The Entire Warhammer 40k Timeline/Story/Lore EXPLAINED By An Australian 

Can you make a admech major mini

Let me explain no too much let me sum up It was a bunch of guys that were frogs they clapped the galaxies cheeks and then clapped. Something called the realm of souls cheeks after they got done clapping those cheeks. They started making babies and seeding life with their seed and then created the elves. Who are super massively gay and kept doing stuff with each. Then you had the cancer patients who were living on a really crappy cancer ridden world. The cancer patients asked for the cure but the frogs said no. So the cancer patients started a riot and started trying to fight the frogs say get this weak crap out. Then one day the cancer patients were experimenting with internet gas and the internet gas started feeding on. Stars and stuff so they we're like let's give this a body and they did so now the internet gas has a body. and really wants to eat stuff and they found out that souls were a lot more tastier. Then Stars so they tricked all the cancer patients. Into immortality and domo arigato mr. Roboto them. So now the internet gas wanted to fight the frogs so the frogs created. Big green people with anger issues to fight the internet gas than the elves stopped. Fiddling around with each other's holes and start getting into the fight. Long story short the internet gas ate all the old ones. Then the robot people now freed themselves from the control. The internet gas and then broke them up into shards and use them as batteries and Pokemon. Elves went back to pleasuring themselves in the robot people's King decided to put all of his former cancer patients on life-support. And made them have a big sleep while he goes off into space and contemplate how he really messed things up and have a big sad. Meanwhile in the realm of souls things got messed up because of the war in the Big Green people with anger issues kept getting more angry and. Dumber but in the realm of souls these things known as chaos started taking over. Meanwhile on earth a bunch of proto humans the beta version of humans were taking shrooms and weed and stuff and saw the stuffing was like. AHHHHHHHHHAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA BAD TRIP MAN BAD TRIP !!!!! They quickly realize that hey we have super powers so they started ritually using their superpowers to commit self delete. And created the perpetual's out of one of these. Perpetual guys the Emperor of mankind he saw that he needed to guide humanity and he did. Humanity was doing pretty awesome and baller everyone was a millionaire everyone. Was rich everyone didn't need to worry about nothing. then the spacells messed up and just did a lot of lot of drugs just did so much drugs they created another chaos. God and it caused warp storms and crap so now Humanity got cut off and everyone got sad and. Now it's time for everything the sucking go back to mad Max. So the emperor saw that Earth sucked so bad he was like I'm going to clap Earth's cheeks. And so we did he clapped the Earth's cheeks hard. Then he created 20 kids for some reason to leave these things called Space Marines that he was working on. But then chaos had to go LMAO XD still all of his kids and then spread them out throughout the. Galaxy so now the emperor has to go out and find these kids and pay child support. So the emperor got into his spaceship and start looking for his kids while clapping the Galaxy cheats one playing at. A time one of these times he found Horus his favorite good boy. And then pretty soon he found all of his other kids but not all of them lived up to his expectations. So he continued to clap the galaxies cheeks until he found something in a bargain bin garage called The Golden throne. He was like oh crap I got to get this back home and not tell my kids what I'm doing in my garage I need tell him to stay out of my shed. And then he named his favourite son warmaster and went to the basement to do. Something and not tell these kids meanwhile Horus was on twitch and then he started donating a lot of gamer subs. And he really fell for cottontail VA and zentreya and went up to his dad while he was in his basement saying Hey Dad. I just gifted a bunch of subs to these women I'm totally going to meet one day and they love me for it and they said my name a lot. So they'd a had to take a break from what he was doing and slap his son and tell him you're stupid these women are never going to touch you. And he took it personally so he started something called his heresy and start killing everybody and. went full mental breakdown because he was going bald and he really wanted to meet these women. And some of his brothers felt the same way now that they were addicted to twitch. Gifted a lot of gamer subs but some of his brothers didn't and we're not into that cringe and did actual work and had jobs. Big huge War a finally came out and told Horus that he was being an idiot saw that he shanked his hawk-boy and that was a step too far. So he massively slapped him in the face and killed him. And now he's dead in all the sons ran away like cowards into the warp with chaos to do butt stuff. Emperor became a paraplegic because Horus was so mad that he dared Sully the name of zentreya cottontail VA. So now he sits on a Golden throne everything sucks everyone worship him as a god even though he told him that he wasn't a God then a few years later down the road Gilman comes back. And Gilman started doing this Gilliman: WTF !!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello darkness my old friend can we rebuild it yes we can So now he's trying to fix stuff

I await the day you make a large custom battlesuit mini that I can add to my Sept.

Okay Majorkill. And now do a 24h Video! Please!

No but really i would love to see a 24 hour "Quick Introduction into Warhammer 40K" i can send to my non-wh friends

Hahahahah there’s no going back!!!! You’re here forever now!!

They all float down here.

You've made a terrible mistake. You just don't realize it yet.

@@LuciusSicarius I realised it after I was reading a primarch wiki and after 20 minutes the cursor had hardly scrolled down

@@MrAwrsomeness no srsly and the price of books will break your balls

I don't even know if you're the original, but I condemn your commitment to this topic

real

@@senor_caves5362 I'm not THE original , but I'm the one who has been carrying it on for like 3 months or so

​@@trimeerious4349 keep it up man, your doing Chaos's work

​@Tzeentch, Lord of Fates THE EMPERORS WORK FOUL ABOMINATION

Ikr

Now, you just need friends. You’re on your way tho. 😘

@@sonsofthewestredwhiteblue5317 Lol!

​@@sonsofthewestredwhiteblue5317god damn man, ya didn't have to murder the poor fellow 😂

​@@williamklemp3764😂😂😂😂

Very easy barely an inconvenience.

Arbitor Ian has a great one as well

He's pulling something, lmao 🤣

@@Damnedlegion40k bad, dont be naughty

@@Damnedlegion40k No, please, be Naughty!

Let me explain no too much let me sum up It was a bunch of guys that were frogs they clapped the galaxies cheeks and then clapped. Something called the realm of souls cheeks after they got done clapping those cheeks. They started making babies and seeding life with their seed and then created the elves. Who are super massively gay and kept doing stuff with each. Then you had the cancer patients who were living on a really crappy cancer ridden world. The cancer patients asked for the cure but the frogs said no. So the cancer patients started a riot and started trying to fight the frogs say get this weak crap out. Then one day the cancer patients were experimenting with internet gas and the internet gas started feeding on. Stars and stuff so they we're like let's give this a body and they did so now the internet gas has a body. and really wants to eat stuff and they found out that souls were a lot more tastier. Then Stars so they tricked all the cancer patients. Into immortality and domo arigato mr. Roboto them. So now the internet gas wanted to fight the frogs so the frogs created. Big green people with anger issues to fight the internet gas than the elves stopped. Fiddling around with each other's holes and start getting into the fight. Long story short the internet gas ate all the old ones. Then the robot people now freed themselves from the control. The internet gas and then broke them up into shards and use them as batteries and Pokemon. Elves went back to pleasuring themselves in the robot people's King decided to put all of his former cancer patients on life-support. And made them have a big sleep while he goes off into space and contemplate how he really messed things up and have a big sad. Meanwhile in the realm of souls things got messed up because of the war in the Big Green people with anger issues kept getting more angry and. Dumber but in the realm of souls these things known as chaos started taking over. Meanwhile on earth a bunch of proto humans the beta version of humans were taking shrooms and weed and stuff and saw the stuffing was like. AHHHHHHHHHAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA BAD TRIP MAN BAD TRIP !!!!! They quickly realize that hey we have super powers so they started ritually using their superpowers to commit self delete. And created the perpetual's out of one of these. Perpetual guys the Emperor of mankind he saw that he needed to guide humanity and he did. Humanity was doing pretty awesome and baller everyone was a millionaire everyone. Was rich everyone didn't need to worry about nothing. then the spacells messed up and just did a lot of lot of drugs just did so much drugs they created another chaos. God and it caused warp storms and crap so now Humanity got cut off and everyone got sad and. Now it's time for everything the sucking go back to mad Max. So the emperor saw that Earth sucked so bad he was like I'm going to clap Earth's cheeks. And so we did he clapped the Earth's cheeks hard. Then he created 20 kids for some reason to leave these things called Space Marines that he was working on. But then chaos had to go LMAO XD still all of his kids and then spread them out throughout the. Galaxy so now the emperor has to go out and find these kids and pay child support. So the emperor got into his spaceship and start looking for his kids while clapping the Galaxy cheats one playing at. A time one of these times he found Horus his favorite good boy. And then pretty soon he found all of his other kids but not all of them lived up to his expectations. So he continued to clap the galaxies cheeks until he found something in a bargain bin garage called The Golden throne. He was like oh crap I got to get this back home and not tell my kids what I'm doing in my garage I need tell him to stay out of my shed. And then he named his favourite son warmaster and went to the basement to do. Something and not tell these kids meanwhile Horus was on twitch and then he started donating a lot of gamer subs. And he really fell for cottontail VA and zentreya and went up to his dad while he was in his basement saying Hey Dad. I just gifted a bunch of subs to these women I'm totally going to meet one day and they love me for it and they said my name a lot. So they'd a had to take a break from what he was doing and slap his son and tell him you're stupid these women are never going to touch you. And he took it personally so he started something called his heresy and start killing everybody and. went full mental breakdown because he was going bald and he really wanted to meet these women. And some of his brothers felt the same way now that they were addicted to twitch. Gifted a lot of gamer subs but some of his brothers didn't and we're not into that cringe and did actual work and had jobs. Big huge War a finally came out and told Horus that he was being an idiot saw that he shanked his hawk-boy and that was a step too far. So he massively slapped him in the face and killed him. And now he's dead in all the sons ran away like cowards into the warp with chaos to do butt stuff. Emperor became a paraplegic because Horus was so mad that he dared Sully the name of zentreya cottontail VA. So now he sits on a Golden throne everything sucks everyone worship him as a god even though he told him that he wasn't a God then a few years later down the road Gilman comes back. And Gilman started doing this Gilliman: WTF !!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello darkness my old friend can we rebuild it yes we can So now he's trying to fix stuff

@@wolfbane7497 why is it so specific to be CottontailVA and Zentreya though?

@@alphalightning00frost67 I don't know I was just trying to be funny

@@wolfbane7497 i thought because they were thicc, sexy and somewhat coomer material lol

​@Wolf Bane I tried to read this but I got cancer by the second paragraph

Well, atleast the khornedog boys are moderatly easy To control, as long as you have enemies To point at and tell them, 'there are skulls and blood in that direction'. But when you run out of enemies in a planet... You learn Quick why kharn is called The betrayer.

@@brok56 Kharn betrayed his legion because they stopped fighting simple

@@Cthulhuwarlord exactly. If there is no enemy blood being spilt, someone from their own team becomes a target.

Chaos is not good at coordinating and working together.

It not a achievement if you effectively use a cheat code to beat your goal.

funnily enough, weshammer used the exact same image in a vid about dark tide lore a few months ago

It's complicated but no. Even though time in the warp is weird, it's not completely random and still mostly follows real space, otherwise there would be all these galaxy ending paradoxes

@Majorkill aw but i love galaxy ending paradoxes 😞

​@@majorkillAh, gotcha. Thanks for the clarification.

You answered your own question by using the word emotion, what would its source be if not sentient life?

Well yes, but no.

Plot twitst Majorkill is the Emperor and tries to warn about the future

@@kevinbaumhoer7359 Another plot twist. The Emperor will be formed when all 40k loretubers and podcasters merge their souls into one.

Let me explain no too much let me sum up It was a bunch of guys that were frogs they clapped the galaxies cheeks and then clapped. Something called the realm of souls cheeks after they got done clapping those cheeks. They started making babies and seeding life with their seed and then created the elves. Who are super massively gay and kept doing stuff with each. Then you had the cancer patients who were living on a really crappy cancer ridden world. The cancer patients asked for the cure but the frogs said no. So the cancer patients started a riot and started trying to fight the frogs say get this weak crap out. Then one day the cancer patients were experimenting with internet gas and the internet gas started feeding on. Stars and stuff so they we're like let's give this a body and they did so now the internet gas has a body. and really wants to eat stuff and they found out that souls were a lot more tastier. Then Stars so they tricked all the cancer patients. Into immortality and domo arigato mr. Roboto them. So now the internet gas wanted to fight the frogs so the frogs created. Big green people with anger issues to fight the internet gas than the elves stopped. Fiddling around with each other's holes and start getting into the fight. Long story short the internet gas ate all the old ones. Then the robot people now freed themselves from the control. The internet gas and then broke them up into shards and use them as batteries and Pokemon. Elves went back to pleasuring themselves in the robot people's King decided to put all of his former cancer patients on life-support. And made them have a big sleep while he goes off into space and contemplate how he really messed things up and have a big sad. Meanwhile in the realm of souls things got messed up because of the war in the Big Green people with anger issues kept getting more angry and. Dumber but in the realm of souls these things known as chaos started taking over. Meanwhile on earth a bunch of proto humans the beta version of humans were taking shrooms and weed and stuff and saw the stuffing was like. AHHHHHHHHHAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA BAD TRIP MAN BAD TRIP !!!!! They quickly realize that hey we have super powers so they started ritually using their superpowers to commit self delete. And created the perpetual's out of one of these. Perpetual guys the Emperor of mankind he saw that he needed to guide humanity and he did. Humanity was doing pretty awesome and baller everyone was a millionaire everyone. Was rich everyone didn't need to worry about nothing. then the spacells messed up and just did a lot of lot of drugs just did so much drugs they created another chaos. God and it caused warp storms and crap so now Humanity got cut off and everyone got sad and. Now it's time for everything the sucking go back to mad Max. So the emperor saw that Earth sucked so bad he was like I'm going to clap Earth's cheeks. And so we did he clapped the Earth's cheeks hard. Then he created 20 kids for some reason to leave these things called Space Marines that he was working on. But then chaos had to go LMAO XD still all of his kids and then spread them out throughout the. Galaxy so now the emperor has to go out and find these kids and pay child support. So the emperor got into his spaceship and start looking for his kids while clapping the Galaxy cheats one playing at. A time one of these times he found Horus his favorite good boy. And then pretty soon he found all of his other kids but not all of them lived up to his expectations. So he continued to clap the galaxies cheeks until he found something in a bargain bin garage called The Golden throne. He was like oh crap I got to get this back home and not tell my kids what I'm doing in my garage I need tell him to stay out of my shed. And then he named his favourite son warmaster and went to the basement to do. Something and not tell these kids meanwhile Horus was on twitch and then he started donating a lot of gamer subs. And he really fell for cottontail VA and zentreya and went up to his dad while he was in his basement saying Hey Dad. I just gifted a bunch of subs to these women I'm totally going to meet one day and they love me for it and they said my name a lot. So they'd a had to take a break from what he was doing and slap his son and tell him you're stupid these women are never going to touch you. And he took it personally so he started something called his heresy and start killing everybody and. went full mental breakdown because he was going bald and he really wanted to meet these women. And some of his brothers felt the same way now that they were addicted to twitch. Gifted a lot of gamer subs but some of his brothers didn't and we're not into that cringe and did actual work and had jobs. Big huge War a finally came out and told Horus that he was being an idiot saw that he shanked his hawk-boy and that was a step too far. So he massively slapped him in the face and killed him. And now he's dead in all the sons ran away like cowards into the warp with chaos to do butt stuff. Emperor became a paraplegic because Horus was so mad that he dared Sully the name of zentreya cottontail VA. So now he sits on a Golden throne everything sucks everyone worship him as a god even though he told him that he wasn't a God then a few years later down the road Gilman comes back. And Gilman started doing this Gilliman: WTF !!!!!!!!!!!!! Hello darkness my old friend can we rebuild it yes we can So now he's trying to fix stuff

The Lockwarden would have a fucking field day with an old UNSC ship. That’s some dark age of technology shit that would make the mechanicus oil itself

Please no.

watamelon

It is longer than 10 minutes

@@majorkilltwice that in fact, and every moment enjoyable. Thanks for bringing this video to us!

Was yarik killed during the Murder curse disaster?

@@Split-Lip To be fair that would've made it a maybe 21 minute vid and is a pretty important part of the overall lore.

He did. He mentioned the beginnings of their realms were formed during the WIH, and since the Realm is the God and the God is the Realm...