Join Members for $5 a month for exclusive content - Members Only podcast, Stream VODS, Unreleased videos & more! INSTA: / tombutdark BIRD: / anonbirdd BASE: turkeytom.net/
"What does she mean, 'having kids as an accessory'" My cousins have 5 kids each, from multiple dads, and did/do very little in the actual raising of them--my uncle and aunt ended up doing a majority of the child rearing (esp when they were very young babies). But man, do my cousins *love* to post pictures on Facebook of their babies and act like they are the Best Moms in the World. That's what she meant. It isn't as uncommon as you think, either.
@@swanvonmane8533it is truly expensive but it’s not a lump sum you pay at once. There are so many things in place to help poor mothers. It is truly expensive. Hundreds of dollars a month in diapers, a little can of formula costs 30$ and doesn’t last long. Not everyone can breastfeed due to medical reasons. Shit is expensive. Over a million dollars before they reach 18 for sure. It really is that expensive and it’s not hard to do research and figure that out for yourself.
27:06 "Birth rates has fallen by 20% since 2007. This decline cannot be explained." Bruh I can explain it, I'm an adult and I'm desperately trying to move out of my parents' house, but house prices are through the roof. I'm not going to have a kid when I still live with my parents, and I'm not looking for a partner because I'm too busy working. I don't understand how some people are shocked that birthrates are going down when people are struggling to exist without financial stress.
If you dont have a degree try and get into a trade bro its one of your only ways to get a good paying jpb and theyll pay for your schooling. at most unions the starting pay is 20 to 25 and goes up to 35 to 40 for journeymen
If you work your ass off to support a child how are you suppose to be around to support it? These guys are spitting the most seesaw opinions on this one
Fathers are underrated af. My dad isn't perfect by any means but he taught me how to be a responsible adult. He's definitely a 'tough love' type of person which I think is important. Mom's are much more likely to coddle/ spoil their kids. My mom rarely ever punished me, it was pretty much always my dad. He was always explain why what I was doing wasn't okay. The most important lesson I could learn from him was to take accountability. Too many people my age blame their problems on society or on everybody else. He tends to act tougher than most dads but gets genuinely worried when his daughters/wife get sick or hurt. He does what he can to protect.
Accountability seems to be something that's very difficult to teach to grown adults, I'd agree that tough love teaches you a lot. My step dad is a difficult man to deal with, but he taught me how to be a man I can be proud of through his showing of tough love, and always being a gentleman towards my mother.
@@mariahtoomey6084 Of course I never said all mothers and fathers are the same. I did say most mothers because I've seen it irl since my sister works in Kinder care and my uncle works as a principal. Too many mothers constantly excuse bad behavior from their kids, but not all. Mine certainly didn't, she was just softer than my dad. I just noticed a pattern. Some patterns need to be addressed.
Agreed :D I'm decently far left economically (though, to be fair, more centrist socially), and I watch Tom specifically because I don't always agree with him-but even still, I enjoy hearing other perspectives. It's not as much of an echo chamber as a lot of communities online tend to be.
@@tinkercat8268 I don't have kids but I got plenty of friends and family with them by the dozen. So even I know when someone is a tad clueless about realities like that lol
Listening to this reminded me how young these guys actually are.... Lots of perspective, real life experience, and subject matter knowledge missing from the conversation.
yeah like having a child you can’t support just bc you would “feel guilty”, saying you’d just work super hard to make more money (not thinking of how they’ll manage to also spend time with said kids), and lastly, saying babies aren’t that expensive? i think they’re really naive to what parenthood actually entails. hopefully both of them wait awhile to have kids bc they seem like good guys, just severely underestimating how much goes into raising a child.
Are you new here? You sound like someone who has no child, or, the Father left. All men are this immature until they hold their first child. Some still do not change, but that event is the single most transformative change to the brain, post puberty. @@camdecay
@@camdecayThey have every right to say they would be guilty about killing a kid. And it's absolutely insane. You wouldn't even phrase it as if that's a lack of experience and not them. Just having impethie for a life
@@114bleachfan they can feel guilty all they want but that shouldn’t force them into having a child they aren’t ready for. that’s what breeds resentment and neglect.
@@114bleachfan If you are going to be a parent you need to be there for your child 100%. You cannot just "work more" and that work out. They have a right to feel like they would be guilty in that situation but the commenter's pretty right. It just breeds a fuck ton of issues for that child, especially once they grow into adulthood.
The reason why guys want kids and girls don't is that guys just don't see how hard of a job it is to take care of a kid and girls see that all the time. Even if dad is present he is mostly a cool parent to teach you stuff and show you things and not the one to actually take care of you, making you food, driving to school, picking up from school, making dinner, doing laundry, doing the dishes, staying home when the kid is sick etc. You can divide responsibilities the way you want, but in most families dad's life don't really change this much after having a kid, while mom has to rearrange everything and is pretty much permanently attached to home for at least first few years. Why would a girl with no maternal instinct want that? It's an illogical choice. The girls who wanted that in primary school just wanted it for the same reasons boys did - they wanted to be that cool parent and braid their daughter's hair and not change diapers or clean vomit from a carpet, which is what being a parent really is. I'm not saying people shouldn't have kids, it's just that it's completely sensible for a young woman to want to avoid that.
That horrible A. Tate character could never have been successful with his Incel-aimed content if those Incels would have had a valid father figure. 'Nuff said.
Andrew Tate is not the kind of role model young men need, but having good fathers and stability in the home is just the solution to one of societies ills and does not address the other issues that lead young men to reject healthier outlooks. Rejecting Andrew Tate doesn't fix the economy that makes young men feel disposable, it doesn't fix the narcissism created in young women by dating apps and social media, and it doesn't solve the antipathy towards young straight men being pushed by the left. I agree that having good fathers would gradually help to mitigate the latter two issues but you can't just simply remove an issue and create a vacuum under the assumption that some new grifter won't rise to fill it. Andrew Tate may not be a good man, but his influence is counter culture in a society that ignores the complexities of its own problems and tries to say "if group x wasn't group x then society would suddenly work".
@@brandonkennedy4160 How ever fatherless some women or men might behave it’s literally the decisions they make that shape their lives. Like imagine raising someone and then they turn out shitty…you tried your best, you can’t really feel bad if you did everything you could have. Like you said it’s not easy to navigate. You’re dealing with one of the most complex forms of life on this planet lol, it is not a walk in the park…obviously you shouldn’t stress either but yeah lol
I think a lot of the alcoholism of the fathers of boomers could be attributed to PTSD from WWII service. My father's father was an alcoholic and absent from his life, just left his mother to raise four kids alone. My mother's grandfather suffered from PSTD from WWI and needed to be looked after by the family.
not even just that but men for generations have been told to be tough & cold & unemotional so, naturally, they never learned how to properly deal with their emotions & cope with that in unhealthy ways esp with the effects of war. i think a lot of people still think that ppl saying men need emotional support means we want them to be like the overly emotional woman stereotype & its unfortunate bc that’s not the case. it’s important for men to be able to learn how to be emotional available for their partner & their children to form those important bonds & to learn how to deal with their emotions for their own mental health. i’m a woman who grew up with a very distant dad who was always working & it definitely negatively affected me. part of it came from my mom being absolutely nuts & a lot of it was due to his own childhood trauma of having an abusive father who would beat his very submissive mother in front of them & beat them as well. that’s probably why i feel so strongly about the topic of supporting men’s mental health & teaching men that it’s okay to have emotions & that it’s okay to need support. i have a relationship with my dad now & i love him dearly but i still can see issues within myself that i’m working through from not having him around & a lot of other kids feel this way. men who are cold & distant do have some responsibility in this issue but i’m also very aware & sympathetic to the societal factors that made them that way
Lol the guest wasn't exactly Einstein but honestly had to stop when he said that bc I couldn't take anything else he said seriously. "Yeah man just like hold it, give it food and make sure it doesn't die... easy."
I have two kids,if you’re not a bitch they are not that hard to take care of or expensive if you work a proper job.hell I work as a maintenance worker at a nursing home and make enough to take care of my kids
FYI, alcohol as well as benzos like xanax affect the GABA receptors in the brain leading to the relaxing effect. Those substances affecting these receptors belong to the few where withdrawals can actually directly kill you. Alcohol's also consistently ranked as the MOST harmful substance you can be addicted to.
@@lorddreagus7253he's talking about withdrawals. Fent withdrawal deaths are rare and amphetamine withdrawals are pretty easily managed and almost never result in death. Alcohol and benzo withdrawal deaths are very common.
@@lorddreagus7253 Look at any article or study when googling 'most harmful substances'. I didn't do hours of research into alcohol specifically, but considering it basically destroys your whole body that conclusion isn't farfetched. It's also extremely accessible like Tom said, which makes for a pretty dark combo.
"what clout go you get from having a child" have you two forgotten family channels and those woman who constantly do professional photoshoots with their babies on Instagram?
I quit alcohol cold turkey and almost died from it. The withdrawal symptoms were awful but the cycle of alcoholism was worse so I’m better sober and for having lived through it. Been sober since-I’m never putting myself through that ever again.
@@TheDeDuos I fell in for a few years at about 1.75L a day. I was in a bad way. But I’ve been sober for more than 5 years and i haven’t looked back except to see how far I’ve come. And thank man
Hearing you and a cheeto talk about how having a baby isn't that expensive at first is fucking so wrong you guys have no idea. First off, you get a massive medical bill from the hospital just for having the damn thing, you need to buy car seats, a crib, strollers, playpens, baby proof your entire house, diapers are fucking expensive as shit and so is formula most moms don't produce enough to only breastfeed, then you have to buy the pump, bottles, baby monitors and cameras, little donut things and matts to lay the baby on, baby clothes diaper bags ect ect ect ON TOP of having to miss work and stay home. Maternity leave is not paid most of the time. So having a kid alone costs like 50k up front. And 100k a year after that with added up babysitters and missed wages from not working. You guys are so so wrong on that aspect. Once you're both dad's you'll understand. I'm one of the many millenials who decided not to have kids. I'm 30 and single. I'm okay with being alone now but worry about in the future. Having a family really helps you not feel alone and you have someone to fall back on if you need help financially.
Having an infant is grueling what are you two even talking about. Every three hours it wakes up and screams for no reason, and you dont get a real nights sleep for like two entire years.
@@chopper3875 no, it is objectively an exaggeration. The majority of babies don't wake up every 3 hours screaming for no reason. He's literally spreading a lie. Most babies wake up once or twice a night and they only need to be held for a minute or fed. "You don't get a real night's sleep for like 2 years" is an inaccurate statement for the majority of new parents.
30:09 I don’t agree with the overall point but she’s speaking some facts here. People who can’t even financially take care of themselves shouldn’t be having kids and if you have some severe mental issues you shouldn’t either. There might be a need for more children but there’s not many worthy parents out here🤷
@@twiztidsidfreak13we can’t stop people from having sex bc it’s a normal part of life and maturing as an adult. we can increase the amount of contraceptions that people are aware of, many men my age don’t even use condoms bc oh they’re on the the pill when that won’t rlly stop anything. honestly they’re rlly should be more research into male contraceptions, telling young teens and adults that not having sex is the only way to escape teen pregnancy kinda makes sex seem scary or it can make having a child seem like a bad idea when that’s not what anyone wants
Yeah, idk what planet Tom and the other guy are living on. Very few people actually sit down and really think about what having children means and just want them for the sake of having them.
A person can care about their kids all they want, that doesn’t make them a good, stable, or healthy parent innately lol I love my son to the ends of the Universe and back but I was a TERRIBLE mom at 19 years old, he deserved better than me at the start. Care and love are important, but we absolutely need BETTER parents in this world who will consciously raise stable, healthy, and whole human beings.
@@AspienWaifu "I was a TERRIBLE mom at 19 years old, he deserved better than me at the start. " WOW. That is unironically brave of someone, particular a mother, to admit. If only more parents were honest like this and realize most of them aren't qualified to raise their kids and that their children do in fact deserve better. Many parents hide their shortcomings and incompetence behind the title and rank of "parent", and it only hurts their kids in the long because of a refusal to course correct when needed.
The problem with this approach is that it's too simplistic and addresses 0 of the real world problems that prevent men or women from being better parents
@@ohyeah4003 the approach is meant to be simple because it doesn't take just a father to raise a kid or a mother they can do it properly off of just one parent it's worked before no survey is without anomalies
@theshortstack02 Idk how old you are but you sound incredibly naive if you think that this is a valid approach to fixing the real world problems. There have to be well-defined incentives and certain groups have to be focused on more than others. If you do some research, you will see that fixing something as serious as the birth rate of a nation is no simple matter. In your day to day life, yes go ahead and think of it simply like that if you want, but we are talking about changes on a mass scale.
I don’t get why the other dude wants people that don’t want to have kids to have kids, after having a discussion on fatherless nonetheless, and expects them to be good parents? Maybe the people that don’t want to be parents shouldn’t be or does logical thinking stop at a certain point?
The carbon footprint of dog food alone is bad enough also dogs and cats as we know them today were not around first and wouldnt exist if not for humans. Pets are a waste of human time and resources, pets will never contribute to society.
A baby isn't expensive? Have you guys ever looked at the price of diapers alone? I like this channel but you two are like the last two who should be commenting on this stuff.
6:56 Acheeto is dumb asf lmao “comorbidity” this is not what that is. Shout out to Tom for knowing what he’s talking about when it comes to addiction/alcoholism. Alcohol withdrawal is dangerous.
I live in Canada and it astonished me when I found out my friend in the states only got 3 months matt leave from her work. Iam currently on mattleave, you can choose 6months-18 months to be on mattleave and they offer parental leave for fathers as well. It's essential imo, especially for the moms to heal. I couldnt imagine trusting anyone to watch my newborn
30:25 I think she is speaking on how people have kids without much thought or solely for “hitting the milestone” without actually preparing for children. Children take a shit ton of resources and are a lifetime commitment. I personally believe you should only try for a kid once you are as stable as possible in pretty much all aspect of life. Things that happen during childhood will stay w that child for their entire life. Look at Unwanted Child Theory, The Body Keeps the Score, any research on spanking and parenting styles, any research regarding children rlly
Bro i think this shit is far more different then being fatherless, for example in the ww2 years there was almost no one with father but im pretty sure none of our grate-grandparents acted in that way, i think its more like social media effect then fatherlessness
Absolutely, social media has become an addiction which encourages terrible behaviours, folk have gotten too comfortable online and have zero filter telling everyone every detail of their lives, promiscuous behaviour is celebrated, social media is just an absolute mess but folk have become very dependent and addicted too it.
I may sound like an old person but social media and phones are harmful for us. I only use Snap to text and RU-vid or just pirate tv shows online since I’m not paying for streaming services lol I truly believe that’s what’s wrecking gen z’s brains and turning them into a behavioural nightmare. Why do you think cocomelons so popular? It’s like crack for babies, it’s so overstimulating it assaults their brain that’s why it’s easy to sit them infront of a tv or iPad as a replacement babysitter. The companies who own it are making a fortune off of ruining childrens attention span and stunting cognitive abilities. Tik tok, twitter, instagram, Facebook is the bane of societies existent. Of course it can be used for good but corporation and big buisnesses do not have our best interest in mind. They will tear us apart and ruin our children to get all the money in the world.
I have to keep posting this comment because RU-vid hides it for some reason lmao. 4th time trying to post. I may sound like an old person but social media and phones are harmful for us. I only use Snap to text and RU-vid or just pirate tv shows online since I’m not paying for streaming services lol I truly believe that’s what’s wrecking gen z’s brains and turning them into a behavioural nightmare. Why do you think cocomelons so popular? It’s like crack for babies, it’s so overstimulating it assaults their brain that’s why it’s easy to sit them infront of a tv or iPad as a replacement babysitter. The companies who own it are making a fortune off of ruining childrens attention span and stunting cognitive abilities. Tik tok, twitter, instagram, Facebook is the bane of societies existent. Of course it can be used for good but corporation and big buisnesses do not have our best interest in mind. They will tear us apart and ruin our children to get all the money in the world.
I may sound like an old person but social media and phones are harmful for us. I only use Snap to text and RU-vid or just pirate tv shows online since I’m not paying for streaming services lol I truly believe that’s what’s wrecking gen z’s brains and turning them into a behavioural nightmare. Why do you think cocomelons so popular? It’s like crack for babies, it’s so overstimulating it assaults their brain that’s why it’s easy to sit them infront of a tv or iPad as a replacement babysitter. The companies who own it are making a fortune off of ruining childrens attention span and stunting cognitive abilities. Tik tok, twitter, instagram, Facebook is the bane of societies existent. Of course it can be used for good but corporation and big buisnesses do not have our best interest in mind. They will tear us apart and ruin our children to get all the money in the world.
My comment keeps getting hidden so here’s another try lmfao I may sound like an old person but social media and phones are harmful for us. I only use Snap to text and RU-vid or just pirate tv shows online since I’m not paying for streaming services lol I truly believe that’s what’s wrecking gen z’s brains and turning them into a behavioural nightmare. Why do you think cocomelons so popular? It’s like crack for babies, it’s so overstimulating it assaults their brain that’s why it’s easy to sit them infront of a tv or iPad as a replacement babysitter. The companies who own it are making a fortune off of ruining childrens attention span and stunting cognitive abilities. Tik tok, twitter, instagram, Facebook is the bane of societies existent. Of course it can be used for good but corporation and big buisnesses do not have our best interest in mind. They will tear us apart and ruin our children to get all the money in the world.
Don't work with Acheeto Tom, you're so much better than he is. A year or two ago, a lot of Tom's takes were bad. All of Acheeto's takes are still bad. He's a super unpleasant person to listen to. Get him OUT!
Working at the hospital I have had to care for numerous ciwa Patients, and those patients can differ from calm and just dealing with it to absolutely pickled brain. One guy was 37 and he looked in his 70s. Absolutely Pickled. with these patients, If you were to cold Turkey, then their body will legitimately shut down. And as a recovering Addict I would much rather withdraw from opioids than alcohol. withdrawing from alcohol can actually kill you quicker than withdrawing from opioids. That is something that a lot of people don't realize. when you have been an alcoholic for so long, your body literally needs it as fuel to function. Because when it is not there, your organs will start to shut down. Your liver shuts down your kidneys Shut down and then your heart, your lungs, your brain. All of it. It is very hard to watch anybody go through withdrawals. But in my experience, watching people withdraw from alcohol is the worst and dealing with those patients is the hardest because they fight more than any others. the amount of detox medication that they need, It is just an ungodly amounts. That should kill a horse and it will barely touch them. The amount of haldol it takes Just to get them to nap can be ridiculous.
The US has atrocious maternal and paternal care. Many women do not get paid maternity leave, and the time they get is significantly shorter compared to other developed countries (most developed countries offer 1-2 years worth of maternity care, the US is 10 weeks). Paternity leave is highly neglected even though fathers play a big role in assisting the wife while she is recovering from giving birth. It's very sad, and leads to situations like the woman with the baby at work.
As a new parent I can tell that kids aren’t cheap but not super expensive either they require more time than money but in USA maternity leave depends on the company. I got one week of paid leave to be with my son and I had to go right back to work. It’s horrible.
There are several cases where people have died in relation to alcohol consumption, the most common being alcohol poisoning, however, extreme alcohol addiction, meaning, decades, upon decades of constant drinking, will not be easy to quit. It is so severe that quitting cold turkey can actually be dangerous to the persons health and kill them, because their body has become reliant on it they have to be slowly weaned off of it.
The girl that talked about how people have children as an accessory is pretty realistic for some people of course not all. Often times people have children for very selfish reasons like they want to put their views/beliefs onto their child, They want to live vicariously through their children, they want to live up to their parents wishes of having kids, And number of other reasons that I can’t think of off the top of my head. Also, the whole idea of family and what it means to be a family and how all of that works has changed a lot since the trad household. I feel like hook up culture has become very prominent in where we are at today in society, the whole idea of “baby mama and baby daddy” completely downplay and ruins, the idea of a stable, reliable family units. I know some people are scared to even have kids because of how fleeting ” love” is, through dating apps and very surface level relationships. It can be hard to even think about having a child.
The US even has a much smaller percentage of drinkers than of europe and asia, much less alcoholics. And we still have a ridiculous number of alcoholics in this country. That just goes to show how big of an issue this is worldwide
To be fair studies show the nutrient value of food has declined over the last 100 years due to increased CO2. Our current population trends may not be sustainable over the long term if we need to farm increasingly large areas just to keep up with the decline. Add more people to feed on top of that and it’s not unbelievable that we might hit a point where we can’t keep up. I can’t fault anyone who decides they don’t want to have kids in some effort to ‘do their part’ or whatever.
Yeah it’s the decrease in nutrient value of food due to the increase of CO2 is the issue. “Studies show” and “experts say” so of course it’s all true and not at all government funded propaganda for anti-natalism.
Alcohol withdrawals are awful. I know. Im an alcoholic. You can definitely die from alcohol withdrawal. My sister best friend died last year from withdrawal. My advice is drink a fuck ton of water and hit the emergency room. When they admit you, ask for Ativan. That stops the tremors and helps you sleep. Sometimes they will try to bait you into going into the psychiatric ward. Dont go in there cause they forget about you in there and once you are in, you are basically locked up and cant leave. Just pay attention to where they take you and they cant force you in there especially if you walked into the emergency room. Happend to me 2 weeks ago. I was like nah we not about to do this. Ill go somewhere else if thats the case. They will lie and say they put alcohlics in there to get quick treatment. Thats a lie lmfao. They tink you are S*icidal or H*micidal. Just keep a cool head and tell them you are nether of those this and just needed some meds and fluids real quick. They cant force you in there unless you give them a reason.👍
Just met my dad 5 years ago at 25. Went my whole life without a male figure in my life except an abusive boyfriend to my aunt who raised me. My dad is such an amazing guy as well as the rest of my long lost family. Definitely grieve for the time that never was that i couldve grown up with him. I do strongly feel that not having a strong male presence in your early years can lead you down the wrong path. I was always seeking validation from men and didnt really know what a good man was until i met my dad.
I spent nearly my entire childhood/teenage years thinking a man was my father. He was never in my life anyway. I found out later that he wasn't my father and had my own kid before I met my actual father. I refuse to let my daughter grow up without me in her life. Her mom and I aren't together, haven't been since my daughter was 2. But that doesn't mean I'm not gonna be around for her. I don't want her to deal with what I did.
Having a child is SOOOOO expensive. Its very expensive from the beginning, and more until the very end.. 💀 and even then sometimes they need help even as adults.
I’m very grateful that my mother and father got to go on paternity leave here in Sweden, spending time with them growing up is something I hold very dear. They came from a country that did not have that, but were lucky enough to get it at the end.
Alcoholism was our cope. Many men function well - and Gen X were also raised by these parents. It's more acceptable to be drinking than other drugs like weed. Cigarettes became worse than weed and now it's starting to turn around where weed isn't as popular and other additions are becoming recreated. When I got cancer, that was my major wake-up call. Alcoholism is a leading cause of diabetes and other aggressive diseases. Now it's the vape that's replacing the weed that's becoming discovered to be worse than the flower. I had a friend who died of popcorn lung though she never vaped. I don't know what that would be like with vaping and I can't possibly imagine it. I've been sober for 7 years with no way to recuperate the damages I did, but I will say I'm going to keep living longer than the soldier who fell all around me. That doesn't mean I'm not still a bit of a flower child because the coping need is real. You just gotta be - wise and ignore the children that expect perfection. It's impossible and they'll come around. 😁
imo i think people should think of adopting instead of having kids because there is a huge issue with homelessness in children and people growing up to not having families. (my moms friend growing up never got adopted, and my old friends dad too.)
This @Acheeto boyo does not know how much a child costs at all, im from Scotland yet i seem to have a better understanding of how financially taxing a babby is due to the cost of medical care pre-birth and the upfront cost for all the equipment needed for a newborn
Ironically, alcohol withdrawal is the only substance you withdraw from that can kill you. Other drugs will make you feel like shit during withdrawal, but alcohol is so dangerous that there is a treatment level dedicated to it from the American society of addiction medicine.
My grandpa was always a someone I look up to, but I live like 4-5 hours away, and I never seen them or really talk to them for quite some time recently at the beginning of the NFL season this year I made sure to call him regularly to discuss the cowboys and how the cubs were doing and how the draft was going for the blackhawks and my mom told me the other day that his wife told my mom that no one ever really calls to talk to him and since a bum hip caused him to retire has made him really sad and lonely. She said that every week he can’t wait for my call to discuss sports and everything going on in lifeim going to see him next week for the first time in over a year and my mom told me that he was basically giddy on the phone saying he has surprises for me and I think it’s his huge pocket knife collection but honestly I just can’t wait to see him
Stopping drinking was the absolute best thing I've ever done. I went from a fat fk 230 to 160. Ive slowly been putting muscle on, up to 178 and can see obliques. Unfortunately i have neglected abs, so have to focus on them.
Yeah man I bet. I still drink too much but I have cut down. At my worst I was drinking so much that I just stopped eating food so I wouldnt get fatter. I'd go a day and half, 2 days sometimes with little to no food and all it did was make me maintain my weight instead of gain
@sparkyspinz9897 well glad you cut back. I'll never go back to drinking. After a year or two I just lost all interest in it. Hell at one point my liver levels were 3x higher than what they were supposed to be. Think it's been 7-8 years and I still have a slightly fatty liver.
@@flutterbugs yes. Because I’m saying it takes two to tango. Both people are at fault. The woman for picking poorly, the man for not taking responsibility
People telling Tom to 'grow up' because he has that natural, built in conscious and instinctive love/desire to protect a child he helped create are part of the problem. The people telling him to grow up are def the ones who need to truly grow up and stop being so self centered. Take some self responsibility. Get protection or close your legs/keep it in your pants. If it fails, that's the risk you take. S3x isn't end all be all and if you aren't ready to have a kid, don't risk for your 2 mins of pleasure.
You can't say they are the problem and in the same breath push your optics and moral compass on them. Society minded people do not see the world the same as independent people. Some of them aren't following the norms or tradition you may be under. Unfortunately this will always be an issue because we can't relate due to our unique environments. Your last sentence is a common view among people that I see with religious moralities. I don't practice anything so of course my view on abortion as a contraceptive wouldn't be agreeable for you. I'm not being malicious btw I just thought you would be curious of another perspective. Your perspective and opinions are valid and I just don't believe there is such a thing as a "correct" view.
Having a male role model can make or break a child's development, especially at younger ages. I had the displeasure of seeing my father drink himself to an early grave when I was only 4. Luckily I had a good enough step dad to look up to while I was still young enough to be molded by him. My older brother seems to be nothing like our step dad and I think that's mostly to do with how old we were when step dad came around, I was 5 or 6 while my brother was 8 or 9. Comparing us side by side in things like work ethic, problem solving, patience, emotional stability etc I think shows how much having a role model can shape a young child
like acheeto saying 'id take care of the kid' as if the woman doesnt have to carry a whole ass child in her womb and then go through the most painful process in nature only to give that kid, that she didnt want, to someone else just because they wanted it was genuinely astounding
Throwback to the woman that wrote a book about her time going undercover as a man, killing herself after learning the difficulties men actually go through
I didnt talk to my dad in like a year, never answered his calls and the last text i sent him ''im out partying cant answer'' and then he died. Biggest regret ever and I cant forgive myself.
Tom is so young, sits in a room all day with very little real world experience. Goes to the gym twice a week and feels like a big man. Such LITTTLE real world experience. If your woman hasn't left you yet she will very soon lmao
Alcohol suppresses the nervous system which is what causes seizures upon withdrawal. The withdrawal is different from heroin, which is physically painful but typically nonleathel to quit. Benzos and Alcohol can be fatal depending on the intensity of the seizures.
In terms of withdrawals there are only a handful of withdrawals that are lethal to go through, these are alcohol, benzos, and barbiturates. Opioids like heroin are very low risk for death from withdrawal, however, the actual withdrawal makes the person feel like absolute shit for multiple days straight. Lots of pain, malaise, nausea, vomiting, sweating, etc
Me personally, I would never abort a child. My dad got his at the time girlfriend pregnant when they were both in high school. He is white, she is black. Her mother didn’t want a biracial grandchild and she made her abort what would’ve been my older half sibling. Both her and my dad still carry that trauma. My dad tells me about how much he mourns his dead child everyday. I didn’t find this out until about two years ago but all throughout my life, my sister and I always had this feeling that there should’ve been three of us. I would take personality tests administered by counselors about birth order and I always got middle child despite being the “oldest”. It hurts that the only reason my brother or sister was aborted was because of their race. It constantly feels like part of me is missing.
My dad taught me that no doesn't mean no when you have money and/or power so I consistently date men who don't think my consent matters. It's gotten to the point that I'm literally too scared to live my life.
@TomDark I actually had a great father . I was really lucky. But he just didn't take care of his health because he was so hard working providing for us. So he passed away at a young age as a result. I just had a terrible mother . She was very cruel and even abusive towards me. She tried choking me and stuff. She just hated me alot for some reason.
I feel like some people dont understand that the birthrate is lower bc before it was some kind of standard to have multiples kids and be married. Now life is really more difficult everything is so expensive and having a child is so expensive and difficult that people are not having kids anymore🤷♀️
Alcoholism is indeed very sad. I was an alcoholic for 11 years. In your early 20's its fun, but the older you get and when it becomes a necessity to drink at all times so you dont get the shakes...its horrible. So easy to access and so accepted by society. My severe alcoholism nearly killed me. It can be one if the most destructive addiction and the most dangerous to detox from because it effects every organ in your body. Im so glad i don't live like that anymore. Surprisingly, i had no adddicts as parents, and I've always been really close to my dad. Which has made me not obsess over having a male figure in my life, and ive never slept around. And my mom is only present sometimes. Im not sure how absent mothers effect the minds of their children.
My stepdad has never been violent towards his family, but he drinks a lot because his job is stressful and even one night without booze makes him sweat literal puddles, get migraines, throw up, get shaky, etc. I’m lucky enough to have been born with a sensitivity to alcohol so I get a headache and a red face pretty quickly, which makes it mostly unenjoyable. But god the withdrawals look so awful. I feel for addicts. Life fvking sucks sometimes but getting stuck on anything that isn’t weed seems detrimental.
Abortion effects everyone not just women. If you get your wife or gf pregnant and you want the kid, but she wants to get an abortion 6 months in, that's your child too. It effects the man too as it's his child.
It certainly affects the man and it should be a discussion between the two people but in the end it comes down to the woman, she’s the one that’s gonna have to carry the baby for the next 9+ months.
@@Unbilotitled77 so she just gets to kill his child without any consent and we're all okay with that? If she decides not to kill the baby he doesn't get to opt out of child support does he?
@@goddammitalana like I said at the start, it’s a discussion for them to have, it’d be pretty shitty for the woman to have an abortion without telling her partner, but in the end if she decides to abort it’s ultimately her choice, forcing a woman to give birth just because “it’s his child too!” Is disgusting.
I think it's not helping that there's this current battle of the sexes going on all the while hookup culture is prominent and porn is normalized and embraced too much. It's like the current climate is just raising people to become even more incapableo of forming decent relationships so can you even expect people to be ready to raise children of their own? That being said, imo, the solution isn't to make the idea having kids seem archaic, outdated, or just an awful life choice. But generational trauma is definitely real and so the fear of adults now carrying that trauma towards raising their own kids is also understandable. I just think a healthy respect and attitude towards the idea of raising a kid is what's needed. I also relate with Tom's sentiments towards abortion but still, I don't think it should be made illegal, neither should we have a careless and carefree attitude towards it. The response to many of these issues is always so extreme from either ends when I think we should try and practice having a more balanced and nuanced response instead.
Society has gone way overboard with individualism and self-determinism. Instead of living a balanced life, one of excesses and restraints, we've just embraced going absolutely fucking ham. It's bad for society. We need to strive for some order and some chaos. Some conservatism, some progressivism. Some debauchery, some social conservation. We also need to stop treating men like trash, and white men like Satan.
my parents are the very opposite, my dad was like a mom and my mom was like a dad im very lucky i wasn't fatherless and how my dad wanted to keep me (i was accidental) but sadly my mom did leave my dad in 2011( i was 6) and he grew to alcoholism and got very aggressive + with his schizophrenia i was left to take care of him sometimes i moved out now 2 years later and i still keep in touch with my dad and my mom (she didn't fully disappear from my life) and everything from now is improving 👍
Bro alls I'm sayin is diapers aren't cheap with 1 child. Imagine 2 😂😂 yeah $100 a month plus all their food, clothes, toys, gas to get to appointments, appointments and there's lots of em, uhhhh going to places for kids. They're expensive little bastards but I love them to bits and I waited Till I was financially stable to do so
