The Lies About Sex: Cynthia Garrett Interview - The Becket Cook Show Ep. 167 

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My boyfriend and I met at Biola, dated for 2 years, got engaged, then tied the knot. We've only known each other (and I mean "know" in the biblical sense) and no one else. Many times over our 30+ years of marriage I thought, "God, You designed this, You are so wise, and we're so glad we did it Your way." We weren't perfect by any means, but we tried to heed God's Word about not trespassing against each other and treating each other with honor and purity. That built a foundation of trust as we entered our holy union.

Hi Becket , just want you to know that I am praying for you and so proud of you. You’re an amazing man .

So crazy that the last few days I have been watching Sex in the City reruns and then I come across this video. This is all becoming crystal clear with what that show did to an entire generation, myself included. Yuck I am done with it.

As a man seeking a Godly woman, I've noticed the majority of Christians living together (obviously not being pure) before marriage. I don't hear anyone speaking about this.

Knocked it out of the ballpark.. again!! What a great interview! ❤ She is amazing! Beckett..never interrupts always ask the right question! Beckett's input is pure wisdom! Dang, we listeners are so blessed ✝️✨

We had a private small group of women that were working on our marriages. We were going to do a book together about sexuality but the leader shot it down. I argued for it, stating that it did not have to be graphic or a counseling session. But simply a biblical perspective on sexuality. I also said if we can’t talk about sex at church where should we go? Love both your perspectives. So valuable.

I am a man, and I honestly believe that "purity culture" and feminism played a large role in the reason why I had sexual desires for other men instead of women. "Purity culture" taught me that women hate sex while only men desire sex. It also taught me that sex is inherently harmful for women. Feminism taught me that a man's sexual desire for a woman is inherently predatory. Therefore, I became fearful and disgusted by the idea of sex with a woman. A sexual relationship with another man appealed to me more because if only men enjoy sex, then the only type of sex that is mutually pleasurable is homosexual behavior between two men. Because feminism taught me that women hated men, I did not want anything to do with a woman. Fast forward to today, and this same fear in me resurfaced with the rise of the Me Too movement, which further demonized male heterosexuality. Feminism and "purity culture" have more in common that people realize.

I was part of a mega church most of my life, started waking up, then 2020 hit, and the church refused to open, I left, and found a tiny church that will only speak the truth, and that’s why it will stay tiny. I’m so thankful for you, and your guests that are speaking out, I felt alone for a VERY long time. 🙌🏼❤️‍🔥🙌🏼

When I realised the damage I was doing to my psyche by watching secular entertainment, I got rid of my TV and haven't looked back.

With every Becket show I realise how important your channel to this generation, Becket! We need people like you to speak on these topics. Thank YOU! May the Lord bless you and guide you to keep doing this, bringing light and clarity about purity to this generation. Cynthia is great! We’re enjoying to listen to her. Thanks for inviting her!

Becket made such a great point when he said, "is this show glorifying God" if you know it is not and you keep watching it, you are continuing to let sin entertain you.

Great show! I used to watch Sex In The City and thought it was such a cool show and there was nothing wrong with all the sexuality and numerous sex partners they had. I had a few gay friends and thought it was great how they were featured in the show. I came across Sex In the City rerun the other day and I was curious, what would I think of this show now that I am a born again Christian. Wow, I literally had a hard time watching and finishing just one scene. It shocks me now that I ever thought "that" was okay and normal. Thank you, Jesus, for saving me and awakening me to the truth. Praying for others salvation also!

The parents AND the church need to drop the correct messages into their lives. I myself explained to my gorgeous daughters what (the wrong) men will try to get/take from them (and not to be fools), and how much more valued they will be by the right man who will wait for marriage.

Shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette do nothing to support the true merit of marriage and sex. How could these shows be healthy for young women to watch??? And the episode that features spending a night together is the worst! That makes it seem that you have to pass the “sex test” to be a possible candidate for marriage. How ugly is that! Our society glorifies shows like these and that is truly sad.😢

Hi 👋 I view many different channels, covering different topics. I recently watched a straight guys channel in Germany. He is into men's fashion and visits mens stores looking for and buying clothes. He was walking down a street in Berlin and he was recording himself walking and talking. He passed a large building and on the flagpole outside was a gay pride rainbow 🌈 flag. And I thought to myself how things have changed globally. I am in my sixties in age , and lived as a gay man . I no longer do. I have changed my life and i am Christian now. But I remember how hard it was being gay years ago. The homophobic hatred was common. I experienced it . I have nothing to do with gay pride events now. I have no desire to get involved either. I just wanted to say this. My life is so much better and easier living as a Christian.

My fave movie when a teen was "Dirty Dancing", it made abortions look okay, what a lie but God is Mighty to save and extends mercy, grace, forgiveness and love, thank you Jesus, my Saviour, my God 💕

I can’t help but think about Madonna‘s earlier influence beginning with wearing your bras on the outside of your clothing. And now mothers- CHRISTIAN MOTHERS- are taking their prepubescent daughters to Taylor Swift concerts as if it’s a wonderful bonding experience. 🤯🤯🤯

Becket, this interview was wonderful. I’m so encouraged you and Cynthia are standing up for biblical sexuality and calling evil evil. I love how she ended the discussion with creating open dialogue in the church. Bringing things to the light is so important and following the Lord’s design for relationships is vital.

Beckett…you are a treasure.

This is so good.... Becket and Cynthia you are spot on. Sex in the City, Jersey Shore, Keeping up with the Kardashian etc...all Hollywood lies that most watched and bought into. Thank you both for bringing this to light. ✝❤

Great interview! As someone who was a very new Christian teenager during the "purity" push in the late 90s/early 2000s, I 100% agree that it ended up doing a LOT of damage, especially to people young in the faith. I saw firsthand how it led to legalism in the area of relationships, not just for my friends but in my own life. While my original goal was to not even kiss before marriage, the man I eventually married and I did way more than that, regretfully. But since we didn't "technically" have sex, he was ok with it, whereas for me, I felt so guilty and ruined, I didn't think I had any other choice than to marry him. That flawed understanding that was the foundation of my decision led to years of stress and heartache that could have been avoidable. Thank the Lord for His faithfulness to change us from the form He finds us in when we're bound up in sin by teaching us wisdom and increasing our faith and trust in Him and His way. ❤ You know, I've never watched Sex and the City, but now that you mention the whole "gay men in women's bodies" things, I can totally see that in what I know of the show from friends who watched it, and gay men's behavior, also from friends (that are gay)! That blew my mind when you said that, especially considering how many people I knew that were modeling their lifestyles after it. I think Cynthia is right that the Church doesn't dialogue enough, or at all, about sex and sexuality. While it shouldn't be the core issue, obviously, it is something that is integral to our humanity, which makes it an important part of our lives on this earth. I had to laugh a bit when she was talking about parenting her son regarding sex. As a mom, I think that's a natural tendency to want to do for a child you've raised and nurtured. 😂 I also 100% agree about PornHub. So many people who get on there have no idea the level of abuse and drug use going on in those videos. Hearing the testimonies of women and men who have made it out of that is heartbreaking. It grieves me so much that porn has become such a casual thing in our society. 😢 Anyway, all that to say, "Great interview!" You were directly on topic while keeping it light and appropriate in view of the Word and what it has to say about such things. Keep up the great work, both of you, and thank you for sharing! Blessings to you. 😊

I agree that churches need to speak / teach on sexual issues MUCH MORE OFTEN than they do. How does someone go from being in the world, then accepting Jesus as Savior and then attending church but the church does not talk about sex? We need instruction.

Excellent… Thank you for writing this book… More young people need to read it!

Sex and the Single Girl by Helen Gurley Brown in the 1960’s begat Sex and the City. It has been horrible for women and unborn babies. Sex is not free.

What great testimonies! This is a great Interview! God bless you both!

I just stopped this at 3:40. Yes, Cynthia: Men will lie to have their way concerning sex. And the thing is that it's not really their way that they are having. It's the 'father of lies' ways that they are pursuing. This gets possibly worse where same sex is concerned. Becket, for you and everyone else here who went through the same sex scene in one form or another (including me): What was ever REALLY attractive about it? Where REALLY was the attraction of it?

I made the mistake of watching 5 minutes of "Sex and the City" a couple of months ago. I really regretted that.

Thank you for addressing this topic! It is so relevant and something christians do not address often. Also, about living celibate as a christian. So needed!

Cynthia should come to Godspeak like you did, Beckett! Such a great message from people that know first hand how success without Christ is so empty. Thank you for sharing. 🥰

Thanks, BK and your guest. I needed this assurance that Im on the right track by choosing to be celibate. I grew up in a Christian home, and I knew that sex before marriage is against Gods laws. But when I was in my 20s, I thought it was an in thing to have a boyfriend and have sex so that I could fit in. I ended up with 2 children out of wedlock. Im a divorcee now, and I've decided to stay single and celibate until God decides otherwise, cos I love to love and beloved.🤭

"For me, living a chaste life, I have the holy spirit indwelling me - I have supernatural power to live this kind of life. It's not just me, white knuckling it." Becket, just want to say your testimony is such a gem of the 21st century! I pray more people hear it.

I needed to hear this today.

I know too many 'Christians' who are having sex and or living together and really think its alright.🙄

I just bought the book on Amazon for my daughter. Thank you 🙏

Love your show Beckett ❤ God continue to bless 🙏🏼 🙏🏼

Brilliant discussion!!!! I pray this goes viral ❤

One thing I have noticed over my long life, is that there is no forgiveness for women committing perceived sexual sins. God and Jesus forgive of course but not everyone agrees. Women can be severely injured and even killed and destroyed emotionally, physically, and spiritually by any accusation, true or untrue. Sex is not safe for women and can be used as a weapon. p.s. Please don’t say “well you have to be careful who you choose!” That’s putting the blame back on the victim.

Becket, so happy I found your channel again🎉 Yes, satan is always messing with our "hope" of what God created us to be.

Interesting. Spot on...keeping you in my prayers Becket 🙏

Great show!! She is a sweetheart, and G-d Bless her and her family!!

Amen Becket! Absolutely need the supernatural power of Holy Spirit.. to be pure for our groom.. praise God

great show. love the honesty about the struggle to stay pure. And what Cynthia said about the church not talking about all the distortion going on with sexuality. That if we don't talk about it, it doesn't exist mentality is such a killer. Love your show Becket. You have a great interview style and such interesting guests.

Hey Becket! Really appreciate what you are doing! And Cynthia! As a father of 2 teenage boys and 2 girls i really know the world needs this. Trying to be pure,is not the beginning. Seeking Jesus and his purity, and relationship with him will renew us unto purity! Lots of love to you both!

Adults really need to mentor their young about sex and marriage. Parents not talking to their children about it because it's weird and uncomfortable leads to their children finding out about it from media and peers, and they'll get their ideas from there and think it's normal. And by media, I mean not just movies and TV shows, video games, but also explicit adult content.

We had a private small group of women that were working on our marriages. We were going to do a book together about sexuality but the leader shot it down. I argued for it, stating that it did not have to be graphic or a counseling session. But simply a biblical perspective on sexuality. I also said if we can’t talk about sex at church where should we go?

💖💖💖love this so much! 🥰 Well said Cynthia 💝 thanks Becket, thanks Cynthia 💖💖💖

Truth being revealed!

I believe we should ask the Holy Spirit to help us to go against the current and NOT say 'Oh my G-d'. I believe we are taking the Lord's name in vain. I see a lot of Christians even writing the initials (acronym) standing for that phrase, also, which is used a lot , and I find it very uncomfortable. My mother told us we shouldn't say anything even similar like 'Gosh' because we were basically saying the same thing but just covering it up...

Thank you for this. My daughter so needs to hear this. I think I will buy her the book. She goes from one man to another. Please pray for her to get the understanding of the issue.❤

Great show! You and Cynthia vibe so well together!

Wow, Cynthia is so on target about the whole rotten bill of goods women have been sold. As a teen in the 70s, I was basically told everything was permitted, yet as I became an adult I couldn’t believe that feminists were okay with , and still are okay with women debasing themselves in appearance and behavior under the guise of freedom. I honestly cannot believe Western society is at this place, it’s truly heartbreaking. The lies of secularism have destroyed multiple generations, while popular culture continues to ply their evil wares rather than share the message of salvation through Christ.

20:30. Wonderful! I have been saying this for years!!! Wonderful conversation and very timely. I’m going to buy this book!

I was in a similar situation with desire and a preacher prayed for me and walking home I felt God liberated me amd desire was just gone, it was like eyescales fell off and i was puzzled how come i ever felt such desire for that person. Jesus is powerful! It s spiritual, demons and stuff

Becket, I have really come to enjoy your channel Becket 😊 Great interview by the way! You are great at listening and I love how you interact with your guests. By the way I just finished your book “A Change of Affection” on Audible. WOW! What a testimony. And by the way I really loved your FAQ’s at the end! God bless! ✝️

Cynthia is such a real and likable person. I want to hang out with her. I never heard of her before you had her on the first time. This video must’ve been filmed some time back since she’s speaking of June 18th being in the future. I will continue to pray for your journey Becket. I look forward to your attraction to men being a thing of the past. Keep your subscribers posted on any specific prayer requests you have. My power has been restored after Hurricane Beryl. Praise God for that. This was a category 1 hurricane and it’s criminal how much the infrastructure is no longer set up to handle all that comes with it on so many levels.

Friends comedy was exactly the same. Also making porn normal with no consequences!

Sounds like an amazing book! Thank you for the interview.

Amen! This is what I needed to hear!

This is so good. Im an ex-lesbian diminatrix, burkesque, drag perfomer and sex educator. Im feeling called to transfer my skills to coaching, with a focus on trauma & sexuality which is biblically grounded. I have been at a loss bc I've changed souch, but this is very encouraging. Im also a survivor. Trafficking is an issue close to my heart. I just got that book on the Take Down today! Thanks to you both for discussing this.

Good show! You should get Christopher West on your show!!! He is an amazing guy to speak with about this. His work on St. John Paul II's Theology of the Body is phenomenal!!!!!

Excellent post dear ones!! Thank u

Good interview!

She opens with "oh my G*d!" what was that?😢

What a great show Becket! ❤

What an amazing testimony

Listening now. Thx. Beckett

Wonderful talk

Amazing again Becket, thank you.

This Was so insightful and confirmation. Thanks guys!!❤

SO.VERY.GOOD.❤

I am so looking forward to reading your book! I’ve been asking the same questions as of late. Great chat!

Oh thank God I can relate with someone. My heart❤️❤️❤️ is so grateful. Thank you for your great interview!

I’m so sorry you had to experience that ..

Glad I never saw this movie and thank you for helping me see that I am not missing out. And thank you for being raw about what y’all do to not go back and how-to keep out of what I did and went back to an old relationship and my heart is sooo broke. I know now what to do going fwd.❤

Such an important conversation.

About making her son fear sex: made me think we should teach our kids not to fear it but to REVERE it.

This ties in with Seth Gruber interview with Claire Chambers and Audrey Werner authors of The SEICUS Circle, understanding the sexual revolution. It's a 5 part series but we'll worth the time if you want to understand what's going on today.

Another great topic! So relevant!!

Thank you!

As an ex-feminist, I am so grateful to hear someone else say old loud what I have been saying for the last several years: that the feminist movement (as it happened; maybe not as it was originally intended) has degraded so many women of my generation without their knowledge (unless they have the luck or Holy Spirit to wake them up), and left a whole generation of kids without parents at home who grew up to be adults with major issues. Now the “feminist movement” looks nothing like what we fought for and people have lost their minds looking for something they can’t quite place. Lord, have mercy on us all. Have mercy on the lost ones. Have mercy on the ones who have been lied to. Have mercy on those whose parents were worked to the bone and came home with nothing to give their children emotionally. Thank you for saying out loud what I have been saying and feeling.

Praise the Lord, this is great! Thank you guys!

This interview is profoundly powerful - the two prospective that you both bring come together very effectively to truly explore and explain from a biblical prospective the pitfalls of sexual sins. And you show how the various sexual sins (heterosexual and homosexual) are actually a lot more similar and damaging than we have been led by evil to understand. Both genders have bought into lies that play upon their natural make-up to get them to abuse others and themselves while being motivated by warped desire. Your point about the series Sex and the City being actually ‘ gay men in women’s bodies ‘ was very illustrating for those of us who never made that connection. What makes your conversation so powerful is how you both speak from authentic experience and how you point out that the purity movement and similar movements placed upon women and men to strive NOT to sin was really a counter productive pharisaical approach by what I would call ‘ the religious spirit ‘ driven camp or the typical ‘Christianity of tips and techniques’ camp which really just amounts to the religious institution trying to get everyone to keep giving one more pass at the old testiment approach of sin management to attain holiness and obedience and a right relationship with God VS seeking a deeper relationship-based commitment to actual love and abiding with Christ to be the basis upon which one follows and becomes an actual disciple and therefore eventually a deeply loving and obedient child of God. The failed approach is based on duty and/or works and/or the status one gets out of striving in a religious system and the other is based on actual love and wisdom and devotion centered upon what one can give to the object of their love and affection . In the second model - honor and obedience is not the goal one is constantly striving to work toward with white-knuckled effort fighting to control the steering wheel of our lives but rather it is the natural fruit and downstream resukts that flow from a genuine relationship with the Lord where honoring and obeying comes easily and truly voluntarily from the heart. It is how a bridegroom of Christ feels and behaves toward their beloved - Christ himself. What a profound and excellent and biblical comparison where what is described is the ideal approach God has been advocating for from the start. We see this parallel in the relationship he desires with his people and the relationship he desires beteeen a man and a woman which is illustrated throughout scripture. A solid marriage is the example He uses again and again to describe the proper and intended relationship that he has always intended to have with his creation / His children. This revelation should not be as surprising to contemplate as it is for many of us (because we have been raised under so many lies by Satan through the media and the world (society). Whereas, if we would actually study the Bible we would see that the marriage relationship is exactly the model the Lord uses over and over to explain the sort of relationship he has always desired with his people from the Old Testiment and especially in the New Testiment model that he has been describing in His word all along. If people would grasp the deeper understanding of love and sin and what relationships were designed and intended to be about - the way a loving relationship should be, as opposed to the warped lies that Satan and evil has twisted things into - it would solve the relationship dilemma and destruction that has occurred both in our relationship with God and in our relationships with others and particularly between husbands and wives (or potential future spouses) The secret is to be in the relationship at a heart-level where one truly likes and loves the other person - not based merely on lust or innate attraction and what desires or benefits we can receive by taking from them vs a deeper love from the heart based on genuine and enduring appreciation and desire for the character and virtues of the person who is the object of that love. A person is either a taker or a giver when it comes to their overall approach to life, relationships and God. This applies first and foremost with our relationship with the Lord, and then with our relationship with our significant other and also with others in general. Those who would only be about what they can receive and get in this life will lose what they seek after - but those who would instead seek to give their lives away in love toward God and others will actually end up receiving as well And receive in a profoundly deeper way that doesn’t disappoint . I think that concept is in scripture as well if we look diligent my for it. We must be genuine and authentic in our own walk and pursuit of a abiding relationship with God from the heart - And only then we will be best able to pursue relationships with others when we approach both our relationship with God and another - not merely out of surface level lust or desire but out of a deeper and more profound level of the heart based on a desire to honor the other person simply for who they are. Honor God because of who he is and not because a religious institution told you to or imposed their tips and techniques on you. Instead just walk with God and learn by experience to love him Intimately from the heart. That is what God actually desires and this same approach is what makes for actual lasting love between the sexes. Thank you for the profound truth your conversation reveals and helps teach us all. And thank you for leveraging your life experiences to be such powerful teachers And witnesses to these biblical truths. You have transformed your past sins into a powerful witness in much the same way God transformed Saul into Paul - his greatest evangelist and apologist of all time. Brave / well done

Thank you both 💞💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. Would love a program or discussion on an individual who knew their sex and then later on struggled w ssa. There is an underlying incident/s or trauma that has had to fuel that propensity and or struggle. 💙💞🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻👊👊

We need to start talking about abortion. The public conversation is all about rights and life, but most women have had abortions and none ever talk about it. Thats becaue if its so painful and inherently shameful. Most of us were convinced it was a blob of tissue and that we should not have babies until the right conditions were met. years ago u went to a christian healing group on it. We all cried a lot!! There were women who had had 5+ abortions. Even after all that healing, its painful to say or hear the word. This is a big part of our culture. If we are so empowered and free, why do we suffer in silence? Women have been drug through the wringer, become cold and predatory. Now they want our bathrooms? Its too much! God help us🙏🏻

I think the most important way we can contribute to raising awareness is to become more and more acutely aware of the wounds and scars we acquired during promiscuity that still affect us, and to be able to articulate that in a way that youth can understand.

Hi Becket!

I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and we have been given a code of moral conduct called the Law of Chastity. This commandment compels us to strict abstinence in thought, word, and deed before and during marriage. It's taught to our youth from an early age and as adults we're expected to live it in its fullness. The Law of Chastity acts as both a spiritual and physical barrier of entry into the Temples. No one can enter unless living in accordance to the law and violations of it can and do cause restrictions on church membership, including excommunication. I'm grateful for the Law of Chastity and what it has taught me about the sacred nature of sexuality and procreation.

Shalom Blessings in Jesus ✝️

Wow, what a interview!

Thank you

Wonderful show, I wish I had money,i could have bought the book, but not minding May our glorious God bless you 2.

I was going to say I was first, but someone beat me. ☹️ lol

I think the purity movement made people think that if they lived a chaste life they were promised a great sex /love life . That’s just not the case , that’s not “ the promise”, so many people were very disappointed…

SO GREAT!

THANK YOU FOR SAYING “PURITY CULTURE” WAS A WEIRD RELIGIOUS CULT THING!

Agreed that the "purity doctrine" came from puritanical rules from "men" as in "manmade", not necessarily males.

I just love you two so much! Thank you for your boldness and the clarity you bring, your willingness to talk about "the hard topics" which in reality aren't difficult to talk about at all if approached with grace and truth which you both did so well. Thank you Holy Spirit for the transformations in their lives that now make them givers of Your loving truth 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Wow Becket, thank you for this interview. Thank you Cynthia for so boldly declaring that truth that the war is not between illicit sexual behaviour and godly sexual behaviour. No, Jesus and his perfect love - AMEN! That was a journey that we had to make in our own counselling ministry at Setting Captives Free. How I thank Jesus for breaking the old false methods and then rebuilding a ministry that he wanted, where he was central and lifted up.

Intimacy is every aspect of being. Sharing ur being with Christ as with ur mate. Never less than that. 🎉