married are unhappy but lack the courage to pull the plug So statistically speaking you have 6,25% for happiness and 93,75% to be miserable and alone. Thanks, feminism.
@@immortaljanus You really think feminism is responsible for unhappy marriages? Based on what. Any man who doesn't want a woman to feel good about herself and strive to be her best is a loser in my opinion. It's not her that will make the marriage fail.
I've been ugly and uncharismatic my whole life, so I've been single my whole life and I'm 33. Been spending the last year and some change just accepting that some people don't go that thing that people gravitate towards, And you know what it's ok.
No it's not and u know that. I'm like you and this never goes away. 8 years on depression pills and working is the only thing than kept me away from comiting suicide. I got a sick leave for a week and it feels like hell back at home...can't wait to get back to work.
@@flaminiasantuzzi231 Maybe try doing something spiritual? Suicide is my opinion is the ultimate spit on the gift of life you were given by God. It's quite difficult and ugly, but while you are still breathing, you can at least try to change it, it's not something fixed in stone. Delve into literature that can open your views on other things that can help you live through it, and if God wills it, thrive even. Best of luck.
@@flaminiasantuzzi231 This describes me. Working and my one best friend have kept me from going over the edge all these years. People are shallow so if you are born ugly then people treat you/look at you like you're worthless
Ugly people never realize that they are ugly. I am sure you are not bad looking, you probably have faced some hardship & have not been favored. PRAY to Jesus.
I'm 34 and single. I've been in two regular term relationships, each being between 1 and 2 years. My last relationship ended earlier this year so didn't make sense to get into a new relationship until I healed. I don't think it's all over for me, but it seems like a guy has to make a decent effort to tick a lot of boxes before even approaching a girl in 2023.
The other day I saw a video of someone who said “Love is a prayer”. It’s so true. Finding the right person is so hard. So much faith has to go into giving your heart to someone. Be strong my fellow humans. Let’s just be happy one day at a time. ❤
I'm female, 38, never had any relationship. I am considered good looking, and that's the problem. I've been approached by the manipulative kind that looks forward using people far too often for comfort, and just turned them down again and again. Being an attorney and knowing what family courts are like doesn't help me have a good picture of most relationships either. I've always had the misfortune to have the people I liked to reject me or either turn out to be married, else live on the other side of the world, so I guess I'm doomed to be alone. But that's okay. I remember of the family courts and know all is well.
@@Cocoisagordonsetter Yeah, never, ever. And I'm already in one of the easiest countries for hooking up. But it's always people playing games. I hate that. I have this need for a friendship of sorts. I simply feel no attraction towards people I'm not friends with. Thus, relationships pretty much don't work for me. Friendship is truly rare.
@@Cocoisagordonsetter I happen to have some experience and an acute perception of them, which only makes me lose hope even more. I can look at people and tell what they're about to attempt. There's no hope. Only aloneness
@@CerridwenAwel yes, the type of rejection you say happens constantly for me as well. When we like someone, they dont like us back, and when someone likes us, we dont like them back. This happened for me constanly since I was in primary school till now at the age of 32, almost 33. I just cannot force myself to like someone that I don't really like for the sake of a relationship. Can't do it. I dunno, is this considered to be picky? Or we just have bad karma?
I wouldn't say that attractiveness fades at yours 30s. People aren't meant to change much in just a few years, especially in such ages. If they do, it's more a matter of bad lifestyle rather than naturally.
In my late thirties, only recently learned to not worry about living the life others expect to live and live the way I want to live. Being single is liberating.
as somebody who grew up with abusive and mentally draining parents, i have learned to accept that im going to stay alone, it feels depressing and exhausting, but theres nothing i can do outside of work i dont see a single reason to talk to anybody, except for a few friends i have, also i dont like the entire circuss party that comes with a marriage, all the people, the attention, the drama, i cant stand it
Sorry to hear that. Hopefully you will eventually find that you will like to be with the people that you want to be with. Getting over what you have experienced takes time. I wish you well.
I'm sorry for your loss 🙏🏿❤️ I had a friend who passed away this year... He had a girlfriend, and he would've turned 34 in October. High School graduation was the last time I spoke to him, so I never really got to say goodbye..... I will see him again, but until that happens... I'm going to try to live a good life, even if it's not a long one ❤️
Watching this video right after having a really fun celebration of my 26th birthday with all my friends (which mostly consist of couples) I can say that being single has definitely given me the opportunity to save up and buy my very first house. Because of the time I spend working on myself instead if investing it into a relationship, a significant act of progression is now realized. Any future relationship will most likely be better, since I have a solid structure to build it. Always follow your own path. Don't ever give up in life. The future belongs to the brave and the free.
Oh yeah? Try being single in your 50's! Widower. I've accepted the fact that I will most likely die single. The solution? Make a lot of friends and fill your time with activities that make you feel better about yourself and puts positivity in the world.
You're not gonna always be happy single , and you're not gonna be always happy in relationship , couples tend to argue and fight all the time its not easy to maintain a relationship with a little emotional reaction everything can be destroyed , you're not gonna always be happy doing anything , you'll never be happy as rich or poor , not gonna be happy unemployed or employed , you don't feel happy when you're free and bored neither when you're tired and busy , you don't feel happy alone or with people , you have to creat happiness not try to find it
I am 33 and I got married at 22 . Ever since I got married , I am all lonely. I never knew about lonliness before I got married. I was alone mostly during my pregnancy and I took care of my son all alone. Some people make you feel lonely. They neither leave you or live like a partner with you. I have been on crumbs all my married life.
@@1988Allnatural did it for 11 years . His needs are different women in their late teens and early twenties . Sometimes communication doesn't solve anything. He wants to stay married and have a side life too.
Single in my early 30's was one of the best times of my life. I was in great shape, partying and traveling with friends, dating multiple women and whenever i wanted, doing absolutely NOTHING. Ah, good times.
And here I feel so terrible about being single at just 23. I am a guy who turned 23 last month(on 22nd December) and I never had a girlfriend before. I had my first ever date a bit over 4 months ago at the age of 22. She was 19(turned 20 a week ago) and we went to the mall and ate in Mcdonalds and had my first hug ever from a girl but still yet to get my first kiss and I was pulling her cheeks a lot as she is really cute. 2 weeks after the date, she turned out to be mean and toxic to me and blocked me everywhere. She basically just used me for free lunch and to take lots of pics of her so she can post them on social media. For the past 6 months, I also have been crushing on this girl in the class where I go for preparation of exams to get into an MBA B School as I just graduated college 6 months ago and planning to study MBA next. She also just turned 23 over a week ago and she has called me cute before and I pulled her cheeks twice too but I am usually shy near girls in person so she is the one who usually initiates conversations with me and its usually short as I have nothing more to say as an introvert. I do see her with some male friends so that makes me worried thinking what if she goes for either of them. 3 months ago, I went out with this another girl in that same class and she is also 23 but idk whether to count it as a date as we are just friends. We just roamed around our city and then had lunch in a big restaurant and had lots of fun. I did pull her cheeks once while taking selfie but was shy to ask for a hug. We might go out again in Feb probably. I also have been following some girls on Instagram who are in the 21-25 age range who are in that same institute as me where I go for classes. I messaged some of them but only 2 or 3 replied who are all mainly 22 and 23 year olds but its just normal chats. I also have been chatting with this another girl on Instagram for over 6 months. She is 19(turning 20 in April). We used to be in the same school but didn't know each other in school days and only have been knowing each other since July 2023. We are planning to meet up too and eat somewhere as we are both foodies and we send each other virtual hugs in the chats daily and she is really sweet too. But in the end I am still single.
@@manosijroy8282At 23 just focus on building YOU. There will always be women. Indeed build yourself up and THEY will come to YOU. As a man time is on your side and you have a long runway. Now about that pinching cheeks thing...🤔😄😄😄
One thing that’s misunderstood in this video; if men take care of themselves, they will be more attractive in their 30s vs their 20s 95% of the time. Enjoyed the video overall.
Not always, I'm still physically good but I went bald. The amount of female attention dropped off considerably. If you've got good hair genetics it's definitely true that you can still look good (or if you're one of the few guys who look good bald)
me who is male, 36 and his whole life single. I never been married, never had children, never ever had a relationship with a woman. most probably I will die alone. I'm okay with that. there are quite more worst things, which happen in the world
I feel peace realizing it is not my fault people don't love me and that I'm not desirable, and even if it was, I never had any idea how to change it... So why bother about it and add a layer of self hate? It is what it is. Not ideal, not fun, not comfortable... But I refuse to make it even worse.
"A crappy relationship will not solve your problems" - ha really wish I would have taken that seriously in my late 20s when that pressure started getting to me. Now in my early 30s and looking at divorce #2... guess that didn't work lol
It probably matters more to those of us that want to have kids. It's not just about finding a spouse. It was so much easier to meet single people in high school. In your 30s all the women already have kids and or are married. It's like being late to a party.
Very true! Time does add pressure for those that want to have children. Keep looking and you will find your special someone! Trust me, as a former non-believer in finding the right person I can attest that they are out there if you don’t give up! 😊🙏🏻
Plus in your teens it’s not only easier to meet girls but dating is so much more enjoyable and simpler then. Our youthful mindset and energy at that age really makes it special.. when you hit 30 or so - the jadedness has kicked in and you are now suspicious of the people you meet.. that same enthusiasm and energy has been replaced with something worse.
So true if you buckle under the pressure to find a relationship leads you to the wrong relationship. I have witnessed a lot of people both men and women settling in a relationship (when they don't quite believe in being worthy of a good enough relationship) and choosing the wrong relationship. Being in the right relationship, although there are no perfect relationships (good enough) can truly enhance your life. Self-awareness is the key to finding a happy relationship.
Sometimes I feel the social pressure really intensely and I try to explain to people that I’m miserable with my life now, desperate to find my purpose and confused about who I am as a person so there’s no way I’d be a good partner or father to anyone. But they just look at me confused as if I’m just not serious or something. It can get annoying cause it’s like talking to a brick wall.
Whew. I can relate with all of what you said, but as you get older you lose the need to explain yourself and you'll give a more simple and straightforward answer, such as "you know I'm really not in that headspace for xyz at the moment, perhaps in time it will come to me."
Biological clock for women starts to slow down in 30s making it harder to have kids. If you don’t meet someone until your early thirties, you get to know them, develop relationship before having kids. Then you’re trying for a child 35,36 and might struggle.
Dude, first time coming across your channel 1st time watching your video you make absolutely sense. Thank you for being there for guys like us. God bless you.🙂🙏💯
One thing I've noticed is most of the folks who bug you about marriage are not doing so necessarily out of concern for you, but, rather, out of a deep desire for validation through you. They are going through things, and they're starting to have doubts. So, how dare you not wear a ring and confirm that they made the right decision after all??
Yes! Couldn’t agree more! People want you to be like them. It’s validated their choices in life if you conform to the same things as they have. Thank you sharing 😊🙏🏻
I’m 31 years old , never dated never cared , I was looked at funny for not having a suitor I love my solitude and enjoying my peace and not dealing with drama ,it’s best to be you and not impress others for their gratification.
As someone who is 33 and has never had a relationship, I think a crappy relationship is perhaps still better than no relationship, because it at least would give me some experience (even if negative, I'd taker it above this pointless lonely existence I am living), and having a history to talk about with future potential partners makes me seem like less of a red flag. At least if you have a crappy relationship and then split, at least when people ask you about past flings you can say "I was with someone but it didn't work out", which sounds much better than pushing 40 and saying "I have never had a relationship". And sure, you could lie, and say you had a relationship even if you didn't, but people know... Lying is never the way to go...
Not a bad idea, but just make sure you don’t have children or get persuaded into it until your really sure about the relationship, because a break up with kids in the mix is literally a nightmare.
you are completely wrong about this, believe me, since i had many crappy relationships. they cost you more than you think. they actually prevent you from being with somebody who matches to you.
@@dali1384 how do they prevent you from being with someone who matches you? I honestly wouldn't even know who is a match for me without first trying being in a relationship first and seeing how it goes.
even though i do agree with your opinion on that matter, i think the the key for self discovery - even if you already found it, it's transmitting it around your environment.. and only then the right partner will arrive.
Thank you for mentioning "finding yourself" part. I have been sober for 9 months now. I got a year last time. I met a woman, and I am now 9 months sober. Love yourself before you love someone else.
Well I have just turned 60 and I am still single. There is nothing wrong with me. I just haven't found the right partner as yet. I have looked been involved in many groups getting out there and meeting people. I think if it's something that is meant to be then it will happen, but if it doesn't then I can be ok with that as well. Your only as lonely as you let yourself be. I have many friends and I have been involved in sporting groups and other groups just to meet new people it doesn't matter that I am still single. It's much better being single then being in relationship when the other person might try to dominate and pressure you in to things that you don't want to. I am happier with that frame of mind than being in a wrong relationship.
I never married, and I've never been interested in relationships or things like that, and I've been happy being single, even now at my age of 51! I prefer my independence!
I was single in my 20's and I am single in my 30's. People aren't interested in me and I feel like I am not good enough. All I have is my job and I don't even have friends. I give up!
Man, relax. I lived in 4 countries in Europe, I had 6 girlfriends during that time. I broke up with my younger fiancée couple months ago and I'm moving back to my country. I don't care what people think, I'm just living my life. I like to be alone, I'm never bored and consequences of being with someone and responsibilities for a relationship are high. I don't feel that I met a right person to take it. Not yet.
It's weird as a single male mid 30s, all your life you are told work on yourself and someone will find you, like I csnt anymore. I work out six days a week and in the best shape of my life, make six figures, own my own house, car and stuff. What else can I do? I cant drink milk and grow a few more inches to be six foot
Then dating shouldn't be a problem for you. Even if you are short. I'm 5'8 (173 cm to be exact, is that 5'8? I think so). When I was 31, some years ago, I was dirt poor, but well trained. It wasn't any problem to find a woman at all. App-dating and dating in general but in eastern europe it was 5x easier than in Western Europe. Women in Eastern Europe simply weren't used to see a groomed and fashionable, trained foreigner, as they are in Western Europe. Dating in Germany for example (Germans => quite tall), though was quite impossible. There it's over if you are Southern Slav and short. Simply put, everywhere where the women are used to very tall man, chances for us shorties are abysmal. In Germany I used to date what I could get, the fatties (yes, for real, as a muscle man). In Budapest, I flirted on the streets with the most beautiful students, well dressed (like me), 10 years younger than me etc. I couldn't believe it. This was something totally new for me, as I'm used the instant rejection or just being ignored at best. I made very good $ the last years in Crypto and will move next year to Budapest ;-)
As someone who's in their late thirties,(2 years, 6 months til the big 4 0), I've come to find that being single for so long has left me not caring about finding a life partner anymore. This guy makes a lot of sense... to me at least.
Single all my life, don't see a reason to change that. Even being around friends my social battery lasts no more than a few hours, I would go mad if someone else was in my house all the time lol.
Being single in your 30's is rough, it's like your last chance of having the family you've always dreamed of having is about up. Once you get in your 40s, 50s, and start into your 60s it gets a little easier. You have no choice but to accept that all hope is completely gone, you'll be single the rest your life and you have no other choice but live with it. At least you're closer to all the pain being over than when it started.
I realized I am asexual in my early twenties, and now I think I might also be on the aromantic spectrum. I'm not entirely opposed to having a romantic relationship, if the right guy came along, but it's not a priority for me, nor do I feel ready for one. As much as I like love songs and shipping fictional characters, I'm frustrated with how society treats romantic relationships as the most important relationship. I don't really like most real-life couples, because they're almost always straight couples, where the guy is taller than the girl. If I wasn't living with my family, I would avoid couples as much as possible, only becoming close with fellow singles. The last thing I want to do is make the same mistakes my sister made in her relationships. I speculate that there was some desperation on her part, since she chose to get into romantic relationships, despite not being able to financially support herself. I feel like she should've prioritized working on herself, becoming financially independent.
Bro I’m 25 , it’s been rough socially my entire life , I don’t have a link to people my age anymore after college , it sucks i want a re-match on my whole life now with what I know , I hope I don’t die with that whole in my heart , stay active guys I’m/we should still be hopeful to find someone, god if you exist I trust there’s a reason why I’m still single , when I reach my dream of having my own country I will know it was meant to be , if I don’t succeed pls help me more in next life or delete my soul forever pls.
I've been married since my very late 20's, so maybe not the same perspective but I agree with almost all of this. I think one of the top 3 reasons should be a female's biological clock though. So many ex girlfriends had a timeline for partying, travel and career before kids. I honestly think most guys wouldn't be in the same rush if the opposite sex weren't either.
My biggest problem is my job as a chef. 30 years later I still have very little time to peruse let alone maintain a healthy relationship. I’m happy with myself and don’t get lonely but was fortunate enough to realise that I needed interests and routine to fill the gap. I really struggled with that in my 30s and 40s. At 51 I’m better at life in general but still single 🤷🏻♂️
