THE DEVEILISH TACTICS TOXIC FAMILY BULLIES USE TO HURT YOU

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No one wants to believe they have a toxic family and are being bullied by them.
But when family members team up against another family member to accomplish a united goal, psychotherapists call that coalitions and alliances.
Coalitions and alliances are "family agreements" that can feel like a "family agreement" to bully and intimidate you.
Family bullying is toxic, dark, evil, and sinnester within dysfunctional families.
Sadly, in some situations it isn't easy to put a stop to family coalitions and alliance but you can certainly learn to identify this "perverse triangle" and family coalition.
In this video, I discuss the "family trap" you may feel you have been sucked into within your family.
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#trauma #TOXICFAMILY
#tamarahilllpc
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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
0:00 intro
2:19 what a family coalition looks like
2:58 power disparity or power differential
3:45 siblings may enter the coalition or alliance against you
4:19 Jay Haley and family systems function in particular ways
-Cross generational parent-child coalition
6:59 Jay Haley says 3 conditions must be met for a cross generational parent-child coalition
7:50 the "peverse triangle"
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Mentioned In The Video:
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Music:
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🎵 Track Info:
Epidemic Sound
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at contact@anchoredinknowledge.com. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
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Robinson Township, PA 15244
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Опубликовано:

31 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 54

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 месяца назад

To see my live chat on deceptive affection, click here: ru-vid.comFM8d4Kts8lM

@Andronicus2007 3 месяца назад

I've done absolutely nothing to deserve being on the receiving end of a nasty family coalition, quite the opposite. It's like they're projecting their nonsense into me. I decided to leave the situation entirely. I'm finding out more and more nasty family secrets, this is the reason they need a distraction!

@KS-dx5ln 3 месяца назад

When you know, you know. I removed myself from the abuse. I refuse to be the scapegoat and punching bag due to others mental and physical abuse. Remove yourself from them and let them continue to live their false facade. I will have no part of the games, manipulation and absolute mental abuse and triangulation with these emotionally empty beings.

@IReminisceNYC 3 месяца назад

This is all too familiar to me. It’s me against the “coalition” because the “matriarch”in my family can do no wrong except towards me and I see right through it.

@Nina-vv3ev 3 месяца назад

It’s the no family & no support that hurts the most

@Bee-Wise1 3 месяца назад

I swear you’re a psychic therapist!

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 месяца назад

🙊🙈🙉

@fairygurl9269 3 месяца назад

Here's To Loving Authentically not Perversely

@queenbutterfly4888 2 месяца назад

My pregnant younger sibling posted a video saying that I’m jealous that I’m older than her and she got pregnant first ..she also stated that I’m jealous because my husband and I can’t get pregnant and have been trying (we have not been trying btw). My gyn literally stated “everything kinda looks too good down there, so when you’re ready to have kids things look great”- my sister also doesn’t know that I’m leaning towards not ever having children because i like having my fur babies. The scary thing is she made an entire video about me when I haven’t spoken to her for two years smh 🤦🏽 very scary to create false narratives in your head. She views having kids and marriage as a competition. This example is just one of the many reasons why I had to cut my mother and siblings off. Another scary and weird factor is that the same sister claims that she’s the one who cut me off. This just further confirmed to me that I made the right decision to block all of them..

@illuminationgoddess3 3 месяца назад

Currently that I love myself and feel I am surrounded by love from the spirit world is and has been enough.

@Crystal_Seeker71 3 месяца назад

Oh my gosh Tamara, this explains the Dynamic I grew up in perfectly. Parents chose one child, Grandparents chose another and a power struggle ensued my whole childhood. Thanks for making it make sense a little. so confusing to me as an adult, I can just imagine how confused I was as a child. I'm no contact now because my sibling has managed to turn the family against me but its ok I'm educating myself and continuing my beautiful life. Thank you Tamara

@TKHAL Месяц назад

Im not even sure of how I found this channel but you are what I have needed for years Tamara! To hear my struggles etc so eloquently put and your sincerity, the way you go into detail about topics is truly a breath of fresh air I'm a "disabled" vet and have yet to find someone thru the VA or otherwise in 15+ yrs that I I feel truly understands my trauma and struggles in general. THEN I've never even heard of others going thru the toxicity have been thru w my family ...so this, YOU! Aww man gratitude attitude you are truly a blessing and are appreciated. Ahhh trying not to over consume ur content and watch one a day...journal and process Anyways thank you Miss Tamara much love peace power and respect to you

@TKHAL Месяц назад

It's comforting knowing that I am not alone

@TherapistTamaraHill Месяц назад

Absolutely 💯 agree! Glad this is helpful to you. Hopefully you are now on a journey of healing.

@GoldynCamisha333 Месяц назад

Thank you so much for your help. I've been so sad about this for so long but I'm not going to let it hurt me anymore.

@TherapistTamaraHill Месяц назад

You're very welcome. I completely understand that feeling. I do pray you find peace. Once you make up your mind like you have, life can sometimes get much better.

@BabsBabs75 Месяц назад

I went no contact. They tried to ruin my family.

@julieanna8495 2 месяца назад

Happening within toxic Sisters-In-Law. We are all in our middle 69s. They have always been the mean girls to me. I was the goody-two-shoes sending anniversary and birthday cards to everyone. That lasted 20 years. When I finally realized that I had not received ANY in those 20 years, they started talking about me behind my back. Then it got to where they would see something that my grown children posted, and they would gossip about that: can you BELIEVE her Son is dating THAT girl?! 🙄🙄😮. Snobby things like that. Finally I realized there was nothing I could do to get them to like me, so I deleted them off my social media. My family and I see them for Christmas, but they no longer have direct access to me. 😁

@mikesmith6594 3 месяца назад

Sounds like what I'm dealing with 😢unfortunately he's turned my sister against me she don't believe anything I say but she believes and defends anything and everything my dad does and says .

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 месяца назад

This is tough. I'm sorry you are experiencing this.

@mikesmith6594 3 месяца назад

@@TherapistTamaraHill Thanks for your understanding and support !

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 месяца назад

@mikesmith6594 you're welcome. Absolutely.

@Andronicus2007 3 месяца назад

The Russian novelist said in his book Anna Karenina "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". But he was wrong, sure details may be different but the basics are the same; disrespectful/superior attitude, emotional and other forms of abuse, gaslighting, selfishness and deception.

@dnk4559 3 месяца назад

My narcissistic father did the same with my two younger sisters.

@Beautiful_KFord Месяц назад

Wow I am so happy that I found your content. Thank you for breaking down trauma in toxic family structures. Your teaching and sharing of these topics are very inspiring and gives me a sense of peace. I know that I am not alone in my journey.

@TherapistTamaraHill Месяц назад

That's so good to hear! Thank you. And that's an answered prayer if this conent is helping you. Welcome to the channel!

@JKDVIPER 3 месяца назад

It was done to me recently. A family member by marriage. Because she steps over boundaries AS A JOB 💡😛🤟she seems to think she has the entitled judgement to say something about me in public without ever saying TO ME, to my wife/fiancé. She just went way out on a limb to describe my family dynamics without any concern whatsoever for what we had to say about it.” 😂❤yikes. Yucky. 🤢🤮😆🤘🏼💯

@user-om2fe8wb4q 3 месяца назад

Much needed topic!! Right on time! You were sent from heaven!!

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 месяца назад

❤Thank you🙏 Very glad this was helpful to you.

@JasmineUniverse111 2 месяца назад

How does the outcasted family member dynamic differ when they develop into an addict? It’s like the drug masks the previous abuse. I feel my big sister has been outcasted. I used to be the rescuer, turned enabler but I’m 34 now she is 38. I stopped contact and now she is far far away due to drugs but I feel an underlying sense that she has been “forgotten” singled out and abandoned. To some degree it’s self inflicted, drugs etc but what about the rescuer in me? I feel that was more of a reaction & I don’t want her legacy to be centered around that. She has a story and I feel she has been silenced 😢

@silentwalk1768 3 месяца назад

❤❤ thanks so much Tamara 100 my case exactly the way you explained it narcissistic Sun turns on dad and coalition forms on the rest of the family sorry I missed your live thing is what to do about it thanks for all your work😢❤

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 месяца назад

You are so welcome😊 Very glad this has been helpful!!

@feliciacrosby7150 Месяц назад

I am 60 years old and I am through with my family ❤❤❤

@TherapistTamaraHill Месяц назад

I get you! When enough is enough, it's enough!

@nostromois Месяц назад

Wish you the best, peace, joy, happiness!

@pamelaf5913 4 дня назад

Thank you want to note the play back was often paused note sure if is on my end or something you can advise your portal about will try on another device such as at work.

@TherapistTamaraHill 4 дня назад

Thank you! It may have been on your end. If not, I will watch this over and see if I see it too.

@Momofone1982 2 месяца назад

Thanks so much for doing this video I needed this been going through this very same thing on both Mom and Dad's side of the family. It seems to never end

@TherapistTamaraHill 2 месяца назад

You're welcome! Glad this was helpful to you. And I'm sorry you have experienced this dynamic.

@Momofone1982 2 месяца назад

@@TherapistTamaraHill thank you!❤

@peggydietz6148 3 месяца назад

May the sunshine of His love embrace each of you today ❤

@TherapistTamaraHill 3 месяца назад

This is beautiful! Thank you. And same to you.

@jodirichardson2820 Месяц назад

What about my child,not sibling?im an only child,my mom is taking over my" mom role "of my 16 year old son,! She has got him totally brain washed against me!and he lives with me when he isnt staying with her!!!! Getting worse and i need to know what to do,i try to distance myself from my mom,and then im out of loop as to whats going on with my son,so ill be nice,and she will hurr me again,5 yrs ago,giing to sons soccer game,she is driving,my son says somthing rude to me,so i say something like" dont disrespect me! And my mom says " you two need to stop it" what us two!i said dont group me with my child im mom! " Sums up situation real quick,he is 16 now have gone thru this crap forever,he knows he will never have consequences because she will always believe him,and take his side,example,one morning before school he told me to f off,(happens a lot now) and so i said,"you can walk to school,no ride from me" only half a mile away btw.so he calls grandma and says im loosing my mind,and will she come get him,and she comes to get him,now this is tuff!!!

@jodirichardson2820 Месяц назад

My son has power, did I mention my parents in coalition with his dad! We aren't together!!!! This is awful

@laughinghawk8522 3 месяца назад

Glad I came across your channel today. Just subscribed. Watched a few videos so far. Good to see a professional who is breaking things down at every level. You don't come off as one of those cookie cutter therapists who seem to be repeating what they've memorized out of a book using the same tactics on every client who have different issues to deal with. We know one size does not fit all. I'm looking forward to more of your videos. I like how you use detailed examples to break things down.