The Fear of Happiness

Подписаться 9 млн

Просмотров 475 тыс.

50% 1

It sounds peculiar but many of us are, beneath the surface, surprisingly scared of the one thing we all say we want: happiness. We can be remarkably skilled at dodging an emotion that is scary because it feels so unfamiliar and so illegal (for us). We should - of course - learn to outgrow our inhibition and give happiness the place it deserves in our lives.
Enjoying our RU-vid videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: t.ly/YTVGN
Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: t.ly/5BZtp
FURTHER READING
You can read more on this and other subjects here: bit.ly/2Kpo3br
“Given how much we all long to be happy, we might presume that accepting the possibility of happiness in our lives would be an uncomplicated, serene and automatic process. But for many of us, however theoretically attached we might be to the notion of being happy, the possibility of actually being so is liable to trigger deep ambivalence and fear. We would - it appears - often prefer to be worried and sad rather than attempt take on the risks surreptitiously connected in our minds with positive moods. We may - however paradoxical it sounds - be nothing less than afraid to be happy…”
MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE
Watch more films on SELF in our playlist:
bit.ly/TSOLself
SOCIAL MEDIA
Feel free to follow us at the links below:
Facebook: / theschooloflifelondon
X: / theschooloflife
Instagram: / theschooloflifelondon
CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
David Crisp
www.mistercrisp.com/momeportfo...
Title animation produced in collaboration with
Vale Productions
www.valeproductions.co.uk/

Опубликовано:

18 июн 2019

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 840

@indiehipstervibe 5 лет назад

Tbh I’m scared of being happy because whenever I got too happy or comfortable in the past, something bad would happen

@WashWashRevoluti0n 5 лет назад

Tumblr Xxx when I was in high school, I dreamt on two separate occasions that I was together with my crush. but in those "dreams" she was going to die from illness and I just remember waking up and crying. To this day I have that sinking feeling that if I find happiness it will end abruptly in sadness.

@marilyntape9050 5 лет назад

Tumblr Xxx same here 😟🇦🇺

@-A-c 5 лет назад

I don't know what got you to think that way, but try to realize that you are always worthy of experiencing happiness. Whatever consequences may come afterward, learn to accept them as part of the experience...as hard as that is to read. TSOF vids on stoicism can give you a deeper understanding as to what i'm talking about. Here's one to get you started: Best of luck. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-vOj5KLcymgA.html

@patfitz6044 5 лет назад

Just remember life goes in cycles, like a gigantic wheel of fortune. We only remember intensely the higher and lower points. It's not bad luck, or everything needs to end up in disaster. It just means when we are in our lower point a lesson will be presented to you, something to solve. You need to be emotionally prepared not to overreact when the time comes and to try to solve it the best you can. It happens to each one of us, we show it or not. Good luck with your lessons y enjoy your happiness when you have it!

@lilyawood 5 лет назад

thats how these things go, but learning to accept change will make you feel less powerless to it

@MsNovazz 5 лет назад

Seriously, i've never expected being adult is this hard. So many things to cope with. Anxiety, sadness, insecurities, pressure...

@jamiemason7924 5 лет назад

I always thought adults had all the answers and that the older you get you will know everything and have life all figured out. But even as adults, life is still unknown and uncertain.

@Anonymous-fj2uo 5 лет назад

Yep, when I was younger I longed to grow up, for the day I turned 18. Now that I'm 20, I realise how life isn't all flowers and roses, especially as an adult. I kind of wish I could go back now, go back to the time when I wasn't anxious all the time!

@mtlicq 5 лет назад

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tcM7Nzei8u4.html

@ScottSwalwell 5 лет назад

Yep life sure does throw some tough things at you.. I faced massive challenges including anxiety and have managed to identify and confront my thoughts and one by one replace them with better thoughts and habits. Also, finding out what triggers these things in my mind and limiting or ridding of them e.g. caffeine, alcohol, poor lifestyle choices etc

@BygoneT 5 лет назад

That's not really being a normal adult. That's being part of the "Bad parents premium card" club. Roughly 49%, of the Western world is in that club. Come to the other side bruh.

@frogdog2583 5 лет назад

“Calm doesn’t feel like what our tribe naturally does” MY WHOLE DAMN FAM

@joshuakosz 5 лет назад

Facts😂

@PretzelSurvival 5 лет назад

The fear of happiness is actually the fear of disappointment.

@Sashique86 5 лет назад

That hit home

@sobrevida157 5 лет назад

I think, according to the video and other sources, that the fear of happiness is the expectation or seeking of disappointment. If, as a child, we were constantly disappointed, then disappointment becomes our normal, our familiar state. So, if things start going well for us, we feel uneasy because it doesn't feel normal or familiar.

@danpetru 5 лет назад

cool observation. i think you're on to something but do you think it's allways the case?

@marilyntape9050 4 года назад

Horses' Hooves right on 😃👍🇦🇺

@asmahamburg3533 4 года назад

That's deep

@chrismackerdush7728 5 лет назад

I was afraid to even watch this video, in case it somehow allowed me or gave me permission to feel happy. Thank you so much for making it.

@maximhollandnederlandthene7640 4 года назад

You don't look unhappy 😂

@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy 3 года назад

Yes, people can put on a happy face and feel like they are trying so hard not to show their pain . . . it because scary when I wasn't even able to smile anymore. I was so used to feeling emotional pain for years that once I finally took care of myself, I didn't know who I was when I became happy . . . 6 months later it still scares me! My brain is still rewiring and adapting to my new reality, and it can feel so overwhelming sometimes that I feel like my mind can't handle it, and people don't understand this when I tell them. I used to feel like this as a teenager, but my brain changed over the years and it is like switching to the opposite personality . . . can be scary trying to figure out why I feel happy for when things are the same, and I psych myself out sometimes.

@jodam96 5 лет назад

I’m scared of being genuinely happy because I know from the past that when I’m happy and something bad happens I take it twice as hard and can’t really cope with it. So if I stay continually flat or low, then it feels emotionally a lot safer for me. I think he addressed that in the video...

@mujdahakime2345 2 года назад

I understand the feeling. This happens when we lack self-trust. The power to be okay is not about things always going right on the outside but the trust in yourself that if something goes wrong, you will have your own back and take care of the problem. Earn your own trust and you will have all the power and strength to meet life's challenges. A book that was very helpful for his topic is The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

@shortsmain6971 2 года назад

Idk how do they know? This channel is so f*king pin point on wtfs going on with me and how I feel, it's amazing...

@Inerize 5 лет назад

*We are afraid of our own potential and well being.* When we feel fulfilled, an automatic mechanism kicks in saying we are not enough and we don't deserve it. But that's 100% not true. We are capable and deserve happy lives. And its good to be reminded of that fact.

@telayajackson2.023 5 лет назад

A psychiatrist once said it's human nature to have negative thoughts, bc they happen automatically w/o us knowing, but it's our job to keep fighting them with positive thoughts.

@ozdemirogulcan 5 лет назад

I reviewed your youtube channel and like it, keep going .

@mtlicq 5 лет назад

@Inerize - Why?

@jJust_NO_ 5 лет назад

why though? I tapped into that. Inner power and a perception of which I am capable of anything and yet only momentarily. I soon digress into fear and a deep apprehension of accountability of my own actions. When that happens, a pattern of trying to judge my negative thoughts because it is not the box of goodness I want to be in which ultimately lead to battle of forces within me. It is a horrifying perpetual loop I am in and well.......

@mtlicq 5 лет назад

@@jJust_NO_You are intelligent, but you're stuck and tangled. I was waiting for Inerize to answer, but your writing looks amazingly like Paul's in Romans chapter 7 and 8. Anyway, your solution, decide to count down 54321 and Just Drop it! Just suddenly stop your thoughts and all judgements of yourself, good ones and bad ones too. (John 5 verses 8 and 9). Don't think about it, just drop it. Glorious liberty is yours! (Romans 8:21). There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus; nothing and no one shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

@Ledatru 5 лет назад

“Can’t become sad it you’re already always sad”

@Inaytirecnis 5 лет назад

This comment broke my heart

@randomstranger8081 5 лет назад

u cn get sadder 😑

@ciaphagray1063 5 лет назад

@@randomstranger8081 nah after a while you get numb wit sadness. And cant even try to be happy

@user-vv6bd7sg4x 5 лет назад

Why are you hitting me?

@danpetru 5 лет назад

so twisted but, i think, true for many people

@PM-qr7sy 4 года назад

I scared of being happy because happy moments seem so fragile like everything could shatter in a second and whenever im too happy i feel like something bad is gonna happen soon

@titlespree 5 лет назад

*Happiness is not a destination* The more you understand it, the more you lose your fear of happiness. Or any fear for that matter. Always remember that life is a constant cycle of good and bad times, and to thrive we must accept and learn to enjoy both. 💪

@that.ll_do_pig 5 лет назад

I'm not so sure we need to learn to enjoy the bad times, but rather learn to cope with them and understand that they are temporary.

@DragonNestMP 5 лет назад

Gosh. You opened my mind. Well said.

@damonharrison2614 5 лет назад

If happiness is not a destination then how do I get there?

@DragonNestMP 5 лет назад

@@damonharrison2614 there's so much happiness in this world like doing what you like, being with yoir family, doing your purpose in life and etc. Thats why he said it's not a destination. There's no specific time and place for you to be happy forever because life has its own ups and downs that's why we got to enjoy every moment. Even of its sad or not.

@salimalbitar 5 лет назад

@@damonharrison2614 happiness is a state of mind

@Jaydoggy531 5 лет назад

In my interactions with some people who have this trait, part of it is they're afraid to be happy because they've also been disappointed afterward - they're tired of outside sources (especially other people) letting them down in the forms of betraying them, BSing them, or taking advantage of them. When they've felt happy and let their guard down, that's when they've been hurt the most. They then embrace pessimism, with an unspoken philosophy of "If you don't have hope, you can't be disappointed." - and as a result, I fear they don't reach their full potential. They settle in a gray neutral one.

@pixyrosejes7133 5 лет назад

That's me.

@christinasharon7687 5 лет назад

Beautifully put and very true 😔

@bahamutRG 5 лет назад

pessimism is good

@danpetru 5 лет назад

@@Matherofacts and then my friend found out he can't even trust himself. It was a bad thing because he could not trust anyone but it was a good thing because now he and the rest of the world were again at the same level

@sevay 4 года назад

Jaydoggy531 WOW....you explained ME in ways I could’ve never explained myself ever. It’s almost like you know me because your description fits so well. Especially the “when they’ve felt happy and let their guard down, that’s when they’ve been the most hurt” hit home real hard. In order to avoid disappointment, my mind just decided to completely rely on pessimism because it’s always clear what will happen and you can’t fall if you’re already at the bottom. I hate being like this. I wish I could be happy like “everyone else”.

@ayingchanda 5 лет назад

Sofa with a banana mouth and walking legs? Now im happy

@bryantirrell6826 5 лет назад

Zachary Bryan Facts

@monkeymoonky7900 5 лет назад

Facts

@laflakvega 5 лет назад

Right? Haha

@charliecastillo2011 5 лет назад

I only noticed the banana at 2:34

@ayingchanda 5 лет назад

@francesco i wasnt distracted. The comment was made out of humour only

@hellogoodbye637 5 лет назад

I think it's more the fear of losing happiness once we are happy.

@TeKeyaKrystal 4 года назад

mmm

@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy 3 года назад

A fear of losing happiness, and feeling like I wouldn't be able to handle it after being on a happiness high . . . it could feel devastating, like a sense of false hope. A feeling of feeling worse than I did BEFORE I became happy, as depression became my identity for almost 5 years. After switching up my antidepressants and feeling better, I don't exactly know who I am. Do I want to become the "it girl" if it causes other females to resent me? And if it makes people want to pull the rug out from under me? I notice how some people test me now, and some days I become so afraid of getting into a relationship with a great guy with the fear that I won't be enough, or that he will become possessive, or become resentful towards me if I break up with him. Life can be so frickin scary sometimes!

@caspian9502 3 года назад

@@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy life sure can be scary sometimes, there's no solution to it, it's a part of the balance. but for what it's worth, you're not the only one feeling these feelings, i know exactly what you mean.

@lilnarm_smoothblaze 3 года назад

@@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsyyour fears are not unreasonable. Growing in a rough area for me, I was still a happy child but I believed I was resented for that. Somehow I was given the blame by my peers when something happened by accident threw someone else action. I truly feel as tho longtime happiness or contentment will result in something tragic for somebody else.

@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy 3 года назад

@@lilnarm_smoothblaze Awe. I can understand your thinking there. I feel like the ladies at work act resentful towards me because they perceive my life as being easier than theirs, simply because I smile when I go into work, which seems to make people think that your life is easy. They also seem to act jealous towards younger staff (they seem to always forget that I am 35), and because they don't like their bodies, they act out towards me (and other females) who wear fitted pants (pants that fit your body) because they want me to wear pants that are big enough so that you can't tell that I have a butt or any curves. I am starting to take life into my own hands and searching for a different job. Last week I was suffering immensely from seasonal depression and anxiety, but this week I am starting to get out of that rut again. Good luck to you, and God Bless. 🙂

@phatato 5 лет назад

"“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." - Marianne Williamson

@lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 4 года назад

Silly concept

@dielaughing73 3 года назад

Huh. So it wasn't Mandela.

@awaywithfairies4689 Год назад

Exactly, I know how to deal with the Darkness. But I cannot manage the Light. Deep down I believe that I do not deserve good, so it makes me feel uncomfortable, and sort of exposed, when I'm happy because I can't hide it. On the other hand, I'm a pro in hiding sadness. I was raised in such emotional mess🤷🏻‍♀️

@Jane_under_a_tree_with_a_book 4 года назад

This is it! I am depressed because my mother, who I loved, was depressed. I have learned to link love and normality to depression. Happiness makes me anxious and overwhelmed because it is not my default. Thank you for this video.

@arfa6924 9 месяцев назад

Its like u r describing me

@miavodopija 5 лет назад

Life has its ups and downs. That's why a lot of people are scared of being happy... because they know what's coming up next.

@justinpettit3432 5 лет назад

Yup

@inferno3080 5 лет назад

Wow yaaa

@fulin13 5 лет назад

@Koome because it feels like just one big loss rather than multiple losses that feel worse. And a loss will always be more impactful than a success. Dealing with failure is a part of life but sometimes we get too used to dealing with failure so we stop seeking success.

@PoisonedChocoCake 5 лет назад

Exactly

@sevay 4 года назад

Mia Vodopija or should we say that after happiness, we know what’s coming “down” next..

@BasementBerean 5 лет назад

1776: Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 2019: Happiness is pursuing me! How can I make it stop?!

@kaelim6532 7 месяцев назад

THIS

@guessmyname1104 5 лет назад

Hulk: "I'm always angry." *SMASH* Me: "I'm always depressed." *SLEEP*

@sadiasultana474 5 лет назад

🤣😂

@BrickFilmerPowerlolifk 4 года назад

Jeff sleep!

@MoskusMoskiferus1611 3 года назад

@@sadiasultana474. The Scariest Comment I've ever see

@litinupcito2044 3 года назад

@@justagamingbulldog9246 no depression has symptoms of insomnia and hypersomnia both have the same chance to have udepression just like how overeating and barley eating have the same chance of having depression

@nikitaowen6976 5 лет назад

Oh my goodness. This video really resonated with me. My mother taught me to expect the worst, and that if the worst doesn't happen then its a bonus. She is constantly a victim and thinks the world owes her a favour. I find myself feeling guilty for my achievements and lifestyle because she wasn't given these opportunities/didn't make anything of her life. Wish there was a way to not feel this misplaced guilt and be truly happy. Thank you for this video.

@1voluntaryist 5 лет назад

I learned I was sabotaging my happiness in the early '70s in therapy with Nathaniel Brandan. I ran negative scenarios on a loop. I got this from my mother. It still happens sometimes but now I am aware of it, which is the first step in stopping.

@tshwanedaynightrides173 4 года назад

I totally relate. I run negative scenarios to the point where I am having imaginary fights in my head. I have to literally shout to myself to stop it. I know this comes from home. The environment there was not a happy one, and so for me I grew up always suspicious of happiness.

@1voluntaryist 3 года назад

@@JH-qw3fi As I said, self-awareness comes first, then when I started sabotaging again I identified to myself what I was doing (brought it into my consciousness) and I had a choice. I choose to stop that time and made a mental note to be on the watch for this. I still do it sometimes unconsciously, but I can analyze it and choose to stop.

@kerron68 5 лет назад

Well there you have it... My childhood is the source of all my unhappiness.

@sobrevida157 5 лет назад

"Well there you have it.." sounds like the end of the journey, rather than the beginning. Understanding the source of an issue is not the same as treating it. Now comes the work

@nikitaowen6976 5 лет назад

Yup!

@flyingcompanion Год назад

Bro... this youtube channel is teaching me that I am one deeply disturbed and fucked up individual with no hope in sight. Thanks again, School of Life. You doing it!

@geistreichtube Год назад

I feel you, mate!

@rosie6 Год назад

Lmaoo

@MrSandManGiveMeADream Год назад

we are all fucked up in a messed up planet

@adelalovesmadara4062 Год назад

ＬＯＬＯＬＯＬ

@zebraCAkes201 Год назад

There's hope. It's called changing. ❤️

@TheLily97232 5 лет назад

How about when you forbid yourself to be happy because you feel like you don't deserve anything good ?

@ranirathi3379 2 года назад

yep. this is me. now looking back i can see everytime i asked for something as a child, i was told how i wasn't "deserving" or good enough to warrant normal things. i didnt have 1 toy my whole childhood. and now that i want to mourn for my inner child, i have this feeling of guilt "c'mon it wasnt that bad, it wasnt like you went to bed hungry or were sexually assaulted; shut up and suck it up like an adult".

@larslover6559 9 месяцев назад

spot on

@PaninaroAurora 4 года назад

I fear being happy and calm means letting the world walk all over me. "Surrendering to the universe" feels like letting the world turn me into someone I don't like, instead of a person I create myself.

@MikeJackson690 5 лет назад

Far too relatable. Wow. I have been brought up in an environment to worry, think the worst of things, people and situations and, as a result, have never learned to love myself. I'm addressing that now and have been improving lately but that's come at least 10 years too late! Better late than never...

@osse1n 5 лет назад

*Beware - happiness is a HIGH emotion, which means there is a LOW coming after that.* Strive for attaining a PEACE of MIND instead and finding joy of life.

@mounirbaroudi5890 5 лет назад

well said

@kyvministries 5 лет назад

This is TRUTH

@vivianeb90 5 лет назад

That is fear of happiness talking. Don't be afraid of being happy. It's just part of a cycle. So what if unhappiness comes after happiness? Because after unhappiness happiness can come back again. You can't avoid going down, just go through the down quickly and you will stay up longer, use it as a spurt of energy, like a swing.

@firsttimeisawjupiter1031 5 лет назад

This is what always comes to my mind when I think about happiness

@firsttimeisawjupiter1031 5 лет назад

@@vivianeb90 Peace of mind is a form of a happy state. Mindfulness is the best state of mind. I rather have peace of mind than a short shot of "happy"

@chickennugget7428 5 лет назад

I’m simply scared of happiness because it doesn’t last.💔

@ranirathi3379 2 года назад

neither do orgasms. then how come we're not scared of those? lol

@ArtsyMegz_On_Etsy 3 года назад

I desperately searched for a video on this topic because, ever since I started taking my antidepressants and ditched alcohol, my happiness has been scaring me, because it feels so unusual and risky at the same time. I am attracting guys at work and now female coworkers have noticed and started chatting about it lately. Happiness is a big personality change for me and I find that I am questioning who I am, because I almost don't recognize myself as my thoughts are much more different (positive self-talk, which I haven't had for years, and I am serious on that!).

@gold76 5 лет назад

I always seem to have an innate fear that when things are going well, there's something coming round the corner that will kick you in the butt

@ScottSwalwell 5 лет назад

I found to just accept there's ups and downs. enjoy the ups and build your mindset for the downs.

@alishahbaz1365 4 года назад

One of the processes which pushes us to deprive ourselves of happiness is related to the beliefs and may i call it superstitious ones we grow up with. For example as a child who has grown up in a family with islamic background, (at least the Iranian version which I have grown up with) we are always reminded and alarmed that " after each episode of happiness there will definitely be an episode of sorrow. So you have got to keep your happiness quiet and to yourself so that the sorrow wouldnt get noticed! Or more drastically you shouldnt be happy at all cuz u know it will be followed with sorrow!"

@tipontoe 5 лет назад

Well, this one hit me hard. Thank you for making this video. I realized that being loyal can have downsides as well. My ex-partners and friends have told me many times I'm a loyal person and I was so glad that this part of my personality. On the other hand, I realized I've been loyal to my parents so strongly (who are perfect example of daily anxiety, mutual contempt and frustration) that I put away my happiness and adjust to them as "a secret tribute to them" like you said in the video. It' s wicked circle of thoughts and dependency now, but the video planted the hope.

@kubo407 5 лет назад

To be honest I stopped caring about being happy. I stopped caring about anything. I am just passing the time until I can finally die.

@jak6744 5 лет назад

Same

@sebastianelytron8450 5 лет назад

How can I put an anonymous RU-vid commenter on suicide watch?

@JH-qw3fi 3 года назад

I don't know why, but your comment makes me feel calm. Like I can't even be bothered to care to worry anymore either. The endless "working with your self and thoughts" has just losts its glory!

@LAfaery 5 лет назад

Fear of happiness largely stems from childhood experiences, especially if you are around negative, grumpy adults who chastise you if you are just being a kid, laughing, having a good time, using your creativity in outside-the-box ways. These types of adults often think its their grown up duty to shut down such silliness, even if the child is not breaking anything or disturbing anyone. But the truth is they are so miserable on the inside with a misguided sense of how to use their power, that lightheartedness irritates them. And they would rather shame a young child than try to improve themselves from within. Also when you are intrinsically happy as a kid, you can easily feel out of place within the negativity that pervades much of everyday life in modern society.

@ve__the 5 месяцев назад

You just fixed something you didn't break , thankyou 😀

@user-sn6my2qt7v 5 лет назад

worry is a blessing in disguise, it shows you care about things and pushes you to do things because of the discomfort you feel. I stopped worrying and became an apathetic human who's stuck in a rut and doesn't care about much at all, except comfort.

@jarm1664 5 лет назад

In a similar vein, I always feel incredibly sad leaving bad situations. No matter how miserable I am in a job, relationship, city, when I take the opportunity to leave it I feel incredibly depressed. I recently got a job far from the freezing awful city that I hate with upbeat people in warm beautiful Hawaii, and I felt so fucking sad about it. It was so confusing. Sometimes I consider turning the job down to stay here. I’m so used to being in a situation I hate that it’s uncomfortable to feel otherwise.

@Forestgravy90 5 лет назад

I’m too afraid of humiliation to do the things necessary to be happy

@patfitz6044 5 лет назад

Try to build yourself esteem first. Look for whatever is in your way and if you can't take the obstacles out of your way, look for professional help. Don't waste your time being focus on the others. Focus on yourself, the only thing you can really control and change. Good luck!

@Forestgravy90 5 лет назад

Pat Fitz thanks pal, it’s less that I lack self-esteem and more that I constantly fail and embarrass myself and I’d take easy comfort with some unfulfilled frustration than go for something and be back to square 1 yet again

@danielc5205 5 лет назад

A lot of unhappy people are still running bad programing from their childhoods.

@geoffreystuttle8080 5 лет назад

I've found it's impossible to be both unhappy and truly grateful at the same time. So I keep focused on the gratitude as much as I can.

@MarikoIchigo 5 лет назад

I cannot explain how much deeply touched I am by this video. My therapist didn't go that far... It's sensitive, it's true, it's how I've been living my life all this time. Thanks a lot for posting this material!

@shivamnow 5 лет назад

So beautifully said. Trying to chase happiness is the sure shot way of making sure you get away from it.

@TheoInart 5 лет назад

If only it were that easy Messy parents making troubled children Anyway: Breathe /stay hydrated/ smile Somewhat helps 🌷

@reva669 5 лет назад

Trust me I get that.

@tshwanedaynightrides173 4 года назад

I totally relate. Lately I have been becoming aware of the fact that I run negative scenarios in my mind to the point where I am having imaginary fights or acting out the scenarios in my head. I have to literally shout to myself to stop it. I know this comes from home, my dad was an extremist. If I wanted to go for a walk, he would give me crime statistics in neighbourhood. The environment at home was not a happy one, and so my unhappiness was a tribute to my late mother, and my sister who were deeply dissatisfied with my fathers treatment of us. Today when I feel content, I believe that something will go wrong, and so to feel safe I try to sabotage it myself. Unhappiness is almost a defence mechanism so as to not be disappointed and so also my safe space.

@tonyshawley7536 5 лет назад

I love this topic. Every negative type of feeling is a derivative of fear.

@thementalhealthproject2020 3 года назад

This channel alone unites entire humanity. I'm really curious to know what is the process of writing the scripts of videos on these channel written and who are the writers? This is such a 💎

@augurelite Год назад

3:40 wow that is so spot on

@normandon4691 4 года назад

The closest thing I feel to happiness is self pleasure. I never feel anything too happy and whenever I feel happy I feel as if something is very wrong and I try and stay away from it. Whenever I try do do what the video says however, something inevitably bad happens to me or someone I know.

@henrygobblesag1815 5 лет назад

Anyone else watch videos like this for years as if we'll ever make a change, and in turn just makes you feel even worse and guilty. All this self help stuff, and even those videos that criticize self help videos for the same reasons, but are basically the same thing. Then I start thinking why even live.

@MsLeading 5 лет назад

This hit me hard! But I guess it we'll all continue to click and contemplate..for better or worse

@siirifani4ever 2 года назад

I can’t even begin to describe the influentiality of these videos. There is true value in them

@RealtalkwithIhuoma 5 лет назад

You know why I love this channel?, it talks about very relatable topics! Which is also what I hope to achieve with my own channel(I just posted my first video!). Happiness, to me , is a process and not a destination.Modifying our blue prints for happiness produces a platform to be happy at all times.

@NenaLavonne 5 лет назад

This is spot on! Fear and anxiety have certainly become a staple in many peoples lives and unfortunately our natural state of being. Always important to remember to question what our mind is telling us, as it is often nothing to do with reality :-) thank you for this awesome video! I hope everyone is having a wonderful day :-) ❤️✨

@michellechouinard4958 3 года назад

This describes me. I grew up in a household with a father who is both paranoid and has anxiety issues (though he is too proud to speak with a counselor or even a doctor about it). He has MS as well, and it has deteriorated his brain and reasoning abilities gradually, making him less and less able to tell when his fears are unfounded. He's also a narcissist and so of course he believes he's always right about everything and that everyone should think and feel the way he does. It's anxiety-inducing just being near him for any length of time. My mother used to be a happy person but he's gradually worn away at her, and her own tendency to panic and worry the worst will always happen (something she acquired after losing her mother when she was 9 years old) is exacerbated by my father's personality. So that's what I grew up with... lol. Thankfully, I'm now married to a very chill guy. But I am striving to overcome my issues with anxiety and unhappiness for my 2-year-old son... because I don't want to continue the cycle.

@kuro758 5 лет назад

This was incredibly relatable My most recent self sabotage was me talking senseless things & acting ignorant towards my crush because she had started liking me & that was fucking overwhelming. Now we don't talk & I'm sad. What the hell?

@bunsenn5064 Год назад

Sadness can’t hit nearly as hard if I’m already sad. If I’m happy, the sadness comes on so much worse.

@opinionabout938 5 лет назад

You don't know how much correct you are. I got you in every way and I never thought you or anyone could have got this deep of my mind. This is something which is there. Though you or anyone could not give any answer other than self.. I really am happy now that I see this video. - Opinion abouT

@aykuncetinkaya6201 5 лет назад

Yup true that..

@mrdankhimself 5 лет назад

“It feels normal to be abandoned.” *GULP*

@TeKeyaKrystal 4 года назад

that one hit

@mryellow4633 5 лет назад

I can only speak for myself, but I can't fear happiness when I don't even really know what it is. I don't feel happiness or sadness in the same way. I can feel "happiness" while in the moment, but because I'm living in the moment I can't recognize it... any time I can recognize it, the moment has passed and therefore so too has the feeling. Sadness, on the other hand, is created by me dwelling on the past or anxiously awaiting the future.

@carlywebster3303 3 года назад

I watch school of life videos often and they have always helped me soo much. I just now found this one and I feel 100% understood after watching this. I seriously appreciate the amazing free therapy this channel makes

@ethereal2620 5 лет назад

So simple yet so profound. Every video on this channel makes us dig just a bit deeper than the last... and cast light into our inner "daemons" (in the original sense of the word, not distorted modern notion)

@dw4353 4 года назад

I’ve just learnt to expect the least so I don’t get disappointed at the end

@beetdiggingcougar 5 лет назад

I'm glad you helped me finally put into words what I see co-workers do all the time. As they climb the career & pay ladder they can't enjoy the freedom it should bring because they sabotage their lives with more burdens (big house, car payments, etc). I had never considered that many of them might be suffering in a similar way that I am. I thought I was the only one. Thank you so much SoL!

@armytank65 3 года назад

I never thought being truely happy was a scary thing but I realized it all started as kid and learning to put myself first and not go with old patterns or my family dynamics too.... I am tired of feeling like I'm walking through a mine field dodging happiness and stepping on gloom and self sabotaging happiness 😊

@xaius4348 5 лет назад

I used to be teriffied of being happy for a bit of a different reason. I had a bit of a cycle of depression, and in this cycle, the roughest lows came after the short high I would have in each cycle. As such, I came to associate happiness with impending pain and suffering, and would have rather skipping that fleeting moment of happiness in order to avoid the chasm that lay beyond it. Of course, this didn't actually work, and if anything, the emotional rollercoaster that I went through due to this rejection of happiness only accelerated my downwards spiral into a more severe depression.

@Nillowo 5 лет назад

I honestly didn’t know this was such a big thing. Because as of recently, I’ve been trying to make large strides in my life, Therapy has been getting intense, and I’m just kind of coming to the conclusion that I might just be afraid of happiness. When you’ve hit rock bottom, you can only go up. When you’re happy, the only way you can go is down, into the comfort of the oh so familiar depression.

@amalzia7437 3 года назад

Strange how it suddenly appeared on my feed because just a few seconds ago, I laughed after a long time and got so anxious that why did I laugh or something bad will happen now because I was having a good laugh after a long time. Great video and if any of you feel the same way, please know that you are a beautiful person, you deserve to be happy. Please smile. :)

@amourtoujours779 3 года назад

The universe hears you

@FinnsArtistryChannel 3 года назад

anything I find enjoyable, my family or friends turn it down or tell me its wrong...I have lost so much motivation in myself and the things that make me happy out of fear that no one will like me. It has put so much stress on me that I have been eating less and staying up till the next morning. I am taking notes for myself to follow to make sure I don't continue to crash and burn, or eventually spontaneously combust.

@SteAndRach 3 года назад

Let me tell you something when I was a teenager like (13-15) years old i was soo into PC Video games - my family hate it, they wanted me to focus on high school and sports but i found in the community inside of the game people likeminded and they support me and we became friends for more than 10 years now, for me it was INCREDIBLE to find friends from around the world just playing - obviously now is 2020! we are all connected but at that time it wasn't so normal - You don't need to feel afraid of crash and burn like the song said "leave me be the one you call - if you jump ill break your fall" BTW - We actually just posted a spoken word video on our RU-vid Channel about how “the one habit to stop to be happy”. Would love to hear your thoughts guys since we made the leap of faith here on RU-vid, we want to share our way to live self-improvement and make it fun and joyful!

@ikiruhikari 4 года назад

"Happiness isn't always the best way to be happy"

@lunamagic8 3 года назад

Wow, this is incredibly accurate. I am so thankful for this channel to exist. 👏🏻🍀

@davidefacchini1005 5 лет назад

Taken the animation alone.. *I must be in the weird part of RU-vid again*

@ArturoCabello 5 лет назад

For myself, happiness is a state of mind. It comes and goes. Strive to live in the present moment, and your happiness will be there!

@fialovanna 5 лет назад

I was watching episodes about self-sabotage and fear of success yesterday. I know you are watching me!

@poet_stowage4574 5 лет назад

fialovanna who’s watching you? RU-vid!?

@wafout-zl4mi 5 лет назад

my whole damn life in a 7mn video!! but i have gained a new perspective on the situation! thank you !

@TheLifeFormulaa 5 лет назад

We are afraid of our light, not our darkness

@talkinteefs 5 лет назад

The way you feel is how you were trained to feel... living in your childhood home for 18+ years is probably the longest training session any of us will ever have at life. So this is what is meant by evaluating your childhood. It isn't necessarily a damning thing, or a way to put your parents or siblings on blast. It's just a conscious evaluation of the subconscious lessons you learned from all of those people and from the role you were assigned and seeing if you need to maybe unlearn some of those lessons and upskill and learn new ones 👌👌👌

@rossanafioravanti8526 5 лет назад

You re genius. That was and sometimes is still my 'battle'. But I've learned to take it easy and turn it into 'adventure'. I know what triggers that pattern of fear, I accept that it's a part of me I need not to listen to too often. I've learned how to live experiences which might be good for me allowing myself to relax. It's not easy but I m trying every day. ❣️

@pltxpltx7996 5 лет назад

Those animations ahah, wut.

@hvbris_ 5 лет назад

Paul Pltx well said, sloth

@bolivar1789 5 лет назад

It looks like the work of a genius! The animator has a lot of reasons to be happy in this world with such a talent.

@RedIria 5 лет назад

@@bolivar1789 Actually.. it looks more like a sophomore effort

@DanManThePurple 5 лет назад

Iasso you’re opinion is valid even though it’s wrong

@bolivar1789 5 лет назад

Hello Lasso. Well I am no expert in art. But if we talk about kindness and civility here, I can assure you that a sophomore kid would make more effort than you, in finding the right words to criticise someone's hard work.

@susanvaughan-schiele4201 5 лет назад

If you're bipolar you become scared of becoming hyper if you get happy.

@justinpettit3432 5 лет назад

Yup

@osse1n 5 лет назад

*Happiness is an INSIDE JOB - not derived from the outwardly, rather found within.*

@edgewayround 5 лет назад

Not true. To live in the world you need and are expected to do things. Hobbies and interests that create happiness require tools, toys, things and people. In civilisation you need money to enjoy life and relax with any sense of security and that is not even taking your own partners needs into account.

@incatcher3600 5 лет назад

It's so weird but astonishing to hear that one may feel guilty for being happy. Sometimes it is worth hearing the same sentence said in another language so that one can get the real meaning from a distance. I used to feel guilty and embarrassed cause my sister and I are totally different, and always worried that she may not live well. But now I realized it is not my fault and I deserve my life.

@verjiggawich 5 лет назад

Love this new animation style. So original and fun--the fact that it's sort of "simple" communicates more, to me. Also a great message; I'm actually coping with this right now. Thanks!

@taqi5675 4 года назад

The only thing stop me from being happy because I feel selfish

@thl4444 4 года назад

To be happy you have to WANT to be happy and you have to allow yourself to be happy. Lot of people actually don't want to be happy deep in their subconscious. They dont think they deserve it and they WANT to be sad and depressed. And they work hard at making sure they're unhappy. No one can make anyone happy unless they want to, just like no one can make you feel bad if you don't want to be.

@pw3543 5 лет назад

This has to be one of the best and most meaningful channels I have ever seen. Thank you

@Grace4ever22 5 лет назад

Such a perfectly written text.... God Bless you SOL for creating such amazing material!!!

@tallyh6992 5 лет назад

Yep this fucked me up for years. I finally recovered by learning about my own psychology, living in the present (when I can), and finding hope by working towards my passions. Life doesn’t have to be miserable. It’s so much more rewarding try and fail than it is to limit your possibilities because of fear. Though I still have panic attacks and GAD, simply deciding to never give up on myself has made all the difference. Let go of perfectionism. It’ll be your worst enemy in this fight.

@patriciamapipi9165 5 лет назад

Thank you for speaking your truth and helping the both of us in the process:)

@8dmon472 5 лет назад

You guys are really amazing I JUST NEEDED THAT😍 THANKS A LOT

@Je.rone_ 5 лет назад

*This makes sense, similar to how people fair success* ...one much get to the bottom of it💪

@youssefboussafa6565 5 лет назад

It’s the journey to happiness that makes us happy...

@smartone9025 Год назад

This video really helped me today. Thank you so much for the needed support this video gave me.

@fredrickrari9338 5 лет назад

People pay attention more when one talks of things that make us sad or depressed than those that make us happy, so to be a social being you have to get intouch with what wakes you sad

@carolina.helena 5 лет назад

This really resonated with me. Thanks The School of Life, a lot of food for thought :)

@MagisterialVoyager 5 лет назад

What a beautiful video. Thank you so much for this lesson to reclaim our own worth to be happy, The School of Life.

@chillphiljazz6177 5 лет назад

The animations are getting increasingly more abstract and strange. My mind is anxious to see what the next one will look like.

@meetontheledge1380 Год назад

I see what you did there!

@gary_buckley 5 лет назад

Therapist: Banana mouth sofa man is not real and cannot hurt you This video: Me: 😩

@karatekidd9706 4 года назад

This channel has helped me in so many ways

@IrishEire 4 года назад

Especially the last part really resonated with me. Thank you very much for this video!

@PaperMario64 5 лет назад

The illustration is weird but the content is wonderful. I grew up in the anxious and panicky household, where happy, self-assuredness was scorned jealously

@lojain-nasser3017 2 года назад

This channel is just everything

@97LifeMelody 5 лет назад

The chair characters are one thing I never knew I needed 💜 Great video as always!

@aquarianage22 5 месяцев назад

What a wonderfully succinct video, I feel like you are reading my mind! I have always had a dream of becoming a voice actor and cannot imagine the pleasure of narrating something so sincere and well thought out. Thank you for your time and care.