The Lost Daughter Explained | Ending Explained 

Hope this is helpful! What were your thoughts and ideas about The Lost Daughter? I would love to discuss! Let me know below!! And Happy New Year!!

One of the key notes this movie skims off - which I didn't see in any review not even this one - is that Leda is constantly surrounded by men who have left their children and are totally normalized by society. The hiker (leaves his 3 sons), the innkeeper Lyle (left his kids too) and even Tony (who only meets Nina over the weekend and is away all the week). Leda is utterly defeated by her biology because it is kinda okay if a father leaves his kids and pursues whatever life he wants but a woman doing the same is just appalling. That is perhaps why she screams at the bunch of boys at the theatre. Its all so bloody unfair that men can prance around without consequences while she has to live with guilt for her selfish actions. Just my thoughts.

This film, in my opinion, illustrates how important it is to know yourself before making irreversible life choices, such as becoming a parent. Not just for women, but for men as well. So many fathers are selfish as hell, but for some reason, get more of a pass than mothers do. Know thyself and to thine own self be true. Don't inflict your shortcomings on another generation of humans. The world would be such a better place if less people embarked on parenthood as casually as shopping for a pair of shoes.

I think the biggest problem with motherhood is, even today the responsibility is with the mother and it should be shared between both parents. Why is the mother labelled as selfish and not the father.

I cried when her daughter's asked her to peel the orange for them. It's was the one moment we see them awed and respectful of Leda. Another small detail I enjoyed was the scene of her eating dinner at the bar and how they framed her between two empty stools, symbolizing her two absent daughters.

I had interpreted her taking the doll as a sadistic act, a way of riling up the kid, driving Nina mad, making Nina feel the same parenting anguish as Leda had, and in so doing validating Leda’s own feelings and life choices. So a sadistic act meant to assuage Leda’s guilt. Maybe that’s a stretch. Your interpretation seems more obvious and simple, especially given that she is repeatedly seen trying to care for the doll, clean it, buy it new clothes. But could be a bit of both.

so my conclusion: motherhood is not for everyone. and that's perfectly okay. just: 1) stop making women think they have to be mothers, 2) women, stop believing you have to be mothers, 3) don't ever take having children lightly. ever. if you decide to have children, be responsible for them. if you made a mistake, fix it. fix it, but don't let the children pay for it.

It's refreshing to hear a man praise a film with a female-centered story, writer & director while providing a thoughtful & accurate analysis.

I think the whole thing is a dream she has while coming in and out of consciousness on the beach before she dies. Her falling on the beach was the first scene of the film. The flashbacks are her memories flashing before her eyes. The holiday is a fantasy she is trying to construct but can’t keep free from her sense of guilt and regret. The rotten fruit, the loud noises, the falling pine cones, the invading family, the insects, all projections of the unhappiness in her own life. Everyone thinks she’s much younger than she actually looks which could be a projection of her desire to be young again. Nina is actually a projection of herself, which is why they have such a visceral connection. The doll represents her own damaged childhood. Her stealing the doll and trying to restore it even though it caused the little girl such distress represents the phase in her life when she is overcome by a desire to self actualize(an experience never granted her by her mom) at the expense of her girls. Leda’s own repressed childhood is illustrated when she catches her daughter drawing all over the undressed doll that had been passed down from her mom. As she throws it out the window, Bianca whimpers, “It’s mine” representing the girls desire for autonomy and the mom’s frustration in never feeling in control of her own body. When she does give the doll back, finally clean and well clothed (looking like a professor) her younger projection (Nina) is livid because the damage had already been done to her daughter who was now resigned to the fact that her doll wasn’t coming back. The scene where she is stabbed by the hat pin(projection of her mom) represents her own self loathing that she was no better than her mom, whom she despised, but instead passed down the generational trauma to her girls. (Stabbed in the womb) She also has fainting spells throughout the film which makes he believe she is dying the whole time.

I definitely can relate to this movie. My mother was similar to Leda. To this day our relationship is very strained. I have a daughter now, and I’m making it my mission to not repeat the same generational dysfunction.

As a young lady, I knew and saw how difficult motherhood would be. That's why I dedicated my first decade of adulthood to myself and the love of my life. We graduated, got our careers started, got married, travelled everywhere, and I decided i would only be a mother when I was 100% ready. We enjoyed those 10 years together very much. Now that we are in the parent stage, It is very hard indeed, but we didn't miss out on anything because we had ample time to do whatever we wanted to for years and years. We have our ups and downs, but whenever I feel overwhelmed, I can drop off the kids at their grandparents house for a day or more, so that I can get some rest! It's a balancing act, but i don't regret any of it at all. I see adults out with their parents all the time, they have lasting friendships and go out on holidays together, they respect and love one another, and that's beautiful and makes everything worth it. It won't be hard forever.

This whole movie can be summarised as the consequence of absent men. It made me question why absent men/fathers are not held up to the same responsibility nor are seen to be as 'messed up' as Leda. Although It revolves around the spiral of mother-daughter and woman-to-woman bonds through the complex shared experiences of women, the characters of men: absent husband, the old man living in Greece whose sons he hasn't been seeing, the Italian husband who is half-present, and the professor with who it never worked out, the boy who pursues an affair with Nina... the movie dives deeply into the lack of responsibility and repercussion men have, which when involving children, causes women to choose between motherhood and tearing at their own identity to compromise for the lack of the other half. It's the un-involvement of men that is so interesting, and the fact that Ledas behavior is similar to that of many absent fathers that stood out to me.

I think you are spot on. I'm a woman of 69 and I'm really glad I didn't have children. I think I would have become like Leda. That's scarey, and I am so grateful things didn't turn out that way.

I'm about to turn 45, never had children by choice, and growing up I was basically the primary parent in terms of care and emotional care for my 4 younger siblings. I just remember how exhaustiing it was. SO exhausting. I remember feeling a bit relieved when I was about 18 years old that my youngest sibling was getting old enough to take care of herself, and thinking that finally I'll be able to have some time to myself. I used to dream about having a moment to myself. Trying to finish studying at night while rocking my youngest sister to sleep - literally biology textbook in one hand, baby in another. Constant dreams of running away, but also this connection to my siblings that was stronger than most siblings that I know of. Now we're all adults and we're still close and there's less heirarchy - we're all adults now, I'm no longer the parent - and actually my youngest sister was the only one of us five that decided to get married and have children. There's one theme the movie touches on briefly that reminded me of a recent incident in my life: "YOU HAVE SUCH A HAPPY BABY" / "YOUR DAUGHTER IS SO WELL-BEHAVED!" We see that one of Leda's children is less "needy" than the other one. I think the movie is touching here on the differences in children and what this means without going too far down this avenue. I am reminded of a woman I met at the markets last year with a baby in her stroller. As we were talking, the baby kept grabbing my attention because of how pretty she was, how engaged she was (fearless eye contact) and the sense of humour constantly playing across the baby's face. The distinct lack of screaming even though her mother and I had a long conversation (probably about half an hour). I was trying to hide the fact that I was chewing gum while talking to the mother, then I looked down at the baby who was watching my face and imitating my not-so-secretive gum-chewing. I burst out laughing and said, "That's a very intelligent baby you have there - to take in so much at her age is uncommon. You might have a prodigy on your hands." She told me: That she hopes the child isn't a prodigy, because her sister has such a child and it's constant drama for the child and, most of all, the child's parent. "The other kids bully her because she leaves to go take advanced maths. She's always coming and going and her mother - my sister - is constantly preparing her for her different classes each day and figuring out where she'll be, trying to organize all of that because she doesn't have a regular schedule. And a kid with an unusual schedule is a killer, it takes all the energy out of you." I paused and wondered how honest I could be with her and realized we'd already bonded. "But your baby is more of an 'easy baby', I think? Is that right?" Then she unleashed all of this pent-up stuff. "Yes, and God do people HATE me for it. I keep hearing from everyone who's a mother that I'm so lucky to have an easy baby, and that when the next one comes I'll REALLY know what it's REALLY like... and this is from people who know I won't be having more children. Everyone knows, I've said it a million times, "I'm only having one," and it's like that makes them more angry. They'll say, "Oh but who knows, and I'm telling you now, your second one will be so difficult that you'll realize how hard motherhood really is"... and I'm like (makes a fed-up gesture)." I said, "They're jealous. They want you to feel as angry as they do about it, but they're not thinking of you, really." She enthused angrily: "YES!! It's like they want me to apologize for only wanting one child, and having a child that seems easy to them." This conversation has stayed with me and will continue to stay with me. I remember when we stopped talking when my mother showed up and she moved away and part of me thought, "Don't leave" because I had this bond with her, and I think she felt a little bit the same way. This movie reminded me of that conversation quite a lot, and your excellent commentary here also reminded me of this conversation.

Even other mothers judge moms. Oh, you're not breast feeding? Oh, you're not sending Johnny to this preschool? And if you decide NOT to have children, there is an assumption that you must be a selfish female. "Oh, how sad she is." If a child turns out to be a serial killer as an adult, everybody asks who the mom is. I'm calling BS! It's time for dad's to take at least 50% ownership of their child's mental & emotional well-being.

Thanks for this analysis. I watched the movie and didn’t really “get” it and I have been trying to analyze it myself. The way you broke it down gave me great clarity on Ledas behavior. I am a mother and this film unsettled me. I both felt empathy and anger at Leda for leaving her girls. Being a mother can be consuming. It becomes your identity. You will forever be a mother. Finding a balance and retaining you own identity, your essence, can get lost for periods of time. Those times an be overwhelming without support. Children need a village not just their mom. It is unrealistic the think mothers can do it all.

Great summary/analysis. I also thought it was interesting when Leda was on the balcony talking to her daughter and says "I'm looking out at the most beautiful....." and her daughter cuts her off/says she's gotta go, love you. Going back to your point on generational aspects and passing on attributes like selfishness. Which harkens back to when younger Leda was distracted or put off talking to them over the phone.

I loved this movie and I loved your assessment as well. I think it is so smart, (especially the explanation of why she stole the doll) however: She crashes a car, stumbles to the beach and collapses overnight, from the her crash injuries? Bleeding out from the hat pin? She wakes to move away from the tide coming in, yet she has an in tact phone in her hand, calls her daughters and miraculously discovers the perfect orange to peel “like a snake.” This tells me she is dying on the shore and as she waits to lose consciousness for good she hallucinates the orange and the phone conversation with her daughters….the guilt has killed her? Who knows, but I totally got the feeling she was dying…

I interpreted the ending as Leda dying. That’s why she peels the orange as a snake (a recurring theme in the movie), and has a lovely and heartwarming conversarion with her daughter (something she probably didn’t have, as we find out the first time she calls her). She was finally at peac and rid of guilt. This movie is brilliant in every single way! 10/10

Young Leda reminds me of my own mom when I was little. My mom was so overwhelmed all the time and exhausted. She worked full time and was a full time mom and homemaker because my dad was always working. I found this movie cathartic. Also - I highly recommend reading the book Regretting Motherhood by Orna Donath. We are often told as women that we will regret not having children, but it’s taboo to talk about the opposite being true as well.

Excellent analysis. One thing I would say is that, although I agree Leda may be an extreme example, Gyllanhall's statement that she couldn't imagine leaving her children is partially because she lives a privileged life and without a doubt has nannies and other professional help to allow her to have a fulfilling career away from her children and responsibilities to them.

I understand how she must be feeling, trapped, limited and stressed but when you make the choice to have children, you have to honor that. I’m the child of a neglectful addict mother and it was so unbelievably hard to watch her ignore her kids while they call and beg for her. It’s heartbreaking. Also I really admired your point about the grass always being greener and paradise not being what you hoped it to be. I was so confused with that in the movie but it makes so much more sense after you described it

My mother was a beautiful young woman like Leda. She hated being a mother and when my brother and I were in our teens she flat out told us her misery was our fault. She would vent her frustration with physical and verbal abuse and I would think, "When you are old you will have nothing." ...when we were 17, 18 she left us. She remarried the third time and her third husband left her 5 years later broken, worn out destitute. I did reconcile with her but it wasn't perfect. Her older son refused to talk to her. she died at 56 a lost and broken woman.

As a comparative literature student long ago I enjoyed your presentation very much. The movie, as a mother of three I understood and connected with all of this. I have generational neglect in my mother’s family, she left me when I was a year old, my dad was amazing and included his whole family in raising me. What a breathtaking performance all around!! Bravo!

I work on a team called out when someone is emotionally overwhelmed. Often a parent calls for their child, but when we get on scene it is often the parent that is overwhelmed. The depiction in this film captures the breaking point that so many of these parents deal with. Often the mother is the one left holding the bag, while the father is off doing his thing. Parenting is emotionally exhausting and I have know idea how parents do it. But please keep your grip and don't take it out on the kids. They are kids. If you need help ask for it, hell demand it.

Without knowing anything about this film, the opening scene reminded me of "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin, which is about an overwhelmed mother who tries to seek out her own happiness apart from her family but fails and ultimately drowns herself in the ocean.

The other day I was screaming and crying in my room. Only because my mother won't come to a festival with me. She has went with her sister and she even attends all programs held in name of my brother, but she has never attended any of mine. Her parenting has always been extremely abusive, frequent humiliation and insults and tons of other things. I have been reading works of unloved daughters, and one of the common theme is abusive mother's tend to look at their daughters as an extention of themselves and never as an individual alone. And this movie has a struck a cord in me which I can't really explain. Thank you for the explanation. It shone a light on bits which were relevant for us daughters to see.

This happened to my sister. She graduated with a masters in engineering then immediately had a child and became a stay at home mom, never traveling, using her degree, having a career, ect. She's only been a mother a year but already regrets it. She gave in to the expectations and pressure of her church telling her starting a family and raising children is the most important thing, and now hates how boring and monotonous her life is before she got to really experience anything and know herself. And she's only 24 and planning on having another baby next year. Hopefully she doesn't get overwhelmed like in this movie.

Cool analysis thank you! I first understood the fruit to be a symbol of children as the bible describes children as “fruit of the womb.” Leda’s obsession with peeling the skin perfectly could be a metaphor for her wishing she could have perfect children. Children who ideally gave her that space and allowed her to be a mother when she wanted to be. (Not that that’s perfect at all but to Leda’s character it is). Instead she had rotten fruit in her apartment and she throws them away rather than trying to work with them and eat the good parts. I haven’t read the novel and it’s probably a far reach. Regardless, I do love how interpretational this story is as motherhood is something most of us have witnessed and or experienced.

As a mother, I think we've all thought about what life would look like if we left everything behind (how often do men do this and no one bats an eye? (as the male hiker did)) but we also can't imagine actually doing it. This is why little breaks are so important and can really revitalize you as a mother. I have a child that deals with mental health instability and when I was actually able to take a day away, to spend time with myself and a clear head that didn't have to worry because someone else was holding down the fort, I was able to feel like a human being again. Had Leda had more support, the story could have been very different. Edited to add-the scene where she refused to kiss her daughter's finger was heartbreaking for me. I don't know what stood between her that she couldn't bring herself to do that in that moment.

That description of the "unattainable" mother profile, that was my mom to us, perfect. There are mothers that DO love sacrificially. They put their children first all the time, and they live up to their ideals and expectations of motherhood they chose for themselves.

What stayed with me - is your comment about feeling scared as a son and as man!! They says everything. I would really like to see a film which shows the reality about Men and how they are hardly involved in the upbringing of their children. The pressure, rules and expectations from women,…. It’s breaks my heart !!

I really enjoyed your analysis about the illusion of paradise. It was insightful to point out how Nina’s family contributed to the illusion and how there’s two sides to every coin. On the one hand, Leda adores Italian culture but is awakened by the cruel reality of its darker side. The same can be said for her relationship with her own motherhood. She adores her children yet can barely seem to come up for air at times. I would also like to point out how in the final scene with Nina, Leda said this phase she’s in “never ends.” I think it’s important to relate this to the “crushing” responsibility of having children. I don’t think anyone is ever ready to have children and there’s never really a right time to have kids. No matter what, the pressures of being a mother are present even if you have taken the time to enjoy your freedom. You can really see this in Callie’s character. She’s older, has been wanting to be a mother for a while, and seems ready for motherhood, however Leda comments in her naivety and hints at her experiencing the same hardships in the future. I feel like the movie is trying to recognize the inherent struggle of all mothers, young and old, and by doing so reassures this struggle as something natural and never ending.

Love your analysis! As a mother of 2, some days are very hard indeed and I do feel like a bad mother sometimes for having "limits" which I think is just human. Sometimes I look at people without kids with envy, remembering what it was like to have this kind of freedom. But however hard being a parent is, at the end of the day, I wouldn't change anything. It makes me think of another great movie I saw not long ago, C'mon C'mon, that rang so true to me. In the face of my own limits, taking about it with my kids, in an honest way, brings me much needed balance. I don't have to be a perfect mom 100% of the time, I can make mistake, I explain how I feel, say I'm sorry, do the best I can. I am a mom but I am also human.

As a struggling new mother, this film shook me to the core, im so glad I watched this. My daughter is 1 in 25 hours and I hope I can be the one to break this cycle. I'm going to therapy, im getting help and I will do everything in my power to do better

Hi! Great analysis! I believe you are 100 correct! I'm a mom of 2 toddlers with no family near me. My husband works so I stay home and watch the kids all day everyday. Even when I'm on my so called "break" my husband comes to me to ask for help. For little things. It's very frustrating! Sometimes I just imagine what I should have done before I was married with kids. I was too careful and had no fun just looking to settle down. I'm 33 and I always think, what if? Did I rush? As much as I would like to try to go through what my friend calls a"h0e phase", 😂 I cannot imagine leaving my kiddos. They can be annoying at times and I know it's shameful to say that but I love them more than anything. Anyways, thanks again!

I think it also means you have to take occasional moments for yourself, and actually do SOME things you want for yourself as a parent and person. You cannot lose yourself as a mother and forget you are still an individual. If you do, you are more likely to self destruct. My daughter is 9 and I can relate to Leda. Lately, I’ve been feeling the need to fly. But instead of wanting to just take off, I find those pieces of me and incorporate them into my life. And I take time to do things I want to do. It makes me a better mother.

Hey Lucas, Just finished the movie and was so happy to see your review only posted minutes ago. So much amazing insight with your themes I loved the video. The metaphor of the doll especially and how she picks and chooses when she wants to care for it as she did in real life. In a few short days I’m about to be a mother to a daughter, strangely I just happened to come across this film and have been hit so hard with the expressions and feelings in this film. To be honest it did give me a little anxiety after and moved me to a scary place of doubt and fear of what I have to come. When you described Maggie’s explanation of this film being the higher end of the scale it brought me some peace. Thank you for your video Look forward to following you more Aisha

Best review of this movie I’ve watched! Thank you for explaining so much in such short time. I feel exactly like these mothers. I probably wouldn’t leave my son because I love my husband and I care about my son’s mental health. I make extra effort not to show how pissed off I am, but I have this feeling in me, and I feel very guilty and alone, because most mothers talk about the love they feel. I mostly feel resentment because of the life I’ve lost. I’ve just thought about an explanation to the ending: she has died of bleeding and she “imagines” she’s happy talking to her daughters, saying she is alive (finally living away from the live she left, because she died).

I think this movie has many layers… but it’s ultimately just sad. What led to her decision to have kids in the first place? Was there pressure from society, from her husband? It’s something she can’t reverse… it is her forever prison. To think that someone who doesn’t feel like a mother would be put in this situation is a nightmare situation. She feels guilty for the children and gives them love when she feels like it but she is too much in pain from the prison she put herself in to even put them first. I feel for her because all she got to feel was guilt. Guilty if she stayed for losing her agency and surrendering to what is. Guilty for leaving because she would never be happy knowing she abandoned her daughters. She saw a reflection of herself in Nina but it was just a mirage, she wanted to give her a glimpse of what she had, then again selfishly… only to realise she has nothing to give anymore… not to others and not to herself… and she tries to numb the pain, driving recklessly and then calling for a place where she feels no guilt, her happy few memories with her gils

I LOVE your analysis videos. I really feel a deeper appreciation of this movie from your breakdown of many important things. Plus I finished the movie with a lot of questions and feel like I got a lot of clarity from your explanation.

I just found this channel, and I really do think it's the best film analysis channel on RU-vid. I really appreciate how you explain everything in such a simple and easy way. I would really love to see you try to analyze some older movies though. Maybe some Tarkovsky? Just a request. Anyways, keep up the good work.

Thank you so much for this wonderful analysis! I also think it’s interesting how fathers do things like this all the time but for some reason when mothers do this it just seems like it is 100x more cruel and selfish. I think it says a lot about the exceptions of men vs women when it comes to parenting.

Wonderful, thoughtful analysis. I really enjoyed your video. I just finished watching the film and as a mother it was so painful when it’s revealed that she left her children for years bc it seems an unfathomable decision, despite any challenges. It made me want to go squeeze my child. There were a lot of emotions in the flashbacks that I could empathize with, but that extra step to abandon her young daughters was such a shock. I appreciated you including that the director wanted to portray the extreme version. I was able to better wrap my head around the character and her behavior.

Thank you for this analysis! i really loved the blue motif that was present throughout the film (both Leda's and Lyle's blue shirts in their first scene together, most of her apartment being blue, the doll's original clothes, etc.) I felt like it was a subtle nod to Leda's guilt and sadness. Also the fruit appearing fresh in the frame where she first explores the apartment vs it actually being rotten in the next few frames was really good foreshadowing to the "illusion of paradise" theme that you mentioned.

Im impressed! Thank you for sharing

This is a profound film. As a mother of a daughter I found Ledas feelings relatable but her ACTIONS disturbing. Being a mother is the hardest job in the world and I think society puts too much pressure on women to become mothers when they may or may not have the skills or the persistence to retain that role. This movie portrays these realties in a tragic and beautiful way.

Exellent!! Loved your thoughts and analysis. Thank you!

Thanks for your thoughtful and sensitive comments on this film. As a mother, I absolutely identified with Leda, although I would never have left my child. It struck me, as I watched, that I had never seen the motherhood trope upended in this fashion, nor had I seen a character like Leda, who fell so outside what we all believe a mother should be. What a revelation Olivia Coleman is…

Thanks for that very comprehensive and thoughtful analysis of this film. I love your thoughts on the universality of the consequences of abandoning family members. Of course, that can apply to so many different kinds of family abandonment scenarios. I look forward to other reviews.

Thank you @Lucas Blue for the great summary and explanations and everyone else for sharing your thoughts as well. It's all so very interesting, might have to watch it again :D.

I was so very moved by this film. Outstanding observations.

As a stay at home father I definitely felt the pressure of being a "better" parent bc I stayed at home but also people having such low expectations because I'm a father. As if fathers aren't expected to do anything.

Wow! Great analysis!!

Wow! You did a great job with this analysis and explained things I didn’t understand.

Happy New Year, Lucas! This movie seems right up my alley.

I loved the way you explained the movie, breaking it down into components really works

I am a mom of two daughters who are now 18 and 21. I had them after age 30 - so I feel I am lucky to have done many things and exercised my wings before motherhood. But I have to say that from 28 on, all I wanted to be was a mother and have a family. That was a primary goal. Therefore, when I was able to raise my daughters full-time with just a part-time job I consider myself very fortunate. However, I did have friends who experienced more of that pull between their professional life and societies expectations of their role as mother. Some of them were very tortured because they had inner expectations of how it all SHOULD be… Versus the possibilities in actual time and space dimensions. Other moms I knew created systems where they were at work as much as they wanted and their kids Had various systems for care, and even though these might be criticized - both the mothers and the kids were very happy and all seem very well rounded and Balanced. None of these mothers I knew would ever leave their children, however some of them were extremely tortured By (mostly) internal demons. They may have had outside people fanning the flames such as spouses, in-laws,… But I basically feel like it was an internal feeling of not being able to do everything, all this said, I have to say that in the film - the way the girls act it out was typical in a situ where a mother who is absent and NOT giving them adequate attention. Because if you are a clingy mother and live through your kids, the kids are doing everything to get away more or less. If you are well-balanced with the kids, yes, sometimes they are annoying, but they are not nearly so clingy and attention seeking as all the girls in this film. It is very painful for me, as a mother, to watch these children unconsciously act out trying to be “seen in the world” Seen by the primary caregiver in their lives.. The most painful scene in the film for me was when the little girl got lost, and then she was found… And you can hear her crying in the background, inconsolable, as her mother is just gazing at Olivia Coleman and completely doesn’t even hear her child cries. That was very painful. Because as a mother, even I’m like, “go to your kid! “ That was the hardest scene of all for me because you just hear that plaintive cry in the background and the mother is completely oblivious. That seems to be very unnatural And hard to watch.If a mother checks out in that way and is just oblivious and falling asleep on the floor and just completely not present and that is a persistent presence then of course the kids are going to act out in extreme attention seeking ways. It is a vicious cycle I guess. And that is what is shown in the film to me more than anything. Because I have seen mothers who preferred to work part time, full-time, or whatever… And I have seen mothers who prefer to make their children and motherhood a full-time job… And as long as everyone is OK with her choices the kids seem to get along fine. They are flexible and resilient by Nature.They don’t act out like these kids in the film - saying through their actions: “ mom mom mom I’m here I’m alive… “ And they are almost punished for that. And that is painful to watch.

Wow what a fantastic analysis - thanks for the explain

I truly enjoyed your review and breakdown of this movie!! You did great job !!

Leda is the symbol of the failed expectations of women in general. “Mother” is the ultimate symbol of the impossible perfection the world puts onto women. It’s also about the “goodness” women are expected to embody. At one point Leda admits to the character played by Ed Harris that she has a mean streak. So we’re not shocked when we find out she’s stolen the doll. The doll is the symbol of paradise - and innocence - lost. PersonAlly, I didn’t love the film - though the acting was brilliant - because I read the novel by Elena Ferrante and felt it differently from the way the film portrayed it. I suppose that’s because the novel is more subtle and lets the reader fill in the blanks. I found the prose more beautiful than the cinematic version.

Lucas.. thank you. What a wonderful voice you have

I just saw this the other day and agree that it’s a fantastic movie. Thanks so much for the great analysis!

You are good at this. I am glad I found you.

Yeah, the ending can go both ways. Either she’s dead or… the way you said it. As in She really did call them and is hallucinating about the orange. They did say she came back for her daughter’s after all. She prolly fixed things with them and they are on good terms. Still odd that she’d have the phone though and the first thing her daughter says is “I thought you were dead”. To me that’s a big clue that she is. Why wouldn’t her daughter know about her trip that she went on if she was back in their lives. And didn’t she talk to one of her daughters earlier in the movie? Wouldn’t her sister tell the other sister that she’s ok?

Thanks much for posting this review. I was drawn but confused by the film. I now want to watch the film again. Very helpful in this regard. How specific choices I have made have collided with my own idealistic values as a mother. That collusion has been a challenge for myself, my 3 children, their fathers, and the family system .

Your video was very healing to me.

I haven’t seen this movie yet, but I really wanted to know more and found this review. Well done! Your words about being a son and fearing mothers could actually feel this way really stood out to me, because the answer is far too complex for a yes or no. It’s a yes and no. I don’t think there’s a more complicated human relationship than the mother-daughter. I cringe when I hear the word “selfish” to describe a mother’s desperation to escape her world. There are far too many variables in anyone’ life to place a qualifier on their actions, and the word selfish seems to be the chosen adjective for those outside looking in. I appreciate you asking for mothers’ perspectives. That’s pretty rare, so thank you!! Great video.

Very good. Thank you.

WOW! I am so impressed with your analysis of 'The Lost Daughter'. I am a subscriber!

Hey! New subscriber here. Your analysis re: the doll is so on point! I love how the film can serve both as a cautionary tale for women to reconsider the social norm that is "motherhood" as it is not for everyone AND for resentful mothers who must accept the consequences of leaving their children to, in your words, chase an "illusion of paradise." After all, Leda is the perfect example of a neglected, possibly abused, daughter. She's obviously mentally unwell. I also like how the ending is open for interpretation. I don't know if anyone's mentioned this, but Coppola used oranges to signify death in the Godfather series (another Italian reference, I guess) and so, the final scene where Leda peels a mysterious perfectly fresh orange while speaking to her daughters (also mysteriously together and excited to hear her voice when it was implied that only Martha would routinely call and check on her) on the phone is so disturbingly surreal to me, as if to illustrate that Leda could only forgive herself and finally find peace in death. The entire story is ironic to me and Leda saying she's "actually alive" could not have been more perfect imo. Looking forward to more from you!

As a mother I completely agree with your commentary. I have felt run down by motherhood and relish moments that I can get away however I absolutely love being with my son and I can’t imagine my life without him! ☺️

What about the constant focus on age? They all ask “how old are you?”

Thank you for the explanation. I couldn't figure it out - especially the title. This movie stuck with me. Very well done.

This was an excellent video! Very good analysis.

This was a great breakdown! 👌🏾

Great review 👍

Excellent overview. I raised 3 kids. Middle with autism. There were days I dreamed of escaping. So glad I didn't because they are all three wonderful adults. But I sure felt many emotions Leda felt.

Great video, great voice. Subscribed.

Aweseome review Lucas. I watched the movie last night with my wife and mother of two and was kept wondering, my initial reaction was dismiss it as a bad movie, but then I tought there had to be more. I concur on your themes, selfishness vs sacrifice and what those that mean to you realization as a human being. This tension is ever present for Leda and Nina. Like for all of us....

This is a marvelous breakdown, in every way. Thank you you!

I watched this movie because of a recommendation from a subreddit called regretful parents. I searched the movie on RU-vid and came across your channel, and I love it! I am so excited to watch the movies you reciew and then your enterpretations. ❤

Buen análisis! Me gustó la peli. Muy cruda y sincera. Excelentes actuaciones!

That was very enlightening, thank you! I like your explanation of the doll. It totally makes sense what you say.

This is an amazing explanation 🙌🏻

Very good Thank you.

Thank you for your thoughts. I enjoyed this movie a lot but I didn't exactly know what to make of the doll part so this helped a lot!

Absolutely BRILLIANT ANALYSIS buddy!!! You've changed the way I see this film. Subscribed 💯 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

thank you !!

Amazing! ☺️

Wow you summed this movie up perfectly. I’ve watched it 5 times already as I find it one of the most interesting and powerful movies I’ve ever seen. As a mother of 3 grown kids one of whom has 4 kids of her own now I can honestly say I did identify with how the young Leda felt at times about motherhood. My daughter is often tired and at her wits ends with her kids (my grandkids) and she longs for a life of her own and some time to herself. Having said that she is very much a natural mother, a skill she didn’t get from me. I had to work at being a good mother, the basics came natural to me but I had to work at the rest. It’s not easy being a mother, you lose yourself, your identity and often it feels like you don’t know who the hell you are. Yes Leda is an example of an extreme but definitely there would be many women out there that have done this and perhaps feel the crippling guilt Leda feels. I know I still feel guilt for decisions I made when my kids were young that in hindsight I regret. The thing is you do what you can and make decisions based on what you have at the time. Mothering doesn’t come with a hand book, although at times I wish it had. 🤨

Brilliant analysis btw.

Awesome!!!! I think you hit it all on the head ... my thoughts differ slightly at the end. My sister and I discussed the possibility of her actually dying or being dead on that beach. Finally alone, but able to stay connected with her true loves (daughters) from a distance in their most memorable activity---peeling the orange. She had to be dead because where the heck did an orange appear from? Where is the blood? She should have bled out by now. The book I heard Leda says to them she's 'dead'...the movie she says she's 'alive'.. so, yeah after life. Great job...thanks.

Yet again, you have outdone yourself in analysing this story. I have depression since I was a teenager but it wasn’t diagnosed until 2013. In 2007, I was in the throes of depression and had challenges being a wife and a mom to 2 daughters. During this time, I struggled with chronic fatigue syndrome and the thoughts in my head goes along the lines of “everyone will be better off without me” or “I’m just being a burden to everyone.” Hence I asked my husband to divorce me on multiple occasions. There was also a time when I asked for a trial separation from my husband and left my daughters with their father. I felt I needed the space to not be a mom or a wife that I believed I was fucking up. Somehow or rather, due to his maturity, he would play along with my request but would not bring it up when I was not experiencing a depressive crash. Thankfully, we are still married for 33 years now. I have been on meds since the diagnosis and although I am managing my condition well enough, there’s not a day that I don’t regret leaving my girls with their father, although it was just for 6 months and that I saw them everyday but only went back to my empty apartment to sleep. Mental illness is very different from a personality disorder. In Leda’s case, I see the transgenerational transmissions of many elements: ambivalent/disorganised attachment style, mental illness and exhaustion of being the only active parent to her daughters. Bless Leda and all the mothers who strive to be the perfect mother when such a thing does not even exist. I am a counseling psychologist for 27 years now, an adjunct associate professor and I am a huge fan of your work. Maybe we should consider a collaboration in the future. Stay blessed. 💜

Just watched The Lost Daughter and thought it was captivating, but a little confusing. Your analysis actually made the movie more understandable. Well done. I will be subscribing to you and look forward to more of your videos.

Really enjoyed that analysis thank you. I thought it was going to be one of Leda’s daughters who was lost, because her descriptions of her two daughters sounded like she was disguising the fact that one of them had died or disappeared.

This was an incredible explanation

Awesome summation of the movie!!

I just want to take a moment to admire your courage to take on this topic. If there was ever a topic riddled with hurt feelings-motherhood is it! So while I appreciate your analysis, I think your kind-hearted, curious, and open approach to this movie is my biggest takeaway. Many thanks. 🙏❤️

I had abuse growing up, mental and physical. I became a Christian a year or so before meeting my husband and had a really strong experience of being reborn and seeing my child hood and life at the time as an echo of what my parents went through when they were kids. When I got married and started having kids, there was a struggle there to abandon my independence for raising my kids, but I kept at it and I intentionally stopped looking to get a job outside of raising my kids, stopped spending time with people who encouraged that independence and really hunkered down in reshaping my views of myself and what my identity was with my home and family. I would have left if my husband had not stopped and made intentional changes in his life to support me. I needed him to stop allowing his mom and dad into our marriage, to understand I need breaks sometimes and need emotional support through this process of leaving behind my life before having kids. It really was a grieving process. We were blessed with 5 kids in 10 years and through all that I found that I could indeed have satisfaction, peace and rest while raising my children. I had to let go of my past self, accept my current situation and just embrace the growing pains that came with finding a new normal that included raising and nurturing and caring for my kids. I did/do struggle with anger with my kids, but instead of the way my mom would burst without explanation or connection, I express my anger with words to help my kids understand that I’m human and feeling that is Ok. We have to be the strong person in control of our emotions when I kids are losing it. We’ve got to also be honest with them when we need breaks. I tell my kids I’m having alone time or a break, and allow them to have screen time for a while. I now understand a bit better how my mom struggled and why she did some of the things she did to us. But I also know I don’t want to do what she did and I make intentional choices everyday to try to break free from any generational issues that I and my parents grew up with.