When your self-worth depends on what you achieve 

11:48 - Minor editing mistake (but makes quite a difference in meaning). The correct sentence: "'Also, *for a significant part*, achievement and success lie outside of our control, meaning that our ‘worth’ largely depends on circumstances not up to us."

"What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. " - B. Dylan

This pretty much sums up why it's always rubbed me the wrong way when strangers ask "What do you do?" They're not asking because they're genuinely interested in your life.. they're asking so they can "size you up" and decide whether or not you are somebody worthy of being respected & taken seriously.

If you think you hit rock bottom and feel worthless, then start by closing all your social media accounts. Create an isolation bubble in which you do the things you enjoy doing. Nobody needs to know what you do, and you don't need to know what others do. You are not missing anything. In my isolation bubble, I read books that I love, hiked in the mountains, kayaked in the ocean, played video games, and cuddled with my pets while binge-watching series. Only solo activities. I refrained from any social interaction. It took many months until I was ready to be virtually social again. When I got back to social media, it felt so different. I was not a part of it anymore. I didn't want to post anything, and I wasn't curious to check what others were doing. It was like someone gave up his years of smoking addiction and when he lighted his first cigarette after months of refrain, he realized that it felt disgusting and threw it away immediately. When you feel worthless, it actually means you think you feel worthless "compared to others." If you remove that comparison factor from your life, I guarantee you that you will be the happiest person in the world.

When people ask me what I do, I like to say, “As little as possible,” and watch their face. We are more than our doings!

Who's unemployed or working a low profile job ? ....hit a like

"Tell others that you are a loser, then live your life the way you want. We only live once, so live it the way that makes you least regret it." -unknown

Our achievements, material, and social status mean nothing when you die. What matters is how you live, love, and treat the world with compassion, love, and respect for all thing's existing. Protect your soul. Fear is a lie! And money is the trick on us.

"Comparison is the thief of joy" 😭

"I never intended to succeed, and therefore I cannot fail" - a cool quote I just remembered.

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti

I no longer need or seek approval from anyone.

About being successful, I'm reminded of Earl Nightingale's thoughts. You are, by definition, a successful person if you keep trying to achieve a goal or idea you set for yourself. What that is, is yours to realize.

'I want to be a human being, not a human doing' - Scatman John, 1995

Just when I have hit my rock bottom, I got this today... I felt my productivity decreased over the years and I am just a worthless person after all. But this world is curated that way. If you are "successful", you are worthy otherwise you are worthless. Such a sad reality we live in

Everyone comes empty handed into this world and leaves empty handed

having the freedom to lead a peaceful, quiet, humble, but interesting life is my success goal.

You don't need social media to develop that sense of needing achievement for your self worth. Your own family members are enough to make you feel that way

I lost my job to circumstances beyond my control this week. It is hard not to feel worthless after being layed off, even when you know it was not your fault. I appreciate the reminder with your video, and hope that you recognize the value in your self for sharing this wisdom with the world.

I just attended the Roman Catholic Mass and I told the priest about the heading text of this video and he replied back with the PERFECT answer " Your net worth is NOT your self worth".

I have been out of work for a few weeks, I left voluntarily because that job was emotionally consuming me, affecting my health. I have felt useless, like a loser, for not having achieved a little more, for not having a job, as if everyone out there was achieving great things except me, this video comes in these circumstances and it is just what I needed . Thank you.

When people asking me "what are you doing?", usually they want to know what I'm doing for a living, my job, because most people identify themself with their job/work. I usually just say "I play video games, do bicycle tours and enjoy gardening." About 80% of the people responding to this with "So you are unemployed!?"

Most spot-on video I've seen in ages! I've always detested the "What do YOU do?" icebreaker at social events, so whenever someone asks me what I do, I immediately say "Drugs." And, yeah, nine out of ten people will make a face and walk away, but sometimes there'll be one person who gets the joke and we get into a real conversation, not just reciting career-social-achievement garbage.

I think people feel more of a loser because they never become the person they want to be.

It's honestly so difficult. when you've hit rock bottom, it feels extremely lonely as you've become "useless" to everyone else since you add no value to their plans of achieving their goals. You desperately crave connection but you isolate yourself too just so you don't expose yourself as a "loser." You've got two options, do what you wish to do and do what the society deems worthy. When you do what you wish to do, it feels good momentarily as it gives you that freedom, joy of doing what you like, an ephemeral feeling of being in control. And then, the doubts and the uncertainty thoughts creep in, you start questioning if you're doing the right thing. You realize that you'll still be seen "useless" and won't get that social connection. So you decide to dreadfully do what everyone else is doing, constantly avoiding the interactions where you're expected to explain why you aren't at the level where everyone else is in, knowing fully well that you can't catch up to the people you once knew. The gap can't be bridged and no matter what you do, you're still alone, helpless and unhappy.

42 years old barely $10K in retirement with student loans and wheelchair refusing to be on the welfare. This has made me reflect on myself. Maybe its something I do not have to be ashamed of myself

I've been struggling with this for a while now, this was needed!! I was taught if I wasn't productive I had no value

Well said. I'm proud to be someone who has transcended the herd mentality and enjoy the peace that comes with it. Nothing sounds worse than living in that oppressive brainwashed superficial herd trap. I find women to be hugely in line with supporting this machine of status, superficiality, and deeming mens worth solely on their job. Whatever happened to wisdom and depth? Very few care about the value of character, soul and heart anymore.

I think the best way to watch these videos is to frequently pause and reflect on the message.

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

The problem is not only does society expect you to have money, but everything that is involved in society expects it. As a man it’s not a choice unless you find the resources to be comfortable.

Thank you kindly Einzelgänger, you are a jewel on the internet. When I remember of the loved ones I lost in life, I never think of their status, their success or lack thereof, but of the good times we had together, the ideas we exchanged, the love and friendship. When looked at from a considerable distance, our lives must seem absurd. So damn busy perfecting our rehearsed behavior that we neglect the things that really matter. Friendships, love, spending time together.

"We are human beings not human doings" BRAVO MAESTRO! Subscribed!

I'm 21 years old and have recently discovered that I was turning into a human doing. The spotlight effect had almost gotten me crazy. I had become so self conscious and obsessed about myself and its mainly because I'm a content creator. I have decided to retreat for a while to concentrate on just being a person. This video found me at the right time

Many seem to think that success is having a job, a partner and a family But how can those things even be special anymore when the majority of people have those things anyway? Plus you're just debasing them to be shiny trophies that exist merely to boost your ego Life is about experiencing being alive and enjoying the sinple joys of being alive Feel the wind on your face Walk on the sand Enjoy your favourite meal Take pleasure from the gift of pure being

I had many years of suffering in various ways...homelessness, addiction, toxic relationships(including with myself), and ran from facing myself through these and other outlets like working ridiculous amounts of hours to distract from facing myself. Until I learned about narcissistic personalities, both through experience and education, and more about myself... the likes and dislikes and the value in every experience by being present in that moment, and had my entire reality upended I was not facing myself. I felt forced to by the last relationship if only to seperate my being from what I became during the time with my ex and leading to that relationship. Things such as "why am I here?", "who am I, really?", "how did I get here?", "what was my role?"... which was difficult but, through meditation, honest self-reflection, philosophical exploration, etc. I find myself in a new reality today that lies just beneath the surface, the WHY behind the WHAT is how I understand it. The interesting thing is that most of the insights came to me, not by my effort intentionally. That is part of what changes when you sit with self honestly for me.

That's why i try to stay away from others as much as possible. Cause nowadays the majority of people have become super materialistic, fake and shallow tryhards who strive for superficial " success " of wealth, attention and power, to mostly brag and be toxic towards others of how great they are. That's why i try to mostly avoid dealing with others, i can't stand these fake toxic tryhard behaviors.

Wise words my friend. What do you do for a living? I live. ✌️

I have a disability which makes it hard for me to work. I love these videos. They focus on the underdogs of society. My disability is out of my control but others view me as being responsibility for my output despite my disability. Others accept. Most don’t. It’s interesting. Definitely feel like I’m against the grain of societal expectations for reasons that are not my choosing.

A quite pertinent video. As we look at our past decades' accomplishment' thru the lens of Stoicism, life's "meaning" changes, as we mature. Slowing down, smelling the roses, and really seeing the ridiculousness of obsessive thinking and actions, goes a long way toward feeling at peace with this chaotic world. Greeting a stranger with a cheerful "good morning" makes life right, for a little while at least. Thanks.

Glad I grew up in the punk rock subculture. One of our central values was and remains dismissal of seeking the herds approval.

I was mind controlled to believe I was shit unless I became a rock star Imagine that !? Ofcourse it didn’t happen and I was left feeling empty and self hatred But now I feel better about myself at 52 I live a quiet life of a massage therapist still creating music in my cabin in the woods I’d say that’s a success Never had kids or marriage

Success is subjective. For me, success is learning to be as self sufficient as possible. Others may see my lifestyle as needless work or time wasted or frivilously doing nothing. But I don't need others to understand why I choose to live as I do. All I need is for me to approve of it.

I’ve always wondered why it bothered me when people constantly would ask “ What do you do?” Why do you care? Don’t put me in your box I’m allowed to be.

"I wanna be a human being, not a human doing I couldn't keep that pace up if i tried"

I didn't even realise how much I needed this video. Just the other day, I was reflecting myself on how I am a slave to "productivity" and that my sense of self worth is completely fucked. Thank you once again for thinking with me in a world that seems to do less and less of it.

As a person with disabilities, I struggle with internalized ableism from societal conditioning, but even if I were able-bodied, I still wouldn't want to participate in the rat race because I value my time and relationships with loved ones more than money and achievements.

My go to answer to the "What do you do" question is "As little as possible". It gives the asker a chance to come up with a witty reply, while subtly saying fuck that soulless question.

Easier said than done! An understatement. We need more philosophy along these lines,we should be more humanitarian, difficult task when money reigns Supreme. Thanks for your words.

"My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude." - Warsan Shire

I failed an important exam (I'm 17) and I got this today I felt very bad about myself. Seeing other people of my age qualifying the exam with a great score where on the other hand I'm here preparing for another attempt. But as i watched and absorbed the video i realized how greatly the students who qualify this exam are treated and are seen as intelligent and respectable although they could be lacking values that makes us humans. So on the basis of this examination the society might view them as they are the "cream" of the society. It has become a race where every students wants to overshine you in a way that might use some self serving purposes and lies. The place where i go to study (for preparing the exam) there everybody looks so robotic, everyone competing other and the need to overshine. Im not saying its bad but i prefer healthy competition where everyone interacts with no self serving purpose. I made some mistakes, i accepted them and i am working on it so that i can qualify this time.

I so needed this video right now. Thank you, so much!!

I think you have the perfect job. Doing something you like, helping other people and being able to live from it. I wish everyone, including myself, of being able to realize this one day for ourselves. Thank you for your videos, and have a nice day.

This video will help a lot of people gain a new perspective. It’s perfect for the moment that we’re in. Thank you.

This channel is absolute gold, it explains concepts we think about but struggle to convey.

Sometimes, people want to drag us down with them in their vicious circle of misery and rage, if there is peace & personal fulfilment in our lives, they are jealous of us and want us to be like them. You, who reads this, try to learn how to differentiate every person' s daily life and compare it with yours. You will start to live after it.

Overreliance on achievements can breed insecurity and stress. Cultivating self-worth regardless of accomplishments cultivates resilience and tranquillity, fostering authenticity and confidence. This mentality empowers individuals to confront challenges and seek fulfilment through genuine self-acceptance.

Thank you for this video. I've been watching your video essays for years, yet never left a comment before. As a someone who usually taps into curiosity and a healthy "go-getter" attitude by simply being excited about things and able to make things happen, I've now been stuck in a deep rut for quite a long time. Accepting this "chrysalis phase" as I call it has been a different, yet very important teacher. My value is not in my output. It is in my existence. I don't need to hurry up. This video definitely unlocked something very healing and clarifying. Thank you.

I love the way you think and explain Einzelganger. Thank You.

society needs you to be a cog in the wheel of consumerism to keep it afloat. That's why retired people, or unemployed people are shunned. You are the worth of your job and if you have a high value job , then they want you to believe that you're high value.

I failed in life. No career, no money, no family, no friends.

I've watched a nunber of your videos Einzelgänger, and each one I have found to be super enlightening. You speak such wisdom on so many different topics and this one in particular, is something which I enjoyed watching. It's nice to have people discussing such things, especially as this modern society has become totally focussed on treating people as worthy, depending upon what they do and how much they own, rather than who they are as a person. I've struggled for a long time with the ideals of society and my own self-worth as a result. But your video really helps, to put things into perspective and raises a lot of meaningful points. Please do continue to share your wisdom with us all through your videos... Thank you. 🙏🏻

The best vlog from Einzelganger yet!

This is what I've been saying for so long. Since I started to see the ugly face of this era, after all of what I've been through! This achievement society, harmed the humanity in general, by killing the good souls in people. The less someone has conscience, the more successful he is, according to their standards.

Yes very good point and very good channel too speak about these things. Around 9 years ago. I had company with around 30 employer in construction and i was only 25 years old. So in those times ofc many people saw value and all friends familty treated me of course highly. But in my inner self i was suffering very hard and did not enjoy it because it felt everything was a forced and i did everything for other. So i notice life was not anything i enjoy really. It feelt like 24/7 i did task for everyone but me. Yes thats a good thing too help others. But not when yourself get lost in it. But i still do alot of work and fix job to many but i do not have that mutch responsibility. So people do not care about me mutch any longer and i cannot do as mutch i did in those times because i value have a little slower life right now. I enjoy go watching sports, small talks, walking, small conversation etc. I notice small things in life its almost all we have. Even if you are successful.

When I'm down, he shows up, I stand up.❤ thank you bro

I really value your videos. It's a doorway into better introspection, and I really think this world needs more of it.

Bro your videos are changing my life day by day and making better it was my luck that your channel came in my RU-vid recommendation special thanks - from India

We value what really often amounts to slavery way too much. What we have can be taken away at any time.

You are doing an excellent job. Don't stop!

Thank you. I needed this right now. I am in the midst of easing out of the workplace (mid 60s) and finding it difficult. I have in my head my ex-husband's voice telling me that even the job I had "wasn't a REAL job' because it was customer service and his two daughters telling my that I could have gotten a "good' job if I had a degree instead of diploma. And here I am easing out of a job that was already ridiculed and going in to retirement where society wonders what you USED to be, now that you are NOTHING.

It is really upsetting to know that in this world you are worth only in terms of money, fame, and status. People always tell you that you are doing good in life, only if you are wealthy, have lots of friends, and have done what society expected of you...... It makes us feel undeserved and that we will never be enough..... This video is so refreshing, makes me feel like I am not the only one who views the world different. ! Keep on the good work...your videos are an inspiration

How is your life? A "successful" life is an opinion of others. A "satisfied" life is an opinion of yourself. Were mistakes made? Probably. But if you are satisfied that you did the most with what you had, why does the opinion of others matter? My opinion of myself is what matters, I was on the battlefield. The opinion of those in the grandstand do not matter. Make it a great day.

The exemplary coalescence of ideas in this piece is vividly brought to life through the author's eloquent presentation. Thank you

Exact moment of uploading this...i needed this and was waiting for you..thanks ❤❤❤

I'm an edutainer and it currently pays like trash. I know my value but others take it for granted. I sell myself and tell myself; "Why not me?" in a positive sense and; " F them!" in an honest tense. Take from this what you will I'm "just" being. Thanks for producing and reading.

Your content is very appreciated 🙏🏾❤️

You make the best videos on RU-vid, thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Beautifully and succinctly stated! Your words are like poetry for the soul. Discovering our beingness makes our achievements so much more meaningful and rewarding. We’re liberated from the endless pursuit of the carrot on the stick, allowing our passions to create our material success if and how they will, almost as a side effect rather than as a means of validation. Follow your bliss, as William Campbell used to say.

great video! reminds me of your other video about not caring about societal labels put onto you. it’s a good reminder to people that what you do in this life doesn’t determine your worth, the fact you’re alive at all makes you worthy of living a nice life

" I own bunch of companies", Nylon Dusk, the cool guy

I feel like i can breathe easier after watching your videos. I was laying in bed an hour ago feeling the pressure of a vast ocean crushing in on me. I was praying to Jesus about how i feel like such a loser. This video was very comforting. Thank you.

It's good to see a channel like this one giving a treatment of this topic. I say that as exactly the kind of narcissist you're describing. I don't have NPD! Nonetheless, my self-worth depends completely on my academic and work achievements. I'm never content with what I have achieved, because if I rest, more people will surpass me, and I'll be worth less in comparison. It's as if whatever self-worth I can gather evaporates over time, so I have to always be looking for more. I keep people at arm's length because, on some level, friendships and romances are another standard I have to meet or surpass. You have to spend time and attention on such things, yet I already have career standards I need to surpass, and I feel that the more people I am attached to, the further behind I will fall, so that when my time is up, I will be little more than another wisp in the sea of forgotten souls. The worst part is that we're all doing this to ourselves.

One thing I've been thinking of, is that we as human beings need to strive for success in order to be able to afford basic living standards. We simply need a lot of money to survive. Nowadays, most of us need to work super hard and long to be able to afford a tiny apartment and to pay the bills. If life was more affordable, we would perhaps not push ourselves as hard and be more calm with achieving less. It's just that basic things in life are not as accessible for younger people anymore. It puts a lot of pressure on younger generations to perform. We are so stuck in the rat race that we put aside other important things in life, such as having kids, etc.

Great video once again! Upon watching this video, I couldn't help but notice its profound resonance with Stoic philosophy, particularly the teachings of Epictetus. The exploration of societal pressures and their impact on individual self-worth echoes Epictetus' emphasis on focusing only on what is within our control, namely our thoughts and actions. Just as Epictetus advises us to detach our sense of self-worth from external validations, the video highlights the folly of basing our intrinsic value solely on societal expectations and achievements. Camus (totally different philosopher) famously posited that the human condition is inherently absurd, characterized by the tension between our innate desire for meaning and the universe's indifference to our existence. I like to combine the Stoic notion of eudaimonia, or inner flourishing with absurdist philosophy. It gives me a lot of peace of mind. Han himself, which you mention, draws mostly upon themes from critical theory and cultural analysis, exploring how the relentless pursuit of productivity and success in contemporary society breeds a culture of exhaustion and alienation. This is something Marx warned us about long ago. But I always like to look at it from different perspectives! Thanks for the thought provoking content!

Thank you for the clarity!! 💐🥰🙏

Thank you so much for this video and seeing everyone else 's comments whatever we need shows up at just the right time and a lot of us are going through this ! I am personally trapped in a a job I hate without an exit strategy and I create content which is starting to become enslaving . Sleep is the only time there is rest , but this video has clarified to me I must chooses my path that is the most healthiest for me and my life . May everyone be blessed !

I derive some self-worth from having avoided the safe & effective.

That is why I said GOODBYE to "civilization". In the middle of nowhere, off grid and feeding myself. I don't need people. Just my dog.

I like your videos and resonate with them. This is something which I struggled with and struggled even more with because so few people acknowledge what is happening. Thank you for your awareness. I basically feel my worth depends on my successes or failures. I thought I was the only one who thought this. But now it makes sense that I am just a byproduct of my time and environment.

I've found more self-worth in knowing that my words and actions have helped those in need. You never know who you might affect.

I’d say the person cleaning toilets or garbage collectors, plumbers, mechanics, farmers or anyone doing manual labor is far more valuable and contributes more to society than any ‘product manager’, ‘entrepreneur’, etc.

This is good timing

Beautiful! Thank you so much for reminding me ✌😎🥰

This brings a lot of insight and perspective. It’s hard to articulate into words right even as I write this comment but at this point in my life I’m caring less and less about what people do for a living. As you explained - see past the title or the status: “who are you?” “I want to know you.” That really resonates with me. This way of thinking contributes to my lack of socializing out of work or my current friendship circle. Maybe it’s my ignorance, believing that the rest of society is superficial, only focusing on how many likes they get; but that’s not always the case. All that being said - my faith in humanity is… well, I’m very cynical so I’ll leave that to imagination of others. Felt like I was talking out my bum but this video has got the gears going. Thank you for the video 🤙🏾🤘🏾❤️🖤

Since we trade time for money, time is the most valuable thing we have. The more of my time I can keep and use for myself, the richer I am. Owing people time is prison.

God I fucking hate when people ask what do you do

Fantastic video as always. Thanks for your great work. I show your videos to my group at the residential addiction treatment facility I work at sometimes.

Thank you for sharing. Beautifully done.