It's been a few months since I've distanced myself from my mom. The way you described this kind of messed up kind of love is like you know my mom. When I learned about parenting my inner child I didn't know how to love my inner child. I began to observe how my nephew's wife treated her daughter because she was so sweet to her, same goes for my niece and her grandson. I've learned to talk to my inner child by thinking of how my nephew's wife talks/treats her daughter and have learned to identify that the mean, abusive inner dialog is my mother's. It's been a long and painful journey in breaking away from my family and relearning how to truly care for myself. Thank you for this video.🙏🙏🙏✌💜
What is love? Love is selfless! Where you will find most narcissistic or toxic parents to be selfish?!? True love is unconditional, having empathy, compassion, understanding, the best interest in mind for that person, emotional support, trust, and genuinely care about another person’s wellbeing.
The way you connected the "terrible twos" label to the beginning of individuation really speaks to how it's easier for some to love someone before they show independence...this video was healing.
"Well, SOMEBODY has to tell you the truth! You really need to have a more realistic view of yourself." Oh? Whose "truth"? Whose "reality"? And it's NEVER your turn to tell them "the truth" or present a "reality" other than the one they have a life-or-death grip on. Thank you for your work, Evita. Keep choosing YOURSELF!
You really explained about my childhood . Even though my parents loved me the way they believed. But I remembered that they often over protected and said "You can't do this because this and that" I have to give up many opportunity other kids do. I never thought that effected so much whole my life until i watch your video. It is so hard to change .... it's my habit to not believe I am lovable ...
@sachikojaquez4252 - Your comment is so well written and really resonated with me. My parents are the same way - they love me the way they believe, but objectively the way they love is not healthy. They do not know how to love in a healthy way that can foster and nurture our sense of self-esteem, confidence and agency. They control, and think that's love. As a result, we grow up having missed opportunities like you said instead. True love does not make us feel that way. True love makes us step into our own power.
"is their love really that worthy" changed my perspective. their love is not worth much actually, they are not even capable of nurturing it. i realize how much of a power trip people gained from having me auditioning for their love. and that kept us there, in that cycle... so many movies about it too. even now as i am typing this, what is suggested on youtube beside this video is "How I met your mother" which is all about auditioning for someone's love when they are not ready or able to love you. love is just supposed to be a fact, you are so right on that, especially with your parents. I guess authoritative parenting style has a lot to do with this... I hope to God, we all can evolve out of the "emotional dark age" (this is how Arien Samouie described it and I agree with that wording).
My mother told me that "she was suppost to somewhat care about me but she never wanted me. I never heard the words I love you from anybody in my family. And this is okay beause I love myself and so does GOD, the God of my understanding.
Thank you for these videos and your loving voice whispers the truth story of what happened even many know what happened to us self love is maybe the hardest for us thanks again dear contunie to dpread love and kindness
me (in school, getting bad grades) mother: "You're not grotesque but you're not that pretty either. So you better study hard, or else your only options will be prostitution or the nunnery." (years later) mother: "Why don't you ever get a boyfriend?" 💀💀💀
Sorry just got to finishing the video. This is your greatest video yet 😫 "Is their love even that worth it that I need to work hard for it?" 😫😭 I believe my limerence is now cured. 😮💨🥹 Thank you, Evita. I will download this video to watch often.
