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The personal opening was super relatable for a fellow survivor. Swoop is in her 🔥Dracarys🔥 phase and I'm here for it! We love you and support you, you're incredible! 💙💜
As someone who at 16 got pregnant by someone well over the age of 21 , my parents nor his protected ME during the 1980's. I showed up to my jr prom with a 26 yr old. No one stepped in .not a single adult. Spent decades in abusive relationships. Therapy and being alone healed me. ❤
@@starsunmoon30 I married mine literally on my 18th birthday.. ON my 18th birthday.. 5 weeks after I graduated highschool 😬. We are NOT protected. I'm holding space for your journey 🫶
I went to a school dance, at 14, with a 29 yo. Not one adult - family or at school -said anything. In therapy now, as I still don’t know how to process my mother allowing/supporting it.
@@tinareed4273 sending you 🫂and healing energy...mine Started at 15 so I understand. Know you can find healing with a good therapist and sticking with it. I've been in therapy now for 7 years after the death of my son, and it is something I will probably be in ,in some capacity,for the rest of my life, because I have finally found peace and healing. I hope you are finding peace and healing as well 🫶🦋
I read an analogy on Twitter about the "perfect victim" and how trauma makes a person act and react. If a person walks into the woods and sees two animals in a trap, one is a wolf that's snarling, thrashing, and growling, and one is a bunny, sitting still not making a noise, they're going to choose to help the bunny, not thinking about how they're both trapped, terrified and just want to get away to survive, just that one doesn't look like it'll bite and will be easier, and that's what people want from victims: for us to be sweet, innocent, to not show pain or fear or anger and to be easy to help and defend, but it doesn't matter if a victim is thrashing and growling or if they're perceived as sweet and nonthreatening, just like the animals in the trap, they're going to act and react in a way that the traumatized brain thinks is going to help keep them alive.
The problem is, Tana is an example of a victim that many people dislike due to her past behavior. Tana is not particularly well-liked while Cody was well-liked. Think of the boy who cried wolf. Tana is apparently known to lie or exaggerate. When she's telling the truth, many don't believe her. Thankfully, people now believe her and take her trauma seriously. Tana did not deserve what happened to her, and Cody was a freaking predator for sleeping with a 17 year old as a 25 year old man. He was in the wrong because he took advantage of Tana. There was a power imbalance since she was a minor.
That is a great explanation, and I have said on a couple of chats that she is a great illustration of CPTSD. It makes us do screwed up things that hurt ourselves and others. And the wolf is a victim, too. But a dangerous one to try to help. Tana may manage to fix her issues and turn herself around, like Trisha is working on doing. I hope so. It seems she has quit drinking, and that is HUGE. It will help.
@@justkiddin84 it wasn't a perfect analogy, unfortunately. The thrashing was meant to be the reaction to trauma, fighting back against an abuser, being suspicious of people in general and especially new ones and those who try to get closer to us during and after the fact, pushing people away, and lashing out at our loved ones that we know in our lucid(?) state are the people who want to help but in the moment of that trauma being triggered our brains instinct to survive overrides all rational thinking and knowledge, and it doesn't discriminate friend or foe, only that there is a potential threat nearby and to get away.
It reminds me of an old saying ," for a man to be found guilty he must have done nothing right in his life, for a woman to be found innocent she must have done everything right in her life." I am so glad you are back and I am sorry for any pain you must still be feeling. We LOVE Queen SWOOP!
When I was 17, a 25 year old man put his hand down my shirt. At that point in my life, I was very sheltered, hadn’t had my first kiss yet, and had NO idea how inappropriate it was for him to be flirting with me at that time. He quit talking to me and I blamed myself for him not wanting to talk to me anymore. It destroyed me. His friends used to treat me like I was crazy and say, “he quit talking to you because he doesn’t want to go to jail” once again, I was super sheltered, so I had no idea what that meant. Now I’m 28 and it’s taken me a little over 10 years to realize what happened to me and it wasn’t my fault it happened. I thought this whole time that I wasn’t a victim due to not being r worded, but I was a baby who had no idea. Thank you, Swoop, but helping me realize that it really wasn’t me and it was always him. Thank you for making me feel valid ❤
I can’t imagine how confusing that must have been for a child. I’m so sorry if anyone else in your life reinforced that it was your fault. It wasn’t, and that is still considered statutory rp. Hope you are doing better now! It sounds like you have a lot more awareness about your experience. Still so tough to imagine now that we know so much as adults.
It's crazy to me that she said this in a live show that wasn't supposed to be filmed and someone leaked it and yet people got mad at her for trying to destroy Cody's reputation as if the leaking of that allegation wasn't itself a huge violation of her consent
yeah, honestly that fan deeply betrayed her and that’s not chill. it’s also not chill what cody did… but tana wasn’t trying to make this as public as it has now gotten and i really feel for all of the literal human beings involved with this…people are shockingly quick to dehumanize someone they feel made an error. it’s a massive problem.
@@dakz9296 yeah I’m not defending him. I am still going to treat him like a human however. And I still firmly believe it was a fundamental betrayal of Tana for that fan to post a video from a show that was not to be recorded. You know that two things can be true at the same time right?
The people who keep crying “16 isn’t really a child!” drive me nuts. A 16 year old can’t drink, smoke, freely drive, etc. Cops or doctors still automatically look for their parents. They’re not a toddler, but that doesn’t make them an adult. No amount of “maturity” can make a 16 year old an adult.
Tbh, even if she was 18, it'd still be gross (just not illegal, but I doubt frat boy Cody gave a crap there). When I was 25, I looked at 18 year olds like "oh, you sweet, summer child". What fully grown, fully developed, whole a$$ adult is looking at a teenager (and yes, this includes 18/19 yr olds rn) as anything but a teen/child? Simple answer: creeps that don't get called out nearly as much as they should.
This is my 1st time speaking on a platform, I was the R word with a so-called friend. He took me to a party were there was no girls all GUY'S!! I was scared because I was in the middle of nowhere but felt a little relief that I knew Cory! I trusted him because he never hit on me vise versa. When I feel asleep on a cot up stairs with other many cots and a few others were sleeping as well. He took advantage of me and I never felt vulnerable, worthless and scared. The whole time he told me to shut up that I wanted this!!! When he was finished taking advantage of me another guy was coming upstairs for his turn. I was terrified that I pushed him out of the way and found a room with a door. Remember I was in the middle of no were and knew only my so called friend that drove who just R word me. That guy was now pound on the door yelling for me to get out. Finally he left me alone. The next morning on the way Cory taking me back home told me that if I told anyone that he knew were I lived that he would and will hurt my whole family. I did file a police report but later on drop the charges because in the back of my head was his voice replying " If you say anything or do anything I will hurt you and your family". I lost ALL my friends. It was not only the worst thing that ever happened to me but now had no one on my side. I dropped out of school and severely depressed. I forgot to mention I was only 16 and Cory was 22. It took me years to talk about it, I had nightmares, anxiety. I barley left the house. Again thanks for letting me share.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. None of it was your fault and I hope you find healing and find your strength. You have people in your corner, even if it doesn't feel like it. We got you here ❤
1:31:17 The thing that's so sad is that people seem to completely skip over the part where Tana grew up in a horrible environment with no guidance or proper childcare. She acted the way she did because she couldn't have possibly known the dangers and how to keep herself safe at 17. She left home at 15 and people think she's to blame for everything. She was still a CHILD. SWOOP, at 1:37:30 hearing your experience made me feel so validated. I met my ab**er a few weeks before my 17th birthday and he was 31. I really appreciate you covering this so well. I love you and your work. ❤
when those in your childhood home are not safe, nobody is teaching you how to take care of yourself by spotting unsafe people or spotting red flags. unsafe and red flags are normal, they're all you knew. you have to figure it out in adulthood and "reparent" yourself to understand those things. it's not fair and not easy.
I thought that I was the perfect victim. Newly married, getting my doctorate, drugged, assaulted, and had to run through the woods of a Writing Colony half-naked for 2 miles to find help. The people who found me thought I had taken drugs. I woke up 2 days later, realized this man came from a very rich family, I had gone to his cabin thinking his wife was going to be there, accepted a drink while waiting for her, and coming from a family of lawyers with no hospital bloodwork, I immediately knew how this was going to go down. He did it again. I felt like it was my fault for not speaking up. I just wanted to save my marriage. It didn't work. But someday, a woman will come out against him. And I will fight for her. People ask, how are you making these claims 20 years later? It's because of guilt. It's because you cannot let that woman fight alone. It's because you wish you had spoken up even knowing the outcome wouldn't be in your favor. I wait every day to hear that a woman has finally decided. Enough. So that I can raise my hand and be ridiculed for not wanting my marriage and career to end over a losing battle years ago. If you're out there, know that YOU LOSE no matter what you do. SPEAK.
Commenting so this gets pushed up the list. I know it may not mean much, but my heart is with you. I hope that you have the peace and justice you deserve.
I believe you and know that you did whatever you thought was right for yourself. I’m so sorry you went through this. Hope that sick man gets all that is coming to him.
She looks so young in some of those clips, the ones from around the time of Playlist. Her face, voice, posture, mannerisms, makeup, vocabulary, etc ALL come across as very young. She was never given the chance to develop appropriately 😪
D'Angelo really did come out swinging for a 1 hit knockout & then call out the whole system & i have so much respect for him for that (not that we didn't respect him before cuz we did but this was a huge callout that was dangerous to do)
@@ladylazulisystem6766 yeah, he's a legend, an absolute unit of a wholesome human being. He and Swoop are some of the few who really come across like they're doing this because they care.
Every time Swoop says "it's not your fault" it brings me to tears because every time it strikes such a chord that it feels like she's talking directly to me. As I go through my own healing process it always helps to be reminded that we are all valid. Thank you Swoop. Welcome back.
1:38:46 this was exactly what I needed to hear. I’m a survivor of DV and SA. I recently got into a bad car accident, and the “Good Samaritan” that tried to “help me” tried to SA me too. I luckily was able to fight him off and run away. But that really reopened old wounds. I have some family that blames me for all of what I’ve been through. I’ve been struggling to mentally cope with it all. Thank you for your words, they really brought me comfort. I hope that all of us can find healing too.
But he’s still friends with him. You hypocrites would demand Noel to cut all ties with Cody if he se*ually abused a 17 yr old boy. The double standards
@@Dolphinboi I don't think we actually know if they're still personally friends or not. They're tied up in a company that they both own, hence why the company hasn't been able to say anything, and likely there's contracts involved and stuff that means noel can't say anything right now
Here's the thing: I asked a 50-year old gen x-er what he thought about this situation, and what he would've done. He immediately said "Whoa! That's when you say hell no and get outta there" So much for things being different "back then". 🙄
It really does depend on the person, I used to work fast food and started in 89. Back then there was official policy that managers don't date crew, it was broken all the time. Where I live age of consent is 16 and the best you could say for some of the managers was that they stayed away from jail bait (people who were underage of consent, not that they waited until the crew member was 18). These managers on the whole were in their early 20's though some were a little older.
Believe me, it was exactly the same, and culturally supported back then. But there were and are real men. Gentlemen. Who understand boundaries, treat women as humans and with respect in every generation. And the opposite, and shades between. Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be douche bags.
That’s how people SHOULD react, but as an older millennial, trust me that’s not how it was back then for everyone unfortunately. Doesn’t mean it’s okay or that me as a 16 year old girl didn’t get creeped on by older guys in their 20’s, but it was accepted in pop culture, movies, etc… it was GROSS back then still, and fortunately the world is looking through a different lense these days.
@@AshleyFromTX is it though? It’s being pointed out, but there are too many folks like the Tate brothers and Girl Defined having huge influence on kids. The fight is far from over.✌️🗳️🟦
Thank you for making this video. Unfortunately I was SAed by a close relative as a child and was forced to tell my mother about it after my sister found out and decided everyone had to know. I made an anonymous post on reddit and she somehow found it I had planned on taking it to the grave with me. I was so ashamed. I'm now trying to salvage all the damage that she's caused. It's frustrating that she took something so traumatizing of mine and decided to make it public in a very dramatic way, and now I have more trauma to deal with. Thank you for whoever chose to read this comment
I'm so sorry! I can absolutely relate. My mom and sister did the exact same with me. I had an abortion at 17 and somehow my sister found out and it became public knowledge, including my mom and my bf's mom (who was hardcore Catholic)... It was awful. I'm not comparing the gravity of my situation because SA is much more traumatizing and not a choice, but I wanted to share that I can fully relate to families airing the dirty laundry that we wanted to keep in the basket. ❤❤
@@CrystalCat24 thank you for sharing, I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s so unfair how it got taken away from us. Sending lots of love and hugs! 💚
That's so terrible how you were further traumatised, but I would probably have reported it to your family too(although hopefully more subtly than your sister). I feel like any witness has a duty to bring SA into the open. Abusers don't stop until society stops them, they find new victims until they stop getting access to them. Especially when our legal system may require multiple victims before they act, it's important to prevent future abuse. Evil often needs the darkness to operate, and is killed when brought to light. It's perfectly natural to not want to speak out and take your time, there's nothing wrong with that whatsoever, and hopefully you'll be able to forgive your sister some day. I think both of you are heroes for showing your bravery in horrible circumstances.
You’re so healing. This story hits so close to home because I met my ex husband, baby daddy, when I was 16… he was 25. I got pregnant at 17 and gave birth at 18. 17 is legal in Texas. We had 3 children together…. In 2021 my oldest daughter came to me and told me he was SA her. Not in those words but… I reported it, we have been waiting for her day in court. It’s supposed to be coming up…. But unfortunately justice probaly isn’t on her side. She is a victim, but is one of the strongest people I know. I’ve always struggled to see myself as a victim… (even though my divorce attorney said the words “I was groomed”) I appreciate you so much!!! ❤ pray for us on our journey! 🙏🏼
I absolutely loathe the fact that Cody's wife and I have the same name. The Council of Kelsey's must convene and help bust this poor woman out because HONEY she needs to GTFO away from her creeper husband.
Because grown ass people who like to hit on kids are typically also liars and cheats so it would be SAFE to assume she didn't know. While it is possible that she could be complicit, it is highly unlikely. If we don't see a split in the very near future then it will be safe to say we lost her. @@amya7637
One of the saddest things to me is how normalized stuff like this is in these spaces that Tana didn't even realize how bad it was until she saw the internet's reaction to it. She doesn't have to be traumatized by it to call him out for creepy and illegal behaviors, but I hope tana realizes any kind of hurt she's experienced from this is 100% valid. It doesn't matter what she was wearing or if she was flirting because at the end of the day she was a CHILD and it was the grown man's job to set that boundary and guide her in the right direction not take advantage of a CHILD whom was also a FAN. We can recognize the stuff Tana has said and done in the past and hold her accountable while also recognizing she has been taken advantage of not only by Cody but by this industry and listen to her experience.
We all know it's unacceptable for an adult to have sex with a minor, but why is any CHILD "flirting" with ANYONE and where does a child learn to flirt? 😂🤔
@@TomikaKellyI mean, the internet, films, TV, music videos... Children are inundated with imagery of how to flirt. They aren't inundated with imagery of how and when not to though, and that's why it is the adults responsibility to shut that shit down
@TomikaKelly because we're inundated with hypersexualization, of wanting to be grown up and not a child any longer (13 going 30 is a good example). Also, saying, 'well, why was she flirting with an adult?' Victim blaming. Stop shifting any part of wrong doing onto the child that doesn't know better. Be a f*cking adult. You know better.
Well this is not true. I was a victim of many things, but not all those things traumatized me. Some I dealt with and had a good understanding of what I'd went through. So, no. Not everything is traumatizing. She has said she is not traumatized by it. Her reaction doesn't mean it wasn't wrong. But not every event causes unresolved trauma. Telling her how she feels or how she is traumatized when she said she isn't, not cool. Also she was a minor, an adolescent and she was Not a child. It was still deplorable what he did. But a child is a child. It's like people try to make it worse by calling her a child. 9-11 are the last ages for children. She was not a child.
Repzilla didn't understand state mandated reporting. Not everyone is a state mandated reporter. It applies to caregivers, police officers, pastors, other positions with a raised responsibility of care. Just for clarity. Witnesses cannot be forced to testify basically. Just the fact that you introduced Tana through what she went through as a child instead of bad decisions made as an adult is more respect than she's been given in this whole thing.
In Indiana, New Jersey, North Carolina, and Wyoming, EVERYONE is a mandated reporter if they witness any crime against a child. IMO that needs spread across the whole country
@@Unfortunately_Mickey There is no mandatory reporting at all here in New Zealand and that irritates the fuck out of me, especially since we have some of the highest rates of child abuse in the world. Wonder why
It does vary by state as to whom is considered a mandatory reporter, which is wild to me that there isn’t a nationally defined list of mandatory reporters that all 50 states and U.S. territories have to abide by.
@@justkiddin84 She didn't witness a crime against a child. She suspected a crime. Imagine that you see a kid screaming and crying while being pulled towards a car by a man. Do you assume the man is the kid's dad or that the child is being abducted? If you assume it's the kid's dad and you're wrong, you're now criminally liable for failing to report. If you assume the child is being abducted and you're wrong, you're now civilly liable for the man's legal fees and (potentially) mental anguish.
1:40:00 Your “you are valid” monologue gave me the biggest goosebumps of my life. Thank you for uplifting other survivors and being so vulnerable about your own experiences. It truly does make us feel less alone. I’m so sorry what happened to you happened. I hope you know that you are valid too, Swoop.
I was SA’d while serving in the military, I wasn’t believed when I told my chain of command and was even asked if “I asked for it” because wore makeup and perfume. No charges were ever filed against my abuser. I sadly ran into him years later and found out that he SA’d another female during deployment and had his rank taken away while the court proceedings were pending. I felt sick because if only I had been believed it would not have happened to any one else. I still live with the trauma of what happened.
I believe you. I am sorry for what you've suffered. Often the gaslighting after and the way people treat you affects you worse than the event. At least that's how it was for me. The way people attack you and your character, not just because they don't believe you, but they are frustrated that you just don't shut up and deal with you. How dare you "cause trouble".
I really feel you with the "guilt" of not being able to stop it from happening to other people too, I know there's at least 3 victims after me, and only from one of them he actually went to jail, but didn't stay there nearly long enough considering how many people he has hurt in such a brutal way...
Honey, I am 62, and I feel you. Therapy really does help, even just for a short time-they can help you see a way to happiness. It is not easy. I struggle. But it is possible.🫂♥️
such a set back for us (ex) fans who felt like he was a safe content creator to trust and enjoy the content and, as a sa survivor myself, hearing about this made me feel that most of the people who are abusers/harassers are closer to light then ever and this is not going to fly amazing doc swoop (still watching!!) ❤
I feel that. It's really hard when you're a survivor of abuse/trauma and you think that this person is on your side and speaking up for things to change so that no one else has to go through what you did... and it all turns out that was part of the facade for them. I can't speak to what it's like to deal with SA (though my heart goes out to you. Remember you aren't alone and this internet stranger has your back), but my abusive father was/is very much like Cody Ko in the "gives off golden boy" vibes way. He'd say all the right things and sound like he actually cared about people... meanwhile, he was physically, emotionally, financially, and psychologically abusive toward me and my sibling for over a decade. The only thing I can say for Cody now is that watching him get *rightfully* called out and watching his chickensh!t response, with his tail between his legs has been its own form of catharsis for me. My father will never face these kinds of repercussions. He still has people who think he's a great guy and a great boss and would probably still back him even if I spoke out to people that know him. He deserves as much, imo, as Cody does (would love to watch him squirm trying to explain away detailed stories of his abusive behavior in front of everyone he knows), but the world is not a wish granting factory and I know an uphill battle when I see one. But at least Cody got his. His colleagues, his audience, everyone sees who he really is and it feels kinda good to see that all that change they pretended to speak for happened even if they didn't mean it. Keep strong. The fakes like Cody Ko get exposed and get theirs. And it happens because those who really care and really mean all of this are still speaking out. Wishing you happiness and healing!
@@KingOfGaymesyeah same :/ I’ve been a fan ever since he and Noel made that girl defined video, so like 5ish years?? Definitely feels like I can’t trust anyone at this point.
For me it's how the crowd went from "OHHHH MY GOOOOOD😍" to "Ooooooohhh my god...💀" SO FAST- Anyway, this is a really serious topic and I'm glad ur covering it Swoop :D even if I don't like Tana, that doesn't make her less of a victim 🩷 hope she heals from everything, thanks again swoop💕
I was always mostly ambivalent toward Tana before this (I know she's done some not good stuff in the past, but I never really knew the full details and she was never a content creator I was focused on enough to really pay attention to it, tbh), but watching her discuss this and her being the same age now as Cody was when he was creeping on her and her SEEING just how gross it all was now that she's on this side of 25 has really made me feel for her. I hope she keeps being the baddie with the attitude she's showing herself to be through all of this. ❤
@@bobbybobbinson69 She was a minor. It is the adults responsibility to not sleep with minors. Just because other adults were willing to sleep with an already traumatized minor, doesn't mean you should too or that it's okay. Stop being creepy. Ya'll need to have your hard drives examined.
@@compassionandhumility she was two months from 18 and physically mature. How about stop destroying someone's career over something that's perfectly legal in more than half the states. There's nothing creepy about saying that you're all taking it too far. Get your hard drive checked
@@bobbybobbinson69 listen I get that it's upsetting, I personally don't like Tana myself but she was young... ur brain technically only develops when ur 25, and I know in the eyes of the law ur legally an adult at 18 but Tana was young and clearly has/had issues and people took advantage of that :/ people like Cody, who was the adult in this situation, should've known better. I get that it's really horrible when it's a content creator u look up to but if the allegations are true then... technically in law and in the eyes of public interest, it's illegal and disgusting, whether she was close to 18 or not isn't relevant, point is he slept with a minor, knowing she was a minor...
Who says 17 isn't even a child?? They may physically seem all grown up but I think I myself at 20 or something was still mentally so stupid and naïve let alone at 17? I can guarantee y'all they're still KIDS
Commenting again. I'm not finished, but I feel compelled to share. My abuser used to be in a semi famous band. They toured with Greta Van Fleet. He was actually kicked out for doxxing GVF to a stalker, lol. Anyways. When I came out with my statement of how he abused me, he not only sent family and friends on burner accounts after me, but he sent a cease and desist. Additionally, he went on to accuse me of abuse and rape. Swoop, you saying "you deserve to tell your story as many times as you want to" made something shift in me. Thank you so fucking much for your work. Thank you.
It is so easy to forget how young tana actually is. We need to give her the room and grace to be able to acknowledge and process in this in the way that is best for her.
I just turned 26 last month and anybody under like 24 feels too young, but a 17 YEAR OLD?? It’s so disgusting and the fact anybody is defending Cody is sickening 🤢
I love D’Angelo, but SWOOP’s team is able to perform soooo much research (legal and otherwise) and I always get so much more concrete information from SWOOP’s videos.
hi swoop, i just want to thank you for making this docu on this situation. i am sending parts of this docu to my parents so that they can try to understand why/how they overstepped and hurt me earlier this year when they blamed me for an SA that i spoke out about publicly. we took a long break and we just finally were able to talk, but the things you have said in this video will hopefully help my parents process their own traumas too and understand themselves better. you are so wonderful, thank you for bringing a safe space to this platform, and also a space where people can be kindly educated on the appropriate way to handle hearing about other peoples trauma. ❤ i feel so grateful to be seen this way and i see you too
as someone struggling with her mental health after doing better for a while- despite never experiencing SA - your little speech at the end really got to my heart. thank you
It shouldn’t matter if Tana isn’t perfect. Neither are us. That doesn’t take away from what happened to her when SHE WAS 17! It doesn’t matter if “she was almost 18” A CRIME WAS DONE TO GER WHEN SHE WAS 17.
Exactly! She doesn't believe it, but she was the victim and not the perpetrator. When I was 17, I thought dating a man in his 20s was cool. Tana didn't think much of it when she was a literal teen. Cody knew it was wrong but still did it with her.
Yes! I keep saying the point of these laws is that minors can't consent! It doesn't matter if she was almost legal, she WASNT legal. If you loosen the boundary on the age limits to "18, but 17 is close enough," there's no point to them, and then it becomes well, 16 isn't far from 17, and 15 isn't far from 16, and 14 isn't far from 15... where is the line? Oh, right, EIGHTEEN. (Give some gross states where it's lower but so the IQs of those states but I digress)
I hate people who kiss and tell, so it makes me feel less bad for her. Sorry, not sorry. If she truly feels harmed then the police station would've been a better place for that "confession" NOT a live podcast.
@@TomikaKellyexactly, obviously she doesn't feel greatly wronged, she probably just feels like "wow that was crazy, probably shouldn't have done that"
I was groomed and didn't even know it happened until 4 years after I had cut total contact with the person. I've been SAed multiple times. Swoop, you helped me realize, you've made me feel validated and understood. I suffer from chronic pain and exhaustion, depression and other things. Thank you for being so open and letting people who watch your videos tell their stories in a safe space.
Me too. I didn't realize how wrong everything he did to me was until I started talking to a friend I had about it while distracted building computers. By the time I finished talking that night I was curled up under the worktable in the corner. It took me another year before I could finally report it and that was because he was trying to buy the property that's connected to my childhood home and I had to get a restraining order because I couldn't imagine what he might do to my sisters or any other children in my hometown.
@@nalafischer9163 I'm glad you got out of it and helped your sisters and other kids. What made you act doesn't diminish the fact that you did. You did something good, I hope you're proud of yourself.
Same! I've never been into RU-vid creator drama, so when the creators I watch now bring up apparently super famous RU-vidrs were involved in huge scandals, I'm like who the fuck is that lmao
@@alexp712same! At this point, the only ones that have come under fire for being sketch (or worse) that used to follow is zhc and now mr beast.. and really only one of those i expect to see as a swoop doc at some point
As part of your audience, and I cannot speak for everyone else but I feel sure from the comments that others feel similarly to me, it is an honor to be part of your community and hold time and space for you to include your personal experiences in your doc content. I hope we continue to be a safe enough place for you to speak and express yourself and your experiences in any way that you are comfortable with.
It still surprises me that no one has remembered/brought up the fact that around this same era Shane Dawson literally had Tana pee/fake pee on him for a video 🤨 Tana has been used and taken advantage of by so many people in the RU-vid industry
Also Jason Nash (who is 51 years old at the moment!!!) kissed Tana when she was 17 or just barely turned 18, I don't remember. She basically grew up surrounded by predators.
It took me decades to even remember exactly what happened to me as a toddler and young child - but now in my 30s I speak out about how it impacted me becoming a DV survivor as an adult in my 20s, because its so important for people to understand that its NEVER a victim's fault. No matter what, you did NOT ask to be abused in any way, and whatever it takes to get to safety, do whatever you have to do. For anyone still suffering and struggling, please reach out. All survivors are heroes, and we are not going to be silenced. Speak up. You deserve to speak out.
This video is the perfect example of why I love you- you addressed all of the nuances affecting this entire situation. You even included so much more context than some other videos. You're incredibly articulate and well-researched, as well as tactful in your acknowledgement of the legal issues surrounding this. Is Tana perfect? No. But as a person who has also had a near identical experience, I truly hate to see everyone so dismissive of her. Especially in regard to the fact that somebody else took it upon themselves to tell her story for her.
Tapped on the video so fast that it hasnt even shown up on your channel page yet. Hope you're doing better and I pray for the best for you whether things take on a more legal direction or not after that ❤
In my personal experience, people almost never take you seriously if you were „only assaulted“. I was assaulted by my step father when I was 8, I told my mother and after she realized he „only touched me“ and nothing more so she went on to tell me that I shouldn’t tell anyone because my friends at school would slut shame me for it and people wouldn’t like me so what was the point? I came out with it again in middle school, cps got involved and all. She had kicked me out a week prior and I was staying with my dad at the time, she said she would make me come back home if I told them that he did anything. So I lied and said he didn’t. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD in therapy relating to my assault and it’s the only time in years that I‘ve acknowledged that what happened WAS wrong and all of the adults in my life failed to save me from it. I‘m only 16 now, and I‘m doing well. I‘m transgender and living as I wish for the most part, attempting to rekindle my relationship with my mother in some manner. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t and I’ll be okay. You make a wonderful safe space for all victims of any difference or background, thank you. ❤
@@ReviewsAndMore9 It's not vital if it's toxic and potenially abusive. Don't guilt a CHILD back into an abuse system because of society's expectations. Some moms don't deserve their children. Dear girl/boy don't be bullied. Take care of yourself first and then you can be a better person for the rest of the world. I know what I am talking about. I am 56 and had terrible parents/ childhood but I broke that cycle for my children, husband, friends etc. I have a transgender child I fully support. You can be mentally healthy and happy. As our girl says, we are valid.
@@Fiona-68 Thank you so much for this, I really appreciate your support. My family is in a stage of generational trauma and I hope to make sure I will not follow in that path too. I definitely don’t plan to subject myself to more harm than has already been shown to me. Congratulations on not following that path yourself, I wish I had a proper figure in my life like you. ❤️
@@Graysnn Remember....the entire world does not deserve your love. This includes family. as you obviously have already learned take care of yourself and then you'll be alble to love others who truly deserve you more fully.
"what, you didn think petty university had a law school?!?" absolutely cracked me tf up. thank you for digging into this in your very thorough and empathetic way
You & I both experienced similar trauma right around the same time- and I just wanted you to know that seeing your strength and seeing you talk about what happened to you helped me immensely. I have felt such heavy shame over the past 9 months and I can’t tell you how helpful it was to read your story & see how brave and wonderful you are even through something so terrible. You are amazing Swoop!
It’s such a strange thing that so many people don’t realize how serious their SA was, until they think about their own children/loved ones in their position. That’s how I realized I was SAd at 17- I rocking my at the time infant daughter to sleep thinking man, if I ever found out she was in that situation I would have called the cops sued the shit out of my work and I would have flown off the handle. Then the realization hit me that I would call the police because it was a crime. It was like a light switch turned on and I just realized how bad it actually was, I sat up and broke out into a sweat 😅 it all just hit me that I was a victim of an actual crime Wildest experience I’ve ever had
I was watching this video because I needed some background noise, I haven't left my house after recently being assaulted at a party, and I didn't know what this video was about, I needed to hear the part at the end so badly, thanks universe, and thank you SWOOP 😭🖤
In my opinion, I think the age of consent should be 18-if not a little higher! You’re not psychologically mature enough to consent to adult activities at 17 years and 11 months, so why the hell would you be psychologically mature enough to consent immediately after turning 18? In my case, I had just turned 18 and was about to be a senior in high school when a man I knew when I was 15 started messaging me and trying to illicit adult-themed conversations THE DAY I TURNED 18 because, “hey, it’s legal right?” I didn’t even realize I was being groomed by a man 10 years older than me because I thought, “no, grooming only happens to minors. I’m not a minor anymore.” The fact that so many people take advantage of young people because they’re “about to be legal” or “barely legal, but technically adults” is horrifying.
Hearing that Tana's parents tried to sue her tells me everything. Her parents want her money and they have no problem trying to silence her for speaking up about her experiences. As someone who also grew up with abusive parents, the thought of that happening has always been the stuff of nightmares in the back of my mind. Not so much for the betrayal, at this point (there's no love lost between myself and my parental units now), but just the thought that they can always find some new way to exert control over your life and make your life a living hell because they want to. I've said it before and I will say until I'm blue in the face, our society enables abusive parents, allows them to get away with all but the most heinous of abusive acts (and even then, that's iffy) and then has no problem revictimizing the children who got away from it by trying to act like YOU'RE the villian for going your own way and not speaking to them. That crap needs to change and be called the f out for what it is: blind enabling.
Yep. My parents would DEFINITELY sue me. I know they would, particularly because they've made their living out of suing innocent people. I'm a journalist now, and it infuriates me and breaks my heart that I can't use my platform to save my teenage sisters who are still stuck at home, because I can't afford to be sued, I'm very broke.
It means so much to hear someone with personal experience talk about these issues so empathetically and educationally, especially when the harmed party is not regarded as 'pure' enough to be truly harmed. Very very well spoken, Swoop! And shoutout to D'Angelo for rightly lighting a fire under the commentator community's asses about this. Both of you are exceptional at what you do and a pleasure to watch and listen to even through the hard stuff ❤
I went to elementary and middle school in Georgia and I remember we had to go to a special seminar (middle school) about the laws around sex and sexual consent in our state. The speaker told us that sodomy was illegal at any age and that the age of sexual consent is 16. One of my teachers was like "so adults can't have anal but kids can have sex? What the hell kind of a law is that." Enough said honestly.
The way you talk about SA actually heals something in me. I have the fun thing of feeling guilty about my SA as I was drunk at the time and so I often blame myself thinking maybe I could have reacted quicker and clearer if I was less drunk, but you always ease that shame feeling for me and I really appreciate it
I knew my girl was gonna be swooping in with the Cody Ko tea! Cancel my appointments babe, imma be sipping on some straight up facts at petty university 🍵 🏫 💅
Welcome back!!! I have to say, at 38, that I'm just now realizing how much I was taken advantage of as a child and young adult...it's a lot to take in because it was normalized. Seeing how these things are viewed now and how they are handled gives me a little bit of hope that maybe girls and young women in the future won't suffer as we did.
1:30:52 I think that Ryan Beard put it perfectly when he said it would be morally RIGHT for some creators to acknowledge the situation and condemn Cody, but it is not a moral OBLIGATION.
the comment at the end about validity really helped me. Im 45 and my experiences were when i was a child. That helped. Thank you. I hope you are feeling better and that goes to all of you too x
I can't say how much I appreciate you talking about survivors diminishing their own trauma. I've done that all my life. I don't want to say what, but I endured something when I was six years old, but I've always said it wasn't "bad enough" or it "didn't go that far". I really didn't consider myself as being "worthy" of the label of a survivor for years. It took telling my parents eleven years later to have someone convince and comfort me that no matter what, suffering isn't a contest, it was real, and my story was enough. It's so comforting to hear that I'm not the only one who did that, because I can't lie, those thoughts have made me question if I'm a liar a lot. Partly because sometimes it feels easier to think it's a lie then to acknowledge that it happened. Hearing feelings I've had for so long put into words is endlessly valuable- thank you, Swoop. For sharing your story and uplifting so many people as you do.
I'm sorry you went through that and thank you for sharing. I, too, diminished my abuse for so long because I thought I was old enough to know better (16-19 yrs) and we were *dating*. It's still hard at times for me to let myself know that I did nothing wrong and he's a monster that hurt me and so many other children.
@@nalafischer9163 Thank you so much- and that sounds horrendously difficult to have to go through. The process of healing tends to be long and hard from what I've come to see of it, but it does get better. It sucks that the mind can be cruel to us. Sending well wishes your way, and wishing you healing and peace.
swoop, i know you may not see this, but i just want you to know that you have such a powerful voice. i was brought to tears at the end of your video listening to you validate peoples experiences. you have such a good heart. thank you for using your platform to talk about difficult subjects but also to uplift people. you are a warrior. you matter. your voice matters. i am so glad you're here. thank you for giving a voice to the voiceless. and also, welcome back, we missed you here❤️
I appreciate hearing these stories. I, like many others, am a victim of DV and I wasn't believed by the people I tried getting help from first. And unfortunately, years later, I'm still married to him because divorce is expensive, and my spouse is making the process crap. Petty university has helped me cope. Thank you Swoop. I truly mean it.
Babe wake up! A new Swoop doc is out! In all seriousness though, I appreciate you covering this so so much! Your docs are always thorough, and make sure that we understand and see how bad these situations are. It's not drama, it's dangerous!!❤❤ After watching the doc fully: It always makes me tear up when you say that its not our fault for being abused/assaulted. I'm still processing my trauma, and its been really hard. Thank you for reminding me that its not my fault for it❤
Swoop (and then therapy) helped me understand that I had been abus&d as a child, 21 years after the fact. I can't even begin to explain how much these docs helped me
swoop! i am about to start my first year of grad school as a therapist-in-training, and i have a special focus on trauma therapy. everything you said in "the 'perfect' mind" segment was SO eloquent and important to share. it spoke to me both as an individual person continuing to travel the messy and INCREDIBLY long journey that is Healing, as well as a future therapist who plans to specialize in individuals with traumatic experiences including SA that negatively affect development. you are such an amazing genuine person and you rock!! we appreciate all the work that goes into making and sharing this content :)
Thank you for the message at the end of the video. I’ve been struggling with my own experience lately when I thought I’d put it behind me, and hearing you say that I am valid really hit me. You are such a positive force in this community and I am so glad you’re around, welcome back 😊
I appreciate you saying how sometimes survivors can diminish their own trauma as I’ve definitely done this with my own experiences and didn’t realize how common this is
"Why didn't you tell your parents?" I did. They said I was trying to get attention. Why would I tell anyone else when my own parents didn't believe me.
Ngl you ate with the “going home with the prom queen” line. Not to take away from what you said but I’m just listening and I was like damn. She ate that up 😂
32:33 As a person who went to the show where videos got leaked. Technically yes you don’t need to be 18+ to get in but also it’s not targeted towards kids. I didn’t see any kids around me going to the show. Her audience is adults. Sexually topics are talked about and scandals 😂
The tickets say 18+ when you buy them online, but they may not check IDs at the door. But definitely not something people would ever think was for children... the whole brand is about NSFW stuff.
Swoop, thank you so much for sharing your story. As somebody who was assaulted by their ex partner, the logistics can become confusing and upsetting. You reporting on stories like this and sharing your own story gives survivors like me hope.
About the "why didn't she go to the police" thing. My fiancee was sexually assaulted when she was younger. IMMEDIATELY went to the police, and she got the classic: "But look at what you're wearing" And people still ask this fucking question.
I tried watching other videos on this topic and couldn’t get into it. I KNOW SWOOP will come with everything that is need to know! Everyone leave me alone for the next 2 hours
1:39:57 in tears right now. This month marks the 10 year anniversary of some of the very worst trauma a person can go through. Every year gets a little better but shit hits the fan in summer when I am reminded. last year wasn't bad at all, so I thought it was over, but this decade mark is hurting my heart all over again 💔
I feel sorry you are traumatized and I know you may already know this, but release you troubled past to God thru Jesus and you will find peace and strength and healing. It will help you to forgive the perpetrator and then you will be released forever.
I missed you but I’m glad you’re coming back on YOUR timeline and not anyone else’s. You’re such a beautiful soul and I’m really happy to have you on my phone
Swoop, I know Im a small random voice that adores your content, and you as a person have helped me through this year in particular, but I am proud of you for making this video and I am proud of you for you openness. You talking about what you went through has helped me be stronger. I am so glad that you are ok. You have been on my mind so much. ❤❤❤
Love the input on creators. probably something we as a fan base should think about more often. happy you’re back swoop!! 😍 never ever ever any pressure to be here, you do you boo!
I've been sexually assaulted multiple times and raped multiple times, by different people. It's always been in the back of my mind that it was something I was doing. What was causing me to end up in this situation multiple times? How was I getting into these situations with different people? I thought I had processed it all. I thought that after years I was okay. I met the love of my life, a person that makes me feel so safe. In one moment, all of the trauma came back and i haven't been able to feel safe since. It wasn't like anything happened at all to make it all come back. But I've had to restart trying to process all of this again. It has been really hard trying to handle this while having someone in my life. Watching your docs is sometimes hard, but your insight and your comments mean somethin. I cannot thank you enough. It's hard to put yourself out there and you doing it time and time again means something. It means a lot. Thank you.
Random but I was frequently at Duke University back when his alleged friend/frat bro assaulted that girl. It was scary, as a black girl, seeing her take most of the heat as the victim.
Thank you for sharing your own story. Especially with what you’ve been dealing with recently. I have lived through 3 S.A. Never reported them as I blamed my mental health for putting me in those situations and one I was married to at the time. You are truly inspirational and have helped in my recovery journey with your videos
I had kind of started to like Tana even before all this came out. Because i dunno, i think its cool that shes so self aware and acknowledges how problematic she was. And that shes working with life coaches and in therapy to fix her shit. Its not easy - especially when the whole internet is hating you. In any event im glad shes speaking out about this because maybe some other 17 year old girls are listening.
I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you're receiving the care and support you deserve. Wishing you a speedy recovery and sending positive thoughts your way. ❤️
i was sexually assaulted 3 times between the ages of 14-17. i never reported and i honestly regret it so much. thank you swoop for coming forward about your trauma and i really appreciate how delicately you discuss these topics. you never trigger me at all, but i can still relate you know? anyways sorry for rambling. i hope you see this swoop!! all love from oklahoma❤❤❤
