The disconnect goes both ways I've been married for almost 40 years It's been a long hard road. What I didn't know is my wife was molested as a young child by her stepfather and has never had professional help. That explains a lot right there.
The Little Things Over Time Add Up! When Anger and Rage takes over you know you've had enough. When you don't recognise yourself! You drift further Apart!
@@gabitom5056 hello I have been attend therapy which I like going but on my own I have been going well now by zoom since Jan It has help me with clarity in many areas, tools to work on and I do not want to carry anything into another relationship if god allows . I have learned a lot. But the idea of going on my own is for me however how does that help a relationship improve.
After 10 years if being together, i feel totally alone. He is only physically present, even for our kids. I gave a thousand chance for him to make it up, but being an indifferent father i cannot forgive to him. Our marriage is disconnected for years now, because i have always been alone. Thinking all the way back, i have always been going everywhere alone with our first child. He doesn't spend time.with me, not even watch a movie. I even fight on my own. The.past 2 weeks i threw his clothes at the front door twice to get the hell out and he doesn't go. I cannot live like this anymore. I feel like he doesn't give a f**** for us. He works, returns takes a bath eats and dissapears into the bedroom.with his cell phone. This is his routine. Like a visitor in our house. I never pictured my life like this. On the other hand he says he loves me but does nothing to prove it. This time i am on the brink of the divorce and i feel it, cause i am fine when he isn't home but when i see him , i feel depressed and miserable.
Same story, but thirty four years of marriage. Always felt something wasn’t right. Found porn on his phone a couple of years ago, then AGAIN last year both times were totally accidental. He was to stupid to hide it and it came right up. The second time was looking for directions on the way to my daughters graduation of her masters degree. Had to act like nothing was wrong those two days and still after a year, he has done absolutely nothing to prove his love or that I will ever be a priority, much less his number one priority. I have Always proved he is my number one priority and I have never looked at another man in ALL the years we’ve been together. It’s heartbreaking and I find it hard to have the will to go on every day. I care for my mother who has Alzheimer’s and if it weren’t for her, I would end my life. I am totally committed to him. I’ll never understand how he can be the person I am understanding that he really is. I have no income. I’m disabled and gave up a wonderful home and job for him that I and my grandparents have much money to attain. The house we live in is not good. Bad air quality, foundation problems that are just awful and it’s not even in our name. It’s his dads. The house he grew up in. His dad wanted to “trade” houses eleven years ago, and we gave up what we had put heart and soul into for fourteen years. I waited eight years to have children with him and he has destroyed me. For nothing!
Same here. Physically present, buys stuffs for home, me kids. But don't come n talk about problems. If I start talking, he will talk as if nothing happened..anything taken as criticisms, all imagined in his head that I'm there to get him always..wt to talk with this kinda husband..I sleep alone, kids think I'm the bad one coz I want to talk loudly to let him know I'm hurt..he doesn't recognize that he has hurt me emotionally ,verbally..I'm going to psychotherapist ..she asked to bring him..he accepted to come.. let me see wt happens nxt
What about the man who has been in a marriage for many years that has been in a disconnected status? It looks great on the outside, but there is a sad void on the inside.
Thanks for the Video clip! Sorry for the intrusion, I would love your opinion. Have you thought about - Millawdon Varied Nights Trick (erm, check it on google should be there)? It is a good one off product for learning intimate questions to make your relationship stronger without the headache. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my mate at very last got cool results with it.
You prolly dont care at all but does any of you know a tool to log back into an instagram account? I stupidly lost my account password. I would appreciate any help you can offer me.
@Mohamed Ayaan Thanks so much for your reply. I got to the site thru google and Im trying it out atm. Seems to take quite some time so I will reply here later when my account password hopefully is recovered.
I was there too for the past 10 months. Things weren’t like they were in the past. I got to the stage where I had to go something that was right for me. I tried to get her to make it work but she never bothered to try. I finally found out she was having an affair. I confronted her and she denied. It all added up as to why she didn’t want to try. I told her I was going for separation and all she could say is she didn’t want to divorce. Well sorry there I told her,I gave you time and you gave me nothing in return
Nailed it .26 years . I filed for a divorce 5 weeks ago. He didn’t try . Anything . That’s exactly what happened, we had a disconnect and couldn’t reconnect?? I don’t know if that’s the best way to explain it, but for me it is. EVERYTHING you’re saying is exactly what I’m feeling.
I can honestly tell you it's not only women who feel like this. I'm a 50 year old man who's been in a 27 year marriage and I feel those same feelings as the lady who wrote you. What do I do?
Sharon your video disconnected marriage, is from the woman POV only. Women are not always the victim or the one suffering. My wife feels more like a roommate she is so disconnected.
I worked too much and distanced due to the chaos of the household. Wife disconnected and cut off all physical touch / intimacy, resulting in frustration and anger at being replaced by the dogs, kids and cell phone. Working hard to reconcile, but no kissing, physical touch or sex for years and years has taken its toll - not a very good chance of recovery at this point
I have read your book, watched your videos and I am still at a loss. I feel like I'm alone even when I with my husband. I don't feel like he accepts me, I don't feel appreciated, or valued. I am just lost
Wife is working always late, always out, always out on some theatre... I think its better to just check out. I do not even care if there is a divorce or not.
This is horrible 😭 I don't know how to stay as well or leave he closed all the doors 😡 IAM in his prison for the life , he always said if I leave he will take my kids and he gonna lie in every way possible to keep my kids.
@@sharonpopecoach I also need clarity and strength to make the correct decision and not be paralyzed in my steps. It’s been too long and need closure to this chapter so I can start a new chapter thank you Michael
I just have to accept things and find a way to move on with a new reality. It is not easy after so many years of hoping and wishing for 22 years! The only thing I can say is I am still alive and I will move on !
@Michael Salas - Physically & Emotionally Exhausting! I stopped trying a long time ago but he still doesn't get it! He Won't Leave nor does he make an effort to Change. This Is Surreal! So Tiring.
Great talk, but I don't find it odd that a lot of the comments come from men. Its a two way street. Life happens, but sometimes you make the wrong choices that affect a relationship. I've been married for over 20 years. When we decided to have kids, we made a decision that she would stay home to raise the kids and I would work more. So 15 years later, I work two jobs, 6 day as a week which limits my time with the family. We haven't slept in the same bed for decade because one of the kids was scared to be alone at night. The combination has been detrimental to our relationship and my relationship with the kids. One of the worst decisions we could have made. I'm still affectionate, flirtatious and push for some time together, but its one way. I need more of a physical connection that to get laid occasionally while hoping not to be interrupted by the kids or an hour where we just talk without being interrupted or feeling she is dying to check her phone. I miss just waking up on a Sunday morning and spending some time in each others arms. Yes kids are important, but so is your spouse.... I'll keep trying, but I'm getting tired of waiting.
Sharon I realize most of your guidance seems to be unisex, however, in the near future I would really appreciate if you could do something specifically for us men because our lens or perception is different from the females in certain formats because of the roles we identify as and our responsibilities in our marriages also. Thank you in advance.
Doesn’t this happen to man ? I reached a level that I turned in the person that brings the money to pay the bills, Salaries of , gardener , pool man , maid 8 hours a day for cleaning, cooking etc. love has to come from both sides and I don’t mean sex ! Hugs and text messages , the last not after 12 hours. Spending her time 50 percent on the phone or do whatever she likes. Just a comment from the male side
This absolutely applies to men as well! My primary audience is women, so I generally use examples and speak from that point of view. However, the tools and teachings are gender neutral and definitely can be used and applied by men.
HOW DO YOU SAVE A MARRIAGE WHEN YOUR WIFE SAYS SHE IS DONE AND IS GOING THROUGH A MIDLIFE CRISIS. DO YOU HANG IN THERE BECAUSE YOU LOVE AND CARE ABOUT THIS PERSON, DO YOU WAIT IT OUT UNTIL THE CRISIS HAS PAST ? HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN THEY ARE OUT OF MIDLIFE CRISIS ?
That's a damned good question. I'm going through the same thing, nearly 20 years of marriage and all of the sudden, party, party, and I'm holding her back because I'm apparently the responsible adult that has to go to work and provide for our family seeing how she has no job and now sleeps until noon every day.
Hi Sharon, do you think that the disconnection problem can be solved by just one person working on it? especially because that the other person is not capable (eg. not sensitive enough to be aware of problems that need to be worked on).... also, could you please post the link to your Disconnected Marriage Facebook group? I cannot find it.
It’s hard to find videos for men going through what ladies(woman) are going through which can be somewhat similar. I hope and pray to help other men some day! God bless you
The difficulty is coming to a conclusion especially trying to work on a marriage by myself if feels, continue to work on me in the last 7yrs following being a victim of infidelity and praying things would get better. Also being a good man, father and worker outside and in my home. It’s just tough when there is a disconnect! Thank you
I am the one that feels disconnected. I have two preteens and one two year old that I really didn't think I was ever going to have, my job is hostile and not happy, then I have a husband who is needy like a 5year old, so basically I have 4 kids when all I ever wanted was 2. I need space, he use to work but now he has to watch our two yr old while I work and carry everyone on my back...
Marriage is an outdated concept SHEEPLE... We were all sold a bill of goods as children... The house (mortgage)...The white picket fence...2.5 kids. Society is instant gratification based now... The days of the man being the bread winner and the woman being the mother and home maker are long gone... That was the reason for marriage to begin with...find your life partner...raise a family. Now you have too many distractions...cell phones... facebook... instant connections to old boyfriends/girlfriends... And it's all discreet... *NAILS IN THE COFFIN* Marriage... *DOOMED BEFORE IT EVEN BEGINS...* Half of all marriages end in divorce... Yeah right... They all end...Some just stay.
