The Fading Narcissist 

For 35 years , I supplied more fuel than OPEC, but I guess my well ran dry, so she capped me and started drilling a mutual friend.

I pray my Narc is unable to find a replacement. I don't want anyone else to go through this!!!

Yes I had a 60 year old man jump over my wall like Superman. I think he was thinking it was romantic but I was calling the police..

So THIS is what happened to the narc ex POS that I fled from abruptly and unexpected to him after 7 years! I thank my lucky stars every single day that I left him before this pandemic started... It hurts to think what inevitably what would have occurred being quarantined with his rage.

I can’t stop laughing at how much of a fool I was unbelievable

Fuel - an absolute amazing book. I highly recommend it. No change will really happen if you don’t understand the concept of “fuel”.

I learned too much. He underestimated my brains. I am the most grateful woman in the world for my escape. Hg Tudor will help you but you have to listen accept and follow the golden rules. You can not make any slips or you will be like the picture of the astronaut on the curb with the pigeon pecking the road. Stop the small avoid the fall. Best teacher ever!

now I understand, anytime I broke up with my narcissist, and after engaged again , the first thing he said was he is in big crises because I dumped him. I didnt understood then, now I do.thank you HG . you are very valuable to so many people here. I already bought 4 of your books. I want to understand totally what was happening in my relationship with a mid range narcissist. I was so confused , lost in words lost with actions trying to made the mid range to see that his behavior is wrong. unsuccessfully.

Good, may they all become 'fading stars' and leave good people alone. lol

My copy is on its way! 😁 This is what my narc is currently going through. I have been preparing to GOSO and have been treading lightly till I can accomplish that and not providing that high quality fuel he has come to expect for about three weeks now. I won't budge though the mid ranger has tried everything; tears, sulking, lashing out, slamming doors, apologizing on his knees 2x (for what exactly, who knows?), flowers, and dinner out with him alone 2x!!! Came up today with the proposal that he's going to move out. I don't expect he will keep his word though and expect its just to get my reaction all the while deny in a few days he ever mentioned it. I'm soooo tired of being his one stop shoppe whilst I get very little back in return. When I need him the most he always let's me down, but come hell or high water I had better be available to him. No more. Thank you HG! You are spot on and the only authority on this subject I will listen to. I'm going to continue to work on my departure despite anything he says. Odd thing... I thought the title of this video was regarding an aging narcissist 🤔. I suppose in this dire circumstance it must seem like one and the same thing in their mind. Thanks again!

I have missed you so so much. You saved my life.

HG great to have you back, you were missed! Particularly as I toy with the wolf at my door 😂

Interesting to note the importance of the primary source in terms of fuel provision and the effect on the narcissist if the primary source is lost.

This is such a fascinating subject. HG is very good at explaining it in a way we can understand it.

My cousin is a Narcissist...I come from a Family full of them and it's taken me years to discover the "PLAYERS". THANK YOU HG FOR GIVING ME A ROAD MAP OF SORTS back to my cousin.... Once I realized he is a Narcissist by his behavior probably LESSER RANGE..and this video explains what I witnessed. A few years back he lost his Government Job, he failed to Ensare an IPS and HE never left his Parents which I believe caused his circle of "friends" to disengage as they matured and he didn't. All these factors started his decline into his Black Hole (due to a lack of fuel). He had a "breakdown" ...gained weight, lost all his secondary sources, removed himself from social media, and even stopped driving...during this time he had episodes of paranoia of being stalked.... His parents have become his Primary Fuel Sources! the time I had no idea what it was....but now it makes perfectly sick sense! Now I understand it was a total loss of fuel....

I get the feeling there is, ironically, many narcissists in the comments section labelling others: 'narcissists'. Funny that.

Do these demons ever tire themselves out? I always wondered that.

Got my first taste of real devaluation and manipulation last week from my friend/boss resulting in one of the most bonkers phone conversations I've had in my life. Going through multiple crises at the same time I guess he was running low. He got his fuel but I realize now what he is and am much better off for it. My life was being drained by his CONSTANT negativity and pity plays.

Their secondary source non sexual is always devalued behind their back. I heard everyone's dirty secrets when he'd come home from spending time w anyone. Especially his BFF golf buddy. Or maybe his buddy was really his lover idk anymore. The narc always needed validation. God that must be exhausting to fill that void. I feel kinda sorry now knowing that theyre always chasing a fix. Damn.

Imagine the victims of HG Tudor I would hate to be that person/appliance 😂👺🦴😱

COVID is making many narcissists in a Fading star!

All of this is so complicated and toxic I’m drained and tired listening to it

These narcs are so pathetic.

Hey, I'm so happy you're back!

HG Your back! I was wondering if something had happened. It had been almost a year since you posted. You were the first to make me aware what i had/have been going through. I am sure you are very much enjoying your welcomes. I have been watching Sam V and he is so much harder to understand.

Hello Mr Tudor, I hope you’re having a fantastic day, Have I interpreted it correctly when I say: “ *A Narcissist is never attached to “a source, no matter if it’s a IPPS, secondary source, third source and so on” the only thing a narcissist is depending on/attached to the fuel a source can provide and the “catch-game* “ Therefore if a narcissist absolutely can’t get access to any source at all the narcissist becomes a shadow of her- himself? Best Regards, Grace

Thanks! I didn't think the poorer class had these 'things'. These predators are on every level of life.

Why can’t you psychopaths just treat the primary source well, they won’t leave and you wouldn’t have go through the roller coaster of what you just described?! 😑

I cannot believe that after all of my life of not being with my extended family, and not growing up with my brother that they raised, and after having a hard crappy life with my narcissistic dad and being homeless with him, I thought I could finally get to have the “privileged life” that I never had in their multimillion dollar home in which I should’ve grown up in alongside my brother, but I never did. I was only with them for 3 months and I couldn’t take it anymore. They were conditional as fuck, and were probably calculating what’s in it for them from very beginning. And they were like “Oh I guess we’re not on the same page” just because I didn’t do school work for a couple days, and would talk to their counselor counselor about me and they made me have a sit down talk about it which guilted the crap out of me. They pressured the crap out of me and would make such a huge deal out of me not living up to their expectations of me. It’s as if they treated me like a total transaction, and they probably tried to slowly, cleverly, transfer my life into their life like an alien that gobbles up people and spits the shell out… no wonder they had a hard time accepting me as “part of the family” just because I was just being me… and they were like “Oh well! I guess he’s not happy with us!” A friend of mine told me “Would you rather be part of a family that loves you unconditionally? Or loves you only when it benefits them?” and that explained everything…

I knew a fading narcissist, who was not able to find a new primary resource replacement and he died at the age of 40 due to unhealthy life-style. Sad story.

This was so exhausting 😩

Hey HG... you should totally do a series on the Murdaugh family... specially Alex who was just convicted of a double murder of his wife and son.

It's true, the OPEC comment will go down in history. We should LAUGH at it! What else is there to do sometimes. :)

This is why my husbands narc ex wife always has to have her enabler family ferrying her constantly around - physically and emotionally.

Nice I escaped roughly 2 months ago from a mid range. She startet the initial grand hoover and we had met 2 times... schame on me! However today I received a message (malign hoover) because I had said to her that I would visit her on her birthday, which I genuinely forgot about. It was yesterday 😂

Thank you for the thorough clear explanation. I am actually glad you’re back, because I must say I couldn’t take anymore of Sam V’s nonstop ramblings & meltdowns.. Maybe I too have grown cantankerous now. Lol Anyhoo, looking forward to your further insights shared here. I read your book Revenge, No contact, several others over Covid lockdown they were most helpful. I have a few personal nagging questions left I may consult you over. Thx for the content ad free. I appreciate that greatly.

Thank you for doing these videos HG, very helpful

I think my recent x is experiencing this fade. The primary experiences the brunt and therefore the worst of his outbursts

My ex narc is not able to obtain a new IPPS. He is in very failing health. Kidney failure, just had double by pass surgery and is on oxygen. His poor son is currently his primary source and social media is the secondary source. He is going to die alone due to all the burned bridges.

H.G. Tudor, amazing video! Thank you.

If they werent so dangerous they'd be pathetic

Hi HG, came across you recently on the interview you did with narc con. Just managed to escape from a narcissist and her narcissistic family and I'm finding your videos very informative and intriguing, hearing the 'real' agenda feelings. Do you have any videos covering with holding sex and intimacy or plan do make any videos on the topic. I was totally love bombed, lots of physical action and then as soon as we moved in, boom, barely nothing till finally a year and a half of nothing. Obviously this was a real head fuck. Really hard to know if this was conscious or sub conscious decision by herself. ? Thanks for the videos

Good morning class please

I know he will always have someone in the background. Most of them are very loyal and submissive. Unfortunately, I've met a couple of them. During the devalue stage, right before he was going to discard.. I felt it coming, I left. I have no doubt his other source was waiting in the wings. I mentioned, one time, about the chics in the background, still wanting him, asking him if he was still with me, and he just grinned and agreed there were others.

Fire sound at the start is Lit 😋🔥

People like this will traffic their own children, their 'source', etc. It's important people understand this. Their behavior shows their complete lack of regard or concern for anyone who is not reinforcing their elaborate fantasy world.

Watch the Appliance blow the Narc's fuse. Real narcissistic mortification of the holy narcissist. She wants her negative supply and she gets it. HG...Do you have karma as well? I guess your forced compliance is your karma. @

Nice effect. Sounds of distance

Could be possible that narcissists primary fuel is his work and environment there, while grooming secondary sources online and putting them through classic narcisstic cycles?

Wow! This explains so much!!

Interesting. I'm watching this in real time. All the secondaries being rounded up to take up the time that I took up in his day/night. When we met, he'd been dormant after the loss of his last primary n only had secondaries. He said he'd "lost [his] mind" when she left n it IS a very small town where he's not well liked. My friends see him n say that he is gaunt n his complexion is gray, like he's really quite ill. And I didn't realize I WAS being Hoovered, but I was.

This whole video leaves me Cold....

What type of doesn't take care of their oral hygiene? And is financially irresponsible? But on the surface seems all put together but has so many loose ends?

The secondary sources love receiving the gifts! After all, they don’t need to wash the narcissists dirty underwear, or cook and clean and take care of children and go to work. Sometimes the secondary sources are even sucking the narc for rent !! The secondary source may be playing the narcissist and have more than one boyfriend as well, therefore playing the same game as the narcissist. I see you’re able to explain all this because you’ve been through it HG. Have you ever been married ?

The only word that comes to my mind is....... precious 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

I was the primary source for 14 years. Only 3 days after discard did I discover this narcissistic dynamic. She did invest I'd say 3/4 of what I did financially over the duration. Would this amount alone justify a hoover or because she knows i figured her out, shall I not expect a hoover! Feel I would pity her at this point of 3 months no contact. I hope.

If a narcissist knows there a narcissist and is honest with themselves and commited to healing and growth is this possible ?

Brilliant!

I knew a narc that was a Philosophy professor and he would throw out verbal dilemmas like "If you had to execute me would you hang or fry me?" To wit, my repartee would be: "hanging is no fun, big build-up but fast denumount; BUT with reddy-kilowatt, I could go on a bender the night before then when it is time to pull the switch I'd have the shakes and you'd be popping around that chair like a bag of Orville Redenbacker!!! That usually took the smug grin off of his nasty fucking face!!! I know a woman who is 455 lbs., I kept threatening to have her over for supper and when he inevitably passed out get her to sit on his face. A coroner has great difficulty telling that kind of asphyxia from respiratory failure. Just pray to God they don't find any pubic hair in his airway!!! 🤣😂😅🤭😡👻

I actually think i hurt My narc wife when leaving her after i found out about cheating. I did not know about second and third resorces. After nine years and three kids,house doggs and kaos, drama ,good sex i found out about two other men. I turned in devorce papers.. today i know her two lovers dumped her after My disgard and that she only have lo life people around her,she is always screaming,accusing and calling me names,i guess she is lo on fuel today 😀👌

Is this last state similar to mortification for the narcissist?

...thank you go deeper #ultraprimary

What happens when "they become that fading star"?

How do I know if I am the IPPS since narcissists are notorious for their infidelity? Curious yellow.

Hello, I’ve heard about you. I like how you say asshole ... thank you.

Wow this is interesting 🧐 i have a question HG, what happens to a heterosexual male narcissist that goes to jail for maybe 5 years or more? Will they have a primary source in jail?

@HG what ultimately becomes of the fading star in the final scenario you describe?

Can the upper mid range or ultra ever experience trouble getting primary sources, or is it easier for them since they’re usually financially stable by the time they start devaluing the primary source and lose them?

It's the fuel matrix for me 😂😂😂😂🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

My ex girlfriend was very thin when I met her. After a few months, she gained some weight but I lost in weight instead and energy. Hm...

That's what make them..but we are not..only we are not taught

I don't know if you read the comments on these videos but when I first read the title of this I thought you meant the aging narcissist and how the narcissism evolves as the narcissist gets older. since you have not lived to be older yet you may not be able to speak to this but if you have any knowledge on it I would like to see a video on it because I would like your opinion and to compare it to those who have already made videos about the subject period some say they mellow some say they get worse.

It exhausts me just thinking about the massive effort the narcissist puts into satisfying their fuel addiction. The more effort they put into gathering fuel and managing fuel sources, the more they exhaust themselves, therefore they need more and more fuel, etc. I never had this problem because I'm the zero cognitive empathy and minimal emotional empathy type, so I've never bothered managing fuel sources because I didn't realize that everyone (except me) knew what a spergy idiot I am.

Does Fading star mean depression?

Fascinating

That fits she went home to be with family for a month or so and nothing..5 weeks..Hoover she was 1500 miles and drug me thre cause her fuel ran and it ran out where we were so fast went to family

HG Houston Gangsta 💪💯 😆 H-Town Gee

Let me double down on my last statement by attempting to expand my thinking. If we as a human race have a need to be excepted, in control, possess free will and strive for self advancement to feel worth, then we all have become master manipulators feeding off others for our own edification. Even though there are seemingly selfless and long suffering individuals, they too feed off their public image, pats on the backs and admiration for their seemingly selfless ways. It seems the extremes are just as destructive and enabling as each other, resulting in negativity. So understanding our human condition of self-centered ness and the conflict it provides, it's reasonable to conclude conflict is the catilist to human refining. The question of who is wrong quickly becomes apparent, we all are. We all are corrupt from human conception, being tested, refined and separated seems to be life's process of purification and right standing with our creature. A gehad, a battle, a refining, a choice only we can make in our own spirit. This determines our spiritual, mental and physical wellbeing and identity. Either self seeking that is inherently negative and will separate or the humility brought about by knowing humans are not the centre of the universe. Therefore being spiritually and morally refined in rightstanding and positive energy. If we take away the fuel from the fire the fire will die and good for nothing. I see it as simply as the reaction of a mother's body conflicts while pregnant and the eventual speration of the plecentre and afterbirth from the new life born. Without both conflict and refinement there can be no growth, but once matured the negitive is disguarded and new life is born. Simply, we are our own worst enemy not others. We have the opportunity to resist or comply. We all have a choice. Victim or agresser, they all want self to be fore filled. Humility and faith leaves our needs positively met without want or exception. I hope you can see my thinking.

H.G Could you tell me please, can a mid-range narcissist re-idealize a IPSS or Dirty Secret once again? Also, can the Golden period ever come back again for these two types?? Thank you H.G.

What if they tell you to never contact them again. Not that I want him to. Just curious if they try to sneak back after a brutal breakup.

HG. You did a video of Joe Biden and Donald Trump. Could you please tell me who fits into what place in his fuel matrix. It would be nice if you also revisit this topic and explain the stages of D. Trump's Narcissistic rage, stages and reactions. Thank you.

Exactly ❤

Scorpio male ♏️😈 the death of da narcissist, time forgives no one and guess what ,your power too attract falls off your best is behind, your put on the book shelf! Or become a side chick an after thought a sex toy when someone has desires too unload, 🤔 your past choices will reflect in the near future! But what could a narcissist care ,they don't feel they are heartless cold,no emotions, so being alone ,won't be a problem 😈☠️💀

HG, why did he block me after our argument ? Then he told me it's for my own good. Can the mid-range actually "care" enough to save me from himself ?

Thank you!!

Yeah baby 😂😂😂🎉🎉

Nice

Here’s a question only the Ultra HG Tudor could answer.. If one asks their newly Significant albeit unknown narcissistic other what trait their partner values most in them and they ponder 🤔 to answer with EMPATHY would you surmise them to be lesser, midrange or Greater? Most would say your eyes, lol Much Appreciated ~

it sounds a lot like emotional “vampirism” is your kind that empty inside?

You have discribed the way that most, if not all people operate. Everyone needs some sort of validation to exist. Entertainers feed from adoration and exposure while the salesmen manipulation. Everyone wants to be a winner, but alas to be first someone has to be last, therefore providing the foundation of nasisisum.

Is everybody with whom the narcissist interacts a source?

😂 these cars need fuel but they human get them some gas smoke yours

Sounds like a Ringwraith.

Bit complicated but ok

Is this very comment fuel for you?

KEEP EXPOSING R //

I want to party with you HG