The Fastest Way to Become Miserable 

Pro Tip: People who are genuinely happy don't feel the need to spend a lot of time and energy defending the fact that they are happy.

"Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire." - Gustav Mahler

"nonmonogamous couples reported greater levels of commitment" when your definition of commitment is so wishy-washy that it means nothing, then yeah it's really easy to meet.

Im gonna be honest here, when i got married i was convinced i was polyamorous. My husband agreed and we did give it a go. Surprise Surprise, the situation blew up in our faces. I think my drive to be polyamorous is directly connected to the sexual and emotinal abuse during my childhood. I had no clue how to respect marriage, sex or my husband. Choosing polyamory was THE WORST decision i ever made. I hurt my husband and damaged my marriage.

Open relationships were pretty popular when I was in college and being surrounded by that kind of environment was a bit uncomfortable for me. One of my old friends got in an open relationship and people got mad at me for not agreeing with that relationship, my ex wanted an open relationship and I remember my voice cracking and heart breaking in response (I said no and we broke up like the week after), and my former roommate and her boyfriend were in an open relationship. That last one was especially uncomfortable because the boyfriend would constantly hit on me and even asked me out once his girlfriend and I stopped being roommates. I said no. And when it came to my old friend, ex-roommate, and her boyfriend, they would all get SUPER defensive whenever someone didn’t agree with their relationships. They would get defensive, try to convince themselves that they were happy, and sometimes verbally attack the person who disagrees. It was unfortunate to witness.

I've known one poly group and those 5 people were the most depressed, miserable, and selfish people I'd ever met. The amount of back stabing, manipulating, and thinly masked resentment was mind blowing. Yet if anyone ever asked you'd think they'd found a new form of enlightenment.

I would never share my partner. Poly is so weird to me.

You know those thousand lb pumpkins that win the ribbon at the fair? They get the prize because the farmer cuts all the other pumpkins off the vine and devotes all of his time into tending that pumpkin. That’s how your marriage should be. 🎃

People want something between monogamy and and complete non-monogamy. Translation: people want to go out and sleep around but have their partner remain faithful.

Polygamy isnt just "weird" it feels fundamentally wrong to me, how miserable do you have to be to accept "sharing" something as sacred as love, that just feels like digging your own romantical grave.

My ex wanted to bring a third into our bed. I told her absolutely not. Strange that she brought this up after befriending people from two different poly relationships.

Seeing too many these days people who want someone for s*x and someone for financial security. Poly relationships just cut the cheating factor while winding up in the same state of misery.

My cousin and his wife decided they wanted a poly lifestyle... They are now divorced and He has sole custody of the kids and she is with one of the guys they had in their poly relationship... It's a mess!

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." - Matthew 19:6

I was talking to my friends little sister, (shes 12) we were just talking about her school and stuff and then she proceeds to tell me about her GIRLFRIEND, i was like "Oh! You have a girlfriend?" She just stared at me like i was an idiot and said, "No, i have three." So i go on and say, "THREE?!" cause thats really weird, and then she goes "Yeah, I'm poly." And rolls her eyes and walks away from me. What happened to kids? 😢

Love is love and lust is lust.

My mom's best friend is a swinger and she is hands down one of the most unhappy people I have ever met. She is always super depressed and overwhelmed and unsatisfied in all her relationships. I wonder why...🤷‍♀️

That’s a no from me.

Tradition is one of the main ways in which wisdom is passed to the younger generation.

As someone whose husband wanted this, whose husband thought and convinced me it would spice things up, boy were we wrong. I was pressured into it and regretted it immediately, but we kept it up for 5 months. It almost destroyed our marriage but thank God I brought him back to the light. We kicked those scumbags to the curb and we’ve never been closer or happier. No matter how “boring” things get, it’s vastly better than the alternative.

i don’t see how it’s possible for someone to show equal amounts of romantic love to multiple people at the same time, that honestly sound so stressful

So basically people want to cheat without being labeled a cheater. Their partner cheats. And they cheat. And then they’re miserable and hurt and feel lost, insecure, and without boundaries. Color me shocked.

I did the polyamory thing briefly. IT WAS MISERABLE. Grateful my now husband stuck with me and we both saw the light and escaped all that mess together. Happily married for 6 years, and have zero desire to EVER go down that path again. #makemonogamygreatagain

Let us pray for these lost souls. They are not the enemy. The devil who has deceived them is.

I was taking a medical course and they were talking about risk for serious STDs and why we test for these annually in most adults. something they said really stuck with me. Most people in the US are not really monogamous. Most people have serial “monogamous” sexual relationships (ie you have your one true love then break up, then you find your new one true love, then break up, etc), which is a form of polygamy. The only true monogamous relationship (and thus has low to no risk of STDs and would not require as frequent std tests) is a person who only has one sexual partner for their whole life. This was used to show why annual STD tests for Americans is part of a wellness visit, because when people say they are monogamous, most mean this “serial monogamy”, not true monogamy. Edit: the medical course I took was aimed at a community with high std rates. I’m not a do or md, so I just took it as a fact when they said “Americans should be tested for stds with each wellness visit”. Several comments below have pointed out that it’s recommended after each partner change in other places in America, which makes more sense to me honestly. Either way, I think the point made about serial monogamy still stands and it really has changed my view of romantic relationships. Thank you to everyone who pointed out the discrepancy, I learned something new 😊

I would wager that the term “non-monogamy” is used specifically to avoid calling it “polygamy” so it doesn’t conjure that same guttural feeling, even though they’re synonymous. “Ethical non-monogamy” is polygamy dressed in a trench coat so it can feel different from the religious people it hates while doing exactly what they’re doing.

Having one partner is hard enough, but no, some people need to make it more complicated.

"people in non-monogamous relationships that didn't already fail report high satisfaction"

There’s always a group within a group💀

A woman I know at work is married to another woman, and I recently overheard her talking with some coworkers about how a different woman outside of her relationship is taking her out on a date, and how excited she was. She said her wife knows about it. I was honestly so saddened 💔

They put the blame on whoever doesn’t feel comfortable for not being secure enough to handle it. If you feel insecure in an open relationship, it’s because the relationship is not secure.

" we're living in a weird age" sadly, I'll never understand the odd mindset of people doing that poly / open relationships

I think people are just getting desperate for a relationship and are willing to settle for whatever they can get

In terms of the first point about homeschoolers, I have been a History professor for 27 years and my best students were homeschooled. A couple weeks ago I made a video explaining why they are better college students.

I’ve done it. A number of different ways. Don’t do it. It never works out, and it cracks everyone involved.

I did the polyamory thing for a few years almost a decade ago and I've been seeing more and more of it the last few years. It's just cope, I had to grow out of it, it's not a sustainable thing if you value yourself.

What in the upside down pineapple.

Another example of when the "experts" were hired to decimate traditional and genuine human norms. Horrible Keep preaching the truth, Brett!!! ❤

Dudes be cool with swinging or poly until somebody gives it to your girl better than you. Then that relationship is cooked. John "I'm a minority victim" Leguziamo showed this in the movie, Son of Sam.

I used to do poly relationships. They were the most abusive, stressful 'relationships' I've ever been in. Now in a monogamous relationship with someone who wasn't involved in that scenario at the time, I feel much happier and more decisive on the future. These facts are really relatable to my past situation. I was confused on who to be with, so instead of ending things, came up with that compromise and it made both guys toxic and jealous of one another. Additionally, one would usually be abusive and the other would try to soothe me, or both would be abusive. Becoming monogamous again was one of the best decisions of my life because now I know the boundaries for healthy relationships. I know I dont need someone I'm romantically involved with to be my therapist, theres more trust, theres no stress when you have a pregnancy scare because its either you're sleeping with the guy you're with, or no one at all and you're just late. God bless

There is nothing in the middle. You are either with 1 person or you are with more than 1 person.

Just say you cant commit and want to cheat

I worked with a guy who was home-schooled. He pointed out home-schoolers have a higher rate of college acceptance.

Every depraved thing that hits the mainstream today began brewing in the dark on tumblr and in fanfiction 10-15 years ago.

My brother is in a poly relationship and he shamed me because i thought it was wrong

It's sad I remember telling people that I want to grow up and be a wife and a stay at home mother, and they would tell me to set my goals a little higher in life, now I'm a wife and a mother and for me that's the highest goal I could ever achieve I love it!! We need to be more encouraging to young women who want to be mothers instead of tearing them down.

To quote someone "tradition is just an experiment that worked"

Remember when traditional thinkers brought up the issue of polygamy in regards to gay marriage and were shouted down? Pepperidge Farms remembers...

I'm a woman. I have my thoughts. This type of relationship reminds me of Warren Jeffs, who has 87+ wives. I'm not kidding.

Not with Latinos. We don’t play that.

“It is time, my friends, to be traditionally untraditional.” Exactly how I feel

By the way, I was soo happy with my husband being by my side always during the process of me being pregnant. I will never ever forget his support and his patience.

Insanity.

Being poly is worse than being an incel

I'm not proud of this, this occurred at a very sad time in my life. But I "dated" a woman who was polyamorous once. I never met anyone else she was dating, and we would hang out about twice a week. I hope this lifestyle does not become a trend, because a monogamous relationship is so much better. But I like to remember weird ideologues are human too, and I like to be honest about my own mistakes and tribulations. This woman was kind and fun and had a very positive effect on my life at a time when I desperately needed it. But I guess I was the side piece; the real victim of the polyamory was the "main" boyfriend, if there even was one.

How about letting people just live their lives?

They all usually have a "look." I feel like most people will know what I mean.

My family is Nigerian, and many of my older relatives had poly relationships. All I've ever heard were the calamities and conflicts that resulted. These people are jumping off cliffs to disprove gravity.

As soon as one partner ask for a open relationship, there either cheating or have picked someone or several someone's to have sex with when you say yes. End your relationship immediately because its over.

All sins are essentially the same at the core; they are thrilling and exciting in the moment to be a part of, but leave you empty and broken in the long run. And no matter how much you seek that rush again, and no matter how much you feed into that sin, it will never give you satisfaction. You'll want more, and more, and more, but it will never be enough. Poly relationships are this to a T; seeking more and more romantic partners, sexual encounters, and more romantic options, but never having that long-term satisfaction that comes from a good and healthy monomagous relationship.

Feels like it's the next step in the extinction plan. First the push to reduce the dating pool to only the very top few. Second, convince those few can participate into 'absorbing' more partners from the pool.

The pool of people in polyland is fairly awful

0:54 welcome to the government, where we waste money to complete a job poorly

Love how no one has even finished this video yet 😂

I have YET to find a polyamory/non-monogamous relationship that actually works. They have nearly all ended in some kind of abuse and/or violence. But it's never the polyamory/non-monogamous lifestyle that's the issue. They blame everything else because they want to prove that their parents weren't correct. 😒

As soon as I heard the word "healthy" I knew I was about to get some Ruff Greens. I'm on to you, Brett.

If I had a significant other who said they wanted to be in a poly relationship, I would say "Whatever it is, I don't want to know". Then I'd pack my bags and leave.

If my husband ever suggested polyamory, I'd be all for it. He can be polyamorous with these divorce papers and the child support payments he owes me. Because I sure as hell won't be letting my kids be around that disgusting "lifestyle".

15% of the woeld is monogamous.... gues what nations have prospered the most? The 15% that had monogamy as a foundation for generations.

Why the eldery seem happier in "poly relationship" is because some of them lost his/her partner and r just happy 2 be with someone.

My parents, who are in their 50s, began swinging after a short separation - key point there - and they have now “settled down” as a throuple and moved out of state. My siblings and I are just entirely thrown and are watching as our parents are turning their grandchildren into social accessories. They are trying to push this superficial “happiness” so hard and it’s entirely tearing up our family. Would not recommend.

Thank you for speaking out about this. I've had two longer-term relationships that I had to end because the woman I was dating decided she wanted to see other men/women without breaking up with me first. They and their friends blamed me for being close-minded and not respectful of their lifestyles. Afterwards I would eventually learn how miserable these women became. Just a caustic and unhealthy way to live.

This is not healthy to me

Thank you for everything brett, you say things that I could never in this generation

been stalking your page recently! thank you for another amazing upload❤

My previous relationship started breaking down because I was a doormat and let my boyfriend convince me to have a "friend with benefits" with a girl he knew at work. I was supposedly in control of every interaction (he would convince me otherwise like he did when I freaked out about him asking). There were two times where we "hung out" and I felt miserable after every time since my brain would basically switch off. I started becoming quiet and didn't want any interaction with him. We got in a huge fight where I freaked out again, left, and had a few weeks of him fighting me and I'm becoming more firm about what I want and my opinions. This episode hurts to watch but growing always comes with pain, so thank you Brett. You're amazing.

I could never share a person

As a progressive, I am not at all interested in polyamory.

They wanna be the “cool person who does poly😮😮😮😮” 😂😂😂

"This is getting more and more common" Are you sure? Because "closeted polyamorous" (i.e., having an affair) has allegedly been pretty common in previous generations.

Harem, poly, open relationships are what I and many others should view as a waste of time, emotionally taxing, and wrong.

You know one size doesn't fit all. I don't understand why people keep trying to prove that. Neither one is perfect. If you have a healthy relationship while doing poly let it be.

Social "science" spends millions of dollars and productive human hours to, at best, confirm what traditions have told us for eons.

I have watched so many of your videos and I have never disagreed with you. You research the topics so well and you actually know what you are talking about, thank you for bringing awareness to difficult topics❤

All of this happened because these people are just so lost and confused, don't know what they want. Exactly the kind of people I stay away from.

A young married woman suffered trauma and instead of dealing with the issues she decided that having an open marriage would fix it. Her stable, loving, devoted husband agreed because she threatened to leave and take his children. This woman treated him very badly and put him down all the time. Now, she is divorced and he has another woman who treats him well. Ex wife is even more miserable now. Go figure.

Most poly people I’ve met, they usually choose that because they can’t keep their relationship stable and they think it’s an instant solution

I love what freedom toons says about polyamory. 5 Guys get to share one fat woman. Which is most of the time what I’ve seen one woman who is unattractive getting unattractive men in there harem

I don't understand how someone can be in poly relationship. I would just die of jealosy

Thank you, Brett. You’re a breath of fresh air for women around the world. There are so many layers to your topics and the fact they’re being broadcasted is redeeming and powerful. Sexual acts are sacred and sexual abuse can come in many forms. It hurts and it is a horrible cycle. Thank you for opening more eyes to the realities out there. Lexi

in general, I have my own opinions but at the end of the day people can do what they want. However, as I get older… more and more I adhere to the phrase: BRING BACK SHAME !!!!! … or at least the privacy of our lives/thoughts/feelings !

If someone that you’re in a relationship with ask to open up and be in a poly relationship then they are cheating, planning to cheat.

I’ve seen polyamorous people and they all look ragged. Some of my clients are polygamous and wow the stories I hear …. I’m so glad I’m happily married.

what ever happend to what people do in private stays private. no one else needs to know that part of someones life unless there perverts.

I never had the best example of love, so I think I acted in ways that were not acceptable in my younger relationships. Now that I’ve grown some, and found my person, I could not imagine not being committed. True love is selflessness. It is sacrifice and it is worth it.

There's a reason God set boundaries for human marriage in the Bible.

It’s just occurred to me after watching countless Comments Sections..why is Brett wearing headphones 🎧

The scariest thing by far is when monogamous couples try to “open up” their relationship. It is a death sentence for the relationship.

Like they all say: Misery loves company

Polyamory and marriage nope