That was a great conversation and I feel bad for the men in this world who don't have friends an family to have those type of conversations with. Integrity is the single most valuable thing a man can possess. Very well done guys.
Mike I know exactly what you're talking about. As I started martial arts in 1974 when I was 13. And trained and studied up until COVID. I was also on a men's team. The Sterling weekend for 10 years so I know it's like to be in a relationship with men on a men's level and being held accountable. It's most important. Young men today have none of that All they have is social media and false sense of reality.
Always how men arnt strong funny how u blame men for how fucked r society is 😂😂 ask a girl outside how much we need to make then u ask a man what he wants , if he dares say anything to do with weight , money , body , face you’ll get cancelled
I’m 66 years old and I’ve always lived by a code and I’ve been screwed over by a few ex wives and a few ex friends and most of my friends have died but the good friends I’ve got left are loyal and true.I’ve NEVER asked anyone for anything but I would help anyone who needed help in a heartbeat if I could.
Amazing how much life gets less stressful by having 2-3 dudes we are absolutely solid with. Just knowing you have somebody who has your back no questions asked is a rare blessing. Easier for vets/service members because they help you create that intentionally. Anybody who suffers together will always understand eachother better then somebody who hasn’t seen behind the curtain of someone at their lowest. Hard not to be genuine after
Having the boys with you, having your back, will take you sooo much farther than getting after it alone. Always have their back and wish I had a few more. Gotta move this weekend and wish I had my boys here rn. We’d be having beers and filling boxes. Man I miss those days. Cherish your friends, they don’t always come and go. Sometimes they become life long.
Feeling like I'm at my lowest currently... u r absolutely correct. If it weren't for my boys I've known for 20 years there is no way I'd be here. Full disclosure one of them called a wellness check on me last week, I was pissed for a bit but I understand it was nothing but love and that's huge these days for a guy whose alone a lot of time.
When Mike mentioned people saying: “do all the fun stuff now because when you’re married and tied down, you won’t be able to”. I had tons of people tell me that when I was single, but honestly, being married and having kids has brought me more happiness and growth than I ever could imagine.
I was a photojournalist for 22 years now I work with the crew guys finishing concrete, it's an absolute treat, we joke, we tease, get loud, and there is solid brotherly bond, it's the last place a guy can be a guy.
These are the Conversations that Men in the Church need to be having. We shouldn’t be isolated, we should have one protégé, one buddy, & one Mentor (@ the bare minimum) in our life. One for plumbing, one for raising kids, one for cars, one for sports/outdoors, etc…. That means we need to be available for them as well!!!
I've always seeked out conversations with the older generations. My wife thinks I'm a weirdo, but I will look for the older woman or man sitting alone at a diner, or other places like a mall. You would be surprised the amount of information that you can learn from the past generations by just sparking up a conversation. It is also heartwarming to see their face light up by talking about the good ole days. Sadly, these same people probably don't have anyone to talk to day to day, so it may make their day or week. Our "men" are on a slow decline thanks in part to social media. Leave the phone in your pocket and go enjoy life.
If your wife thinks that you are a weirdo then you’re doing life, right. Any time I have changed for a woman to do something that she thinks has been a mistake. The end result always was her being more controlling and losing respect.
I do it too and have had some really profound conversations with them and you’re right it makes their day. You feel good after and it makes them feel good, what’s wrong with that?
I haven't been on Facebook in 20 years. I'm 38. As soon as I saw a picture of my neighbors breakfast I pulled the cord. I have zero social media, haven't been on Instagram in years. When people ask, my answer is very simple, "It doesn't serve me." I understand some people "make money" through social media, all the power to them. If social media isn't paying you, I have no idea what people are doing on there. I have a rich social life, and great men that are around me. And believe it or not, despite what people think, you can still stay in touch with people without social media. Kind of like how people have been doing for last few thousand years. Great conversation. Thanks guys.
This is good and brought up some great talking points. One thing, that’s missed anymore for young men and families is a good male role model. Regardless of your faith and what path you take most solid dudes I’ve met in my life have had strong male figures in their lives. And really the feminist and the communist movement have done a good job at removing men from homes.
this is good content. i was raised in a lefty city by hippies. im 40 now and i had a journey that ends with me being a tradesman who likes guns family and freedom. i dont think my roots exclude my result but i had to use podcasts and other influences as examples and ask myself "how should i be". it was a struggle and i couldnt do it without you guys discussing stuff like this. jocko, JRE, Mike glover, ect ect ect.
My grandfather always said the poem ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling was his baseline on good and bad days during WW2. It certainly is a great guide to the art of being a good man. Well worth a look if you have not read it.
I heavily agree with what Hafer said with the search for meaning and purpose. I'm 17 and my whole life I felt like I was searching for a purpose/meaning in life, when I found out about seals and got to talk to multiple SOC guys in person, listen to podcasts, etc. it made me feel like I finally found my purpose. I've been training for around a year now, and training to my specific goal has made me have a purpose/meaning in life, or at least make me feel like I have one. And I found it not by scrolling through Instagram, or tiktok, but experiencing life outside, reading books about history not just books about Sparta in 500 B.C. or 1185-1190 when the Samurai era started but also the early 2000, and 2010s. After that sitting down with myself and thinking what I want to do with my life, and that came down to wanting to join the teams and my start in training for that.
@@PD-we8vf Graduated HS early, found it to be a waste of time I was given the opportunity and took in I'm now working and training at a gym. Lifting, swimming, etc.
This is absolutely crucial. I hope this reaches the ears of young men that need to hear this. I'm very glad I joined the Army and got to experience the comradery and good values every man should live by.
Me too if u didnt play sports im high school and u feel like u need to be in a gang or something join the military. U get paid change your self image comfidence and gain life long brothers.
@@erickiyoshiphillips2323 Yes, sports is another way men can gain good character and values. Plus a good coach can also mentor those who don't have a father in their life.
I’ve been talking about this so much recently. To be a real man one must have a solid set of morals, an ability to drive yourself through mental doubt and depression and most importantly be willing to defend the ones you love more viciously than anyone else. Be a good person, do the right thing, even if that means causing someone else mental or physical pain.
After the military, I have found solid community within a couple of martial arts groups and by serving as the security director of music festivals and plugging in with others that share the protector focus. I have also shunned social media for many years and suspect that helps. Gents, I really appreciate you diving into this topic.
I like the conversation. Good parenting is key. There are universal truths that we all need in order to feel healthy. *Accepted *Safe *Accomplished *Loved *Strong *Understood *Joy *Purpose in action These things can be gotten through Family, community, friends, work and hobbies. The lack of these things is what causes so much pain and addiction.
Nothing wrong with being single, if that's what you actually want etc. You don't have to be in a relationship , married, have kids to be happy but I do agree with what was said about social media & the issues it presents as well as hides.
Even if you want marriage and kids etc. dont try to attain that at the expense of your happiness, sanity and financial stability. Be careful who you trust and who you get involved with.
I don't believe in toxic masculinity. I believe it's because the man himself is toxic, and has a toxic personality or traits. It's not due to his masculinity. All people can be toxic man or woman.
I appreciate y'all using your platforms Mike to discuss and say unapologetically what we (gen X'ers) often can't put into words. Intensional family engagement is indeed the foundation to affect a change in our children's trajectory into adulthood. I find myself now in my mid 40's a single Dad trying to instill some kind of work ethic in a world where there's not much incentive to even have a job. (Obvious leftist/Marxist messaging of the legacy media controlling the perception of much of the majority)
Excellent perspective Mike ... Great discussion !!! The only thing that I would add is that for those of us who have walked the road and learned through our own experiences (and mistakes), and reached Manhood as a legitimate level of achievement, I believe that we need to take it upon ourselves to take youth (as individuals or in larger groups) under our wing, and teach them the true importance of being a MAN, and what it means to society for them to attain that status ... Yes we can coach sports etc, but part of that NEEDS to include such things as using loss as a positive learning opportunity, how to show empathy for those who you might have trounced, how to always be respectful and considerate to the elderly, and how giving back to the community is an attribute that shows their character !!! We NEED to pass along the education for becoming a man (because as much as we hear it, single mothers (fatherless homes is another discussion that needs to be had) will NEVER be a replacement for a father in the home, especially for young boys) and how much they will benefit themselves and the world !!!
Loved this episode. It's always fun to watch you guys cut up and have fun messing with each other but you delve into real topics like this and try to pass on just a little bit of wisdom along the way. One thing I've told me daughter was a phrase I saw 40 years ago, "all the magic I could ever want, I made it myself". Get out, enjoy life, find things important to you, take a chance on something new and if you fail, so be it. Dust yourself off and keep going because the only person who can truly define you, is you.
I’m at my turning point in life right now. 19 years of age really figuring myself out and finding my purpose day by day. It’s been hard to understand why I wasn’t changing all this time but it was because I never believed I could or had the discipline to. Like you guys said the device that we all have 24/7 is a huge distraction with everything being accessible. I really needed this thank you guy’s seriously. 🤙🏽
When Evan said “Your technology device isn’t going to tell you how to live your life” I almost threw my technology device that is telling me how to live my life. Real solid work boys keep it up.
Sorry, Evan Hafer is not the voice I run to for answers to questions regarding manhood. Every ounce of his answers is egocentric and “not giving a f***”. As a father and a husband, there’s no way I could successfully lead my family and raise my son on his advice. If I were trying to run an edgy/spotty coffee company riddled with unchecked accusations and questionable reputation, he’d be my guy.
I lived life 100mph when I was single. Life of the party in college, Tucker max on steroids type of life. And yet, I was filled with anxiety, depression loneliness, alcohol addiction. 8 years ago, I became a born again Christian, 8 years sober, have an incredible marriage and family, a church family, and know my purpose. When I start to drift from God, I’m aware as my joy genuinely fades away. I will say, having a “tribe” lacks for me as my closest friends Live out of state. There is such an incredible feeling just sitting with a couple of men just chatting.
I'm an Iraq vet, similar to many of you. I have so suppressed who I am to please my current wife, my community, and culture that I am so filled with frustration, depression, and resentment. I fill feminized and haltered like a wild animal who's been overly domesticated. Thank you for giving Men the Premission to be Men and saying Fuck It. This is who I am. I'm a man.
This was incredible from 3 people I couldn't respect their opinions or hold them in higher regard. These men truly give us diamonds we should forever be grateful for the wisdom.
Thank you gentlemen for getting on the frontlines in regards to this attack on our youth and society In regards to social media. Very toxic. May God continue to Bless all of you and help you all get more and more traction with your influence. Respectfully, Ferrer
im 35, and I never had a serious relationship. but i blame being brought up by a single divorce mother who hated being a mom and was super toxic emotionally
Good afternoon gentlemen I appreciate these inspirational and informational video I just recently admitted myself in intensive recovery sober living I've fought wildcard fires for 10 years and these videos truly help me get through my recovery! I can't wait for more to come keep up the good work and thank you all for your service welcome home!!!❤
@Toast8195 Lolno, the guys who fought in ww2 are three times the men that modern men are now today. Modern men are feminine, infantilized, low testosterone jokes.
*Work Ethic *Integrity *Discipline *Morals/Principles *Character *Being Strong physically and Mentally. All of the above are just a few things that help me become the man I am today. Somethings I learned and applied on my own and others were taught to me by some Real Men !
Good wisdom exchange today! Looking forward to interesting conversations on Focal Point. Evan needs to speak to these issues in a serious and thoughtful way more often. Never saw this side of him before. Give credit where credit is due. As far as Mike and Andy go always solid advice and men of integrity. Gravitas is a trait that some ,not all men have. Either you have it or you don't, it's not something you can learn. but acquired through experience and over time meeting challenges head on and taking on the role of a leader and the responsibilities that come with that. Choose your own path and become authentic . If you are not failing now and then , your not trying new things. Failure makes us grow and eventually leads to success if we are smart enough to recognize the process. All three of these men would make good mentors for younger men.
Companies like BRCC have played a major role in the downfall of men having a backbone and standing up for what’s right. I’m disappointed that you didn’t call him out, and that you continue to associate with people like Hafer.
Just look into what BRCC ( Hafer ) has done with his political donations, as well as what they did to Rittenhouse. They are not the ‘good guys’ they pretend to be.
@TM-ye6fk you do know that Andy works with BRCC right? He owns a BRCC coffee shop. He's personal friends with Hafer and they are regulars on each others podcasts and videos. I'd suggest more research.
The entire interaction following the question at 10:50 is what’s missing from men’s lives. You’ll see social media attribute it to military or blue collar men being abrasive. But that humorous but real accountability even in their speech, translates to a self awareness and integrity in your life. All of the best friend groups have this trait and don’t always understand it. Many of the worst friend groups attempt to have this, but miss the point and are just mean to each other. What a wonderful example of the former in this video.
That was awesome. Too have men speak on topics that young men can learn. I didn’t have a father, Thank god I had a big brother that I had learned from & Seen first hand of someone that was always there & Can relate with me & Have a connection that can never be forgotten.❤
Wife and I moved to new state for my job. No friends or family here. It sucks, I don't have any "close" friends or a "tribe" here to rely on. It makes me worried with the way things are going. I have a neighbor across the street that's my age that was in the military but he and his wife don't seem interested in being friends with us. They never make an effort to hang out with us. It's always me trying to make plans. We have hung out twice but the last two times I tried to make plans the wife was not feeling well last minute. It's hard trying to meet other people as adults in a new area.
Strong men? This is what Sam Adams had to say “If ever a time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin”
Thank you all for this video. As a man, it means a lot to me to have men speak about the masculinity issues and has provided a some next steps for improving to become a better man with purpose.
This was a breath of fresh air fellas The topic isn't touched on enough With everyone staring at their devices these days it's tough to get a conversation started. Unless you piss them off with politics.
Watching in the morning while it's snowing and I've got a hot cup of Loyalty Blend is a great way to start my day. Gen X. It 100% is worse in these newer generations. We got to grow up analogue. Now grade school kids are exposed to p*rn and predators on their social media accounts. There is generationally much greater mental illness, drug use, loneliness, poverty, etc. Gen Z is the most "educated" which seems to mean the most indoctrinated. A generation of boys has been raised by women with little male mentorship we still had more of growing up. There is a legitimate cultural crisis for men that especially impacts the youngest.
If you just go with the flow you’re going to get swept up in the current of society. Not everyone naturally just wants to go running, disconnect from social media, and goes against what society tells you to do. It take discipline for most people. So to tell someone to just be themselves, isn’t very helpful. If we want purpose and to live by the standards that we know is the right way to live, we don’t start that standard at what we are currently doing and living out. That would mean we have no need to change. We need to continually work towards, like what you guys were saying in the beginning of the video, continuously striving towards our standard of living because no one has living with perfect integrity or perfect courage, we must strive toward this standard. I know everyone has a different point of view, not every person thinks the same way, but we must be consistent with our points of view. Going with the flow and striving continually toward a specific standard like integrity or being a man of God is an ongoing journey that takes discipline. I love how you guys say to do the opposite of what everyone else tells you to do! It’s true. Society tells you it’s cool to go to the bar and get drunk regularly and to sleep around. It’s not cool. It’s easy. It doesn’t require discipline or intelligence to do those things.
11:00 1. Duty - duty used to be the most prized value in a man. If you failed in your duties you failed as a man. Today, failures in duty are someone else’s fault. Skills that are no longer prioritised: 1. Introspection and self-critique
Sadly after watching my old man give his last breath last year really made me stop and think what important in life and to not simply just drift thoughout life and get serious about it. Because it goes away faster than you think.
Good evening gentlemen, I have to agree with courage. Being able to comfortably focus on elevating yourself you need the courage to try different things, the courage to go against the social standard, courage to defend and protect….etc! For example, it’s a good idea to learn how to hunt before learning how to farm.
I am not close to being a teen or even my 20's with social media influence but I do have a couple in my household. I followed the same formula that I had growing up. Limit electronics, TV in my time, and have them involved in team sports since they were small. Competition, teamwork, discipline of the grind, and fighting toward a common goal brings out for young people what legal aged men find in the military. It helps teach and feel tangible results and what winning / losing feels like and how to move forward than just a virtual version of that. Are they completely detached from social? No, but it doesnt dictate their life as far as I can tell.
I was recently widowed and the dating process is so different than when i was last dating almost 30 yrs ago. Men are EXACTLY like you guys say. Its sad. Id like to find love again but online isnt the place to do that, everyone is a foreign fake seeking private info so i may try to find a good man at my church or in my circle of influence...which is small since i just moved to the country. i pray God steers me to a decent man.
10:50 Absolutely the best question one can ask, and amazing answers; I'd agree with all of them, and add "Sacrifice." That is the result of integrity, courage, and fatherhood. And it *sucks* But it's always and forever worth it.
God, family, country…follow the hierarchy. Trust your natural manly instinct and grow in your lane. Develop yourself, evolve alongside like minded men and support a good cause. Man up!
I ended up following the route of partying at a younger age and I made the change to focus on my career. Now at 27 I'm paying for a house on a half acre, just me and my dog. My goal now is to exceed in what I do as a carpenter and I am now a foreman running a crew. I regret the "fun" I thought I had some years ago because that's just time I had wasted rather than be becoming a better man.
Grat video! I am a strong woman that "looks" for the strength/ masculine man. Hard to find. This new generation is raising soft and gentle men. These qualities are good yet....the strength and protection of a man is what alot of what is missing ❤️❣️
After listening to this, I think it would be extremely interesting to have a full interview/podcast thing with Dr. K Bringing both the perspective of moreso the "newer generations" as well as a different perspective, closer to therapy/coaching and whatnot
