How is this 'sitting with the mech pilot' different than dissociating from my body and/or emotions? If I'm a person who's had alexythymia, is it ok for me to do this meditation?
If my near-deathexperience is anything like what he's talking about, it is actually very different than dissociation. My experience with dissociation had me feeling cut off from everything, but in the flat- lined state, I felt like I was part of every living thing. I had no questions or concerns. I simply felt connected.
simply Gold. I have a Q: what's the difference between self-awareness and ego? is it the mindset? by mindset I mean that you see an action/thought only as an action/thought and not as a part of self.
This couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I feel like I'm at an inflection point in my timeline, and "inaction" is my greatest and most consistent enemy.
I really feel you. For me it actually came right at after I had a meltdown from a combination of work stress and expectations and going off adhd medication. It also came right at a time of some time off work which hopefully will give me the time to rebalance myself as well as make some big decisions about my future. This video may yet be a major factor in those decisions.
Same here! I've been trying to decide a major for so long and still haven't decided yet. I'm to the point where after this semester I'll have enough credits to graduate but not enough for any specific major and I'm super frustrated and want to just move out into the wilderness and live off of the fat of the land
Sure I’ve got regrets and blame myself, but I regret nothing more than finding a new good thing which I hadn’t done/tried/even known about before that point, and I always wish I had discovered any said thing earlier than I did.
My brother you just found a very fancy way to say “I am lazy” Definitely stealing this one. It might confuse my loved ones into thinking I’ve made positive changes
I'm also going through serious issues too. The greatest partner I ever had split up with me, and I'm working on my dissertation for my PhD. Im incredibly negative and have made little progress on writing in over a year now. This inaction is coming from feeling inadequate, likely from COVID. And it has lead to a hugely pessimistic outlook and I've become far more self centered. I really do need more help than I have already, but this video helped that my mind is something I have more executive control over. And meditation is part of that key.
I’m experiencing the adventure of old age. I retired and gave up my identification as a college teacher that gave me status and meaning. I gave up quick thinking and speaking. Then I gave up beauty. One of the worst things I gave up was physical strength, flexibility and abundant energy. And then there’s the loss of future time. I want to go to law school-oh wait-I’m 73. All this time my poor ego is wondering who I am. Luckily I’ve discovered I’m somehow still me. 😮
Wow, this gives me chills. It’s still the same you observing this life. You used your young body and mind to experience this world, and now how will you use your older one? It’s an experience that will be unique to you. But it is entirely you. :)
Imagining your body as a mecha you control is pretty intuitive and straightforward, but imagining your mind also as a mecha that you learn to ride and control is a genius analogy. This concept made a lot more sense, thank you! Also the idea that there’s another me controlling the mind mecha is kinda freaky. Where does THAT “self” come from, and is there another thing above that controlling that?
I think that 'other pilot' is actually heavily affected by our environment, education, adaptation, mental illness, mindset, habits etc. Which is why the term auto-pilot exists because we let life flow on its own. Initially, 'controlling yourself as if you're a mecha' sounded kind of like sociopathy to me but now that I rewatched what he said, I guess its more like gaining more control over yourself/your life because so many of us are driven by negative feelings to carry out certain action/inaction but we don't know why and how we feel that way.
@@FullMetalFan4life Thanks, I understand now. I think this mecha practice is tied to spirituality more than I thought. And that's something I struggled with myself for most of my life. It's very difficult for me to see, feel, acknowledge myself beyond my physical body,feelings, and actions. That's probably why I am heavily influenced by my environment and other's judgements because I don't have the core self within me if that makes sense. It definitely sounds freeing but it almost feels like, to me, seeking or creating something that's non-existent in the first place.
about "that" other part of yourself, theres this great channel called Eternalised on youtube which covers some Jungian concepts, which include the shadow, the persona, the personal archetypes, etc. it seems like the mind is a lot more complex and nuanced than just our conscious thoughts, and one example of this in play is dreams, because it's not something we can conciously control most of the time, but it's a product of our mind. The shadow is the part of yourself which you're unconscious of, and this can include negative characteristics, but also potential inside yourself. there's also general concepts and archetypes which all humans have inside themselves, like familial systems and etc. pretty cool stuff actually
Buddhists have called the self behind ego ātman. The Chāndogya UpaniṢad states that the ātman is "without decay, death, grief." The Bhagavadgītā calls the ātman "eternal … unborn … undying … immutable, primordial … all-pervading." I associate this concept with the ideas of pan-psychism. Consciousness is fundament to the universe. You cannot get 'behind' the atman to observe it's scope. Nothing controls it. It doesn't act. It is the foundation of everything - The observer who collapses raw quantum potential into a physical universe. Why there is 'something' instead of 'nothing.' It is everything's experience of itself, of which we experience a filtered slice. It is the part of ourselves that is one with God.
0:00: 🧠 The neuroscience of living life without regrets and the different forms regrets can take. 3:03: 🕰 The fear of regret is rooted in the limitation of time, which is tied to the fear of death. 6:09: ✨ When people die, their sense of self dissolves, leading to a feeling of peace and connection to others. 9:17: 🧠 Ego death, experienced through psychedelics or meditation, can lead to a sense of peace and improved mental health. 12:19: 🧘 Dr. K discusses how identifying with the ego can lead to pride and insecurity, and how disidentifying with the self can bring peace. 15:10: 🧘 The yogis discovered that our true self is separate from our ego and can be realized through meditation. 18:04: 🧘♂ The Mech pilot meditation helps disidentify from the ego and realize that the things we normally think are us are actually objects for us to act on. 21:34: 🧘 The more distance you can take from yourself and sit with your experiences, the more chill your life will become. Recap by Tammy AI
This is one of the most eye-opening things I've heard in quite a while.... Thank you for this. I am saving this to come back to as frequently as I need to.
5 months late but that reminds me of a quote in Avatar "Pride is not the opposite of shame but its source, true humility is the only antidote" - Uncle Iroh
I mean it depends what you did really. There's stuff I'll regret forever, but I get what you mean. "Shooting your shot" so to speak is something you should always aim to do and those are the things you'll regret not doing. Missed opportunities, missed experiences etc. are better terms for that quote maybe.
@@user-yx7qx7hu4g exactly mate, I regret ever falling into pornography addiction and now suffer from ED in my early 20s. I wish I had never done it. I wouldn't have developed f**ked up fantasies and viewpoints. Sometimes its better to not do something.
I agree but I have massive regrets about both. I made some unnecessary choices which left me deeply wounded and hurt my life in ways I can’t ever take back, after working so hard to even get that choice in the first place. It sucks
I don’t know if you read these, but as someone in their late 20s with very high functioning bipolar, thanks for talking about men’s mental health without any sort of misogyny. It’s hard to find people catering to a male audience who actually care about mental health and don’t just hate women/feminism
That's what I am building into my business model right now bro. I want to help as many men as I can with my life experiences without taking shots at women because they aren't the issue. Both men and women suffer from the same issues, they just impact us differently at times. I hope you are doing better in life now man!
While his content is meant for everyone, his audience is primarily male, and the environment feels like a refuge for men to work on themselves without being judged. Even though your comment seems well intended, it could make people feel like you're placing some kind of moral judgement on them. In these online spaces, men are very wary of anti-men rhetoric, so try to consider that when making comments like that.
@@moomin8470 just because I feel like my struggles are invisible to a lot of people. Only a few people I know IRL even know I’m bipolar and I don’t really talk to them about it much. I have an engineering degree, a stable job, hobbies, a few close friends…. I’m very lucky and I still want to die half the time. It’s just nice to feel like someone actually cares about my condition and isn’t just using mens mental health to push an agenda
It really sounds similar, except in this case it's intentional,. As someone expierencing some depersonalization, having control over it feels like an amazing idea. There are times when I want to be in the moment and connected to my self but there are also times when this detachement comes in handy.
I really don’t understand how removing my ego by disconnection like that will help me have less regrets. I lost a really close friend last year because I had a lapse of judgement and disconnecting like this won’t help me heal. I miss her constantly but it really feels like you just showed us a meditation technique and said it’ll fix our ego because of “I” in “I failed”. No man I want to choose a career I’ll enjoy and won’t regret and I can’t just look back at the years wasted with no ego and somehow not feel connected. The only true currency in life is Time and I gave the most precious part of me for something that I could never look back on and feel okay with.
It won't happen immediately and it'll either take some traumatic event (as it did for me) or a lot of focused exercising to do it but eventually, disconnecting from your ego will let you look at life, time and your actions more neutrally. That doesn't mean you won't care about the choices you make. It can actually help you make the right choices now because they don't affect your sense of self as intensely as they did before. You will likely know better what you want, should and need to do and you won't feel hesitation about pursuing whatever those things are. And if you fail, it won't hurt as much as it did before. Hurt is what holds us back the most. What we should do is learn from hurt, not let it dictate our choices completely. Time will never stop flowing. Even disconnected from your ego, you will still be able to rely on the experiences of the past to guide your future actions but if you're smart about it you won't let them hold you back as they might do right now. I won't make promises about reaching happiness this way. Even though I've been able to do this to an extent, I'm still not mentally healthy when it comes to certain things that are tightly tied to my ego. But the more you can let go, the more freed you will feel. And a person feeling free is capable of much more than a person feeling imprisoned, especially if it's by their own mind.
When I was younger, I thought the recognition of life's short would enable me to enjoy my life to rhe fullest. But now it's the determination to enjoy the present moment as if I have infinite time that makes me happier
i watched this earlier. i don’t comment much on your videos, but i’ve watched and taken so many notes on them ever since i found your content. i’m at such a low place in my life, that i probably think about ending it dozens of times a day. this video in particular was so helpful. thank you for trying to help people. i really don’t know if it’s enough to help me, but it feels like it does, at least a little. so thank you. even if it’s too late for me, i know that the things you say and do help a lot of people, and that makes me happy.
I just want to let you know, I had been lowest point of life 3 years ago, dropped out of college, didn't really accomplished anything. However, I am truly thankful I found out Dr.K. His content really helped make through my darkest time. Now, I am happy with my current life, working in NGO to help people to achieve their dreams. Now and then, I come back to watch his content to learn more new stuff. More importantly, his content helps me to find my true self and peace. I hope you feel better.
Now it all makes sense. I had several years of regretting failure, at some point I had something along the lines of what is explained here, certainly not ego-death, but a noticeable ego-reduction. Been waaay happier since.
Dr. K, more like this please!! Particularly relating to the self and what it is and how it relates to (physical) matter. I want to understand what it means to be alive and I feel like I’m so close but it’s hard to put it all together! I think having visuals like drawing on an iPad could help too, that’s helped me in your videos a lot in the past! Thanks a lot for this!
Psychedelics helped me experience ego death (was trying to fix depression and was desperate). Had all that feeling of being one with everything and nothing. As I was starting to come down a bit from the height of the trip, I would taste bliss, and it would disappear as soon as I focus on it or try to chase after it. Prior to the full blown ego death, it was an extremely emotionally difficult trip. I experienced absolute nihilism. I learned that nothing truly mattered. And it hurt me so deeply for nothing to matter. No matter how much I shift my position, or rationalize, or desperately search for answers, it was so deeply uncomfortable, lonely, hopeless, meaningless. The sorrow deepened further as I struggled harder from it. At one point, I was brought to my knees emotionally, and "surrendered." I tried to be okay with the idea that this is what is. I finally faced and just...accepted the pain. I remember that was when I finally surrendered that my sense of self started to dissolve and thus my ego death began. I've been trying to figure out what the ideal state/characteristics of the mind is when sober. I did not realize that I had been doing the mecha meditation for a while now, so my daily experience is basically me watching myself do things, and be amused at how this consciousness can watch and have tug of war fights with the mind; how it experiences the joys and sufferings of the mind, etc. Like while I'm at the height of my anger, I have this parallel experience in my mind being chill and watching it unfold while eating popcorn and finding humor in the situation. However, there was a point in my psychedelic trip where instead of a mecha piloting from a computer station at some bunker; it was me piloting the mecha of my body Gundam-style. I was really, really in tune with everything in my body. Felt like time slowed, and I was moving through water but without resistance. It was like I was a child spirit that was able to pilot a body. My mind was clear, without baggage. Each breath was cool, and filling. I was present, filled with curiosity, wonder, and a sense of gratitude. I was not preoccupied with the silly concepts we burden ourselves on a daily basis. The experience was similar to the state of "flow." It seemed to me that my sober mecha practice is a bit dissociative compared to the hands-on mecha practice I had while tripping. I kept wondering, if my Gundam-mecha experience is something we can do sober and what may be considered to be the ideal state of mind. Little note: post trip I came to realize that "nothing matters" is okay; as what matters is something that is dictated by whatever instance of consciousness that is experiencing it. You yourself dictate what matters, to YOU. And so my journey to figure that out began and did ultimately help me with my quarter-life crisis depression.
Sometimes I dissociate and depersonalize at times I don't expect where I don't feel connected with myself, my body and mind. Just feels like meditation but without my consent
Last year I experienced short term memory loss (for 40 minutes or so) where I could not remember anything at all, some of the things mentioned about how it felt like dying sounds very relatable. Since I remember everything from the experience I can say that it was the most freeing 40 minutes of my life, with no regrets, unable to remember what has happen in the past and the future.
Yesssss let's talk about death and regret!!! It's the one thing, the absolute FEELING of regretting our lives and time on earth, that we spend our entire lives avoiding and refuse to sit with this feeling. We double down so hard on out decisions no matter how good they are because we don't want to regret our lives so much. We're so caught up and worried about doing something wrong with our limited time on earth that we literally forget to remember and enjoy the moments we do have. We have no idea when we will die, it could happen at any moment, and we live our lives assuming we will die one day when we're old that there's always time for something later. But truly living without regret is to know that if I were to die today: knowing that this is what I did to the best of my experience. I lived and experienced the beauty and heartbreak of life and I was alive and every moment in my life: as a general collective of everything I've experienced all at once, was good. Sometimes I feel like that moment in the Barbie movie where Barbie is like "do you guys ever think about dying??" Which is like the one thing I want to think about and explore. It's the one thought that always plagues our minds that we're not comfortable talking about with people and it's a shame because this is what every single person genuinely needs more than anything else: coming to terms with the fact that we will one day die and that our loved ones will own day die. And you can come to terms with this. I'm so glad that this video is really touching on the concept of death. Death is so hard and so difficult to talk about because not everyone is ready to face it. But it's the one topic: the absolute one thing that makes every single person have something in common. And it's the most worthwhile thing to talk about and come to terms with.
I remember during a very stressful and desperate time I looked at myself in a mirror and felt that my body is something separate from my self. Now I use the Dune mantra (Fear is the mind killer) when I have anxiety - I kinda relax into the anxiety by perceiving/consciously feeling it. I think it has the same idea of separating yourself from your emotions by the subject-object divide. I need to try this on my ego.
"Dying Unto Oneself" is actually the first thing Imitations of Christ covers too. When I practiced that every morning, I noticed my anxiety diminished if not went away altogether (it comes back, but it's easier to swat away). Really cool that you explain the science behind that here.
I always love when different sources of ancient knowledge / philosophy converge together like this, despite differing fundamental beliefs. You don't need to believe in everything that catholicism, or buddhism, or hinduism preaches to realize that they all have important lessons for you to learn if you take the time to listen.
The concept of ego-negation plays a key role in the cosmology of Jewish mysticism-“Bitul Hayesh.” I think the Sufi Mystics in Islam have a similar concept too.
I appreciate this one for sure. I've had a death experience, and a couple near deaths after the initial one. My personal experience of life overall has been chaotic. The feeling of relief that death provided is something I; for years, had a strong connection to post-death experience. The video had parts for sure that helped me not feel so alone in those feelings. My death experience and the years of learning and hurting after; really helped me personally understand how to have and cultivate love regardless of circumstance. Taught me a lot more then I give credit for. Thank you for the video, Alok. I needed it.
At this point I feel like I am more informed than my therapist, because I am sharing with him all this Harvard quality bits of knowledge. Thanks Dr. K 🙏🏻
@@BillyOrBobbyOrSomething I don't know the reason for holding therapists up on this weird pedestal. I mean sure, if you manage to find a really good therapist, you should listen to all their recommendations. But just like a plumber can be a bad (or mediocre) plumber, a mechanic can be a mediocre mechanic, a therapist can also be a mediocre therapist. It's entirely possible for someone who studies cars to become better at the job than a mediocre mechanic, even without taking it up as their main profession. The same is true of psychiatry or plumbing or literature. Just because someone does it as their main profession doesn't mean they do it well.
@@ofkgjsl Well it’s just that your therapist studied for 6-7 years to get professionally licensed and then afterwards has spent years worth of real world experience dealing with other peoples psychological problems. They’re also trained to be neutral observers which is something that’s exceptionally difficult if not impossible to do inwardly. Not to mention that your therapist is there to provide analysis and guidance for YOU specifically. Dr. K makes videos for millions of people at once.
@@zetaforever4953 brother if you think psychiatry and car repair or plumbing are comparable fields of study you’re missing a major point somewhere. Sure, you COULD study as much as your therapist or psychiatrist has, which would take anywhere from *four to twelve years* respectively. I’m laughing my ass off if you really think more than .0000001% of people are doing this… You’d also miss out on all the hands on training exercises and personal guidance that they receive along the way by “doing it yourself” instead of going to school like they did. No real way to replace that You’d also have 0 experience with how to analyze and formally diagnose somebody in action, which is a very different beast than just “understanding how it works on paper”. Be as delusional as you want but I don’t think you even grasp the difference between therapy and psychiatry in this context because you’re using them interchangeably and they aren’t. There is NO weird pedestal. I’ve had shitty therapists too. There is only common ass sense brother
Speaking of those who have passed on, I often meditate on those people, and I allow myself to converse with them. I make myself familiar with what they were good at, what their dreams were, and what unfinished business they had. If there are any intersections with things I am striving for, I'll make that person my patron for that particular thing, and see that kind of thing through for them. Everyone talks about "finding your why". For many religions, that might be a god, a saint, or a prophet. A more secular alternative would be those we love.
this is like the amalgamation of how I've been needing to grieve my father's passing, thank you for this comment, I hope you find your ways around this life fellow commenter
In my opinion that stuff can be good for closure in the same way that religion can be but I feel that it's a crutch being used. As long as you don't go full-on super religious swearing up and down that you know for a fact that you are correct then it's all good. Having had people pass in my family and close to me I've seen other love the ones Have their grief exploited by those who claim to talk to the dead or what have you for a fee.
Can you please make a video about inner monologues. It just blew my mind to find out that not everyone has an inner voice. How do people without an inner voice think and reflect on their actions? And shouldn't that be the first question a therapist should ask so that he/she can understand how the patient processes thoughts and emotions?
You are literally saving my life. Stuck with depression and a 230 lb frame at 5'8” as a result of growing up with an abusive, narcissistic father, I associated my weight with my identity for so long. Hyperegos were all I knew and thought I was a life failure because of that. I fucking love the the mech pilot theory and always wondered how people can a maintain healthy weight despite parts of the US being set up to work against that. One of the best pieces of wisdom you gave was about the cancer patient. Meditation (and weed lol) have truly truly helped with cultivating the mech pilot theory and this video just gave me the words to materialize this. Never stop putting out content. You’re saving people from their minds one person at a time.
Another very interesting fact: there are reports about soldiers in war, that suffered grievous wounds and had to be treated on site. Some didn't ask for or outright rejected anesthetics. Not because they lost feeling but they simply didn't care about the pain. They just seemed OK despite what that must have felt like.
This sounds like the common experience of trauma survivors seeking out extreme situations; the feeling is terrible, but it's a *feeling* and when you're so disconnected from yourself that you can't feel anything you'll take whatever you can get. Even horrible physical pain is nothing compared to feeling like you are observing your life rather than living it.
This is very interesting. I have depression, but I am not afraid of death. Actually that’s the danger I struggle with. When things get too tight and hurtful, my mind defaults to “well I mean, there’s death…” because I’m more afraid of a bad life than death itself. So I avoid people that seem potentially harmful. Once and if someone, anyone, hurts me badly, I cut all ties with no way of contacting me at all. I go to those extremes to protect myself, because I am afraid of people causing me even more harm than death itself. So to me something is not connecting. I do regret a lot of things, but not because I’m afraid of death, but rather because I could have avoided all that harm and I wouldn’t be recovering from all that stuff right now, and I wouldn’t be so easily and impulsively thinking “well I mean, there’s death…” I’m fine. If anyone reads this, I’m ok. I can recognize those thought patterns now and I know that if I opt for that option I would hurt at least one person I know. I’m quite good at ignoring the impulse after decades of fighting it. I’m just tired, and I want a peaceful life. It is really my only true goal. I don’t want money or fame or even a partner. I’m fine by myself. I just seek peace and quiet. No more harmful people, no more bullies, no more abusers, no more envy that I can’t detect on time, none of that crap. A simple quiet life where I can exist at my own pace and learn whatever I want and use that learning to contribute to society because I’m still alive and I want to give not just take. So…something here is not connecting. I would like to have a better understanding. Or maybe I’m genuinely just exhausted and if I die tomorrow I wouldn’t feel any fear or regret about it. It was a hard life already. I’m done.
There is a lot I can relate to here.. I have been thinking about stuff like this for a while. And I have a question. Why is death seen as the bad option? I understand it from the perspective of evolution and biology, but if we believe there is more to humanity than just the flesh and electrical impulses, than how can we honestly say that thoughs like this are wrong? We dont understand death at all, but we all know its bad. So..why? Id like to believe its true. Id like to agree, but I just dont understand why I should.
@@raglock1433 you answered it yourself. We don’t understand death at all. People fear what they don’t understand, so that fear of the unknown is what makes them perceive death as bad. “And why aren’t you afraid of death?” I can’t answer that in a public comment. I have good reasons not to fear death, and also like I said in my initial comment, I’m just so tired of a bad life that I don’t care anymore. So I’m only still here because I don’t want to hurt the few people that still care that I exist. Once they’re gone… I sincerely don’t have any plans for sticking around.
Thank you Dr. K for this video. I would like to add something from my own experience to that: when making a decision about things I am really not sure about, being aware of the possibility of failure helps me a great deal. Especially when I don’t not succeed. because I can and do remember that I made the decision at that point in a very conscious way with all the (limited) info and feeling available at that time. So there is less of a point in regretting.
Armored Core just came out a couple of days ago so my mind has been on mechs recently. It feels like the universe is telling me that I should incorporate this meditation into my routine. I've been trying other meditation methods from your guide for almost a month now and it has been exceedingly helpful for me to work through my Dysthymia, Anxiety, and ADHD issues. I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart Dr. K!
The sheer vertigo of my first time "mech pilot meditating" 😮 I've been meditating for the past four years as part of my therapy, pretty inconsistently though, but I'm used to meditating. But the simple exercise you tell us about completely blew my mind, in mere seconds I felt weird, but like "better weird". I'll try to keep on practicing this to see which results come in the long term, but I feel like that's just what I needed right now. Thank you ❤
I VERY rarely comment on RU-vid videos. But I just have to say this one particular video lesson hit me so deeply and I’m so grateful for your insight here. I’ve watched your videos for a couple months now and this one has by far been the most impactful. Thank you Dr. K!
This is such an interesting talk. Seriously, a home run! Super useful (as a 4th year med student soon to be applying for Psychiatry residency). This mec pilot thing fascinates me, I am reminded that people, especially childhood trauma, use this exact same thing via dissociation/depersonalization. I once knew a woman who had been sexually abused, and she swore up and down that her ability to dissociate had caused her to also be gifted at ESP. Also, NDErs, frequently talk about having heightened intuition and ESP after their ego death experience. All of this points at what you are talking about. I had never made the connection to regret, which is quite common in depression. Love it Dr K!
I kind of disagreed with Dr.K on psychedelic comment. I was depressed and went to Ayahuasca ceremony , did not have ego death but it still healed me. I basically told me a story of my ancestors and wanted me to connect with them. I learnt a lot during that process. Then I said I am done , I want to move forward , then Aya told ‘there you go!’ - so basically move forward was the message but in a highly spiritual way. Very smart medicine
this pilot meditationfeels like how i live everyday, it feels like im playing a video game, like im not present, my doctor says its anxiety but i never think im an anxious person.. i cant think even it just feels like im not alive at all :D
I think this is why I gravitate towards marijuana to help with anxiety. It dissolves the part of me that gets stuck on the outcome of a scenario and I seem to be able to digest things better. When I am on tolerance breaks I end up in thought loop land a lot more and don't really get over things. Thanks for sharing, I Look forward to trying this as I work towards eventually replacing weed with meditation altogether.
If you are confident in your choices and actions there is usually little to regret. People with regret and worries are often too concerned with the past to live in the moment and thus hindering their futures
@@GerhardTreibheit Sounds right to me. Just don't think correlation equals causation. Just because psychopaths tend to have no regrets doesn't mean people without regrets are psychopaths 😊
It takes years to build true confidence in yourself, that is actually based on objectively deserving that confidence... Anyway, I wouldn't put too much importance on things that useless-for-society monks believe in... There are too many problems that need to be solved, and "meditating" or "praying" should be kept to a minimum - if at all needed for that person to actually do what he already knows deep inside that he has to do... The way to keep regrets to a minimum is to make a real effort not to repeat past mistakes. But I would *not* detach from my ego, simply because I trust myself more than any other living person alive... In the next few years I'll definitely slowly trust (truth telling) AI's more than myself. AI's are about to kill everyone's ego much faster than most can imagine. For me, it'll be amazing. I don't care who gets the job done as long as it gets done. At the moment, a million things would simply never happen if I didn't make them happen (unrelated to me directly).
I've discovered this on my own and it has done a lot of good for me. Life is a lot less stressful. At this point it's like a switch I can flip in my brain. I may be experiencing something bad, but does it really matter? It affects me because I'm choosing to let it affect me. And we're kind of built that way because it makes sense. We want to pay attention to things that make us feel bad, because chances are that those things pose a risk to us. So our body or our mind start ringing alarm bells. We're conditioned to care about that. But we're not hard-wired to care about it. So that switch is what helps me let go. I make the decision not to let these things affect me. And the effect is precisely what Dr K says it is when it comes to physical pain. The physical sensation is identical. But the mental experience of suffering has disappeared. Since suffering is a choice, I don't need to fear it, and so I don't need to fear having regrets. And not being paralyzed by the fear of regret has allowed me to do more with my life, and has also allowed me to deal with regrets I already had. Because those regrets were just me beating myself up for no reason. Feeling bad because I thought I needed to feel bad. But once you get past that, all those lingering negative feelings disappear.
The pain dissociation thing is the exact same realization I had when I had my first psychedelic experience. The pain is real but I felt that I didn't have to let it affect me.
You got a Factor sponsorship; I'm so stoked for you! Happy for you man, congratulations. I listen to your videos while I work, and the disconnect between the intro and the lack of segue into the sponsorship was a bit jarring. A quick line like, "Before we get started, I want to take a moment to thank Factor for sponsoring today's video" or something like that at the beginning of the ad segment would ease the transition. Without the visual cue of you standing in your kitchen to let me know, the jump from you talking about regret to telling me you just got back from vacation definitely had me doing a double take! Long time lurker gal who loves your channel. It has given me so many different perspectives and a deeper understanding of and empathy for the experiences of the men in my communities (weeb/gamer). Thanks for the amazing work you do
Can you explain the difference in feeling pride and being proud? For example I'm proud of personal accomplishments that no one can take away from me as theyre rooted in my very personal and subjective experience
Nah this is surreal, I've been struggling with this exactly for one year. I've never related to a video of yours ever, but this one is like spot on what I'm feeling, not even my therapist understood it that well in 1 year of therapy
Literally Ego death for nerds: Gundam Version 16:14 Thanks Dr. K I am a college graduate with severe depression and your advice is a constant reminder that I am not just a body to be controlled by its brain, but a willfull, volatile individual who needs to discipline his mind to better understand himself and the world. ❤ Have a beautiful day please. 😊
I usually hate when people say "woah that's deep" because normally it's just everyday or mundane stuff they just discovered. But this info is... wow. It explains so much! I already feel more in control, or maybe to better put it, more "in tune" with my vessel
As I was watching the video I thought: when you are deeply inmersed on a game you usually lose that connection with your body, and "yourself" isn't within your mind or body, but you are within the character you are controlling. I don't know if it's just my experience, but when I recall moments of me playing videogames where I'm deeply inmersed, I don't really recall what was around my body, but what was around my character, as if I was the character and I was living that myself
Very informative video but what im struggling with is that the more i disassociate myself with my ego, the less regrets I will have which is a good thing but there's this monstrous motivation inside of me wanting to be someone great. Someone that serves humanity in a grand way. I don't know if some would consider this motivation to be egotistical (meaning it contradicts with lessening my regrets) or if it's not. But it's like I don't know what to pick. I wish I could have both, no regrets, and be someone important. It feels like to be someone important, especially in todays world, you need to have a competitive mindset. Just like you said Doctor K, you sometimes get worried that there are other doctors better than you. I feel like there's something subtle that I'm fundamentally understanding wrong and I can't figure it out. I would seriously appreciate a response if anyone understands my paradox.
i've asked myself something similar. here are my thoughts. baseline: you are someone who experiences and has the ability to act in any way you want. what limits your actions is following your sense of identity. your identity is the sum of all of your subjective parts (habits, tendencies, interests, goals, values). the ones that you subconsciously know or value constitute your sense of self. what creates resistance when you want to not follow or change your sense of self is the ego. 1) you can still care a lot about a value if you have no ego, you still have an identity or sense of self. in fact, you need to have it, because you need to go somewhere, but there's no objective "where" to go to. the point is that not resisting changes in identity does not mean you need to accept every change. you just need to adapt to your reality, but you can also interact with reality in order to change it. so you can actually act more effectively towards your values without an ego (as that would make you adapt to difficulties in living with your values) and if you aren't limited by ego, you also aren't limited in your ability to follow your identity. you can perfectly deny when others say you should be someone else, because that's factually wrong. you could be, but you can be anything else as well, and it isn't them who defines that. 2) wanting to be impactful does not need to be ego-based just like you can be anything, you can also be someone that wants to be important and impactful. but is it insecurity driving this, or is this what you want right now and that's it? if you suddenly couldn't achieve this goal, would you feel bad about your life? if yes, then this might be ego. otherwise, no problem having this goal. 3) wanting to be at the top does not need to be ego-based similarly to the last point, if that's what you want, you can do it. and if you NEED to be competitive to do that, then you can be competitive. but if there's insecurity behind that, it's ego.
It's probably gonna help you to understand why you wanna be someone great. And don't just leave it at one answer like "because I wanna help people". Ask yourself why you wanna do what will make you a great person until you feel like you've gotten to the core of it. That might help you see if it's truly disconnected from your ego or not. You can do great things even with a disconnect from your ego because you think it's the right thing to do from a moral standpoint. The moment it becomes something that benefits you emotionally, it's probably connected to your ego. Which doesn't make it bad or something to avoid. Even just realising how things are tied to your ego gives you more freedom to act on that knowledge.
I am in exactly the same boat. I drift every day between a blissful carelessness thinking 'yes, this is the right way to live' , and then a constantly reocurring worry that at the end of life i will deeply regret having let go of the ultimate 'adventure' of chasing dreams when I still had the chance. The first option is peaceful, but the second one is far more 'eventful' and I'm stuck between these two opposite mindsets. So no, you're definitely not alone.
I witness this separation of me and my surroundings many places. During sunrise and sunset, seeing the sun in red paint outlines of trees on a surface, at seasons of the year marking a change, things sprouting from the ground and leaves turning all different colours then fall, when I'm in a flow state of something, when in nature, walking or growing things, riding my bike and just looking around :)
I actually learned to deal with regret in my own way. Regret, it just hurts and keeps down and does nothing positive, keeps you living in the past stopping you from living in the moment. No matter what you do, you have rich bankers that are still depressed and full of regret, you have celebrities who have the dream life you wish for and they still have regrets. I learned to just spit on regret and live by the ideal only fools wallow in regret. Doing so made me a much more present and thankful person. The perfect life does not exist, stop being entitled to one. Life is not meant to be easy, its made for you to grow and take lessons from it. My ideals, take it as you will.
Essentially, you killed you ego. Life doesn't owe you anything. Thus, you don't expect/deserve anything. No ego. Different perspective and technique to achieve a similar state of mind, I would say.
This reminds me of an argument I read once for the spirit’s existence. It was outlined that the spirit is inside us and uses our body as almost a tool to observe the world. We are not our bodies or our minds but our spirits and how they choose to use the “tools” at their disposal.
Such an interesting and fascinating video. I actually need to rewatch the video to understand everything more. So much stuff while also being well explained. You are something else man. Absolutely astonishing. 22:34
when my gramma passed... i literally experienced what she experienced.... i felt she finally gave up her deep sense of regret.... she was a very angry and unhappy person....i feel im just repeating her life... i felt she finally experienced happiness and bliss when she passed...i felt she was trying to tell me " its all the same in the end, dont waste ur life being so angry and hateful and ruining all ur closest relationships because of it. dont hurt the ones who love most cuz u cant stop regretting ur life".
I experienced an ego death this year. I didn't know it was an ego death though. But when it happened it was as though my life flashed before my eyes. Whole bunch of memories. Some that I never even thought of flooded my system and just took over. It was the most profound moment in my life because for the first time I was able to understand myself in a completely different way and in a way that facilitates self-compassion and acceptance Which is something I've always longed for. Well and since I'm still alive that ego death has left me kind of in this place of sometimes I'm still in my old self and old patterns and beliefs. I guess that makes them still current but it's like this. I'm in between two worlds or two lives and I haven't fully accepted what I've learned through this ego death.
Would love to see a guided mech pilot meditation! As someone who often feels paralyzed by anxiety, I thought this was a really beautiful lesson. I'm going to save it to watch again later. Thank you. 🌿
As a kid, I'd have a mini conflict with the idea of having a name, it was really weird to me that some letters were the 'cover' for a whole person, and it started a trend of questioning 'who am I, really?' in a lot of aspects. Reflecting about who I was when I took out the name, then when I took out my hobbies, school grades, etc made me feel with a bit of distance of my self and well, experiences! Although I didn't reach an ego death like Dr K explains, it did help me to appreciate things like 'wow, I'm using my legs' or having some random moments of appreciation because I can interact with humans. Right now, as a 25 yo, I still have moments where everything feels new or distant from my own self, and I came to be happy with the person I built thanks to my kid-version, and obviously my life journey overall. It's not that much closed to what the video tells, but I wanted to share it bc it's the closest experience I've seen in yt about it! (and as a fun fact, there's a game that talks about the Inuit culture where they mentioned something like that for their wind god, if i remember correctly, where they say that 'this god is the water, the leaves and the food, but its also us and who we met') Have a lovely day everyone, take care and let me know your thought! I'd love to talk
@@marco7563 ohh I didnt know that!! As far as I remember, it started bc I wanted to be like a medieval knight and I though I had to be named as 'knight' 😂 I wasnt the smartest kid, but I was quite reflective, that and I didnt like other people telling me what I should like (like soccers, for example), so I had to actually think what do I like But the trauma response sounds interesting, and it does make sense why one would react like that to a trauma
I'm curious how this relates to dissociation. From what I've heard, dissociation is not a particularly pleasant experience. But it sounds like it should be, right? Losing your sense of self, feeling like you do not even inhabit your own body, sounds like a death of the ego to me. I don't know, maybe there's some key difference I'm missing.
I'd be tempted to put them on opposite ends of a spectrum? Being dissociated is like having your consciousness fractured and the pieces aren't talking to each other properly. Ego death feels more like radical association. The pieces aren't falling apart, they are falling together. The various inner voices of our minds stop bickering and start singing in unison and one realizes just how 'dissociated' they are in their day to day existence. Is it pleasant? More like the deepest awe possible yet somehow also incredibly familiar. Words fail to describe.
I personally developed this meditation technique on my own to help me fall asleep, and i found it a lot easier to get past the first time after spending a couple months in the gym focusing on the individual muscles i was working out. I basically learned how to move my consciousness like the mech pilot. I found that focusing on my breathing helped get into that state
This is actually incredible. I have been living my life regret free for so many years, and this actually feels like something I naturally have always done.
I had no idea Armored Core was going to help me come to terms with my sense of self. In all seriousness this was a fantastic video Dr. K. I've been overcoming my feelings of regret with Friedrich Nietzsche's "Amor Fati" philosophy, however the idea of fate and the illusion of free will doesn't sit well with me. You've given me a new way to deal with regrets and a new practice to follow. One question that I've been struggling with: Is there any benefit to the ego? It seems like the freedom from suffering comes from completely disconnecting from your ego, however when I do this I lose my sense of identity which makes it hard to talk about myself and who I am when meeting new people. It feels like in order to engage with society you need to have an ego so others recognize how you identify with yourself. I'm curious about your thoughts here. Thanks again!
The ego is benefitial to survival, as it is and was essential for the species evolution. But nowadays with the modern world it seems more like a setback than a good thing.
I used to have trouble with the idea of losing certain things that were with me for a long time, like the ability to do certain things, memories, body parts. And, I guess inadvertently started doing part of the meditation described in the end. Pain is a lot more tolerable for me now, and I’ve become less detached to certain things
So you're telling me that as you're dying, you basically become a third person narrator in a book? And that we should look at our lives as if we were a third person narrator?
Panic wastes energy. The brain gives up when it's evident panic is useless, and gives you the best orgasmic way out of the world, apparently very similarly to how you came into it... But I agree with you, it should mean very little for actual (daily) life and actual (full, permanent) death...
i get this part but I dont get how seeing myself from the third person will make my regrets disappear - they won't, I just won't care about them anymore, but it doesn't guarantee that I don't make bad decisions in life
I still have depression, but I had a really intense dream in my late teens that felt like it lasted weeks. I had to come to terms with the understanding that I was going to die. I was pending execution in the dream. By the end of the dream I had accepted my fate. Waking up from that was so trippy. I don't want to die, but I haven't feared death since that dream. I don't want to suffer when I die, but death itself I'm not afraid of. This video really spoke to that.
I recently had an accidental but very powerful kundalini awakening, which looking back I was certainly not ready for lol. But one of the things I can actually remember from that time was feeling a complete lack of sense of self. I felt like everything and nothing at the same time. I felt like all time was happening at once. No labels fit. Words had little real meaning. I experienced a distinct separation of mind, soul, and body. I experienced the "mech" sensation in full swing. It was unavoidable. I ended up thinking about my body as it's own separate entity to "me", whatever that really is. I actually ended up calling it "meat mech", and would laugh at how absurd it is lol After a few weeks I slowly but surely came back to "reality", which at the time I thought I never would. I thought the old "me" was dead, an unattached observer was all that was left. In some ways I'm glad that I slowly came back around to "myself", but that's just the ego talking after all! Deep down I do miss that pure detachment. I wonder if that's something I'll ever experience again in this life.
I can't believe it. About ten years ago, I had a series of dissociative and psychedelic trips. A few years after that, me and my ex developed this entire theory where we were piloting giant mechs. We were also inspired by Evangelion. In Evangelion, pilots have their nervous systems synchronized with giant machines so that if a machine feels pain pilot also feels pain but. I remember doing a lot of drawings (was going to art school at the time) using like visual fields of human vision and stuff. After a while as no one seemed to be really interested in this, we kind of put it on the backburner. But as soon as you said "mech pilot meditation" I knew exactly where you were going :)
Serious question: where’s the line between the mech pilot meditation and disassociation or at a minimum compartmentalization? Like if we distance ourselves from ourselves, can that negatively morph into checking out of life?
Holy crap. My mind is not myself. This makes so much sense and brings me so much peace. I feel separate from it now, and like Dr. K said, my mind is something that I can act on. This really helps to reconcile the “I do the things I do not want to do, and what I do not want to do, I do” in me. My self and my brain are not one and fight for control.
This meta pilot meditation is kinda similar to a technique Isha Kriya developed a famous yogi Sadhguru where you meditate mindfully to detach yourself from your mind and body by repeating certain sentences over and over. I practised it a lot a year ago and it does kind of detaches you from pain and ego. After watching this vid, I think I will pick it up again. Great vid Doc
My only regret is that I didn't ask my dad and grandparents more about their lives and youths and what the world was like back then before I lost them. I'm trying to be better about leading those conversations with my few living family members who are older than me so that I don't continue to have that same regret when I lose someone else. Everything else in my life ultimately led me to where I am now, so there's nothing I'd change. Well, and giving into pandemic depression and gaining all that weight. But I'm working on fixing that. :)
The part about paranoid schyzophrenia, made me question a few things... I no longer feel that way but I definitely rememer feeling like that every day for years.
There's this concept in Human Design called "passenger consciousness". It basically suggests, in my own words, that "you" are only a passenger in this current body that you've gotten to experience this current life through. Your body lives, and "you" observe and experience the ride : ) I think it ties nicely with the Buddhist ideas. It's helped me get over my anxieties that stemmed from over-identifying with "who" I am (instead of the fact that I just "am").
He’ll just switch bodies when he gets too old. He’s already a necromancer reviving and talking with the dead, so he can probably hop bodies too. That, or he’s just immortal
The first time hearing the voice in my head as separate from “myself” was weird as hell. Self-enquiry made it happen for me personally, as in continually asking “Who is the one that is feeling? Who is the one having these thoughts?”
I sort of had the reverse. I think I used to be more close to this more inner self. I remember when I was a kid, people told me they can have literal, worded inner thoughts. I went into my room and tried to find it for hours, it was super weird when I finally could "talk" in my thoughts. A few decades went by, and now its time for me to rediscover "myself" without the mind.
Banger...I feel understood, rather confirmed, about my experience both in meditating on death and LSDD experiences and happy to learn that I am not weird or different from other human beings in that experience.
A long time ago I read a book summary of "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying" and it's always good to keep those aspects in mind. Being true to yourself, focus on friends and family rather than just living for work, keeping up with friends and such.
I need to find and learn how to let go of my ego. Because of my ego, im literally hating my career/job right now. This video is the first step in doing that.
Can you maybe make an episode on psychedelics and salvia? I had many egodeaths but I wouldnt describe the experience as blissfull. It was a huge struggle. After it I feel so grounded und alleviated and as if I now could see the truth. But I would like to understand whats happening. I dont know how to deal with whats going on. I forget everything. Even where I am, who I am, what I am, that I have even taken something. My line if thought is completely broken and sometimes repeats, words repeat in my head. When I look at stuff, especially faces they merge from one form to the next. Its like I am free falling and there is nothing to hold on to. The mind wants to know whats going on, but I often dont know anything about how the world works anymore, especially not that I have taken some drug, so how can I know. I learned now that I can not hold onto anything or it will be pain, but somehow this knowledge is still there while I know nothing. I just need to let myself float. Its just so confusing. There are so many different voices in my head that just do their stuff and I can not find where I am. And everything that could hurt me is forcefully dragged up and beaten into my face me until I accept it. Its like I am suddenly born into something. I feel like there is no past and at the same time there is a lot of it. And the sudden moments of realisation, whats happening. I mean with shrooms and stuff you feel like you are lying in the womb of mother earth, but with salvia its just cold and brutal and completely alienating. You are definitely not you, thats not your body, even days later I felt like "thats all just one of many, many lives I visit from time to time" and then my thoughts breakt apart again. Its just.. how do you deal with this confusion? How can you deal with your thoughts and your sense of what everything is dissolving?
At first your channel seemed generic and water, but the stuff you say is actually incredibly profound and not something we hear a lot. This video resonates with me a lot. Thank you
