The Dark Truth Behind The Toxic Dating Culture In KPOP 

It's honestly sad, being single isn't a bad thing but knowing how much of a tough life a kpop idol must have, in my opinion they SHOULD have freedom to date interact and just do stuffs cuz when your on top u will be lonely one or the other time. It's understandable that being a public figure one must have limit things that are normal for other person for their own safety and other reasons but that doesn't mean anyone has a right to violate their basic needs and right. Dating must not be used as a mean of money making its personal

Getting rid of the dating ban as soon as possible is extremely important. It's probably the number one reason why obsessed fans treat idols like fake dolls that exist solely for their entertainment and not as actual human beings. I think that if it didn't exist a lot of the other crazy standards we hold kpop idols to wouldn't exist either.

They are adults and they do date, it's just not allowed publicly because of the problematic fanbases & their image as idols. Dating is normal & healthy and they should be free to be open about relationships because they are human not robots. They want to be happy having relationships & loving who they want to, instead of everything being hidden. This is the toxic thing in the kpop industry & it needs to change.

Chen from EXO dated behind the scenes announced he was getting married and now has 2 children a few weirdos wanted him to leave but now he just got back from the military he's still going strong as an artist with EXO and even as a soloist he even has schedules to perform internationally this just shows that delusional fans should realize idols are not their properties they can do what they want they are adults for god's sake ofc idols are thankful for the fans support but not in any way they forced these weirdos to support them and made them think they would marry each other if they keep streaming or buy albums lmao it's just so disgusting that they could think of cancelling an idol just because they want to have a LIFE and LIVE their LIVES as a normal person

"Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters." - John Mark Green

Idols deserve to fall in love just like any other human. They aren’t robots or slaves. Let them live and love!

This is one of the most toxic things in kpop thanks to “fans” having they’re own fantasies of being with kpop idols themselves…this is clearly why i said “fans” aren’t really your “fans”😂

When the dating "scandal" of Hyuna and Dawn came out, I read an article explaining the mentality of the "fans" who boycots an artist if they were ever got into a "scandal" because I'm confused as to why it is considered a "scandal" when in our country, celebs are more popular if they are in a love team. So basically, when those "fans" supports those artists by buying their albums, cheering them on their performances, etc., they are into that illusion that they are the gf/bf of that artist. They feel like they are the one behind that artist's success. So when they find out that their idol are dating someone, they would feel betrayed/cheated on.

you will never see dating be labelled as "scandal" in any entertainment industry BUT korean.

People really gotta let idols date it's there life and they are not our servants who will listen to us and do everything we say, it's ok at some point if you think the girlfriend/boyfriend is toxic to the idol but if they are not we can't do anything about it, let the people you love free please

Dating ban is so stupid. Everyone wants to date, everyone wants to love, be loved. We do not own this idols, we simply just like them.

Being banned from dating is ridiculous But keeping your dating life private is probably one of the smartest things any celebrity can do

"Why can't the companies/fans just let the idols date in peace?" The answer is super simple, and not really mentioned in this video or the comments: it's a business model, and it PROFITS them. It isn't related to the reputation of the idols or whether they will or won't be able to focus on their activities fully, this is simply about money and where the biggest sums come from, and how a big majority of the kpop companies are GENUINELY dependent on such sources of income. This is one of the most competitive industries in the entire planet. To get your hands on the resources that allow you to continue your business as a kpop company (sponsorship deals, investments, music show wins etc.), you MUST first take a huge risk and invest a lot of money on the idols. Like a lot lot. 400-1000 dollars per outfit per member per music show. Up to a million dollar in costs when making the music video shooting in and of itself. Keeping a HUGE ass team behind the scenes well fed and paid so that they are able to plan, coordinate and execute the making of a successful comeback and everything it takes (choreographs, song editing, filming, outfit designs, promotional schedules, album designs, makeup art...) - the price tag of all that is astronomical. In other words: to become successful in the kpop industry you have to pretend you already ARE, and overspend your budget five hundred times. Go big or go home. Such expenses CANNOT be covered with traditional methods alone, such as regular album sales and occasional concert tickets - no, this is where invasive and obsessive fans come into play. The company enables parasocial relationships between the fans and the idols, because that's how they will ensure that those fans will start buying albums and other merchandise in bulk, send gifts to the idols and sponsor their lavish lifestyle. The dating ban helps these fans stay immersed in their fantasy, and that is a very deliberate marketing strategy and a psychological trick that ensures that there is always a source of income for the company - if not from actual success and sales in the general market, then at least from the most obsessed, fanatical fans who are ready to empty their own bank accounts to "help" out their imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend. Such fans are also the ones with huge fansites - they're the ones who pay for public advertisements and birthday activities, they're doing FREE LABOR for the company. You can say anything you want about such fans, but the reality is that they are often teenagers and young adults with mental health problems and the industry is taking advantage of them at their most vulnerable state. Yes, even when the idols are at risk of being harassed, their boundaries broken and their privacy compromised, yes, even when the fans themselves become so delusional they can no longer work or go to school normally. Because in the end, it's the ONLY way for the kpop companies to get a slight edge over the hundreds of others who are fighting for the same awards with the same tools with the same rules on the same exact playing field. And they will do it until they no longer have to, and can rely on actual sales... which is exactly where the "dating ban", actually enforced or not, is then lifted. Not a second before, though. This is all to say that no, realistically speaking we're not going to see the dating bans disappearing from the industry any time soon - it's an invaluable psychological trick that ensures the companies and groups will survive through the first couple of years, and they have no reason to stop doing that as long as their careers are at stake.

The wriedest thing ive heard when i got into kpop was that dating is a big deal! In other industries people actually are happy when celebrities date or why nit here? Ok thank you everyone in replies for telling me why it's so, I'm still a little new!

The dating ban seems to be a shield of idols' picture perfect life rather than an actual Ban. But it sucks to know that they have to put a front like they are banned to date because of these toxic delusional fans: not to mention the saesangs and shippers-

Companies wouldn’t have to do that if the fans didn’t feel entitled to their idols private lives. Constantly demanding explanations and announcements like they own them. At the same time, fans wouldn’t be so obsessed if companies didn’t market them as an achievable fantasy lol. Exaggerating the term ‘idol’ and presenting them as these kids in their early to late 20’s who never dates, curse, doing adult stuff like drinking/smoking/sex, etc. Then there’s the normal fans and normal company like pnation who doesn’t give a fuck and just appreciate the artists for their work, having visuals as only a bonus.

"Male and female idols can't even be in the same room just in case they fall in love" all the gays and lesbian idols: ...

I don’t even care at this point-I came here to enjoy the music and support the artists. If they’re dating someone, good for them! I would support them for sure

That’s the reason why I hate Dispatch. They’re always ruining everything and inviding their privacies😒😤

Maybe it's because I'm not delusional and already have an SO, but I'd honestly love to see my favourite idols being happy in their relationships. I love watching how sweet Dawn and HyunA are together. They shouldn't have to hide it unless they want to. Fans being upset by it are ridiculous and need to grow up. You should be appreciating these idols for their talents and respecting the parts of their lives they choose to remain private. Anything else just shows you aren't a true fan and need to go find a life of your own.

I dont know if thats just me, but I would love to see my favorite idols in a happy relationship. Or just in any relationship at all. These experiences make you learn a lot about yourself and others. Also it would make idols more relatable and loveable for me. Hope there are more fans who think like that :)

The fact that Ateez doesnt have dating bans, and Atiny's are so cool about it, even at some fansign event wooyoung was teasing yunho about his co star of imitation , and atiny's were just laughing. They have no jumping ban instead.. 😆😆

There is nothing wrong with idols dating. Everybody should be allowed to experience love. It's just detrimental that idols can't or it has to be kept a secret. When it shouldn't be. My favourite singer Rain is married and I don't give a f***. He is still amazing.

I think it's not dating that should be banned IT SHOULD BE DISPATCH... 💀

It's a really sad thing when companies and even fans themselves can't even give them a break and let them live their lives; it's disturbing, sick, and disgusting that fans can't let idols breathe; after all, they are human too, just like us!!!

I think it's crazy they can't date publicly without fans being mad.. it's a shame.. long as their parents and family approve and their happy why does it matter who they date or date period?

I think there is a fundamental difference between idol culture and celebrity culture, which also explains the difference in how dating is handled: In a celebrity culture, the thing that is sold to the public is spectacle. So, anything that can create a spectacle for audiences to engage in is good. It can be the illusion of unfiltered access to a celebrity's personal life, it can be about their grotesque excess or very public breakdowns, or things like making a specacle of their dedication to their work (e.g. when preparations for a role make actors look/act differently in public and it becomes the talk of the town, or when musicians show how their music is related to their own experience like break-up albums etc.) Of course, dating publically usually creates a marketable spectacle in this environment and there is no reason to ban it. Idol culture on the other hand sells fantasies. In order to pull in as many categories of fans as possible, the idol's public persona has to leave a lot of room for all kinds of fantasies fans might want to project on them (girlfriend/boyfriend fans, shippers, "mom fans", friendship goals etc). Idols are not exactly empty canvasses, they do offer some indication for the type of fantasies they want to attract, because idols do have an image that they adhere to, but they are carefully curated. Note that this does not mean that they don't have personality, I think successful idol images have to build on the foundation of the individual idol's personality. It also does not mean that they are less authentic than celebrities. Celebrity images are also curated, they just focus on different aspects, because catering to spectacle vs. fantasies have different requirements. Note also that it is not exclusively an East vs. West thing. 90s boy bands in the West, and teen pop stars like Brittney Spears in the early stages of her career and acts starting out on Disney Channel, initially sold fantasies in the same way idol culture does, and they often also didn't date publically in the initial phase of their career. Though in the West, they are usually expected to transition into celebrity culture at a certain point. And I don't know enough about Korean entertainment outside of the idol industry to know if they also have celebrity culture there.

I Really don't want see the point of a dating ban some K-idols are dating and some fans are just toxic before they were even idols the could have been dating it's just the fans lowkey there humans and all humans get to pick there own choices Fans should just still chill

How delusional can someone be to think you as a fan, would be able to have the chance to date an idol...

It’s just weird and I don’t want to hear anything about it being a cultural thing, it’s not the norm for regular non celebrities. Imagine telling young adults and adults that they are not allowed to have personal relationships during a time in their lives where those connections are most vital. Just because it will hurt some random delusional “fan’s” feelings.

I will never not blame stans for this. They're delusional to the point that they can't see idols with anyone but them and don't even try to understand that these people are humans too. They need love and compassion. Not just from fans, but from a long time partner as well. They want to be happy and everyone is entitled to be. Some of y'all need to step back and let that happen. Just imagine being the reason another human is sad, depressed and lonely because of your "if I can't have them, then no one can" mindset. Kpop stans need to grow up

JYP was literally giving ITZY dating advice during the 3 year “dating ban” so I definitely think it’s more of a ban on making your relationship public.

dating shouldn’t be banned, however exposing idols who are dating should be banned. idols are people, just like us, their personal life should not be treated as drama, it isn’t any of our business!

I knew it from 1st day every idol is dating(can't say about 4th gen) even every member of bts are dating(or dated several times)...fans are on weed if they still thinks their idol is available for them🤡

dating should really not be banned in kpop 🙁

Teayang and Boby from YG, they have already wife and children btw

I am sad to realize that these idols are like prisoners who need to satisfy the delusions of most fans who believe that the artists have to sacrifice personal matters like dating. I am also a fan, but whatever my idols do or decide on regarding their own lives have nothing to do with me because it's their right as human beings. I'd like to see them connect with other people thru relationships because this is healthy and normal. Being a fan and follower, I understand that I shouldn't expect these talented artists to love me or give anything back in return. This is an entertainment business in the sense, we have to accept that there is no relationship between us fans and our idols. We all have to accept that one way or another. 🙈🙉🙊

I’ve seen some people make the argument of idols needing to “focus on their career” and saying how they should have bans at least for the first few years which is so dumb cuz literally what other industry or job would you do that with

Growing up in US (and sometimes swooning over my fav celeb relationships) I don't get it at all. Like seriously HALF of fans will abandon them for having a chance at happiness? What kind of creepy celeb/fan relationship is that and why is it encouraged?! I get the focus on your work part (which is why a lot of Hollywood relationships don't work out) but if I'm truly someone's fan, I want them to be happy. And if it doesn't work out usually great art comes out of that too so. Seriously I still don't get it

i find ur voice so satisfying to listen to, and the way ur voice became softer when u said "ai shinozaki" , 😍😍

I cringe everytime I see the fandom complain when a comeback is delayed. If it's rushed and released on time but with errors/mistakes/inadequacies there are also complaints. Seems like a 'no-win' situation.

I refused to believe from the start that these idols haven't dated or are "innocent". Fans who think that kpop idols belong to them and them ONLY. Y'all need therapy asap!!!

Kpop idols is not your wife/husband.

i fully support artists having dates. They are human as well. this kind of behavior from fans is not healthy for neither the artists of the fans.

Yow it brings tears to my eyes that K-pop idols can’t live their life and date who they want I wish them love and positivity ❤️❤️💗💗💗 we need a K-pop rebell

It's sad that a group loose fans if they are dating or married

Okay but Jackson learning a whole other language just by fighting with someone is hilarious

When You don`t support someone because he is in love. You are not a Fan or a good human being...

It must been difficult for female idols who want to date, but fans, might get jealous & come after them. 😕

0:34 for those so called fake exols saying "glad it's chen and not a popular member" just leave if you want others will get married too. They have us. I'm so proud of chen, he really took a huge step and keep shining. he's the main reason me being an exol today. And he's not a "non popular member" if it wasn't for him exo songs would not have those angelic vocals. Remember the power logo if you took out a one hand out of it, it won't complete

Honestly I think everyone needs to come out with who they’re dating around the same time so these crazy fans have no option but to accept it there won’t be any other pure option for them

yeah bts doesn't have a date ban anymore but imagine world war 3 when one of them revealed he's going to date xxx or marry xxx

So we get to date and they can’t? Now that’s unfair in all ways possible.

I dont think bts are not dating. Maybe all 7 may not be , but some of them might be. They also have feelings

It’s a shame that some ‘so called fans’ can’t be adults and except the fact that their favorite idols are adults too and has lifes outside of the K-pop business. Some people need to realize that that’s all they are, fans. I personally am proud and happy when I hear about some of my favorite idols are dating, getting married and having families of their own.

I think dating bans are really really stupid. No one can predict when or who you’ll fall in love with, so why suppress it? Imma just take Stray Kids as an example since they’re my ult If one of them would have a partner, I’d be happy for them. Like it’s not like any of us have a chance anyway & I just wanna see them happy!! I wish them to have a happy life with someone who truly loves them & who they love And if people can’t accept the fact that their idol is living a happy life with their significant other, than are you really a fan? Just be happy for your idol.

Let's be real, they date. It's just dangerous for their mental health and possibly physical health if it is made public. For some reason, speaking to some people, they truly believe this Dating Ban and says their favorite idols cannot absolutely date. Which I find uncomfortable to even hear someone say. There are many of us who are aware of the fandom and discussions that take place when they hear their favorite idols are dating, it's so unhealthy to hang onto this type of thinking. It must bring a lot of stress to them as well, as they need to go the extra mile and take precautions for privacy & safety! At the end of the day, this is a thing for companies to protect their investment. KPOP markets an idols personality and life to the fans, this in turn, will bring along people who cannot respect private life. I wish it wasn't this way.

HYBE doesn't have a dating ban. However if their idols do date they have to keep a secret and very low key. It just makes me mad that idols can't date or have to do it in secret.

This has always pissed me off.If fans are allowed to date then these kpop idols are supposed to have the right to date as well, just like any other human.

FINALLY SAW OMEGA X IN SUCH A VIDEO THANK YOU SO MUCH I WRITE SUBTITLES FOR THEM THEY DESERVE SOOO MUCH THANK YOU FOR SUPORTING THEM

I have to say that I am Ft Island fan but I have never heard of Hongki's dating scandal o.o(maybe cuze I'am too young and was not interested in kpop then) As for the ban...I don't think they would be able to contronl every artist and trainee, it's like in school: teachers aren't able to be everywhere and control a grup of(lets say)50 people

I mean it’s obvious who killed sungjae… I loved that man he was a great singer but still no other idol should have to suffer from this, ‘fans’ are just toxic and need to calm down with their dumb obsessions.

I still remember that Taeyeon and Baekhyun dating "scandal" in 2014. Interestingly, Taeyeon lost none of her momentum as an idol and went on to become one of Korea's most consistently successful solo artists ever. The vast, VAST majority of the people criticising her for dating Baekhyun were delusional girls who couldn't have cared less about her or SNSD.

I remember that Miyeon (Gidle) caught in dating scandal while she's in YG. Rumors has it she lose a spot in BP due to that scandal. It was a mess back then as Pink Punk was anticipated group after 2ne1. Miyeon was supposedly to be the most likely candidate to join Pink Punk. I mean things happen for a reason and TBH she did debut with GIdle and she fits really well with the group.

if we aren't allowed to date how can we write love songs (bts song) ~kim namjoon

You can't convince me otherwise, idols are going to date regardless of immature delusional fans and shippers they just don't broadcast it publicly because of major backlash. They're adults a lot of them, a lot of them have expressed wanting to start families of their own and even wanting children. It's frustrating though that some fans are so selfish, you'd think with all idols have given us of themselves the least we can collectively do is healthily support them and their partners or even children. It's not like they're going to be an idol till the end of time, eventually they're going to retire and settle down with their own family. 😕

Companies are just like strict parents- For them dating means distraction

To this point chen is getting hate for building a family thats so so sad

toxic and sad the fandom is like that

I honestly feel like half of the kpop industry is probably dating or talking to someone. And thats fine. Why are over obsessive fans or toxic fans controlling their life and telling them what to do and what not to do? Tbh i really think its the korean netizens that are the most obsessive and toxic fans, international fans would support idols dating(my opinion). Netizens make it seem like dating is illegal in the kpop industry.

Dating bans are stupid, the argument that the idols shouldn't date so they're not distracted is silly, it makes the idols seem weak... There aren't dating bans in corporations, shops or other places, and people work there. Being an idol is a job and it's done by actual human beings. So if the lady at the store can have a husband and kids and still do her job so can idols. Ridiculous.

Lmaoooo it always baffles me when people actually wholeheartedly believe that their faves aren't dating at all.

And not a single mention from anyone about, Hyuna & Dawn! ???

The "dating ban" is such big brain! That way they can date so they can be happy! 💖

Fans want love songs but they won't allow their favorite idols to love how hypocritic🙂

especially nowadays, the new kpop stans are becoming more delulu about their idols. just know the limits cause idols are human too, and we are just their fans. the irony is that we can have a crush and like someone freely anytime, but the idols are banned to have the same thing. hope this gets better soon, I miss the idols interactions like in the old days too.

It find it a shame for idols, k-actors and actresses to feel they have to be alone. That’s so sad to me. It’s one thing. If they choose it for themselves, then it’s fine. But for the public or a company to in force no dating ban that is inhumane. We are all mortals. We can die for any number of reasons. Through health related or accidents in our world. Life is short. To be at the top and be alone sucks.

I agree with you when you said "delusional fans." They really are !!

I still dont understand why so called fans fantasize dating there idols And the company keep feeding into their fantasies Bishes get it into your damn toxic mind you ain't ever gonna date them Leave them alone to have and enjoy their love life geez

When are we going to understand that we can't OWN each other or our respective individuality. I wonder if these fans would like having all aspects of thier lives watched and controlled. You aren't a fan if you have unrealistic and unreasonable expectations, you are predator.

I already knew it they date secretly they just don’t show their reality to their fans I all fans are not toxic

I love this video. You tell them girl !! People are delusional out here

I think the idol also 100% agree that dating will effecting their career, that's why they keep it secret beside of the company dating rules

for me they should be open on dating they are humans and other factors is that kpop idol loves kids they are so happy when they see one baby

Idols should be allowed to date. Why can’t their companies let them live their lives the way they want? That makes those weird ass fans think that they own them (that they have chances to marry them) and that’s just weird as fuck. That can make people delusional. I mean, it’s not the only reason why there are so many delusional fans but, yeah, it does give people concerning ideas.

I feel like a famous idol dating would be interesting to fans as they could see, analyze, and try to emulate the partner the idols like. Like in the west. It's a big glimpse into an idol's private life.

Ok hear me out: I did some deep soul searching, and I'm starting to think that making K-pop Idols and their lives too available and accessible to the fans (almost like a commodity) isn't such a good thing. I mean fans get attached and I'm guessing the Y/N fantasies are reinforced because they make the idols 'relatable' and it's becomes an issue when their favourite 'person' is 'taken'.. Yeah I know, like millions of ordinary girls/boys out there think they have a chance with that super famous celebrity?? But the fans do become super attached to them compared to other industries. I'm not an extremist and I'd be happy if my favourite idols find someone that make them happy 💕💕 but I gotta admit, the thought of BangChan and Jimin dating pinches just a tiny itsy bit, compared to like Tom Holland dating. They need to stop getting us attached to them by making them so available, accessable, and relatable. But then again that's why K-pop is so popular and has a strong fanbase. 😭 I guess it's a double edged sword 🤔🤔

If a fans left or hate their idols just because their dating, don't consider them as a fans

When idols have a date or even wife/husband but they always say they're single for the sake of their love for fans, isnt that a big lie? If Im a fan, shouldnt I feel betrayed to be lied to like that? Its almost impossible for idols to be single when they are in their late 20s or even early 30s.

so, the actual dating ban is from the Kpop fans I see....

Personally I don't really care who they date or don't, but I think they should always keep it on the lay low, like we have two kinda similar ish situations, Chen and Bobby, both are now dads and have lovely wives, Bobby has been active and working while Chen got discharged from the military and he haven't heard of him even if SM is marketing him still, I think it's more about how the idols themselves handle the situation, make it a big deal or just a circumstance that won't affect their work at all.

There's nothing wrong wanted to stay single for the first couple years of your career so you can focus on trying to secede in something that you love and that you're passionate about but again they have to face the fact at some point their idols are going to have the desire to want to date and want to have a significant other and probably get married and want to have kids someday as much as they love their fans they can't be there only companion as much as they are grateful for them supporting them and for giving them the career they're not going to give up their entire life just to be alone just to please them that's the reality they need a face.

my school and most of sch in my country has dating ban though..and the students themselves are the dispatchers lol

Reputation of their partners affects them directly like Tablo’s situation. His wife was guilty through association too, which made no sense. Plus, the netizens are toxic to a point that being a great actor in playing an evil character starts associating their characteristics to you as a person even when you aren’t like that in reality.

I surely want this bans to " officially " removed like all idols have their own life and they are in their position because of their talent .They should get to see whoever they want . Also if those restrictions are removed the fandoms will become less toxic as well i guess .

I can’t believe I’m saying this but if I was a idol at Korea I wouldn’t care about it and I think it’ll be better if the dating ban should no be around the K-POP rules at all. I mean I love my idols and yea I wish I dated one of my favorite idols but at the same time I know they’ll be happy with their love life even love and support them bo matter what happened to them. Like say if blackpink Jisoo and maybe one of my favorite actors (which I can’t say his name because of 2021 when it happened by his accuser) I’ll love and support them no matter what like if they get married or maybe have babies so yea this is my opinion for the dating bans.

Jackson is iconic 😭

It proved that quantity of fan who like image/visual or the personality only is significant. Music and performace is less significant.

I've been following the K-World for almost a year now...(i'm an newbie) and i've noticed that the Korean fans are a little too much when it comes to their idols... i'll just leave it at that...

lol stans gets mad if their fav male idols gets shipped with any female idol leave dating ,i have read tons of comments if any male idol is inteacting with female idol people in the comment section will he like "they are siblings "they start getting jealous lol and that is okay but girls hating on other girl instead of supporting because of jealousy is really sad imagine how blackpink jennie and lisa would have felt bad after seeing the hateful comments 😔