The Harsher Truth: More Sad Facts to F*

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Опубликовано:

9 фев 2024

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Комментарии : 606

@brainblaze6526 4 месяца назад

Thanks to Keeps for sponsoring this video! Head to keeps.com/SIMON to get a special offer.

@7-ten 4 месяца назад

Stop trying to sell me hair retention products bald man!

@MrOrchidion 4 месяца назад

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANNY! not sure when it is man, but still! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! belated for now - BUT EARLY FOR YOUR NEXT ONE! lol

@MrOrchidion 4 месяца назад

@@7-ten I personally find it amusing as shit lol

@7-ten 4 месяца назад

@@MrOrchidion it is. I was really just adding to the algorithms mostly. But yeah it never stops being funny with a bald man trying to sell you hair retention products.

@PeterKnagge 4 месяца назад

According to my research into the reverse Flynn Effect global IQ scores peaked in 1973 & intelligence has been dropping since the 70s. Sorry bro, you missed out! So just out of curiosity, have millennials learnt how to read a map yet? 😂

@mikerouch416 4 месяца назад

Danny's been re-captured!! Huzzah the blazement has been restored! May the mushroom harvest over runith.

@chriswillis4153 4 месяца назад

"Blazement" 😂 love it!

@greysonstrachan8395 4 месяца назад

@@chriswillis4153The Blazement is actually a canon term. Simon used it in older videos.

@harleyjo4875 4 месяца назад

He escaped?! What the fuck am I paying the Patreon for if the writers are running rampant??

@edwardphilibin3151 4 месяца назад

@@harleyjo4875You're paying the bounty hunters who tracked Danny down. Obviously. 😂

@beagleuk3233 4 месяца назад

#re-freeDanny

@necrocomicon8 4 месяца назад

Professor oak: Are you a boy or a girl? Ming the clam: I am old.

@SecondaryHomunculus 4 месяца назад

I have an English Lab. Her toys remain immaculate -- she treats them like her best friends. When we come home from work, or a visitor comes over, she greets us/them with one brought to us like she's sharing her favorite thing with us. She gathers them around her in bed, too.

@DahliaVonHellion 4 месяца назад

Sharing her favourite thing 🥹 that's so cuuute!!

@joshuawargo6446 4 месяца назад

omfg thats the god damn CUTEST THING =x ! WHAT A GOOD GIRL!

@perkysnood 4 месяца назад

I have a pit/weimaraner mix and she gently gnaws on her toys or uses them as a pillow. She loves her plushies.

@anarionelendili8961 4 месяца назад

Simon wants to go back 100 years to be a big brain. Repeat after me: "The Past was the worst." :)

@AldrickExGladius 4 месяца назад

it really wasn't though

@discordiacreates6669 4 месяца назад

Cue him going back in time, pulling out his smart phone and immediately being caught and burned as a witch. Idk, even if 100yrs ago wasn't that bad, I rather enjoy the medical advances we've made in the past hundred years, as well as advances in mental health knowledge because I definitely wouldn't of survived a hundred years ago with my random panic attacks I get

@gennystout8952 4 месяца назад

The Past was the worst 😅😅😅

@JustHear4DaPopkorn 4 месяца назад

Nah, that's just whut the Illuminati whantz you 2 think.

@googleisacruelmistress1910 4 месяца назад

But we could rule them, like gods... Angry gods...

@Softsqueakyduck 4 месяца назад

The Dumbo/Pinocchio bit had me rolling. The donkey with a cigar just sent me over. 😂 Beautiful job!

@Fixatedwatcher 4 месяца назад

The takedown of Simon over the Dumbo story was EPIC!

@kimhohlmayer7018 4 месяца назад

Totally agree! I was laughing so hard!

@andreaski100 4 месяца назад

I laughed so hard!!😂😂😂 Wearing head phones while cooking dinner for the fam. The looks....

@Stonegolem6 4 месяца назад

So glad I watched instead of listened like I normally do.

@mr.potato9449 4 месяца назад

Think how much footage the editors get that doesn't make it into the videos . . . they should make their own channel of just Simon being wrong :D

@letsengrave155 4 месяца назад

😂

@timothymallon 4 месяца назад

5:55 Quahog - pronounced Co-Hog. And I only know this because of Family Guy. Family Guy takes place in Quahog Rhode Island and the Quahog Clam is named after the town in Rhode Island (or maybe vise versa). Consequently, the Quahog Clam is Rhode Island's official state shellfish. Yep....state official shellfish.

@randomperson6433 4 месяца назад

I’m pretty sure that here Washington the geoduck clam is our state shellfish. It’s equally confusing to pronounce.

@christinebenson518 4 месяца назад

@@randomperson6433 and weird to prep. I watched a video on them and decided I love seafood, but those don't interest me.

@chrisbrett5393 4 месяца назад

I lived for many years in New England. You are correct on the pronunciation. The word quahog comes from the Narragansett word for "hard clam"

@zerofox1551 4 месяца назад

@@chrisbrett5393 Also my pet name for my exwife.

@davidmcgill1000 4 месяца назад

A show that would've definitely been popular when Simon was at the target demographic age. I just picture Simon as one of those children that never did anything but go to the library and ignore everything going on in the world.

@david762x45 4 месяца назад

A couple of things. 1. No tangent timer is a sad fact. 2. Why isn't Simon wearing shoes during his keeps Ad read? 3. I missed Danny's writing on this channel and it made my day that he's back.

@gabbyt98 4 месяца назад

Same

@ManyTriangles 4 месяца назад

Well clearly he only owns one pair of shoes and they take them away when he’s not doing Vessi ad reads.

@user-neo71665 4 месяца назад

I'm not wearing shoes when I watch this

@sammi3004 4 месяца назад

I've just commented this! Lol. Glad someone else noticed this. How often is he shoeless or even barefoot? I'm not sure how I feel about this...haha 😂😂😂

@curtislindsey1736 4 месяца назад

The editing on this video is hilarious! 😂😂😂

@Wiickles 4 месяца назад

Pinnochio. That's Pinnochio, the one with the cigars and the drinking and the turning-into-donkeys. Though Dumbo is also unsettling and depressing in its own right, as a baby elephant born into a circus goes on to have misadventures that include various forms of kidnapping and a drug trip. Weird how the early Disney movies that weren't about princesses were deeply upsetting.

@kpeggs82 4 месяца назад

The ones with princesses were also deeply unsettling. We just try to make it romantic.

@GerryBolger 4 месяца назад

I have it on good authority that I cried whenever the "elephants on parade" part of Dumbo would come on.

@johngaglione2236 4 месяца назад

Most Disney movies have weird things going on and stuff discreetly placed in the background

@MissBlueEyeliner 4 месяца назад

Fact Boi confusing Pinocchio for Dumbo is somehow entirely on brand for him.

@kandreasworld4374 4 месяца назад

I've only had two birthday parties in my life. One when I was 12 and one when I was 25 and I had to throw both of them myself. My first party, only 2 of 12 people showed up so I had wasted my money on buying plates, cups, and goody bags for ten people who didn't show. My second party was awesome and one of my best memories. Life's a crap shoot. 🤷‍♂️

@ripvanwinkle2002 4 месяца назад

Happy Birthday for your next one! ( hoping to get the good luck ball rolling for ya)

@trybunt 3 месяца назад

Yeah, I've been to a heap of surprise birthday parties, but never had one thrown for me. I've never told anyone it bothers me because I don't want one thrown out of pity, so 🤷 oh well, we can't have it all

@cornishcat11 4 месяца назад

Danny is back...... YES

@StfuFFS 4 месяца назад

1:35 Editor Julian with the perfectly timed Skeletor laugh made my day.

@StfuFFS 4 месяца назад

Oh, the struggle of Simon with the word quahog is lovely.

@StfuFFS 4 месяца назад

The last Lisa Simpson birthday horn made me aspirate diet Mountain Dew.

@natetheshocker7547 4 месяца назад

Me too

@sandybarnes887 4 месяца назад

He's into that shit 😅

@kowloonbroadcast 4 месяца назад

may i point out that the new editor is doing their job quite particularly noticeably _dopely._

@claydelaino5852 4 месяца назад

Props to the editor make Simon buy you a drink that bit around dumbo was brilliant

@youtube2snoopy820 4 месяца назад

Punctuation is your mystery friend.

@Ninja1up 4 месяца назад

Thank you Simon, I was born in 86 and I always found Dumbo terrifying. Everyone looks at me like I'm crazy but 3-7 year old me had nightmares anytime I watched it.

@JUnit41484 3 месяца назад

I have similar feelings about James and the Giant peach... Not helped by the fact that my name is James so kids brought it up all the time.

@Ninja1up 3 месяца назад

@@JUnit41484 I loved the book but yes the movie was a horror show.

@Link-1004 Месяц назад

I was too as a kid. Pink elephant was too much for my child brain to comprehend. I refused to watch my VHS copy. It was probably the one of 4 that were only played a handful of times, due to how scared of those movies I was.

@ignitionfrn2223 4 месяца назад

1:40 - Mid roll ads 3:15 - Back to the video 3:50 - Chapter 1 - Ming the clam vs human scientists 9:25 - Chapter 2 - Peter pan died young & alone 15:50 - Chapter 3 - Why dogs love squeky toys 18:30 - Chapter 4 - A curious birthday on mars PS: Where is the tangent timer ?

@koolnqueer98 4 месяца назад

Lorelei does the tangent timer this is a different Editor

@kianraymond 4 месяца назад

Honestly some of the best content RU-vid has to offer. I've been watching since the channel was still called business blaze and it never fails to entertain me 😂

@Im-Not-a-Dog 4 месяца назад

Im pretty sure the proper term for a "Clam Scientist" is a "Gynecologist".

@IKilledEarl 4 месяца назад

Bahahaha 🤣 🤣 🤣

@donaldwert7137 4 месяца назад

Better than my Clamotologist.

@Caleb1874ya 4 месяца назад

Clam Digger

@Im-Not-a-Dog 4 месяца назад

@@Caleb1874ya Clam Diver

@Lunch_Meat 4 месяца назад

I gotta warn my women friends to watch out for clam scientists studying global warming from now on 😬

@Talia.Ryn710 4 месяца назад

Your in-laws dog is probably sucking up all the energy from your mother-in-laws crystals lol

@TheStormSuspect 4 месяца назад

What?

@JeeVeeHaych 4 месяца назад

@@TheStormSuspect It's a reference to something Simon at times mentioned about his mother in law being into stuff like psychics and healing crystals (the latter to help cure her sick dog, I think).

@bmxerkrantz 4 месяца назад

fly all you want Danny. a fall from the basement won't kill you.

@RealMoukeycat 4 месяца назад

Danny's birthday story made me smile. Not what I was expecting from this videos title. I guess you have to get your laughs when you can. Thanks Danny!

@trybunt 3 месяца назад

He absolutely sang happy birthday to himself but was too embarrassed to say so

@moirarussell1950 4 месяца назад

Cows do have best friends. Also some cows are leaders and heroes to the other cows. That’s why farmers have crippled old mommas 30+ yrs old that need constant pampering and cost alot of money in vitamins. It’s common sense to love them, not just mushy sentiment. (Mostly)

@user-neo71665 4 месяца назад

Fellow rancher?

@zarasbazaar 4 месяца назад

"I want to go back into the past, so I can be revered as a giant big brain." I believe the phrase you're looking for is "Burned for being a witch."

@randomramblings2325 4 месяца назад

It’s good to know Danny wrote this script. I wonder if he’s made it out of the basement yet?

@nickmurray4900 4 месяца назад

The editing is literally perfect!

@jenniferlindsey2015 4 месяца назад

Absolutely LOVE the editing in this one in particular! Thanks for the laughs and fact checks!

@tawnie8550 4 месяца назад

God this had me laughing 😂 especially the Dumbo mix up 👍 fantastic!!!

@patrickduffy8632 4 месяца назад

“I’m a clam scientist” has been my pick up line for ages

@EveryFairyDies 4 месяца назад

I did not have "feel sorry for a clam" on my list today, but here we are. And no, we don't have an HR, Simon just pretends we do.

@lekiscool 4 месяца назад

One of my birthdays was a week after everywhere had shut down after rona hit. The only person who sang to me was my dad who was haphazardly singing as he ran up the stairs. (He didn’t stop to sing to me he was like running into the house real quick) When I told him he was the person who acknowledged my birthday that day he was like “oh”. As panic about being in lockdown they were otherwise preoccupied. I did have a friend drop off a bag with candy though before they went to work. As their job wasn’t kind enough to shut down. (Hospitality)

@nivision 4 месяца назад

You've basically described every birthday after about age 30 for me

@SerpentineDeity 4 месяца назад

That clam was murdered. You chilled in the wrong place, Ming!

@Ella.199 4 месяца назад

7:00 god damn it! dont you know curiosity killed the clam!

@PeacelordApropos 4 месяца назад

Massive props to Danny and our great editor. Kazooo

@AidanPatko 4 месяца назад

Brilliant editing, Danny’s back in the Blazement… it’s a good day.

@jasonmasterson686 4 месяца назад

I never expected to see the Monarch from the Venture Bros

@80schick1967 4 месяца назад

This video sent me down a Bobby Driscoll rabbit hole. His story is worse and more f**ked up than you know, utterly heartbreaking! Lots of people have a lot to answer for.

@kensims8214 4 месяца назад

I'm glad to get a Brain Blaze for my birthday... Thank you Simon 🎉

@user-ct5zp1lj6f 4 месяца назад

Yaaayyy Danny! Love all Simons writer's but as a Blaze O. G. Danny will ALWAYS be number one!

@silentkilla14 4 месяца назад

That "Oh no!!" At 9:35 sounds so funny lol like that one family guy character!

@DahliaVonHellion 4 месяца назад

Herbert! haha

@nicolecromwell3861 4 месяца назад

...I am completely aware of the dog toy sounding like...dying prey. I never wanted to know this fact, I'm glad that others now know this fact.

@discordiacreates6669 4 месяца назад

Same, now all must join us

@kevinmcqueenie7420 4 месяца назад

Just as another sad element to the Peter Pan story, it is possible that J.M. Barrie based the character on his brother who died in an ice-skating accident one day before his 14th birthday, and his mother and Barrie himself thought of him as "forever a boy"

@PowPowPixie 4 месяца назад

Well done Julian, the editing was absolute perfection. ❤😂

@darkdest6664 4 месяца назад

The editing is fkn PEAK

@quaiacka 4 месяца назад

Yes! my saturday blaze fix is finally here❤❤ love your channel factboi, always a pleasure🍻

@rdarkstorm8414 4 месяца назад

The editing for this one was so good I can't look away for fear of missing a sick burn or fun cutaway joke

@brianleecrim 4 месяца назад

I love the edits and effects! Keep it going :D

@bannankev 4 месяца назад

The editors are always top notch. I love it! 💜

@Hillbilly001 4 месяца назад

Oh boi! Wake up from a nap and my favorite Lizard Overlord, allegedly, has posted. Well done. Cheers from Tennessee

@StigmataTickles 4 месяца назад

Smoking and drinking turning people into jackasses is the best visual metaphor ever animated.

@clandestineespionage5731 4 месяца назад

I know exactly where that came from. My ADHD understands your ADHD and it is part of what makes your content and tangents so intriguing to me. BUT, thank you for having channels that limit the tangents, as the science/big brains in my life don' all know how to appreciate all of your intricacies.

@charliericker274 4 месяца назад

This actually improved my day thank you.

@simonportlock6405 4 месяца назад

as always a splendid video!!! I don't know how I'd cope in life without your channels? :( Simon... what brand are your spectacles? They are such an ace design!!!

@Istandby666 4 месяца назад

When i first moved to the Mojave desert in California. We got maybe an inch of snow and cars are in the ditch and school was cancelled. Back in the mid-west, snow is a foot tall and kids are walking to school.....lol Living all over the U.S., the weather has been the biggest noticable factor. In Southern Florida the weather goes from the East to the West unlike the other states.

@chadfanton9994 4 месяца назад

Thanks for the entertainment! You guys rock!

@Thromash 4 месяца назад

Editing is on point.

@Makem12 4 месяца назад

I hope you have the day that you deserve Simon.

@danielscanlon5815 4 месяца назад

Haven’t had a Danny episode in ages, love it!

@maxbracegirdle9990 4 месяца назад

I think one of my favourite things about BB is the fact that there's different editors and you can clearly pick out which ones which in the first couple minutes..

@PandoraFoxxBurlesque 4 месяца назад

You age hedgehogs in a similar way to clams: counting the growth rings on their jaws, also posthumously. The oldest discovered was called Thorvald, aged 16. He could've had many more years in him, but we'll never know because he was set upon by a dog somebody wasn't properly supervising 😔

@Surikoazimaet 4 месяца назад

The Whistlerverse is ever expanding... HR is not something I expected.

@NeilCWCampbell 4 месяца назад

Casting will be open soon I imagine 😂

@molly.dog8brooke792 4 месяца назад

Dying of laughter from the Dumbo tangent. Poor Simon oml

@buckyhermit 4 месяца назад

I was half-expecting this episode to go into the fate of the little girl who voiced Ducky in "The Land Before Time."

@itzDrexzyyy 4 месяца назад

Whoever did the editing for this one absolutely smashed it lol, only thing missing was the tangent timer 😂

@DianaHerrmann 4 месяца назад

Simon confusing dumbo and Pinocchio is priceless.

@nicoleerickson5271 3 месяца назад

Loved Julian's editing on this! Was cracking up!

@_kodokami 4 месяца назад

this vid is a masterpiece xD I don’t think I’ve ever saw something soo damn entertaining on this site xD THX SIMON!

@beagleissleeping5359 4 месяца назад

18:34 The most memorable birthday I had was the one where my dad called me, not to wish me happy birthday, but to inform me his well meaning but half drunk girlfriend had tried filling out some important paperwork for him, and he needed my help straightening it all out. That was fun.😂

@triptz 4 месяца назад

Julian, you master! Simon: well that was a mouthful Cut to the 'deedle deedle Dee' *Chef kiss*

@zackattackzack 4 месяца назад

Happy new year happy lunar new year

@burstingolem8023 4 месяца назад

I made the mistake of watching this on a lunch break, and the donkey bit nearly choked me 😂

@AlicesonHarvey-um6lk 4 месяца назад

I think that part of the reason that people are thought to be more intelligent then 100 years ago is that so many scientific discoverys have been made and then studied and then scientists have built knowledge by doing different experiments to build even more understanding Some of this knowledge is then tought in school to children in school, college and universitys

@Chilidogsunday 4 месяца назад

The venture bro memes are so on point I love them.

@josefstrauss9017 4 месяца назад

The editing and effects were amazing 😂

@Aemirys 4 месяца назад

Top notch meme editing!!

@jasonhaydock8205 4 месяца назад

Simon. The horse and shotgun thought is a scene out of a family guy episode. And i am sure the sound affect afterwards oh no.... is also a family guy quote.

@891Henry 4 месяца назад

As soon as we give something a name, we take it personally when something happens to it. RIP Ming.

@katethomas7329 4 месяца назад

I just KNEW it was Danny who did this one by the title 🤣✌️💜

@syddlinden8966 4 месяца назад

Our bulldog-boxer treated his toys like babies. Gave them baths and tossed them around and would get SUPER upset when others squeaked them, take them away, and make sure they were ok. Our beagle just likes to chew and shred fabric. No such babying from her. Lol

@oliverseiler2871 4 месяца назад

Who ever edited this video.........BRAVO! So freaking funny.....Thank you very much 😃 👍🏻 👍🏻 Best regards from Germany

@user-kb2hh8tl2l 4 месяца назад

Amazing editing

@bretthompson5343 4 месяца назад

What are you doing on your desk!?😂 The green apple looking thing!? 😂 😊

@joshcastor1522 4 месяца назад

When he says "Danny," it sounds like "daddy" to me and really made the beginning of the video and little more interesting.

@J30YLK 4 месяца назад

This edit is top tier stuff 👌

@reclawyxhush 4 месяца назад

'boundless doggy optimism'. I can't help but experience embarassing elation whenever such pearls of style pop up. thx

@BADDEC101 4 месяца назад

Best editor! Fact checking the fact-boy. I love it!

@jazzerzzz22 4 месяца назад

Danny! Our Hero Has Crawled Up From The Cellars Man Hole, Back To His Rightful Blazement Thrown!! Extra Magic Spoon Dust For You Danny!

@ilicarriedoll2843 4 месяца назад

JULIAN! I just want you to know that YOU'RE ONE AWESOME EDITOR!!

@jeremyspurlock6636 4 месяца назад

I love how you dubbed in cleveland's oh noo from the cleveland show over simon. That was perfect

@melanincredible4769 4 месяца назад

Why did I find it so fascinating that Simon wasn't wearing any shoes during his Keeps ad read? 😂😂

@goreobsessed2308 4 месяца назад

I hate every day I have to get up and work in my daily life. But man it could be so much worse

@AeroGuy07 4 месяца назад

One of my Siberian Huskies seems to have foubd a nest/den of moles chilling for the winter. Every few days I see her running around the yard, playing with a dead mole.

@murrayscott9546 4 месяца назад

Like up, Danny ! That last one with the cop was truly uplifting. Hope in the shadows.

@MasterPorb 4 месяца назад

Family Guy has taught me that Quahog is pronounced --Koh-hog.

@kanedaku 4 месяца назад

09:34 That _Bruce_ voice was too good!.... A little... _too_ good...

@dhawthorne1634 4 месяца назад

Fairy dust is hard to find but angel dust works just as well.

@stacyrussell460 4 месяца назад

My worst birthday so far was when I turned 40. That's the day my Dad lost his years long battle with dementia. I still enjoy my birthday though. It's Halloween & it helps keep me distracted instead of being sad.