The Narcissist's Opinion 

This woman CONSISTENTLY distills even COMPLEX psychological behavior into CRYSTAL CLEAR explanations. She AMAZES me!!!!! Thank you LS, a million times, thank you!!!❤❤❤

And normal people understand how dangerous it is to put these people in a position of power.

Narcissist: "I don't like you." Narcissist: "I hate you" Narcissist: "You are so rude, and an awful person you know that?" Narcissist: "You are lazy too." *2 weeks later* Narcissist (busts open your door): "Hey Buddy! Oh pal! Oh good friend of mine that I adore! Fix this for me while I go skiing with the CEO, okay? Thanks. Byeeeeeee."

You can sum up a narc's opinion in 3 words: Only I Matter

Tips for arguing with a narc- don't. You aren't even presented in the conversation - you're just a means to an end - something to validate their internal echo chamber. You can have the same conversation five times but if the narc feels inner guilt and shame around the subject- then what they formulate becomes the only reality

They are exhausting. I suggest getting away from them if you can and if you can’t, limit your interactions and stop accepting their “truths”. All they are doing is self regulating through you when you accept what they are saying. Stop enabling them to do that. Leave them talking about their “facts” to the wind, not to you. You are wasting your life accepting or even entertaining their version of reality. The best thing you can do is turn your back on them and invest that energy into yourself. Who cares what they think? It means nothing AND YOU KNOW THAT. So leave the show. Dismiss yourself from the audience and go live a happy life.

To the narc, his "opinion" was reality and it wouldn't dawn on him to consider anyone else's viewpoint. People who didn’t share his views were "clowns." 🤡🤡

Little Shaman for President!! ❤

My narcissistic mother was very opinionated. She didn't really have anything meaningful to say. But she had to hear herself talk and blabbed it anyway. And, oh yes, she was never wrong. She also had to win every battle. Unfortunately, she lost the war.

So, you've met my mother, then. Thanks for this firehose blast of clarity.

Realize how quickly they scamper away wen the facts r overwhelming.

My narcissistic stepdad had to be right about everything

“If they are wrong about this thing then they are wrong about everything “. That is gold insight. That makes so much sense if you have lived with one. They fight for misinformation they come up with.

When a narcissist can take their opinion without any hard facts to back them up brought about by experience or otherwise and make themselves judge jury and executioner you know that person is someone you don't want to touch with a 10,000 foot pole.

Thank you for this loud and ckear explanation about these clowns

I remember the first relationship I had was with someone I realized years later was probably borderline. I remember letting his opinions get to me because it was the only way I could motivate myself out of a rut. Little did I know that the cost of valuing what he said to and about me would linger and hurt for years after. I do remember after a particularly cruel encounter with him, I was standing in a grocery store staring at ingredients in the baking section (I am a hobby baker) feeling pretty worthless and more stupid than I had ever felt. An older gentlemen wandered over to me and asked me what he needed to buy in order to make pancakes saying he had flour and milk, but didn't know what else he should get. I told him "leavening. you need a leavening agent like baking powder." He smiled and thanked me saying I had a "good brain." I hadn't had anyone be complimentary to me in a long time and his little, genuine compliment still serves as a reminder that if the people you keep company with are routinely devaluing you and making you feel low and you aren't a genuinely horrible person that it is them and not you that is the problem.

The narcissist gets to the point that you are aware what a relief

I'll never forget the night he was ranting and raging over something he believed he was the victim of (that had nothing to do with me). I was tired and just wanted him to stop, so I very gently pointed out that he was incorrect about a simple, verifiable fact. Well, he would have none of that! He kicked me out of his car, stranded me at 1am, and raced home to pack all of his stuff and move out. By the time I found my way home, he was leaving. Although he called to apologize the next morning, I vowed to never allow him to live with me again. I felt so unsafe knowing he was capable of blowing up our household and leaving me over something as simple as pointing out an incorrect fact. Now I know it's not that simple. At the time, I was so confused and felt like I had to always agree or there'd be hell to pay. Now that I am FREE, I know that is no way to live! The day he told me he hated my happiness and resented the sparkle in my eyes -- that was the day I was finally done.

This video is so true... They can defend their opinions so forcefully, even on topics that don't matter! I was once making a cup of tea at work. A narcissistic colleague came by and started bragging about how she would never use that brand of tea because their packaging is bad for the environment. It so happened I had the packaging right in front of me. It said it was 100% biodegradable/environmentally friendly. I pointed that out in a nice way, sort of like, 'You're right, but hey, look, I guess it is enviornmentally friendly, look what it says,' and she spent several minutes trying to convince me to trust her and not my own eyes. By that time I knew who I was dealing with and I didn't fight her. She lost so much time and energy over a tea package; that's insane.

She makes me laugh out loud because it just rings so true on a gut level. No complex psychological theories and jargon.

They cannot see anything outside their own interpretations.. 100%. This is why they always feel "attacked". For me, this is true for both his N mother AND his N self. As usual, nothing else matters except their own thoughts and feelings.

I had a life changing epiphany here. Probably the best one for me. You have to figure out where you are that day. Idealized or devalued. Treat it like the weather. It is what it is that day.

Narcissists are demons in training!

As empty and lacking as they might be, they can still make a mess of the rest of us. Proving what? a more sick ego trumps a less sick ego?.

It's my opinion that you ROCK! ❤

Wow this was insightful..they have to believe their lies at all costs, even if they don’t believe it themselves. They are so afraid of being wrong becoming delusional is actually acceptable to them.

Every relationship was like this.. to know that the only way I can be loved is an illusion. To be idealized into something I never was or never will be. Its difficult not to get addicted to that because I have never had love otherwise.. illusion or not.

Yay!!!!!❤ This channel changed my life years ago. I still find it relevant, interesting, and thought provoking.

You’re the best I’ve ever come across in understanding the mind of these people. Excellent! 💪

Listening to this again a year later. Music to my ears. Solid truth. And its absolutely mind-boggling how quickly and frequently what they consider ' facts' about a narrative can change. Every change or embellishment to a given narrative blows my mind. Theres no sense confronting them with the actual facts, or with how many times they have changed the story because they are convinced of their currently believed ' facts'.

Hoovering fits into the same equation. You honestly need to get so strong about your own mental clarity and reality about who you are (good and bad) that you don't get sucked in the wonderful or horrific ways they view you (depending on whether they are getting their way in that moment). It's back to the toddler trapped in an adult body. "You are the best mommy ever!" (Just got ice cream) "You are the worst mommy ever!" (Time to go home now). It's exhausting and dangerous, but silly.

Thank all the good spirits of the Universe(s) for the effort put forth in wisdom and truth from Little Shaman. This channel is a panacea for the epidemic of narcissism that plagues humanity. I'm looking forward to the evolution of our species. In the meantime, we can find inspiration and hope here.

I started seeing this pathology in a lot of social movement spaces. Particularly spaces relating to BLM. When I didn't agree with certain things as a person of color that went against the narrative, usually that POC folks are always victims no matter what they did which isn't true and context is important, I was attacked for it. I attacked their core identity which is the racial warrior or the great racial martyr. I had to remove myself from those spaces and even remove myself from the culture I come from because narcissism runs high and it is easy to be gaslit and sucked into the BS when those around you are living in a shared delusion.

Damn! Shaman, this is absolutely Bible truth, clearly and articulately expressed, objectively stated, undeniably accurate... This is essential narcissism distilled down into 20 mins! I was literally cheering while listening, it's so validating! Thank you, you nailed it!💯🎯🔥👏💣🙏

They can't see anything outside their own interpretation. Which is why my narc was justified in screaming at me when I disagreed with him. He was talking about a dream he had and I told him I don't think dreams mean anything. Because I wasn't agreeing with him, he went off on me. He started bashing me and things I have talked about. When I called him out for it he told me that I brought it on myself. His response was because of "something I did" " but I'm ignoring that to justify my behavior." I realized that he was responding based on what he INTERPRETED my words to mean but not what they actually meant or how the conversation actually was intended to go. If you read this post and my last post you can clearly see that this guy is completely delusional and a nightmare to deal with.

Every time I listen to one of your podcast I hear Jackpot bells ringing! You put things so eloquently and perfectly!

Oh my god. This video just triggered a memory I had with my narcissist about Opinions. We were talking about something that we disagreed on. He turned it into a debate as usual. It was something innocent that actually was an opinion. I think I disagreed with him on liking a movie. He then tore my opinion down and told me I was completely wrong. I told him that people can't be wrong about opinions. I THOUGHT that I was saying we both have the RIGHT to have an opinion and no one was more correct in liking or hating the movie. He then went on to tell me that's the most ridiculous thing ever. What if people have the opinion that it's ok to molest Children? What if people have the opinion that Hitler was right? Obviously their opinions aren't right, and therefore all opinions aren't right. Therefore my opinion can be wrong, unless I agree that it's ok to molest Children.. WAIT WHAT?? were talking about movies here.. So then I further explained what I already meant. I said, when it comes to subjective things like favorite things or liking a movie or a color, your opinion can't be wrong. His response, ohh so I own you so bad you have to change your argument just to get it to fit some ridiculous premise so you won't be wrong. Ok got it. Dude, all I'm saying is let's agree to disagree and everyone has a right to have preferences on something. I'm saying what I always meant. I just clarified it more because you introduced disturbed twisted logic to the conversation because I didn't agree with you. So I was the bad guy, he "owned me" and turned it into some huge thing because I disagreed with him and dared say that we agree to disagree. Completely unlocked that memory lol. Sad thing is that is like #10 on my worst interactions with him.

Very interesting point. My narcissist sibling obviously doesnt understand the difference between opinion and fact. She often uses the line, " thats just your opinion" or " Im entitled to my own opinion" when in a discussion where she doesn't even have any onterest in what the evidence and facts are. Good to know this just another part of the dynamics.

Spot on, as usual! Narcs don't have a baseline point of reference when it comes to their view of people. They see you as either "great" or "horrible", but cannot state an opinion about you to be of any value in between!

I wonder if I’m a narcissist sometimes. Maybe a covert narcissist. I’m so moody and can be such a hateful bastard over the dumbest things. Not controlling my emotions well. ALWAYS something that when I’ve had a day to think I realize my reaction or behavior and definitely my thoughts, are irrational, over reacting, usually my own insecurities and I see lots of projection coming from me too. I ruminate on the dumbest shit. I’ve always been this way but with different seasons where I was more or less this way, but I’ve never been able to just stop it all together. I sure would like to be able to get this under control before my son is old enough to see his daddy acting like a big baby. Obviously I’m aware. I want to change, and I’ve tried literally everything!…seriously everything, meds, meditation, drugs, psychedelics, EVERYTHING….except routine exercise. I’m active but I don’t make a habit of daily exercise. If I’m being honest, that’s the one thing I have NOT really committed to for mental health. But what else can I do? I’m not on drugs or suffering from trauma, I’m just kinda miserable, disagreeable, irritable, and insensitive sometimes. And I usually try to keep myself away from everyone I love so that I won’t hurt then or so that they won’t see me at my worst and judge me. When I’m ON! I’m ON! And bc of that I have lots of great friends and relationships. But I have to apologize a lot! My awareness and sincere regret is the only reason anyone can stand me. But what can I do to change? Why can’t I have joy all or even most of the time? I’m so pessimistic on the inside and my self talk is shit. I know all this but can’t or won’t change it. Why? Do I like it or am I addicted in some way? How can I fix that?

Love this video. God Bless you little shaman and everyone who has been horrifically abused by a deranged narcissist.

Goddamn, you are just FUCKING AWESOME., Little Shaman. The info & insight, just wow, man.Your videos help so much. Thanks a bunch. Love from Australia 😀

My friend's wife claimed that the Oxford dictionary was wrong about a definition 😂.

It’s no wonder the Pandemic was so hard on narcissists that’s worked from home, away from their usually supply. It’s likely what broke me out of my own version of the fantasy and helped me really see how ridiculous his lies/opinions were. There were strange times when he spoke to me in the third person and I really felt I was in the presence of an adult-sized toddler.

I only have 4 words “You Know Your S_IT”. I really mean that. If RU-vid could only have one person explaining this disorder, it would have to be you.

My sister once scolded me for not allowing others to state their opinion. This was after she stated something as fact (regarding Trump, of course) and I countered her with truth. What she really wanted was for me to change my opinion to hers, which, being a sane and educated person, I was unable to do. Her reality is so warped and that affects her opinions, which are equally warped.

"truth is singular. It's versions are mistruths" David Mitchell in Cloud Atlas, 2004.

I can't thank you enough for the insightful explanation and the wonderful revelations, Ms. Shaman. This is truly a mass puzzle turners for myself as I have wondered so much about all the confusing dealings, unbelievable interactions, comments, and yet these things kept on going day in day out. Have a wonderful day, Ms. Shaman and God bless you abundantly 🙏🏻🎉

For some narcissists I’ve dealt with, yes, I knew that, while I may have certain things they admire or want, it was more about convenience and me being in the wrong place, at the wrong time. That they would’ve latched on to anyone or either did or who they perceive has more than themselves. But, for them, as my neighbor had said when I told her no to being her free caregiver, that it would’ve been “convenient”, that I was a convenience. A convenience as a daughter to my mother and a convenience as a neighbor and a disposable one, at that. An appliance. That, what could I possibly be doing with my own life, including earning a living, that would prevent me from existing as a convenience? They are also expert at twisting reality. It’s not that I don’t understand the sad reality of their needs, where they may be in a situation where they really do need help, whether it be medically or financially either. It’s that their reality consists of making me a villain, for not undoing my life, to ensure their needs are tended to. That, as an example, if they sincerely believed that they were due to sit, watch TV, eat and spend all their money, that their reality is that the results become my fault, because I won’t fix it all for them. I am, then, everything from indifferent, to unkind, to a narcissist. The unfortunate dynamic of it also, is that they and outsiders don’t consider history. Only what their target is not doing for them now, topped off by everyone, including the narcissist, feeling that the best outcome, would be for them and everyone else, should go on with their lives, while the target carries the entire burden of the narcissist’s decisions or lack thereof. I can also see they want this dynamic so very bad, that I can feel, without even looking at them, that it’s like they’ve stepped on a live wire and that is outside of the practical, real life consequences of me saying no and leaving. They’ve lost on many levels then, because it’s what they may have needed on a real life level, but also within the complexities of a narcissistic mindset. That I was an object, that jumped up and turned into a monster, by merely leaving them with themselves. It is a double bind, for sure, however. Because my knee jerk is to fix problems. I always have, whether it’s cars or a process at work or my own personal problems. But, picking up on these red flags, patterns, and understanding better just what I’m looking at, other than the fact that they will present you with what might inevitably become a life ending problem, I’m out.

I literally just prayed for an answer regarding some thing a narcissistic family member did. I was debating on if I wanted to say something about how it hurt my husband in my feelings I saw this pop up in my suggested videos, and here is the answer! Thank you little shaman!!!❤

Once again little shaman hits it out of the park

You are 💯 % correct. I experience this from him TO THE LETTER!!!!! Thanks for being there for us, sister Cyn!

Hi guys, My partner has this in the worst form. Everything is a discussion and gaslighting is daily done. I wonder why she never reads any books or papers to expand her horizon. It all makes sense now. She is protecting herself against new ideas which may differ from her own and that would shatter her world.

What messed with my mind was when my narcissistic ex would gaslight me and I would say, “You’re gaslighting me and being emotionally abusive,” and she would say, “Just because you FEEL like I’m emotionally abusive, doesn’t make it true.” So, she would try to use this “Opinions are not facts” school of thinking to support her own narrative. Isn’t that a mindfuck?

Brilliant

They need to marry their own fake reflection!

You are neither as good or as bad as other people (especially narcissists) say you are. Good info as always in this podcast!!!

You’re on fire with this one little Shaman! Keep this information coming!

Thank you. 🦁

Thank you so much.

Just superb 🎉 , superior knowledge on the matter. Thank you

Crazy People.

Opinion: Best episode yet!

Your work product is Excellent!! Thank you :-)

It's mind-blowing how insightful this is. Will revisit for sure. TY

Yes this is the #1 problem I've had with a couple narcs in my life. One guy wanted to resort to fisticuffs to prove his opinion was right. I showed. the same guy proof an opinion he was dead wrong about and he said it didn't mean anything and tried to debunk my proof and make excuses.

Thank you for always hitting the nail on the head - it is validating and healing beyond words. No one does it like you, sister! The time + effort you put into your content is so clear, thank you 💜💜💜

You are the best wish I found you many years ago

Wow. Just, wow 💯

Thank you so much. This was perfect!

So true about the positive images being incorrect

Little Shaman, the best video I have ever heard. This clarifies so much. I am, a surscriber. I love you so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It’s almost as if narcissist have a way of self repairing themselves just like a self repairing tire. They patch themselves up with their false self despite the damage and destruction they cause. They spackle their wound and after many years their exterior is nothing but covered up cracks that become very fragile if not brittle with age. On the outside they look healed but in reality it’s just a cover-up.

There is no way to Deal with that. Just be selfaware and stay in Your own Self!!!

Brilliant!

I know so many people who need to listen to the Little Shaman. This lecture in particular because no matter where we go or what we do one always encounter these toxic personality types. It can be such a drag. On the flipside they are not so hard to spot, just have to pay attention. And once you know you go. Peace!

You are the best (not idealizingbyou lol) but my fav narcissist specialist. I've been listening to you for years.. thank you for your knowledge!!!!❤

I listened to you, Little Shaman, some years ago and didn't like it much. Now, with some more perspective on narcissism, I really get what you are saying and I appreciate the unique perspective so very much. Fascinating! Thank you!

Very well put.

So true. Esp. around 16:00 minutes. They don't know you or perhaps "they think your faking too". They "think" that you know that(that your just pretending). Ain't that probably what it is?

Thank you for addressing narcissists as "they" and not "he" like most of these types of videos by others.

Can you PLEASE do one about the difference between defending and explaining? They can be CONVINCED that seemingly neutral actions are evil and malicious.

Thank you fior this

On the point!

Oh my heavens! One of the best videos you've put out there. Once again, Bravo!

Outstanding video! Thanks.

Nice to hear from you again ! From time to time it is important to listen to your conclusions ! Greetings from Germany 😊

Little Shaman no holds barred -- bringin' it hard. Easily one of the Top-3 lectures in the Little Shaman repertoire. I'm hooked

Omg the bitter irony of their diabolical twisted mess. I was literally laughing out loud for how true this is of the absurd 9 years I went through this. 😂😢

Wow, this is so understandable..Thanks very much.

Probably one of your best videos

You are soo on point again!! Thank you soo much 🙏

This has given me life today. Thank you for this ❤🙏

You always clear things up, thanks so much

My last partner was like this, and was very "political," altho I feel that he used politics and a certain cable news network to argue and berate me about a certain politician, and I was truly shocked at the garbage and opinions hew spewed out at me in the name of "facts." His 'facts' were what the popular news hosts said (opinions) and was not willing to look at data, describing everything that didn't agree with what he was saying as "fake news." He was completely intolerable after a while, as it felt more like wanting to argue and fight than having an open minded discussion about different view points. This is a very prevalent phenomenon these days it seems. You have described something very important to look into further.

This was so helpful, I feel so trapped into putting weight into what the narcissist says thinks and does. I take it all so personally and I want to get to that point where I understand it fully, like how you say near the end of the video about once we understand what's going on it won't affect us anymore. It's hard to fathom how someone can behave one way and in 10 minutes behave another way and have totally different feelings, yet I see it firsthand and it boggles my mind and I just take it all personally. It seems a lot more sick than I ever knew. I want to separate myself from them, I don't want them to be like the parasite I feel they are. It's life ruining dealing with these people, and I want to believe they are the toddler I shouldn't be listening to. I feel like I'm at the very beginnings of the next stage of understanding the narcissist. I want to heal and stop being in pain all the time over essentially a toddler. I take everything they say and do and am in pain.

Thank you Lil Shaman. You always hit bulls eye for me. Can you please make a vidoe on what steps can an alienated parent do to help the situation? I am really suffering right now.

Wow!!!! This is so spot on 😮 I checked off every statement made here against the BS and behaviors of my estranged soon to be Ex- “husband “. Thanks!! This was awesome

Needed you hear this tonight, thank you 🙏🏽

You just described 4/5ths of my family in Kentucky