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A line hasn't hit me as hard as "I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser, who only wanted you to see her" since "And you call me up again just to break me like a promise, so causally cruel in the name of being honest." That woman's pen is unparalleled.
@@fabialvarez13 What's crazy is I am not a people pleaser and that lyric still punched me in the gut. It's just so raw and honestly feels like an intrusive thought she has to fight against.
I think Joe was what she needed at that time in her life. He offered stability and comfort and the safety of privacy at a time when she desperately needed it. And over the last 6 years they both grew and changed, but unfortunately it sounds like they didn't grow in the same direction. It sounds like Joe didn't want to change the status quo for whatever reason, and maybe got a little too comfortable with their relationship being what it was. And when Taylor wanted to take the relationship to another level, and expressed her concerns to Joe, he tried to placate her or keep things how they were. And unfortunately that led to an impasse and the only way forward for each of them was to break up. It's a heartbreaking song but I think it is a very good representation of a relationship that's run its course when both parties want something different.
Joe could never marry her unless he wanted to be called Mr Swift for the rest of his life. He was still trying to build a career. And kids? Not while she is so big unless the kids go everywhere with several bodyguards, go to school in armor cars, trying to figure out if your kids’ friends are really their friends or trying to just get in T’s inner circle, etc. I think Joe subconsciously realized that and started to pull away, T saw it and tried hard to hang on, but knew she was failing in getting him to change his view. It is genuinely sad for both of them. I think he loved private Taylor but not celeb Taylor and the last 2 years have been a lot of celeb Taylor. It is really hard. I wish them both the best.
I think „Stop, you‘re losing me“ is the parallel to „oh oh, I‘m falling in love“ from Labyrinth. The choruses are so similar and they both have the heartbeat in the background
How did we go from "I'd marry you with paper rings" to "I wouldn't marry me either" 😭 This song has so many callbacks to lyrics in other songs like she's looking back and how those feelings all changed. For me, this has rocketed up to the #2 spot for breakup songs she's done, second only to All Too Well (10 Minute Version).
Nah this took all too well crown for me just because of how much this relationship meant to her after 7 years but hey that is just opinion don't come for me pls
No cause I never felt anything deeply emotional listening to All Too Well like others(probably cause I've never been a relationship). But I literally felt EVERYTHING listening to You're Losing Me. All Too Well 10 minute version might have better lyrics. But You're Losing Me killed me.
If you think about it, she said it in I think he knows. 'He better lock it down or I won't stick around'. Sadly, marriage is a deal breaker for a lot of couples.
Midnights is lowkey a breakup album. Lavender haze is her giving signals about wanting to be a bride, but was gaslighting herself to not want it because her significant other doesn’t seem to want it too. 😢 Like the only way for their relationship to work is if they’re going to stay in the lavender haze, where nothing gets rough and complicated.
I think of it as a break up with the past, coming to terms with where she is in the past, culminating in the final split with her present and decision to move forward. If you listen to the album, the 3am tracks and then this, you really see how it’s a slow realisation that their current place in life isn’t working any more, coming to terms with both past and present, and finally walking into the future. Narratively, it has a gigantic character arc for Taylor, herself.
@@jezreelmacaraeg5951 It provides a comprehensive understanding of their breakup. For example, his lack of expectations in their relationship (Sweet Nothings) eventually led to him not being as invested in it as she was. This is evident when Taylor asks him to take a risk in 'You're Losing Me.' When you have strong feelings for someone, you may perceive things differently to convince yourself that things are working just fine.
@@heyitsmeefred yes i agree with every thing you said but FOR ME its not a breakup album more so a breaking down album a very introspective message, they hadn’t broken up even if things were rough so i don’t think it makes sense to even figuratively call it that but UR RIGHT looking back on it, despite A LOT of love towards Joe on this album there are A LOT of dark breakup-resembling/foreshadowing parts that even Taylor probably didn’t realise!! Or just generally issues that she alludes to but maybe didn’t think were huge deals at the time. SO I 90% agree with you before u say anything, i do haha, like for example lots of dark stuff/relationship ending stuff type of thing E.g. 1) LH) you said it!! 2) Maroon) The entire second verse onwards of maroon is sad even tho its discussing issues with a PAST love i think she secretly felt like that with Joe too even unknowingly, how much. 4) SOTB) afraid to jinkx it, this can’t be real? i don’t dare wish it etc like she is soooo anxious which is normal but also a red flag 5) YOYOK) Maybe, if we ignore the friends angle, part of this is about her feeling like she’s eternally single? 6) MR: even if is about past relationships it expressed how incompatible ppl can be even if they are in love. 7) Q?) Same with the ending parts. like there’s hardly any songs on midnights that are completely lover songs unlike rep/lover they all have darkness lowkey. 9) bejeweled idk but the i don’t remember if i have a man part always confused me. the rest of the album isn’t as dark but even labrynth sweet nothing mastermind all have sad vibes especially as they are lyrically pretty happy. SORRY FOR MY ESSAY. ❤️❤️
I remember the convo with Jack at the Folklore LPSS before Mirrorball where she second guessed "I've never been a natural, all i do is try try try" and how she wasnt sure if she should say it because it felt "too true" and I can't imagine the internal struggle she must have been living in to write and release "i wouldnt marry me either, a pathological people pleaser".
This song's bridge and chorus! They drill down to why I had to divorce my first husband. I told him what I was feeling based on his words and inactions, and his reply was, "I can't help you with that. It's unfortunate you have that problem." I said I would have to wall myself away a bit at a time/read love him less a bit each time to survive when he chose not to act and knew it hurt me. He said "Okay." I said, "I really mean this to be clear. You are loving me lss each time, so I will have to love you less each time to survive." Then, he was shocked that I didn't love him in couple's counseling. The ambivalence killed our love, and I begged. This song will hit different with many people in sophisticated, deep relationships with flawed partners on both sides. Masterful. She is amazing.
One of her saddest and one of her best songs she’s ever written. OMG. She just wanted him to do something for their relationship, put them first, for once risk something for her. He just couldn’t do it. Its like he never realized he was dating Taylor Swift.
Its never as black and white as this. Taylor is insecure which has been proven by many of her songs. It isnt easy to always put up with someone like that. We only see her side and only the part of the relationship she wants to show
@@megabearr2405 oh we all know she is insecure. Which is funny because she’s me haters claim She is so arrogant. No. She’s probably the most insecure big time artist today. It’s just who she is and explains a lot. Though, my comment stands. Regardless of her insecurities, or how tough it’s to be with someone like that, she still wanted him to put her first, them first. He just didn’t understand her.
This song is crushing. I wonder if she wrote it too late to be on Midnights, or if she held it back because she didn’t want the world to know they were on the rocks. I think she released it so people would stop thinking he cheated on her.
My personal theory is she wrote this around the same time as the rest of Midnights, but that it wasn't on the original track list bc she was hoping the relationship would turn around and get better. Now that everything has fallen apart and the relationship has ended, she's putting out this song she wrote when she was afraid the breakup was coming
The heart beat, the same sound like Cornelia Street, the refference to songs like Exile, Champange problems, Daylight and others, completely breaks my heart for her.
This song took me out. The shaky, breath trying not to cry at the beginning omg. The repeated “stop you’re losing me” is like the shock you go through during a stage of grief. How the heartbeat stops before she says “I CANT FIND A PULSE MY HEART WONT START ANYMORE for you” Taylor delivers on every little small detail.
My heart goes out to Taylor after hearing this song. She tried to keep it going and finally realized he wasnt fully committed , it is heartbreaking after 6 years of being together. Thanks for your reaction, Steven.
I agree. I’m sure she wanted it to work but it seems like he wants a quiet, private life and she is Taylor. She’s never been private or quiet and I think she was missing that spotlight. She thrives in it. I imagine that would be hugely difficult for a partner.
It's really sad that she's going through all of this, rebuilding her whole life after 6 years being in this relationship with Joe, and the worst thing about it is media and their stupid made-up stories about their break up. And i'm so thankful for this song because all my questions were answered now. They were struggling for a while, they started to growing apart. Taylor was still trying to save it somehow but Joe gave up and moved on earlier than her, that's why he didn't fight anymore. He just didn't had balls to break up with her and waited for her to finally understand it won't work and end it herself. They really just grew apart like was said at the beginning, it's sad but it's life. I really like how whole song is very calm which might represent the relationship fading and then there's this bridge where she lets all her emotions explode. The bridge perfectly captured that last try to save this, say this doesn't work and give the partner an ultimatum: If you care about this, DO SOMETHING! Marry me or break up with me! Just do something, cause i'm tired! I'm so ashamed of all weird fans who are attacking Joe now. Not trying to save the relationship and not marrying her isn't some big crime why they should hate him for. And then there's this thing with Matty Healy which is not nice at least to say. As a Swiftie i need to say that i couldn't care less about who is Taylor dating, as long as she's happy i'm happy too, even though it's with a problematic person. And i'm definitely not gonna fight her exes. I think fans should just chill out and let Taylor live her life and fix her problems by herself, she definitely doesn't need our help. This actually only embarrass her in eyes of everyone!
I completely agree and people need to come to terms with this. Especially those whom are saying they are going to come for him when it's just life. We will never know the full story and even with this song it's HER perspective and though it's right to validate what she feels theres no need to act like he committed a crime nor did he completely wrong her 100% when we dont know fs. Long relationships fizzle out, it's completely normal even though it's so heartbreaking.This one is a lot more mature and calm (apart from the bridge which is valid, the marriage part is totally wrong like to lead her on??) than her other breakup tracks yet perfectly encapsulates the feeling of feeling unnoticed and not meeting the expectations in a relationship. He may have loved her and tried in his own ways, maybe that at the end didn't fulfill what she'd expected/wanted/needed and he didn't know that. So it didn't work out. that's the end of it .so it's crazy to me that people are shitting on him. I'd never defend the man over T but it's just like move on! she's been saying she's the happiest she's been in a while now and that's all that matters. if she's happy we're happy
I interpreted some things a little differently. I agree that they most likely began growing a part, but I truly think it wasn’t by much which she, based on how she describes herself continuously, felt like it was the end of the world. Joe didn’t “notice” or “care” because to a regular person ebs and flows like that in relationships are normal and common. She also mentions sending signs, but not actually talking about anything. I sense a major lack of communication on her part to voice how she was feeling about the distancing, which could’ve ultimately ended up fixing the relationship. As for the marriage, based on current AND past lyrics, I think they both wanted to marry at some point, just at different times. There’s lyrics that insinuate he wanted to get married and she wasn’t ready, and now vice versa.
@@novamoin246 Exactly! I don´t care about Joe and see no reason to go after him at all regardless. However, I also think she might have found out more about his "activities" after she left him, hence the big unfollow spree recently. There have been rumours flying around for a long time that came from people in the North part of England that most people there have known for years what he and his friends were up to when they were on their trips at her expence. Guess we will see if any new music confirms it or not. I am just happy she left him and that she is happy❤because being in a relationship with someone who cannot really see you, ignores your emotions and thinks your emotions is an imposition, and wants to push things under the rug, is painful, and eventually her feelings for him just died. And the dude had the audacity to say he didn´t understand why she left... So proud of her for choosing herself❤
The sadder she is the better she is, this is probably her best song ever. Lyrics and music, it’s just not even a song, it’s like straight emotion. And I’m happy she wasn’t scared to write this song and being this vulnerable.
Incredible song - when it starts with Taylor taking a deep breath to steel herself and the heartbeat coming in you know you’re in for it. And “I wouldn’t marry me either - a pathological people pleaser - who only wanted you to see her” stopped me in my tracks. As did her appealing to him to “risk something.” “I know my pain is such an imposition” is such a Tolerate It vibe, and this all makes me think of “putting someone first only works when you’re in their top 5.” Once again Taylor makes the personal universal. Anyone who’s been through the protracted dissolution of a significant relationship gets it.
Unless you are choosing me shatters me! She deserves someone who celebrates her, everything about her - her achievements, her talent, her incredible mind, her vulnerabilities, everything. I understand the need for privacy too and I respect that but you can have it and still celebrate your partner when she is a global superstar. I just want to hug her❤
I think it's harder for someone who's always been able to melt in as a normal person in the crowd and do his own thing, which is something he can't do when dating a superstar like Taylor. He did value her mind and just her as a person mentioned in all her love songs. We don't know exactly, everything, we just know what we know for this song. It still sucks, doesn't mean she should move on that quickly either.
It takes a very strong and self-confident person to be with someone like Taylor as a female artist. It's sad to say, but men can be huge artists and get the support of a partner 100%, but when women are that big, it's hard to find that support. Look at others that are at the top of their game work-wise, but no partner: Mindy Kaling, Reese Witherspoon (recently divorced), Kelly Clarkson, and more. I just hope that Matty isn't in it with Taylor for the wrong reasons. If she's happy, that's great, and I hope it works out.
@@texasseastar came here to say that! Male superstars have their partners cause women do adjust and adapt and 100% support them. For women, it's an entirely different story! Thanks for pointing it out!
@@MBGrace1 I know! She had been really happy with him too! This doesn't take away that - but at the end I think she did want to take it to next level and he wasn't ready because she did come with a lot of fame and her talent and legacy is going to grow! For women like that, it's still a bit tougher to find someone who accepts them as a whole. And I don't think even Taylor at this point would like to divulge everything about her personal life publicly through tabloids or media channels but I hope she finds someone who does celebrate her.
that beat in the back in the first verse until 'i cant find a pulse' part is actually her own heartbeat, it stops after that line and that's so genius and fckng heart wrenching- it came back at the start of second chorus but faintly in the back then stop at the same line i just mentioned.
When I Re listen to lover through midnights, you hear it. She didn’t want the hidden relationship. She didn’t want to never go out. She wanted to have fun and not hide everything. This breakup appears to have released something in her that was trapped. I’m glad it’s over.
@@megabearr2405 she used a heartbeat listening like that one before in 'wildest dreams', and it said in the credits that it's hers. So it's likely she used it again
the composition of this song is really beautiful - i just dont think I'm in the right place on my life to really appreciate this for the masterpiece this truly is as a swiftie. I'll have to revisit at a later date.
I’m going through the exact same thing as Taylor at the moment in my life in regards to breaking up after 6 years with a guy who was extremely passive in our relationship. It was hard- especially because I am so sensitive and need reassurance. I know exactly what she is feeling in this song and it hurts ♥️
I've been there too, sweetie. I'm an emotional person and a people pleaser. I've been single now for 6.5 years after my last relationship of 7 years, and this song represents the end of that relationship to a T. I get a lump in my throat every time I hear it. ❤ I am at peace now being single. It's my choice to remain single, because I only attract narcissistic A holes. 😂
I love how you manage to react to both the lyric as well as the production, most reactors focus more on one or the other. Speaking of the production, you might want to compare this song to Cornelia Street. The drums that come in are identical, the points where the production fades or goes silent, I'm not a production person but there are so many similarities. Several people have created mashups that demonstrate some of it, but I feel like you would pick up on all of the nuances of similarities that others won't. It's like she's reclaiming the narrative of her fear of losing him "I hope I never lose you" and replacing it with "you're losing me." That fear turned into resignation and likely the toughest decision of her life. Such a genius.
I hate that her best songs come from such massive heartbreaks. To think of how long ago she may have written this but kept it hidden because she was still hoping. I'm so glad she shared it with us though.
This song is the new and grown up ATW! This is more heartbreaking then ATW because Joe was a good guy to her and they built a life a home together and were together for 6 years.
Her most painfully raw song...and we all know that's saying a LOT. Such a heartbreaking contrast to how their relationship was when she wrote Call It What You Want and New Years Day
I always thought that the level of privacy Joe demanded was... odd. You can't be with someone of Taylor's status and expect it to be so private that eventually people stop asking. Taylor wanted to show the world how happy she was and Joe pretty much gatekept their relationship as if no one cared. It wasn't until afterwards we all realised that actually, it wasn't healthy.
I agree!! Taylor’s love language clearly seems to be words of affection, and she loves to express her love for someone. The fact that Joe didn’t do the same - basically not speak about her AT ALL - would be hard to deal with on her side.
@@Goldilocks94 Exactly. She's a songwriter and they often need the input that way. With people coming out saying that they broke up before then got back together makes me wonder if there was a 'sunk cost fallacy' at play. As problematic as Matt Healey is, she sounds like he's more her type, although I hope to God he is a rebound for her or he apologises and does so in detail so he knows why he's wrong. Something about her 'Eras Tour' makes me feel like she is genuinely okay. Taylor said this was what she needed to do and refused to shift her boundaries for once. It wouldn't surprise me if Joe did cheat, he wasn't getting what he wanted and needed his ego massaged.
@@Mrs.Fezziwig I feel the same way about her situationship with Matty. At least when he attended her concerts he looked like he was enjoying himself… like completely mesmerizing by her and wasn’t afraid to show it. My Swiftie brain is just spiralling
I wouldn't say it's odd overall if you go to asian celebs it's always even more hidden, like a ghost. And it can work. I just think they grew apart, no longer wanting the same.
Before I even heard the song when I saw the title "You're Losing Me" I just feel and know that it would be some "tolerate it" kind of sh!t and I never hated being right about something. And it has her heartbeat in it!! This song really hurts!! 🥲💔
so many relationships end so quietly, with a quiver, a whisper, and then nothing. one person usually takes the lead in wanting to fight for the relationship while the other becomes indifferent, silent, neglectful. this song reminds me a lot of how my first relationship ended. those last couple months, i felt lonelier than when i was single. i was trying so hard to show empathy and make it work while he took a backseat and seemed indifferent to the fact that we had become so distant. i didn't tell anyone as it was happening bc i didn't want to admit it and make it real. we all deserve a partner who nurtures the relationship and wants it to work just as much as us. this song hits deep
I feel bad for her..six years..she tried her best. She will be ok. Happy the tour is happening for her now and Healy will be a little rebound, for Joe to see. Her cats will help her too.
You just see a story with the lyrics. So heartbreaking hearing the bridge. I feel like she wrote this right before the break up & would of gotten some advise while making it.
This is an INCREDIBLE song!!!! Thank you so much for reacting to it, especially since it's hard to find right now. This was my first listen too. It's in my top 4 out of every midnights track after 1 listen.
Joe could not even accompany her to an award show. As an older woman, I saw that as a no-no. His ego matters more. He cannot handle her success. She will get her Prince . :)
The verses "And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier" and "Fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me", as well as the drums from the verse "Do something, babe, say something" reminds me of "The Great War", which obviously and unfortunately was lost. Still in the war analogies: it's as if Taylor was a soldier fighting and even sacrificing herself to save the relationship, while the other part acted like a soldier who surrenders or even a deserter.
This is one of my FAVORITE SONGS She's ever made, it literally hits me EVERY time and I relate to it so much. When you give someone everything you have and it's still not enough and you're just tired but you don't want to give up. BUT LISTEN TO "THE ARCHER," the parallels between the lyrics to that song and this one are gut-wrenching. Same heartbeat tone and the exact opposite side of this song. It's my 2nd favorite song all time of hers. It's so deep. ❤❤
During that « do sth babe, say sth » always makes me think of that scene in Grey’s Anatomy where Meredith is crying talking to Derek saying « choose me! Love ME! » and both break me every single time...
I think this song gets better in terms of the imagery, and the emotion projecting from it. And I love how the instrumentals kick in at verse 2. Although it isn't done in an overpowering way. It is a great song - and a lot of the last 3 albums is so stripped down and you can hear how much her vocals have improved- especially her lower range, which is so rich.
Crying…every time I hear this or even think of the lyrics. One because my heart breaks for someone who has brought so much pure unrelenting joy into my heart with her brilliance and through her experiences but secondly bc this is exactly where I’m at in my relationship too and I don’t want to let go but all of this stands true for us too. She’s destroying me but I can’t stop listening and loving this song!
I was so waiting for you mentioning how the deep beat in the background is actually a heartbeat effect. Great song. Hopefully it gets released for real sometime soon.
I really feel like there was an intention behind the parallels of this song having a sound similar to Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap--especially with the lyrics and essence of the song being so similar as well. This song is gorgeous, haunting, heartbreaking, and I'm so proud of her releasing this song with such vulnerability.
She was trying to hide what was going on is true. Don't we all try to hide the negative for our mates? She is incredible at telling all of our stories. I was married and the man, athough pretty awesome, couldn't care about us or me enough. We divorced, but I loved him dearly, and he loved me but couldn't change. I Love her.
ive been in this exact situation and it fucking sucks so hearing it through one of taylors songs is really validating but also really heartbreaking cuz ive been there and i know that pain and i just wanna hug her i love her so much 😢❤
I absolutely love it when you start to play "air drums"! I have 2 teenage boys who are lead drummers for their high school, and a college aged son in Med School who is ALSO a drummer! (So you can imagine what my favorite instrument is! ❤) I absolutely adore you Steven! Thank you for being such an awesoME Swiftie! 🫶
You’re sooo on point! Finally someone who understands the song for what it is lol I’m seeing so many people misunderstand the song and have them focus on just one line and not the whole song or the story it’s telling 😅 i’m glad you get it though!!
Love this combination of lyrical, instrumental, voice, & message interpretation. You hit them all beautifully! (Maybe cut the F word just a little? 😉 It's honestly a little distracting if overused. 😊
I have a theory about Midnight Rain, when Taylor said "He wanted a bride, I was making my own name" - Our first thought is that it's Joe who wanted to settle, but Taylor is still chasing her fame. BUT - I think there's a purpose why she made the first/second verse of Midnight Rain sound like a man by distorting it... BECAUSE IT'S NOT HER PERSPECTIVE, BUT THE MAN'S PERSPECTIVE. Like it's Taylor who wanted to have her groom, but Joe is still chasing the stars and his fame. Just my thought. Haha.
no its not that. shes very much the midnight rain it means she knows her worth and is reaching for the stars while he is complacent in life hence why they broke up because her level of fame triggered his insecurities
Erica and Emily Archer are my daughters from previous marriage. Ive got PTND and I said I would heal. Couldn't have done it without my daughters, the song Archer. folklore and evermore was me and healing from divorce with daughters and starting over
You're Losing Me seems to be more about Taylor rather than her significant other. Shows how there's so much that's lacking in the relationship she's in. This happens when either one of them doesn't put in a lot of effort.
