The INFJ and Anxiety 

I had a very stressful job and also resigned. This job was making me ill physically and because of that, I had to put myself first and think of self-preservation. Luckily, I quit and it was the best thing I ever did. INFJs have to have integrity or else we suffer.

I left a job 3 months ago that was draining and toxic. I have no regrets about leaving but now I'm stressing about money. Regardless it's good to hear from other people that I'm not just lazy or spoiled. That good mental health should be a bigger priority than staying in a toxic environment. I question my decision every day because that's what we do as INFJs but hearing your story makes me feel less alone. Thanks for the videos.

This idea of "expectations without an object" is spot on ! Very interesting take on the difference between Si anxiety and Ni anxiety. I don't care much about changes in routines, but i can massively overreact to unwanted external sollicitations that somehow "pollutes" my mental process. One of the worst example of this kind of pollution is prolly those nasty little things called "ear worms". I don't think i would call myself a very anxious person nowadays, which could be related to the fact i score low on turbulence on global/big 5 tests. But i used to be a lot more anxious when i was younger. The key i think, is to learn to trust Ni without rushing it. Ni is rather slow, and does most of its job in a subconscious way, so conscious attempts to speed up the process is counter-productive and lead to anxiety (when Ni doesn't come up with an answer) or negativity (when Ni does come up with a bad, half assed answer). If i had an advice to give to an anxious INFJ it would be "Stop thinking and the solution will appear. And if no solution appear, well, it's time to stop repressing Ne and invent one". We largely underestimate how good we are wth Ne btw.

That’s exactly what I told one ENFP I know. I said to her “all those things you think and do, even your extravertedness, are happening in my head all the time”. In every infj there is an enfp trying to get out”. Infj’s enjoy watching an enfp express themselves. I think the same could be true for us regarding ESTP, but they might not realize it like an ENFP does.

I relate to everything you've explained in this video. I'm quitting my stress provoking job tomorrow. The relief will be blissful! I haven't been bullied, mistreated, or anything of the sort. I've just found the job utterly unfufilling and the people I work with couldn't be more different from me. Every shift was draining, and I would come home depressed after every shift. I would come home feeling more lonely and frustrated with my situation than ever. The money kept me going for a year and a half. Now that I have a second job, that motivation is lost. My workplace wasn't hostile. I had bad experiences that were very much internal and probably due to the fact that I'm hypersensitive. It's more that I absolutely didn't fit in. I felt like an alien amongst my co-workers and a robot in the eyes of customers. (My job was serving in a supermarket). Thankyou for making these videos. You explain these things very well :) - your fellow INFJ

Anxiety to me is caused by restriction - it can be on any level and often will blindside me. I pondered the source of this aversion to constraint and it's basic freedom - to flow around things, objects, issues, ideas, to think when I want about what I want to, whenever I want to. Freedom is a necessity and the most treasured inherent right we have. The inner unconstrained vista is freedom supreme! All the service industry jobs I've had have taught me to value the unrestrained mind whilst engaging in repetitive actions requiring no thinking. Kind of zen. But then they haul you back to reality as you must serve multi-functions, no mind unleashed for you! Now I'm retired and that aspect of daily anxiety is no longer a real threat, but - it's taken years to shed the shielding and that, surprisingly, is not anxiety making! Thank you for sharing your explorations.

I relate with the hsp stuff and often forget that other people aren’t as sensitive to the environment or other people. My isfp mum is also quite sensitive to more sensual things too like sound. Medication is something that’s allowed me to be more objective. Honestly this video has acted as a reminder that being an empath is a gift and a vice, you’ve just got to wield it in the right way. So thank you for the useful gems of advice! :)

Being EXPOSED (and very aware of) the emotions, but not necessarily sympathetic toward the person-- EXACTLY! THANK YOU!!! ^_^ I really like how you explained it as "emotional waves" that get absorbed, rather than emotions in a more conventional sense (i.e. sympathizing with others, which I still do, but only sometimes)

I’m definitely sensitive to my environment, which includes the weather. As for friendships, I just let one friend go, because he kind of puts me in the middle of his conflicts with his girlfriend. Nothing has changed in years, so I blocked them both because there isn't another solution. I’m currently a behavioral therapist and this definitely lines up with my overall plans to work in the behavioral sciences field and eventually start a family with my INTJ partner.

Meaningful insights. Your videos have been very helpful for me. I have 4 psychological disorders, 3 of which are quite serious. So being able to relate this precisely and be comforted by the awareness of a shared human experience is a blessing. You’re doing work that is very important here. INFJ’s contribute greatly to society. Grateful the Lord brought me across your content!

11:50 as an INTP, I can definitely relate. I hate being wrong. It forces me into an Ne loop with all my other primary functions until I fix the issue. Only my ENTJ shadow keeps surfacing and ruining everything. I can't take action to plan for my future using vague memories just to make myself happy again. And as e result, if I don't have my one friend, I'll keep freaking out. Sometimes I end up wanting to kill myself because of how difficult it becomes to deal with my emotions. It forces me to be loyal to a fault if it's an Ne-Fe loop. It forces me to re-experience tormenting memories if it's an Ne-Si loop. And it forces me to over analyze everything into axions without answers if it's the Ne-Ti loop.

I'm an old INFJ with age-appropriate anxieties: that I will never understand "the meaning" before I perish; that following my instinctual self will only manifest an occasional "glimpse"; that a lifetime of investigation was all for naught; that embracing time spent on the "hamster wheel" is woefully inadequate; that evolution, entropy, and existentialism are the primary forces driving the hamster wheel; that the quest to discover the "magic" behind science will only expose the horrible fate of the individual.

I have a stressful job. I wish I could resign, came really close to doing so recently but my mom basically guilted me with the whole "you have to do the responsible thing" talk. It's just horrendous. My work environment is extremely, extremely toxic. I'm fighting, really really fighting depression with it because I almost kinda feel like there's no way out to the point of feeling honestly....like ending it all. I mean I like what I do....(translation) and it helps me to help people which I adore doing because I love languages and building bridges between people of various cultures but I face burnout almost daily (yea building bridges entails more people wanting more and more stuff translated) but also just the people (management)are really awful and quite flippant about the way they treat others. People are always telling us to grow a thicker skin...why can't they grow a larger heart.... And what you said about "little knife jabs", soooo right on point.

"My expectation IS freedom" --> TRUTH

Oh this is good!! I couldn’t agree more. I have anxiety about traveling, but as I overcome it, I’ve realized that I really don’t care about “going new places and doing things”. I find myself “getting out and doing things” thinking …I could be home right now doing or thinking whatever I want. Getting out into unknown or uncontrolled environments wear me down quick… for several reasons.

The character of Todd in Dead Poet’s Society is a great example of an anxious INFJ (need an INFJ film/characters video Ren) As a schoolboy, I was highly anxious and pretty miserable for about 3 years. If it was now, I’d have been classified as suffering from anxiety or mild depression. But it wasn’t widely recognised back then in the 80s.

“Weather is the veil of Heaven.” That’s really profound.💛

Freedom being the expectation. Very well said.

I think self awareness is super important to dealing with anxiety and handling our emotions and reactions to situations. Something which helped me quite a bit actually is meditation.... Even just the time spent learning about it helped me learn how to better recognize and refocus negative or unhelpful thoughts.

I like your references to the weather and agree with your take on it being connected to heaven. I remember noticing that the clouds looked like a patchwork quilt one day and felt cheered up. I was standing at a bus stop and commented about it to the two other ladies standing next to me. They gave me a funny look and started talking about the gas bill. I just felt the gas bill would still be there tomorrow but the sky would look different in a few minutes. Different points of view I guess!

I think you did this video for me today.. ha.. ha.! I've had an anxious day and particularly anxious past few weeks. Im also an HSP who works in a meaningless job wih a noisy environment. I am keeping the job for now as it allows me to have 2 week days off to go with my mother to her medical appointments. My mother 's cancer has gotten worse in the past few weeks and I am trying to process that. I tend to become extremely anxious over events I have no control over. Today, I missed a doctor appointment to address my anxiety and possible adjustment to my depression meds because I feel myself dipping down. It has been rescheduled for a couple of weeks from now so it will be addressed. I am also going to seek a therapist referral as it as provided me much benefit in the past. Therefore, I can so very well relate to what you discussed. It helps me to hear other HSPs anxiety issues and ways they deal with it. I am trying to focus on taking time for myself everyday and exercising as well. Take care!

I like it-link between the weather and heaven.

This info is timeless. Thanks again Renaud!

I'm an INFJ and I've always been fascinated with weather.

Hey Ren YET another GREAT TOPIC. Anxiety had, has and unfortunately Will have agteay impact on my BEING.....I also understand that IT is a weak spot for INFJ. But I really try to deal with IT as much as i CAN. .I suffer from OCD but try to cope with this. A calm environment is for me Essential to LIVE and in a way survive. I have to force myself NOT to procasterate. Sometimes IT works out and a lot of Times IT doesn,t. Costs a lot of energy. This constant BATTLE IN MY HEAD Thinking VS Feeling.....could you tell me Een osbthis common for INFJ ????? I AM looking forward to hear your answer. Great to see and hear from you and your great insight on things. Hugz Hans 🥰

I was reminded of Stephen Dedalus’ words when you talked about freedom here: “When the soul of a man is born in this country there are nets flung at it to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly by those nets.”

24:07 right after you said that you are planning to stop using antidepressants it completly overwhelmed me because i put myself on your place and what you had to go through, like you're not allowed to struggle with that... i have that problem of taking people's emotions and struggles as my own and that is actually the reason why i am not the best at the door slamming to some of the people- saviour complex. i have to help them first and then get away from them, no matter how much they've hurt me or been toxic in some ways. their emotions are mine and leaving them with those same emotions that i felt is so..... so hard. i should've probably commented something like this on your "My Strange INFJ Empathy" video, but just that one moment in this video really reminded me that i have to live with this. i'm also still learning about cognitive functions and mbti, so i'm not really sure if i am infj 100%. if someone asked me what type i am, i would probably say that i don't know. anyway, thank you SO much for your videos, they are really helping me to realize which mbti type i am and/or am i an infj. i hope you have a great day if you are reading this!!!!!❤💜☀️

I’m sorry if I’ve shared too much and made you uncomfortable. I understand that-I pick up people’s feelings too and they want to share things with me even when I’ve just met them. 🤟🏼😎

Geoengineering is causing the weather now I have anxiety that it is blocking heaven... Expectations cause the majority of severe depression! You have beautiful eyes BTW I'm INFJ too so watch stuff & my 1st thought was holy crap I would enjoy staring into those eyes all the time ❤💕

I was doing my homework in a bar and it was so nice because all the people around me were happy and in a good mood. It was so much better then at work, because I feel everyones stress. The stressful people at work just suck the life out of me. Do INFJs like bars? It just feels so nice to be surrounded by so many people being happy and having fun.

Deep and accurate insights IMHO. I knew immediately what you meant by those motion induced emotions.

This was one of the BEST explanations of Ni's "demeanor". Also, thank you for sharing all of your insights! This has helped me SO much! (I also think I have never met another INFJ male, not positive but pretty sure, so this is awesome ^_^ )

I can relate to a lot of what you speak of in this video Ren, and these experiences follow on from something I hinted at in a comment I made on the previous video relating to anger. As we are on social media and I have given my real name as my username on RU-vid, I think I have to be careful about describing specifics with regards to my particular situation - just in case. However, this made me wish to focus on something which relates to both INFJ anger, and anxiety, in general. One of the things I have reservations about with respect to INFJ discussions online, is the use of certain terminology which seems to be quite prevalent within the MBTI community. I'm thinking here about terms such as "absorbing the emotions of others", and the "need for alone time to recharge". I understand why these terms are used - indeed I have a lot of experience of both of these things myself - but at some level I just don't find these expressions on their own to be satisfying. I would much prefer to be cognisant about the origins of these experiences, and have knowledge about the processes that are going on within the individual when these experiences take place - whether that be at a psychological, biological, or chemical level: whatever it happens to be. I feel that it can be very easy to just use these expressions when we have these experiences, and slip into a mode of a kind of complacency at times when we do so as a result. As you say in the video, origins are very important to understanding - and hope of progress too. I hope I didn't offend anyone with this take, but it's something that's been brewing within me for a while!

Thanks again Renaud.

INFJ here, absolutely agree with everything you said, IDK how to find myself a meaningful job though

I stopped taking medication because it wasn't so helpful like it was in the past and it felt like it's not doing good to me anymore so why keep taking?! Actually, since I started taking them I slipped into a more depressive and anxious state. This is how it felt so it had no benefit for me. I prefer handling it without the meds, since they barely do something. I left my job 2 months ago because of my anxieties and toxic environment that only made it worse. I dont have regrets but I am struggling with money now so I must find another work soon. I think about trying other things, like CBD because it's much more natural and don't have side effects and withdrawal symptoms.

Oh ny gosh! So right on

Hi Ren. You willingly and eloquently articulate things that are in me, and probably in many INFJ’s. Do you have any way I can communicate directly? I might have some ideas and a platform you might be interested in, but apart from that it would be good just to connect.

Would you discuss triggers, coping, and boundaries? What does it look like? How to avoid or establish self talk in cases that you are not able to 'escape' certain people? I am HSP as well. Thank you for your work and conversation. You are very appreciated!

this question me be a bit dumb but how come Fe Dom are les sensitive in a way than Infj types? They seem to pick up emotions and vibes maybe better than Infj, but the Infj is more effected by it physicle

Weather is the veil of heaven I've never heard that I love it

I know it's sad, but I never gave a damn about the weather but it never gave a damn about me.

♡

Peterson is an INTJ. There is no way an INFJ is that smug and poignant.