The DOWNSIDE of Chinese Hospitality 

I don't have to go all of the way to China to be held captive and feel trapped ... going to my in-laws works just the same.

So basically, Chinese hospitality is the same as lonely-grandparents hospitality -- "Thank you for visiting, now you must entertain me."

You know hospitality has gone too far, when it makes someone with a UK flag headrest groan at the thought of drinking tea.

I've been to "the prison of hospitality" many times,its so awkward - you just want to leave but food arrives and everyone expects you to eat it and sit down and relax when you rather be on your way and perhaps have limited time left...Happens in many places (im thinking colombia and turkey come to mind to begin with) ..great videos! want to visit China and am watching your videos with great interest !

Winston, I'm an introvert, and 'small talk' is actually quite agonizing for me. I felt your pain. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Hope you and yours are doing well. xo

What You are telling about being a "hostage of hospitality" would happen pretty much also in Your family. I will never forget that everythime my grandma called me on phone, I knew I would loose at least on hour of replying "Hm" and "Yaya" by hearing same stuff for the 5000th time - I did not cut her off because she was lonely and I was living far away, meeting her only once a year. Long time ago, RIP. It is the downside of any kind of relation: in some way You become a hostage, which is good as long as You love it. But when that goes away, You have trouble to get out without insulting that person ...

My wife's family lives in this rural ara just like the one you showed. First couples of times there i thought i was going to pass away. It really tested my limit on how tolerant you can be when nothing is right, from the water to the toilets to the food it makes you SO irritable. You can't just tell them it's gross because it's insulting and they think it's perfectly normal eating this weird stuff but it makes my stomach turn upside down. And if my stomach aches and i can't get a break the toilets where it's actually colder than outside, and in the summer it's like being in an oven or a sauna. My wife would NOT be supportive because she thought i should accept her way of life or whatever. I felt trapped i can litterally not go out by myself they will follow me everywhere to "help" me which is actually a very nice way of treating people but i'm not chinese and constantly beng around people and wasting time drinking tea is not my idea of fun. This year was better i'm getting used to it a little bit and start to know the place so i found better food.

My brother in law as a diplomat in China nearly fainted when at a dinner a lid was lifted off a dish(for a colleague) and there was a cooked wolf pup, but with all its skin and face put back, " sleeping" on a bed of rice. I think I would have screamed and passed out all at once.

That sort of hospitality was probably much more fun when everyone was hooked on opium.

I am Chinese American, I learn a great deal about China from your video, I took most everything as NORMAL until you pointed it out differently. You covered the ENTIRE China OBJECTIVELY. Great videos.

"They get to brag about you for weeks, months or years really" lmfao

You tell a good story. Had similar experience in Cambodia. Trapped and truly torurous!

Winston is a "中国通",he knows China very very well. He is right, the guy was showing off or took advantage of Winston to bring him a "big face" or make him important in his village. This guy is called "土豪"， that means getting rich in one night. The reason he can get rich in one night because he is more aggressive than others. In the video, he showed too aggressive. He did not care what his guest---Winston's needs and Winston's feeling. He was generous, but he was impolite and he was using Winston as a token at the same time. But that guy doesn't represent most Chinese. Most Chinese are very generous and respect their guest very much as well. When they realize what their guests feel or need, as hosts they will adjust their arrangement as much as possible. They will never take their guests as "prisoners" to make them feel uncomfortable.

I think the one thing I absolutely hate about Chinese hospitality is the "force feeding" part. They literally pick up food from plates with their own chopstick and put it in your bowl. The more you refuse their "help" the most they want to "help" you. One, I'm an adult so I can decide what I want to eat and how much to eat. Two, I don't want the dirty food that's touched your chopsticks to go anywhere near my plate.

Just got back from China and this made me laugh with how spot on it is

Winston, I lived in China for about 7 years in the mid 90's and still travel there a couple times a year for business. I must say that I thoroughly enjoy your channel. Your content is exceptional and gives me the current perspective of how the times have changed. My family and I were just in Shenzhen and Hong Kong last weekend for vacation. Hopefully, we'll have the opportunity to grab a beer one day. Cheers and keep up the great work!

Heya. I am a German National, living and having lived in China for 9 years now, previously visiting china for over 20 years. I have in the past watched several of your videos and enjoyed most of them. But as some other people pointed out, as of late it seems you are not happy in your situation. I understand that you do not enjoy the rural hospitality routine. But as I myself have gone through it many times, I can only say I enjoy it every single time. My Chinese is acceptable, enough for basic conversations about basic things, not good enough for technical or poetic items. This combined with the various accents in rural China makes these occasions very challenging. I remember 29 years ago, when I first saw the food preparation, the type of food and such, I was shocked. But over the years I have come to enjoy it. I personally find each and every visit thrilling. Every time I learn something new, every time I find another new custom or thing that I may have missed before or have never seen. Maybe the secret to enjoying it is wanting to know as much as possible, and thereby asking as many questions as possible yourself. The thing I regret at those times is that sometimes the communication, specially with very old rural Chinese is very very difficult, due to the previous mentioned dialects. Either way, since I have enjoyed your videos in the past, but as of late they do seem to be a bit darker, I hope you find a renewed sense of happiness to bring some of the optimism from earlier videos back into your life. Good Luck and Save Travels Andreas aka Fei Long.

Haha! I love this because after just a year in China I know exactly what you are talking about. You are absolutely right. Chinese people are some of the kindest I have ever met. I always say this. But whenever a new Chinese friend invites me to their home I just mark off that day as done because I KNOW they will have me there all day. And we may be doing nothing for hours but the moment I say "Okay I'm gonna go" they start protesting about me leaving too soon. I couldn't understand it first but now I do, and I just accept it. It's their way and I really do love them :)

You really nailed it in this video. Great points.

Very good video Winston. I like your channel, bro. I can relate. My wife is also Chinese from Shanghai and many times we have been invited to some restaurants to try some foods that I would rather not eat, but I have to show being grateful. I know the feeling brother.

As a Chinese, I should say that I'm also not getting used to the rural way of hospitality and all the weird things regarding their face. For example, if you show them around in big cities and having a CLEAN meal, they will say: hey, well, the tall buildings in the city are crowded and the meal is not fresh so they are not as good as my village because what I have is always the best. BTW, cow stomach may be strange for westerners just like Escargot is strange for Chinese, though I like to challenge all kinds of food lol

Seems like being stuck at grandma

I love your older videos! It just feels like I’m watching another time😂fragments of a different time and part of your life…I also just love the driving talking videos I’ve watched a few now and they are awesome

OMG ! You are so right, highly appreciated the hospitality but sometimes it's too much. Here is an example I went to iran to visit some family memebers dude! I felt like I'm 5 years old kid. Cuz they control you by asking where you going or oh no we are not going there we will go somewhere else. Honestly If i was there and never had come to Canada i would have done the same to you lol sorry but its truth . Anyhow thank you for uploading such helpful videos . I'm sharing them with family and friends .

I appreciate that he shows the positives and negatives from his experiences . Keep it up dude!

Hey Winston, this is something I can relate to, even though I am Chinese. City born, city bred, I am not used to the rural hospitality sometimes...

He just trying to be nice in his way, they are not well educated person. He treated you like you are new comer. Same way he will do to chinese people even to a relatives. This is the culture of elders people in downtown city. He was just too excited to meet a foreigners which he never going to have chance to do the hospitality again

Welcome to another video, always gets me and that music too. damn you :D

Damn, you hit the Murphy's Law of Hospitality jackpot.

You can always say "thanks, but no thanks". I grew up in a very Chinese city just outside of Los Angeles. I spent my entire young adulthood eating and doing things I didn't like. Finally, I snapped and started to just say no thanks. The whole hospitality thing gets way old, especially when you seriously don't want to eat something that's fucking gross. Sure, it's weird at first, but it's better than constantly being someone's bitch and being too afraid to be yourself.

Hey Winston, Im Philip from Germany and in the past weeks I watched loads of your videos. This one made me cry with laughter. You do a great job man. Especially when you have to get rid of some emotions makes your videos superauthentic and a pleasure to watch. Keep it up :)

Thank you for sharing your experience and your thought, Winston! I truly relate to your experience, almost feel tortured myself even just listening to your story! Still, this is very informative and we're learning more. Thank you again.

It happened to me too in a remote part of Guangdong. Swim bladder of a fish....yes, I ate one. Tasteless and rubbery, but at least I was polite :).

I think you explained perfectly....they will never accept or understand that we dont eat intestines .... they think it`s delicious and that is the end of it

This chap makes great videos, doesn’t hype them up over the top, very informative. Stumbled on them by chance. I’ve no intention of visiting China but they’re still great viewing. 👍👍

I’m enjoying his series. I used to be like him I always wore suits or dress wear. I live with a bunch of med students from China in Chicago and told them I was telling them I am interested in traveling to northern China. They recommended southern China and how northern China was cold and wet like Chicago

Having lived in Taiwan for 16 years, I completely understand and can relate to your video. BTW...At least you didn't have to eat testicle soup.

9:30 as a chinese person i think this is one of the main reasons. Hospitality also plays a part but they wouldn't do the same things for a black guy (sad but true) being around westerners (Whites) makes them feel important.

I am addicted to your videos. Please keep them coming. Your insight is appreciated! You crack me up sometimes as I also hate sitting still in one place for too long!

"i just rather go and eat a bloody kfc" that's me in China, every time

I dont think C-milk does it to show off, i think he does it so he can experience something completely different from normal. Thats why i try weird shit. Not specifically to say i did it, but so I experience something that very few westerners have. And a side effect of that is of course bragging rights.

Been following your work with c milk for a while now.. your videos keep getting better bro. About 10 years ago I wanted to work in China, life lead me to California instead. So hearing your stories is like indulging in a parallel reality that I could’ve experienced.

Hello Winston, I’ve been living in Rongjiang, Guizhou and I understand! You’ve nailed my thoughts exactly! Love your videos!

Fantastic video Winston. Frankly watching your videos is much better than any travel videos out there commercially. I have visited China a number of times for business at the Canton Fair. I have also been in Hong Kong for many trade shows. I am learning alot from you for my next trip.

That's the drawback to being honest, but if you were really honest with yourself, this wouldn't happen. Being kind is not always being honest, and I suppose the reverse is true.

You can refuse you know, just say what you there for, tell them you have a schedule.

found your channel randomly, been watching them ever since, such a great documentary. love the honesty, Im Thai, used to live in Australia for quite sometimes and now Im back to my country. I have experienced similar culture differences. keep up the good work. cheers!

Just subscribed to your channel Serpentza. I have to know more about my ancestors the Chinese race & I find your information really really good! Thank you Winston! 😄👏🏽👍🏽

It's a great RU-vid channel, you do a great job and I appreciate your window into real China.

same here in Vietnam, but you can get out of the trap by being firm and using a number of ready made polite sentences. You'll get the formalities required by observing and asking locals. Here you are allowed to dislike something, it wont offend them, and it's part of their entertainment to see how you'll react. They know their food is shocking, and that's why they brought you here, and they'll understand if you refuse because even local kids would refuse such kind of food that that takes a long time to get accustomed to (matured eggs, silk worm larvae, dog meat, super strong alcohol....). 1) they have to understand clearly the purpose of your visit (tourism, making videos, exploring etc...) 2) you can establish your schedule with them given the priorities you laid out in (1) You could simply have said you came here for sight seeing and would like to get out taking pics of their beautiful village instead of drinking tea. It would have made them proud all the same.

I've watched about 80% of your, c-milk and advchina's videos. this is by far my favorite one and the funniest. not sure whether your face expression came from boring driving, broken ac, or memory of the story, but the effect is excellent. just can't stop watching your channel. cheers.

Enjoying your show bro. Thanks for sharing your insights on China. Fascinating.

Makes you come off as very ungrateful, but at the same time very honest. I can see how it would get old, especially when you're in a hurry.

Stay awesome Winston! Please sir, can I have some more stories

Thanks dude. I am really enjoying your channel!

Been in China for 2 years and over the past two years I've gotten a bit sick of the traditional hospitalities. Especially the feeling of being trapped and are forced to eat (Being forced to eat is torture). I'm quite like CMilk, love trying all the weird foods too, however my stomach can only hold so much food.

I lost it at sand peanuts lmao xD

Hi Winston:. Is it my eyes or you are indeed driving pretty fast. Thank you so much for your 10 year awesome experiences in China . G-d bless you. Your Chinese car seems to respond great to your exceeded driving. Have a safe journey Winston. Greetings from Catalonia Spain

Great content. Superb storytelling .

these videos got me through a really rough time while i was very sick. looking at them now is just blasting me with a nostalgia feeling, even though they were shitty times.

Being one myself, I love it when longtime expats spill on what bugs them about their new country. So much to love, but nothing like a good vent on the irritating bits to get one's sanity backs.

I know exactly what you're talking about! Honest video. Thanks.

Thanks for this video. I've been in situations like that but didn't know how to explain it quite so nicely. I'm not crazy after all.

I found out your channel today. I'm so sorry wasted. I have huge hangover and I cannot stop watching this your videos :-). Good luck

Ignore the haters man, I for one really appreciate your videos where you are honest. There is no need to sugarcoat everything in life just to please a few individuals, keep making good videos like this!

I kept wanting to say "But Winston, how do you REALLY feel about the food?" :)

ah, ah, that was the funniest post I saw yet on your channel. good show!!!

Wow very interesting to hear this perspective. Great video!

soulless concrete houses? I've never thought of it that way and my father came from a village from China. It is true! Good description!

Honesty used to be considered a positive trait yet the hateful comments would lead one to believe otherwise. I completely understand what he's talking about, my wife refused in advance numerous times to go out due to the obligation of 'returning the favor' that would be expected, not because were cheap, merely because it can become extremely time consuming. What was hard for me, was that it seemed to be always about 'try this' rather than "what does your husband like" so I went through a lot of napkins and appeared to have a small bladder to those around me :-) Like Winston, the hospitality was always appreciated however at times all I could think about was the phrase "to much of a good thing" and would find myself extremely bored if it dragged out. Christ, even here in BC, I only accept going to her brothers on occasion for tea due to it being a 3-4hr commitment. Am I implying that I don't appreciate his hospitality, hell no, it only implies that I would prefer it to be a 30min-1hr visit instead. Do your thing Winston, fk the haters....but lay off C-milk or I'll tell his boyfriend (Prozzie) to kick your ass. Who am I kidding, Prozzie's got no game and C-milks out of his league. Just kidding guys, Proz "ohhhh Canadaaaa", just busting your balls bud, cheers

I also made mistake of saying I liked pig trotters, so with one friend he only brings me to restaurant with pig , and always orders it for me , sometimes 2 dishes worth, He doesnt understand why I dont eat 5 lbs of feet

I just want to say how much I enjoy your video's and C-Milks videos. Thanks P.S. You should boil the peanuts in salt water for a few hours. Boiled peanuts are the best (Southern American delight)

Sounds like touring through the Middle East. A friend was touring through the back roads and hinterlands of Palestine and Lebanon and many courteous people invited him in their homes. They all lavished him with tea loaded with so much sugar that you can see a lot settling in the bottom of the glass. Nobody believed him when he said he does not like sweet tea, but prefers it straight. Kind of like touring through Mississippi and telling the people there you do not like sweet tea; they just don't believe you and they try to push that swill on you.

Regardless of the subject matter I could listen to your soothing voice all day

One of the best vids. Can hear the passion

I stumbled on your vids by accident. They’re great. I’ve never been to China and do not want to go. But I’ve been to Sapporo, Japan a few times and their hospitality is great. The people I met have never tried to “best” me. They’re proud of what they do/have but also ask a ton of questions about me, family, England. They show genuine interest. Give me Japan ANYDAY!!!!

Honestly Serpentza, the more I listen to your videos the more I start to hear the clear clarion call of the homesick westerner. My wife's Russian and I can last two/3 weeks in Russian villages before I'm ready to come home

how fast are you driving!¡? lol!!!!! it looks so fast.. is that just the camera doing that?

LOL at the calling C-milk out. Too funny! Stay true winston

I had a friend who was a middle manager in a utilities firm in China , she kept inviting me to company dinners and her boss was always there . He was a bit domineering towards me in front of everyone....I went to three or more such dinners before I figured I was being used for ‘face’ whether by my friend or her boss I don’t know for sure

Oh have you had yak milk tea yet? It’s more of a Tibetan thing but if you love drinking butter you should try it.

what's the positive of their hospitality? the saying good bye part?

Very interesting video. Thanks!

i absolutley love your honesty as some people lie in these videos showing their point of view from a forced positive perspective to make things seem better than they are where as you just give your point of view without covering things up

"They want to show you their good hospitality and this is what you'll get every time" LMAO

International connection-- you are so honest 😂

Winston you are the definition of Awsome keep up the good work

I just look forward to your blogs my friend,! 👍👍👌👌🇬🇧

Even this video bored me. I can't even imagine the excruciatingly long day you guys had.

To avoid all those foods you can claim being vegetarian, although, in my experience, it might be difficult to explain the concept of being vegetarian to them as well.

Dude, Your comments, your comments are so dry so sarcastic they crack me up. You are so funny I don’t know if you’re trying to be funny but you are so funny I love your dry humor. I got to see more of your videos so far I’ve liked everyone of them thank you.

I am learning a lot! Thank you!

Being window dressing gets old very quickly so after 10 years I'm sure the smiles take tons of effort. As far as hygiene and sanitary standards it's tough when we are accustomed to 1st world living. Your perceived cool life has heaps of behind the scenes work , sacrifice and compromise from what I can see. Its awesome to vicariously experience from my lazyboy air conditioned abode , sipping on a quality beer out of a clean glass. Thanks.

Their dumplings are one of my favorite Chinese foods, especially homemade.

So serpentza, What are those 20 questions that you get all the time? Would you do a video about them? Love the channel.

I like those soundtracks in the beginning of your videos..reminds me of 80s 90s movies from my childhood

Seems like after 10 years there you are having trouble “staying awesome “ 😂

Not sure what exactly was preventing you from leaving? If you lived in China for so many years and married to Chinese, you should know that they often insist on you staying or treating you lunch or dinner purely out of being polite. It is considered rude to not trying to keep your guest stay. That is just culture, it does not mean they really want to keep you there. If you understand this, and I'm pretty sure you do, you would just get up and insist on leaving. Simply tell them: Thank you for your hospitality. We must leave and we have business to attend to. And just get up and leave. They would insist that you must stay for lunch, dinner, tea, whatever. But you must be firm and resolute. You would often see Chinese people in restaurant fighting to pay for the meal. If you don't fight to pay, it's rude. Very odd indeed to foreigners. It does not mean that they love paying for the meal. It's a culture of overly politeness and having "face". On the other hand, Chinese can also be very rude and direct to each other in public place. So to sum it up, their culture requires them to be polite, but they don't really enjoy being polite if they don't have to. They are very efficient people as well. It's a complicated culture that is caught in between traditional Confucius' virtue and social rules, destructive cultural revolution brought on by communist party and frenzy materialistic Bureaucratic capitalism.

Very good one and very interesting.

Thanks for sharing!